ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Helen Fisher - Anthropologist, expert on love
Anthropologist Helen Fisher studies gender differences and the evolution of human emotions. She’s best known as an expert on romantic love.

Why you should listen

Fisher's several books lay bare the mysteries of our most treasured emotion: its evolution, its biochemical foundations and its vital importance to human society. Fisher describes love as a universal human drive (stronger than the sex drive; stronger than thirst or hunger; stronger perhaps than the will to live), and her many areas of inquiry shed light on timeless human mysteries like why we choose one partner over another. Her classic study, Anatomy of Love, first published in 1992, has just been re-issued in a fully updated edition, including her recent neuroimaging research on lust, romantic love and attachment as well as discussions of sexting, hooking up, friends with benefits, other contemporary trends in courtship and marriage, and a dramatic current trend she calls “slow love.”

More profile about the speaker
Helen Fisher | Speaker | TED.com
TED2008

Helen Fisher: The brain in love

Helen Fisher studies the brain in love

Filmed:
6,472,519 views

为什么我们对爱情设那么地渴望,甚至会为它而死?为了探明我们对于爱情最本质的需求,海伦·费舍尔和她的研究团队对恋爱中的和失恋的人们进行了MRI测试。
- Anthropologist, expert on love
Anthropologist Helen Fisher studies gender differences and the evolution of human emotions. She’s best known as an expert on romantic love. Full bio

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00:19
I and my colleagues同事 Art艺术 Aron阿隆 and Lucy露西 Brown棕色 and others其他,
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我和阿尔特.阿伦、露西.布朗还有其他同事
00:22
have put 37 people who are madly发狂 in love
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对37位处在恋爱不同阶段的人的大脑
00:24
into a functional实用 MRIMRI brain scanner扫描器.
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进行了核磁共振测试,
00:27
17 who were happily高高兴兴 in love, 15 who had just been dumped,
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其中17位正享受爱情带来的幸福,而15位则刚刚被甩。
00:30
and we're just starting开始 our third第三 experiment实验:
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我们刚刚开始第三项实验:
00:33
studying研究 people who report报告 that they're still in love
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研究那些在10到25年后
00:35
after 10 to 25 years年份 of marriage婚姻.
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仍然处在爱恋中的人们,
00:38
So, this is the short story故事 of that research研究.
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接下来是关于这项研究的一些介绍。
00:41
In the jungles丛林 of Guatemala危地马拉, in Tikal蒂卡尔, stands站立 a temple寺庙.
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在危地马拉的丛林深处的提卡尔,矗立着一座神庙。
00:47
It was built内置 by the grandest宏伟的 Sun太阳 King国王,
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它由史上最显贵的太阳王建造,
00:49
of the grandest宏伟的 city-state市,州,
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位于最壮丽的城邦,
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of the grandest宏伟的 civilization文明 of the Americas美洲, the Mayas玛雅人.
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代表着美洲最伟大的古文明——玛雅。
00:55
His name名称 was JasawJasaw Chan K'awiilK'awiil.
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这位君王,名曰Jasaw Chan K'awiil,
00:59
He stood站在 over six feet tall.
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他体型魁梧,
01:01
He lived生活 into his 80s,
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并活到了八十余岁,
01:03
and he was buried隐藏 beneath下面 this monument纪念碑 in 720 AD广告.
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在公元720葬于提卡尔神庙。
01:08
And Mayan玛雅 inscriptions铭文 proclaim宣布
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按照玛雅碑文的说法,
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that he was deeply in love with his wife妻子.
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他深爱着他的妻子。
01:11
So, he built内置 a temple寺庙 in her honor荣誉, facing面对 his.
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他为妻子修建了一座神庙,正对着提卡尔神庙。
01:16
And every一切 spring弹簧 and autumn秋季, exactly究竟 at the equinox春分,
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每到春分或秋分,
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the sun太阳 rises上升 behind背后 his temple寺庙,
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太阳在提卡尔神庙后升起,
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and perfectly完美 bathes沐浴 her temple寺庙 with his shadow阴影.
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而他妻子的神庙便浸浴在拖长的影子中。
01:27
And as the sun太阳 sets behind背后 her temple寺庙 in the afternoon下午,
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到了下午落日之时,
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it perfectly完美 bathes沐浴 his temple寺庙 with her shadow阴影.
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他妻子的神庙的影子也会完全遮罩在提卡尔神庙上。
01:34
After 1,300 years年份, these two lovers情侣
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直到1300年后的今天,
01:38
still touch触摸 and kiss from their tomb.
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这对恋人的陵墓依旧互相拥抱、亲吻。
01:41
Around the world世界, people love.
