ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Eleanor Longden - Research psychologist
Eleanor Longden overcame her diagnosis of schizophrenia to earn a master’s in psychology and demonstrate that the voices in her head were “a sane reaction to insane circumstances.”

Why you should listen
Despite what traditional medicine may opine, Eleanor Longden isn’t crazy -- and neither are many other people who hear voices in their heads. In fact, the psychic phenomenon is a “creative and ingenious survival strategy” that should be seen “not as an abstract symptom of illness to be endured, but as complex, significant, and meaningful experience to be explored,” the British psychology researcher says.
 
Longden spent many years in the psychiatric system before earning a BSc and an MSc in psychology, the highest classifications ever granted by the University of Leeds, England. Today she is studying for her PhD, and lectures and writes about recovery-oriented approaches to psychosis, dissociation and complex trauma.
More profile about the speaker
Eleanor Longden | Speaker | TED.com
TED2013

Eleanor Longden: The voices in my head

埃莉諾·朗登: 內心的喧嘩

Filmed:
4,913,445 views

像多数的大学生一样,埃莉諾·朗登去上课时脚步轻快,毫无牵挂;直到她开始听到那些声音。起初情况没甚么大不了,但这些声音却越来越叛逆跋扈,让她的生活陷入噩梦中。曾确诊为精神分裂症患者,经过药物治疗最后却为束手无策的体系所遗弃,埃莉諾诉说自己如何历经多年努力者挽回心理健康,以经验证明,学习倾听内在的声音让她撑了过来。
- Research psychologist
Eleanor Longden overcame her diagnosis of schizophrenia to earn a master’s in psychology and demonstrate that the voices in her head were “a sane reaction to insane circumstances.” Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:12
The day I left home for the first time
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我第一次离家到大学念书的那天
00:14
to go to university大学 was a bright day
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感觉棒呆了!
00:16
brimming充满 with hope希望 and optimism乐观.
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日子充满希望
00:19
I'd doneDONE well at school学校. Expectations期望 for me were high,
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我学业表现不错,大家对我期望颇高
00:22
and I gleefully兴高采烈地 entered进入 the student学生 life
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我也满怀期待地投入大学生活
00:24
of lectures讲座, parties派对 and traffic交通 cone锥体 theft盗窃.
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上课、参加派对,喝醉了偷交通路标.
00:28
Now appearances出场, of course课程, can be deceptive骗人的,
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当然,事情不能只看表面
00:30
and to an extent程度, this feisty易怒的, energetic有活力 persona人物
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就某种程度而言,上课和偷交通路标
00:34
of lecture-going演讲持续 and traffic交通 cone锥体 stealing偷窃行为 was a veneer单板,
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这些活跃又不服输的印象只是伪装
00:37
albeit尽管 a very well-crafted精心设计的 and convincing使人信服 one.
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但掩饰得很好,足以瞒过任何人
00:40
Underneath, I was actually其实 deeply unhappy不快乐, insecure不安全
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只是我内心其实不快乐而且不安
00:43
and fundamentally从根本上 frightened受惊 --
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骨子里很害怕……
00:45
frightened受惊 of other people, of the future未来, of failure失败
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怕其他人、未来,怕失败
00:49
and of the emptiness空虚 that I felt was within me.
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还有内心的空虚感
00:51
But I was skilled技能的 at hiding it, and from the outside
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但我隐藏得很好!
00:54
appeared出现 to be someone有人 with everything to hope希望 for
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外表看来就像是对一切都充满期待
00:56
and aspire立志 to.
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与抱负
00:57
This fantasy幻想 of invulnerability刀枪不入 was so complete完成
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甚么都不怕的想法是如此彻底
01:01
that I even deceived被骗 myself,
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连我自己都信以为真
01:02
and as the first semester学期 ended结束 and the second第二 began开始,
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所以念完一学期;而新学期开始的时候
01:05
there was no way that anyone任何人 could have predicted预料到的
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根本没人能预料
01:07
what was just about to happen发生.
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将要发生的事
01:10
I was leaving离开 a seminar研讨会 when it started开始,
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当时已开始上课而我正要逃学
01:13
humming低唱 to myself, fumbling摸索 with my bag
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我边哼歌边收拾东西
01:15
just as I'd doneDONE a hundred times before,
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动作一如往常熟练
01:18
when suddenly突然 I heard听说 a voice语音 calmly平心静气 observe,
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这时传来一个冷眼旁观的声音
01:20
"She is leaving离开 the room房间."
