TEDxMtHood
Jia Jiang: What I learned from 100 days of rejection
Đija Đang (Jia Jiang): Šta sam naučio iz 100 dana odbijanja
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Đija Đang se odvažno upušta na teritoriju koje se mnogi od nas plaše: odbijanje. Tragajući za odbijanjem tokom 100 dana - od pitanja stranca da mu pozajmi 100 dolara do zahtevanja "dopune pljeskavice" u restoranu - Đang je otupeo na bol i stid koji često idu uz odbijanje, usput, otkrio je da prosto tražeći ono što želite može da vam otvori mogućnosti tamo gde biste očekivali ćorsokake.
Jia Jiang - Author, blogger, entrepreneur
Jia Jiang's journey through rejection revealed a world hidden in plain sight, where people are much kinder than we imagine. Full bio
Jia Jiang's journey through rejection revealed a world hidden in plain sight, where people are much kinder than we imagine. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
When I was six years old,
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Kada mi je bilo šest godina,
00:14
I received my gifts.
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dobio sam poklone.
00:16
My first grade teacher
had this brilliant idea.
had this brilliant idea.
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Moja učiteljica u prvom razredu
je imala sjajnu ideju.
je imala sjajnu ideju.
00:19
She wanted us to experience
receiving gifts
receiving gifts
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Želela je da iskusimo dobijanje poklona,
00:23
but also learning the virtue
of complimenting each other.
of complimenting each other.
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ali i da naučimo vrlinu
međusobnog pohvaljivanja.
međusobnog pohvaljivanja.
00:27
So she had all of us
come to the front of the classroom,
come to the front of the classroom,
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Pa nas je sve izvela ispred table
00:30
and she bought all of us gifts
and stacked them in the corner.
and stacked them in the corner.
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i svima nam je kupila pokolone
i nagomilala ih u jedan ugao.
i nagomilala ih u jedan ugao.
00:33
And she said,
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Rekla je:
00:34
"Why don't we just stand here
and compliment each other?
and compliment each other?
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"Hajde da svi stojimo ovde
i međusobno se poohvaljujemo?
i međusobno se poohvaljujemo?
00:37
If you hear your name called,
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Ako vas prozovu po imenu,
00:39
go and pick up your gift and sit down."
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otiđite, pokupite svoj poklon i sedite."
00:42
What a wonderful idea, right?
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Kakva divna ideja, zar ne?
00:44
What could go wrong?
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Šta je moglo poći po zlu?
00:46
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
00:48
Well, there were 40 of us to start with,
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Pa, na početku nas je bilo četrdesetoro
00:50
and every time I heard
someone's name called,
someone's name called,
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i svaki put kad bih čuo
da nekoga prozivaju,
da nekoga prozivaju,
00:53
I would give out the heartiest cheer.
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iz sveg srca bih ga bodrio.
00:55
And then there were 20 people left,
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A onda je preostalo 20 ljudi,
00:57
and 10 people left,
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pa 10 ljudi,
00:59
and five left ...
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pa pet...
01:01
and three left.
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i ostalo je troje.
01:03
And I was one of them.
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Ja sam bio jedan od njih.
01:04
And the compliments stopped.
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I komplimenti su prestali.
01:07
Well, at that moment, I was crying.
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Pa, u tom trenutku sam plakao.
01:10
And the teacher was freaking out.
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A učiteljica je bila u panici.
01:12
She was like, "Hey, would anyone
say anything nice about these people?"
say anything nice about these people?"
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Bila je u fazonu: "Hej, zar niko neće
da kaže nešto lepo o ovim ljudima?"
da kaže nešto lepo o ovim ljudima?"
01:16
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
01:17
"No one? OK, why don't you
go get your gift and sit down.
go get your gift and sit down.
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"Niko? U redu,
uzmite svoje poklone i sedite.
uzmite svoje poklone i sedite.
01:20
So behave next year --
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Budite dobri dogodine -
01:21
someone might say
something nice about you."
something nice about you."
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možda neko kaže nešto lepo o vama."
01:24
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
01:26
Well, as I'm describing this you,
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Pa, kako vam ovo opisujem,
01:28
you probably know
I remember this really well.
I remember this really well.
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verovatno razumete
da sam ovo dobro zapamtio.
da sam ovo dobro zapamtio.
01:30
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
01:32
But I don't know who felt worse that day.
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Međutim, ne znam
ko se tog dana osećao gore.
ko se tog dana osećao gore.
01:35
Was it me or the teacher?
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Ja ili učiteljica?
01:37
She must have realized
that she turned a team-building event
that she turned a team-building event
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Mora da je shvatila da je pretvorila
ekipni događaj nadogradnje
ekipni događaj nadogradnje
01:40
into a public roast
for three six-year-olds.
for three six-year-olds.
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u javno izrugivanje tri šestogodišnjaka.
01:43
And without the humor.
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I to bez humora.
01:45
You know, when you see
people get roasted on TV,
people get roasted on TV,
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Znate, kad vidite
kako se rugaju ljudima na TV-u,
kako se rugaju ljudima na TV-u,
01:47
it was funny.
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to je smešno.
01:48
There was nothing funny about that day.
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Ništa kod tog dana nije bilo smešno.
01:51
So that was one version of me,
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Pa, to je jedna verzija mene,
01:54
and I would die to avoid
being in that situation again --
being in that situation again --
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i ja bih umro da izbegnem
da se ponovo nađem u toj situaciji -
da se ponovo nađem u toj situaciji -
01:57
to get rejected in public again.
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da me ponovo javno odbiju.
02:00
That's one version.
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To je jedna verzija.
02:02
Then fast-forward eight years.
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Zatim ćemo premotati osam godina.
