ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Joshua Prager - Journalist
Joshua Prager’s journalism unravels historical secrets -- and his own.

Why you should listen

Joshua Prager writes for publications including Vanity Fair, The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal, where he was a senior writer for eight years. George Will has described his work as "exemplary journalistic sleuthing."

His new book, 100 Years, is a list of literary quotations on every age from birth to one hundred. Designed by Milton Glaser, the legendary graphic designer who created the I ♥ NY logo, the book moves year by year through the words of our most beloved authors, revealing the great sequence of life.

His first book, The Echoing Green, was a Washington Post Best Book of the Year. The New York Times Book Review called it “a revelation and a page turner, a group character study unequaled in baseball writing since Roger Kahn’s Boys of Summer some three decades ago.”

His second book, Half-Life, describes his recovery from a bus crash that broke his neck. Dr. Jerome Groopman, staff writer at the New Yorker magazine, called it “an extraordinary memoir, told with nuance and brimming with wisdom.

Joshua was a Nieman fellow at Harvard in 2011 and a Fulbright Distinguished Chair at Hebrew University in 2012. He was born in Eagle Butte, South Dakota, grew up in New Jersey, and lives in New York. He is writing a book about Roe v. Wade.

 

More profile about the speaker
Joshua Prager | Speaker | TED.com
TED2013

Joshua Prager: In search of the man who broke my neck

Joshua Prager: 寻找那个弄断了我脖子的人

Filmed:
1,498,218 views

19岁那年,一场毁灭性的公交车车祸造成Joshua Prager的偏瘫。20年后,他重返以色列,去寻找那个彻底改变了他一生的肇事司机。在讲述这个令人着迷的见面故事过程中,Prager以深刻的眼光探究了自然、教养、自欺以及命运等问题。
- Journalist
Joshua Prager’s journalism unravels historical secrets -- and his own. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:18
One year ago, I rented a car汽车 in Jerusalem耶路撒冷
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就在一年前,我在耶路撒冷租了一辆车
00:21
to go find a man I'd never met会见
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去寻找一个我从未谋面
00:23
but who had changed my life.
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但却改变了我一生的人
00:25
I didn't have a phone电话 number to call to say I was coming未来.
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我没有他的电话号码
00:28
I didn't have an exact精确 address地址,
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我也不知道他住在哪
00:31
but I knew知道 his name名称, Abed,
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但我知道他的名字,Abed
00:33
I knew知道 that he lived生活 in a town of 15,000, Kfar的Kfar Kara卡拉,
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我知道他住在一个有15,000居民的小镇——法卡拉
00:38
and I knew知道 that, 21 years年份 before, just outside this holy city,
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我还知道,21年前,就在圣城外
00:43
he broke打破 my neck颈部.
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是他弄断了我的脖子
00:45
And so, on an overcast灰蒙蒙 morning早上 in January一月, I headed当家 north
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因此,一月里一个阴沉沉的早上,我乘坐一辆银色雪弗兰,
00:49
off in a silver Chevy烦扰 to find a man and some peace和平.
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一路向北,去寻找那个人,去寻找内心的平静
00:54
The road dropped下降 and I exited退出 Jerusalem耶路撒冷.
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记得车祸那天,我正在离开耶路撒冷的路上
00:57
I then rounded the very bend弯曲 where his blue蓝色 truck卡车,
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突然我的车绕过一个急弯,这时,一辆蓝色卡车
00:59
heavy with four tons of floor地板 tiles瓷砖,
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载着四吨重的地砖
01:02
had borne得紧 down with great speed速度 onto the back left corner
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风驰电掣地冲着我的左后方就开过来了
01:04
of the minibus小巴 where I satSAT.
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风驰电掣地冲着我的左后方就开过来了
01:08
I was then 19 years年份 old.
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那年我才十九岁
01:10
I'd grown长大的 five inches英寸 and doneDONE some 20,000 pushups俯卧撑
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八个月就长高了五英寸,还做了大约两万个俯卧撑
01:14
in eight months个月, and the night before the crash紧急,
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就在车祸前的那个晚上
01:17
I delighted欣喜的 in my new body身体,
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我还对自己的体格洋洋得意
01:19
playing播放 basketball篮球 with friends朋友
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在五月,我跟朋友打篮球能一直打到半夜两三点钟
01:21
into the wee凌晨 hours小时 of a May可能 morning早上.
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在五月,我跟朋友打篮球能一直打到半夜两三点钟
01:23
I palmed伪称 the ball in my large right hand,
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我张开右手,一下就能把篮球稳稳抓住,
01:26
and when that hand reached到达 the rim轮缘, I felt invincible不可战胜的.
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上篮时我的手还能触到篮筐,我感到骄傲无比,无人能敌
01:30
I was off in the bus总线 to get the pizza比萨 I'd won韩元 on the court法庭.
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我坐公共汽车是要去取我在球场上赢到的匹萨
01:34
I didn't see Abed coming未来.
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我没看到Abed的车,
01:36
From my seat座位, I was looking up at a stone town
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当时我正坐在座位上,仰头看一个小山上石头建的小镇
01:39
on a hilltop山顶, bright in the noontime中午 sun太阳,
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小镇在正午阳光的照耀下闪闪发光
01:42
when from behind背后 there was a great bang,
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忽然,我身后砰的一声巨响
01:44
as loud and violent暴力 as a bomb炸弹.
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就像炸弹爆炸了一样
01:47
My head snapped抢购 back over my red seat座位.
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我的脑袋一下子撞到了身后的红色座椅
01:50
My eardrum鼓膜 blew自爆. My shoes flew off.
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我的鼓膜破了,我的鞋子飞了出去
01:53
I flew too, my head bobbing上下摆动 on broken破碎 bones骨头,
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我自己也飞了出去,骨头都碎了,脑袋没了支撑,摇摇晃晃的
01:56
and when I landed登陆, I was a quadriplegic四肢瘫痪.
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当我重重地摔到地上时,我的四肢都瘫痪了
02:00
Over the coming未来 months个月, I learned学到了 to breathe呼吸 on my own拥有,
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在接下来的几周里,我学着自己喘气,自己坐,自己站,自己走路
02:03
then to sit and to stand and to walk步行,
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在接下来的几周里,我学着自己喘气,自己坐,自己站,自己走路
02:06
but my body身体 was now divided分为 vertically垂直.
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但是我连站都站不起来