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「她要走了」
01:23
I looked看着 around, and there was no one there,
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我四下张望,但根本没人
01:24
but the clarity明晰 and decisiveness决断 of the comment评论
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那声音听来果断清晰
01:27
was unmistakable明白的.
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不可能是我听错
01:28
Shaken动摇, I left my books图书 on the stairs楼梯 and hurried慌忙 home,
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我太震惊了,连忘在阶梯上的书都没拿
01:31
and there it was again.
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就冲回家,但那声音又来了!
01:32
"She is opening开盘 the door."
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「她正要开门」
01:34
This was the beginning开始. The voice语音 had arrived到达.
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[就是这样开始的]:这个声音在我耳边响起
01:38
And the voice语音 persisted坚持,
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并且持续不断
01:41
days and then weeks of it, on and on,
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每天每星期地重复
01:43
narrating话外音 everything I did in the third第三 person.
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以旁观者的语气叙述我作的事
01:45
"She is going to the library图书馆."
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「她要上图馆了」
01:47
"She is going to a lecture演讲."
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「她要去上课了」
01:49
It was neutral中性, impassive冷漠 and even, after a while,
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这声音起初毫无感情,但一段时间后
01:52
strangely奇怪 companionate伙伴式 and reassuring令人欣慰,
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却令人莫名熟悉与安慰
01:54
although虽然 I did notice注意 that its calm冷静 exterior外观 sometimes有时 slipped下滑
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但我的确发现,这表面平静的语调
01:58
and that it occasionally偶尔 mirrored镜像 my own拥有 unexpressed未表达 emotion情感.
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有时也会不经意地泄漏我隐藏的情绪
02:01
So, for example, if I was angry愤怒 and had to hide隐藏 it,
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就拿我常需要压抑愤怒这事来说吧!
02:04
which哪一个 I often经常 did, being存在 very adept拿手 at concealing隐瞒 how I really felt,
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隐藏情绪这事我很在行的
02:07
then the voice语音 would sound声音 frustrated受挫.
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不过那声音就会因此听起来很气馁
02:09
Otherwise除此以外, it was neither也不 sinister险恶 nor也不 disturbing烦扰的,
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但其他时候,听来还不致令人不安
02:12
although虽然 even at that point it was clear明确
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尽管这声音当时很明显地
02:14
that it had something to communicate通信 to me
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有事要对我说
02:16
about my emotions情绪, particularly尤其 emotions情绪
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尤其是我的情绪
02:19
which哪一个 were remote远程 and inaccessible人迹罕至.
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始终深藏不露的这件事
02:22
Now it was then that I made制作 a fatal致命 mistake错误,
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就在那时我犯了一个大错
02:25
in that I told a friend朋友 about the voice语音, and she was horrified吓坏了.
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我把听到声音的说给一位朋友听,她吓坏了!
02:28
A subtle微妙 conditioning空调 process处理 had begun开始,
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她开始不着痕迹地导正我
02:30
the implication意义 that normal正常 people don't hear voices声音
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暗示幻听不是正常现象
02:34
and the fact事实 that I did meant意味着 that something was very seriously认真地 wrong错误.
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而且我自己也觉得很不对劲
02:37
Such这样 fear恐惧 and mistrust不信任 was infectious传染病.
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这样的恐惧和疑虑是会传染的
02:41
Suddenly突然 the voice语音 didn't seem似乎 quite相当 so benign良性 anymore,
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忽然那声音听来不再那么友善
02:44
and when she insisted坚持 that I seek寻求 medical attention注意,
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当她坚持我必须去看医生
02:46
I duly适时地 complied编译过, and which哪一个 proved证实 to be
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我顺从地照做,但事后证明
02:48
mistake错误 number two.
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又错了!
02:50
I spent花费 some time telling告诉 the college学院 G.P.
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之后我找校医谈
02:52
about what I perceived感知 to be the real真实 problem问题:
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说出我担忧的问题
02:54
anxiety焦虑, low self-worth自我价值, fears恐惧 about the future未来,
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像是焦虑、没自信和对未来恐惧
02:57
and was met会见 with bored无聊 indifference漠不关心
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但对方没什么兴趣,也不在乎
02:59
until直到 I mentioned提到 the voice语音,
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但当我一提到,听见有人说话这件事
03:01
upon which哪一个 he dropped下降 his pen钢笔, swung挥动 round回合
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他立刻放下手中的笔,转过头来
03:03
and began开始 to question me with a show显示 of real真实 interest利益.
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开始很关心地问了一些问题
03:06
And to be fair公平, I was desperate殊死 for interest利益 and help,
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平心而论,我当时非常渴望关切和帮助
03:08
and I began开始 to tell him about my strange奇怪 commentator评论员.