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世界各地的人都有不同的爱情。
01:44
They sing for love, they dance舞蹈 for love,
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人们为爱情歌唱,人们因爱情起舞,
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they compose撰写 poems and stories故事 about love.
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人们通过诗赋和故事来抒发爱情。
01:50
They tell myths神话 and legends传说 about love.
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人们讲述关于爱情的神话和传说。
01:52
They pine松树 for love, they live生活 for love,
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人们渴望爱情,因爱而生,
01:56
they kill for love, and they die for love.
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人们为爱着迷,甚至为爱而死。
01:58
As Walt沃尔特 Whitman惠特曼 once一旦 said,
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沃尔特.惠特曼曾说过:
02:00
he said, "Oh, I would stake赌注 all for you."
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“我愿意为你赌上我的一切!”
02:03
Anthropologists人类学家 have found发现 evidence证据 of romantic浪漫 love in 170 societies社会.
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人类学家在170个社会中发现了爱情存在的证据。
02:08
They've他们已经 never found发现 a society社会 that did not have it.
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爱情普遍地存在于每一个人类社会。
02:11
But love isn't always a happy快乐 experience经验.
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但爱情并不总是愉快的经历。
02:14
In one study研究 of college学院 students学生们,
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在一项针对大学生的调查中,
02:16
they asked a lot of questions问题 about love,
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他们提出了很多关于爱情的问题,
02:18
but the two that stood站在 out to me the most were,
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其中的两个特别让我印象深刻,
02:21
"Have you ever been rejected拒绝 by somebody who you really loved喜爱?"
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一个是“你曾经被你真心爱着的人拒绝过吗?”
02:26
And the second第二 question was,
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而另一个则是
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"Have you ever dumped somebody who really loved喜爱 you?"
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“你曾经拒绝过真心爱着你的人吗?”
02:31
And almost几乎 95 percent百分 of both men男人 and women妇女 said yes to both.
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对于这两个问题,有95%的人作出了肯定的答复。
02:36
Almost几乎 nobody没有人 gets得到 out of love alive.
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要活着走出爱情几乎是不可能的。
02:40
So, before I start开始 telling告诉 you about the brain,
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那么,在开始讲述关于大脑的事情前,
02:43
I want to read for you
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我要读一段
02:45
what I think is the most powerful强大 love poem on Earth地球.
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在我看来最富深情的情诗。
02:48
There's other love poems that are, of course课程, just as good,
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当然,很多情诗都很不错,
02:50
but I don't think this one can be surpassed超越.
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但我认为它们都无法超越这首。
02:52
It was told by an anonymous匿名 Kwakiutl夸扣特尔 Indian印度人 of southern南部的 Alaska阿拉斯加州
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在1896年的南阿拉斯加,一位不知名的夸扣特尔印第安人
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to a missionary传教士 in 1896, and here it is.
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把它讲述给了一名传教士。
03:02
I've never had the opportunity机会 to say it before.
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这是我第一次当众读它。
03:06
"Fire runs运行 through通过 my body身体 with the pain疼痛 of loving爱心 you.
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“爱你之痛如熊熊烈焰穿透我的身体;
03:09
Pain疼痛 runs运行 through通过 my body身体 with the fires火灾 of my love for you.
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对你如火一般的热恋让疼痛贯穿我的身体。
03:14
Pain疼痛 like a boil about to burst爆裂 with my love for you,
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痛楚如沸水,饱含我对你的爱,
03:17
consumed消费 by fire with my love for you.
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爱的火焰将其蒸发殆尽。
03:21
I remember记得 what you said to me.
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我仍记得你对我说的话,
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I am thinking思维 of your love for me.
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我想着你对我的爱,
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I am torn撕裂 by your love for me.
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它将我的躯体撕裂。
03:27
Pain疼痛 and more pain疼痛 --
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疼痛,更多的疼痛,
03:30
where are you going with my love?
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你要把我的爱带至何处?
03:31
I am told you will go from here.
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你对我说,你将从这里出发;
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I am told you will leave离开 me here.
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你对我说,你将在这儿把我遗弃。
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My body身体 is numb麻木 with grief哀思.
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我因此悲痛,因此失去知觉。
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Remember记得 what I said, my love.
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带上我的只言片语,我的爱人!
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Goodbye再见, my love, goodbye再见."
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再见,吾爱,再见!
03:44
Emily艾米莉 Dickinson迪金森 once一旦 wrote,
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艾米莉.狄金森曾写道,
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"Parting离别 is all we need to know of hell地狱."
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“人因离别而品尝地狱”
03:50
How many许多 people have suffered遭遇
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在人类百万余年的进化过程中,
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in all the millions百万 of years年份 of human人的 evolution演化?
