ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Julia Sweeney - Actor, comedian, playwright
Julia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith.

Why you should listen

Julia Sweeney is a writer, director, actress, comedian and monologist. She is known for being a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1990 to 1995, where she created and popularized the androgynous character, Pat. She is also well known for her comedic and dramatic monologues. God Said Ha! is a monologue about serious illness, her brother's lymphoma and her own cancer, and her family's crazy reactions to this crisis as they soldiered their way through struggle, confusion and death. This play was performed all over the U.S. and on Broadway at the Lyceum Theater. It was made into a film produced by Quentin Tarantino, and the comedy album from the show was nominated for a Grammy.

Sweeney's second monologue, In the Family Way, played in theatrical runs in New York and Los Angeles. It was ultimately fashioned into a book, a memoir titled If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother. Sweeney's third monologue, Letting Go of God, chronicled her journey from Catholicism to atheism. It was made into a film that played on Showtime.

More profile about the speaker
Julia Sweeney | Speaker | TED.com
TED2010

Julia Sweeney: It's time for "The Talk"

Julia Sweeney drži „Govor“

Filmed:
3,719,405 views

Unatoč svojim najvećim naporima, komičarka Julia Sweeney prisiljena je reći malu nevinu laž kada njena osmogodišnja kćerka počne učiti o reprodukciji žaba – i počne pitati veoma pametna pitanja.
- Actor, comedian, playwright
Julia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:15
I have a daughterkći, MulanMulan.
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Imam kćer, Mulan.
00:17
And when she was eightosam, last yeargodina,
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I kada je imala osam godina, prošle godine,
00:20
she was doing a reportizvješće for schoolškola
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radila je seminar za školu,
00:22
or she had some homeworkdomaća zadaća about frogsžabe.
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ili je imala domaću zadaću o žabama.
00:24
And we were at this restaurantrestoran,
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I bili smo u jednom restoranu,
00:26
and she said, "So, basicallyu osnovi,
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a ona je rekla, „Dakle, zapravo
00:28
frogsžabe laypoložiti eggsjaja
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žabe liježu jaja
00:30
and the eggsjaja turnskretanje into tadpolespunoglavci,
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i onda se jaja pretvore u punoglavce
00:32
and tadpolespunoglavci turnskretanje into frogsžabe."
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i punoglavci se pretvore u žabe.“
00:34
And I said, "Yeah. You know, I'm not really up on my frogžaba reproductionreprodukcija that much.
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I ja sam rekla, "Da, znaš, zapravo ne znam baš toliko mnogo o reprodukciji žaba.
00:37
It's the femalesženke, I think, that laypoložiti the eggsjaja,
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Mislim da ženke liježu jaja.
00:39
and then the malesmuškarci fertilizeoploditi them.
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A mužjaci ih oplode.
00:41
And then they becomepostati tadpolespunoglavci and frogsžabe."
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I onda postanu punoglavci i žabe.“
00:43
And she sayskaže, "What? Only the femalesženke have eggsjaja?"
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I onda je rekla, "Što? Samo ženke liježu jaja?“
00:45
And I said, "Yeah."
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Ja sam rekla, "Da.“
00:47
And she goeside, "And what's this fertilizinggnojidbu?"
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A ona je nastavila, "A što je ta oplodnja?“
00:49
So I kindljubazan of said, "Oh, it's this extraekstra ingredientsastojak,
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Pa sam ja nekako rekla, "Oh, to je jedan poseban sastojak,
00:51
you know, that you need
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znaš, koji je potreban
00:53
to createstvoriti a newnovi frogžaba
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da bi mama žaba
00:55
from the mommama and dadtata frogžaba." (LaughterSmijeh)
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i tata žaba napravili novu žabu.“
00:57
And she said, "Oh, so is that truepravi for humansljudi too?"
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A ona je rekla, "Oh, znači to vrijedi i za ljude?“
01:00
And I thought, "Okay, here we go."
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A ja sam pomislila, "Ok, evo ga.“
01:03
I didn't know it would happendogoditi se so quickbrz, at eightosam.
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Nisam znala da će se to dogoditi tako brzo, s osam godina.
01:05
I was tryingtežak to rememberzapamtiti all the guidebooksVodiči,
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Pokušavala sam se prisjetiti svih vodiča,
01:07
