ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Bruce Feiler - Writer
Bruce Feiler is the author of "The Secrets of Happy Families," and the writer/presenter of the PBS miniseries "Walking the Bible."

Why you should listen

Bruce Feiler is the author of nine books, including Walking the BibleAbraham, and America’s Prophet. He is also the writer/presenter of the PBS miniseries Walking the Bible. His book The Council of Dads tells the uplifting story of how friendship and community can help one survive life’s greatest challenges. Most recently Feiler published The Secrets of Happy Families, in which he calls for a new approach to family dynamics, inspired by cutting-edge techniques gathered from experts in the disciplines of science, business, sports and the military.

Feiler’s early books involve immersing himself in different cultures and bringing other worlds vividly to life. These include Learning to Bow, an account of the year he spent teaching in rural Japan; Looking for Class, about life inside Oxford and Cambridge; and Under the Big Top, which depicts the year he spent performing as a clown in the Clyde Beatty-Cole Bros. Circus.
 
Walking the Bible describes his perilous, 10,000-mile journey retracing the Five Books of Moses through the desert. The book was hailed as an “instant classic” by the Washington Post and “thoughtful, informed, and perceptive” by the New York Times.

More profile about the speaker
Bruce Feiler | Speaker | TED.com
TEDMED 2010

Bruce Feiler: The council of dads

布魯斯.菲勒: 爸爸顧問團

Filmed:
514,485 views

被診斷為患上癌症後, 布魯斯. 菲勒最先擔心的是他年幼的家人。所以, 在他這一席詼諧, 幾近胡言亂語, 卻又同時發人深省的演說中, 他憶述當年如何請求至親好友為他的一對雙胞胎女兒成立一個「爸爸顧問團」,要求這些爸爸們在他女兒的成長過程中,把他們自已的生活智慧傳授給她們。
- Writer
Bruce Feiler is the author of "The Secrets of Happy Families," and the writer/presenter of the PBS miniseries "Walking the Bible." Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:15
My story故事 actually其實 began開始 when I was four years年份 old
0
0
3000
我的故事從我四歲時開始
00:18
and my family家庭 moved移動 to a new neighborhood鄰里
1
3000
2000
我們一家搬到了一個新區
00:20
in our hometown家鄉 of Savannah薩凡納, Georgia格魯吉亞.
2
5000
2000
我的故居喬治亞州撤番那市
00:22
And this was the 1960s
3
7000
2000
那是1960年
00:24
when actually其實 all the streets街道 in this neighborhood鄰里
4
9000
2000
當時這一區的所有街道
00:26
were named命名 after Confederate幫兇 war戰爭 generals將軍.
5
11000
3000
全以南方聯邦將領冠名
00:29
We lived生活 on Robert羅伯特 E. Lee背風處 Boulevard林蔭大道.
6
14000
2000
我們住在羅扙.E.李大道上
00:31
And when I was five,
7
16000
2000
在我五歲那年
00:33
my parents父母 gave me an orange橙子 Schwinn施溫 Sting-Ray斯汀射線 bicycle自行車.
8
18000
3000
父母給我買了一台橘色的腳踏車
00:36
It had a swooping俯衝 banana香蕉 seat座位 and those ape hanger衣架 handlebars車把
9
21000
3000
前傾式的座位及猿猴掛樹式的把手
00:39
that made製作 the rider騎士 look like an orangutan猩猩.
10
24000
3000
讓騎上去的人看起來活像一隻狒狒
00:42
That's why they were called ape hangers衣架.
11
27000
2000
所以才叫「猿猴掛樹」式
00:44
They were actually其實 modeled仿照 on hotrod的Hotrod motorcycles摩托車 of the 1960s,
12
29000
3000
這設計以當時廣受歡迎的摩托車為範本
00:47
which哪一個 I'm sure my mom媽媽 didn't know.
13
32000
2000
我媽肯定不知道這一點
00:49
And one day I was exploring探索 this cul-de-sac死路
14
34000
3000
有一天我騎著我的腳踏車
00:52
hidden away a few少數 streets街道 away.
15
37000
2000
到一條隱秘的死胡同探險
00:54
And I came來了 back,
16
39000
2000
回家的時侯
00:56
and I wanted to turn around and get back to that street more quickly很快,
17
41000
2000
我又想抄小路折回去
00:58
so I decided決定 to turn around in this big street
18
43000
3000
我決定從這一絛交接的
01:01
that intersected相交 our neighborhood鄰里,
19
46000
2000
大街上拐彎的時候
01:03
and wham重打! I was hit擊中 by a passing通過 sedan四門轎車.
20
48000
3000
碰! 的一聲,一輛車子撞上了我
01:06
My mangled錯位 body身體 flew in one direction方向,
21
51000
2000
我變形的身子飛往一個方向
01:08
my mangled錯位 bike自行車 flew in the other.
22
53000
3000
變形的腳踏車飛往另一個方向
01:11
And I lay鋪設 on the pavement路面 stretching拉伸 over that yellow黃色 line,
23
56000
3000
我就躺在路中的黃線上
01:14
and one of my neighbors鄰居 came來了 running賽跑 over.
24
59000
2000
鄰居朝我跑過來
01:16
"Andy安迪, Andy安迪, how are you doing?" she said, using運用 the name名稱 of my older舊的 brother哥哥.
25
61000
3000
「安迪, 安迪, 你還好嗎?」她叫著我哥哥的名字
01:19
(Laughter笑聲)
26
64000
2000
(笑聲)
01:21
"I'm Bruce布魯斯," I said, and promptly及時 passed通過 out.
27
66000
3000
「我是布魯斯。」我說, 然後就昏了過去
01:24
I broke打破 my left femur股骨 that day --
28
69000
2000
那天,我折斷了我的左邊的大腿骨
01:26
it's the largest最大 bone in your body身體 --
29
71000
2000
身體裏最大的一跟骨頭
01:28
and spent花費 the next下一個 two months個月 in a body身體 cast
30
73000
3000
石膏打了兩個月
01:31
that went from my chin下巴 to the tip小費 of my toe腳趾
31
76000
2000
從下巴一直到腳趾頭
01:33
to my right knee膝蓋,
32
78000
2000
到右膝蓋
01:35
and a steel bar酒吧 went from my right knee膝蓋
33
80000
2000
一根鋼棒連著我的
01:37
to my left ankle.
34
82000
2000
右膝蓋跟左腳踝
01:39
And for the next下一個 38 years年份,
35
84000
2000
在往後的38年裏
01:41
that accident事故 was the only medically醫療 interesting有趣 thing
36
86000
2000
那次意外是我的病歷上
01:43
that ever happened發生 to me.
37
88000
3000
最有趣的一件事。
01:46
In fact事實, I made製作 a living活的 by walking步行.
38
91000
2000
然而, 我把走路變為生計
01:48
I traveled旅行 around the world世界, entered進入 different不同 cultures文化,
39
93000
2000
我環遊世界, 走進不同的文化
01:50
wrote a series系列 of books圖書 about my travels旅行,
40
95000
2000
並且把我的旅程寫成書
01:52
including包含 "Walking步行 the Bible聖經."
41
97000
2000
其中包括了「聖經之旅」
01:54
I hosted託管 a television電視 show顯示 by that name名稱
42
99000
2000
那部書更被改作同名的電視劇
01:56
on PBSPBS.
43
101000
2000
在PBS播放
01:58
I was, for all the world世界, the "walking步行 guy."
44
103000
3000
大家都叫我「行者」
02:01
Until直到, in May可能 2008,
45
106000
3000
直到2008年5月
02:04
a routine常規 visit訪問 to my doctor醫生
46
109000
2000
一次例行的體檢
02:06
and a routine常規 blood血液 test測試
47
111000