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有多少人曾遭受这样的痛苦?
03:56
How many许多 people around the world世界
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而此时此刻,
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are dancing跳舞 with elation高昂 at this very minute分钟?
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世界各地又有多少人在尽情跳舞?
04:02
Romantic浪漫 love is one of the most powerful强大 sensations感觉 on Earth地球.
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爱情是世上最有力的感情。
04:05
So, several一些 years年份 ago, I decided决定 to look into the brain
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所以多年之前,我决定研究
04:09
and study研究 this madness疯狂.
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大脑中的这种狂热的情感。
04:13
Our first study研究 of people who were happily高高兴兴 in love
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我们第一项对处在幸福爱恋中的人们的研究
04:15
has been widely广泛 publicized公示,
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得到了很好地宣传,
04:16
so I'm only going to say a very little about it.
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因此我只简短地介绍一下。
04:19
We found发现 activity活动 in a tiny, little factory near the base基础 of the brain
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我们发现在大脑底部附近有一块活跃的微小的区域
04:23
called the ventral腹的 tegmental被盖 area.
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——腹侧背盖区。
04:25
We found发现 activity活动 in some cells细胞 called the A10 cells细胞,
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其中活跃的细胞称为ApEn细胞。
04:28
cells细胞 that actually其实 make dopamine多巴胺, a natural自然 stimulant刺激物,
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实际上,这种细胞制造了多巴胺——一种天然的兴奋剂,
04:31
and spray喷雾 it to many许多 brain regions地区.
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并将它散发到大脑的众多区域。
04:33
Indeed确实, this part部分, the VTAVTA, is part部分 of the brain's大脑的 reward奖励 system系统.
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准确地说来,这里腹侧背盖区是大脑奖励系统的一部分。
04:37
It's way below下面 your cognitive认知 thinking思维 process处理.
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它运作在潜意识中,
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It's below下面 your emotions情绪.
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也不受情绪控制。
04:42
It's part部分 of what we call the reptilian爬虫类的 core核心 of the brain,
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腹侧背盖区也是被我们称作爬虫类脑核的部分。
04:45
associated相关 with wanting希望, with motivation动机,
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它关系到欲求、动机、
04:48
with focus焦点 and with craving.
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专注和渴望。
04:50
In fact事实, the same相同 brain region地区 where we found发现 activity活动
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事实上,这一片区域
04:53
becomes active活性 also when you feel the rush of cocaine可卡因.
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在可卡因瘾发作时也会活跃起来。
04:57
But romantic浪漫 love is much more than a cocaine可卡因 high --
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但比起可卡因,爱情让它更加活跃——
05:00
at least最小 you come down from cocaine可卡因.
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至少你还能从可卡因中回过神来。
05:03
Romantic浪漫 love is an obsession困扰. It possesses拥有 you.
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爱情萦绕于心,占据着你。
05:06
You lose失去 your sense of self.
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你失去自我意识,
05:07
You can't stop thinking思维 about another另一个 human人的 being存在.
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不能自主地去想他
05:11
Somebody is camping露营 in your head.
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——他一直盘踞在你脑中。
05:13
As an eighth-century八世纪 Japanese日本 poet诗人 said,
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就如8世纪的一位日本诗人所说,
05:16
"My longing渴望 had no time when it ceases停止."
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“我的渴求永不停止。”
05:19
Wild野生 is love.
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爱情是狂热的。
05:22
And the obsession困扰 can get worse更差 when you've been rejected拒绝.
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当你被抛弃之后,牵挂会更深。
05:25
So, right now, Lucy露西 Brown棕色 and I, the neuroscientist神经学家 on our project项目,
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我和项目组中的神经系统学家露西.布朗
05:30
are looking at the data数据 of the people
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当下正在研究
05:32
who were put into the machine after they had just been dumped.
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被抛弃的人们的核磁共振测试数据。
05:36
It was very difficult actually其实,
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但说服他们
05:38
putting these people in the machine,
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进行测验实在是困难,
05:39
because they were in such这样 bad shape形状.
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因为他们心情实在是太糟了。
05:40
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
05:45
So anyway无论如何, we found发现 activity活动 in three brain regions地区.
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总之,我们在大脑中发现了三个与之有关的区域。
05:47
We found发现 activity活动 in the brain region地区,
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我们在那块大脑区域,
05:50
in exactly究竟 the same相同 brain region地区
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也就是腹侧背盖区,
05:52
associated相关 with intense激烈 romantic浪漫 love.
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找到了与热恋相关的大脑活动。
05:54
What a bad deal合同.
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这是多么坏的事情啊!