02:08
I was a hemiplegic偏瘫, and back home in New York纽约,
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我彻底瘫痪了,回到了纽约的家
02:12
I used a wheelchair轮椅 for four years年份, all through通过 college学院.
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大学四年,我一直在轮椅上度过
02:16
College学院 ended结束 and I returned to Jerusalem耶路撒冷 for a year.
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读完大学,我又回到耶路撒冷待了一年
02:20
There I rose玫瑰 from my chair椅子 for good,
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在那里我逐渐康复
02:23
I leaned凑近 on my cane甘蔗, and I looked看着 back,
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我依靠手杖能从轮椅上站起来
02:25
finding发现 all from my fellow同伴 passengers乘客 in the bus总线
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我回顾往事,试图寻找一切跟车祸有关的东西,
02:28
to photographs照片 of the crash紧急,
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包括那天与我同车的其他乘客以及关于那次车祸的照片
02:31
and when I saw this photograph照片,
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当我看到这张照片时
02:36
I didn't see a bloody血腥 and unmoving body身体.
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我没有看到一个血淋淋的,不能活动的身体
02:39
I saw the healthy健康 bulk of a left deltoid三角肌,
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我只看到了一块健康的左三角肌
02:43
and I mourned哀悼 that it was lost丢失,
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但我倍感痛心,因为它已经不存在了
02:45
mourned哀悼 all I had not yet然而 doneDONE,
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我更痛心我没有做一些
02:48
but was now impossible不可能.
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现在看来已经不可能做到的事
02:55
It was then I read the testimony见证 that Abed gave
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就在那时我看到了Abed提供的口供
02:58
the morning早上 after the crash紧急,
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提供时间是车祸第二天上午
03:00
of driving主动 down the right lane车道 of a highway高速公路 toward Jerusalem耶路撒冷.
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车祸地点是那条通往耶路撒冷的右边行车道
03:04
Reading his words, I welled油然而生 with anger愤怒.
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读完他的口供,我异常愤怒
03:07
It was the first time I'd felt anger愤怒 toward this man,
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这是我第一次对这个肇事者感到愤怒
03:10
and it came来了 from magical神奇 thinking思维.
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他的证词完全来自他的臆想
03:13
On this xeroxed复印的答案 piece of paper,
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证词是这么写的
03:15
the crash紧急 had not yet然而 happened发生.
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在车祸发生之前
03:19
Abed could still turn his wheel left
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Abed能理所当然地左转
03:21
so that I would see him whoosh by out my window窗口
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而我也应该能看到他从车窗前飞快地闪过
03:24
and I would remain whole整个.
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如果这样的话,我就可以毫发无损
03:27
"Be careful小心, Abed, look out. Slow down."
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“小心点,Abed, 小心。慢点开”
03:31
But Abed did not slow,
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但是他丝毫没有减速
03:33
and on that xeroxed复印的答案 piece of paper, my neck颈部 again broke打破,
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在那份证词上,我的脖子又一次断了
03:37
and again, I was left without anger愤怒.
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又一次,我毫不愤怒地离开了
03:41
I decided决定 to find Abed,
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我决定去找Abed
03:43
and when I finally最后 did,
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当我最终联系到他时
03:45
he responded回应 to my Hebrew希伯来语 hello你好 which哪一个 such这样 nonchalance冷淡,
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他对我这个犹太人毫不关心的打了声招呼
03:48
it seemed似乎 he'd他会 been awaiting等待 my phone电话 call.
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看起来他好像一直在等我的电话
03:51
And maybe he had.
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或许他就是在等我的电话
03:53
I didn't mention提到 to Abed his prior driving主动 record记录 --
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我没有提他以前的驾驶记录--
03:56
27 violations违规 by the age年龄 of 25,
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到25岁时已有27次违规
04:00
the last, his not shifting his truck卡车 into a low gear齿轮 on that May可能 day —
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最后那一次违规,他的卡车没有换挡减速,最终导致了那场发生在五月份的车祸
04:05
and I didn't mention提到 my prior record记录 --
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我也没有提我以前的痛苦遭遇:
04:07
the quadriplegia四肢瘫 and the catheters导管,
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四肢瘫痪、导尿管故障等等
04:08
the insecurity不安全 and the loss失利
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以及这些问题带给我的不安和损失
04:11
and when Abed went on about how hurt伤害 he was in the crash紧急,
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当Abed为他的伤势喋喋不休时
04:14
I didn't say that I knew知道 from the police警察 report报告
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我没有说我已经从警方的报告里知道
04:16
that he'd他会 escaped逃脱 serious严重 injury.
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他早已脱离生命危险
04:19
I said I wanted to meet遇到.
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我说我想见见他
04:22
Abed said that I should call back in a few少数 weeks,
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Abed让我过几周再跟他联系
04:25
and when I did, and a recording记录 told me
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可是当我再次打电话时,电话提示我
04:28
that his number was disconnected断开的,
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这个号码无法接通
04:30
I let Abed and the crash紧急 go.
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我只能让Abed和这场车祸随风而去
04:35
Many许多 years年份 passed通过.
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许多年过去了
04:37
I walked with my cane甘蔗 and my ankle brace支撑 and a backpack背包
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我依靠手杖,踝固定器和双肩包
04:41
on trips旅行 in six continents大陆.
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行走于六大洲
04:44
I pitched倾斜的 overhand上手 in a weekly每周 softball垒球 game游戏
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我在中央公园参加体育活动——每周一次的上手发垒球活动
04:47
that I started开始 in Central中央 Park公园,
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我在中央公园参加体育活动——每周一次的上手发垒球活动
04:50
and home in New York纽约, I became成为 a journalist记者 and an author作者,
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在纽约,我成为了一名记者和作家
04:53
typing打字 hundreds数以百计 of thousands数千 of words with one finger手指.
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用仅能动的一根手指敲出成百上千个字
04:57