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所以我就把有一位「评论员」的事说出来了
03:11
And I always wish希望, at this point, the voice语音 had said,
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我深信当时那声音会说
03:13
"She is digging挖掘 her own拥有 grave."
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「她在自掘坟墓」
03:15
I was referred简称 to a psychiatrist心理医生, who likewise同样
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我被转介给精神科医生
03:19
took a grim严峻 view视图 of the voice's音色 presence存在,
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有声音这件事被很严肃地看待
03:21
subsequently后来 interpreting解读 everything I said
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所以接着我所说的一切
03:23
through通过 a lens镜片 of latent insanity疯狂.
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都被当作精神异常的可能征兆
03:26
For example, I was part部分 of a student学生 TV电视 station
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比方说,我们学校有新闻电视台
03:29
that broadcast广播 news新闻 bulletins公告 around the campus校园,
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而我是成员之一
03:31
and during an appointment约定 which哪一个 was running赛跑 very late晚了,
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有一次会面的时间太久
03:33
I said, "I'm sorry, doctor医生, I've got to go.
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我说:「医生,抱歉我得走了!」
03:35
I'm reading the news新闻 at six."
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「我还要回去报6点的新闻」
03:36
Now it's down on my medical records记录 that Eleanor埃莉诺
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结果诊断书上说我
03:38
has delusions妄想 that she's a television电视 news新闻 broadcaster广播员.
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幻想自已是电视新闻主播
03:42
It was at this point that events事件 began开始
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从此事情发展
03:45
to rapidly急速 overtake超过 me.
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迅速超出我所能掌控
03:47
A hospital醫院 admission入场 followed其次, the first of many许多,
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就在我住院后
03:50
a diagnosis诊断 of schizophrenia精神分裂症 came来了 next下一个,
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精神分裂的诊断也一一确定了
03:53
and then, worst最差 of all, a toxic有毒的, tormenting折磨 sense
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最糟的是,那种不抱希望、屈辱
03:56
of hopelessness绝望, humiliation屈辱 and despair绝望
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还有对自己和前途绝望的折磨
04:00
about myself and my prospects前途.
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令人痛苦不堪
04:02
But having been encouraged鼓励 to see the voice语音
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因为一直被灌输这个观念
04:05
not as an experience经验 but as a symptom症状,
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听到怪声音不是一种经验,是有病
04:07
my fear恐惧 and resistance抵抗性 towards it intensified愈演愈烈.
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我对此的恐惧和抗拒也与日俱增
04:10
Now essentially实质上, this represented代表 taking服用
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本质上,这等于要我
04:12
an aggressive侵略性 stance姿态 towards my own拥有 mind心神,
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与自己的思想为敌
04:14
a kind of psychic精神 civil国内 war战争,
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就像是心灵内战
04:17
and in turn this caused造成 the number of voices声音 to increase增加
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结果我听到的怪声音反而变多了
04:20
and grow增长 progressively逐步 hostile敌对 and menacing来势汹汹.
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且逐渐衍生出敌意
04:23
Helplessly无奈 and hopelessly绝望地, I began开始 to retreat撤退
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感到绝望又无助的我
04:27
into this nightmarish噩梦 inner world世界
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便自我封闭于噩梦般的内心世界
04:29
in which哪一个 the voices声音 were destined注定 to become成为
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而那些声音便成了其中
04:31
both my persecutors迫害 and my only perceived感知 companions同伴.
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我唯一的伙伴及加害者
04:35
They told me, for example, that if I proved证实 myself worthy值得
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那些声音告诉我,如果我能证明
04:38
of their help, then they could change更改 my life
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自己值得他们帮助,那么
04:40
back to how it had been,
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他们可让我的人生回到原来的样子
04:41
and a series系列 of increasingly日益 bizarre奇异的 tasks任务 was set,
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而一连串怪异的任务于焉展开
04:44
a kind of labor劳动 of Hercules大力神.
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都不是容易应付的那种
04:46
It started开始 off quite相当 small, for example,
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刚开始还只是小意思
04:48
pull out three strands of hair头发,
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像是拔下3搓头发
04:50
but gradually逐渐 it grew成长 more extreme极端,
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但逐渐变本加厉
04:51
culminating高潮 in commands命令 to harm危害 myself,
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最后要我做一些伤害自己的事
04:54
and a particularly尤其 dramatic戏剧性 instruction指令:
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还有一些蛮夸张的指示
04:56
"You see that tutor导师 over there?