05:56
You know, when you've been dumped,
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当你被甩之后,
05:58
the one thing you love to do is just forget忘记 about this human人的 being存在,
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你会想着要忘掉他,
06:00
and then go on with your life --
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并继续你的正常生活,
06:01
but no, you just love them harder更难.
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但事与愿违,你只会更爱他了。
06:04
As the poet诗人 Terence特伦斯, the Roman罗马 poet诗人 once一旦 said,
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就像罗马诗人特伦斯曾说过的:
06:09
he said, "The less my hope希望, the hotter my love."
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“我的祈求越少,我的爱情便越炽烈。”
06:11
And indeed确实, we now know why.
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时至今日,我们知道这是为什么了。
06:14
Two thousand years年份 later后来, we can explain说明 this in the brain.
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2000年后的今天,我们能够解释大脑中的这一过程。
06:17
That brain system系统 -- the reward奖励 system系统
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大脑中的奖赏系统
06:20
for wanting希望, for motivation动机, for craving, for focus焦点 --
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与欲望、动机、渴望和专注有关,
06:24
becomes more active活性 when you can't get what you want.
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它在你不能得到你所要的时,反而变得更加活跃。
06:27
In this case案件, life's人生 greatest最大 prize:
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倘若如此,生命中最大的奖赏即是:
06:29
an appropriate适当 mating交配 partner伙伴.
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一个适当的约会对象。
06:32
We found发现 activity活动 in other brain regions地区 also --
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我们发现大脑中
06:34
in a brain region地区 associated相关 with calculating计算 gains收益 and losses损失.
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计算得失的区域也与爱情有关。
06:39
You know, you're lying说谎 there, you're looking at the picture图片,
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测试者躺在核磁共振仪中,
06:41
and you're in this machine,
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看着昔日爱人的照片,
06:42
and you're calculating计算, you know, what went wrong错误.
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然后开始回想到底是什么出错了。
06:46
How, you know, what have I lost丢失?
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我失去了什么?
06:48
As a matter of fact事实, Lucy露西 and I have a little joke玩笑 about this.
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事实上,露西和我对此开过一些玩笑。
06:51
It comes from a David大卫 Mamet马梅 play,
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在大卫.梅米特的一部剧中,
06:55
and there's two con artists艺术家 in the play,
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有两个行骗高手,
06:56
and the woman女人 is conning精读 the man,
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其中女士在勾引男士,
06:59
and the man looks容貌 at the woman女人 and says,
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于是他看着那位女士说:
07:00
"Oh, you're a bad pony小马, I'm not going to bet赌注 on you."
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“你真调皮,我是不会犯错的。”
07:06
And indeed确实, it's this part部分 of the brain,
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当你在计算得失时,
07:08
the core核心 of the nucleus accumbens, actually其实, that is becoming变得 active活性
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大脑中的这部分——伏隔核的核心
07:11
as you're measuring测量 your gains收益 and losses损失.
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变得活跃起来。
07:13
It's also the brain region地区 that becomes active活性
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当你要因为得到或失去
07:16
when you're willing愿意 to take enormous巨大 risks风险
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而去冒巨大的风险时,
07:18
for huge巨大 gains收益 and huge巨大 losses损失.
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它也会变得活跃。
07:21
Last but not least最小, we found发现 activity活动 in a brain region地区
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最后,我们还在一块区域中
07:24
associated相关 with deep attachment附件 to another另一个 individual个人.
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发现了与深度依恋有关的大脑活动。
07:29
No wonder奇迹 people suffer遭受 around the world世界,
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难怪世界各地的人们都遭受着痛苦,
07:33
and we have so many许多 crimes犯罪 of passion.
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难怪我们中这么多人被负心的情人伤害
07:36
When you've been rejected拒绝 in love,
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当你被爱抛弃时,
07:37
not only are you engulfed吞没 with feelings情怀 of romantic浪漫 love,
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你不仅被对爱情的渴望吞没,
07:41
but you're feeling感觉 deep attachment附件 to this individual个人.
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而且感到对他深深的依恋。
07:44
Moreover此外, this brain circuit电路 for reward奖励 is working加工,
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此外,大脑的奖赏回路开始工作,
07:47
and you're feeling感觉 intense激烈 energy能源, intense激烈 focus焦点,
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这使得你感到强烈的精力,强烈的专注,
07:51
intense激烈 motivation动机 and the willingness愿意 to risk风险 it all
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强烈的干劲,和想要不顾一切地
07:55
to win赢得 life's人生 greatest最大 prize.
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赢得生命中最高奖赏的愿望。
07:59
So, what have I learned学到了 from this experiment实验
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那么,关于这次实验,
08:02
that I would like to tell the world世界?