A friend朋友 pointed out to me that all of my big stories故事
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一个朋友跟我说,我经历过的种种起伏
04:59
mirrored镜像 my own拥有, each centering定心 on a life
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是我自己的真实写照,每次经历都在一瞬间
05:02
that had changed in an instant瞬间,
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改变了我的生活
05:04
owing亏欠的, if not to a crash紧急, then to an inheritance遗产,
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因此,如果不是那场车祸,我就不是现在的我
05:07
a swing摇摆 of the bat蝙蝠, a click点击 of the shutter快门, an arrest逮捕.
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我不会去学棒球,去当记者,当作家
05:10
Each of us had a before and an after.
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没有过去就没有现在和未来。
05:14
I'd been working加工 through通过 my lot after all.
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我毕竟已经走出创伤
05:17
Still, Abed was far from my mind心神, when last year,
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我还是逐渐淡忘了Abed ,但就在去年
05:21
I returned to Israel以色列 to write of the crash紧急,
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我返回以色列去写一本有关这次车祸的书
05:24
and the book I then wrote, "Half-Life半衰期,"
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书名就叫《Half-Life》(《半生》)
05:27
was nearly几乎 complete完成 when I recognized认可
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当书快要写完,我发现
05:30
that I still wanted to meet遇到 Abed,
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我仍然想去见见Abed
05:32
and finally最后 I understood了解 why:
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我终于知道自己为什么这么“固执”:
05:35
to hear this man say two words: "I'm sorry."
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我只是想听这个人对我说三个字:“对不起”
05:40
People apologize道歉 for less.
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因为人们要为自己的过失道歉
05:43
And so I got a cop警察 to confirm确认 that Abed still lived生活
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因此,我找到了一名警察,确认Abed仍然在世
05:46
somewhere某处 in his same相同 town,
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还住在他原来住的地方
05:48
and I was now driving主动 to it with a potted盆栽 yellow黄色 rose玫瑰 in the back seat座位,
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于是,我开车去找他,还准备了一盆黄玫瑰放在车后座
05:51
when suddenly突然 flowers花卉 seemed似乎 a ridiculous荒谬 offering.
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我突然觉得这些花看起来似乎是一份很可笑的礼物
05:55
But what to get the man who broke打破 your fucking他妈的 neck颈部?
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但是,你要拿什么去见一个弄断你脖子的人?
05:59
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
06:03
I pulled into the town of Abu阿布 Ghosh戈什,
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我开到了Abu Ghosh镇
06:05
and bought a brick of Turkish土耳其 delight:
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买了一块土耳其软糖
06:07
pistachios开心果 glued胶合 in rosewater玫瑰香水. Better.
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和有玫瑰香味的开心果(伊拉克产的一种干果)。这比花要好。
06:11
Back on Highway高速公路 1, I envisioned设想 what awaited期待已久.
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回到1号高速公路,我想象会有什么事情在前方等待着我
06:15
Abed would hug拥抱 me. Abed would spit at me.
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Abed可能会拥抱我,Abed可能会朝我吐口水
06:19
Abed would say, "I'm sorry."
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Abed也可能会说,“对不起”
06:23
I then began开始 to wonder奇迹, as I had many许多 times before,
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我又开始设想,就像我以前想过很多次一样
06:26
how my life would have been different不同
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如果这个人没有伤到我
06:27
had this man not injured受伤 me,
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我的人生会有什么不同
06:29
had my genes基因 been fed美联储 a different不同 helping帮助 of experience经验.
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如果我有一次完全不同的经历
06:32
Who was I?
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我又会变成什么样子?
06:35
Was I who I had been before the crash紧急,
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在那条路上发生的一切,一下子把我的人生翻到了“下一页”,
06:37
before this road divided分为 my life like the spine脊柱 of an open打开 book?
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我还是那个没出事故前之前的我吗?
06:42
Was I what had been doneDONE to me?
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就因为经历的那些事,我才成了现在这样吗?
06:44
Were all of us the results结果 of things doneDONE to us, doneDONE for us,
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父母或者配偶的不忠、财产继承,
06:48
the infidelity不忠 of a parent or spouse伴侣,
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这些发生过的事情,
06:51
money inherited遗传?
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塑造了现在的我们吗?
06:53
Were we instead代替 our bodies身体, their inborn先天 endowments捐赠 and deficits赤字?
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或者,我们现在的样子是由自己的天赋和不足决定的?
06:57
It seemed似乎 that we could be nothing more than genes基因 and experience经验,
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我们似乎无法逾越遗传和经验的范围
07:00
but how to tease out the one from the other?
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但是如何将一个因素从另一个因素中梳理出来?
07:03
As Yeats叶芝 put that same相同 universal普遍 question,
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叶芝(爱尔兰诗人及剧作家)提过相同的问题
07:06
"O body身体 swayed动摇 to music音乐, o brightening增亮 glance一瞥,
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“随音乐摇曳的身体啊,灼亮的眼神
07:09
how can we know the dancer舞蹈家 from the dance舞蹈?"
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我们如何区分舞者和舞蹈?”
07:16
I'd been driving主动 for an hour小时
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我开了一小时的车
07:18
when I looked看着 in my rearview后视镜 mirror镜子 and saw my own拥有 brightening增亮 glance一瞥.
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当我看后视镜时,我看到了自己神采奕奕的眼神
07:22
The light my eyes眼睛 had carried携带的 for as long as they had been blue蓝色.
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我眼中的光彩就从出生的时候就存在了
07:25
The predispositions倾向 and impulses冲动 that had propelled推进的 me
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天性和冲动驱使了我
07:28
as a toddler幼儿 to try and slip over a boat into a Chicago芝加哥 lake,
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如同一个蹒跚学步的孩童尝试将一艘船推进一个芝加哥的湖
07:31
that had propelled推进的 me as a teen青少年
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驱使我像一个少年一样
07:33
to jump into wild野生 Cape Cod鳕鱼 Bay after a hurricane飓风.
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在飓风后跳进汹涌的鳕鱼角湾
07:37
But I also saw in my reflection反射
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但是我也思考过
07:40
that, had Abed not injured受伤 me,
