ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Andrew Solomon - Writer
Andrew Solomon writes about politics, culture and psychology.

Why you should listen

Andrew Solomon is a writer, lecturer and Professor of Clinical Psychology at Columbia University. He is president of PEN American Center. He writes regularly for The New Yorker and the New York Times.

Solomon's newest book, Far and Away: Reporting from the Brink of Change, Seven Continents, Twenty-Five Years was published in April, 2016. His previous book, Far From the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity won the National Book Critics Circle award for nonfiction, the Wellcome Prize and 22 other national awards. It tells the stories of parents who not only learn to deal with their exceptional children but also find profound meaning in doing so. It was a New York Times bestseller in both hardcover and paperback editions. Solomon's previous book, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression, won the 2001 National Book Award for Nonfiction, was a finalist for the 2002 Pulitzer Prize and was included in The Times of London's list of one hundred best books of the decade. It has been published in twenty-four languages. Solomon is also the author of the novel A Stone Boat and of The Irony Tower: Soviet Artists in a Time of Glasnost.

Solomon is an activist in LGBT rights, mental health, education and the arts. He is a member of the boards of directors of the National LGBTQ Force and Trans Youth Family Allies. He is a member of the Board of Visitors of Columbia University Medical Center, serves on the National Advisory Board of the Depression Center at the University of Michigan, is a director of Columbia Psychiatry and is a member of the Advisory Board of the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. Solomon also serves on the boards of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Yaddo and The Alex Fund, which supports the education of Romani children. He is also a fellow of Berkeley College at Yale University and a member of the New York Institute for the Humanities and the Council on Foreign Relations.

Solomon lives with his husband and son in New York and London and is a dual national. He also has a daughter with a college friend; mother and daughter live in Texas but visit often.