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我又有什么样的体会要分享给全世界呢?
08:04
Foremost最重要的, I have come to think
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最重要的一点,我的结论是
08:06
that romantic浪漫 love is a drive驾驶, a basic基本 mating交配 drive驾驶.
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爱情是人类最基本的寻求配对的冲动。
08:09
Not the sex性别 drive驾驶 -- the sex性别 drive驾驶 gets得到 you out there,
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这不是性冲动——性冲动让你寻找
08:11
looking for a whole整个 range范围 of partners伙伴.
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能够成为性伴侣的人。
08:13
Romantic浪漫 love enables使 you to focus焦点 your mating交配 energy能源
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而爱情让你同时只对一个人产生配对的冲动,
08:16
on just one at a time, conserve养护 your mating交配 energy能源,
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并节制地使用它,
08:19
and start开始 the mating交配 process处理 with this single individual个人.
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开始同他恋爱。
08:22
I think of all the poetry诗歌 that I've read about romantic浪漫 love,
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我脑海中浮现出读过的所有关于爱情的诗篇,
08:26
what sums总和 it up best最好 is something that is said by Plato柏拉图,
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其中最适合概括这一点的是
08:30
over 2,000 years年份 ago.
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2000多年前的诗人柏拉图的一首诗,
08:32
He said, "The god of love lives生活 in a state of need.
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“爱神栖于爱欲之国。
08:36
It is a need. It is an urge敦促.
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爱是欲求,是冲动,
08:39
It is a homeostatic稳态 imbalance失调.
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是恒久的失衡。
08:42
Like hunger饥饿 and thirst口渴, it's almost几乎 impossible不可能 to stamp邮票 out."
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如饥似渴,不能熄灭。”
08:46
I've also come to believe that romantic浪漫 love is an addiction:
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我同样也相信爱情让人成瘾:
08:50
a perfectly完美 wonderful精彩 addiction when it's going well,
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爱若甜蜜,人们沉溺其中;
08:52
and a perfectly完美 horrible可怕 addiction when it's going poorly不好.
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爱若苦涩,人们深陷其中,难以自拔。
08:56
And indeed确实, it has all of the characteristics特点 of addiction.
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确然,爱情拥有成瘾的所有特征,
08:59
You focus焦点 on the person, you obsessively痴迷 think about them,
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你专注于他,执念于他,
09:02
you crave渴望 them, you distort歪曲 reality现实,
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渴望得到他,并扭曲现实,
09:05
your willingness愿意 to take enormous巨大 risks风险 to win赢得 this person.
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愿不顾一切以赢得他的爱。
09:08
And it's got the three main主要 characteristics特点 of addiction:
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成瘾的三个主要特征也在爱情上得以体现:
09:10
tolerance公差, you need to see them more, and more, and more;
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首先是耐受性——你总是想要得到更多以维持最初的感觉,
09:14
withdrawals取款; and last, relapse复发.
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而后耐受性消退,最后又复发。
09:16
I've got a girlfriend女朋友 who's谁是 just getting得到 over a terrible可怕 love affair事务.
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我的一位女朋友刚从一段痛苦的恋情中恢复过来,
09:20
It's been about eight months个月, she's beginning开始 to feel better.
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经过了八个月,她终于好多了。
09:22
And she was driving主动 along沿 in her car汽车 the other day,
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这之后的一天,她正开着车,
09:25
and suddenly突然 she heard听说 a song歌曲 on the car汽车 radio无线电
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收音机里的一首歌
09:27
that reminded提醒 her of this man.
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让她又想起了那个男人。
09:29
And she -- not only did the instant瞬间 craving come back,
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于是,瞬时的渴望充满全身,
09:32
but she had to pull over
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她控制不住情绪,把车停在路边,
09:34
from the side of the road and cry.
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大哭了一场。
09:36
So, one thing I would like the medical community社区,
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因此,我希望医学界、
09:38
and the legal法律 community社区, and even the college学院 community社区,
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法学界和高教界
09:41
to see if they can understand理解, that indeed确实,
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都关注到上述这一点:
09:44
romantic浪漫 love is one of the most addictive上瘾 substances物质 on Earth地球.
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爱情确实是世界上最让人成瘾的东西。
09:48
I would also like to tell the world世界 that animals动物 love.
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我还想分享一下关于动物爱情的故事。
09:52
There's not an animal动物 on this planet行星
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世界上任何一种动物
09:53
that will copulate with anything that comes along沿.
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都不会饥不择食地寻找活物进行交配。
09:56
Too old, too young年轻, too scruffy邋遢, too stupid, and they won't惯于 do it.
