ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Megan Washington - Musician
Megan Washington has won two ARIA Awards, the Australian equivalent of the Grammys. A popular singer/songwriter, she has recently come clean with a secret—that she has a speech impediment.

Why you should listen

The lyrics of Megan Washington’s songs have a beautiful, confessional tone: she sings about heartbreak, insecurity, rage, you name it. But there is one thing that Washington avoided sharing publicly before stepping on the stage of TEDxSydney 2014: that she has a stutter.

One of Australia’s most promising singer/songwriters, Megan Washington won two ARIA Awards in 2010 for “Best Female Artist” and “Breakthrough Artist” following the release of her album, I Believe You Liar. The album went platinum, and she followed it up in 2012 with Insomnia. Her latest album, There There, was be released on September 12, 2014.

Prior to going solo, Washington played jazz piano with various acts and founded a band called Washington, borrowing her last name. After her breakthrough solo album, she served as a mentor on Australia’s version of The Voice and also spoke on music panels on the show Spicks and Specks, using a method called "smooth speech" to overcome her stuttering on-air. Washington's songs have also appeared in TV shows Girls and Boardwalk Empire.

More profile about the speaker
Megan Washington | Speaker | TED.com
TEDxSydney

Megan Washington: Why I live in mortal dread of public speaking

Filmed:
1,926,966 views

Megan Washington is one of Australia's premier singer/songwriters. And, since childhood, she has had a stutter. In this bold and personal talk, she reveals how she copes with this speech impediment—from avoiding the letter combination “st” to tricking her brain by changing her words at the last minute to, yes, singing the things she has to say rather than speaking them.
- Musician
Megan Washington has won two ARIA Awards, the Australian equivalent of the Grammys. A popular singer/songwriter, she has recently come clean with a secret—that she has a speech impediment. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:12
I didn't know when I agreed to do this
0
36
4569
00:16
whether I was expected to talk or to sing.
1
4605
5680
00:22
But when I was told that the topic was language,
2
10285
5048
00:27
I felt that I had to speak about something for a moment.
3
15333
4771
00:32
I have a problem.
4
20104
4349
00:36
It's not the worst thing in the world.
5
24453
2014
00:38
I'm fine.
6
26467
1197
00:39
I'm not on fire.
7
27664
1749
00:41
I know that other people in the world
8
29413
1901
00:43
have far worse things to deal with,
9
31314
4168
00:47
but for me, language and music are
10
35482
5950
00:53
inextricably linked through this one thing.
11
41432
4435
00:57
And the thing is that I have a stutter.
12
45867
7689
01:05
It might seem curious given that I spend
13
53556
2548
01:08
a lot of my life on the stage.
14
56104
3798
01:11
One would assume that I'm comfortable
15
59902
3024
01:14
in the public sphere and comfortable here,
16
62926
2432
01:17
speaking to you guys.
17
65358
2440
01:19
But the truth is that I've spent
my life up until this point
18
67798
4770
01:24
and including this point, living in mortal dread
19
72568
4351
01:28
of public speaking.
20
76919
3310
01:32
Public singing, whole different thing. (Laughter)
21
80229
4702
01:36
But we'll get to that in a moment.
22
84939
3493
01:40
I've never really talked about it before so explicitly.
23
88432
5910
01:46
I think that that's because I've always lived in hope
24
94342
2332
01:48
that when I was a grown-up,
25
96674
2544
01:51
I wouldn't have one.
26
99218
6272
01:57
I sort of lived with this idea that when I'm grown,
27
105490
3215
02:00
I'll have learned to speak French,
28
108705
3207
02:03
and when I'm grown, I'll learn
how to manage my money,
29
111912
3278
02:07
and when I'm grown, I won't have a stutter,
30
115190
2278
02:09
and then I'll be able to public speak
and maybe be the prime minister
31
117468
2323
02:11
and anything's possible and, you know.
32
119791
3365
02:15
(Laughter)
33
123156
3400
02:18
So I can talk about it now
34
126556
3049
02:21
because I've reached this point, where —
35
129605
3822
02:25
I mean, I'm 28.
36
133427
3940
02:29
I'm pretty sure that I'm grown now.
37
137367
2490
02:31
(Laughter)
38
139857