2000
一次例行血液測試
02:08
produced生成 evidence證據 in the form形成 of an alkaline鹼性 phosphatase磷酸酶 number
48
113000
3000
驗出我的鹼性磷酸酶值偏高
02:11
that something might威力 be wrong錯誤 with my bones骨頭.
49
116000
3000
我的骨骼可能出了毛病
02:15
And my doctor醫生, on a whim怪念頭, sent發送 me to get a full-body全身 bone scan掃描,
50
120000
3000
我的醫生, 一時心血來潮, 叫我去做全身骨骼掃描
02:18
which哪一個 showed顯示 that there was some growth發展 in my left leg.
51
123000
3000
結果發現我的左腿長了有一些東西
02:21
That sent發送 me to an X-rayX-射線, then to an MRIMRI.
52
126000
3000
我又去做了X光和磁振造影
02:24
And one afternoon下午, I got a call from my doctor醫生.
53
129000
3000
一天下午, 我接到醫生的電話
02:28
"The tumor in your leg
54
133000
2000
「你腿上的腫瘤
02:30
is not consistent一貫 with a benign良性 tumor."
55
135000
2000
是非良性的。」
02:32
I stopped停止 walking步行,
56
137000
2000
我停下了腳步
02:34
and it took my mind心神 a second第二 to convert兌換 that double negative
57
139000
3000
又過了好一會
02:37
into a much more horrifying可怕的 negative.
58
142000
2000
我才突然理解
02:39
I have cancer癌症.
59
144000
2000
非良性腫瘤就是癌
02:41
And to think that the tumor was in the same相同 bone,
60
146000
3000
你想想看, 跟38年前意外的
02:44
in the same相同 place地點 in my body身體
61
149000
2000
同一條骨頭
02:46
as the accident事故 38 years年份 earlier --
62
151000
3000
的同一個位置上
02:49
it seemed似乎 like too much of a coincidence巧合.
63
154000
3000
我覺得這是不可能的巧合
02:52
So that afternoon下午, I went back to my house,
64
157000
2000
那天下午, 我回到了家
02:54
and my three year-old identical相同 twin雙胞胎 daughters女兒, Eden伊甸園 and Tybee泰碧 Feiler費勒,
65
159000
3000
我那對三歲的同卵雙胞胎女兒, 依殿和泰必
02:57
came來了 running賽跑 to meet遇到 me.
66
162000
2000
跑上來迎接我
02:59
They'd他們會 just turned轉身 three,
67
164000
2000
她們剛滿三歲
03:01
and they were into all things pink and purple紫色.
68
166000
2000
喜歡所有粉紅和紫色的東西
03:03
In fact事實, we called them PinkaliciousPinkalicious and PurpliciousPurplicious --
69
168000
3000
我們暱稱她們為粉紅仙子和紫仙子 --
03:06
although雖然 I must必須 say, our favorite喜愛 nickname暱稱
70
171000
2000
可是我最喜歡的暱稱
03:08
occurred發生 on their birthday生日, April四月 15th.
71
173000
2000
是在她們生曰的那天,4月15日,得到的。
03:10
When they were born天生 at 6:14 and 6:46
72
175000
3000
她們是在 2005年 4月15曰
03:13
on April四月 15, 2005,
73
178000
3000
6:14 和 6:46 出生的
03:16
our otherwise除此以外 grim嚴峻, humorless缺乏幽默感 doctor醫生 looked看著 at his watch,
74
181000
2000
我們的那個嚴肅又沒幽默感的醫生
03:18
and was like, "Hmm, April四月 15th -- tax day.
75
183000
3000
看了看手表說: 「唔, 4月15,
03:21
Early filer文件管理器 and late晚了 filer文件管理器."
76
186000
3000
納稅的日子, 早繳兒和晚繳兒呀」
03:24
(Laughter笑聲)
77
189000
4000
(笑聲)
03:29
The next下一個 day I came來了 to see him. I was like, "Doctor醫生, that was a really good joke玩笑."
78
194000
3000
第二天我跟他說「醫生, 你的笑話太好笑了.」
03:32
And he was like, "You're the writer作家, kid孩子."
79
197000
2000
他說「孩子,你才是作家呢!」
03:34
Anyway無論如何 -- so they had just turned轉身 three,
80
199000
2000
所以, 她們剛滿三歲
03:36
and they came來了 and they were doing this dance舞蹈 they had just made製作 up
81
201000
2000
她們跑過來叫我欣賞她們自創的舞蹈
03:38
where they were twirling捻轉 faster更快 and faster更快 until直到 they tumbled重挫 to the ground地面,
82
203000
3000
她們轉呀轉, 轉到摔在地上
03:41
laughing with all the glee高興 in the world世界.
83
206000
3000
兩個人笑成一團
03:44
I crumbled崩潰.
84
209000
2000
我崩潰了
03:46
I kept不停 imagining想像 all the walks散步 I might威力 not take with them,
85
211000
3000
我一直想像著我無法陪她們走的路
03:49
the art藝術 projects項目 I might威力 not mess食堂 up,
86
214000
2000
無法弄糟她們的美術作業
03:51
the boyfriends男朋友 I might威力 not scowl皺眉頭 at,
87
216000
2000
無法朝她們的男友直皺眉頭
03:53
the aisles過道 I might威力 not walk步行 down.
88
218000
3000
無法看到她們步入教堂
03:56
Would they wonder奇蹟 who I was, I thought.
89
221000
2000
她們會猜想我是怎麼樣的人嗎?
03:58
Would they yearn嚮往 for my approval贊同,
90
223000
2000
會不會盼望得到我的認可
04:00
my love, my voice語音?
91
225000
3000
我的愛, 我的聲音
04:03
A few少數 days later後來, I woke醒來 with an idea理念
92
228000
2000
數天後, 我想到了一個點子
04:05
of how I might威力 give them that voice語音.
93
230000
2000
可以讓她們聽到我的聲音
04:07
I would reach達到 out to six men男人
94
232000
2000
我要從我的生命中
04:09
from all parts部分 of my life
95
234000
2000
挑選出六個男人
04:11
and ask them to be present當下
96
236000
2000
請他們在我女兒生命中的
04:13
in the passages通道 of my daughters'女兒“ lives生活.
97
238000
3000
每個階段陪伴她們
04:16
"I believe my girls女孩 will have plenty豐富 of opportunities機會 in their lives生活,"
98
241000
2000
「我相信我的女兒們會有光明的未來」
04:18
I wrote these men男人.
99
243000
2000
我在給這些男人的信上這樣寫:
04:20
"They'll他們會 have loving愛心 families家庭 and welcoming歡迎 homes家園,
100
245000
2000
「她們會有幸福的家庭, 慈愛的家人
04:22
but they may可能 not have me.
101
247000
2000
可是她們可能會失去我
04:24
They may可能 not have their dad.
102
249000
2000
可能會失去她們的爸爸
04:26
Will you help be their dad?"
103
251000
2000
你們願不願意當她們的爸爸?」
04:28
And I said to myself
104
253000
2000
然後我對自己說:
04:30
I would call this group of men男人 "the Council評議會 of Dads爸爸."
105
255000
3000
我會稱他們為「爸爸顧問團」
04:34
Now as soon不久 as I had this idea理念,
106
259000
2000
一想到這個點子以後
04:36
I decided決定 I wouldn't不會 tell my wife妻子. Okay.
107
261000
3000
我當下就決定要瞞住我老婆. 為甚麼呢?
04:39
She's a very upbeat樂觀,
108
264000
2000
我老婆是一個很開朗
04:41
naturally自然 excited興奮 person.
109
266000
2000
很容易興奮的人
04:43
There's this idea理念 in this culture文化 -- I don't have to tell you --
110
268000
3000
大家都知道, 我們的文化裏有這麼個概念
04:46
that you sort分類 of "happy快樂" your way through通過 a problem問題.
111
271000
2000
就是在困難的面前要保持快樂的精神
04:48
We should focus焦點 on the positive.
112
273000
2000
要樂觀的面對一切
04:50
My wife妻子, as I said, she grew成長 up outside of Boston波士頓.
113
275000
2000
我老婆在波士頓外長大
04:52
She's got a big smile微笑. She's got a big personality個性.
114
277000
2000
她有一個大大的笑容, 熱血的心腸
04:54
She's got big hair頭髮 --
115
279000
2000
還有大大的髮型
04:56
although雖然, she told me recently最近, I can't say she has big hair頭髮,
116
281000
3000
我老婆不準我再說她有大大的髮型