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「看见那助教没?」
04:58
You see that glass玻璃 of water?
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「有一杯水对吧?」
04:59
Well, you have to go over and pour it over him in front面前 of the other students学生们."
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「我要妳过去在其他学生面前,把水倒在他头上」
05:02
Which哪一个 I actually其实 did, and which哪一个 needless不必要 to say
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我真的照做了! 当然不用说
05:04
did not endear爱戴 me to the faculty学院.
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我也成为教职员眼中的头痛人物
05:06
In effect影响, a vicious恶毒 cycle周期 of fear恐惧, avoidance躲避,
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事实上,恐惧、回避
05:10
mistrust不信任 and misunderstanding误解 had been established既定,
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猜忌和误解的恶性循环已经形成
05:13
and this was a battle战斗 in which哪一个 I felt powerless无力
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但我无力抗拒
05:15
and incapable无法 of establishing建立 any kind of peace和平 or reconciliation和解.
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也无法妥协或平静下来
05:20
Two years年份 later后来, and the deterioration恶化 was dramatic戏剧性.
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2年后,情况急遽转坏
05:23
By now, I had the whole整个 frenzied丧心病狂 repertoire剧目:
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这期间我经历过各种怪事
05:27
terrifying可怕的 voices声音, grotesque奇怪的 visions愿景,
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令人害怕的声音,丑陋的影像
05:30
bizarre奇异的, intractable棘手 delusions妄想.
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莫名的怪异幻象
05:33
My mental心理 health健康 status状态 had been a catalyst催化剂
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而我的心理状态
05:35
for discrimination区别, verbal口头 abuse滥用,
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让我饱受歧视与言词羞辱
05:38
and physical物理 and sexual有性 assault突击,
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甚至被攻击和性侵
05:40
and I'd been told by my psychiatrist心理医生,
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我的心理医生还曾告诉我
05:42
"Eleanor埃莉诺, you'd be better off with cancer癌症,
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「Eleanor, 妳若是得癌症还比较好」
05:44
because cancer癌症 is easier更轻松 to cure治愈 than schizophrenia精神分裂症."
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「精神分裂还比较难治!」
05:48
I'd been diagnosed确诊, drugged迷药 and discarded丢弃,
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经过诊断、用药,然后被遗弃
05:51
and was by now so tormented折磨 by the voices声音
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深受那些声音所苦
05:53
that I attempted尝试 to drill钻头 a hole in my head
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让我一度想在头上开个洞
05:56
in order订购 to get them out.
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好把那些声音赶出去
05:58
Now looking back on the wreckage残骸 and despair绝望 of those years年份,
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回首这些年的千疮百孔
06:02
it seems似乎 to me now as if someone有人 died死亡 in that place地点,
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看来就像有人陨殁
06:06
and yet然而, someone有人 else其他 was saved保存.
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但另一个人却获救
06:09
A broken破碎 and haunted闹鬼 person began开始 that journey旅程,
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起初那个伤痕累累又不安的人
06:13
but the person who emerged出现 was a survivor幸存者
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已褪变为一个救星
06:16
and would ultimately最终 grow增长 into the person
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最后变成
06:18
I was destined注定 to be.
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命中注定的样子
06:20
Many许多 people have harmed伤害 me in my life,
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我这一生被许多人伤害过
06:23
and I remember记得 them all,
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而且我都记得
06:24
but the memories回忆 grow增长 pale苍白 and faint
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但相较于受人恩惠
06:27
in comparison对照 with the people who've谁一直 helped帮助 me.
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那些不堪回首的事就显得依稀模糊了
06:31
The fellow同伴 survivors幸存者, the fellow同伴 voice-hearers语音听众,
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那些同病相怜的过来人、
06:33
the comrades同志 and collaborators合作者;
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朋友和伙伴
06:35
the mother母亲 who never gave up on me,
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还有对我从未放弃希望的母亲
06:38
who knew知道 that one day I would come back to her
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她知道女儿总有一天会恢复
06:40
and was willing愿意 to wait for me for as long as it took;
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而她愿意一直等下去
06:44
the doctor医生 who only worked工作 with me for a brief简要 time
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那位和我萍水相逢的医生
06:47
but who reinforced加强 his belief信仰 that recovery复苏
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不仅坚信我有可能康复
06:49
was not only possible可能 but inevitable必然,
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而且一定会康复.
06:51
and during a devastating破坏性的 period of relapse复发
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在我病情不断复发,令人心力憔悴的那段时间
06:53
told my terrified family家庭, "Don't give up hope希望.
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他告诉我的家人:「别放弃希望!