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太老的、太年轻的、太脏的或是太蠢笨的,它们都不会选择。
10:01
Unless除非 you're stuck卡住 in a laboratory实验室 cage --
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除非你把它们关在实验室的笼子里——
10:04
and you know, if you spend your entire整个 life in a little box,
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当然,如果你在笼子里度过一生,
10:07
you're not going to be as picky挑剔 about who you have sex性别 with --
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也不会那么挑食了。
10:11
but I've looked看着 in a hundred species种类,
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在调查了一百个物种后,
10:13
and everywhere到处 in the wild野生, animals动物 have favorites最爱.
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我发现野外的每一个角落,每一只动物都有各自的心之归属。
10:17
As a matter of fact事实 ethologists动物行为学家 know this.
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事实上,生态学家知道这些。
10:19
There are over eight words for what they call "animal动物 favoritism偏爱:"
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用四个词可以概括动物各自的偏爱:
10:23
selective可选择的 proceptivityproceptivity, mate伴侣 choice选择, female choice选择, sexual有性 choice选择.
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选择性感知,配偶选择,雌性选择,性选择。
10:28
And indeed确实, there are now three academic学术的 articles用品
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这儿有三篇学术文章
10:31
in which哪一个 they've他们已经 looked看着 at this attraction引力,
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涉及到了这种吸引力。
10:34
which哪一个 may可能 only last for a second第二,
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虽然这种吸引力也许只维持一秒,
10:36
but it's a definite attraction引力,
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但它确实是存在的。
10:37
and either this same相同 brain region地区, this reward奖励 system系统,
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而且牵涉到大脑中到腹侧背盖区和奖赏系统
10:41
or the chemicals化学制品 of that reward奖励 system系统 are involved参与.
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(更确切的说是奖赏系统中的相关化学物质)。
10:44
In fact事实, I think animal动物 attraction引力 can be instant瞬间 --
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事实上,我相信动物间的吸引力是可以即刻产生的——
10:47
you can see an elephant instantly即刻 go for another另一个 elephant.
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我们能看到,大象有时会突然被另一头大象吸引。
10:50
And I think that this is really the origin起源
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我相信这就是我们所说的
10:52
of what you and I call "love at first sight视力."
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“一见钟情”的源头。
10:54
People have often经常 asked me whether是否
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人们常问我是不是
10:59
what I know about love has spoiled it for me.
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因为研究爱情太多而没了爱的兴致。
11:02
And I just simply只是 say, "Hardly几乎不."
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这基本是不可能的。
11:04
You can know every一切 single ingredient成分 in a piece of chocolate巧克力 cake蛋糕,
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就如同在了解一块巧克力蛋糕中的所有成份后,
11:07
and then when you sit down and eat that cake蛋糕,
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我仍然能够品味
11:10
you can still feel that joy喜悦.
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吃蛋糕的乐趣。
11:12
And certainly当然, I make all the same相同 mistakes错误
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我也同样会
11:14
that everybody每个人 else其他 does too,
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犯大家都会犯的错,
11:16
but it's really deepened加深 my understanding理解
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但这些经历加深了我的对爱情的理解,
11:20
and compassion同情, really, for all human人的 life.
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并让我对所有人都更有爱心。
11:24
As a matter of fact事实, in New York纽约, I often经常 catch抓住 myself
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比如,我在纽约时,
11:27
looking in baby宝宝 carriages车厢 and feeling感觉 a little sorry for the tot合计.
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常看着婴儿车里的小孩,并感到一丝同情。
11:31
And in fact事实, sometimes有时 I feel a little sorry
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有时,当想到大脑是多么富有感情,
11:34
for the chicken on my dinner晚餐 plate盘子,
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我会对餐桌上的鸡
11:35
when I think of how intense激烈 this brain system系统 is.
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抱有歉意。
11:41
Our newest最新 experiment实验 has been hatched孵化
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我们最近的实验
11:46
by my colleague同事, Art艺术 Aron阿隆 --
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由我的同事阿尔特.阿伦操作进行,
11:48
putting people who are reporting报告 that they are still in love,
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内容是对长期相处后仍能够保持相恋的情侣们
11:51
in a long-term长期 relationship关系, into the functional实用 MRIMRI.
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进行核磁共振测试。
11:55
We've我们已经 put five people in so far,
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至此,我们一共测试了5对这样的情侣,
11:57
and indeed确实, we found发现 exactly究竟 the same相同 thing. They're not lying说谎.
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并发现了他们共同的特点。
12:02
The brain areas
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在他们相恋25年后,
12:06
associated相关 with intense激烈 romantic浪漫 love
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他们大脑中与热恋相关的区域
12:08
still become成为 active活性, 25 years年份 later后来.