and all I could rememberzapamtiti was,
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a sve što mi je palo na pamet je bilo
01:09
"Only answerodgovor the questionpitanje they're askingtraži.
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"Samo odgovorite na pitanje koje su vam postavili.
01:11
Don't give any more informationinformacija." (LaughterSmijeh)
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Ne dajte im ništa više informacija.“
01:14
So I said, "Yes."
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Pa sam rekla, "Da.“
01:16
And she said, "And where do, umHm,
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A ona je rekla, "A gdje,
01:19
where do humanljudski womenžene,
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gdje ljudske žene,
01:21
like, where do womenžene laypoložiti theirnjihov eggsjaja?"
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gdje žene nose svoja jaja?“
01:23
And I said, "Well,
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A ja sam rekla, "Pa,
01:25
funnysmiješno you should askpitati. (LaughterSmijeh)
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baš smiješno što si pitala.
01:28
We have evolvedrazvio to have our ownvlastiti pondjezero.
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Evoluirali smo tako da imamo vlastito jezerce.
01:31
We have our very ownvlastiti pondjezero insideiznutra our bodiestjelesa.
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Imamo vlastito jezerce unutar našeg tijela.
01:34
And we laypoložiti our eggsjaja there,
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I tamo polažemo jaja.
01:36
we don't have to worrybrinuti about other eggsjaja or anything like that.
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Ne moramo brinuti o ostalim jajima ili tome slično.
01:39
It's our ownvlastiti pondjezero. And that's how it happensdogađa se."
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To je naše jezero. I tako ti se to dogodi."
01:42
And she goeside, "Then how do they get fertilizedoplođeno?"
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A ona upita, "A kako se onda ona oplode?“
01:44
And I said, "Well,
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A ja sam rekla, "Pa,
01:46
MenLjudi, throughkroz theirnjihov penispenis,
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muškarac kroz svoj penis
01:49
they fertilizeoploditi the eggsjaja by the spermsperme comingdolazak out.
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oplodi jaja pomoću sperme koja izlazi.
01:52
And you go throughkroz the woman'sženski vaginavagina."
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I ti izađeš kroz ženinu vaginu.“
01:55
And so we're just eatingjelo, and her jawčeljusti just dropsKapi,
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I kako smo baš bili jeli, njena usta su se raširila
01:57
and she goeside, "MomMama!
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i rekla je, "Mama!
01:59
Like, where you go to the bathroomkupaonica?"
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Hoćeš reći onuda kuda ideš piškiti?"
02:02
And I said, "I know.
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Rekla sam, "Znam.
02:04
I know."
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Znam.“
02:06
(LaughterSmijeh)
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(Smijeh)
02:12
That's how we evolvedrazvio. It does seemčiniti se oddneparan.
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Tako nastajemo. Malo se čini čudnim.
02:14
It is a little bitbit like havingima a wastegubljenje treatmentliječenje plantbiljka
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To je kao da imaš pročišćavanje otpadnih tvari
02:17
right nextSljedeći to an amusementzabavni parkpark ...
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pokraj zabravnog parka.
02:20
BadLoše zoningzoniranje, but ..." (LaughterSmijeh)
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Loše zoniranje. Ali ...
02:22
She's like, "What?" And she goeside, "But MomMama,
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Rekla je, "Što?“ I nastavila, "Ali mama,
02:25
but menmuškarci and womenžene can't ever see eachsvaki other nakedgo, MomMama.
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muškarci i žene se nikada ne smiju vidjeti dok su goli.
02:28
So how could that ever happendogoditi se?"
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Pa kako bi se to onda uopće moglo dogoditi?“
02:30
And then I go, "Well," and then I put my MargaretMargaret MeadMead hatšešir on.
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I onda sam na glavu stavila kapu Margaret Mead.
02:34
"HumanLjudski malesmuškarci and femalesženke
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"Muškarci i žene
02:36
developrazviti a specialposeban bondveza,
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razviju posebnu vezu
02:39
and when they're much olderstariji, much, much olderstariji than you,
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i kada su mnogo stariji, mnogo, mnogo stariji od tebe,
02:42
and they have a very specialposeban feelingosjećaj,
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razviju veoma poseban osjećaj