More profile about the speaker
Andrew Solomon | Speaker | TED.com
TEDMED 2013

Andrew Solomon: Love, no matter what

安德鲁▪所罗门: 爱,本无条件

Filmed:
4,969,430 views

养育一个和你有本质差异的孩子(他/她可能是神童,残疾人或罪犯)有着怎样的感触?在这个平和且感人至深的演讲中,作家安德鲁▪所罗门分享了他和诸多父母的交谈:关于无条件的爱和无条件的接纳之间的那条线
- Writer
Andrew Solomon writes about politics, culture and psychology. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:12
"Even in purely纯粹 non-religious没有信仰 terms条款,
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“就算抛开宗教信仰的因素,
00:16
homosexuality同性恋 represents代表 a misuse滥用 of the sexual有性 faculty学院.
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同性恋也是性滥交的代名词
00:22
It is a pathetic可怜 little second-rate第二次评价 substitute替代 for reality现实 --
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它是可悲的,次等的,
一种现实的替代品
00:27
a pitiable可怜 flight飞行 from life.
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是人生中一段令人遗憾的旅程
00:29
As such这样, it deserves值得 no compassion同情,
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因此,同性恋不值得同情
00:33
it deserves值得 no treatment治疗
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也不值得治疗
00:36
as minority少数民族 martyrdom殉教,
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因为只有少数人为此受难
00:38
and it deserves值得 not to be deemed认为 anything but a pernicious有害 sickness疾病."
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同性恋只值得视为一种有害的疾病"
00:45
That's from Time magazine杂志 in 1966, when I was three years年份 old.
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上述的话选自1966年发行的
《时代》杂志,那时我只有三岁.
00:50
And last year, the president主席 of the United联合的 States状态
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但是就在去年,美国总统
00:54
came来了 out in favor偏爱 of gay同性恋者 marriage婚姻.
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站出来表示支持同性恋婚姻
00:57
(Applause掌声)
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(鼓掌)
01:04
And my question is, how did we get from there to here?
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我的问题是,我们是如何实现这种态度的转变?
01:10
How did an illness疾病 become成为 an identity身分?
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曾经的疾病是如何成为现在的一种身份认同?
01:15
When I was perhaps也许 six years年份 old,
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当我差不多六岁的时候
01:18
I went to a shoe store商店 with my mother母亲 and my brother哥哥.
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我和妈妈还有弟弟去一家鞋店
01:21
And at the end结束 of buying购买 our shoes,
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最后,当我们付款买鞋子的时候
01:23
the salesman推销员 said to us that we could each have a balloon气球 to take home.
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售货员告诉我们,
我们每个人可以挑选一个气球带回家
01:27
My brother哥哥 wanted a red balloon气球, and I wanted a pink balloon气球.
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我的弟弟想要一个红色的气球,
我想要粉色的气球
01:32
My mother母亲 said that she thought I'd really rather have a blue蓝色 balloon气球.
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而我的母亲说她觉得我应该选一个蓝色的气球
01:37
But I said that I definitely无疑 wanted the pink one.
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但是我说我想要的毫无疑问是粉色的气球
01:40
And she reminded提醒 me that my favorite喜爱 color颜色 was blue蓝色.
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她提醒我,我最喜欢的颜色是蓝色
01:46
The fact事实 that my favorite喜爱 color颜色 now is blue蓝色, but I'm still gay同性恋者 --
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其结果是,我现在最喜欢的颜色是蓝色,
但我依旧是个同性恋者
01:51
(Laughter笑声) --
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(笑声)
01:54
is evidence证据 of both my mother's母亲 influence影响 and its limits范围.
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这既反应了母亲对孩子的影响,
也反应了这其中的局限性
01:58
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
02:00
(Applause掌声)
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(鼓掌)
02:07
When I was little, my mother母亲 used to say,
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当我很小的时候,
母亲曾经说过
02:10
"The love you have for your children孩子 is like no other feeling感觉 in the world世界.
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"父母对子女的爱是世界上
其它一切感情都无法比拟的,
02:14
And until直到 you have children孩子, you don't know what it's like."
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只有当你拥有自己的孩子时,
你才能体会到"
02:17
And when I was little, I took it as the greatest最大 compliment赞扬 in the world世界
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我小的时候,把母亲讲的
关于抚育我和弟弟的这段话
02:21
that she would say that about parenting育儿 my brother哥哥 and me.
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当成是世界上最高称赞
02:24
And when I was an adolescent青少年, I thought
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当我成为一个青少年的时候,我想
02:26
that I'm gay同性恋者, and so I probably大概 can't have a family家庭.
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我是同性恋,
所以我可能不会有自己的家庭
02:30
And when she said it, it made制作 me anxious.
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当母亲说那些话的时候,
我就会感到很焦虑
02:32
And after I came来了 out of the closet壁橱,
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当我的事公之于众后,
02:33
when she continued继续 to say it, it made制作 me furious狂怒.
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母亲还重提此事,
我感到很恼火
02:37
I said, "I'm gay同性恋者. That's not the direction方向 that I'm headed当家 in.
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我说:“我是同性恋。我不会走那条路。
02:41
And I want you to stop saying that."
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我希望你不要再说那些话了。”
02:47
About 20 years年份 ago, I was asked by my editors编者 at The New York纽约 Times Magazine杂志
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大约二十年前,
《纽约时报》主编让我
02:52
to write a piece about deaf culture文化.
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写一篇关于聋人文化的文章
02:54
And I was rather taken采取 aback吓了一跳.
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我感到很惊讶
02:56
I had thought of deafness entirely完全 as an illness疾病.
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我原以为耳聋就是一种疾病
02:58
Those poor较差的 people, they couldn't不能 hear.
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那些可怜的人呀,
他们什么都听不见
03:00
They lacked缺乏 hearing听力, and what could we do for them?
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如果他们听不见,
我们能为他们做什么呢?
03:03
And then I went out into the deaf world世界.
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接下来,我走进了聋人世界
03:05
I went to deaf clubs会所.
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我去了聋人俱乐部
03:07
I saw performances演出 of deaf theater剧院 and of deaf poetry诗歌.
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观看了聋人的表演
03:11
I even went to the Miss小姐 Deaf America美国 contest比赛 in Nashville纳什维尔, Tennessee田纳西
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我甚至去了田纳西州纳什维尔的
“美国聋人小姐”选秀赛
03:17
where people complained抱怨 about that slurry泥浆 Southern南部的 signing签约.
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居然有人抱怨她们甜腻的南方手语“口音”
03:21
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
03:25
And as I plunged暴跌 deeper更深 and deeper更深 into the deaf world世界,
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随着越来越融入聋人世界
03:29
I become成为 convinced相信 that deafness was a culture文化
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我开始相信耳聋是一种文化
03:32
and that the people in the deaf world世界 who said,
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并且聋人世界中的人也说,
03:35
"We don't lack缺乏 hearing听力, we have membership in a culture文化,"
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"我们不是听力不健全,
我们是一种文化,"
03:38
were saying something that was viable可行.
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这是可行的
03:41
It wasn't my culture文化,
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这不是我的文化
03:42
and I didn't particularly尤其 want to rush off and join加入 it,
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我也没想冲过去加入这种文化
03:45
but I appreciated赞赏 that it was a culture文化
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但我欣赏它是一种文化
03:48
and that for the people who were members会员 of it,
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对其中的成员而言
03:50
it felt as valuable有价值 as Latino拉丁美洲人 culture文化 or gay同性恋者 culture文化 or Jewish犹太 culture文化.
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它的价值就如同拉美文化,
同性恋文化或犹太文化
03:56
It felt as valid有效 perhaps也许 even as American美国 culture文化.
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它甚至可以和美国文化相媲美
04:01
Then a friend朋友 of a friend朋友 of mine had a daughter女儿 who was a dwarf矮人.
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我朋友的朋友有个女儿,是个小矮人
04:04