02:04
Bill Gates came to my hometown --
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Bil Gejts je došao u moj rodni grad -
02:06
Beijing, China --
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Peking u Kini -
02:07
to speak,
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da održi govor,
02:08
and I saw his message.
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i ja sam video njegovu poruku.
02:10
I fell in love with that guy.
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Zaljubio sam se u tog čoveka.
02:13
I thought, wow,
I know what I want to do now.
I know what I want to do now.
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Pomislio sam, aha,
sad znam čime želim da se bavim.
sad znam čime želim da se bavim.
02:15
That night I wrote a letter to my family
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Te noći sam napisao pismo svojima,
02:18
telling them: "By age 25,
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govoreći im: "Do 25. godine,
02:20
I will build the biggest
company in the world,
company in the world,
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sagradiću najveću firmu na svetu,
02:23
and that company will buy Microsoft."
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i ta firma će da kupi Majkrosoft."
02:25
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
02:26
I totally embraced this idea
of conquering the world --
of conquering the world --
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Potpuno sam prigrlio
ideju osvajanja sveta -
ideju osvajanja sveta -
02:29
domination, right?
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dominacije, je l' da?
02:31
And I didn't make this up,
I did write that letter.
I did write that letter.
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I ovo nisam izmislio,
napisao sam to pismo.
napisao sam to pismo.
02:34
And here it is --
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I evo ga -
02:35
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
02:37
You don't have to read this through --
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Ne morate da ga celog čitate -
02:39
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
02:41
This is also bad handwriting,
but I did highlight some key words.
but I did highlight some key words.
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Takođe je rukopis loš,
ali sam istakao neke ključne reči.
ali sam istakao neke ključne reči.
02:45
You get the idea.
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Kapirate o čemu se radi.
02:46
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
02:48
So ...
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Pa...
02:51
that was another version of me:
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to je još jedna verzija mene:
02:53
one who will conquer the world.
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ona koja će da osvoji svet.
02:55
Well, then two years later,
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Pa, dve godine kasnije,
02:57
I was presented with the opportunity
to come to the United States.
to come to the United States.
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pružila mi se prilika
da dođem u Sjedinjene Države.
da dođem u Sjedinjene Države.
03:01
I jumped on it,
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Jedva sam je dočekao
03:03
because that was
where Bill Gates lived, right?
where Bill Gates lived, right?
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jer tu živi Bil Gejts, je li tako?
03:05
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
03:06
I thought that was the start
of my entrepreneur journey.
of my entrepreneur journey.
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Mislio sam da je to početak
mog preduzetničkog putovanja.
mog preduzetničkog putovanja.
03:09
Then, fast-forward another 14 years.
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Potom, premotajmo narednih 14 godina.
03:11
I was 30.
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Bilo mi je 30 godina.
03:13
Nope, I didn't build that company.
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Ne, nisam sagradio tu firmu.
03:15
I didn't even start.
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Nisam čak ni počeo.
03:17
I was actually a marketing manager
for a Fortune 500 company.
for a Fortune 500 company.
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Zapravo sam bio marketinški menadžer
za firmu Fortune 500.
za firmu Fortune 500.
03:21
And I felt I was stuck;
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I osećao sam da sam u škripcu.
03:23
I was stagnant.
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Da stagniram.
03:25
Why is that?
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Zašto je tako?
03:26
Where is that 14-year-old
who wrote that letter?
who wrote that letter?
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Gde je 14-ogodišnjak
koji je napisao to pismo?
koji je napisao to pismo?
03:29
It's not because he didn't try.
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Nije da nije pokušao.
03:31
It's because every time I had a new idea,
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Radi se o tome da svaki put
kad bih imao novu ideju,
kad bih imao novu ideju,
svaki put kad bih želeo
da pokušam nešto novo,
da pokušam nešto novo,
03:34
every time I wanted to try something new,
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03:36
even at work --
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čak i na poslu -
03:37
I wanted to make a proposal,
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kad bih želeo da predložim,
03:39
I wanted to speak up
in front of people in a group --
in front of people in a group --
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kad bih želeo da govorim
pred grupom ljudi -
pred grupom ljudi -
03:43
I felt there was this constant battle
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osećao sam konstantnu borbu
03:45
between the 14-year-old
and the six-year-old.
and the six-year-old.
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između 14-ogodišnjaka i šestogodišnjaka.
03:47
One wanted to conquer the world --
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Jedan je želeo da osvoji svet -
03:50
make a difference --
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da bude značajan -
03:51
another was afraid of rejection.
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drugi se plašio odbijanja.
03:54
And every time that six-year-old won.
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I svaki put bi šestogodišnjak pobedio.
03:57
And this fear even persisted
after I started my own company.
after I started my own company.
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A ovaj strah je opstao čak i nakon što sam
osnovao sopstvenu firmu.
osnovao sopstvenu firmu.
04:01
I mean, I started
my own company when I was 30 --
my own company when I was 30 --
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Mislim, osnovao sam sopstvenu firmu
kad mi je bilo 30 godina -
kad mi je bilo 30 godina -
04:05
if you want to be Bill Gates,
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želite li da budete Bil Gejts,
04:06
you've got to start
sooner or later, right?
sooner or later, right?
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morate kad tad da počnete, zar ne?
04:09
When I was an entrepreneur,
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Dok sam bio preduzetnik,
04:11
I was presented
with an investment opportunity,
with an investment opportunity,
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ponuđena mi je investiciona prilika,
04:14
and then I was turned down.
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a potom sam odbijen.
04:17
And that rejection hurt me.
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A to odbijanje me je povredilo.
04:18
It hurt me so bad
that I wanted to quit right there.
that I wanted to quit right there.