04:59
because if I say she has big hair頭髮,
117
284000
2000
因為那樣讓人聽起來
05:01
people will think she's from Texas德州.
118
286000
2000
就好像她是從德州(南部)來的一樣
05:03
And it's apparently顯然地 okay to marry結婚 a boy男孩 from Georgia格魯吉亞,
119
288000
2000
原來嫁一個南部來的男孩是可以的
05:05
but not to have hair頭髮 from Texas德州.
120
290000
3000
有一個南部的髮型卻萬萬不可
05:08
And actually其實, in her defense防禦, if she were here right now,
121
293000
2000
不過,說 句公道話,
05:10
she would point out that, when we got married已婚 in Georgia格魯吉亞,
122
295000
3000
她要是在這兒的話, 她會抗議說,
05:13
there were three questions問題
123
298000
2000
我們在喬治亞結婚的時侯,
05:15
on the marriage婚姻 certificate證書 license執照,
124
300000
2000
結婚證書上, 有三個問題
05:17
the third第三 of which哪一個 was, "Are you related有關?"
125
302000
3000
第三個問題是: 你們是否有親戚關係?
05:20
(Laughter笑聲)
126
305000
3000
(笑聲)
05:23
I said, "Look, in Georgia格魯吉亞 at least最小 we want to know.
127
308000
2000
我說:「至少喬治亞有問呀!
05:25
In Arkansas阿肯色州 they don't even ask."
128
310000
3000
在阿肯色州,他們連問一下都省了.」
05:28
What I didn't tell her is, if she said, "Yes," you could jump.
129
313000
2000
她不知道的是, 假如她回答「是」,
05:30
You don't need the 30-day-天 waiting等候 period.
130
315000
2000
連30天的等侯期都可以省掉
05:32
Because you don't need the get-to-know-you獲得對知識你 session會議 at that point.
131
317000
3000
因為已經不需要瞭解期
05:35
So I wasn't going to tell her about this idea理念,
132
320000
2000
所以我不準備告訴她我今天的點子
05:37
but the next下一個 day I couldn't不能 control控制 myself, I told her.
133
322000
2000
但是第二天我就敝不住告訴她了
05:39
And she loved喜愛 the idea理念,
134
324000
2000
她非常喜歡我的點子
05:41
but she quickly很快 started開始 rejecting拒絕 my nominees被提名人.
135
326000
3000
可是她馬上否定了我的所有人選
05:45
She was like, "Well, I love him, but I would never ask him for advice忠告."
136
330000
3000
她說: 「我是很喜歡他沒錯, 可是我不會聽取他的建議。」
05:48
So it turned轉身 out that starting開始 a council評議會 of dads爸爸
137
333000
2000
原來成立「爸爸顧問團」
05:50
was a very efficient高效 way to find out
138
335000
2000
可以讓我馬上瞭解到
05:52
what my wife妻子 really thought of my friends朋友.
139
337000
2000
我老婆對我朋友的看法
05:54
(Laughter笑聲)
140
339000
2000
(笑聲)
05:56
So we decided決定 that we needed需要 a set of rules規則,
141
341000
2000
我們決定先開出一些條件
05:58
and we came來了 up with a number.
142
343000
2000
我們想到了以下這些:
06:00
And the first one was no family家庭, only friends朋友.
143
345000
2000
第一, 必需是朋友而不是家人
06:02
We thought our family家庭 would already已經 be there.
144
347000
2000
因為家人本來就會陪在身邊
06:04
Second第二, men男人 only.
145
349000
2000
第二, 必需是男性
06:06
We were trying to fill the dad-space爸爸空間 in the girls'女孩 lives生活.
146
351000
2000
因為他們要取替的是爸爸的角色
06:08
And then third第三, sort分類 of a dad for every一切 side.
147
353000
3000
第三, 我們需要各式各樣的父親
06:11
We kind of went through通過 my personality個性
148
356000
2000
我們稍為分析了我的個性
06:13
and tried試著 to get a dad who represented代表 each different不同 thing.
149
358000
2000
要盡量找一個父親來取替我的每一方面
06:15
So what happened發生 was I wrote a letter to each of these men男人.
150
360000
2000
然後我給他們每個人寫了一封信
06:17
And rather than send發送 it,
151
362000
2000
我決定不用寄的
06:19
I decided決定 to read it to them in person.
152
364000
3000
而要親自唸給他們聽
06:22
Linda琳達, my wife妻子, joked開玩笑 that it was like having six different不同 marriage婚姻 proposals建議.
153
367000
3000
蓮達, 我老婆, 取笑我說這就像求婚六次一樣
06:25
I sort分類 of friend-married朋友,結婚 each of these guys.
154
370000
3000
我跟他們每一個人都結下一段不解之緣。
06:28
And the first of these guys was Jeff傑夫 SchumlinSchumlin.
155
373000
2000
第一個是傑夫. 史密林
06:30
Now Jeff傑夫 led this trip I took to Europe歐洲
156
375000
2000
他是我去歐州旅遊時的嚮導。
06:32
when I graduated畢業 from high school學校 in the early 1980s.
157
377000
3000
那是1980代初, 我剛高中畢業
06:35
And on that first day we were in this youth青年 hostel宿舍 in a castle城堡.
158
380000
3000
在一個城堡的青年旅館裏住下來的頭一晚
06:38
And I snuck偷傳 out behind背後,
159
383000
2000
我從後門偷偷溜了出去
06:40
and there was a moat護城河, a fence籬笆 and a field領域 of cows奶牛.
160
385000
3000
外面有一絛護城河, 一面圍牆, 跟一大堆牛
06:43
And Jeff傑夫 came來了 up beside me and said,
161
388000
2000
傑夫從我的旁邊走上來說:
06:45
"So, have you ever been cow tipping小費?"
162
390000
2000
「喂! 你有沒有試過推倒過一頭牛? 」
06:47
I was like, "Cow tipping小費?
163
392000
2000
「推倒一頭牛? 」 我問
06:49
He was like, "Yeah. Cows奶牛 sleep睡覺 standing常設 up.
164
394000
2000
他說: 「對呀! 牛是站著睡的
06:51
So if you approach途徑 them from behind背後, down wind,
165
396000
3000
所以你要從後方, 下風處繞過去
06:54
you can push them over and they go thud轟的一聲 in the mud."
166
399000
2000
你一推, 牠們就會啪一聲倒到泥巴裏去」
06:56
So before I had a chance機會 to determine確定 whether是否 this was right or not,
167
401000
3000
在我還沒來得及決定這是對還是不對以前
06:59
we had jumped跳下 the moat護城河, we had climbed爬上 the fence籬笆,
168
404000
2000
我們己經跳過護城河, 翻過籬笆
07:01
we were tiptoeing踮著腳尖 through通過 the dung
169
406000
2000
踮著腳繞過牛糞
07:03
and approaching接近 some poor較差的, dozing打瞌睡 cow.
170
408000
3000
來到了一頭可憐的,酣睡中的牛的身邊。
07:07
So a few少數 weeks after my diagnosis診斷,
171
412000
2000
所以在我診斷出來的兩個禮拜後
07:09
we went up to Vermont佛蒙特,
172
414000
2000
我們去了佛蒙特州一趟
07:11
and I decided決定 to put Jeff傑夫 as the first person in the Council評議會 of Dads爸爸.
173
416000
3000
去邀請傑夫成為爸爸顧問團的第一名成員。
07:14
And we went to this apple蘋果 orchard果園, and I read him this letter.
174
419000
3000
在一個蘋果園裏, 我把信唸讀給了他聽
07:17
"Will you help be their dad?"
175
422000
2000
「你願不願意成為她們的父親? 」
07:19
And I got to the end結束 -- he was crying哭了 and I was crying哭了 --
176
424000
2000
我唸完以後, 他在哭, 我也在哭
07:21
and then he looked看著 at me, and he said, "Yes."
177
426000
2000
然後, 他看著我, 他說: 「好的。」
07:23
I was like, "Yes?"
178
428000
2000
我反問他: 「好甚麼?」
07:25
I kind of had forgotten忘記了 there was a question at the heart of my letter.
179
430000
2000
我早就忘了信的主旨就是在提問。
07:27
And frankly坦率地說, although雖然 I keep getting得到 asked this,
180
432000
2000
老實說,我雖然考慮了很多,
07:29