And when her daughter女儿 was born天生,
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当她女儿出生的时候
04:06
she suddenly突然 found发现 herself她自己 confronting面对 questions问题
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她突然发现她要面对很多问题
04:08
that now began开始 to seem似乎 quite相当 resonant谐振 to me.
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这些问题使我产生共鸣
04:11
She was facing面对 the question of what to do with this child儿童.
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她当时面临的问题是--该如何对待这个孩子?
04:15
Should she say, "You're just like everyone大家 else其他 but a little bit shorter?"
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她应该说“你和其他人一样,只是矮了点儿”?
04:18
Or should she try to construct构造 some kind of dwarf矮人 identity身分,
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还是去试图建立某种小矮人身份认同
04:22
get involved参与 in the Little People of America美国,
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加入美国小个子联盟
04:24
become成为 aware知道的 of what was happening事件 for dwarfs小矮人?
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开始了解矮人生活圈的那些事?
04:27
And I suddenly突然 thought,
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然后我突然想到
04:28
most deaf children孩子 are born天生 to hearing听力 parents父母.
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大多数耳聋孩子的父母
都是听力健全的
04:31
Those hearing听力 parents父母 tend趋向 to try to cure治愈 them.
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那些听力健全的父母
总是试图去治愈他们的孩子
04:34
Those deaf people discover发现 community社区 somehow不知何故 in adolescence青春期.
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那些聋人要差不多到青春期的时候
才开始接触聋人群体
04:38
Most gay同性恋者 people are born天生 to straight直行 parents父母.
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大多数同性恋者的父母是异性恋
04:40
Those straight直行 parents父母 often经常 want them to function功能
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那些异性恋父母常常希望
他们的孩子表现得
04:42
in what they think of as the mainstream主流 world世界,
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如他们认为的主流世界所期望的那样
04:45
and those gay同性恋者 people have to discover发现 identity身分 later后来 on.
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那些同性恋者不得不长大后才寻找身份认同
04:48
And here was this friend朋友 of mine
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再说说我的这个朋友
04:50
looking at these questions问题 of identity身分 with her dwarf矮人 daughter女儿.
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面对这些关于她小矮人女儿身份认同的问题
04:53
And I thought, there it is again:
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然后我想,又是这样
04:55
A family家庭 that perceives察觉 itself本身 to be normal正常
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一个认为自己正常的家庭
04:58
with a child儿童 who seems似乎 to be extraordinary非凡.
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有着一个特殊的孩子
05:00
And I hatched孵化 the idea理念 that there are really two kinds of identity身分.
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我想,事实上
身份认同分为两种类型
05:05
There are vertical垂直 identities身份,
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有垂直身份认同
05:06
which哪一个 are passed通过 down generationally的世代 from parent to child儿童.
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从父母到孩子,代代相传
05:09
Those are things like ethnicity种族, frequently经常 nationality国籍, language语言, often经常 religion宗教.
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也有像是种族,国际,语言,宗教
05:15
Those are things you have in common共同 with your parents父母 and with your children孩子.
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你和你的父母,孩子拥有共同点,
05:20
And while some of them can be difficult,
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而有些身份较难识别,
05:22
there's no attempt尝试 to cure治愈 them.
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但并不需要尝试去改变
05:24
You can argue争论 that it's harder更难 in the United联合的 States状态 --
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你可以争辩说,在美国
05:27
our current当前 presidency总统任期 notwithstanding虽然 --
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作为有色人种生存艰难
05:29
to be a person of color颜色.
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尽管我们现任的总统是有色人种
05:31
And yet然而, we have nobody没有人 who is trying to ensure确保
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确实,没人试图去保证
05:34
that the next下一个 generation of children孩子 born天生 to African-Americans非洲裔美国人 and Asians亚洲人
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非洲裔美国人,亚洲裔的孩子们
05:38
come out with creamy奶油 skin皮肤 and yellow黄色 hair头发.
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生来就有着奶油色的皮肤和金黄的头发
05:41
There are these other identities身份 which哪一个 you have to learn学习 from a peer窥视 group.
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还有一些身份认同
是你从同龄人群中获得的
05:45
And I call them horizontal identities身份,
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我称它们为水平身份认同
05:48
because the peer窥视 group is the horizontal experience经验.
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因为和同伴一起活动,
接触,是所谓的一种经验
05:51
These are identities身份 that are alien外侨 to your parents父母
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这些身份认同与你从父母处得来的不同
05:53
and that you have to discover发现 when you get to see them in peers同行.
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你需要通过接触同伴自己发掘
05:57
And those identities身份, those horizontal identities身份,
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这种身份认同,
我指的是水平身份认同
06:00
people have almost几乎 always tried试着 to cure治愈.
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就是人们最希望去治愈的部分
06:04
And I wanted to look at what the process处理 is
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我想要研究的是,
这是怎样的过程
06:07
through通过 which哪一个 people who have those identities身份
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有着这些身份认同的人们
06:09
come to a good relationship关系 with them.
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是怎么和他们保持好的关系的
06:12
And it seemed似乎 to me that there were three levels水平 of acceptance验收
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在我看来,有三种
06:16
that needed需要 to take place地点.
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不同程度的接受
06:17
There's self-acceptance自我认同, there's family家庭 acceptance验收, and there's social社会 acceptance验收.
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这三种是,自我接受,家庭接纳,社会接纳
06:23
And they don't always coincide重合.
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它们并不一定同步发生
06:25
And a lot of the time, people who have these conditions条件 are very angry愤怒
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很多时候,这样的人很易怒
06:29
because they feel as though虽然 their parents父母 don't love them,
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因为他们觉得,
他们的父母并不爱他们
06:32
when what actually其实 has happened发生 is that their parents父母 don't accept接受 them.
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真实的情况是,
他的父母不接受他们
06:36
Love is something that ideally理想 is there unconditionally无条件
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最理想的爱就是父母和孩子
06:40
throughout始终 the relationship关系 between之间 a parent and a child儿童.
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之间那种无条件的爱
06:43
But acceptance验收 is something that takes time.
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但接受是需要时间
06:46
It always takes time.
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接受总是需要时间的
06:48
One of the dwarfs小矮人 I got to know was a guy named命名 Clinton克林顿 Brown棕色.
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我认识的一个小矮人
名叫克林顿布朗
06:53
When he was born天生, he was diagnosed确诊 with diastrophic畸形性 dwarfism侏儒症,
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他出生的时候
就被诊断为畸形侏儒症
06:56
a very disabling禁用 condition条件,
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他的残疾非常严重
06:58
and his parents父母 were told that he would never walk步行, he would never talk,
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他的父母被告知,
他永久丧失行走能力和语言能力
07:02
he would have no intellectual知识分子 capacity容量,
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他也没有获取知识的能力
07:04
and he would probably大概 not even recognize认识 them.
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他甚至也不会认识他的父母
07:06
And it was suggested建议 to them that they leave离开 him at the hospital醫院
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医院给他父母的建议是
把他留在医院
07:10
so that he could die there quietly悄悄.
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他可以在那里平静地离世
07:12
And his mother母亲 said she wasn't going to do it.
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他的母亲说,
她不会这样做
07:14