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如果Abed没有伤害我
07:42
I would now, in all likelihood可能性, be a doctor医生
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现在的我很可能成为一名医生
07:45
and a husband丈夫 and a father父亲.
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一位丈夫,一位父亲
07:48
I would be less mindful铭记 of time and of death死亡,
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但我不会那么关注时间,关注死亡
07:51
and, oh, I would not be disabled,
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哦,当然,我也不会残疾
07:53
would not suffer遭受 the thousand slings吊索 and arrows箭头 of my fortune幸运.
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不会承受这不计其数的厄运
07:56
The frequent频繁 furl卷起之物 of five fingers手指, the chips芯片 in my teeth
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手指的频繁收拢
07:59
come from biting尖刻 at all the many许多 things
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吃什么都会塞牙缝
08:01
a solitary hand cannot不能 open打开.
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一只手无法伸展开
08:04
The dancer舞蹈家 and the dance舞蹈 were hopelessly绝望地 entwined缠绕.
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我的人生——舞者和舞蹈绝望地纠缠在了一起
08:09
It was approaching接近 11 when I exited退出 right
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当我驶出高速公路的出口,驶向阿芙拉,已经接近11点了
08:11
toward Afula阿富拉, and passed通过 a large quarry采石场
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我经过一个大的采石场
08:14
and was soon不久 in Kfar的Kfar Kara卡拉.
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不久,就到了法卡拉
08:16
I felt a pang of nerves神经.
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我感到一阵紧张
08:18
But Chopin肖邦 was on the radio无线电, seven beautiful美丽 mazurkas玛祖卡,
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收音机里正在播放肖邦的七首马祖卡舞曲
08:22
and I pulled into a lot by a gas加油站 station
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我驶进一个加油站
08:25
to listen and to calm冷静.
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因为我想停下来去听几首歌,让自己镇定下来
08:28
I'd been told that in an Arab阿拉伯 town,
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有人告诉过我,在阿拉伯的小镇里
08:30
one need only mention提到 the name名称 of a local本地
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你随便说一个当地人的名字
08:32
and it will be recognized认可.
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大家都知道他是谁
08:35
And I was mentioning Abed and myself,
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我说了Abed的名字,而我自己
08:37
noting注意 deliberately故意 that I was here in peace和平,
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平静的站在这里
08:39
to the people in this town,
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对小镇里的人来说并不是不速之客
08:41
when I met会见 Mohamed穆罕默德 outside a post岗位 office办公室 at noon中午.
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中午,我在邮局外遇到默罕默德
08:44
He listened听了 to me.
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他听了我的故事
08:47
You know, it was most often经常 when speaking请讲 to people
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要知道,经常在我向别人说我的经历时
08:50
that I wondered想知道 where I ended结束 and my disability失能 began开始,
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我才想知道我的人生是在哪里转变,我的残疾是从哪开始
08:54
for many许多 people told me what they told no one else其他.
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因为许多人也告诉乐我一些他们从未告诉过别人的事
08:56
Many许多 cried哭了.
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许多人哭了
08:59
And one day, after a woman女人 I met会见 on the street did the same相同
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有一天,我在街上遇到一个妇女,她听完后也哭了
09:01
and I later后来 asked her why,
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我问她为什么要哭
09:03
she told me that, best最好 she could tell, her tears眼泪
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她告诉我
09:05
had had something to do with my being存在 happy快乐 and strong强大,
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她被我的乐观和坚强打动,
09:09
but vulnerable弱势 too.
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也为人类身体的脆弱感到惋惜
09:11
I listened听了 to her words. I suppose假设 they were true真正.
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我听完了她的话。我认为大家说的都是真心话
09:14
I was me,
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我曾经是我
09:16
but I was now me despite尽管 a limp跛行,
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我现在也还是我,只不过变成了跛子
09:18
and that, I suppose假设, was what now made制作 me, me.
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即使那样,我期望知道到底是什么造就了我
09:22
Anyway无论如何, Mohamed穆罕默德 told me
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默罕默德告诉我一件
09:24
what perhaps也许 he would not have told another另一个 stranger陌生人.
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他可能不会告诉其他陌生人的事
09:27
He led me to a house of cream奶油 stucco灰泥, then drove开车 off.
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他把我领到一座奶油色的房子外,然后开车离开了
09:31
And as I satSAT contemplating考虑 what to say,
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我坐在车上,琢磨着该说点啥
09:33
a woman女人 approached接近 in a black黑色 shawl披肩 and black黑色 robe长袍.
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一个披着黑色披肩、穿着黑色长袍的女人向我走来
09:37
I stepped加强 from my car汽车 and said "Shalom沙洛姆,"
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我走下车,说“您好”
09:39
and identified确定 myself,
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然后介绍我自己
09:41
and she told me that her husband丈夫 Abed
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她告诉我她丈夫Abed
09:43
would be home from work in four hours小时.
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4小时后就会下班回家
09:46
Her Hebrew希伯来语 was not good, and she later后来 confessed供认不讳
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她的希伯来语不太好,后来她承认
09:48
that she thought that I had come to install安装 the Internet互联网.
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她以为我是来安装网络的
09:51
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
09:55
I drove开车 off and returned at 4:30,
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我开车离开,然后在4:30又去了
09:58
thankful感谢 to the minaret尖塔 up the road
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多亏路旁的尖塔
09:59
that helped帮助 me find my way back.
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帮我找到了来时的路
10:02
And as I approached接近 the front面前 door,
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当我走近Abed家的前门时
10:04
Abed saw me, my jeans牛仔裤 and flannel绒布 and cane甘蔗,
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Abed看到了我——穿着牛仔裤和法兰绒上衣,拄着手杖
10:07
and I saw Abed, an average-looking长相一般 man of average平均 size尺寸.
