ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Andrew Solomon - Writer
Andrew Solomon writes about politics, culture and psychology.

Why you should listen

Andrew Solomon is a writer, lecturer and Professor of Clinical Psychology at Columbia University. He is president of PEN American Center. He writes regularly for The New Yorker and the New York Times.

Solomon's newest book, Far and Away: Reporting from the Brink of Change, Seven Continents, Twenty-Five Years was published in April, 2016. His previous book, Far From the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity won the National Book Critics Circle award for nonfiction, the Wellcome Prize and 22 other national awards. It tells the stories of parents who not only learn to deal with their exceptional children but also find profound meaning in doing so. It was a New York Times bestseller in both hardcover and paperback editions. Solomon's previous book, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression, won the 2001 National Book Award for Nonfiction, was a finalist for the 2002 Pulitzer Prize and was included in The Times of London's list of one hundred best books of the decade. It has been published in twenty-four languages. Solomon is also the author of the novel A Stone Boat and of The Irony Tower: Soviet Artists in a Time of Glasnost.

Solomon is an activist in LGBT rights, mental health, education and the arts. He is a member of the boards of directors of the National LGBTQ Force and Trans Youth Family Allies. He is a member of the Board of Visitors of Columbia University Medical Center, serves on the National Advisory Board of the Depression Center at the University of Michigan, is a director of Columbia Psychiatry and is a member of the Advisory Board of the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. Solomon also serves on the boards of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Yaddo and The Alex Fund, which supports the education of Romani children. He is also a fellow of Berkeley College at Yale University and a member of the New York Institute for the Humanities and the Council on Foreign Relations.

Solomon lives with his husband and son in New York and London and is a dual national. He also has a daughter with a college friend; mother and daughter live in Texas but visit often.


More profile about the speaker
Andrew Solomon | Speaker | TED.com
TEDxMet

Andrew Solomon: Depression, the secret we share

安德魯.索羅門 (Andrew Solomon): 憂鬱,我們共享的秘密

Filmed:
10,174,764 views

「憂鬱的反面不是快樂,而是活力,那段時間活力似乎從我身上慢慢消失了。」在這場具有說服力和顛覆性的演說中,安德魯.索羅門 (Andrew Solomon) 帶你走進他與憂鬱對抗多年時內心最陰暗的角落。這段經歷開啟了他到世界各地採訪憂鬱患者的驚奇旅程。出乎意料的是,他發現當自己說得越多,就會有越多人想述說他們自己的故事。(攝於 TEDxMet)
- Writer
Andrew Solomon writes about politics, culture and psychology. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:15
"I felt a funeral葬禮 in my brain,
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「在我的腦海中,有一場葬禮,
00:19
and mourners送葬 to and fro來來往往
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哀悼者來來去去,
00:22
kept不停 treading踩著, treading踩著 till直到 I felt
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不停踩踏,踩踏,直到我感覺
00:24
that sense was breaking破壞 through通過.
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感官衝破了覺知。
00:27
And when they all were seated坐在,
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當眾人全都就座,
00:29
a service服務, like a drum,
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儀式開始,像擊鼓般,
00:31
kept不停 beating跳動, beating跳動, till直到 I felt
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不斷敲擊、敲擊,直到感覺
00:34
my mind心神 was going numb麻木.
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我的意識就此麻木。
00:37
And then I heard聽說 them lift電梯 a box
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此刻我聽見他們抬起棺木,
00:39
and creak吱吱 across橫過 my soul靈魂
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嘰嘎聲穿透我的魂。
00:41
with those same相同 boots靴子 of lead again,
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鉛靴的踏步聲再度揚起,
00:45
then space空間 began開始 to toll收費,
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伴隨喪鐘迴盪,
00:48
as if the heavens were a bell
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彷彿天空是具大鐘,
00:50
and being存在 were an ear,
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只剩下一只耳朵存在,
00:52
and I, and silence安靜, some strange奇怪 race種族
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而我與寂靜間,一場微妙的追逐,
00:55
wrecked失事, solitary, here.
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獨自在此破碎。
00:58
Just then, a plank in reason原因 broke打破,
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就在此時,理性忽然斷了弦,
01:01
and I fell下跌 down and down
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我不斷墜落,
01:05
and hit擊中 a world世界 at every一切 plunge跳水,
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每次墜落都撞上一個世界,
01:07
and finished knowing會心 then."
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最終豁然開朗。 」
01:12
We know depression蕭條 through通過 metaphors隱喻.
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我們透過文學隱喻認識了憂鬱。
01:15
Emily艾米莉 Dickinson迪金森 was able能夠 to convey傳達 it in language語言,
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艾蜜莉.狄更生(十九世紀美國詩人)
用詩歌描寫它,
01:19
Goya戈雅 in an image圖片.
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哥雅(西班牙畫家)用繪畫詮釋,
01:22
Half the purpose目的 of art藝術
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半數藝術品的目的
01:24
is to describe描述 such這樣 iconic標誌性的 states狀態.
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是為了描述這象徵性的狀態。
01:27
As for me, I had always thought myself tough強硬,
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對我而言,我總把自己看做一名鬥士,
01:31
one of the people who could survive生存
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是那種即使被送往集中營
01:33
if I'd been sent發送 to a concentration濃度 camp.
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也可以存活下來的人。
01:36
In 1991, I had a series系列 of losses損失.
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1991 年,我經歷了一連串的不幸。
01:39
My mother母親 died死亡,
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我的母親去世,
01:41
a relationship關係 I'd been in ended結束,
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戀情終結,
01:43
I moved移動 back to the United聯合的 States狀態
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多年居住外國之後,
01:45
from some years年份 abroad國外,
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我返回了美國。
01:47
and I got through通過 all of those experiences經驗 intact完整.
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我安然無恙地經歷這一切。
01:50
But in 1994, three years年份 later後來,
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但是到了 1994 年,即三年之後,
01:53
I found發現 myself losing失去 interest利益 in almost幾乎 everything.