And she took her son儿子 home.
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她把她的儿子带回了家
07:16
And even though虽然 she didn't have a lot of educational教育性 or financial金融 advantages优点,
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尽管她没有什么学历,
也不是很富有
07:19
she found发现 the best最好 doctor医生 in the country国家
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她还是找到了治疗畸形侏儒症
07:21
for dealing交易 with diastrophic畸形性 dwarfism侏儒症,
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全国最顶级的医生
07:24
and she got Clinton克林顿 enrolled就读 with him.
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她让克林顿接受治疗
07:26
And in the course课程 of his childhood童年,
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他的童年
07:28
he had 30 major重大的 surgical外科 procedures程序.
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经历了 30次重大外科手术
07:31
And he spent花费 all this time stuck卡住 in the hospital醫院
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他一直待在医院里
07:33
while he was having those procedures程序,
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而正是这些治疗过程
07:35
as a result结果 of which哪一个 he now can walk步行.
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让他现在有了行走的能力
07:37
And while he was there, they sent发送 tutors导师 around to help him with his school学校 work.
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他在住院期间,
医院请了家庭教师来指导他的功课
07:41
And he worked工作 very hard because there was nothing else其他 to do.
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他学习非常努力,
因为他没有别的事可做
07:44
And he ended结束 up achieving实现 at a level水平
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最终,他达到了
07:46
that had never before been contemplated考虑 by any member会员 of his family家庭.
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他家庭内任何成员
都从未达到过的高度
07:50
He was the first one in his family家庭, in fact事实, to go to college学院,
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他是他的家庭成员里
第一个去上大学的人
07:53
where he lived生活 on campus校园 and drove开车 a specially-fitted专门装 car汽车
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他住在学校宿舍并且自己开车
07:56
that accommodated容纳 his unusual异常 body身体.
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一辆为他身体状况特别制造的汽车
07:59
And his mother母亲 told me this story故事 of coming未来 home one day --
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他的母亲告诉我一个故事
08:02
and he went to college学院 nearby附近 --
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他去了家附近的大学
08:04
and she said, "I saw that car汽车, which哪一个 you can always recognize认识,
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她说 "我看到了那部车,
一眼就认出来是他的车子
08:07
in the parking停車處 lot of a bar酒吧," she said. (Laughter笑声)
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停在一家酒吧的停车场," (笑声)
08:11
"And I thought to myself, they're six feet tall, he's three feet tall.
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"我想了想,
他们六英尺高,他三英尺高
08:16
Two beers啤酒 for them is four beers啤酒 for him."
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他们喝两瓶啤酒,
在他那里就相当于四瓶啤酒"。
08:18
She said, "I knew知道 I couldn't不能 go in there and interrupt打断 him,
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她说,"我知道我不能走进去打扰他
08:21
but I went home, and I left him eight messages消息 on his cell细胞 phone电话."
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但我回家之后,
给他发了八条短信
08:25
She said, "And then I thought,
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她说,"我想
08:27
if someone有人 had said to me when he was born天生
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在他出生的时候,
如果有人对我说,
08:29
that my future未来 worry担心 would be that he'd他会 go drinking and driving主动 with his college学院 buddies哥儿们 -- "
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我未来的担心是
他会和他大学友人酒后驾车"
08:34
(Applause掌声)
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(掌声)
08:43
And I said to her, "What do you think you did
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我对她说,
"你觉得你做了什么
08:45
that helped帮助 him to emerge出现 as this charming迷人, accomplished完成, wonderful精彩 person?"
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帮他成为一个有魅力、 成功、 精彩的人吗?"
08:50
And she said, "What did I do? I loved喜爱 him, that's all.
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她说,"我做了什么?
我爱他,就这样
08:54
Clinton克林顿 just always had that light in him.
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克林顿一直都有这样的光芒,
08:57
And his father父亲 and I were lucky幸运 enough足够 to be the first to see it there."
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他的父亲和我很幸运,
最早看见了他的光芒。”
09:04
I'm going to quote引用 from another另一个 magazine杂志 of the '60s.
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我要去引述1960年代
另一家杂志刊载的话
09:07
This one is from 1968 -- The Atlantic大西洋 Monthly每月一次, voice语音 of liberal自由主义的 America美国 --
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这是1968 年出版的大西洋月刊,
美国的自由主义之声
09:13
written书面 by an important重要 bioethicist生物伦理学家.
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作者是知名的生物伦理学专家
09:15
He said, "There is no reason原因 to feel guilty有罪
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他说,"对于遗弃唐氏综合症的婴孩
09:19
about putting a Down syndrome综合征 child儿童 away,
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我们不必感到内疚
09:22
whether是否 it is put away in the sense of hidden in a sanitarium疗养院
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无论是将其送到疗养院去
09:27
or in a more responsible主管, lethal致命 sense.
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或者用更负责也更致命的方式
09:31
It is sad伤心, yes -- dreadful可怕. But it carries携带 no guilt有罪.
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这很可悲,也很可怕
但不需要有罪恶感
09:36
True真正 guilt有罪 arises出现 only from an offense罪行 against反对 a person,
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真正有内疚只源于侵犯人,
09:40
and a Down's唐氏 is not a person."
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而唐氏综合症患者不是人。”
09:45
There's been a lot of ink墨水 given特定 to the enormous巨大 progress进展 that we've我们已经 made制作
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关于同性恋者处境的大幅度进步
09:49
in the treatment治疗 of gay同性恋者 people.
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已经有很多文章就此发表观点
09:51
The fact事实 that our attitude态度 has changed is in the headlines新闻头条 every一切 day.
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每天都有头条报导
人们对同性恋的态度已有所转变
09:55
But we forget忘记 how we used to see people who had other differences分歧,
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但我们遗忘了过去是怎么看待
不同于大众的人
10:00
how we used to see people who were disabled,
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忘了过去是怎么看待残障人士的
10:02
how inhuman不人道 we held保持 people to be.
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忘了我们曾经多么不人道
10:05
And the change更改 that's been accomplished完成 there,
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在那些方面的改变
10:07
which哪一个 is almost几乎 equally一样 radical激进,
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几乎同样激进
10:09
is one that we pay工资 not very much attention注意 to.
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我们却未给予更多的重视
10:11
One of the families家庭 I interviewed采访, Tom汤姆 and Karen卡伦 Robards罗巴兹,
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我采访过罗巴兹家族的
汤姆和凯伦夫妇
10:15
were taken采取 aback吓了一跳 when, as young年轻 and successful成功 New Yorkers纽约人,
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他们当年是年轻有为的纽约人
10:19
their first child儿童 was diagnosed确诊 with Down syndrome综合征.
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在得知他们第一个孩子
患有唐氏综合征时大为惊讶
10:23
They thought the educational教育性 opportunities机会 for him were not what they should be,
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他们认为儿子并未得到应有的教育
10:27
and so they decided决定 they would build建立 a little center中央 --
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于是他们决定成立一个小型教育机构
10:31
two classrooms教室 that they started开始 with a few少数 other parents父母 --
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两间教室里,
他们开始和其他的父母
10:34
to educate教育 kids孩子 with D.S.
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一起教育唐氏综合症儿童
10:37
And over the years年份, that center中央 grew成长 into something called the Cooke库克 Center中央,
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多年后,
该机构发展为库克中心
10:41
where there are now thousands数千 upon thousands数千
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现在有成千上万的
10:43
of children孩子 with intellectual知识分子 disabilities残疾人 who are being存在 taught.
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智障儿童在这里接受教育
10:47