06:56
I believe that Eleanor埃莉诺 can get through通过 this.
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「我相信Eleanor能捱过这关!」
06:59
Sometimes有时, you know, it snows下雪 as late晚了 as May可能,
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「有时候5月天也会下雪」
07:02
but summer夏季 always comes eventually终于."
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「但夏天终究会来!」
07:06
Fourteen十四 minutes分钟 is not enough足够 time
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14分钟的时间其实不够我去感谢
07:07
to fully充分 credit信用 those good and generous慷慨 people
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那些拉我一把的好人
07:10
who fought战斗 with me and for me
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有人与我并肩作战,为我挺身而出
07:12
and who waited等待 to welcome欢迎 me back
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还有人盼着我
07:14
from that agonized苦涩, lonely孤独 place地点.
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从孤独沉痛中恢复过来
07:17
But together一起, they forged伪造的 a blend混合 of courage勇气,
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但他们共同造就的勇气
07:19
creativity创造力, integrity廉正, and an unshakeable雷打不动 belief信仰
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创造力、诚信和坚定信念
07:22
that my shattered破灭 self could become成为 healed愈合 and whole整个.
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让原来支离破碎的我,得以找回完整的自己
07:26
I used to say that these people saved保存 me,
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我曾说这些人救了我
07:28
but what I now know is they did something
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但我现在才明白
07:30
even more important重要 in that they empowered授权 me
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是他们让我有力量
07:32
to save保存 myself,
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拯救自己
07:34
and crucially关键, they helped帮助 me to understand理解 something
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更重要的是,他们让我了解
07:36
which哪一个 I'd always suspected嫌疑:
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一件我过去始终不确定的事
07:38
that my voices声音 were a meaningful富有意义的 response响应
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我所听见的那些声音,其实是以有意义的方式
07:40
to traumatic创伤 life events事件, particularly尤其 childhood童年 events事件,
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响应过去的伤痛,尤其是我的童年
07:43
and as such这样 were not my enemies敌人
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这样说来,我们不应彼此为敌
07:45
but a source资源 of insight眼光 into solvable可解 emotional情绪化 problems问题.
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是这些声音让我看清那些并非无解的情绪问题
07:50
Now, at first, this was very difficult to believe,
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起初这很难去相信
07:53
not least最小 because the voices声音 appeared出现 so hostile敌对
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不只因为那些声音好像不怀好意
07:55
and menacing来势汹汹, so in this respect尊重, a vital重要 first step
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既然如此,首要步骤就是
07:59
was learning学习 to separate分离 out a metaphorical隐喻 meaning含义
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学着从我原本理解的表象中
08:01
from what I'd previously先前 interpreted解读 to be a literal文字 truth真相.
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找到其中的隐含的意义
08:05
So for example, voices声音 which哪一个 threatened受威胁 to attack攻击 my home
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举例来说,那些声音曾威胁要袭击我家
08:08
I learned学到了 to interpret as my own拥有 sense of fear恐惧
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那时我习惯以自身的恐惧感和不安来解读事情
08:11
and insecurity不安全 in the world世界, rather than an actual实际, objective目的 danger危险.
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而非真正具体的危险
08:15
Now at first, I would have believed相信 them.
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刚开始我信以为真
08:17
I remember记得, for example, sitting坐在 up one night
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还记得有一次我彻夜不眠
08:18
on guard守卫 outside my parents'父母' room房间 to protect保护 them
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守在我爸妈房门前
08:21
from what I thought was a genuine真正 threat威胁 from the voices声音.
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提防我认为那些声音很可能带来的威胁
08:24
Because I'd had such这样 a bad problem问题 with self-injury自伤
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因为在那之前我自残过好几次
08:27
that most of the cutlery刀具 in the house had been hidden,
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所以家里大部分的餐具都被藏起来
08:29
so I ended结束 up arming武装 myself with a plastic塑料 fork叉子,
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最后我拿一支塑料叉当武器
08:32
kind of like picnic野餐 ware器具, and sort分类 of satSAT outside the room房间
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就是那种野餐用的,然后坐在门外
08:34
clutching抓着 it and waiting等候 to spring弹簧 into action行动 should anything happen发生.
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把叉子夹在腋下高度戒备
08:38
It was like, "Don't mess食堂 with me.
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那情形就像说:「别惹我!」
08:40
I've got a plastic塑料 fork叉子, don't you know?"
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「你不知道我有武器吗?」
08:43
Strategic战略.