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我發現自己對所有的事情都失去了興趣。
01:57
I didn't want to do any of the things
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任何我曾經喜歡做的事情,
01:59
I had previously先前 wanted to do,
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我都不願意做。
02:01
and I didn't know why.
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對此我毫無頭緒。
02:03
The opposite對面 of depression蕭條
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憂鬱的反面
02:05
is not happiness幸福, but vitality活力,
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不是快樂,而是活力。
02:08
and it was vitality活力
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正是這種活力,
02:10
that seemed似乎 to seep滲透 away from me in that moment時刻.
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在那時似乎從我體內一點一點地消失。
02:14
Everything there was to do
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任何需要做的事情
02:16
seemed似乎 like too much work.
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都變得困難無比。
02:18
I would come home
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我回到家裡,
02:20
and I would see the red light
flashing閃爍 on my answering回答 machine,
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看到答錄機上閃爍跳躍的紅燈,
02:23
and instead代替 of being存在 thrilled高興 to hear from my friends朋友,
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我非但不會因為有朋友的音訊而感到興奮。
02:25
I would think,
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我會想著:
02:27
"What a lot of people that is to have to call back."
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「怎麼有這麼多人需要我回覆電話!」
02:30
Or I would decide決定 I should have lunch午餐,
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又比如,我知道自己該吃午餐了。
02:32
and then I would think, but
I'd have to get the food餐飲 out
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我就會想,我需要把食物取出來,
02:35
and put it on a plate盤子
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放在盤子上,
02:37
and cut it up and chew it and swallow it,
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切開它們,嚼碎它們再嚥下去。
02:41
and it felt to me like the Stations of the Cross交叉.
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這對我就像耶穌受難一樣難熬。
02:45
And one of the things that often經常 gets得到 lost丟失
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有關憂鬱的討論中,
02:47
in discussions討論 of depression蕭條
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有一點經常讓人困惑,
02:49
is that you know it's ridiculous荒謬.
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那就是你明白這一切都很荒謬。
02:51
You know it's ridiculous荒謬 while you're experiencing經歷 it.
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當你經歷這一切的時候,
你知道這很荒謬。
02:54
You know that most people manage管理
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你知道大多數人能夠
02:56
to listen to their messages消息 and eat lunch午餐
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聽他們的電話留言、吃午飯、
02:58
and organize組織 themselves他們自己 to take a shower淋浴
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打點好自己、沖個澡,
03:00
and go out the front面前 door
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然後走出大門。
03:02
and that it's not a big deal合同,
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這些事無關緊要,
03:03
and yet然而 you are nonetheless儘管如此, in its grip
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但你卻依然深陷其中,
03:06
and you are unable無法 to figure數字 out any way around it.
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你無法找到逃離的方式。
03:10
And so I began開始 to feel myself doing less
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於是我發現自己做的事越來越少,
03:15
and thinking思維 less
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思考愈來愈少,
03:17
and feeling感覺 less.
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感覺越來越少,
03:19
It was a kind of nullity無效.
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處在一種虛無狀態中。
03:22
And then the anxiety焦慮 set in.
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這時焦慮出現了。
03:24
If you told me that I'd have to be
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如果你告訴我,
我會在下個月一直憂鬱,
03:26
depressed鬱悶 for the next下一個 month,
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03:28
I would say, "As long I know it'll它會 be
over in November十一月, I can do it."
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我會說:「只要我知道,
憂鬱會在 11 月消失,我就能挺過去。」
03:31
But if you said to me,
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然而如果你這樣說:
03:32
"You have to have acute急性 anxiety焦慮 for the next下一個 month,"
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「你會在下個月嚴重焦慮。」
03:35
I would rather slit裂縫 my wrist than go through通過 it.
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我寧願割腕也不願意承受。
03:38
It was the feeling感覺 all the time
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這是一種持續的感受,
03:40
like that feeling感覺 you have if you're walking步行
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就好像你走在路上,
03:42
and you slip or trip
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你跌倒了或者絆倒了,
03:43
and the ground地面 is rushing up at you,
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地面猛然衝向你。
03:45
but instead代替 of lasting持久 half a
second第二, the way that does,
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但是這感覺不是只有半秒,
03:48
it lasted歷時 for six months個月.
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這感覺要持續六個月。
03:50
It's a sensation感覺 of being存在 afraid害怕 all the time
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這是一種無時無刻感到害怕,
03:53
but not even knowing會心 what it is that you're afraid害怕 of.
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卻不知道你在害怕什麼的感覺。
03:57
And it was at that point that I began開始 to think
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那一刻我開始想,
03:59
that it was just too painful痛苦 to be alive,
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活著太痛苦了。
04:03
and that the only reason原因 not to kill oneself自己
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人不會自殺的唯一理由,
04:06
was so as not to hurt傷害 other people.
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就是不想傷害旁人。
04:09
And finally最後 one day, I woke醒來 up
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終於有一天,我醒來,
04:12
and I thought perhaps也許 I'd had a stroke行程,
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我想我可能中風了。
04:14
because I lay鋪設 in bed completely全然 frozen凍結的,
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因為我躺在床上,渾身僵硬。
04:16
looking at the telephone電話, thinking思維,
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我看著電話,心想:
04:18
"Something is wrong錯誤 and I should call for help,"
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「出事了,我應該打電話求救。」
04:22
and I couldn't不能 reach達到 out my arm
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我卻無法伸出胳膊,
04:24
and pick up the phone電話 and dial撥號.
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無法拿起電話撥號,
04:26
And finally最後, after four full充分 hours小時
of my lying說謊 and staring凝視 at it,
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終於,在我躺著盯著電話
整整四個小時之後,
04:30
the phone電話 rang,
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電話響了。
04:32
and somehow不知何故 I managed管理 to pick it up,
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不知怎麼我拿起了聽筒,
04:34
and it was my father父親,
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那是我父親來電。
04:36
and I said, "I'm in serious嚴重 trouble麻煩.
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我說:「我麻煩大了,
04:39
We need to do something."
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我們必須做點什麼。 」
04:41
The next下一個 day I started開始 with the medications藥物治療
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第二天我開始接受藥物治療
04:44
and the therapy治療.