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Toliko me je povredilo
da sam odmah poželeo da odustanem.
da sam odmah poželeo da odustanem.
04:23
But then I thought,
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Ali onda sam pomislio,
04:24
hey, would Bill Gates quit
after a simple investment rejection?
after a simple investment rejection?
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hej, da li bi Bil Gejts odustao
nakon prostog investiocionog odbijanja?
nakon prostog investiocionog odbijanja?
04:29
Would any successful
entrepreneur quit like that?
entrepreneur quit like that?
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Da li bi ijedan uspešan preduzetnik
odustao tek tako?
odustao tek tako?
04:31
No way.
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Nema šanse.
04:33
And this is where it clicked for me.
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I tu mi je kvrcnulo.
04:35
OK, I can build a better company.
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U redu, mogu da izgradim bolju firmu.
Mogu da napravim
bolju ekipu ili bolji proizvod,
bolju ekipu ili bolji proizvod,
04:37
I can build a better
team or better product,
team or better product,
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04:39
but one thing for sure:
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ali jedno je izvesno:
04:40
I've got to be a better leader.
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moram da budem bolji vođa.
04:42
I've got to be a better person.
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Moram da budem bolja osoba.
04:44
I cannot let that six-year-old
keep dictating my life anymore.
keep dictating my life anymore.
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Ne mogu da dozvoljavam šestogodišnjaku
da upravlja mojim životom.
da upravlja mojim životom.
04:48
I have to put him back in his place.
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Moram da ga stavim gde mu je mesto.
04:51
So this is where I went online
and looked for help.
and looked for help.
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Tad sam krenuo
da tražim pomoć na internetu.
da tražim pomoć na internetu.
04:53
Google was my friend.
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Gugl mi je bio prijatelj.
04:54
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
04:55
I searched, "How do I overcome
the fear of rejection?"
the fear of rejection?"
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Tražio sam: "Kako da prevaziđem
strah od odbijanja?"
strah od odbijanja?"
04:59
I came up with a bunch
of psychology articles
of psychology articles
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Naišao sam na gomilu psiholoških članaka
05:01
about where the fear
and pain are coming from.
and pain are coming from.
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o tome odakle strah i bol potiču.
05:04
Then I came up with a bunch
of "rah-rah" inspirational articles
of "rah-rah" inspirational articles
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Potom sam naišao na gomilu
"bla-bla" inspiracionih članaka
"bla-bla" inspiracionih članaka
05:08
about "Don't take it personally,
just overcome it."
just overcome it."
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u smislu: "Ne primaj to lično,
samo to prevaziđi."
samo to prevaziđi."
05:11
Who doesn't know that?
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Ko ne zna za to?
05:12
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
05:14
But why was I still so scared?
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Ali zašto me je i dalje bilo strah?
05:16
Then I found this website by luck.
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Onda sam slučajno otkrio ovaj vebsajt.
05:18
It's called rejectiontherapy.com.
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Zove se rejectiontherapy.com.
05:21
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
05:23
"Rejection Therapy" was this game
invented by this Canadian entrepreneur.
invented by this Canadian entrepreneur.
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"Terapija odbijanja" je igra
koju je smislio ovaj kanadski preduzetnik.
koju je smislio ovaj kanadski preduzetnik.
05:27
His name is Jason Comely.
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Zove se Džejson Komli.
05:29
And basically the idea is for 30 days
you go out and look for rejection,
you go out and look for rejection,
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I ideja je u suštini da 30 dana
tragate za odbijanjem
tragate za odbijanjem
05:34
and every day get rejected at something,
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i da vas svaki dan odbiju za nešto,
05:36
and then by the end,
you desensitize yourself from the pain.
you desensitize yourself from the pain.
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i tako do kraja igre
postanete bezosećajni za taj bol.
postanete bezosećajni za taj bol.
05:41
And I loved that idea.
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A ideja me je oduševila.
05:43
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
05:44
I said, "You know what?
I'm going to do this.
I'm going to do this.
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Rekao sam: "Znate šta? Uradiću to.
05:46
And I'll feel myself
getting rejected 100 days."
getting rejected 100 days."
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I iskusiću kako me odbijaju 100 dana."
05:49
And I came up with my own rejection ideas,
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Smislio sam sopstvene ideje za odbijanje
05:52
and I made a video blog out of it.
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i napravio sam video blog o tome.
05:55
And so here's what I did.
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A evo šta sam radio.
05:57
This is what the blog looked like.
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Evo kako je blog izgledao.
06:00
Day One ...
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Prvi dan...
06:02
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
06:03
Borrow 100 dollars from a stranger.
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Pozajmiti 100 dolara od stranca.
06:07
So this is where I went
to where I was working.
to where I was working.
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Dakle, ovde sam krenuo
sa mesta na kom sam radio.
sa mesta na kom sam radio.
06:10
I came downstairs
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Sišao sam niza stepenice
06:12
and I saw this big guy
sitting behind a desk.
sitting behind a desk.
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i video sam krupnog čoveka
kako sedi za stolom.
kako sedi za stolom.
06:14
He looked like a security guard.
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Izgledao je kao obezbeđenje.
06:16
So I just approached him.
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Pa sam mu prosto prišao.
06:17
And I was just walking
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I samo sam hodao
06:19
and that was the longest
walk of my life --
walk of my life --
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i to je bio najduži hod u mom životu -
06:22
hair on the back
of my neck standing up,
of my neck standing up,
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kosa mi se podigla na potiljku,
06:24
I was sweating and my heart was pounding.
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znojio sam se i srce mi je lupalo.
06:26
And I got there and said,
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I došao sam i upitao:
06:27
"Hey, sir, can I borrow
100 dollars from you?"
100 dollars from you?"
