ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Ingrid Betancourt - Writer, peace advocate
Ingrid Betancourt was a presidential candidate in Colombia in 2002 when she was kidnapped by guerilla rebels. After six years in captivity and a high-profile rescue, she now writes about what she learned about fear, forgiveness and the divine.

Why you should listen

Born December 25, 1961, in Colombia, Ingrid Betancourt is a French-Colombian activist in the cause of freedom. She was a politician and presidential candidate in Colombia, celebrated for her determination to combat widespread corruption. In February 2002 she was taken hostage by the FARC, a communist guerrilla organization. For six and a half years, the FARC held her hostage in the Amazonian jungle. She was rescued on July 2, 2008.

Since her release, Betancourt has become a memoirist and fiction writer. Her first book, Even Silence Has Its End, which lyrically recounts her six years in the impenetrable jungle, was published in 2010. In 2016, she published a second work -- this time of fiction -- called The Blue Line, about the disappearances in Argentina during the Dirty War from 1976 to 1983. 

Betancourt has received multiple international awards, including the French National Order of the Légion d’Honneur, the Spanish Prince of Asturias Prize of Concord, the Italian Prize Grinzane Cavour, and was nominated to the Nobel Peace Prize for her commitment to democratic values, freedom and tolerance.

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TED2017

Ingrid Betancourt: What six years in captivity taught me about fear and faith

Filmed:
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In 2002, the Colombian guerrilla movement known as the FARC (Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia) kidnapped Ingrid Betancourt in the middle of her presidential campaign. For the next six years, Betancourt was held hostage in jungle prison camps where she was ravaged by malaria, fleas, hunger and human cruelty until her rescue by the Colombian government. In this deeply personal talk, the politician turned writer explains what it's like to live in a perpetual state of fear -- and how her faith sustained her. (In Spanish with English subtitles)
- Writer, peace advocate
Ingrid Betancourt was a presidential candidate in Colombia in 2002 when she was kidnapped by guerilla rebels. After six years in captivity and a high-profile rescue, she now writes about what she learned about fear, forgiveness and the divine. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:13
The first time
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I felt fear
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I was 41 years old.
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People have always said I was brave.
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When I was little,
I'd climb the highest tree,
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and I'd approach any animal fearlessly.
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I liked challenges.
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My father used to say,
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"Good steel can withstand
any temperature."
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And when I entered into
Colombian politics,
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I thought I'd be able
to withstand any temperature.
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I wanted to end corruption;
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I wanted to cut ties between politicians
and drug traffickers.
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The first time I was elected,
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it was because I called out, by name,
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corrupt and untouchable politicians.
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I also called out the president
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for his ties to the cartels.
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That's when the threats started.
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I had to send my very young children
out of the country one morning,
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hidden, all the way to the airport,
in the French ambassador's armored car.
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Days later,
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I was the victim of an attack,
but emerged unharmed.
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The following year,
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the Colombian people elected me
with the highest number of votes.
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I thought people applauded me
because I was brave.
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I, too, thought I was brave.
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But I wasn't.
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I had simply never before experienced
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true fear.
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That changed
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on February 23, 2002.
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At the time, I was a presidential
candidate in Colombia
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promoting my campaign agenda,
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when I was detained
by a group of armed men.
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They were wearing uniforms
with military garments.
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I looked at their boots; they were rubber.
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And I knew
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that the Colombian army
wore leather boots.
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I knew that these were FARC guerrillas.
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From that point on,
everything happened very quickly.
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The commando leader ordered us
to stop the vehicle.
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Meanwhile, one of his men
stepped on an antipersonnel mine
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and flew through the air.
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He landed, sitting upright,
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right in front of me.
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We made eye contact
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and it was then
that the young man understood:
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his rubber boot with his leg still in it
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had landed far away.
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(Sighs)
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He started
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screaming like crazy.
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And the truth is,
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I felt -- as I feel right now,
because I'm reliving these emotions --
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I felt at that moment
that something inside of me was breaking
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and that I was being infected
with his fear.
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My mind went blank and couldn't think;
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it was paralyzed.
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When I finally reacted,
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I said to myself,
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"They're going to kill me,
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and I didn't say goodbye to my children."
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As they took me into
the deepest depths of the jungle,
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the FARC soldiers announced
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that if the government didn't negotiate,
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they'd kill me.
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And I knew
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that the government wouldn't negotiate.
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From that point on,
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I went to sleep in fear every night --
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cold sweats,
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shaking,
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stomach ache,
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insomnia.
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But worse than that
was what was happening to my mind,
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because my memory was being erased:
all the phone numbers,
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addresses,
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names of very dear people,
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even significant life events.
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And so,
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I began to doubt myself,
to doubt my mental health.
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And with doubt came desperation,
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and with desperation came depression.
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I was suffering notorious
behavioral changes
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and it wasn't just paranoia
in moments of panic.
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It was distrust,
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it was hatred,
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and it was also the urge to kill.
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This, I realized
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when they had me
chained by the neck to a tree.
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They kept me outside that day,
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during a tropical downpour.
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I remember feeling an urgent need
to use the bathroom.
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"Whatever you have to do,
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you'll do in front of me,
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bitch,"
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the guard screamed at me.
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And I
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decided at that moment
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to kill him.
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And for days,
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I was planning, trying to find
the right moment, the right way to do it,
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filled with hatred,
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filled with fear.
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Then suddenly,
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I rose up,
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snapped out of it
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and thought:
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"I'm not going to become one of them.
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I'm not going to become an assassin.
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I still have enough freedom
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to decide
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who I want to be."
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That's when I learned that fear
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brought me face to face with myself.
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It forced me
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to align my energies,
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to align my meridians.
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I learned that facing fear
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could become a pathway to growth.
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A lot of emotions arise
when I talk about all of this,
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but when I think back,
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I'm able to identify
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the steps I took to do it.
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I want to share three of them with you.
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The first
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was to be guided by principles.
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Because I realized
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that in the midst of panic
and mental block,
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if I followed my principles,
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I acted correctly.
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I remember the first night
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in a concentration camp
that the guerrillas had built
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in the middle of the jungle,
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with 12-foot-high bars,
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barbed wire,
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lookouts in the four corners
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and armed men pointing
guns at us 24 hours a day.
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That morning, the first morning,
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some men arrived, yelling:
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"Count off! Count off!"
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My fellow hostages woke up, startled,
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and began to identify themselves
in numbered sequence.
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But when it was my turn,
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I said,
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"Ingrid Betancourt.
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If you want to know if I'm here,
call me by my name."
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The guards' fury
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was nothing compared
to that of the other hostages,
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because, obviously they were scared --
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we were all scared --
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and they were afraid that, because of me,
they would be punished.
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But for me,
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beyond fear was the need