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和心理治療。
04:47
And I also started開始 reckoning清算
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並且我開始思索
04:49
with this terrible可怕 question:
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這個可怕的問題:
04:51
If I'm not the tough強硬 person
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如果我不是個堅強的人,
04:53
who could have made製作 it
through通過 a concentration濃度 camp,
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不是那種可以在集中營裡存活的人,
04:56
then who am I?
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那麼我是誰?
04:57
And if I have to take medication藥物治療,
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如果我必須服用藥物,
04:59
is that medication藥物治療 making製造 me more fully充分 myself,
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那麼藥物是讓我變得更像我自己,
05:03
or is it making製造 me someone有人 else其他?
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還是讓我變成了別人?
05:05
And how do I feel about it
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我要如何知道
05:07
if it's making製造 me someone有人 else其他?
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藥物是否讓我變成了別人呢?
05:09
I had two advantages優點 as I went in to the fight鬥爭.
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在這場戰鬥中我有兩個優勢:
05:13
The first is that I knew知道 that, objectively客觀地 speaking請講,
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第一,我很清楚,客觀地說,
05:16
I had a nice不錯 life,
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我有很好的生活。
05:17
and that if I could only get well,
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一旦我好起來,
05:19
there was something at the other end結束
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還會有一些東西
05:21
that was worth價值 living活的 for.
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值得我去追求。
05:23
And the other was that I had
access訪問 to good treatment治療.
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另外一點是我能接受很好的治療。
05:26
But I nonetheless儘管如此, emerged出現 and relapsed復發,
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然而我卻反覆發作,
05:29
and emerged出現 and relapsed復發,
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好轉又發作,
05:32
and emerged出現 and relapsed復發,
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又一次好轉,再發作。
05:35
and finally最後 understood了解
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終於我明白,
05:37
I would have to be on medication藥物治療
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自己必須一輩子
05:39
and in therapy治療 forever永遠.
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服藥和治療。
05:41
And I thought, "But is it a chemical化學 problem問題
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於是我想:「但是這到底是化學問題
05:44
or a psychological心理 problem問題?
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還是心理問題?
05:45
And does it need a chemical化學 cure治愈
or a philosophical哲學上 cure治愈?"
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是需要化學療法還是哲學療法?」
05:49
And I couldn't不能 figure數字 out which哪一個 it was.
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我想不出是哪一種。
05:51
And then I understood了解 that actually其實,
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接著我懂了,
事實上,我們對這兩個領域的了解
05:54
we aren't advanced高級 enough足夠 in either area
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05:56
for it to explain說明 things fully充分.
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都不足以完全解釋真相。
05:58
The chemical化學 cure治愈 and the psychological心理 cure治愈
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化學療法和心理療法都有
06:01
both have a role角色 to play,
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各自的作用。
06:03
and I also figured想通 out that depression蕭條 was something
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同時我明白了憂鬱是一種
06:06
that was braided編織 so deep into us
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深深根植於我們體內的東西。
06:09
that there was no separating分離 it
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我們無法從性格和個性中
06:10
from our character字符 and personality個性.
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將憂鬱剝離開來。
06:13
I want to say that the treatments治療 we have
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我想說我們對憂鬱的治療
06:15
for depression蕭條 are appalling駭人聽聞的.
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方法太過恐怖。
06:17
They're not very effective有效.
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這些方法不太有效,
06:19
They're extremely非常 costly昂貴.
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而且代價高昂,
06:21
They come with innumerable無數 side effects效果.
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還帶來無數副作用,
06:24
They're a disaster災害.
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簡直就是場災難。
06:25
But I am so grateful感激 that I live生活 now
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不過我很慶幸自己活在現代,
06:28
and not 50 years年份 ago,
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而不是 50 年前,
06:30
when there would have been almost幾乎 nothing
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那時候幾乎沒有任何
06:32
to be doneDONE.
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治療的辦法。
06:33
I hope希望 that 50 years年份 hence於是,
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我想 50 年以後,
06:36
people will hear about my treatments治療
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人們聽說我的治療方法,
06:37
and be appalled that anyone任何人 endured忍受
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會驚訝於居然有人能忍受
06:40
such這樣 primitive原始 science科學.
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如此原始粗糙的科學。
06:42
Depression蕭條 is the flaw缺陷 in love.
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憂鬱是愛的缺陷。
06:47
If you were married已婚 to someone有人 and thought,
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如果你將要和另一半結婚,然後想:
06:50
"Well, if my wife妻子 dies, I'll find another另一個 one,"
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「好吧,如果我妻子死了,我會再找一個。」
06:54
it wouldn't不會 be love as we know it.
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這不是我們熟知的愛情。
06:57
There's no such這樣 thing as love
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沒有這樣一種愛情,
06:59
without the anticipation預期 of loss失利,
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只有獲取幸福卻不用體驗失去。
07:01
and that specter幽靈 of despair絕望
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這種絕望的幽靈,
07:04
can be the engine發動機 of intimacy親密關係.
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會是親密關係的動力。
07:08
There are three things people tend趨向 to confuse迷惑:
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人們容易混淆三件事:
07:11
depression蕭條, grief哀思 and sadness.
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憂鬱,悲傷和難過。
07:14
Grief哀思 is explicitly明確地 reactive反應.
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悲傷是明確的反應。
07:18
If you have a loss失利 and you feel incredibly令人難以置信 unhappy不快樂,
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如果你因為損失而感到非常不開心,
07:21
and then, six months個月 later後來,
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那麼六個月之後,
07:22
you are still deeply sad傷心, but
you're functioning功能 a little better,
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你仍然很難過,但日常作息好轉了一些。
07:25
it's probably大概 grief哀思,
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這大概就是悲傷。
07:27
and it will probably大概 ultimately最終 resolve解決 itself本身
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它可能最終在一定程度上
07:29
in some measure測量.