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这是我用的战术
08:44
But a later后来 response响应, and much more useful有用,
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但我随后的反应比较有效
08:47
would be to try and deconstruct解构 the message信息 behind背后 the words,
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我尝试拆解言外之意
08:51
so when the voices声音 warned警告 me not to leave离开 the house,
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所以当声音警告我不要出门
08:54
then I would thank them for drawing画画 my attention注意
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我会谢谢他们的提醒
08:56
to how unsafe不安全 I felt --
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让我注意到自己多缺乏安全感
08:57
because if I was aware知道的 of it, then I could do something positive about it --
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因有这份认知,我就可以积极面对问题
09:00
but go on to reassure再保证 both them and myself
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安抚自己及那些声音
09:03
that we were safe安全 and didn't need to feel frightened受惊 anymore.
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我们很安全,用不着害怕
09:06
I would set boundaries边界 for the voices声音,
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我会与「他们」划清界线
09:08
and try to interact相互作用 with them in a way that was assertive断言的
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试着以坚决的态度与他们沟通
09:10
yet然而 respectful尊敬的, establishing建立 a slow process处理
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但保持尊重
09:13
of communication通讯 and collaboration合作
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并放缓沟通及合作的过程
09:15
in which哪一个 we could learn学习 to work together一起 and support支持 one another另一个.
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这样「我们」才能学习共事,互相扶持
09:18
Throughout始终 all of this, what I would ultimately最终 realize实现
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经过这一切,我才恍然大悟
09:21
was that each voice语音 was closely密切 related有关
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每一个我听到的声音
09:23
to aspects方面 of myself, and that each of them
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都跟自己密切相关
09:25
carried携带的 overwhelming压倒 emotions情绪 that I'd never had
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而且都带着丰沛的情绪
09:27
an opportunity机会 to process处理 or resolve解决,
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只是我以前没机会处理那些记忆
09:30
memories回忆 of sexual有性 trauma外伤 and abuse滥用,
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像是性创伤、性虐待
09:32
of anger愤怒, shame耻辱, guilt有罪, low self-worth自我价值.
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愤怒、惭愧、罪恶感和妄自菲薄
09:35
The voices声音 took the place地点 of this pain疼痛
217
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那些声音取代了伤痛
09:38
and gave words to it,
218
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并把痛苦说出来
09:39
and possibly或者 one of the greatest最大 revelations启示
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不过最重要的启示也许是
09:41
was when I realized实现 that the most hostile敌对 and aggressive侵略性 voices声音
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当我明白那些最具敌意和侵略性的声音
09:44
actually其实 represented代表 the parts部分 of me
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其实就代表
09:46
that had been hurt伤害 most profoundly深深,
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我受伤最深的那部分
09:48
and as such这样, it was these voices声音
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因此,正是这些声音
09:50
that needed需要 to be shown显示 the greatest最大 compassion同情 and care关心.
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需要最多关爱和同情
09:53
It was armed武装 with this knowledge知识 that ultimately最终
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正是这样的领悟让我最后
09:56
I would gather收集 together一起 my shattered破灭 self,
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愿意把那些声音构成的片段拼凑起来
09:59
each fragment分段 represented代表 by a different不同 voice语音,
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找回完整的自我
10:01
gradually逐渐 withdraw收回 from all my medication药物治疗,
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并逐渐摆脱对药物的依赖
10:03
and return返回 to psychiatry精神病学, only this time from the other side.
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我又回到精神科,不过这次是研究
10:08
Ten years年份 after the voice语音 first came来了, I finally最后 graduated毕业,
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第一次听到声音已是10年前的事了
10:12
this time with the highest最高 degree in psychology心理学
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而这次我终于取得心理学最高学位!
10:14
the university大学 had ever given特定, and one year later后来,
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是我母校在该领域颁发过的最高学历
10:16
the highest最高 masters主人, which哪一个 shall we say
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对一个疯女人来说
10:18
isn't bad for a madwoman疯女.
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能取得硕士学历也不差!
10:20
In fact事实, one of the voices声音 actually其实 dictated决定 the answers答案
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老实说,考试的时候我还听到报答案的声音
10:22
during the exam考试, which哪一个 technically技术上 possibly或者 counts计数 as cheating作弊.
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这应该算作弊吧!
10:25
(Laughter笑声)
237
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(笑声)
10:27
And to be honest诚实, sometimes有时 I quite相当 enjoyed享受 their attention注意 as well.
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坦白讲,我有时还挺享受这种被「关照」的感觉
10:30
As Oscar奥斯卡 Wilde王尔德 has said, the only thing worse更差
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就像王尔德说的,唯一比被人议论更糟糕的事
10:31
than being存在 talked about is not being存在 talked about.