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我也看到了他,一个相貌普通、中等身材的男人
10:12
He wore穿着 black黑色 and white白色: slippers拖鞋 over socks袜子,
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他穿着黑白相间的上衣,套着袜子踩着拖鞋
10:15
pilling起球 sweatpants运动裤, a piebald sweater毛线衣,
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穿着起球的运动裤和黑白斑点的毛衣
10:17
a striped条纹 ski滑雪 cap pulled down to his forehead前额.
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一顶带条纹的滑雪帽遮住了他的额头
10:21
He'd他会 been expecting期待 me. Mohamed穆罕默德 had phoned打电话给.
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他一直在等我,默罕默德已经打电话通知他了
10:23
And so at once一旦, we shook震撼 hands, and smiled笑笑,
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所以,很自然地,我们俩伸手,握手,微笑
10:27
and I gave him my gift礼品,
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我交给他我带来的礼物
10:29
and he told me I was a guest客人 in his home,
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他对我说我是他尊贵的客人
10:31
and we satSAT beside one another另一个 on a fabric couch长椅.
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我们紧挨着坐在布沙发上
10:34
It was then that Abed resumed恢复 at once一旦
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这时,Abed继续讲起了
10:37
the tale故事 of woe荣辱与共 he had begun开始 over the phone电话
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16年前电话中没讲完的悲惨故事
10:39
16 years年份 before.
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16年前电话中没讲完的悲惨故事
10:42
He'd他会 just had surgery手术 on his eyes眼睛, he said.
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他说,他的眼睛那时刚做完手术
10:45
He had problems问题 with his side and his legs too,
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而且他一侧的身体和大腿也有毛病
10:47
and, oh, he'd他会 lost丢失 his teeth in the crash紧急.
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哦,对了,在那场车祸里他也失去了牙齿
10:50
Did I wish希望 to see him remove去掉 them?
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他问,你想不想看我摘掉的那些坏牙?
10:53
Abed then rose玫瑰 and turned转身 on the TV电视
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然后Abed站起来,打开电视机
10:55
so that I wouldn't不会 be alone单独 when he left the room房间,
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他认为那样的话,当他离开房间时我就不会感到孤单
10:58
and returned with polaroids拍立得 of the crash紧急
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当他回来的时候,手里拿着那次车祸的照片
11:00
and his old driver's司机 license执照.
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和他的旧驾照
11:03
"I was handsome英俊," he said.
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“我当时很帅” 他说
11:07
We looked看着 down at his laminated层压 mug.
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我们低头看他的叠层杯上的照片
11:09
Abed had been less handsome英俊 than substantial大量的,
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Abed并没有他自己说的那么帅
11:12
with thick black黑色 hair头发 and a full充分 face面对 and a wide neck颈部.
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照片上是一个浓密黑发、圆脸、宽下巴的年轻人
11:16
It was this youth青年 who on May可能 16, 1990,
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就是这个年轻人,在1990年5月16日,
11:19
had broken破碎 two necks脖子 including包含 mine,
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弄断了包括我在内的两个人的脖子
11:21
and bruised伤痕累累 one brain and taken采取 one life.
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挫伤了一个人的大脑,夺去了一个人的生命
11:25
Twenty-one二十一 years年份 later后来, he was now thinner更薄 than his wife妻子,
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21年后,他比他的妻子还要瘦
11:27
his skin皮肤 slack松弛 on his face面对,
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他脸上皮肤松弛
11:29
and looking at Abed looking at his young年轻 self,
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看看现在的Abed, 再看看年轻时的他
11:32
I remembered记得 looking at that photograph照片 of my young年轻 self
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我想起了车祸后看我自己年轻时的照片
11:34
after the crash紧急, and recognized认可 his longing渴望.
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我看出了他的想法
11:38
"The crash紧急 changed both of our lives生活," I said.
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我说 "车祸改变我们的生活”
11:43
Abed then showed显示 me a picture图片 of his mashed捣碎 truck卡车,
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Abed又给我看了一张照片,是他那辆撞得破烂的卡车
11:45
and said that the crash紧急 was the fault故障 of a bus总线 driver司机
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他说,车祸全是那个公交车司机的错
11:48
in the left lane车道 who did not let him pass通过.
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那个司机在左车道上没有给他让路
11:51
I did not want to recap概括 the crash紧急 with Abed.
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我不想对Abed重述那次车祸
11:54
I'd hoped希望 for something simpler简单:
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我来的目的很简单:
11:56
to exchange交换 a Turkish土耳其 dessert甜点 for two words and be on my way.
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用那块土耳其糖换来三个字,然后立刻走人
12:00
And so I didn't point out that in his own拥有 testimony见证
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所以,我没有提到车祸第二天早上他提供的证词
12:03
the morning早上 after the crash紧急,
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所以,我没有提到车祸第二天早上他提供的证词
12:05
Abed did not even mention提到 the bus总线 driver司机.
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Abed甚至没有提到那个公交车司机
12:07
No, I was quiet安静. I was quiet安静 because I had not come for truth真相.
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但是,我很平静,我平静是因为我不是为真相而来
12:11
I had come for remorse悔恨.
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我是为他的自责而来
12:14
And so I now went looking for remorse悔恨
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所以,我将事实真相抛开
12:16
and threw truth真相 under the bus总线.
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只希望听到他的自责
12:18
"I understand理解," I said, "that the crash紧急 was not your fault故障,
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“我知道,” 我说,“那场车祸绝不是你的错,
12:21
but does it make you sad伤心 that others其他 suffered遭遇?"
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但是你为自己让别人受伤而难受过吗?"
12:26
Abed spoke three quick words.
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Abed很快地说出几个字
12:28
"Yes, I suffered遭遇."
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“是的,我很难受。”
12:32
Abed then told me why he'd他会 suffered遭遇.
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Abed然后告诉我他为什么难受
12:35
He'd他会 lived生活 an unholy邪恶 life before the crash紧急,
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车祸前他一直过着没有信仰的罪恶的生活
12:38
and so God had ordained受戒 the crash紧急,
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所以上帝降下了这次车祸
12:40