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能自行修復。
07:31
If you experience經驗 a catastrophic災難性的 loss失利,
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如果你經歷了一次災難性的打擊,
07:34
and you feel terrible可怕,
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你感覺非常糟糕,
07:35
and six months個月 later後來 you can barely僅僅 function功能 at all,
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六個月之後依然無法正常生活,
07:38
then it's probably大概 a depression蕭條 that was triggered觸發
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那麼可能就是一種憂鬱
07:40
by the catastrophic災難性的 circumstances情況.
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被災難性的情形所觸發了。
07:43
The trajectory彈道 tells告訴 us a great deal合同.
176
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這個分析軌跡告訴我們很多訊息。
07:47
People think of depression蕭條 as being存在 just sadness.
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人們認為憂鬱只是難過。
07:50
It's much, much too much sadness,
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只是太多太多的難過,
07:52
much too much grief哀思
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太多太多的悲傷,
07:54
at far too slight輕微 a cause原因.
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因為微不足道的事情而起。
07:57
As I set out to understand理解 depression蕭條,
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當我開始了解憂鬱,
08:00
and to interview訪問 people who had experienced有經驗的 it,
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採訪了經歷過憂鬱的人們,
08:02
I found發現 that there were people who seemed似乎
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我發現有些人
表面上看起來
08:05
on the surface表面 to have what sounded滿面 like
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似乎有輕微的憂鬱,
08:07
relatively相對 mild溫和 depression蕭條
185
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08:09
who were nonetheless儘管如此, utterly完全 disabled by it.
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他們卻因此完全喪失了行為能力。
08:13
And there were other people who had what sounded滿面
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另外一些人,
08:15
as they described描述 it
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根據他們的描述,
08:16
like terribly可怕 severe嚴重 depression蕭條
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有非常嚴重的憂鬱,
08:18
who nonetheless儘管如此, had good lives生活 in the interstices空隙
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卻能在憂鬱的間隙
08:21
between之間 their depressive抑鬱 episodes發作.
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過著不錯的生活。
08:23
And I set out to find out what it is
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我開始著手研究,
08:26
that causes原因 some people
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為什麼有些人
08:27
to be more resilient彈性 than other people.
194
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比另一些人有更好的復元能力。
08:30
What are the mechanisms機制
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是什麼機制
08:31
that allow允許 people to survive生存?
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讓人得以倖存?
08:33
And I went out and I interviewed採訪 person after person
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我出去採訪了一個又一個
08:36
who was suffering痛苦 with depression蕭條.
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因憂鬱而受苦的人。
08:38
One of the first people I interviewed採訪
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我最早採訪的某個人
08:40
described描述 depression蕭條
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將憂鬱描述為
08:42
as a slower比較慢 way of being存在 dead,
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一種緩慢的死亡方式。
08:45
and that was a good thing for me to hear early on
202
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最初就聽到這說法對我來說是好事,
08:48
because it reminded提醒 me
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因為它提醒了我
08:49
that that slow way of being存在 dead
204
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1999
緩慢的死亡
08:51
can lead to actual實際 deadnessdeadness,
205
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2035
可以通往真正的死亡。
08:53
that this is a serious嚴重 business商業.
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2004
這可是正經話。
08:55
It's the leading領導 disability失能 worldwide全世界,
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憂鬱是世界上名列前茅的身心障礙,
08:58
and people die of it every一切 day.
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每天都有人因此喪生。
09:01
One of the people I talked to
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1769
當我試著了解這些的時候,
09:02
when I was trying to understand理解 this
210
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1974
我的一位採訪對象,
09:04
was a beloved心愛 friend朋友
211
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也是我的摯友,
09:06
who I had known已知 for many許多 years年份,
212
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2018
我與她相識多年。
09:08
and who had had a psychotic精神病 episode插曲
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在她大一的時候,
09:11
in her freshman新生 year of college學院,
214
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1904
有過一次精神病發作,
09:13
and then plummeted暴跌 into a horrific可怕的 depression蕭條.
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之後她陷入了可怕的憂鬱。
09:16
She had bipolar雙極 illness疾病,
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她患有雙相障礙,
09:17
or manic躁狂 depression蕭條, as it was then known已知.
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當時也稱為躁鬱症。
09:20
And then she did very well
218
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經過多年的鋰治療,
09:22
for many許多 years年份 on lithium,
219
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1708
她恢復得不錯。
09:23
and then eventually終於,
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於是到最後,
09:25
she was taken採取 off her lithium
221
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1960
她停止了化學治療,
09:27
to see how she would do without it,
222
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1835
看看自己不治療能撐多久。
09:29
and she had another另一個 psychosis精神病,
223
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1975
然而她的精神病復發,
09:31
and then plunged暴跌 into the worst最差 depression蕭條
224
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接著陷入了我所見過
09:33
that I had ever seen看到
225
561419
1872
最嚴重的憂鬱。
09:35
in which哪一個 she satSAT in her parents'父母' apartment公寓,
226
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3015
她坐在父母的公寓裡,
09:38
more or less catatonic緊張, essentially實質上 without moving移動,
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多少有點緊張型精神分裂症,
幾乎一動也不動,
09:41
day after day after day.
228
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就這樣過了一天又一天。
09:43
And when I interviewed採訪 her about
that experience經驗 some years年份 later後來 --
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多年後我採訪她,談起了這段經歷──
09:47
she's a poet詩人 and psychotherapist心理治療師
named命名 Maggie劣質煤 Robbins羅賓斯
230
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她叫瑪姬.羅賓 (Maggie Robbins) ,
是一位詩人和精神治療師──
09:50
when I interviewed採訪 her, she said,
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當我採訪她時,她說:
09:53
"I was singing唱歌 'Where'哪裡 Have All The Flowers花卉 Gone'飄“
232
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「 當時我一遍一遍地唱著
《花兒都去哪兒了》,
09:57
over and over to occupy佔據 my mind心神.
233
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滿腦子都是這首歌。
10:00
I was singing唱歌 to blot斑點 out the
things my mind心神 was saying,
234
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我唱著歌來清除腦子裡的那個聲音,
10:03
which哪一個 were, 'You'您 are nothing. You are nobody沒有人.
235
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那個聲音說:『你什麼都不是,你一文不名。
10:07
You don't even deserve值得 to live生活.'