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"Hej, gospodine, mogu li od vas
da pozajmim 100 dolara?"
da pozajmim 100 dolara?"
06:30
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
06:31
And he looked up, he's like, "No."
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A on je podigao pogled, kao: "Ne".
06:34
"Why?"
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"Zašto?"
06:36
And I just said, "No? I'm sorry."
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A ja sam samo rekao: "Ne? Izvinjavam se."
06:38
Then I turned around,
and I just ran.
and I just ran.
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Potom sam se okrenuo i samo pobegao.
06:40
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
06:43
I felt so embarrassed.
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Tako me je bilo sramota.
06:44
But because I filmed myself --
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No, pošto sam se snimao -
06:46
so that night I was watching
myself getting rejected,
myself getting rejected,
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te noći sam gledao kako me odbijaju,
06:49
I just saw how scared I was.
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prosto sam video koliko me je bilo strah.
06:51
I looked like this kid
in "The Sixth Sense."
in "The Sixth Sense."
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Izgledao sam kao onaj klinac
iz "Šestog čula".
iz "Šestog čula".
06:54
I saw dead people.
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Video sam mrtve ljude.
06:55
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
06:57
But then I saw this guy.
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No onda sam pogledao tog čoveka.
06:58
You know, he wasn't that menacing.
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Znate, nije bio toliko strašan.
07:00
He was a chubby, loveable guy,
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Bio je ljupki bucko,
07:03
and he even asked me, "Why?"
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čak me je i upitao: "Zašto?"
07:06
In fact, he invited me to explain myself.
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Zapravo me je pozvao da se objasnim.
07:08
And I could've said many things.
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I mogao sam da kažem štošta.
07:10
I could've explained,
I could've negotiated.
I could've negotiated.
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Mogao sam da objasnim,
mogao sam da pregovaram.
mogao sam da pregovaram.
07:12
I didn't do any of that.
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Nisam uradio bilo šta od toga.
07:14
All I did was run.
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Samo sam pobegao.
07:17
I felt, wow, this is like
the microcosm of my life.
the microcosm of my life.
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Osetio sam, opa,
ovo je poput mog životnog mikrokosmosa.
ovo je poput mog životnog mikrokosmosa.
07:21
Every time I felt the slightest rejection,
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Svaki put kad bih osetio
i najmanje odbijanje,
i najmanje odbijanje,
07:23
I would just run as fast as I could.
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prosto bih pobegao što je brže moguće.
07:25
And you know what?
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I znate šta?
07:27
The next day, no matter what happens,
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Sledećeg dana, šta god da se desi,
07:28
I'm not going to run.
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neću da pobegnem.
07:30
I'll stay engaged.
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Ostaću pri svom.
07:32
Day Two: Request a "burger refill."
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Drugi dan: Zahtevati "dopunu pljeskavice".
07:34
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
07:36
It's when I went to a burger joint,
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Tada sam krenuo u restoran brze hrane,
07:38
I finished lunch,
and I went to the cashier and said,
and I went to the cashier and said,
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pojeo sam ručak, otišao do kasira i pitao:
"Ćao, možete li
da mi dopunite pljeskavicu?"
da mi dopunite pljeskavicu?"
07:41
"Hi, can I get a burger refill?"
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07:42
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
Bio je sav zbunjen,
u stilu: "Šta je dopuna pljeskavice?"
u stilu: "Šta je dopuna pljeskavice?"
07:44
He was all confused,
like, "What's a burger refill?"
like, "What's a burger refill?"
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07:47
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
07:48
I said, "Well, it's just like
a drink refill but with a burger."
a drink refill but with a burger."
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Rekao sam: "Pa, to je poput
dosipanja pića, ali s pljeskavicom."
dosipanja pića, ali s pljeskavicom."
07:52
And he said, "Sorry,
we don't do burger refill, man."
we don't do burger refill, man."
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A on je rekao: "Izvini,
ne dopunjavamo pljeskavice."
ne dopunjavamo pljeskavice."
07:54
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
07:56
So this is where rejection happened
and I could have run, but I stayed.
and I could have run, but I stayed.
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Dakle, ovde sam bio odbijen
i mogao sam da pobegnem, ali sam ostao.
i mogao sam da pobegnem, ali sam ostao.
08:00
I said, "Well, I love your burgers,
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Rekao sam: "Pa, volim vaše pljeskavice,
08:02
I love your joint,
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volim vaš restoran
08:03
and if you guys do a burger refill,
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i ako biste dopunjavali pljeskavice,
08:06
I will love you guys more."
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još više bih vas voleo."
08:07
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
08:08
And he said, "Well, OK,
I'll tell my manager about it,
I'll tell my manager about it,
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A on je rekao: "Pa, u redu,
reći ću menadžeru za to,
reći ću menadžeru za to,
08:11
and maybe we'll do it,
but sorry, we can't do this today."
but sorry, we can't do this today."
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možda ćemo to i da uradimo,
ali žao mi je, danas ne možemo."
ali žao mi je, danas ne možemo."
08:14
Then I left.
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Potom sam otišao.
08:15
And by the way,
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I, usput,
08:17
I don't think they've
ever done burger refill.
ever done burger refill.
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mislim da nikad nisu
dopunjavali pljeskavice.
dopunjavali pljeskavice.
08:19
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
08:21
I think they're still there.
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Mislim da i dalje postoje.
08:23
But the life and death feeling
I was feeling the first time
I was feeling the first time
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Ali osećanje života i smrti
koje sam osetio prvog puta
koje sam osetio prvog puta
08:26
was no longer there,
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više nije bilo prisutno,
08:27
just because I stayed engaged --
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samo zato što sam ostao pri svom -
08:29
because I didn't run.
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jer nisam pobegao.