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仍然保持活跃。
12:12
There are still many许多 questions问题 to be answered回答
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关于爱情
12:15
and asked about romantic浪漫 love.
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还有很多未解开的迷。
12:18
The question that I'm working加工 on right this minute分钟 --
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现在我简短地说一下
12:19
and I'm only going to say it for a second第二, and then end结束 --
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我正研究问题:
12:22
is, why do you fall秋季 in love with one person, rather than another另一个?
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为什么你会爱上他,而不是别人?
12:26
I never would have even thought to think of this,
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原本我并没有想要去思考这个问题,
12:29
but Match比赛.comCOM, the Internet-dating互联网约会 site现场,
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但在三年前,一个约会网站Match.com找到我,
12:31
came来了 to me three years年份 ago and asked me that question.
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并问了我这个问题。
12:33
And I said, I don't know.
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我只能说“我不知道”。
12:35
I know what happens发生 in the brain, when you do become成为 in love,
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我所知道的是人们恋爱时,大脑中到底发生了什么,
12:38
but I don't know why you fall秋季 in love with one person
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但我却不知道
12:40
rather than another另一个.
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为什么他就是你命中注定的爱人。
12:41
And so, I've spent花费 the last three years年份 on this.
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所以,这三年我都在思考这个问题。
12:45
And there are many许多 reasons原因 that you fall秋季 in love with one person
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心理学家告诉我们
12:47
rather than another另一个, that psychologists心理学家 can tell you.
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一定有很多原因使你爱上他,而不是另一个人。
12:49
And we tend趋向 to fall秋季 in love with somebody
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我们会倾向于
12:50
from the same相同 socioeconomic社会经济 background背景,
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在同等的社会、经济背景,
12:53
the same相同 general一般 level水平 of intelligence情报,
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同样智力水平,
12:54
the same相同 general一般 level水平 of good looks容貌,
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同等的相貌,
12:56
the same相同 religious宗教 values.
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以及相同的宗教信仰中找到自己的爱人。
12:58
Your childhood童年 certainly当然 plays播放 a role角色, but nobody没有人 knows知道 how.
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而童年的经历也会影响人们的爱情,但如何作用却无人知晓。
13:01
And that's about it, that's all they know.
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就是这些,心理学家知道的只有这些。
13:03
No, they've他们已经 never found发现 the way two personalities个性
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而且,他们不知道在良好的关系中,
13:06
fit适合 together一起 to make a good relationship关系.
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双方的人格是如何配合的。
13:09
So, it began开始 to occur发生 to me
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因此,我开始思考
13:11
that maybe your biology生物学 pulls you
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为什么我们接近这一群人,而不是其他人,
13:13
towards some people rather than another另一个.
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这是不是有生物上的解释。
13:16
And I have concocted炮制 a questionnaire调查问卷 to see to what degree
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为此,我做了一份问卷调查,
13:20
you express表现 dopamine多巴胺, serotonin血清素, estrogen雌激素 and testosterone睾酮.
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以探明人们如何显现多巴胺、血清素、雌激素和睾丸激素的性状。
13:25
I think we've我们已经 evolved进化 four very broad广阔 personality个性 types类型
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我相信这四种物质在大脑中的不同配比
13:28
associated相关 with the ratios of these four chemicals化学制品 in the brain.
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让人类演化出了四种非常普遍的人格类型。
13:32
And on this dating约会 site现场 that I have created创建,
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所以我在Mating.com上创建了一个子站:Chemistry.com。
13:34
called Chemistry化学.comCOM, I ask you first a series系列 of questions问题
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第一部分的问题
13:40
to see to what degree you express表现 these chemicals化学制品,
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用来确认上述四种物质在你的大脑中是如何显现性状的。
13:43
and I'm watching观看 who chooses who to love.
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最后网站记录下是谁选择了谁。
13:47
And 3.7 million百万 people have taken采取 the questionnaire调查问卷 in America美国.
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总共有370万美国人和
13:50
About 600,000 people have taken采取 it in 33 other countries国家.
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60万来自其他33个国家的人做了这项测试。
13:56
I'm putting the data数据 together一起 now,
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我正在对测试数据进行整理。
13:57
and at some point -- there will always be magic魔法 to love,
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一定程度上,爱情总是神秘的,
14:00
but I think I will come closer接近 to understanding理解
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但我相信我会逐步接近问题的答案——
14:03
why it is you can walk步行 into a room房间
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当你走进一间房间时,
14:06
and everybody每个人 is from your background背景,
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每一个人都是和你同样的背景,
14:08
your same相同 general一般 level水平 of intelligence情报,
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你们处在同样的智力水平上,
14:10
your same相同 general一般 level水平 of good looks容貌,
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你们有同等的相貌,
14:11
and you don't feel pulled towards all of them.