1822
02:33
And I'm an adult woman
39
141679
2002
02:35
who spends her life as a performer,
40
143681
4076
02:39
with a speech impediment.
41
147757
2902
02:42
So, I might as well come clean about it.
42
150659
4208
02:46
There are some interesting
angles to having a stutter.
43
154867
3982
02:50
For me, the worst thing that can happen
44
158849
3374
02:54
is meeting another stutterer.
45
162223
3262
02:57
(Laughter)
46
165485
3216
03:00
This happened to me in Hamburg, when
47
168701
3207
03:03
this guy, we met and he said,
48
171908
2003
03:05
"Hello, m-m-m-my name is Joe,"
49
173911
3621
03:09
and I said, "Oh, hello, m-m-m-my name is Meg."
50
177532
4261
03:13
Imagine my horror when I realized
51
181793
2657
03:16
he thought I was making fun of him.
52
184450
1905
03:18
(Laughter)
53
186355
4095
03:24
People think I'm drunk all the time.
54
192197
5033
03:29
(Laughter)
55
197230
3400
03:32
People think that I've forgotten their name
56
200630
3676
03:36
when I hesitate before saying it.
57
204306
4691
03:40
And it is a very weird thing, because
58
208997
2223
03:43
proper nouns are the worst.
59
211220
4239
03:47
If I'm going to use the word
"Wednesday" in a sentence,
60
215459
3790
03:51
and I'm coming up to the word,
61
219249
2903
03:54
and I can feel that I'm going to stutter or something,
62
222152
2969
03:57
I can change the word to "tomorrow,"
63
225121
3310
04:00
or "the day after Tuesday,"
64
228431
2059
04:02
or something else.
65
230490
2393
04:04
It's clunky, but you can get away with it,
66
232883
4983
04:09
because over time I've developed this
67
237866
2542
04:12
loophole method of using speech
68
240408
4387
04:16
where right at the last minute you
69
244795
3131
04:19
change the thing and you trick your brain.
70
247926
4281
04:24
But with people's names, you can't change them.
71
252207
3708
04:27
(Laughter)
72
255915
2678
04:30
When I was singing a lot of jazz,
73
258593
3169
04:33
I worked a lot with a pianist whose name was Steve.
74
261762
5523
04:39
As you can probably gather,
75
267285
2614
04:41
S's and T's, together or independently,
76
269899
3274
04:45
are my kryptonite.
77
273173
3043
04:49
But I would have to introduce the band
78
277287
2152
04:51
over this rolling vamp,
79
279439
3212
04:54
and when I got around to Steve,
80
282651
2849
04:57
I'd often find myself stuck on the "St."
81
285500
5771
05:03
And it was a bit awkward and uncomfortable
and it totally kills the vibe.
82
291271
5688
05:08
So after a few instances of this,
83
296959
2328
05:11
Steve happily became "Seve,"
84
299287
5100
05:16
and we got through it that way. (Laughter)
85
304387
4595
05:21
I've had a lot of therapy,
86
309887
2351
05:24
and a common form of treatment is to use
87
312238
2287
05:26
this technique that's called smooth speech,
88
314525
4908
05:31
which is where you almost
sing everything that you say.
89
319433
5425
05:36
You kind of join everything together in this
90
324858
2352
05:39
very singsong, kindergarten teacher way,
91
327210
4265
05:43
and it makes you sound very serene,
like you've had lots of Valium,
92
331475
3979
05:47
and everything is calm. (Laughter)
93
335454
3792
05:51
That's not actually me.
94
339246
3127
05:54
And I do use that. I do.
95
342373
3325
05:57
I use it when I have to be on panel shows,
96
345698
6834
06:04
or when I have to do radio interviews,
97
352532
3379
06:07
when the economy of airtime is paramount.
98
355911
4863
06:12
(Laughter)
99
360774
3054
06:15
I get through it that way for my job.
100
363828
4388
06:20
But as an artist who feels that their work
101
368216
2717
06:22
is based solely on a platform of honesty
102
370933
5970
06:28
and being real,
103
376903
4034
06:32
that feels often like cheating.
104
380937
3734
06:36
Which is why before I sing, I wanted to tell you
105
384671
3214
06:39
what singing means to me.
106
387885
3659
06:43
It's more than making nice sounds,
107
391544
4051
06:47
and it's more than making nice songs.
108
395595
5402
06:52
It's more than feeling known, or understood.
109
400997
5534
06:58
It's more than making you feel the things that I feel.
110
406531
6165
07:04
It's not about mythology,
111
412696
2689
07:07
or mythologizing myself to you.
112
415385
5042
07:12
Somehow, through some miraculous
113
420427
5378
07:17
synaptic function of the human brain,
114
425805
4500
07:22