08:31
I said, "Wow, great,
I'm already learning things.
I'm already learning things.
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Rekao sam: "Aha, sjajno, već učim ponešto.
08:34
Great."
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Sjajno."
08:35
And then Day Three:
Getting Olympic Doughnuts.
Getting Olympic Doughnuts.
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A onda treći dan:
nabaviti olimpijske krofne.
nabaviti olimpijske krofne.
08:38
This is where my life
was turned upside down.
was turned upside down.
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Tad se moj život preokrenuo.
08:42
I went to a Krispy Kreme.
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Otišao sam u Krispy Kreme.
08:43
It's a doughnut shop
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To je radnja s krofnama,
08:45
in mainly the Southeastern part
of the United States.
of the United States.
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uglavnom su u jugoistočnom delu
Sjedinjenih Država.
Sjedinjenih Država.
08:47
I'm sure they have some here, too.
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Siguran sam da imaju radnje i ovde.
08:49
And I went in,
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I ušao sam, rekavši:
"Možete li da mi napravite krofne
koje izgledaju kao olimpijski simboli?
koje izgledaju kao olimpijski simboli?
08:50
I said, "Can you make me doughnuts
that look like Olympic symbols?
that look like Olympic symbols?
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08:54
Basically, you interlink
five doughnuts together ... "
five doughnuts together ... "
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U suštini upletete pet krofni zajedno..."
08:56
I mean there's no way
they could say yes, right?
they could say yes, right?
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Mislim, nema šanse da bi pristali, zar ne?
08:59
The doughnut maker took me so seriously.
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Kuvarica krofni
me je baš ozbiljno shvatila.
me je baš ozbiljno shvatila.
09:02
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
09:03
So she put out paper,
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Pa je izvadila papir,
09:04
started jotting down
the colors and the rings,
the colors and the rings,
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počela je da pravi skicu boja i krugova,
09:06
and is like, "How can I make this?"
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i sva je u stilu: "Kako da ovo napravim?"
09:08
And then 15 minutes later,
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A onda, 15 minuta kasnije,
09:10
she came out with a box
that looked like Olympic rings.
that looked like Olympic rings.
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izašla je s kutijom koja je izgledala
poput olimpijskih krugova.
poput olimpijskih krugova.
09:14
And I was so touched.
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I bio sam toliko dirnut.
09:15
I just couldn't believe it.
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Prosto nisam mogao da verujem.
09:18
And that video got
over five million views on Youtube.
over five million views on Youtube.
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A taj snimak je imao
preko pet miliona pregleda na Jutjubu.
preko pet miliona pregleda na Jutjubu.
09:22
The world couldn't believe that either.
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Svet takođe nije mogao da veruje.
09:24
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
09:27
You know, because of that
I was in newspapers,
I was in newspapers,
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3216
Znate, zbog toga sam bio u novinama,
09:30
in talk shows, in everything.
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1416
tok šouovima, svuda.
09:32
And I became famous.
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Postao sam poznat.
09:33
A lot of people
started writing emails to me
started writing emails to me
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2136
Mnogo ljudi mi je pisalo mejlove
09:35
and saying, "What you're
doing is awesome."
doing is awesome."
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i govorili su: "To što radiš je sjajno."
09:38
But you know, fame and notoriety
did not do anything to me.
did not do anything to me.
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3536
Ali znate, slava i prepoznatljivost
me nisu dotakli.
me nisu dotakli.
09:42
What I really wanted to do was learn,
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1816
Ja sam zaista samo želeo da učim
09:43
and to change myself,
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i da se promenim.
09:45
so I turned the rest
of my 100 days of rejection
of my 100 days of rejection
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Pa sam pretvorio ostatak
mojih 100 dana odbijanja
mojih 100 dana odbijanja
09:47
into this playground --
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1896
u ovo igralište -
09:49
into this research project.
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2136
u ovaj istraživački projekat.
09:51
I wanted to see what I could learn.
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2080
Želeo sam da vidim šta mogu da naučim.
09:54
And then I learned a lot of things.
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1776
I onda sam naučio svašta.
09:56
I discovered so many secrets.
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1576
Otkrio sam toliko tajni.
09:57
For example, I found if I just don't run,
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2896
Na primer, otkrio sam
da samo ako ne pobegnem,
da samo ako ne pobegnem,
10:00
if I got rejected,
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1256
kad me odbiju,
10:01
I could actually turn a "no" into a "yes,"
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da mogu zapravo "ne" da pretvorim u "da",
10:04
and the magic word is, "why."
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a magična reč je: "Zašto".
10:05
So one day I went to a stranger's house,
I had this flower in my hand,
I had this flower in my hand,
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Pa sam jednog dana pošao do kuće stranca,
imao sam neki cvet u ruci,
imao sam neki cvet u ruci,
pokucao sam na vrata i pitao:
10:09
knocked on the door and said,
260
597680
1416
"Hej, mogu li da posadim ovaj cvet
u vaše dvorište?"
u vaše dvorište?"
10:11
"Hey, can I plant this flower
in your backyard?"
in your backyard?"
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2256
10:13
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
10:15
And he said, "No."
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1720
I on je rekao: "Ne."
10:17
But before he could leave I said,
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1736
No pre nego što je otišao, pitao sam:
10:19
"Hey, can I know why?"
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1936
"Hej, mogu li da znam zašto?"
10:21
And he said, "Well, I have this dog
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3056
A on je rekao: "Pa, imam psa
10:24
that would dig up
anything I put in the backyard.
anything I put in the backyard.
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2336
koji iskopa sve što posadim u dvorištu.
10:26
I don't want to waste your flower.
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1656
Ne želim da vam proćerdam cvet.