In the time since以来 that Atlantic大西洋 Monthly每月一次 story故事 ran,
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自从大西洋月刊
刊载了那片文章以来
10:50
the life expectancy期待 for people with Down syndrome综合征 has tripled三倍.
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唐氏综合征患者的寿命
增加了两倍
10:54
The experience经验 of Down syndrome综合征 people includes包括 those who are actors演员,
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唐氏综合征的人有些是演员
10:59
those who are writers作家, some who are able能够 to live生活 fully充分 independently独立地 in adulthood成年.
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作家,有些在成年后
能完全独立生活
11:05
The Robards罗巴兹 had a lot to do with that.
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罗巴兹夫妇的贡献很大
11:07
And I said, "Do you regret后悔 it?
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我问他们:“你们会遗憾吗?
11:08
Do you wish希望 your child儿童 didn't have Down syndrome综合征?
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你们希望自己的孩子
没有唐氏综合征吗?
11:11
Do you wish希望 you'd never heard听说 of it?"
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是否希望从未听说过这种病症?"
11:12
And interestingly有趣 his father父亲 said,
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有趣的是这位父亲说,
11:15
"Well, for David大卫, our son儿子, I regret后悔 it,
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"嗯,从我们的儿子大卫角度来看,
我感到遗憾,
11:17
because for David大卫, it's a difficult way to be in the world世界,
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因为对于大卫来说,
这个世界里唐氏患儿的路走得非常艰辛
11:21
and I'd like to give David大卫 an easier更轻松 life.
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我想要给大卫更轻松的生活
11:24
But I think if we lost丢失 everyone大家 with Down syndrome综合征, it would be a catastrophic灾难性的 loss失利."
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但我认为,如果世界上不再有唐氏症患儿,
会是很大的损失。”
11:29
And Karen卡伦 Robards罗巴兹 said to me, "I'm with Tom汤姆.
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凯伦罗巴兹说:“我同意汤姆的看法
11:32
For David大卫, I would cure治愈 it in an instant瞬间 to give him an easier更轻松 life.
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为了让大卫活得更自在,
我会想瞬间治愈他的唐氏综合症
11:36
But speaking请讲 for myself -- well, I would never have believed相信 23 years年份 ago when he was born天生
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但对我来说,
23 年前他刚出生时,我绝不相信
11:41
that I could come to such这样 a point --
206
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我能走到今天这一步
11:43
speaking请讲 for myself, it's made制作 me so much better and so much kinder金德
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对我来说,他的病
让我成为更好,更善良的人
11:48
and so much more purposeful有目的的 in my whole整个 life,
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让我的人生更有意义
11:51
that speaking请讲 for myself, I wouldn't不会 give it up for anything in the world世界."
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对我来说,这样的经验
是世界上任何其他东西都换不来的"
11:57
We live生活 at a point when social社会 acceptance验收 for these and many许多 other conditions条件
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现代社会对这样那样的病症的接受程度
12:02
is on the up and up.
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越来越高
12:03
And yet然而 we also live生活 at the moment时刻
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然而,此时此刻
12:05
when our ability能力 to eliminate消除 those conditions条件
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我们治愈这些病症的能力
12:08
has reached到达 a height高度 we never imagined想象 before.
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也已经达到一个前所未有的高度
12:11
Most deaf infants婴儿 born天生 in the United联合的 States状态 now
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现在美国新生的耳聋婴儿
12:14
will receive接收 Cochlear人工耳蜗 implants植入物,
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都会接受人工耳蜗植入手术,
12:16
which哪一个 are put into the brain and connected连接的 to a receiver接收器,
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将人工耳蜗植入大脑
并连上接收器
12:21
and which哪一个 allow允许 them to acquire获得 a facsimile传真 of hearing听力 and to use oral口服 speech言语.
218
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通过接收信号,这让他们具有听说的能力
12:26
A compound复合 that has been tested测试 in mice老鼠, BMN-BMN-111,
219
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有一种叫 BMN-111的化合物,
经老鼠实验
12:30
is useful有用 in preventing防止 the action行动 of the achondroplasia软骨发育不全 gene基因.
220
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在抑制软骨发育不全基因方面
非常有效
12:35
Achondroplasia软骨发育不全 is the most common共同 form形成 of dwarfism侏儒症,
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软骨发育不全
是侏儒症最常见的表现形式
12:38
and mice老鼠 who have been given特定 that substance物质 and who have the achondroplasia软骨发育不全 gene基因,
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有软骨发育不全基因的小鼠
摄取BMN-11以后
12:42
grow增长 to full充分 size尺寸.
223
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可以生长到正常体型
12:44
Testing测试 in humans人类 is around the corner.
224
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临床试验指日可待
12:46
There are blood血液 tests测试 which哪一个 are making制造 progress进展
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通过血液检测唐氏综合症的技术也在进步
12:48
that would pick up Down syndrome综合征 more clearly明确地 and earlier in pregnancies怀孕 than ever before,
226
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可以在怀孕早期
更明确地检测出唐氏综合症
12:54
making制造 it easier更轻松 and easier更轻松 for people to eliminate消除 those pregnancies怀孕,
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使它更容易尽早终止
12:59
or to terminate终止 them.
228
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唐氏综合症胎儿妊娠
13:00
And so we have both social社会 progress进展 and medical progress进展.
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我们的社会进步了,
医学也发展了
13:05
And I believe in both of them.
230
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我认同这两方面的进步
13:07
I believe the social社会 progress进展 is fantastic奇妙 and meaningful富有意义的 and wonderful精彩,
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我相信社会的进步
精彩且有意义
13:11
and I think the same相同 thing about the medical progress进展.
232
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我认为医学的进步
也是如此
13:14
But I think it's a tragedy悲剧 when one of them doesn't see the other.
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但我认为两者互不理解
着实可悲
13:18
And when I see the way they're intersecting相交
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当我看到他们交汇的方式
13:20
in conditions条件 like the three I've just described描述,
235
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像我刚才描述的三个病例
13:23
I sometimes有时 think it's like those moments瞬间 in grand盛大 opera歌剧
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我有时觉得这就像
那些悲壮的歌剧
13:26
when the hero英雄 realizes实现 he loves the heroine女英雄
237
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当英雄意识到
他爱上女主角的时候
13:29
at the exact精确 moment时刻 that she lies expiring到期 on a divan长沙发.
238
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就是女主角躺在长沙发上
奄奄一息
13:33
(Laughter笑声)
239
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2799
(笑声)
13:36
We have to think about how we feel about cures治愈 altogether.
240
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我们要全盘考量对于治愈的态度
13:40
And a lot of the time the question of parenthood父母 is,
241
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父母常常面对的问题是
13:43
what do we validate验证 in our children孩子,
242
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孩子在哪些方面值得肯定
13:45
and what do we cure治愈 in them?
243
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哪些方面需要治愈?
13:47
Jim吉姆 Sinclair辛克莱, a prominent突出 autism自闭症 activist活动家, said,
244
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有名的自闭症专家,
吉姆 · 辛克莱说,
13:51
"When parents父母 say 'I'一世 wish希望 my child儿童 did not have autism自闭症,'
245
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"当父母说
'我希望我的孩子没有自闭症,'
13:55
what they're really saying is 'I'一世 wish希望 the child儿童 I have did not exist存在
246
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他们真正的意思是
' 我希望我的孩子并不存在
14:00
and I had a different不同, non-autistic非自闭症 child儿童 instead代替.'
247
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而希望有一个没有自闭症的孩子.'
14:04
Read that again. This is what we hear when you mourn over our existence存在.
248
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听仔细了,当你们抱怨我们的存在,
我们听到的就是这个意思
14:09
This is what we hear when you pray祈祷 for a cure治愈 --
249
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你们祈祷奇迹出现的时候,我们听到的是
14:12
that your fondest最钟爱 wish希望 for us
250
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1905
你们衷心希望
14:14
is that someday日后 we will cease停止 to be