it's impossible to stutter when you sing.
115
430305
5456
07:27
And when I was younger,
that was a method of treatment
116
435761
3756
07:31
that worked very well for me,
117
439517
2453
07:33
singing, so I did it a lot.
118
441970
5880
07:39
And that's why I'm here today.
119
447850
4143
07:43
(Applause)
120
451993
4365
07:48
Thank you.
121
456358
3491
07:54
Singing for me is sweet relief.
122
462010
4573
07:58
It is the only time when I feel fluent.
123
466583
8847
08:07
It is the only time when what comes out of my mouth
124
475430
3426
08:10
is comprehensively exactly what I intended.
125
478856
2592
08:13
(Laughter)
126
481448
2283
08:15
So I know that this is a TED Talk,
127
483731
2937
08:18
but now i'm going to TED sing.
128
486668
3749
08:22
This is a song that I wrote last year.
129
490417
1559
08:23
Thank you very much. Thank you.
130
491976
2398
08:26
(Applause)
131
494374
5174
08:39
(Piano)
132
507321
5859
08:54
♪ I would be a beauty ♪
133
522819
3873
08:58
♪ but my nose ♪
134
526692
3476
09:02
♪ is slightly too big ♪
135
530168
3634
09:05
♪ for my face ♪
136
533802
3498
09:09
♪ And I would be a dreamer ♪
137
537300
3875
09:13
♪ but my dream ♪
138
541175
3465
09:16
♪ is slightly too big ♪
139
544640
3611
09:20
♪ for this space ♪
140
548251
3589
09:23
♪ And I would be an angel ♪
141
551840
3937
09:27
♪ but my halo ♪
142
555777
3673
09:31
♪ it pales in the glow ♪
143
559450
3436
09:34
♪ of your grace ♪
144
562886
3521
09:38
♪ And I would be a joker ♪
145
566407
3757
09:42
♪ but that card looks silly when you play ♪
146
570164
8775
09:50
♪ your ace ♪
147
578939
4235
10:07
♪ I'd like to know ♪
148
595701
3768
10:11
♪ Are there stars in hell? ♪
149
599469
3769
10:15
♪ And I'd like to know ♪
150
603238
3679
10:18
♪ know if you can tell ♪
151
606917
3804
10:22
♪ that you make me lose everything I know ♪
152
610721
6984
10:29
♪ That I cannot choose to or not let go ♪
153
617705
6880
10:50
♪ And I'd stay forever ♪
154
638022
4164
10:54
♪ but my home ♪
155
642186
3285
10:57
♪ is slightly too far ♪
156
645471
3679
11:01
♪ from this place ♪
157
649150
2823
11:03
♪ And I swear I tried to ♪
158
651973
4354
11:08
♪ slow it down ♪
159
656327
3611
11:11
♪ when I am walking at your pace ♪
160
659938
6945
11:18
♪ But all I could think ♪
161
666883
2285
11:21
♪ idling through the cities ♪
162
669168
5448
11:26
♪ do I look pretty in the rain? ♪
163
674616
7169
11:33
♪ And I don't know how someone ♪
164
681785
3425
11:37
♪ quite so lovely ♪
165
685210
3523
11:40
♪ makes me feel ugly ♪
166
688733
5658
11:46
♪ So much shame ♪
167
694391
3074
11:55
♪ And I'd like to know ♪
168
703595
3701
11:59
♪ Are there stars in hell? ♪
169
707296
3556
12:02
♪ And I'd like to know ♪
170
710852
3772
12:06
♪ know if you can tell ♪
171
714624
3658
12:10
♪ that you make me lose everything I know ♪
172
718282
7177
12:17
♪ that I cannot choose to or not let go ♪
173
725459
6548
12:52
Thank you very much. (Applause)
174
760620
4441

▲Back to top

ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Megan Washington - Musician
Megan Washington has won two ARIA Awards, the Australian equivalent of the Grammys. A popular singer/songwriter, she has recently come clean with a secret—that she has a speech impediment.

Why you should listen

The lyrics of Megan Washington’s songs have a beautiful, confessional tone: she sings about heartbreak, insecurity, rage, you name it. But there is one thing that Washington avoided sharing publicly before stepping on the stage of TEDxSydney 2014: that she has a stutter.

One of Australia’s most promising singer/songwriters, Megan Washington won two ARIA Awards in 2010 for “Best Female Artist” and “Breakthrough Artist” following the release of her album, I Believe You Liar. The album went platinum, and she followed it up in 2012 with Insomnia. Her latest album, There There, was be released on September 12, 2014.

Prior to going solo, Washington played jazz piano with various acts and founded a band called Washington, borrowing her last name. After her breakthrough solo album, she served as a mentor on Australia’s version of The Voice and also spoke on music panels on the show Spicks and Specks, using a method called "smooth speech" to overcome her stuttering on-air. Washington's songs have also appeared in TV shows Girls and Boardwalk Empire.

More profile about the speaker
Megan Washington | Speaker | TED.com