but now, he said, he was religious宗教, and God was pleased满意.
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但是现在,他说,他信仰宗教,上帝很高兴
12:44
It was then that God intervened干预:
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就在谈话时,上帝“介入”了
12:47
news新闻 on the TV电视 of a car汽车 wreck破坏 that hours小时 before
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就在这时,电视新闻播报几小时前的一场车祸中
12:50
had killed杀害 three people up north.
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三个向北行驶的人死了
12:53
We looked看着 up at the wreckage残骸.
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我们看着汽车残骸
12:55
"Strange奇怪," I said.
256
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“很奇怪,” 我说
12:58
"Strange奇怪," he agreed同意.
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“是的,很奇怪” 他随声附和
13:01
I had the thought that there, on Route路线 804,
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我有一个想法,那里,就在804号路上
13:04
there were perpetrators肇事者 and victims受害者,
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那里有肇事者和受害者
13:06
dyads二人组合 bound by a crash紧急.
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他们因为车祸联系到了一起
13:08
Some, as had Abed, would forget忘记 the date日期.
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一些人,比如Abed,可能忘了车祸的具体日期
13:10
Some, as had I, would remember记得.
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另一些人,比如我,却牢牢记得
13:13
The report报告 finished and Abed spoke.
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播报完了,Abed开口说话
13:16
"It is a pity可怜," he said, "that the police警察
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“很遗憾” ,他说
13:19
in this country国家 are not tough强硬 enough足够 on bad drivers司机."
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“这个国家的警察对差劲的司机不够严厉。”
13:24
I was baffled困惑.
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我很困惑
13:27
Abed had said something remarkable卓越.
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Abed说了些有道理的话
13:29
Did it point up the degree to which哪一个 he'd他会 absolved免除 himself他自己 of the crash紧急?
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这样就能为他开脱车祸肇事的责任吗?
13:33
Was it evidence证据 of guilt有罪, an assertion断言
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那是他内疚的表现吗?
13:35
that he should have been put away longer?
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他认为他的确罪不可赦,该被多关几年?
13:37
He'd他会 served提供服务 six months个月 in prison监狱, lost丢失 his truck卡车 license执照 for a decade.
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他在监狱里呆了6个月,十年里不得开卡车
13:41
I forgot忘记 my discretion慎重.
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我忘记了我来时的谨慎
13:43
"Um, Abed," I said,
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“嗯,Abed” ,我说
13:46
"I thought you had a few少数 driving主动 issues问题 before the crash紧急."
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“我想,在车祸前你就已经有一些驾驶问题了”
13:50
"Well," he said, "I once一旦 went 60 in a 40."
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“是的,” 他承认,“我有一次在限速40英里的路上加速到60英里”
13:54
And so 27 violations违规 --
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那27次违章——
13:58
driving主动 through通过 a red light, driving主动 at excessive过多 speed速度,
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包括闯红灯、超速、
14:01
driving主动 on the wrong错误 side of a barrier屏障,
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逆行,
14:03
and finally最后, riding骑术 his brakes刹车 down that hill爬坡道 --
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最后,踩着刹车冲下山
14:05
reduced减少 to one.
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26次违章驾驶,说没有就没有了。
14:07
And it was then I understood了解 that no matter how stark与之形成鲜明 the reality现实,
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我终于意识到,无论事实多么明显
14:10
the human人的 being存在 fits适合 it into a narrative叙述 that is palatable可口.
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那个人都会把残酷的事实说成有趣的故事
14:14
The goat山羊 becomes the hero英雄. The perpetrator肇事者 becomes the victim受害者.
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懦夫成了英雄,犯罪的人反而成了受害者
14:18
It was then I understood了解 that Abed would never apologize道歉.
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就在那时,我意识到Abed永远不会道歉
14:24
Abed and I satSAT with our coffee咖啡.
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Abed和我坐在一起,喝着咖啡
14:28
We'd星期三 spent花费 90 minutes分钟 together一起,
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我们在一起待了一个半小时
14:30
and he was now known已知 to me.
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我现在知道他的为人了
14:33
He was not a particularly尤其 bad man
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算不上恶贯满盈
14:35
or a particularly尤其 good man.
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当然也绝非善类
14:37
He was a limited有限 man
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他是一个有缺点的人
14:40
who'd谁愿意 found发现 it within himself他自己 to be kind to me.
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自己觉得对我还算是和气
14:43
With a nod点头 to Jewish犹太 custom习惯,
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他朝我行了一个犹太礼节的点头礼
14:44
he told me that I should live生活 to be 120 years年份 old.
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还祝愿我能活到120岁
14:48
But it was hard for me to relate涉及 to one who had
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但是,我恐怕没法跟这么一个说洗手不干就能把自己的罪过一笔勾销的家伙扯上交情
14:50
so completely全然 washed his hands of his own拥有 calamitous灾难性的 doing,
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但是,我恐怕没法跟这么一个说洗手不干就能把自己的罪过一笔勾销的家伙扯上交情
14:53
to one whose谁的 life was so unexamined浑浑噩噩 that he said
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他浑浑噩噩的
14:58
he thought two people had died死亡 in the crash紧急.
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竟然以为那场车祸的结果就是“有两个人死了”
15:05
There was much I wished希望 to say to Abed.
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我有很多话想对Abed说
15:08
I wished希望 to tell him that, were he to acknowledge确认 my disability失能,
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我想问他,他是否知道车祸后我残疾了
15:12
it would be okay,
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当人们对那些像我一样,
15:14
for people are wrong错误 to marvel奇迹
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虽然跛行却面带微笑的人感到惊奇时
15:16
at those like me who smile微笑 as we limp跛行.
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他们是不对的。但那不算什么。
15:19
People don't know that they have lived生活 through通过 worse更差,
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因为他们不知道我们已经历经困难
15:23
that problems问题 of the heart hit击中 with a force greater更大 than a runaway逃跑 truck卡车,