251
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总有一天我们将不复存在
14:17
and strangers陌生人 you can love will move移动 in behind背后 our faces面孔."
252
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和我们长着相同面孔的陌生人将会取代我们,
得到你们所有的爱
14:22
It's a very extreme极端 point of view视图,
253
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这是一个非常极端的观点,
14:25
but it points to the reality现实 that people engage从事 with the life they have
254
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但它指出了一个现实,
人们有自己的生活
14:29
and they don't want to be cured治愈 or changed or eliminated淘汰.
255
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他们不想要被治愈
或改变或消灭
14:34
They want to be whoever it is that they've他们已经 come to be.
256
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他们希望,不管是谁,
都能保有与生俱来的天性
14:37
One of the families家庭 I interviewed采访 for this project项目
257
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为了这个项目
我采访了迪伦科莱柏德的家庭
14:41
was the family家庭 of Dylan迪伦 Klebold克莱波尔德 who was one of the perpetrators肇事者 of the Columbine鸽的 massacre屠杀.
258
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迪伦柯莱柏德是
哥伦拜恩校园惨案的罪犯之一
14:46
It took a long time to persuade说服 them to talk to me,
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我花了很长的时间
说服他们跟我对话
14:49
and once一旦 they agreed同意, they were so full充分 of their story故事
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他们同意了,
有太多的故事
14:52
that they couldn't不能 stop telling告诉 it.
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一开口就无法停下来
14:53
And the first weekend周末 I spent花费 with them -- the first of many许多 --
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我第一次和他们共度周末,
后来还有许多次
14:56
I recorded记录 more than 20 hours小时 of conversation会话.
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我录了20 多个小时的谈话内容
14:59
And on Sunday星期日 night, we were all exhausted.
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到了周日晚上,
大家都精疲力竭
15:01
We were sitting坐在 in the kitchen厨房. Sue起诉 Klebold克莱波尔德 was fixing定影 dinner晚餐.
265
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我们坐在厨房里,
苏在做晚饭
15:04
And I said, "If Dylan迪伦 were here now,
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我说,"如果现在,
迪伦还在这里
15:07
do you have a sense of what you'd want to ask him?"
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你们想要问他些什么?"
15:10
And his father父亲 said, "I sure do.
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他的父亲说,"当然
15:12
I'd want to ask him what the hell地狱 he thought he was doing."
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我想问问他
究竟为什么这样做"。
15:16
And Sue起诉 looked看着 at the floor地板, and she thought for a minute分钟.
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苏望着地板,
思考了一会儿
15:19
And then she looked看着 back up and said,
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然后抬起头来说,
15:21
"I would ask him to forgive原谅 me for being存在 his mother母亲
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“我会请他原谅
我不是合格的好母亲
15:25
and never knowing会心 what was going on inside his head."
273
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4424
从来不知道他的脑袋里
想的是些什么”
15:30
When I had dinner晚餐 with her a couple一对 of years年份 later后来 --
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几年后,
我再度与她吃晚餐
15:33
one of many许多 dinners晚餐 that we had together一起 --
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那是我们曾经许多共同的晚餐之一
15:35
she said, "You know, when it first happened发生,
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她说,"你知道,
当事情发生的时候
15:38
I used to wish希望 that I had never married已婚, that I had never had children孩子.
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926647
3808
我曾经希望我没有结过婚,
也没有孩子
15:42
If I hadn't有没有 gone走了 to Ohio俄亥俄州 State and crossed越过 paths路径 with Tom汤姆,
278
930455
3492
如果我没有到俄亥俄州立大学,
没遇见汤姆
15:45
this child儿童 wouldn't不会 have existed存在 and this terrible可怕 thing wouldn't不会 have happened发生.
279
933947
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这个孩子就不会存在,
这可怕的惨案就不会发生
15:49
But I've come to feel that I love the children孩子 I had so much
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4515
但我觉得我太爱孩子们了
15:54
that I don't want to imagine想像 a life without them.
281
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3303
我不愿想象没有他们的生活
15:57
I recognize认识 the pain疼痛 they caused造成 to others其他, for which哪一个 there can be no forgiveness饶恕,
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945407
4929
我承认他们对其他人造成的痛苦
是不可饶恕的
16:02
but the pain疼痛 they caused造成 to me, there is," she said.
283
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3464
但我能宽恕他们对我造成的痛苦。"她说
16:05
"So while I recognize认识 that it would have been better for the world世界
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3792
"所以虽然我承认,
如果迪伦未曾出现在这个世界上
16:09
if Dylan迪伦 had never been born天生,
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2510
世界会更美好
16:12
I've decided决定 that it would not have been better for me."
286
960102
5482
但我认为那样对我并非更有好处
16:17
I thought it was surprising奇怪 how all of these families家庭 had all of these children孩子 with all of these problems问题,
287
965584
6484
令人惊讶的是,
这些家庭有这么多子女教育的问题
16:24
problems问题 that they mostly大多 would have doneDONE anything to avoid避免,
288
972068
3033
这些问题又是他们
常常不惜代价去避免的
16:27
and that they had all found发现 so much meaning含义 in that experience经验 of parenting育儿.
289
975101
3819
但她们都发现养儿育女的经验
很有意义
16:30
And then I thought, all of us who have children孩子
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3201
然后我想,
我们这些有孩子的人
16:34
love the children孩子 we have, with their flaws破绽.
291
982121
2692
不管孩子如何,
我们都疼爱无比
16:36
If some glorious辉煌 angel天使 suddenly突然 descended下降 through通过 my living活的 room房间 ceiling天花板
292
984813
4256
如果带着光环的天使
突然从客厅天花板降落
16:41
and offered提供 to take away the children孩子 I have
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989069
2210
提议要带走我的孩子
16:43
and give me other, better children孩子 -- more polite有礼貌, funnier有趣, nicer更好, smarter聪明 --
294
991279
6594
还给我一个更好的孩子,
更有礼貌,风趣,友善,聪明
16:49
I would cling依偎 to the children孩子 I have and pray祈祷 away that atrocious穷凶极恶 spectacle场面.
295
997873
5105
我会紧抓住我自己的孩子,
祈祷残忍地事情不要发生
16:54
And ultimately最终 I feel
296
1002978
1992
我最终明白
16:56
that in the same相同 way that we test测试 flame-retardant不易燃的 pajamas睡衣 in an inferno地狱
297
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3578
就如同我们在火焰中测试防火睡衣
17:00
to ensure确保 they won't惯于 catch抓住 fire when our child儿童 reaches到达 across横过 the stove火炉,
298
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4472
以确保孩子手伸到炉子上时不会着火
17:05
so these stories故事 of families家庭 negotiating谈判 these extreme极端 differences分歧
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4068
这些处理特殊情况的家庭的故事
17:09
reflect反映 on the universal普遍 experience经验 of parenting育儿,
300
1017088
2681
反映了普世的育儿经验
17:11
which哪一个 is always that sometimes有时 you look at your child儿童 and you think,
301
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4134
有时候你看着孩子,
心里想
17:15
where did you come from?
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2189
你从哪里来?
17:18
(Laughter笑声)
303
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2454
(笑声)
17:20
It turns out that while each of these individual个人 differences分歧 is siloed孤立 --
304
1028546
4975
尽管他们各自面对不同的境况
17:25
there are only so many许多 families家庭 dealing交易 with schizophrenia精神分裂症,
305
1033521
2545
只有一些家庭有精神分裂症患者
17:28
there are only so many许多 families家庭 of children孩子 who are transgender变性,
306
1036066
2637
只有一些家庭的孩子做了变性手术
17:30
there are only so many许多 families家庭 of prodigies天才 --
307
1038703
2194
只有一些家庭出现神童
17:32
who also face面对 similar类似 challenges挑战 in many许多 ways方法 --
308
1040897
2284
在许多方面也面临着相似的挑战
17:35
there are only so many许多 families家庭 in each of those categories类别 --
309
1043181
2690
每个类别也仅有一些家庭
17:37
but if you start开始 to think
310
1045871
1432
但如果你开始思考
17:39
that the experience经验 of negotiating谈判 difference区别 within your family家庭
311
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3566
那些处理家人间分歧的经验
17:42
is what people are addressing解决,
312
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2030
是出现在每个人生活中的
17:44
then you discover发现 that it's a nearly几乎 universal普遍 phenomenon现象.
313
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3737
然后你发现这是一个普遍的现象
17:48
Ironically讽刺地, it turns out, that it's our differences分歧, and our negotiation谈判 of difference区别,
314
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4635
讽刺的是,事实证明,
正是我们的不同和我们协商彼此的不同
17:53
that unite团结 us.
315
1061271
2428
将我们连结起来