236
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你不配活著。』
10:10
And that was when I really started開始 thinking思維
237
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從那一刻起,我真的開始想要
10:12
about killing謀殺 myself."
238
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2213
殺死我自己。 」
10:15
You don't think in depression蕭條
239
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1908
你憂鬱的時候,並不像是
10:16
that you've put on a gray灰色 veil面紗
240
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2137
你戴上了一個灰色面紗,
10:19
and are seeing眼看 the world世界 through通過 the haze陰霾
241
607127
1980
透過沮喪情緒的霧霾
10:21
of a bad mood心情.
242
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1894
來看待這個世界。
10:23
You think that the veil面紗 has been taken採取 away,
243
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2720
而是你認為那層快樂的面紗
10:25
the veil面紗 of happiness幸福,
244
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1922
已經被拿走,
10:27
and that now you're seeing眼看 truly.
245
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2424
所以現在你面對的是赤裸裸的現實。
10:30
It's easier更輕鬆 to help schizophrenics精神分裂症患者 who perceive感知
246
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幫助精神分裂症患者相對容易一些,
10:33
that there's something foreign國外 inside of them
247
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1811
他們知道身體裡有異物,
10:34
that needs需求 to be exorcised驅除,
248
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2187
需要把它們弄出去。
10:37
but it's difficult with depressives抑鬱症,
249
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2164
而對於憂鬱症患者就困難多了,
10:39
because we believe we are seeing眼看 the truth真相.
250
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3847
因為我們相信自己看到的是現實。
10:43
But the truth真相 lies.
251
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但是事實會說謊。
10:45
I became成為 obsessed痴迷 with that sentence句子:
252
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1998
我為這句話著迷:
10:47
"But the truth真相 lies."
253
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「事實會說謊。」
10:50
And I discovered發現, as I talked to depressive抑鬱 people,
254
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據我觀察,當我和憂鬱症患者交談時,
10:52
that they have many許多 delusional妄想 perceptions看法.
255
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2682
他們有許多妄想的念頭。
10:55
People will say, "No one loves me."
256
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1667
他們會說:「沒人愛我。」
10:57
And you say, "I love you,
257
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1651
你會說:「我愛你,
10:58
your wife妻子 loves you, your mother母親 loves you."
258
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2522
你的妻子愛你,你的媽媽愛你。」
11:01
You can answer回答 that one pretty漂亮 readily容易,
259
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1923
你可以馬上說出這個答案,
11:03
at least最小 for most people.
260
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至少大多數人是這樣。
11:04
But people who are depressed鬱悶 will also say,
261
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2267
但是憂鬱症患者還會說:
11:07
"No matter what we do,
262
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1705
「不管我們做什麼,
11:08
we're all just going to die in the end結束."
263
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2273
最終,我們都會死去。」
11:11
Or they'll他們會 say, "There can be no true真正 communion交往
264
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2203
或者他們會說:「人與人之間
11:13
between之間 two human人的 beings眾生.
265
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1653
不可能有真正的交流。
11:15
Each of us is trapped被困 in his own擁有 body身體."
266
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2576
我們每個人都被困在自己的身體裡。」
11:17
To which哪一個 you have to say,
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1849
關於這點你會反駁說:
11:19
"That's true真正,
268
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1321
「這沒錯,
11:20
but I think we should focus焦點 right now
269
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1818
但是我認為,我們當下應該考慮的是
11:22
on what to have for breakfast早餐."
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1896
早飯吃什麼。」
11:24
(Laughter笑聲)
271
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2185
(笑聲)
11:26
A lot of the time,
272
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大多數時候,
11:28
what they are expressing表達 is not illness疾病, but insight眼光,
273
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他們所表現出來的不是病症,而是思想偏執。
11:31
and one comes to think what's really extraordinary非凡
274
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2657
他們對這些問題特別在意,
11:33
is that most of us know about
those existential存在 questions問題
275
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2934
而大多數人都知道這些存在主義問題,
11:36
and they don't distract轉移 us very much.
276
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2290
但是我們不會太困擾。
11:39
There was a study研究 I particularly尤其 liked喜歡
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我特別喜歡這個研究:
11:41
in which哪一個 a group of depressed鬱悶
278
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1680
一群憂鬱症患者
11:42
and a group of non-depressed非抑鬱 people
279
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1901
和一群非憂鬱症患者
11:44
were asked to play a video視頻 game遊戲 for an hour小時,
280
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2623
被要求玩一個小時的電玩。
11:47
and at the end結束 of the hour小時,
281
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1813
一小時後問他們,
11:49
they were asked how many許多 little monsters怪物
282
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1651
他們認為自己
11:50
they thought they had killed殺害.
283
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1864
殺死了多少只小怪獸。
11:52
The depressive抑鬱 group was usually平時 accurate準確
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憂鬱症組的回答通常是準確的,
11:55
to within about 10 percent百分,
285
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誤差在 10% 以內。
11:57
and the non-depressed非抑鬱 people
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1471
而非憂鬱症組的人,
11:58
guessed between之間 15 and 20 times as many許多
287
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3545
回答打死小怪獸的數量
12:02
little monsters怪物 — (Laughter笑聲) —
288
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1742
比實際數目
12:03
as they had actually其實 killed殺害.
289
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多了 15 到 20 倍 。
──(笑聲)──
12:07
A lot of people said, when I chose選擇
to write about my depression蕭條,
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3066
當我選擇寫下我自己的憂鬱經歷,很多人說
12:11
that it must必須 be very difficult
291
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1769
要揭開這個秘密,讓別人知道,
12:12
to be out of that closet壁櫥, to have people know.
292
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一定非常困難。
12:15
They said, "Do people talk to you differently不同?"
293
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他們說:「人們會用不同的口吻和你說話嗎?」
12:18
And I said, "Yes, people talk to me differently不同.