to defend my identity,
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to not let them turn me into
a thing or a number.
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That was one of the principles:
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to defend
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what I considered to be human dignity.
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But make no mistake:
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the guerrillas had it all
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very well analyzed --
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they had been kidnapping for years,
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and they had developed a technique
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to break us,
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to defeat us, to divide us.
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And so,
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the second step
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was to learn how to build
supportive trust,
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to learn how to unite.
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The jungle is like a different planet.
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It's a world
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of shadows, of rain,
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with the hum of millions of bugs --
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majiña ants, bullet ants.
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I didn't stop scratching a single day
while I was in the jungle.
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And of course, there were tarantulas,
scorpions, anacondas ...
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I once came face to face
with a 24-foot long anaconda
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that could have swallowed me in one bite.
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Jaguars ...
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But I want to tell you
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that none of these animals
did us as much harm
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as the human beings.
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The guerrillas terrorized us.
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They spread rumors.
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Among the hostages,
they sparked betrayals,
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jealousy,
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resentment,
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mistrust.
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The first time I escaped
for a long time was with Lucho.
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Lucho had been a hostage
for two years longer than I had.
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We decided to tie ourselves up
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with ropes
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to have the strength
to lower ourselves into that dark water
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full of piranhas and alligators.
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What we did was, during the day,
we would hide in the mangroves.
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And at night,
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we would leave, get in the water,
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and we would swim
and let the current carry us.
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That went on for several days.
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But Lucho
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became sick.
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He was diabetic,
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and he fell into a diabetic coma.
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So the guerrillas captured us.
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But after having lived
through that with Lucho,
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after having faced fear together, united,
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not punishment, not violence -- nothing --
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could ever again divide us.
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What's certain is,
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all the guerrillas' manipulation
was so damaging to us
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that even today,
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among some of the hostages
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from back then,
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tensions linger,
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passed down from all that poison
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that the guerrillas created.
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The third step
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is very important to me,
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and it's a gift
that I want to give to you.
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The third step is to learn
how to develop faith.
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I want to explain it like this:
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Jhon Frank Pinchao
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was a police officer
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who had been a hostage
for more than eight years.
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He was famous for being
the biggest scaredy-cat of us all.
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But Pincho -- I called him "Pincho" --
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Pincho decided that he wanted to escape.
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And he asked me to help him.
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By that point, I basically had
a master's degree in escape attempts.
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(Laughter)
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So
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we got started but we had a delay,
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because first, Pincho
had to learn how to swim.
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And we had to carry out
all these preparations in total secrecy.
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Anyway, when we finally
had everything ready,
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Pincho came up to me
one afternoon and said,
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"Ingrid, suppose I'm in the jungle,
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and I go around and around in circles,
and I can't find the way out.
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What do I do?"
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"Pincho,
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you grab a phone,
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and you call the man upstairs."
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"Ingrid, you know I don't believe in God."
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"God doesn't care. He'll still help you."
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(Applause)
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It rained all night that night.
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14:39
The following morning,
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the camp woke up to a big commotion,
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14:44
because Pincho had fled.
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They made us dismantle the camp,
and we started marching.
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During the march,
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the head guerrillas told us
that Pincho had died,
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14:56
and that they had found his remains
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15:00
eaten by an anaconda.
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Seventeen days passed --
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and believe me, I counted them,
because they were torture for me.
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But on the seventeenth day,
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the news exploded from the radio:
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Pincho was free and obviously alive.
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15:24
And this was the first thing he said:
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"I know my fellow hostages are listening.
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Ingrid,
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I did what you told me.
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I called the man upstairs,
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and he sent me the patrol
that rescued me from the jungle."
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That was an extraordinary moment,
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because ...
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obviously fear is contagious.
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But faith is, too.
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Faith isn't rational or emotional.
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Faith
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is an exercise of the will.
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It's the discipline of the will.
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It's what allows us to transform
everything that we are --
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our weaknesses, our frailties,
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into strength, into power.
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16:11
It's truly a transformation.
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It's what gives us the strength
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to stand up
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in the face of fear
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look above it,
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and see beyond it.
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I hope you remember that,
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because I know we all need
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to connect with that strength
we have inside of us
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for the times when there's a storm
raging around our boat.
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Many, many, many, many years passed
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16:49
before I could return to my house.
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16:56
But when they took us, handcuffed,
into the helicopter
289
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5029
17:01
that finally took us out of the jungle,
290
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2055
17:03
everything happened as quickly
as when they kidnapped me.
291
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3245
17:07
In an instant,
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1632
17:09
I saw the guerrilla commander at my feet,
293
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4023
17:13
gagged,
294
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1225
17:15
and the rescue leader,
295
1023746
2266
17:19
yelling:
296
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1164
17:21
"We're the Colombian army!
297
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3415
17:24
You are free!"
298
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2379
17:28
The shriek
299
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1538
17:30
that came out of all of us
300
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2072
17:32
when we regained our freedom,
301
1040896
1991
17:35
continues to vibrate in me to this day.
302
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4571
17:42
Now,
303
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1171
17:44
I know they can divide all of us,
304
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3207
17:47
they can manipulate us all with fear.
305
1055774
2417
17:52
The "No" vote on the peace
referendum in Colombia;
306
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4268
17:57
Brexit;
307
1065118
1769
17:58
the idea of a wall
between Mexico and the United States;
308
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3747
18:03
Islamic terrorism --
309
1071323
1682
18:05
they're all examples
of using fear politically
310
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4297
18:10
to divide and recruit us.
311
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2582
18:14
We all feel fear.
312
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2000
18:17
But we can all avoid being recruited
313
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3367
18:21
using the resources we have --
our principles, unity, faith.
314
1089434
5112
18:27
Yes, fear is part of the human condition,
315
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3608
18:31
as well as being necessary for survival.
316
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3279
18:35
But above all,
317
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1739
18:37
it's the guide by which each of us builds
318
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4756
18:42
our identity, our personality.
319
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3168
18:48
It's true, I was 41 years old
the first time I felt fear,
320
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6980
18:55
and feeling fear was not my decision.
321
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3580
19:00
But it was my decision
what to do with that fear.
322
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4692
19:07
You can survive
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3412
19:11
crawling along, fearful.
324
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2821
19:15
But you can also
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1480
19:18
rise above the fear,
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2535
19:20
rise up, spread your wings,
327
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2812
19:23
and soar, fly high, high, high, high,
until you reach the stars,
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4677
19:28
where all of us want to go.
329
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3026
19:33
Thank you.
330
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1152
19:34
(Applause)
331
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3808
Translated by Camille Martínez