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就是你这人根本不值一提.
10:34
It also makes品牌 you very good at eavesdropping窃听,
241
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这经验让我非常善于偷听人讲话
10:36
because you can listen to two conversations对话 simultaneously同时.
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因为我可同时听懂两边的对话
10:39
So it's not all bad.
243
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算起来也没那么糟!
10:41
I worked工作 in mental心理 health健康 services服务,
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我在心理健康部门工作过
10:42
I spoke at conferences会议,
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2369
也在多场研讨会上发表过演讲
10:45
I published发表 book chapters and academic学术的 articles用品,
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2268
还出版过专文与书籍专章
10:47
and I argued争论, and continue继续 to do so,
247
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到目前我还在争论
10:50
the relevance关联 of the following以下 concept概念:
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接下来这个观念的关联性
10:52
that an important重要 question in psychiatry精神病学
249
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精神病诊断上,关键问题不应该是
10:54
shouldn't不能 be what's wrong错误 with you
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1543
「你哪里不对劲?」
10:56
but rather what's happened发生 to you.
251
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而是「发生甚么事了?」
10:58
And all the while, I listened听了 to my voices声音,
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这段时间我倾听那些
11:01
with whom I'd finally最后 learned学到了 to live生活 with peace和平 and respect尊重
253
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好不容易得以泰然处之的声音
11:04
and which哪一个 in turn reflected反射的 a growing生长 sense
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而这也反映出
11:06
of compassion同情, acceptance验收 and respect尊重 towards myself.
255
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我越来越能同情、接纳和尊重自己
11:10
And I remember记得 the most moving移动 and extraordinary非凡 moment时刻
256
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记得最令我感动的特别时刻是
11:13
when supporting支持 another另一个 young年轻 woman女人 who was terrorized恐吓 by her voices声音,
257
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帮助另一个被自己内心声音吓坏的年轻女性
11:16
and becoming变得 fully充分 aware知道的, for the very first time,
258
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那是我首次意识到
11:19
that I no longer felt that way myself
259
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我看待自己的方式改变了
11:21
but was finally最后 able能够 to help someone有人 else其他 who was.
260
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3724
而且还有能力帮别人突破
11:25
I'm now very proud骄傲 to be a part部分 of IntervoiceIntervoice公司,
261
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3568
身为「众声喧哗」(Intervoice) 的一员,我引以为荣!
11:29
the organizational组织 body身体 of the International国际 Hearing听力 Voices声音 Movement运动,
262
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它是国际听声组织(the International Hearing Voices Movement)的筹划单位
11:33
an initiative倡议 inspired启发 by the work of Professor教授 Marius马吕斯 Romme距离Romme
263
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3383
在Sandra Escher博士和Marius Romme教授
11:36
and Dr博士. Sandra桑德拉 Escher埃舍尔,
264
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1252
的著作启发下成立
11:37
which哪一个 locates所处 voice语音 hearing听力 as a survival生存 strategy战略,
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他们将「听到声音」视为一种生存策略
11:40
a sane明智的 reaction反应 to insane circumstances情况,
266
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一种在异常情境下的合理反应
11:44
not as an aberrant异常 symptom症状 of schizophrenia精神分裂症 to be endured忍受,
267
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不是旁人必须包容的精神分裂症状
11:47
but a complex复杂, significant重大 and meaningful富有意义的 experience经验
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反而是有待深入研究、
11:51
to be explored探讨.
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复杂、重要且有意义的经验
11:53
Together一起, we envisage设想 and enact制定 a society社会
270
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我们共同预见并推动
11:55
that understands理解 and respects尊重 voice语音 hearing听力,
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能理解尊重「听声者」的社会环境
11:58
supports支持 the needs需求 of individuals个人 who hear voices声音,
272
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支持他们的需求
12:00
and which哪一个 values them as full充分 citizens公民.
273
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把他们当享有权利的公民看待
12:04
This type类型 of society社会 is not only possible可能,
274
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2286
这种社会不但可能
12:06
it's already已经 on its way.
275
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2012
且已逐渐形成
12:08
To paraphrase意译 Chavez查韦斯, once一旦 social社会 change更改 begins开始,
276
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3794
用美国社会运动家César Chávez的话说
12:12
it cannot不能 be reversed反向的.
277
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社会变迁一旦开始便无法回头
12:14
You cannot不能 humiliate羞辱 the person who feels感觉 pride自豪.
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自重之人不会为人所羞辱
12:17
You cannot不能 oppress压迫 the people
279
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1791
无所畏惧之人
12:19
who are not afraid害怕 anymore.