294
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2072
我回答:「是的,人們用不一樣的語氣和我說話。
12:20
They talk to me differently不同 insofar只要
295
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1914
這種不一樣表現在
12:22
as they start開始 telling告訴 me about their experience經驗,
296
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2790
他們會開始和我談自己的經歷,
12:24
or their sister's姐妹 experience經驗,
297
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1835
或者他們姐妹的經歷,
12:26
or their friend's朋友的 experience經驗.
298
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1774
或者他們朋友的經歷。
12:28
Things are different不同 because now I know
299
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2292
事情和以前有所不同,因為現在我知道
12:30
that depression蕭條 is the family家庭 secret秘密
300
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2681
憂鬱是每個家庭裡的秘密。
12:33
that everyone大家 has.
301
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2077
12:35
I went a few少數 years年份 ago to a conference會議,
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3628
幾年前我參加一個會議,
12:39
and on Friday星期五 of the three-day三天 conference會議,
303
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2653
會議有三天,這天是週五。
12:41
one of the participants參與者 took me aside在旁邊, and she said,
304
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2891
一名與會者把我拉到一旁,對我說:
12:44
"I suffer遭受 from depression蕭條 and
305
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3405
「我有憂鬱症,
12:48
I'm a little embarrassed尷尬 about it,
306
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2769
我覺得有點不好意思,
12:50
but I've been taking服用 this medication藥物治療,
307
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2103
但是我一直在服這種藥,
12:52
and I just wanted to ask you what you think?"
308
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2948
我只想問問你的意見?」
12:55
And so I did my best最好 to give
her such這樣 advice忠告 as I could.
309
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2834
於是我盡我所能給了她一些建議。
12:58
And then she said, "You know,
310
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1720
然後她說:「你知道,
13:00
my husband丈夫 would never understand理解 this.
311
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2791
我丈夫永遠不會理解這些。
13:03
He's really the kind of guy to whom
this wouldn't不會 make any sense,
312
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他就是那種認為這些都是胡說八道的人,
13:05
so I just, you know, it's just between之間 us."
313
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2867
所以我想,嗯,希望我們的談話能保密。」
13:08
And I said, "Yes, that's fine."
314
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1786
我回答:「當然沒問題。」
13:10
On Sunday星期日 of the same相同 conference會議,
315
778507
2109
週日在同一個會議上,
13:12
her husband丈夫 took me aside在旁邊,
316
780616
3044
她的丈夫把我拉到一邊,
13:15
and he said, "My wife妻子 wouldn't不會 think
317
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1694
他說:「我妻子如果知道這事,
13:17
that I was really much of a guy if she knew知道 this,
318
785354
2435
她就不會覺得我是個男子漢,
13:19
but I've been dealing交易 with this depression蕭條
319
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2466
但是我一直在對抗憂鬱,
13:22
and I'm taking服用 some medication藥物治療,
320
790255
1354
而且在服用藥物,
13:23
and I wondered想知道 what you think?"
321
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2505
我想能否聽聽你的建議?」
13:26
They were hiding
322
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1423
他們兩個
13:27
the same相同 medication藥物治療 in two different不同 places地方
323
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2215
把同樣的藥物藏在
13:29
in the same相同 bedroom臥室.
324
797752
2645
臥室不同的地方。
13:32
And I said that I thought
325
800397
2021
於是我對他說,
13:34
communication通訊 within the marriage婚姻
326
802418
1684
我認為婚姻中的溝通
13:36
might威力 be triggering觸發 some of their problems問題.
327
804102
2014
可能引起他們的某些問題。
13:38
(Laughter笑聲)
328
806116
4191
(笑聲)
13:42
But I was also struck來襲
329
810307
1655
不過我也震驚於
13:43
by the burdensome繁重 nature性質
330
811962
1806
這種相互隱瞞的
13:45
of such這樣 mutual相互 secrecy保密.
331
813768
2373
惱人天性。
13:48
Depression蕭條 is so exhausting辛苦.
332
816141
1885
憂鬱令人精疲力盡,
13:50
It takes up so much of your time and energy能源,
333
818026
2768
它消耗了你那麼多的時間和精力。
13:52
and silence安靜 about it,
334
820794
1504
對此緘口不提,
13:54
it really does make the depression蕭條 worse更差.
335
822298
2731
只會讓憂鬱更糟糕。
13:57
And then I began開始 thinking思維 about all the ways方法
336
825029
1733
我開始考慮各種方法
13:58
people make themselves他們自己 better.
337
826762
1966
可以讓人們感覺更好。
14:00
I'd started開始 off as a medical conservative保守.
338
828728
2439
一開始我對醫學治療較保守。
14:03
I thought there were a few少數
kinds of therapy治療 that worked工作,
339
831167
2372
我認為一些療法是有效的,
14:05
it was clear明確 what they were --
340
833539
1809
它們確實有效──
14:07
there was medication藥物治療,
341
835348
1644
包括藥物治療,
14:08
there were certain某些 psychotherapies心理治療,
342
836992
1476
還有一些特定的心理治療,
14:10
there was possibly或者 electroconvulsiveelectroconvul​​sive treatment治療,
343
838468
2445
電痙攣療法也可能有效。
14:12
and that everything else其他 was nonsense廢話.
344
840913
2675
除此以外的都沒用。
14:15
But then I discovered發現 something.
345
843588
1832
但是後來我發現,
14:17
If you have brain cancer癌症,
346
845420
1752
如果你得了腦癌,
14:19
and you say that standing常設 on your head
347
847172
1472
而且你認為每天早上
14:20
for 20 minutes分鐘 every一切 morning早上 makes品牌 you feel better,
348
848644
2995
倒立 20 分鐘能讓你感覺好些,
14:23
it may可能 make you feel better,
349
851639
1514
這可能讓你感覺好一些,
14:25
but you still have brain cancer癌症,
350
853153
1588
但是你仍然會有腦癌。
14:26
and you'll你會 still probably大概 die from it.