10:28
If you want to do this,
go across the street and talk to Connie.
go across the street and talk to Connie.
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3176
Ako želite to da uradite,
pođite preko puta i razgovarajte s Koni.
pođite preko puta i razgovarajte s Koni.
10:31
She loves flowers."
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1216
Ona voli cveće."
10:33
So that's what I did.
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1216
Pa sam to i uradio.
Pošao sam preko puta
i pokucao na Konina vrata.
i pokucao na Konina vrata.
10:34
I went across and knocked
on Connie's door.
on Connie's door.
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2056
10:36
And she was so happy to see me.
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1856
A njoj je bilo baš drago što me vidi.
10:38
(Laughter)
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1696
(Smeh)
10:39
And then half an hour later,
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1376
A onda je pola sata kasnije
10:41
there was this flower
in Connie's backyard.
in Connie's backyard.
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2056
ovaj cvet bio u Koninom dvorištu.
10:43
I'm sure it looks better now.
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1416
Sigurno danas lepše izgleda.
10:44
(Laughter)
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1296
(Smeh)
10:46
But had I left
after the initial rejection,
after the initial rejection,
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2936
Ali da sam otišao
nakon prvobitnog odbijanja,
nakon prvobitnog odbijanja,
10:49
I would've thought,
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637040
1216
pomislio bih,
10:50
well, it's because
the guy didn't trust me,
the guy didn't trust me,
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2056
pa, to je zato što mi čovek nije verovao,
10:52
it's because I was crazy,
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1216
to je zato što sam lud,
10:53
because I didn't dress up well,
I didn't look good.
I didn't look good.
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2416
jer se nisam dobro obukao,
nisam izgledao dobro.
nisam izgledao dobro.
10:56
It was none of those.
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1216
Nije bilo ništa od toga.
10:57
It was because what I offered
did not fit what he wanted.
did not fit what he wanted.
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2696
To je zato što moja ponuda
nije bila nešto što mu treba.
nije bila nešto što mu treba.
11:00
And he trusted me enough
to offer me a referral,
to offer me a referral,
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A verovao mi je dovoljno
da me uputi dalje,
da me uputi dalje,
11:02
using a sales term.
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1656
da koristim trgovački termin.
11:04
I converted a referral.
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1520
Preobratio sam uput.
11:06
Then one day --
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1216
Jednog dana -
11:07
and I also learned that I can
actually say certain things
actually say certain things
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2896
i takođe sam naučio
da mogu da kažem određene stvari
da mogu da kažem određene stvari
i da uvećam svoje šanse
za pozitivan odgovor.
za pozitivan odgovor.
11:10
and maximize my chance to get a yes.
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1936
11:12
So for example,
one day I went to a Starbucks,
one day I went to a Starbucks,
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2216
Na primer, jednog dana
sam otišao u Starbaks
sam otišao u Starbaks
11:15
and asked the manager,
"Hey, can I be a Starbucks greeter?"
"Hey, can I be a Starbucks greeter?"
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3576
i upitao menadžera: "Hej, mogu li
da budem Starbaksova hostesa?"
da budem Starbaksova hostesa?"
11:18
He was like, "What's a Starbucks greeter?"
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Bio je u fazonu:
"Šta je Starbaksova hostesa?"
"Šta je Starbaksova hostesa?"
11:21
I said, "Do you know
those Walmart greeters?
those Walmart greeters?
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2096
Rekao sam: "Znate one hostese u Volmartu?
11:23
You know, those people who say
'hi' to you before you walk in the store,
'hi' to you before you walk in the store,
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3416
Znate, oni ljudi koji vam kažu
"zdravo" pre ulaska u radnju,
"zdravo" pre ulaska u radnju,
11:26
and make sure you
don't steal stuff, basically?
don't steal stuff, basically?
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674480
2216
i u suštini se staraju
da ne kradete stvari?
da ne kradete stvari?
11:28
I want to give a Walmart experience
to Starbucks customers."
to Starbucks customers."
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3136
Želim Starbaksovim mušterijama
da pružim iskustvo iz Volmarta."
da pružim iskustvo iz Volmarta."
11:31
(Laughter)
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1456
(Smeh)
11:33
Well, I'm not sure
that's a good thing, actually --
that's a good thing, actually --
300
681360
3000
Pa, nisam siguran
da je to zapravo dobra ideja -
da je to zapravo dobra ideja -
11:37
Actually, I'm pretty sure
it's a bad thing.
it's a bad thing.
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2496
Zapravo, prilično sam siguran
da je to nešto loše.
da je to nešto loše.
11:40
And he was like, "Oh" --
302
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2056
I bio je u fazonu: "Ah" -
11:42
yeah, this is how he looked,
his name is Eric --
his name is Eric --
303
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2256
da, ovako je izgledao, zove se Erik -
a bio je u stilu, "Nisam siguran."
11:44
and he was like, "I'm not sure."
304
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1576
11:46
This is how he was hearing me. "Not sure."
305
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2056
Ovako me je čuo. "Nisam siguran."
11:48
Then I ask him, "Is that weird?"
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1656
Onda sam upitao: "Je li to čudno?"
11:49
He's like, "Yeah, it's really weird, man."
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2040
A on će: "Da, zaista je čudno, čoveče."
11:52
But as soon as he said that,
his whole demeanor changed.
his whole demeanor changed.
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Ali čim je to rekao,
celokupno ponašanje mu se promenilo.
celokupno ponašanje mu se promenilo.
11:55
It's as if he's putting
all the doubt on the floor.
all the doubt on the floor.
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2936
Kao da je sve sumnje odložio na pod.
11:58
And he said, "Yeah, you can do this,
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1736
I rekao je: "Da, možeš to da uradiš,
samo ne budi suviše čudan."