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我们内心遭受的打击带来的问题远比一辆失控的卡车严重得多
15:27
that problems问题 of the mind心神 are greater更大 still,
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我们思想上的问题也要比弄断一百个脖子带来的问题更严重
15:29
more injurious, than a hundred broken破碎 necks脖子.
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我们思想上的问题也要比弄断一百个脖子带来的问题更严重
15:33
I wished希望 to tell him that what makes品牌 most of us who we are
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我想告诉他是什么造就我们
15:36
most of all
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真正造就我们的,
15:38
is not our minds头脑 and not our bodies身体
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不是我们的思想或者身体
15:40
and not what happens发生 to us,
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也不是发生在我们身上的事情
15:42
but how we respond响应 to what happens发生 to us.
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而是我们对待这些事情的态度
15:45
"This," wrote the psychiatrist心理医生 Viktor Frankl弗兰克尔,
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精神病学家维克多·弗兰克曾写道
15:47
"is the last of the human人的 freedoms自由:
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“在任何给定的情况下选择自己的态度
15:49
to choose选择 one's那些 attitude态度 in any given特定 set of circumstances情况."
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这是人类最后的自由。”
15:54
I wished希望 to tell him that not only paralyzersparalyzers
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我想告诉他,不仅是瘫痪的人和“让别人瘫痪的人”
15:57
and paralyzeesparalyzees must必须 evolve发展, reconcile调和 to reality现实,
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要共同进步,甘心接受事实
16:01
but we all must必须 --
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我们所有的人都要接受现实
16:03
the aging老化 and the anxious and the divorced离婚 and the balding秃头
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接受衰老、忧虑、离婚、秃头
16:07
and the bankrupt破产者 and everyone大家.
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还有破产等等。每个人都要做到
16:11
I wished希望 to tell him that one does not have to say
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我希望告诉他,人不要总说
16:14
that a bad thing is good,
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坏事很好
16:16
that a crash紧急 is from God and so a crash紧急 is good,
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车祸是上帝带来的,所以车祸是好的
16:19
a broken破碎 neck颈部 is good.
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断了脖子是好的
16:20
One can say that a bad thing sucks,
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一个人可以说一件坏事令人讨厌
16:23
but that this natural自然 world世界 still has many许多 glories辉煌.
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但世上还有许多可以值得我骄傲的事
16:28
I wished希望 to tell him that, in the end结束, our mandate要求 is clear明确:
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到最后,我希望告诉他 ,我们要做的事很简单
16:33
We have to rise上升 above以上 bad fortune幸运.
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我们要从厄运中走出来
16:36
We have to be in the good and enjoy请享用 the good,
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我们要保持好的状态并且享受这种状态
16:39
study研究 and work and adventure冒险 and friendship友谊 -- oh, friendship友谊 --
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学习,工作,冒险和交朋友——哦——友谊
16:45
and community社区 and love.
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集体和爱
16:49
But most of all, I wished希望 to tell him
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但最重要的是,我想告诉Abed
16:51
what Herman赫尔曼 Melville梅尔维尔 wrote,
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赫尔曼·麦尔维尔(美国作家)的一句话
16:54
that "truly to enjoy请享用 bodily身体 warmth热情,
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“正因为身体的某些部分感觉寒冷
16:57
some small part部分 of you must必须 be cold,
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才能真正享受身体所受到的温暖
17:00
for there is no quality质量 in this world世界
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因为在这个世界上,
17:02
that is not what it is merely仅仅 by contrast对比."
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有比较才有认识
17:05
Yes, contrast对比.
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是的,比较
17:08
If you are mindful铭记 of what you do not have,
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如果你介意你没有的东西
17:10
you may可能 be truly mindful铭记 of what you do have,
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你可能也会介意你已经拥有了的
17:13
and if the gods are kind, you may可能 truly enjoy请享用 what you have.
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如果上帝是仁慈的,你可能会真正享受你拥有的
17:17
That is the one singular单数 gift礼品 you may可能 receive接收
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不管你正遭受着何种苦难
17:20
if you suffer遭受 in any existential存在 way.
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这都是一份你会获得的小礼物
17:23
You know death死亡, and so may可能 wake唤醒 each morning早上
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你知道死亡,所以可以每天早上醒来
17:25
pulsing脉动 with ready准备 life.
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还具有生命般的脉动
17:27
Some part部分 of you is cold,
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当你的身体某些部分感到寒冷
17:28
and so another另一个 part部分 may可能 truly enjoy请享用 what it is to be warm,
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另外的一些部分才能真正感受到什么是温暖
17:32
or even to be cold.
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或者什么是更寒冷
17:35
When one morning早上, years年份 after the crash紧急,
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车祸后的很多年的一天早上,天正下着雪,
17:37
I stepped加强 onto stone and the underside下侧 of my left foot脚丫子
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我漫步在石子路上,我的左脚底
17:40
felt the flash of cold, nerves神经 at last awake苏醒,
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终于恢复了知觉,感受到了一丝寒冷、紧张
17:43
it was exhilarating令人振奋, a gust阵风 of snow.
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那真是令人愉悦的一阵雪
17:48
But I didn't say these things to Abed.
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但是我不想把这些说给Abed听
17:52
I told him only that he had killed杀害 one man, not two.
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我只是告诉他,他杀死的是一个人,不是两个
17:56
I told him the name名称 of that man.
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我还告诉他那个人的名字
18:01
And then I said, "Goodbye再见."
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然后,我说 “再见”
18:05
Thank you.
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谢谢
18:07
(Applause掌声)
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(掌声)
18:13
Thanks谢谢 a lot.
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多谢
18:16
(Applause掌声)
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(掌声)
Translated by yl huang
Reviewed by Zhao Yini