351
854741
2289
你還是有可能因此死去。
14:29
But if you say that you have depression蕭條,
352
857030
2512
不過如果你說你得了憂鬱症,
14:31
and standing常設 on your head for 20 minutes分鐘 every一切 day
353
859542
2105
然後每天倒立 20 分鐘
14:33
makes品牌 you feel better, then it's worked工作,
354
861647
2484
讓你感覺好些,那麼這是有效的。
14:36
because depression蕭條 is an illness疾病 of how you feel,
355
864131
2360
因為憂鬱是一種關於感受的疾病。
14:38
and if you feel better,
356
866491
1609
如果你感覺好一點了,
14:40
then you are effectively有效 not depressed鬱悶 anymore.
357
868100
2830
那麼你就不會那麼憂鬱了。
14:42
So I became成為 much more tolerant寬容
358
870930
2033
所以我開始對無數的替代療法
14:44
of the vast廣大 world世界 of alternative替代 treatments治療.
359
872963
2925
抱有更加寬容的看法。
14:47
And I get letters, I get hundreds數以百計 of letters
360
875888
2384
我收到來信,多達幾百封的來信。
14:50
from people writing寫作 to tell me
about what's worked工作 for them.
361
878272
2516
人們來信告訴我,什麼樣的療法對他們有效。
14:52
Someone有人 was asking me backstage後台 today今天
362
880788
2201
今天有人在後臺問我關於
14:54
about meditation冥想.
363
882989
1463
藥物治療的事情。
14:56
My favorite喜愛 of the letters that I got
364
884452
2465
我最喜歡的一封來信
14:58
was the one that came來了 from a woman女人
365
886917
1474
是來自一位女士。
15:00
who wrote and said that she had tried試著 therapy治療,
366
888391
2207
她說她嘗試過心理治療,
15:02
she had tried試著 medication藥物治療,
she had tried試著 pretty漂亮 much everything,
367
890598
2387
也嘗試過藥物治療,
嘗試了幾乎所有的治療方式。
15:04
and she had found發現 a solution
and hoped希望 I would tell the world世界,
368
892985
2837
她找到一個治療方法希望我能告訴全世界,
15:07
and that was making製造 little things from yarn.
369
895822
3812
那就是用紗線做些小東西。
15:11
(Laughter笑聲)
370
899634
2999
(笑聲)
15:14
She sent發送 me some of them. (Laughter笑聲)
371
902633
3524
她還寄給我一些她的作品。(笑聲)
15:18
And I'm not wearing穿著 them right now.
372
906157
3688
我今天並沒有把它們戴在身上,
15:21
I suggested建議 to her that she also should look up
373
909845
2515
我建議她還應該去醫院,
15:24
obsessive強迫症 compulsive強迫 disorder紊亂 in the DSMDSM.
374
912360
4048
檢查一下是否得了強迫症。
15:28
And yet然而, when I went to look
at alternative替代 treatments治療,
375
916408
3128
然而,當我去了解各種療法的時候,
15:31
I also gained獲得 perspective透視 on other treatments治療.
376
919536
2908
我也對其它療法有了新看法。
15:34
I went through通過 a tribal部落的 exorcism驅魔 in Senegal塞內加爾
377
922444
2903
我在塞內加爾參加了一次部落驅魔,
15:37
that involved參與 a great deal合同 of ram's公羊 blood血液
378
925347
2013
裡面還有很多公羊的血,
15:39
and that I'm not going to detail詳情 right now,
379
927360
2062
這裡我就不描述細節了。
15:41
but a few少數 years年份 afterwards之後 I was in Rwanda盧旺達
380
929422
2000
但是多年之後,我在盧旺達
15:43
working加工 on a different不同 project項目,
381
931422
1758
做另一個計畫。
15:45
and I happened發生 to describe描述
my experience經驗 to someone有人,
382
933180
2796
我湊巧把自己的經歷告訴某個人,
15:47
and he said, "Well, you know,
383
935976
1760
他說:「嗯,你知道,
15:49
that's West西 Africa非洲, and we're in East Africa非洲,
384
937736
1820
那裡是西非,我們這兒是東非,
15:51
and our rituals儀式 are in some ways方法 very different不同,
385
939556
1834
我們的儀式在一些方面很不同,
15:53
but we do have some rituals儀式 that have something
386
941390
2013
不過我們確實有一些儀式
15:55
in common共同 with what you're describing說明."
387
943403
1987
內容和你描述的相同。」
15:57
And I said, "Oh." And he said, "Yes," he said,
388
945390
1663
我回答說「哦。」然後他說:「是的。」
15:59
"but we've我們已經 had a lot of trouble麻煩 with
Western西 mental心理 health健康 workers工人,
389
947053
2642
他又說:「不過西方的心理工作者
讓我們很苦惱,
16:01
especially特別 the ones那些 who came來了
right after the genocide種族滅絕."
390
949695
2757
尤其是大屠殺之後來的那些心理醫生。」
16:04
And I said, "What kind of trouble麻煩 did you have?"
391
952452
2327
我問:「你對他們有什麼意見嗎?」
16:06
And he said, "Well,
392
954779
1546
他回答:「嗯,
16:08
they would do this bizarre奇異的 thing.
393
956325
2664
他們做一些古怪的事。
16:10
They didn't take people out in the sunshine陽光
394
958989
1885
他們不帶人們去陽光下,
16:12
where you begin開始 to feel better.
395
960874
1700
那裡才讓人感覺舒服。
16:14
They didn't include包括 drumming鼓聲 or music音樂
to get people's人們 blood血液 going.
396
962574
3094
他們不用鼓聲或者音樂使人血脈沸騰,
16:17
They didn't involve涉及 the whole整個 community社區.
397
965668
1842
他們不動員整個社區的人,
16:19
They didn't externalize外化 the depression蕭條
398
967510
1775
他們不把憂鬱看做侵略性的幽靈
16:21
as an invasive侵入的 spirit精神.
399
969285
1433
進行驅逐。
16:22
Instead代替 what they did was they took people
400
970718
2631
相反的是,他們把人們一個個
16:25
one at a time into dingy灰溜溜 little rooms客房
401
973349
2628
帶到昏暗的小屋子裡,
16:27
and had them talk for an hour小時
402
975977
1343
跟他們談上一個小時,
16:29
about bad things that had happened發生 to them."