12:00
just don't get too weird."
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1256
12:01
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
12:03
So for the next hour
I was the Starbucks greeter.
I was the Starbucks greeter.
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Narednih sat vremena
sam bio Starbaksova hostesa.
sam bio Starbaksova hostesa.
Rekao sam "zdravo"
svakoj mušteriji koja je ušla
svakoj mušteriji koja je ušla
12:05
I said "hi" to every customer
that walked in,
that walked in,
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12:07
and gave them holiday cheers.
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i pružio im praznične pozdrave.
12:10
By the way, I don't know
what your career trajectory is,
what your career trajectory is,
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Usput, ne znam
kako vam se odvija karijera,
kako vam se odvija karijera,
nemojte da budete hostesa.
12:12
don't be a greeter.
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12:14
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
12:15
It was really boring.
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Bilo je zaista dosadno.
12:17
But then I found I could do this
because I mentioned, "Is that weird?"
because I mentioned, "Is that weird?"
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Ali sam tad otkrio da mogu ovo da uradim
jer sam pomenuo: "Da li je to čudno?"
jer sam pomenuo: "Da li je to čudno?"
12:22
I mentioned the doubt that he was having.
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Spomenuo sam sumnju koju je imao.
12:24
And because I mentioned, "Is that weird?",
that means I wasn't weird.
that means I wasn't weird.
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A zato što sam spomenuo: "Da li je to
čudno?" značilo je da nisam čudan.
čudno?" značilo je da nisam čudan.
12:27
That means I was actually
thinking just like him,
thinking just like him,
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Značilo je da zapravo mislim
baš što i on,
baš što i on,
12:30
seeing this as a weird thing.
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da uviđam kako je to nešto čudno.
12:32
And again, and again,
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I iznova i iznova,
12:34
I learned that if I mention
some doubt people might have
some doubt people might have
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naučio sam da ako pomenem
neku sumnju koju ljudi možda imaju
neku sumnju koju ljudi možda imaju
12:37
before I ask the question,
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pre nego postavim pitanje,
zadobiću njihovo poverenje.
12:39
I gained their trust.
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12:40
People were more likely to say yes to me.
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Ljudi su bili skloniji da mi kažu da.
12:42
And then I learned
I could fulfill my life dream ...
I could fulfill my life dream ...
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I onda sam shvatio
da mogu da ostvarim životni san...
da mogu da ostvarim životni san...
12:46
by asking.
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pitajući.
12:47
You know, I came
from four generations of teachers,
from four generations of teachers,
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Znate, potičem
iz četiri generacije nastavnika,
iz četiri generacije nastavnika,
12:50
and my grandma has always told me,
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i baka mi je uvek govorila:
12:53
"Hey Jia, you can do anything you want,
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"Hej, Đija, možeš da se baviš
čime god želiš,
čime god želiš,
12:55
but it'd be great
if you became a teacher."
if you became a teacher."
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ali bi bilo divno
kad bi postao nastavnik."
kad bi postao nastavnik."
12:58
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
12:59
But I wanted to be
an entrepreneur, so I didn't.
an entrepreneur, so I didn't.
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No, ja sam želeo
da budem preduzetnik, te nisam.
da budem preduzetnik, te nisam.
13:01
But it has always been my dream
to actually teach something.
to actually teach something.
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Ali mi je oduvek bio san
da nešto zapravo predajem.
da nešto zapravo predajem.
Pa sam rekao: "Šta ako bih prosto pitao
13:05
So I said, "What if I just ask
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13:07
and teach a college class?"
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da predajem čas na fakultetu?"
13:09
I lived in Austin at the time,
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Tada sam živeo u Ostinu,
13:11
so I went to University
of Texas at Austin,
of Texas at Austin,
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pa sam pošao
do Univerziteta Teksas u Ostinu
do Univerziteta Teksas u Ostinu
i pokucao sam na vrata profesoru i pitao:
"Mogu li da održim vaš čas?"
"Mogu li da održim vaš čas?"
13:13
and knocked on professors' doors
and said, "Can I teach your class?"
and said, "Can I teach your class?"
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13:16
I didn't get anywhere
the first couple of times.
the first couple of times.
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Nigde nisam stigao prvih nekoliko puta.
13:18
But because I didn't run --
I kept doing it --
I kept doing it --
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No kako nisam pobegao
- nastavio sam s tim -
- nastavio sam s tim -
13:21
and on the third try
the professor was very impressed.
the professor was very impressed.
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i trećeg puta profesor je bio
veoma impresioniran.
veoma impresioniran.
13:24
He was like, "No one
has done this before."
has done this before."
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Bio je u stilu: "Niko to pre nije uradio."
13:26
And I came in prepared
with powerpoints and my lesson.
with powerpoints and my lesson.
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A ja sam došao spreman sa prezentacijom
u Power point-u i lekcijom.
u Power point-u i lekcijom.
13:30
He said, "Wow, I can use this.
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Rekao je: "Opa, ovo bi mi bilo korisno.
13:33
Why don't you come back in two months?
I'll fit you in my curriculum."
I'll fit you in my curriculum."
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Dođi za dva meseca.
Ubaciću te u plan rada."
Ubaciću te u plan rada."
13:36
And two months later
I was teaching a class.
I was teaching a class.
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A dva meseca kasnije,
držao sam predavanje.
držao sam predavanje.
13:38
This is me -- you probably can't see,
this is a bad picture.
this is a bad picture.
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Ovo sam ja - verovatno ne možete
da vidite, ovo je loša slika.
da vidite, ovo je loša slika.
13:41
You know, sometimes you get
rejected by lighting, you know?
rejected by lighting, you know?
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Znate, nekad vas rasveta odbije.