it never occurred發生 to me that anybody任何人 would turn me down
181
434000
2000
可是我卻沒有想過
07:31
under the circumstances情況.
182
436000
3000
會有人在這種情況下拒絕我。
07:34
And then I asked him a question, which哪一個 I ended結束 up asking to all the dads爸爸
183
439000
3000
然後我問了他一個問題,一個我後來問了所有爸爸的問題,
07:37
and ended結束 up really encouraging鼓舞人心的 me to write this story故事 down in a book.
184
442000
3000
而最後它更鼓勵我把這個故事寫進書裡。
07:40
And that was, "What's the one piece of advice忠告
185
445000
2000
那問題是: 「假如你要給我女兒
07:42
you would give to my girls女孩?"
186
447000
2000
一個建議, 你會說甚麼? 」
07:44
And Jeff's傑夫的 advice忠告 was,
187
449000
2000
傑夫的建議是:
07:46
"Be a traveller遊客, not a tourist遊客.
188
451000
2000
「當一個旅人,不要當一個遊客。
07:48
Get off the bus總線. Seek尋求 out what's different不同.
189
453000
3000
走下公車, 找找看不一樣的事物。
07:51
Approach途徑 the cow."
190
456000
2000
朝那頭牛走過去。」
07:53
"So it's 10 years年份 from now," I said,
191
458000
2000
我問他: 「假如十年以後
07:55
"and my daughters女兒 are about to take their first trip abroad國外, and I'm not here.
192
460000
3000
我的女兒第一次出國旅遊, 而我己經不在了
07:58
What would you tell them?"
193
463000
2000
你會對她們說甚麼? 」
08:00
He said, "I would approach途徑 this journey旅程
194
465000
2000
他說: 「妳們對一趟旅程
08:02
as a young年輕 child兒童 might威力 approach途徑 a mud puddle水坑.
195
467000
2000
應該抱著孩子對泥坑的態度
08:04
You can bend彎曲 over and look at your reflection反射 in the mirror鏡子
196
469000
3000
你可以彎下身來看自己的倒影
08:07
and maybe run your finger手指 and make a small ripple波紋,
197
472000
3000
你可以用你的手指去泛起一陣漣漪
08:10
or you can jump in and thrash鞭打 around
198
475000
2000
又或者, 你可以縱身跳進去
08:12
and see what it feels感覺 like, what it smells氣味 like."
199
477000
3000
親自去體會那感受, 那氣味」
08:15
And as he talked he had that glint閃爍 in his eye
200
480000
2000
說這的時侯他的眼中放著異彩
08:17
that I first saw back in Holland荷蘭 --
201
482000
2000
就好像當年在荷蘭的時侯一樣
08:19
the glint閃爍 that says, "Let's go cow tipping小費,"
202
484000
2000
那異彩在說: 「走, 我們推牛去!」
08:21
even though雖然 we never did tip小費 the cow,
203
486000
3000
雖然我們並沒有推倒那一頭牛
08:24
even though雖然 no one tips提示 the cow,
204
489000
2000
雖然從來沒有人推過倒一頭牛
08:26
even though雖然 cows奶牛 don't sleep睡覺 standing常設 up.
205
491000
3000
雖然牛根本不是站住睡的
08:30
He said, "I want to see you back here girls女孩, at the end結束 of this experience經驗,
206
495000
3000
他說: 「當妳們旅途回來以後
08:33
covered覆蓋 in mud."
207
498000
2000
我要看到妳們混身泥巴。」
08:38
Two weeks after my diagnosis診斷, a biopsy活檢 confirmed確認
208
503000
2000
我診斷後兩個禮拜, 一個活切
08:40
I had a seven-inch七寸 osteosarcoma骨肉瘤
209
505000
2000
証實了我的左大腿上有一個
08:42
in my left femur股骨.
210
507000
2000
七吋的骨肉瘤
08:44
Six hundred Americans美國人 a year get an osteosarcoma骨肉瘤.
211
509000
3000
每一年有600個美國人患上骨肉瘤
08:47
Eighty-five八十五 percent百分 are under 21.
212
512000
2000
85% 在 21歲以下
08:49
Only a hundred adults成年人 a year
213
514000
2000
每年只有100個成人
08:51
get one of these diseases疾病.
214
516000
2000
患上這個疾病
08:53
Twenty二十 years年份 ago, doctors醫生 would have cut off my leg and hoped希望,
215
518000
3000
二十年前, 醫生會切除我的腿
08:56
and there was a 15 percent百分 survival生存 rate.
216
521000
3000
然後寄望那15% 的生存機會
08:59
And then in the 1980's, they determined決心
217
524000
2000
但在80年代, 他們決定
09:01
that one particular特定 cocktail雞尾酒 of chemo化療 could be effective有效,
218
526000
3000
一種特定的雞尾酒療法可能有效
09:04
and within weeks I had started開始 that regimen方案.
219
529000
3000
幾星期內我就開始了療程
09:07
And since以來 we are in a medical room房間,
220
532000
2000
在醫務室裏
09:09
I went through通過 four and a half months個月 of chemo化療.
221
534000
2000
我的化療持續了4個半月
09:11
Actually其實 I had Cisplatin順鉑, Doxorubicin多柔比星
222
536000
2000
我用了順鉑 (Cisplatin), 多柔比星 (Doxoubicin)
09:13
and very high-dose高劑量 Methotrexate甲氨蝶呤.
223
538000
3000
跟大劑量的甲氨蝶呤 (Methotrexate)
09:16
And then I had a 15-hour-小時 surgery手術
224
541000
2000
還熬過了一個15個小時的手術
09:18
in which哪一個 my surgeon外科醫生, Dr博士. John約翰 Healey希利
225
543000
2000
我的外科醫師, 約翰. 喜利醫生
09:20
at Memorial紀念館 Sloan-Kettering斯隆 - 凱特琳 Hospital醫院 in New York紐約,
226
545000
2000
在紐約斯隆-凱特林紀念醫院裏
09:22
took out my left femur股骨
227
547000
2000
取出了我的左大腿骨
09:24
and replaced更換 it with titanium.
228
549000
3000
以鈦金屬取代
09:27
And if you did see the Sanjay桑傑 special特別,
229
552000
2000
假如你有看桑傑醫生的特集
09:29
you saw these enormous巨大 screws螺絲
230
554000
2000
你就會看到這些大大的螺絲
09:31
that they screwed into my pelvis骨盆.
231
556000
2000
擰進了我的骨盆中
09:33
Then he took my fibula腓骨 from my calf小牛,
232
558000
3000
然後他從我的小腿肚中
09:36
cut it out and then relocated搬遷 it to my thigh大腿,
233
561000
3000
取出腓骨
09:39
where it now lives生活.
234
564000
2000
移放到大腿內
09:41
And what he actually其實 did was he de-vascularized去血管化 it from my calf小牛
235
566000
3000
這個過程已包括切斷小腿內腓骨上
09:44
and re-vascularized重新血管化 it in my thigh大腿
236
569000
2000
的所有血管, 再在大腿上重新接連
09:46
and then connected連接的 it
237
571000
2000
再把腓骨接到
09:48
to the good parts部分 of my knee膝蓋 and my hip臀部.
238
573000
3000
健康的膝蓋跟骨盆上
09:51
And then he took out a third第三 of my quadriceps股四頭肌 muscle肌肉.
239
576000
3000
然後他把我的股四頭肌切掉 1/3
09:54
This is a surgery手術 so rare罕見
240
579000
2000
這項手術非常罕有
09:56
only two human人的 beings眾生 have survived倖存 it before me.
241
581000
3000
在我之前只有兩個人成功生存下來
09:59
And my reward獎勵 for surviving倖存 it
242
584000
2000
而我成功的獎勵
10:01
was to go back for four more months個月 of chemo化療.
243
586000
3000
則是再4個月的化療
10:04
It was, as we said in my house,
244
589000
2000
在我家裏, 我們把這一年
10:06
a lost丟失 year.
245
591000
2000
叫作失去的一年
10:08
Because in those opening開盤 weeks, we all had nightmares噩夢.
246
593000
3000
在剛開始的幾個星期, 每個人都不斷的在做惡夢
10:11
And one night I had a nightmare惡夢 that I was walking步行 through通過 my house,
247
596000
2000
一天晚上, 我夢到自己在家裏走著
10:13
satSAT at my desk and saw photographs照片 of someone有人 else's別人的 children孩子
248
598000