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则不为人所压迫
12:21
For me, the achievements成就 of the Hearing听力 Voices声音 Movement运动
281
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对我来说,国际听声组织(IHVM)的成就
12:24
are a reminder提醒 that empathy同情, fellowship奖学金,
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2519
提醒世人同理心、友谊
12:26
justice正义 and respect尊重 are more than words;
283
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2744
正义和尊重胜过言语
12:29
they are convictions信念 and beliefs信仰,
284
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它们是坚定的信念
12:32
and that beliefs信仰 can change更改 the world世界.
285
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而信念可以改变世界
12:34
In the last 20 years年份, the Hearing听力 Voices声音 Movement运动
286
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国际听声组织在过去20年
12:37
has established既定 hearing听力 voices声音 networks网络
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已在5大洲的26国
12:39
in 26 countries国家 across横过 five continents大陆,
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建立联系管道
12:42
working加工 together一起 to promote促进 dignity尊严, solidarity团结
289
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共同致力提升承受精神折磨者的
12:45
and empowerment权力 for individuals个人 in mental心理 distress苦难,
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尊严、团结和自立能力
12:49
to create创建 a new language语言 and practice实践 of hope希望,
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希望以此塑造希望的言词与实践
12:52
which哪一个, at its very center中央, lies an unshakable不可动摇 belief信仰
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其中的核心就是
12:56
in the power功率 of the individual个人.
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对个人能力坚定不疑的信念
12:59
As Peter彼得 Levine莱文 has said, the human人的 animal动物
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美国心理医师Peter Levine说过
13:02
is a unique独特 being存在
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人类是很特别的生物
13:03
endowed天赋 with an instinctual本能 capacity容量 to heal愈合
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与生俱来就有疗愈能力
13:07
and the intellectual知识分子 spirit精神 to harness马具 this innate先天 capacity容量.
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和运用此天赋的智慧
13:11
In this respect尊重, for members会员 of society社会,
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因此,身为社会的一份子
13:13
there is no greater更大 honor荣誉 or privilege特权
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最荣幸的事
13:16
than facilitating促进 that process处理 of healing复原 for someone有人,
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莫过于帮人自我疗愈
13:18
to bear witness见证, to reach达到 out a hand,
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见证一切,伸出援手
13:21
to share分享 the burden负担 of someone's谁家 suffering痛苦,
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并分担苦痛
13:24
and to hold保持 the hope希望 for their recovery复苏.
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还要坚持人们康复的希望
13:27
And likewise同样, for survivors幸存者 of distress苦难 and adversity逆境,
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同样地,我要对那些历尽磨难的人说
13:29
that we remember记得 we don't have to live生活 our lives生活
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我们知道经历过的那些伤害
13:32
forever永远 defined定义 by the damaging有害 things that have happened发生 to us.
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不会让我们的人生就这样下去
13:36
We are unique独特. We are irreplaceable不可替代.
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我们是独一无二的
13:38
What lies within us can never be truly colonized拓殖,
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心灵无法被占据
13:41
contorted扭曲, or taken采取 away.
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扭曲或夺走
13:43
The light never goes out.
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而光明永存
13:47
As a very wonderful精彩 doctor医生 once一旦 said to me,
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如同一位名医对我说过
13:49
"Don't tell me what other people have told you about yourself你自己.
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「不要跟我说别人对你的看法!」
13:53
Tell me about you."
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「我要听你怎么看待自己!」
13:56
Thank you.
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谢谢!
13:58
(Applause掌声)
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(掌声响起)
Translated by Samson Zhong
Reviewed by HANJINGJING PU

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Eleanor Longden - Research psychologist
Eleanor Longden overcame her diagnosis of schizophrenia to earn a master’s in psychology and demonstrate that the voices in her head were “a sane reaction to insane circumstances.”

Why you should listen
Despite what traditional medicine may opine, Eleanor Longden isn’t crazy -- and neither are many other people who hear voices in their heads. In fact, the psychic phenomenon is a “creative and ingenious survival strategy” that should be seen “not as an abstract symptom of illness to be endured, but as complex, significant, and meaningful experience to be explored,” the British psychology researcher says.
 
Longden spent many years in the psychiatric system before earning a BSc and an MSc in psychology, the highest classifications ever granted by the University of Leeds, England. Today she is studying for her PhD, and lectures and writes about recovery-oriented approaches to psychosis, dissociation and complex trauma.
More profile about the speaker
Eleanor Longden | Speaker | TED.com