13:44
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
13:46
But wow --
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Ali, alal vera -
13:48
when I finished teaching that class,
I walked out crying,
I walked out crying,
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kad sam završio predavanje,
izašao sam plačući
izašao sam plačući
13:50
because I thought
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jer sam pomislio
13:52
I could fulfill my life dream
just by simply asking.
just by simply asking.
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da sam mogao da ostvarim životni san
prosto pitajući.
prosto pitajući.
13:55
I used to think I have to accomplish
all these things --
all these things --
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Nekad sam mislio da moram
da postignem sve te stvari -
da postignem sve te stvari -
13:58
have to be a great entrepreneur,
or get a PhD to teach --
or get a PhD to teach --
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moram da budem sjajan preduzetnik,
ili da dobijem doktorat da bih predavao -
ili da dobijem doktorat da bih predavao -
14:02
but no, I just asked,
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ali ne, samo sam pitao
14:03
and I could teach.
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i mogao sam da predajem.
14:05
And in that picture --
which you can't see --
which you can't see --
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A na toj slici, to ne možete da vidite,
14:07
I quoted Martin Luther King Jr.
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citirao sam Martina Lutera Kinga mlađeg.
14:11
Why? Because in my research I found
that people who really change the world,
that people who really change the world,
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Zašto? Jer sam u svom istraživanju otkrio
da ljudi koji zaista menjaju svet,
da ljudi koji zaista menjaju svet,
14:15
who change the way we live
and the way we think,
and the way we think,
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koji menjaju način na koji živimo
i način na koji mislimo
i način na koji mislimo
14:18
are the people who were met
with initial and often violent rejections.
with initial and often violent rejections.
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su ljudi koji su u početku
dočekani sa često snažnim odbijanjem.
dočekani sa često snažnim odbijanjem.
14:22
People like Martin Luther King Jr.,
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Ljudi, poput Martina Lutera Kinga mlađeg,
14:24
like Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela,
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poput Mahatme Gandija, Nelsona Mandele,
14:27
or even Jesus Christ.
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pa čak i Isusa Hrista.
14:28
These people did not
let rejection define them.
let rejection define them.
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Ti ljudi nisu dopustili
da ih odbijanje definiše.
da ih odbijanje definiše.
14:31
They let their own reaction
after rejection define themselves.
after rejection define themselves.
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Dozvolili su sopstvenim reakcijama
nakon odbijanja da ih definišu.
nakon odbijanja da ih definišu.
14:37
And they embraced rejection.
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I prigrlili su odbijanje.
14:39
And we don't have to be those people
to learn about rejection,
to learn about rejection,
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I ne moramo da budemo ti ljudi
da bismo naučili o odbijanju,
da bismo naučili o odbijanju,
14:42
but in my case,
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a u mom slučaju,
14:43
rejection was my curse --
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odbijanje je bilo moja kletva,
14:46
was my boogeyman.
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moja babaroga.
14:47
It has bothered me my whole life
because I was running away from it.
because I was running away from it.
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Mučilo me je čitav moj život
jer sam bežao od njega.
jer sam bežao od njega.
14:51
Then I started embracing it.
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Onda sam počeo da ga prihvatam.
14:53
I turned that into
the biggest gift in my life.
the biggest gift in my life.
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Preokrenuo sam to
u najveći poklon u mom životu.
u najveći poklon u mom životu.
14:57
I started teaching people
how to turn rejections into opportunities.
how to turn rejections into opportunities.
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Počeo sam da podučavam ljude
kako da preobrate odbijanja u šanse.
kako da preobrate odbijanja u šanse.
15:01
I use my blog, I use my talk,
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Koristim svoj blog, koristim moj govor,
15:03
I use the book I just published,
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koristim knjigu koju sam upravo objavio
15:05
and I'm even using technology to help
people overcome their fear of rejection.
people overcome their fear of rejection.
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čak i pravim tehnologiju da pomognem
ljudima da prevaziđu strah od odbijanja.
ljudima da prevaziđu strah od odbijanja.
15:12
When you get rejected in life,
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Kada vas odbiju u životu,
15:14
when you are facing the next obstacle,
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kada ste suočeni s novom preprekom
15:16
or next failure,
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ili novim neuspehom,
15:18
consider the possibilities.
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razmotrite mogućnosti.
15:20
Don't run.
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Ne bežite.
15:21
If you just embrace them,
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Ako ih samo prigrlite,
15:22
they might become your gifts as well.
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mogle bi da postanu takođe vaši darovi.
15:25
Thank you.
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Hvala vam.
15:26
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Jia Jiang - Author, blogger, entrepreneurJia Jiang's journey through rejection revealed a world hidden in plain sight, where people are much kinder than we imagine.
Why you should listen
Jia Jiang is the owner of Rejection Therapy, a website that provides inspiration, knowledge and products for people to overcome their fear of rejection. He is also the CEO of Wuju Learning, a company that teaches people and trains organizations to become fearless through rejection training. In 2015, he authored a bestselling book, Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection.
Several years after Jiang began his career in the corporate world, he took a life-altering risk and stepped into the unknown world of entrepreneurship. His result was everyone's biggest fear: rejection. This was the catalyst that set Jiang on the path to his true calling.
To conquer the fear of rejection, Jiang embarked on a personal quest and started a blog, 100 Days of Rejection Therapy. His journey revealed a world that was hidden in plain sight -- a world where people are much kinder than we imagine. He discovered that rejection can be much less painful than we believe and that the fear of rejection is much more destructive than we know.
Jiang grew up in Beijing, China and migrated to the United States at age 16. He holds a Bachelor of Computer Science from Brigham Young University and a Master of Business Administration from Duke University.
Jia Jiang | Speaker | TED.com