3000
然後坐到書桌前卻看到別人家小孩的照片
10:16
sitting坐在 on my desk.
249
601000
2000
放在我的案頭上
10:18
And I remember記得 a particular特定 one night that, when you told that story故事 of --
250
603000
3000
我又記得一個晚上, 它讓我想到了
10:21
I don't know where you are Dr博士. Nuland努蘭 --
251
606000
2000
紐蘭醫生 -- 我不知道你現在在哪 –-
10:23
of William威廉 Sloane斯隆 Coffin棺材 --
252
608000
2000
他告訴我關於威廉.科芬
10:25
it made製作 me think of it.
253
610000
2000
的故事的那一個晚上
10:27
Because I was in the hospital醫院 after, I think it was my fourth第四 round回合 of chemo化療
254
612000
3000
因為當我在醫院裏, 經過了4回的化療以後
10:30
when my numbers數字 went to zero, and I had basically基本上 no immune免疫的 system系統.
255
615000
3000
我幾乎完全沒有免疫力了
10:33
And they put me in an infectious傳染病 disease疾病 ward病房 at the hospital醫院.
256
618000
3000
他們讓我住進隔離病房
10:36
And anybody任何人 who came來了 to see me had to cover themselves他們自己 in a mask面具
257
621000
3000
所有來看我的人都要戴上口罩
10:39
and cover all of the extraneous外來 parts部分 of their body身體.
258
624000
3000
把所有外露的肢體遮蓋起來
10:43
And one night I got a call from my mother-in-law岳母
259
628000
2000
一天晚,我岳母來電話說
10:45
that my daughters女兒, at that time three and a half,
260
630000
2000
我當時只有三歲半的女兒
10:47
were missing失踪 me and feeling感覺 my absence缺席.
261
632000
3000
在想我
10:50
And I hung up the phone電話,
262
635000
2000
我掛上了電話
10:52
and I put my face面對 in my hands,
263
637000
2000
把頭埋到手裏
10:54
and I screamed尖叫 this silent無聲 scream驚叫.
264
639000
4000
發出了無聲的尖叫
10:58
And what you said, Dr博士. Nuland努蘭 -- I don't know where you are --
265
643000
2000
然後你說的話, 紐蘭醫生
11:00
made製作 me think of this today今天.
266
645000
2000
讓我今天想到了這件事
11:02
Because the thought that came來了 to my mind心神
267
647000
2000
因為我當時的想法
11:04
was that the feeling感覺 that I had
268
649000
2000
和當時的感受
11:06
was like a primal原始 scream驚叫.
269
651000
2000
就像一聲原始的吶喊
11:08
And what was so striking引人注目 --
270
653000
2000
最深刻的--
11:10
and one of the messages消息 I want to leave離開 you here with today今天 --
271
655000
3000
也我今天想要對你們表達的 –
11:13
is the experience經驗.
272
658000
2000
是當時的感受
11:15
As I became成為 less and less human人的 --
273
660000
3000
當我越來越不成人形的時候
11:18
and at this moment時刻 in my life, I was probably大概 30 pounds英鎊 less than I am right now.
274
663000
3000
我的體重要比現在輕了30磅
11:21
Of course課程, I had no hair頭髮 and no immune免疫的 system系統.
275
666000
3000
我沒有頭髮也沒有免疫力
11:24
They were actually其實 putting blood血液 inside my body身體.
276
669000
3000
他們甚至要把血輸進我的體內
11:27
At that moment時刻 I was less and less human人的,
277
672000
2000
我感覺自己越來越不像一個人
11:29
I was also, at the same相同 time,
278
674000
2000
同時, 我卻又好像
11:31
maybe the most human人的 I've ever been.
279
676000
3000
比甚麼時侯都更像一個人
11:34
And what was so striking引人注目 about that time
280
679000
3000
那時侯, 最不可思議的是
11:37
was, instead代替 of repulsing回彈 people,
281
682000
2000
別人不但沒有排斥我
11:39
I was actually其實 proving證明 to be a magnet磁鐵 for people.
282
684000
2000
反而好像比平常更喜歡接近我
11:41
People were incredibly令人難以置信 drawn.
283
686000
2000
好像蜜蜂見到蜜糖一樣
11:43
When my wife妻子 and I had kids孩子, we thought it would be all-hands-on-deck所有的手放在桌上.
284
688000
3000
我們小孩出生的時候, 以為大家會同心協力
11:46
Instead代替, it was everybody每個人 running賽跑 the other way.
285
691000
2000
結果是一盤散沙
11:48
And when I had cancer癌症, we thought it'd它會 be everybody每個人 running賽跑 the other way.
286
693000
3000
現在我患上癌症, 以為大家會像一盤散沙
11:51
Instead代替, it was all-hands-on-deck所有的手放在桌上.
287
696000
2000
反而大家都同心協力
11:53
And when people came來了 to me,
288
698000
2000
大家來看我的時侯
11:55
rather than being存在 incredibly令人難以置信 turned轉身 off by what they saw --
289
700000
2000
不旦沒有被我
11:57
I was like a living活的 ghost --
290
702000
2000
活死人模樣嚇跑
11:59
they were incredibly令人難以置信 moved移動
291
704000
2000
反而被我打動
12:01
to talk about what was going on in their own擁有 lives生活.
292
706000
3000
而向我敞開心屝
12:04
Cancer癌症, I found發現, is a passport護照 to intimacy親密關係.
293
709000
3000
癌症, 我發現, 是通往誠懇的捷徑
12:07
It is an invitation請帖, maybe even a mandate要求,
294
712000
2000
是一個邀請, 甚至是一個要求
12:09
to enter輸入 the most vital重要 arenas競技場 of human人的 life,
295
714000
3000
去參與人生最必要
12:12
the most sensitive敏感 and the most frightening可怕的,
296
717000
2000
也是最可怕的舞台
12:14
the ones那些 that we never want to go to,
297
719000
2000
雖然我們常常會裹足不前
12:16
but when we do go there,
298
721000
2000
可是當我們一旦抵達那裏
12:18
we feel incredibly令人難以置信 transformed改造 when we do.
299
723000
3000
我們便會經歷到那前所未有的蛻變
12:21
And this also happened發生 to my girls女孩 as they began開始 to see,
300
726000
3000
那正好是我女兒剛開始懂事的時候
12:24
and, we thought, maybe became成為 an ounce盎司 more compassionate富於同情心的.
301
729000
3000
我希望她們能學得更有愛心
12:27
One day, my daughter女兒 Tybee泰碧,
302
732000
2000
一天, 我女兒泰必跑來跟我說:
12:29
Tybee泰碧 came來了 to me, and she said, "I have so much love for you in my body身體, daddy,
303
734000
3000
「爸爸, 我是這麼的愛你,
12:32
I can't stop giving you hugs擁抱 and kisses.
304
737000
2000
想要一直抱你, 親你。
12:34
And when I have no more love left, I just drink milk牛奶,
305
739000
3000
假如我把愛都用光了, 我就去喝牛奶
12:37
because that's where love comes from."
306
742000
2000
因為牛奶會補充我的愛。」
12:39
(Laughter笑聲)
307
744000
2000
(笑聲)
12:41
And one night my daughter女兒 Eden伊甸園 came來了 to me.
308
746000
2000
一天晚上, 我女兒依殿跑來我那
12:43
And as I lifted取消 my leg out of bed,
309
748000
2000
當我把腳抬起來的時侯
12:45
she reached到達 for my crutches拐杖 and handed them to me.
310
750000
3000
她便把拐杖拿了給我
12:48
In fact事實, if I cling依偎 to one memory記憶 of this year,
311
753000
2000
我這一年最珍貴的回憶
12:50
it would be walking步行 down a darkened黑暗 hallway門廳
312
755000
2000
便是走下一條暗暗的走廊
12:52
with five spongy海綿狀 fingers手指
313
757000
2000
還有那五支小小的手指
12:54
grasping the handle處理 underneath my hand.
314
759000
2000
跟我一起抓住拐杖
12:56
I didn't need the crutch拐杖 anymore,
315
761000
2000