02:44
then they can be nakedgo togetherzajedno."
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i onda mogu skupa biti goli.“
02:46
And she said, "MomMama,
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I ona je rekla, "Mama,
02:48
have you doneučinio this before?"
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zar si ti to već radila?“
02:50
And I said, "Yes."
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Rekla sam, "Da."
02:53
And she said, "But MomMama, you can't have kidsdjeca."
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A ona je rekla, "Ali mama, ti ne možeš imati djecu."
02:55
Because she knowszna that I adoptedusvojen her and that I can't have kidsdjeca.
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Zato što zna da sam ju posvojila i da ne mogu imati djece.
02:57
And I said, "Yes."
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I onda sam rekla, "Da."
02:59
And she said, "Well, you don't have to do that again."
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A ona je rekla, "Pa onda to ne moraš ponovo raditi."
03:01
And I said, "..."
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A ja sam rekla, "..."
03:04
And then she said, "But how does it happendogoditi se when a man and womanžena are togetherzajedno?
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A ona je rekla, "Ali kako se to dogodi kada su muškarac i žena zajedno?
03:07
Like, how do they know that's the time?
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Mislim, kako znaju da je pravo vrijeme?
03:09
MomMama, does the man just say,
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Mama, da li muškarac samo kaže,
03:11
'Is now the time to take off my pantshlače?'"
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"Da li je sada vrijeme da skinem hlače?"
03:13
(LaughterSmijeh)
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(Smijeh)
03:15
And I said, "Yes."
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A ja sam rekla, "Da."
03:17
(LaughterSmijeh)
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(Smijeh)
03:19
"That is exactlytočno right.
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"Točno tako.
03:22
That's exactlytočno how it happensdogađa se."
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Točno tako se dogodi.“
03:24
So we're drivingvožnja home and she's looking out the windowprozor, and she goeside,
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I tako smo se vozili kući, a ona je gledala kroz prozor i rekla,
03:27
"MomMama. What if two just people saw eachsvaki other on the streetulica,
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"Mama, što kada bi se dvoje ljudi ugledalo na cesti,
03:29
like a man and a womanžena, they just startedpočeo doing it. Would that ever happendogoditi se?"
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muškarac i žena, i jednostavno to počeli raditi. Bi li se takvo što ikada dogodilo?“
03:32
And I said, "Oh, no. HumansLjudi are so privateprivatna.
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Rekla sam, "O, ne. Ljudi su jako tajnoviti.
03:35
Oh ..."
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O, ne.“
03:37
And then she goeside, "What if there was like a partystranka,
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A onda je nastavila, "A što da je bio recimo nekakav party.
03:39
and there was just like a wholečitav bunchmnogo of girlsdjevojke and a wholečitav bunchmnogo of boysdječaci,
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I tamo je hrpa cura i hrpa dječaka.
03:41
and there was a bunchmnogo of menmuškarci and womenžene and they just startedpočeo doing it, MomMama?
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I da je tamo hrpa muškaraca i hrpa žena i da su to jednostavno počeli raditi, mama?
03:44
Would that ever happendogoditi se?"
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Može li se to dogoditi?“
03:46
And I said, "Oh, no, no.
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Rekla sam, "O, ne, ne.
03:49
That's not how we do it."
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Ne radimo to tako.“
03:52
Then we got home and we see the catmačka. And she goeside,
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Onda smo došli kući i ugledali mačku, a ona je upitala,
03:54
"MomMama, how do catsmačke do it?"
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"Mama, kako to mačke rade?“
03:56
And I go, "Oh, it's the sameisti. It's basicallyu osnovi the sameisti."
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A ja sam rekla, "Pa, isto. Gotovo isto."
03:58
And then she got all caughtzatečen up in the legsnoge. "But how would the legsnoge go, MomMama?
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I onda se „uhvatila“ za noge. "Ali kako noge idu, mama.
04:00
I don't understandrazumjeti the legsnoge."
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Ne razumijem noge.“
04:02
She goeside, "MomMama, everyonesvatko can't do the splitsdijeli."
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Rekla je, "Mama, ne mogu svi napraviti špagu."
04:04
And I go, "I know, but the legsnoge ..."