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但为什么你不会被所有这些人所吸引?
14:14
I think there's biology生物学 to that.
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我认为这一定有生物学上的解释。
14:16
I think we're going to end结束 up, in the next下一个 few少数 years年份,
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我想几年之内
14:19
to understand理解 all kinds of brain mechanisms机制
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我们就可以理解大脑
14:21
that pull us to one person rather than another另一个.
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是如何让我们找到我们唯一爱的人。
14:24
So, I will close with this. These are my older旧的 people.
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那样,我就更接近答案了。 这是我的父母。
14:30
Faulkner福克纳 once一旦 said, "The past过去 is not dead,
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福克纳曾说过:“过去未曾消逝,
14:33
it's not even the past过去."
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它们还留在心中。”
14:34
Indeed确实, we carry携带 a lot of luggage行李
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确实是这样,我们把从过去带来的大量的行李
14:37
from our yesteryear去年 in the human人的 brain.
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堆放在大脑中。
14:40
And so, there's one thing
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我心里总存在一种力量,
14:41
that makes品牌 me pursue追求 my understanding理解 of human人的 nature性质,
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让我想要理解人性,
14:48
and this reminds提醒 me of it.
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而这也让我想到了这幅照片。
14:50
These are two women妇女.
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这是两个女人。
14:51
Women妇女 tend趋向 to get intimacy亲密关系 differently不同 than men男人 do.
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女人们倾向于更亲昵的言行而不像男人们那样。
14:54
Women妇女 get intimacy亲密关系 from face-to-face面对面 talking.
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女人们从面对面的交谈中获得了亲切感,
14:56
We swivel旋转 towards each other,
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我们转向对方,
14:58
we do what we call the "anchoring锚固 gaze凝视" and we talk.
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并在交谈中注视着对方。
15:02
This is intimacy亲密关系 to women妇女.
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这就是女性相互理解的方式。
15:04
I think it comes from millions百万 of years年份
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我想这是源于长久的进化岁月中,
15:05
of holding保持 that baby宝宝 in front面前 of your face面对,
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女人总是把婴儿抱在面前,
15:07
cajoling哄骗 it, reprimanding申斥 it, educating教育 it with words.
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哄他们、训诫他们、教导他们。
15:10
Men男人 tend趋向 to get intimacy亲密关系 from side-by-side并排侧 doing.
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而男人们总是在侧坐的交谈中找到亲切感。
15:14
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
15:15
As soon不久 as one guy looks容貌 up, the other guy will look away.
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当一个人看着对方时,另一个人会望向别处。
15:18
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
15:20
I think it comes from millions百万 of years年份
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我想这源自远古时期,
15:22
of standing常设 behind背后 that -- sitting坐在 behind背后 the bush衬套,
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男人们藏在灌木丛中,
15:25
looking straight直行 ahead,
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看着前方,
15:27
trying to hit击中 that buffalo水牛 on the head with a rock.
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并想着用手中的石块砸向野牛的头。
15:29
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
15:30
I think, for millions百万 of years年份, men男人 faced面对 their enemies敌人,
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在数万年的人类历史中,男人们和朋友坐在一起,
15:32
they satSAT side by side with friends朋友.
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一起面对共同敌人。
15:35
So my final最后 statement声明 is: love is in us.
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所以我的主张是:爱就在我们心中。
15:39
It's deeply embedded嵌入式 in the brain.
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它深深地扎根在大脑中。
15:42
Our challenge挑战 is to understand理解 each other. Thank you.
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理解对方是我们所追求的目标。谢谢大家!
15:45
(Applause掌声)
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(掌声)
Translated by lawrence abele
Reviewed by Zoe Chen

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Helen Fisher - Anthropologist, expert on love
Anthropologist Helen Fisher studies gender differences and the evolution of human emotions. She’s best known as an expert on romantic love.

Why you should listen

Fisher's several books lay bare the mysteries of our most treasured emotion: its evolution, its biochemical foundations and its vital importance to human society. Fisher describes love as a universal human drive (stronger than the sex drive; stronger than thirst or hunger; stronger perhaps than the will to live), and her many areas of inquiry shed light on timeless human mysteries like why we choose one partner over another. Her classic study, Anatomy of Love, first published in 1992, has just been re-issued in a fully updated edition, including her recent neuroimaging research on lust, romantic love and attachment as well as discussions of sexting, hooking up, friends with benefits, other contemporary trends in courtship and marriage, and a dramatic current trend she calls “slow love.”

More profile about the speaker
Helen Fisher | Speaker | TED.com