我己經不需要拐杖了
12:58
I was walking步行 on air空氣.
316
763000
2000
因為整個人是輕飄飄的
13:01
And one of the profound深刻 things that happened發生
317
766000
2000
其中最深刻的
13:03
was this act法案 of actually其實 connecting to all these people.
318
768000
3000
便是加深了人與人之間的關係
13:06
And it made製作 me think -- and I'll just note注意 for the record記錄 --
319
771000
2000
這又讓我想到 -- 讓我強調這一點 --
13:08
one word that I've only heard聽說 once一旦 actually其實
320
773000
2000
一個我只聽過一次的詞
13:10
was when we were all doing Tony托尼 Robbins羅賓斯 yoga瑜伽 yesterday昨天 --
321
775000
3000
當我們昨天在做瑜珈的時侯
13:13
the one word that has not been mentioned提到 in this seminar研討會 actually其實
322
778000
2000
一個我今天一直沒有提到的詞
13:15
is the word "friend朋友."
323
780000
2000
-- 友誼
13:17
And yet然而 from everything we've我們已經 been talking about --
324
782000
2000
可是在所有我們談到的話裡 –
13:19
compliance合規, or addiction, or weight重量 loss失利 --
325
784000
2000
比方承諾、癖好、或減肥 --
13:21
we now know that community社區 is important重要,
326
786000
2000
我們現在知道團隊很重要
13:23
and yet然而 it's one thing we don't actually其實 bring帶來 in.
327
788000
3000
可我們往往都不曾提到。
13:26
And there was something incredibly令人難以置信 profound深刻
328
791000
2000
其中最深刻的
13:28
about sitting坐在 down with my closest最近的 friends朋友
329
793000
2000
就是跟最親密的好友坐下來
13:30
and telling告訴 them what they meant意味著 to me.
330
795000
2000
告訴他們他們對我有多重要。
13:32
And one of the things that I learned學到了 is that over time,
331
797000
2000
然後我弄明白了一件事情,
13:34
particularly尤其 men男人, who used to be non-communicative非通信,
332
799000
3000
以往男性多半不擅長表達自已
13:37
are becoming變得 more and more communicative交際.
333
802000
2000
現在也慢慢的開始學會了。
13:39
And that particularly尤其 happened發生 -- there was one in my life --
334
804000
2000
其中最好的例子
13:41
is this Council評議會 of Dads爸爸
335
806000
2000
便是我這個爸爸顧問團
13:43
that Linda琳達 said, what we were talking about,
336
808000
2000
我老婆說我們就好像一群女人
13:45
it's like what the moms媽媽 talk about at school學校 drop-off放下.
337
810000
3000
送孩子上學的時侯說長道短一樣。
13:48
And no one captures捕獲 this modern現代 manhood男子氣概 to me
338
813000
2000
而最瞭解這種現代男人的
13:50
more than David大衛 Black黑色.
339
815000
2000
便是大衛. 布拉克。
13:52
Now David大衛 is my literary agent代理人.
340
817000
2000
現在大衛是我的出版經紀人。
13:54
He's about five-foot五英尺 three and a half on a good day,
341
819000
2000
他大概有五尺三寸半高
13:56
standing常設 fully充分 upright直立 in cowboy牛仔 boots靴子.
342
821000
2000
假如他穿牛仔靴又站得直挺挺的話
13:58
And on kind of the manly-male男子氣概的男性 front面前, he answers答案 the phone電話 --
343
823000
3000
他接電話的時侯
14:01
I can say this I guess猜測 because you've doneDONE it here --
344
826000
2000
倒是男子氣十足的
14:03
he answers答案 the phone電話, "Yo, motherfucker."
345
828000
3000
「喂? 那個他媽的王八呀? 」
14:06
He gives boring無聊 speeches演講 about obscure朦朧 bottles瓶子 of wine紅酒,
346
831000
3000
他總喜歡滔滔不絕沉悶的談論沒人聽過的酒
14:09
and on his 50th birthday生日 he bought a convertible可兌換 sports體育 car汽車 --
347
834000
3000
在50歲生曰那天他買了開蓬車
14:12
although雖然, like a lot of men男人, he's impatient不耐煩; he bought it on his 49th.
348
837000
3000
跟很多男人一樣, 他很沒耐性, 49歲就買了
14:15
But like a lot of modern現代 men男人, he hugs擁抱, he bakes烘烤,
349
840000
3000
可是, 像很多的現代男人, 他會擁抱, 會烘烤
14:18
he leaves樹葉 work early to coach教練 Little League聯盟.
350
843000
2000
會從公司早退去教小孩打球
14:20
Someone有人 asked me if he cried哭了 when I asked him to be in the council評議會 of dads爸爸.
351
845000
3000
有人問我,找他參加爸爸顧問團的時,他哭了沒?
14:23
I was like, "David大衛 cries哭聲 when you invite邀請 him to take a walk步行."
352
848000
2000
我說: 「你找他散步他也會哭!」
14:25
(Laughter笑聲)
353
850000
2000
(笑聲)
14:27
But he's a literary agent代理人,
354
852000
2000
可是他是一個出版經紀人,
14:29
which哪一個 means手段 he's a broker經紀人 of dreams in a world世界 where most dreams don't come true真正.
355
854000
3000
是一個在夢想極少成真的世界裡的夢想經紀人
14:32
And this is what we wanted him to capture捕獲 --
356
857000
2000
這就是他在爸爸顧問團裡的任務
14:34
what it means手段 to have setbacks挫折 and then aspirations願望.
357
859000
3000
怎樣從挫折中重拾抱負。
14:37
And I said, "What's the most valuable有價值 thing you can give to a dreamer夢想家?"
358
862000
3000
我問他: 「你會給夢想家甚麼樣的建議呢? 」
14:40
And he said, "A belief信仰 in themselves他們自己."
359
865000
3000
他說: 「要相信自已。」
14:43
"But when I came來了 to see you," I said, "I didn't believe in myself.
360
868000
2000
「可是當我來找你的時侯」, 我說, 「我一點都不相信自已。
14:45
I was at a wall."
361
870000
2000
我四處碰壁。」
14:47
He said, "I don't see the wall," and I'm telling告訴 you the same相同,
362
872000
2000
他跟我說: 「我可沒看見甚麼牆壁。」我今天也要這樣對你們說
14:49
Don't see the wall.
363
874000
2000
不要看到牆壁。
14:51
You may可能 encounter遭遇 one from time to time,
364
876000
2000
也許你偶然會遇上
14:53
but you've got to find a way to get over it, around it, or through通過 it.
365
878000
2000
那就找一個方法克服它, 繞過去, 穿過去都行
14:55
But whatever隨你 you do, don't succumb屈服於 to it.
366
880000
3000
無論如何
14:58
Don't give in to the wall.
367
883000
2000
就是不要屈服。
15:02
My home is not far from the Brooklyn布魯克林 Bridge,
368
887000
3000
我家離布魯克林橋不遠
15:05
and during the year and a half I was on crutches拐杖,
369
890000
2000
在我柱著拐杖的一年半中
15:07
it became成為 a sort分類 of symbol符號 to me.
370
892000
2000
它成了我人生的指標
15:09
So one day near the end結束 of my journey旅程,
371
894000
2000
一天,在我的旅程將近結束時
15:11
I said, "Come on girls女孩, let's take a walk步行 across橫過 the Brooklyn布魯克林 Bridge."
372
896000
3000
我對女兒說: 「走, 我們過布魯克林橋去!」
15:14
We set out on crutches拐杖.
373
899000
2000
我帶著拐杖出發
15:16
I was on crutches拐杖, my wife妻子 was next下一個 to me,
374
901000
2000
我柱著拐杖, 老婆在一旁
15:18
my girls女孩 were doing these rockstar搖滾明星 poses姿勢 up ahead.
375
903000
3000
女兒們走在前頭邊走邊搗笑
15:21
And because walking步行 was one of the first things I lost丟失,
376
906000
3000
因為走路是我最先失去的東西
15:24
I spent花費 most of that year
377
909000
2000
我花了幾乎那一整年
15:26
thinking思維 about this most elemental元素 of human人的 acts行為.