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Rekla sam, "Znam, ali noge...,"
04:06
and I'm probablyvjerojatno like, "The legsnoge get workedradio out."
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mislim si, "Noge će se već snaći."
04:08
And she goeside, "But I just can't understandrazumjeti it."
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A ona kaže, "Ali ja to jednostavno ne mogu razumijeti."
04:09
So I go, "You know, why don't we go on the InternetInternet,
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Pa sam rekla, "Znaš, zašto ne bismo otišli na internet
04:11
and maybe we can see ... like on WikipediaWikipedia." (LaughterSmijeh)
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i recimo vidjeli ...“ na nekom mjestu poput Wikipedie.
04:15
So we go onlinena liniji, and we put in "catsmačke matingparenje."
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Pa smo otišli na internet i upisali "parenje mačaka."
04:17
And, unfortunatelynažalost, on YouTubeMladost, there's manymnogi catsmačke matingparenje videosvideo.
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I nažalost, na Youtube-u postoji mnogo videa s parenjem mačaka.
04:20
And we watchedgledao them and I'm so thankfulzahvalan,
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Pa smo ih pogledali, i tako sam zahvalna
04:22
because she's just like, "WowSjajna osoba! This is so amazingnevjerojatan."
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što je govorila, "Wow, ovo je tako nevjerojatno."
04:24
She goeside, "What about dogspsi?"
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Onda je pitala, "Što je s psima?"
04:27
So we put in dogspsi matingparenje, and,
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Pa smo upisali parenje pasa,
04:29
you know, we're watchinggledanje it, and she's totallypotpuno absorbedupijen.
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i znate, gledali smo, a ona je totalno upijala.
04:31
And then she goeside, "MomMama,
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A onda je upitala, "Mama,
04:33
do you think they would have, on the InternetInternet,
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misliš li da na internetu
04:36
any humansljudi matingparenje?"
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ima i ljudskog parenja?“
04:39
(LaughterSmijeh)
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(Smijeh)
04:41
And then I realizedshvatio that
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I onda sam shvatila da
04:43
I had takenpoduzete my little eightosam yeargodina old'sStari je handruka,
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sam uzela ruku svoje kćeri
04:45
and takenpoduzete her right into InternetInternet pornporno. (LaughterSmijeh)
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i odvela je ravno u svijet pornografije na internetu.
04:47
And I lookedgledao into this
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Pa sam pogledala u to
04:49
trustingpovjerljiv, lovingkoji voli facelice,
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povjerljivo, dražesno lice
04:51
and I said,
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i rekla,
04:53
"Oh, no.
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"O, ne.
04:55
That would never happendogoditi se."
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To se neće dogoditi.“
04:57
Thank you.
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Hvala vam.
04:59
(ApplausePljesak)
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(Pljesak)
05:01
Thank you.
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Hvala vam.
05:03
(ApplausePljesak)
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(Pljesak)
05:06
Thank you. I'm so happysretan to be here.
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Hvala vam. Tako sam sretna što sam ovdje.
Translated by Senzos Osijek
Reviewed by Tilen Pigac - EFZG

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Julia Sweeney - Actor, comedian, playwright
Julia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith.

Why you should listen

Julia Sweeney is a writer, director, actress, comedian and monologist. She is known for being a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1990 to 1995, where she created and popularized the androgynous character, Pat. She is also well known for her comedic and dramatic monologues. God Said Ha! is a monologue about serious illness, her brother's lymphoma and her own cancer, and her family's crazy reactions to this crisis as they soldiered their way through struggle, confusion and death. This play was performed all over the U.S. and on Broadway at the Lyceum Theater. It was made into a film produced by Quentin Tarantino, and the comedy album from the show was nominated for a Grammy.

Sweeney's second monologue, In the Family Way, played in theatrical runs in New York and Los Angeles. It was ultimately fashioned into a book, a memoir titled If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother. Sweeney's third monologue, Letting Go of God, chronicled her journey from Catholicism to atheism. It was made into a film that played on Showtime.

More profile about the speaker
Julia Sweeney | Speaker | TED.com