17:55
I decided决定 to have children孩子 while I was working加工 on this project项目.
316
1063699
5314
当我做这个项目的时候
我决定要孩子
18:01
And many许多 people were astonished惊讶 and said,
317
1069013
3116
很多人对此感到惊奇
18:04
"But how can you decide决定 to have children孩子
318
1072129
1848
"你怎么能做出要孩子的决定
18:05
in the midst中间 of studying研究 everything that can go wrong错误?"
319
1073977
4106
当你的研究是关于不如意的,
且只进行到一半?"
18:10
And I said, "I'm not studying研究 everything that can go wrong错误.
320
1078083
3230
我说,"我研究的不是那些不如意
18:13
What I'm studying研究 is how much love there can be,
321
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3091
我研究的是,
有多少爱可以给予
18:16
even when everything appears出现 to be going wrong错误."
322
1084404
4725
甚至当一切似乎
都是个错误的情况下"。
18:21
I thought a lot about the mother母亲 of one disabled child儿童 I had seen看到,
323
1089129
5635
我想起我见过的一个残疾孩子的母亲
18:26
a severely严重 disabled child儿童 who died死亡 through通过 caregiver护理人员 neglect忽略.
324
1094764
3772
这个有严重残疾的孩子
因为照料不周而去世
18:30
And when his ashes灰烬 were interred埋葬, his mother母亲 said,
325
1098536
2810
当他的骨灰被安葬的时候,
他的母亲说
18:33
"I pray祈祷 here for forgiveness饶恕 for having been twice两次 robbed被抢,
326
1101346
8034
"我在这里祈祷宽恕,
我失去了两个
18:41
once一旦 of the child儿童 I wanted and once一旦 of the son儿子 I loved喜爱."
327
1109380
6056
一个是我想要的孩子,
一个是我所爱着的儿子”
18:47
And I figured想通 it was possible可能 then for anyone任何人 to love any child儿童
328
1115436
4636
我以为任何一个人
都可以去爱任何孩子
18:52
if they had the effective有效 will to do so.
329
1120072
2532
如果他们有能力就会这样做
18:54
So my husband丈夫 is the biological生物 father父亲 of two children孩子
330
1122604
5025
我的丈夫是
两个孩子的亲生父亲
18:59
with some lesbian女同性恋 friends朋友 in Minneapolis明尼阿波利斯.
331
1127629
2761
这两个孩子的母亲是
他在明尼阿波利斯市的女同性恋朋友
19:02
I had a close friend朋友 from college学院 who'd谁愿意 gone走了 through通过 a divorce离婚 and wanted to have children孩子.
332
1130390
5824
我大学时期有一个亲密的朋友,
她离了婚却也想要孩子
19:08
And so she and I have a daughter女儿,
333
1136214
1898
所以我和她生了一个女儿
19:10
and mother母亲 and daughter女儿 live生活 in Texas德州.
334
1138112
2211
母亲和女儿居住在德克萨斯州
19:12
And my husband丈夫 and I have a son儿子 who lives生活 with us all the time
335
1140323
3239
我丈夫和我有个儿子
和我们一起生活
19:15
of whom I am the biological生物 father父亲,
336
1143562
2384
我是他的生父
19:17
and our surrogate代孕 for the pregnancy怀孕 was Laura劳拉,
337
1145946
3920
为我们代孕的女士是劳拉
19:21
the lesbian女同性恋 mother母亲 of Oliver奥利弗 and Lucy露西 in Minneapolis明尼阿波利斯.
338
1149881
3048
她是明尼阿波利斯市奥利弗和露西的
女同性恋母亲
19:24
(Applause掌声)
339
1152929
8655
(掌声)
19:33
So the shorthand速记 is five parents父母 of four children孩子 in three states状态.
340
1161584
5464
五位父母,生了四个孩子,
生活在三个不同的州
19:39
And there are people who think that the existence存在 of my family家庭
341
1167048
3356
当然有些人会认为,
这样的家庭的存在
19:42
somehow不知何故 undermines破坏 or weakens削弱 or damages赔偿 their family家庭.
342
1170404
4665
在某种程度上破坏或削弱
甚至损害了他们的家庭
19:47
And there are people who think that families家庭 like mine
343
1175069
3628
也有些人认为
像我们这样的家庭
19:50
shouldn't不能 be allowed允许 to exist存在.
344
1178697
1684
不应该被允许存在
19:52
And I don't accept接受 subtractive消减 models楷模 of love, only additive添加剂 ones那些.
345
1180381
5655
我不接受消减中的爱,
只求递增的爱
19:58
And I believe that in the same相同 way that we need species种类 diversity多样
346
1186036
3526
同时我也相信,
我们需要物种的多样性
20:01
to ensure确保 that the planet行星 can go on,
347
1189562
2251
来确保地球可以延续下去
20:03
so we need this diversity多样 of affection感情 and diversity多样 of family家庭
348
1191813
4201
因此,我们需要
这种多样化的感情和家庭
20:08
in order订购 to strengthen加强 the ecosphere生态圈 of kindness善良.
349
1196014
4681
来强化仁慈的生物圈
20:12
The day after our son儿子 was born天生,
350
1200695
2370
在我们儿子出生后的第二天
20:15
the pediatrician儿科医师 came来了 into the hospital醫院 room房间 and said she was concerned关心.
351
1203065
4572
儿科医生走进病房说
她很担心
20:19
He wasn't extending扩展 his legs appropriately适当.
352
1207637
3133
他没有适当地伸展他的双腿
20:22
She said that might威力 mean that he had brain damage损伤.
353
1210770
2909
她说这可能意味着他有脑损伤
20:25
In so far as he was extending扩展 them, he was doing so asymmetrically不对称,
354
1213679
3361
当他伸腿时,又很不对称
20:29
which哪一个 she thought could mean that there was a tumor of some kind in action行动.
355
1217040
3863
她以为这可能意味着
有某种类型的肿瘤
20:32
And he had a very large head, which哪一个 she thought might威力 indicate表明 hydrocephalus脑积水.
356
1220903
4783
他的头非常大,
她认为这可能意味着他有脑积水
20:37
And as she told me all of these things,
357
1225686
1630
当她告诉我这些事情的时候
20:39
I felt the very center中央 of my being存在 pouring浇注 out onto the floor地板.
358
1227316
3995
我觉得我的身体要倒下去似的
20:43
And I thought, here I had been working加工 for years年份
359
1231311
2343
我想,我花很多年写的书
20:45
on a book about how much meaning含义 people had found发现
360
1233654
2549
关于人们养育残疾子女的经验
20:48
in the experience经验 of parenting育儿 children孩子 who are disabled,
361
1236203
3533
给他们带来了怎样的意义
20:51
and I didn't want to join加入 their number.
362
1239736
3900
但我还是不想加入他们
20:55
Because what I was encountering遇到 was an idea理念 of illness疾病.
363
1243636
2695
我想到的是疾病
20:58
And like all parents父母 since以来 the dawn黎明 of time,
364
1246331
2250
就像所有的父母那样,
从孩子出生那刻起
21:00
I wanted to protect保护 my child儿童 from illness疾病.
365
1248581
3346
我想要我的孩子健康
21:03
And I wanted also to protect保护 myself from illness疾病.
366
1251927
3211
同时我也想自己远离疾病
21:07
And yet然而, I knew知道 from the work I had doneDONE
367
1255138
2560
我的工作经验让我得知
21:09
that if he had any of the things we were about to start开始 testing测试 for,
368
1257698
4107
如果经过哪些检查,
发现他有什么问题
21:13
that those would ultimately最终 be his identity身分,
369
1261805
3073
那将永久成为他的特性
21:16
and if they were his identity身分 they would become成为 my identity身分,
370
1264878
4234
如果这是他的特性,也将会是我的特性
21:21
that that illness疾病 was going to take a very different不同 shape形状 as it unfolded展开.
371
1269112
4157
这将不同于病症最初呈现的那样
21:25
We took him to the MRIMRI machine, we took him to the CAT scanner扫描器,
372
1273269
3031
我们带他做核磁共振,
带他做计算机化X射线轴向分层造影
21:28
we took this day-old日龄 child儿童 and gave him over for an arterial动脉 blood血液 draw.
373
1276300
3998
我们带着这个出生仅一天的孩子做动脉抽血
21:32
We felt helpless无助.
374
1280298
1194
我们感到无助
21:33
And at the end结束 of five hours小时,
375
1281492
1478
五个小时后,
21:34
they said that his brain was completely全然 clear明确
376
1282970
2224
医生们说他的大脑完全没问题
21:37
and that he was by then extending扩展 his legs correctly正确地.
377
1285194
3010
也可以完全正常伸展他的双腿
21:40
And when I asked the pediatrician儿科医师 what had been going on,
378
1288204
2932
当我问儿科医生这是怎么回事,
21:43
she said she thought in the morning早上 he had probably大概 had a cramp抽筋.
379
1291136
4335
她说,她觉得早上他可能抽筋了
21:47
(Laughter笑声)
380
1295471
3565
(笑声)
21:51
But I thought how my mother母亲 was right.
381
1299036
7833
我认为我的母亲是正确的
21:58
I thought, the love you have for your children孩子
382
1306869
3495
我以为你对自己孩子的爱
22:02
is unlike不像 any other feeling感觉 in the world世界,
383
1310364
3330
是不同于世界上任何其他感觉的
22:05
and until直到 you have children孩子, you don't know what it feels感觉 like.
384
1313694
6164
直到你有孩子,
你才知道那是什么样的感觉
22:11
I think children孩子 had ensnared诱捕 me
385
1319858
2321
我想是孩子让我
22:14
the moment时刻 I connected连接的 fatherhood父亲 with loss失利.
386
1322179
3526
认为自己不是个称职的父亲
22:17
But I'm not sure I would have noticed注意到 that
387
1325705
1932
但我不确定自己会注意到
22:19
if I hadn't有没有 been so in the thick of this research研究 project项目 of mine.
388
1327637
5525
要不是我做了这么繁复的研究项目,
22:25
I'd encountered遇到 so much strange奇怪 love,
389
1333162
3232
我遇到了太多奇怪的爱,
22:28
and I fell下跌 very naturally自然 into its bewitching妖媚 patterns模式.
390
1336394
3785
然后我很自然地陷入其迷人的模式
22:32
And I saw how splendor can illuminate照亮 even the most abject卑劣 vulnerabilities漏洞.
391
1340179
6727
我看到光彩如何照亮最不幸的脆弱之处
22:38
During these 10 years年份, I had witnessed目击 and learned学到了
392
1346906
3806
在这 10 年期间,我曾目睹和了解到
22:42
the terrifying可怕的 joy喜悦 of unbearable不堪忍受 responsibility责任,
393
1350712
3492
那些难以承受的责任,
22:46
and I had come to see how it conquers征服 everything else其他.
394
1354204
3532
我也看到了它如何克服一切苦难
22:49
And while I had sometimes有时 thought the parents父母 I was interviewing面试 were fools傻瓜,
395
1357736
4301
我曾经有时会想,
我正在采访的父母是傻瓜
22:54
enslaving奴役 themselves他们自己 to a lifetime's一辈子的 journey旅程 with their thankless费力不讨好 children孩子
396
1362037
4950
让自己踏上给不知感恩的孩子们一生为奴的旅程
22:58
and trying to breed品种 identity身分 out of misery苦难,
397
1366987
2949
试图从痛苦中获得身份认同
23:01
I realized实现 that day that my research研究 had built内置 me a plank
398
1369936
4636
我意识到,从研究开始那天起,
我已建造了一块踏板
随时准备着与他们同舟共济
23:06
and that I was ready准备 to join加入 them on their ship.
399
1374572
3414
23:09
Thank you.
400
1377986
1817
谢谢
23:11
(Applause掌声)
401
1379803
5651
(掌声)
Translated by Zhiting Chen
Reviewed by Jing Peng