378
911000
2000
去思考這個人類最基本的動作
15:28
Walking步行 upright直立, we are told,
379
913000
2000
我們常聽說, 直立走路
15:30
is the threshold of what made製作 us human人的.
380
915000
3000
是人跟其他動物最大的分別
15:33
And yet然而, for the four million百萬 years年份 humans人類 have been walking步行 upright直立,
381
918000
3000
可是40萬年來
15:36
the act法案 is essentially實質上 unchanged不變.
382
921000
2000
這姿勢卻從未改變過
15:38
As my physical物理 therapist治療師 likes喜歡 to say,
383
923000
2000
我的物理治療師最愛說:
15:40
"Every一切 step is a tragedy悲劇 waiting等候 to happen發生."
384
925000
3000
「一步一驚心。」
15:43
You nearly幾乎 fall秋季 with one leg,
385
928000
2000
一條腿快摔跤了
15:45
then you catch抓住 yourself你自己 with the other.
386
930000
3000
才用另一條撐住
15:48
And the biggest最大 consequence後果 of walking步行 on crutches拐杖 --
387
933000
2000
用拐杖走路的結果 –
15:50
as I did for a year and a half --
388
935000
2000
像我整整練了一年半 –
15:52
is that you walk步行 slower比較慢.
389
937000
2000
便是走路走慢了。
15:54
You hurry匆忙,
390
939000
2000
你匆匆忙忙的走
15:56
you get where you're going, but you get there alone單獨.
391
941000
3000
到目的地的時侯, 你是孤單一人
15:59
You go slow, you get where you're going,
392
944000
2000
你慢慢的走
16:01
but you get there with this community社區
393
946000
2000
到目的地的時侯, 身邊卻有一大群
16:03
you built內置 along沿 the way.
394
948000
2000
你路上遇到的人。
16:05
At the risk風險 of admission入場, I was never nicer更好
395
950000
2000
不瞞你說, 那是我一生中
16:07
than the year I was on crutches拐杖.
396
952000
2000
最和藹可親的一年。
16:09
200 years年份 ago,
397
954000
2000
200年前
16:11
a new type類型 of pedestrian行人 appeared出現 in Paris巴黎.
398
956000
3000
巴黎出現了一種新的行人
16:14
He was called a "flaneur漫遊者," one who wanders漫步 the arcades商場.
399
959000
3000
他們叫做漫游者,在有拱廊的街道上漫遊
16:17
And it was the custom習慣 of those flaneursflaneurs
400
962000
3000
這些漫游者有一種習慣
16:20
to show顯示 they were men男人 of leisure閒暇
401
965000
2000
為了表明他們是悠閒人士
16:22
by taking服用 turtles海龜 for walks散步
402
967000
2000
他們會帶著烏龜去散步
16:24
and letting出租 the reptile爬蟲 set the pace步伐.
403
969000
3000
然後以烏龜的步速走。
16:27
And I just love this ode to slow moving移動.
404
972000
2000
然後我愛上了這個慢步之歌
16:29
And it's become成為 my own擁有 motto座右銘 for my girls女孩.
405
974000
3000
它也成為我給女兒的座右銘
16:32
Take a walk步行 with a turtle.
406
977000
2000
帶烏龜去散步
16:34
Behold看哪 the world世界 in pause暫停.
407
979000
3000
從靜止中看世界
16:37
And this idea理念 of pausing暫停
408
982000
2000
而這個靜止的觀念
16:39
may可能 be the single biggest最大 lesson I took from my journey旅程.
409
984000
3000
也是我這趟旅程中最大的收穫
16:42
There's a quote引用 from Moses摩西
410
987000
2000
摩西有一句名言:
16:44
on the side of the Liberty自由 Bell,
411
989000
2000
在自由鐘的旁邊
16:46
and it comes from a passage通道 in the book of Leviticus利未記,
412
991000
3000
出自利未記
16:49
that every一切 seven years年份 you should let the land土地 lay鋪設 fallow休耕.
413
994000
3000
就是每7年要讓大地歇一歇
16:52
And every一切 seven sets of seven years年份,
414
997000
2000
然後每7個7年
16:54
the land土地 gets得到 an extra額外 year of rest休息
415
999000
3000
要讓它休息一整年。
16:57
during which哪一個 time all families家庭 are reunited重聚
416
1002000
2000
然後家庭要趁這空檔團聚
16:59
and people surrounded包圍 with the ones那些 they love.
417
1004000
3000
被心愛的人包圍
17:02
That 50th year is called the jubilee歡樂 year,
418
1007000
3000
所以第50年又叫歡樂年
17:05
and it's the origin起源 of that term術語.
419
1010000
2000
這便是它的出處。
17:07
And though雖然 I'm shy害羞 of 50,
420
1012000
2000
雖然我還不倒50歲
17:09
it captures捕獲 my own擁有 experience經驗.
421
1014000
2000
但我卻瞭解這點
17:11
My lost丟失 year was my jubilee歡樂 year.
422
1016000
3000
我那失去的一年便是我的歡樂年。
17:14
By laying鋪設 fallow休耕,
423
1019000
2000
我的休息
17:16
I planted種植的 the seeds種子 for a healthier健康 future未來
424
1021000
2000
會讓我以後更健康
17:18
and was reunited重聚 with the ones那些 I love.
425
1023000
3000
也讓我加深了跟我親愛的人的關係。
17:21
Come the one year anniversary週年 of my journey旅程,
426
1026000
2000
在我旅程的一周年紀念時
17:23
I went to see my surgeon外科醫生, Dr博士. John約翰 Healey希利 --
427
1028000
2000
我去看了我的外科醫生, 約翰喜利醫生
17:25
and by the way, Healey希利, great name名稱 for a doctor醫生.
428
1030000
3000
喜利是一個很適合醫生的名字 (Healey中的Heal有康復的意思)
17:29
He's the president主席 of the International國際 Society社會 of Limb Salvage打撈,
429
1034000
3000
他也是國際保肢學會的會長
17:32
which哪一個 is the least最小 euphemistic委婉 term術語 I've ever heard聽說.
430
1037000
3000
那是我所聽過最婉轉的說法。
17:35
And I said, "Dr博士. Healey希利, if my daughters女兒 come to you one day
431
1040000
3000
我問說: 「喜利醫生, 假如一天我的女兒來問你
17:38
and say, 'What'什麼 should I learn學習 from my daddy's爸爸的 story故事?'
432
1043000
2000
「我該從我爸的故事中得到甚麼教訓? 」
17:40
what would you tell them?"
433
1045000
2000
你會怎樣回答?
17:42
He said, "I would tell them what I know,
434
1047000
2000
他說: 「我會照實回答
17:44
and that is everybody每個人 dies,
435
1049000
4000
每一個人都會死
17:48
but not everybody每個人 lives生活.
436
1053000
3000
可是不是每一個人都活過
17:51
I want you to live生活."
437
1056000
2000
我希望妳們能體驗人生。」
17:53
I wrote a letter to my girls女孩
438
1058000
2000
我給我女兒寫了一封信
17:55
that appears出現 at the end結束 of my book, "The Council評議會 of Dads爸爸,"
439
1060000
2000
信被登在我「爸爸顧問團」一書的最後
17:57
and I listed上市 these lessons教訓,
440
1062000
2000
我把這些教訓都寫下來了
17:59
a few少數 of which哪一個 you've heard聽說 here today今天:
441
1064000
2000
有幾個你們今天也聽到了
18:01
Approach途徑 the cow, pack your flipflops人字拖,
442
1066000
2000
朝那頭牛走去, 帶著你的拖鞋
18:03
don't see the wall,
443
1068000
2000
不要看到牆璧
18:05
live生活 the questions問題,
444
1070000
2000
要體驗人生
18:07
harvest收成 miracles奇蹟.
445
1072000
2000
相信奇跡。
18:09
As I looked看著 at this list名單 -- to me it was sort分類 of like a psalm詩篇 book of living活的 --
446
1074000
3000
我列的清單, 就像人生的詩篇
18:12
I realized實現, we may可能 have doneDONE it for our girls女孩,
447
1077000
3000
我這才發現, 雖然這是為女兒寫的
18:15
but it really changed us.
448
1080000
2000
最後卻改變了我們。
18:17
And that is, the secret秘密 of the Council評議會 of Dads爸爸,
449