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Ingrid Betancourt - Writer, peace advocate
Ingrid Betancourt was a presidential candidate in Colombia in 2002 when she was kidnapped by guerilla rebels. After six years in captivity and a high-profile rescue, she now writes about what she learned about fear, forgiveness and the divine.

Why you should listen

Born December 25, 1961, in Colombia, Ingrid Betancourt is a French-Colombian activist in the cause of freedom. She was a politician and presidential candidate in Colombia, celebrated for her determination to combat widespread corruption. In February 2002 she was taken hostage by the FARC, a communist guerrilla organization. For six and a half years, the FARC held her hostage in the Amazonian jungle. She was rescued on July 2, 2008.

Since her release, Betancourt has become a memoirist and fiction writer. Her first book, Even Silence Has Its End, which lyrically recounts her six years in the impenetrable jungle, was published in 2010. In 2016, she published a second work -- this time of fiction -- called The Blue Line, about the disappearances in Argentina during the Dirty War from 1976 to 1983. 

Betancourt has received multiple international awards, including the French National Order of the Légion d’Honneur, the Spanish Prince of Asturias Prize of Concord, the Italian Prize Grinzane Cavour, and was nominated to the Nobel Peace Prize for her commitment to democratic values, freedom and tolerance.

More profile about the speaker
Ingrid Betancourt | Speaker | TED.com