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Andrew Solomon - Writer
Andrew Solomon writes about politics, culture and psychology.

Why you should listen

Andrew Solomon is a writer, lecturer and Professor of Clinical Psychology at Columbia University. He is president of PEN American Center. He writes regularly for The New Yorker and the New York Times.

Solomon's newest book, Far and Away: Reporting from the Brink of Change, Seven Continents, Twenty-Five Years was published in April, 2016. His previous book, Far From the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity won the National Book Critics Circle award for nonfiction, the Wellcome Prize and 22 other national awards. It tells the stories of parents who not only learn to deal with their exceptional children but also find profound meaning in doing so. It was a New York Times bestseller in both hardcover and paperback editions. Solomon's previous book, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression, won the 2001 National Book Award for Nonfiction, was a finalist for the 2002 Pulitzer Prize and was included in The Times of London's list of one hundred best books of the decade. It has been published in twenty-four languages. Solomon is also the author of the novel A Stone Boat and of The Irony Tower: Soviet Artists in a Time of Glasnost.

Solomon is an activist in LGBT rights, mental health, education and the arts. He is a member of the boards of directors of the National LGBTQ Force and Trans Youth Family Allies. He is a member of the Board of Visitors of Columbia University Medical Center, serves on the National Advisory Board of the Depression Center at the University of Michigan, is a director of Columbia Psychiatry and is a member of the Advisory Board of the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. Solomon also serves on the boards of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Yaddo and The Alex Fund, which supports the education of Romani children. He is also a fellow of Berkeley College at Yale University and a member of the New York Institute for the Humanities and the Council on Foreign Relations.

Solomon lives with his husband and son in New York and London and is a dual national. He also has a daughter with a college friend; mother and daughter live in Texas but visit often.


More profile about the speaker
Andrew Solomon | Speaker | TED.com