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Joshua Prager - Journalist
Joshua Prager’s journalism unravels historical secrets -- and his own.

Why you should listen

Joshua Prager writes for publications including Vanity Fair, The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal, where he was a senior writer for eight years. George Will has described his work as "exemplary journalistic sleuthing."

His new book, 100 Years, is a list of literary quotations on every age from birth to one hundred. Designed by Milton Glaser, the legendary graphic designer who created the I ♥ NY logo, the book moves year by year through the words of our most beloved authors, revealing the great sequence of life.

His first book, The Echoing Green, was a Washington Post Best Book of the Year. The New York Times Book Review called it “a revelation and a page turner, a group character study unequaled in baseball writing since Roger Kahn’s Boys of Summer some three decades ago.”

His second book, Half-Life, describes his recovery from a bus crash that broke his neck. Dr. Jerome Groopman, staff writer at the New Yorker magazine, called it “an extraordinary memoir, told with nuance and brimming with wisdom.

Joshua was a Nieman fellow at Harvard in 2011 and a Fulbright Distinguished Chair at Hebrew University in 2012. He was born in Eagle Butte, South Dakota, grew up in New Jersey, and lives in New York. He is writing a book about Roe v. Wade.

 

More profile about the speaker
Joshua Prager | Speaker | TED.com