1082000
2000
這就是爸爸顧問團的秘密
18:19
is that my wife妻子 and I did this
450
1084000
2000
我跟我老婆一開始
18:21
in an attempt嘗試 to help our daughters女兒,
451
1086000
3000
是為了女兒而做的
18:24
but it really changed us.
452
1089000
2000
最後卻改變了我們。
18:26
So I stand here today今天
453
1091000
2000
我今天站在這兒
18:28
as you see now, walking步行 without crutches拐杖 or a cane甘蔗.
454
1093000
4000
就像你看到的, 不需要再依賴拐杖。
18:32
And last week I had my 18-month-月 scans掃描.
455
1097000
2000
上周我做了手術後18個月的掃描
18:34
And as you all know,
456
1099000
2000
大家都知道
18:36
anybody任何人 with cancer癌症 has to get follow-up跟進 scans掃描.
457
1101000
2000
患了癌症的人都需要做跟進掃描
18:38
In my case案件 it's quarterly季刊.
458
1103000
2000
我的是每3個月一次
18:40
And all the collective集體 minds頭腦 in this room房間, I dare say,
459
1105000
2000
我敢說, 在座所有人的腦汁加在一起
18:42
can never find a solution for scan-xiety掃描xiety.
460
1107000
3000
都想不出能讓我不緊張的方法
18:45
As I was going there, I was wondering想知道, what would I say
461
1110000
2000
去檢查的途中, 我一直在想,
18:47
depending根據 on what happened發生 here.
462
1112000
2000
按照檢查結果而定, 我該說甚麼。
18:51
I got good news新聞 that day,
463
1116000
2000
那天我收到了好消息
18:53
and I stand here today今天 cancer-free癌症免費,
464
1118000
2000
今天我的身體裏沒有癌細胞
18:55
walking步行 without aid援助
465
1120000
2000
可以不用拐杖走路
18:57
and hobbling蹣跚 forward前鋒.
466
1122000
3000
步履蹣跚的前進。
19:00
And I just want to mention提到 briefly簡要地 in passing通過 -- I'm past過去 my time limit限制 --
467
1125000
3000
我只想要總括一下 -- 我已經超時 --
19:03
but I just want to briefly簡要地 mention提到 in passing通過
468
1128000
2000
我只想要總括一下
19:05
that one of the nice不錯 things that can come out of a conference會議 like this
469
1130000
2000
參加這種聚會的美事之一就是
19:07
is, at a similar類似 meeting會議,
470
1132000
2000
在另一個類似的聚會中,
19:09
back in the spring彈簧,
471
1134000
2000
在春天的時侯,
19:11
Anne安妮 Wojcicki沃西基 heard聽說 about our story故事
472
1136000
2000
安.沃西基聽到了我的故事
19:13
and very quickly很快 -- in a span跨度 of three weeks --
473
1138000
2000
而非常快的 -- 在短短3周內 --
19:15
put the full充分 resources資源 of 23andMe和我,
474
1140000
2000
動用了「23與我」所有的力量
19:17
and we announced公佈 an initiative倡議 in July七月
475
1142000
3000
在7月中我們倡議
19:20
to get to decode解碼 the genome基因組
476
1145000
2000
要拆解
19:22
of anybody任何人, a living活的 person
477
1147000
3000
所有患者的
19:25
with a heart tissue組織, bone sarcoma肉瘤.
478
1150000
3000
骨肉瘤的基因组
19:28
And she told me last night, in the three months個月 since以來 we've我們已經 doneDONE it,
479
1153000
3000
她昨天晚上告訴我, 在3個月內
19:31
we've我們已經 gotten得到 300 people who've誰一直 contributed貢獻 to this program程序.
480
1156000
3000
已經有300個人參與。
19:34
And the epidemiologists流行病學家 here will tell you,
481
1159000
2000
流行病學家會告訴你
19:36
that's half the number of people who get the disease疾病
482
1161000
2000
那是在美國一年內
19:38
in one year in the United聯合的 States狀態.
483
1163000
2000
所有患上這種疾病的一半人數。
19:40
So if you go to 23andMe和我,
484
1165000
2000
所以你可以去「23與我」 (23andMe)
19:42
or if you go to councilofdadscouncilofdads.comCOM, you can click點擊 on a link鏈接.
485
1167000
3000
或去councilofdads.com,點擊一個連結
19:45
And we encourage鼓勵 anybody任何人 to join加入 this effort功夫.
486
1170000
3000
我們鼓勵所有人來參與。
19:48
But I'll just close what I've been talking about
487
1173000
3000
在今天最後
19:51
by leaving離開 you with this message信息:
488
1176000
2000
我要說的是:
19:53
May可能 you find an excuse藉口 to reach達到 out to some long-lost久未 pal朋友,
489
1178000
2000
希望你們可以找到一個接觸
19:55
or to that college學院 roommate室友,
490
1180000
2000
昔曰好友或大學室友的藉口
19:57
or to some person you may可能 have turned轉身 away from.
491
1182000
2000
或一個你遠離了的人。
19:59
May可能 you find a mud puddle水坑 to jump in someplace某個地方,
492
1184000
3000
希望你們找到一個可以跳進去的泥坑
20:02
or find a way to get over, around, or through通過 any wall
493
1187000
2000
或找到一個可以越過那面
20:04
that stands站立 between之間 you and one of your dreams.
494
1189000
3000
堵在你跟你夢想之間的牆的方法。
20:07
And every一切 now and then,
495
1192000
2000
偶而
20:09
find a friend朋友, find a turtle,
496
1194000
2000
找一個朋友,找一只烏龜
20:11
and take a long, slow walk步行.
497
1196000
3000
長長地、 慢慢地、 散一散步。
20:14
Thank you very much.
498
1199000
3000
謝謝你們
20:17
(Applause掌聲)
499
1202000
10000
(掌聲)
Translated by Lynn Chu
Reviewed by Shelley Krishna R. TSANG

▲Back to top

ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Bruce Feiler - Writer
Bruce Feiler is the author of "The Secrets of Happy Families," and the writer/presenter of the PBS miniseries "Walking the Bible."

Why you should listen

Bruce Feiler is the author of nine books, including Walking the BibleAbraham, and America’s Prophet. He is also the writer/presenter of the PBS miniseries Walking the Bible. His book The Council of Dads tells the uplifting story of how friendship and community can help one survive life’s greatest challenges. Most recently Feiler published The Secrets of Happy Families, in which he calls for a new approach to family dynamics, inspired by cutting-edge techniques gathered from experts in the disciplines of science, business, sports and the military.

Feiler’s early books involve immersing himself in different cultures and bringing other worlds vividly to life. These include Learning to Bow, an account of the year he spent teaching in rural Japan; Looking for Class, about life inside Oxford and Cambridge; and Under the Big Top, which depicts the year he spent performing as a clown in the Clyde Beatty-Cole Bros. Circus.
 
Walking the Bible describes his perilous, 10,000-mile journey retracing the Five Books of Moses through the desert. The book was hailed as an “instant classic” by the Washington Post and “thoughtful, informed, and perceptive” by the New York Times.

More profile about the speaker
Bruce Feiler | Speaker | TED.com