403
977320
2230
談論發生在他們身上的悲慘故事。」
16:31
(Laughter笑聲) (Applause掌聲)
404
979550
5460
(笑聲)(鼓掌)
16:37
He said, "We had to ask them to leave離開 the country國家."
405
985010
2362
他說:「我們不得不要求他們離境。」
16:39
(Laughter笑聲)
406
987372
3057
(笑聲)
16:42
Now at the other end結束 of alternative替代 treatments治療,
407
990429
2444
談到另一種替代療法,
16:44
let me tell you about Frank坦率 RussakoffRussakoff.
408
992873
2035
我和大家說說
法蘭克 (Frank Russakoff) 的故事。
16:46
Frank坦率 RussakoffRussakoff had the worst最差 depression蕭條
409
994908
3053
法蘭克得了非常糟糕的憂鬱症,
16:49
perhaps也許 that I've ever seen看到 in a man.
410
997961
2915
也許是我所見過最嚴重的病患。
16:52
He was constantly經常 depressed鬱悶.
411
1000876
1993
他一直處於憂鬱狀態。
16:54
He was, when I met會見 him, at a point at which哪一個
412
1002869
2141
我遇到他時,
16:57
every一切 month he would have electroshock電擊 treatment治療.
413
1005010
3158
他每個月都要接受電擊治療,
17:00
Then he would feel sort分類 of disoriented迷失方向 for a week.
414
1008168
2575
之後一週他會感覺茫然迷惘,
17:02
Then he would feel okay for a week.
415
1010743
1803
下一週他會覺得舒服一些,
17:04
Then he would have a week of going downhill下坡.
416
1012546
1700
再下週他就會墜入谷底,
17:06
And then he would have another另一個
electroshock電擊 treatment治療.
417
1014246
2685
那時他就會再做一次電擊治療。
17:08
And he said to me when I met會見 him,
418
1016931
1415
我遇到他時,他告訴我:
17:10
"It's unbearable不堪忍受 to go through通過 my weeks this way.
419
1018346
2552
「我無法忍受這樣一週一週的循環。
17:12
I can't go on this way,
420
1020898
1507
我不能繼續這樣下去,
17:14
and I've figured想通 out how I'm going to end結束 it
421
1022405
2264
我已經想好了怎麼結束這一切,
17:16
if I don't get better.
422
1024669
1557
如果我不能好起來的話。
17:18
But," he said to me, "I heard聽說 about a protocol協議
423
1026226
2708
但是,我聽說在麻省總醫院
17:20
at Mass General一般 for a procedure程序 called
424
1028934
2223
有一項醫療實驗
叫做扣帶回切開術,是一種腦部手術,
17:23
a cingulotomycingulotomy, which哪一個 is a brain surgery手術,
425
1031157
2026
17:25
and I think I'm going to give that a try."
426
1033183
2571
我想去試試看。」
我記得當時自己很吃驚,
17:27
And I remember記得 being存在 amazed吃驚 at that point
427
1035754
1954
17:29
to think that someone有人
428
1037708
1300
想到他這個人
17:31
who clearly明確地 had so many許多 bad experiences經驗
429
1039008
3221
有過那麼多悲慘的經歷,
17:34
with so many許多 different不同 treatments治療
430
1042229
1859
用了那麼多不同的療法,
17:36
still had buried隱藏 in him somewhere某處 enough足夠 optimism樂觀
431
1044088
3122
在他內心某處依然懷有一種樂觀天性,
17:39
to reach達到 out for one more.
432
1047210
2550
支撐著他再試一次。
17:41
And he had the cingulotomycingulotomy,
433
1049760
2180
他做了扣帶回切開手術,
17:43
and it was incredibly令人難以置信 successful成功.
434
1051940
2041
出乎意料地成功。
17:45
He's now a friend朋友 of mine.
435
1053981
1493
他現在是我的朋友,
17:47
He has a lovely可愛 wife妻子 and two beautiful美麗 children孩子.
436
1055474
3492
有一個可愛的妻子和兩個漂亮的孩子。
17:50
He wrote me a letter the Christmas聖誕 after the surgery手術,
437
1058966
2949
術後的聖誕節他寫了一封信給我,
17:53
and he said,
438
1061915
1189
他說:
17:55
"My father父親 sent發送 me two presents禮物 this year,
439
1063104
2407
「今年我父親寄了兩個聖誕禮物給我,
17:57
First, a motorized機動的 C.D. rack from The Sharper沙坡 Image圖片
440
1065511
2602
第一個禮物是夏珀影像的
唱片電動收藏架。
18:00
that I didn't really need,
441
1068113
1421
我並不很需要這個,
18:01
but I knew知道 he was giving it to me to celebrate慶祝
442
1069534
2097
但是我明白,他送我這個是為了
18:03
the fact事實 that I'm living活的 on my own擁有
443
1071631
1728
慶祝我獨立生活,
18:05
and have a job工作 I seem似乎 to love.
444
1073359
2047
並且有了一份自己還算喜歡的工作。
18:07
And the other present當下
445
1075406
1561
另一份禮物
18:08
was a photo照片 of my grandmother祖母,
446
1076967
1576
是一張我祖母的照片。
18:10
who committed提交 suicide自殺.
447
1078543
2252
我祖母是自殺去世的。
18:12
As I unwrapped展開 it, I began開始 to cry,
448
1080795
2935
當我拆開包裝的時候,我哭了。
18:15
and my mother母親 came來了 over and said,
449
1083730
1880
我母親走過來問我:
18:17
'Are you crying哭了 because of the
relatives親戚們 you never knew知道?'
450
1085610
3315
「你是因為沒有見過她才哭的嗎?」
18:20
And I said, 'She'她 had the same相同 disease疾病 I have.'
451
1088925
4088
我回答:「我哭是因為
她得了跟我一樣的病。」
18:25
I'm crying哭了 now as I write to you.
452
1093013
2581
寫給你這封信的時候,我正在流淚。
18:27
It's not that I'm so sad傷心, but I get overwhelmed不堪重負,
453
1095594
3595
不是因為悲傷,而是我無法承受。
18:31
I think, because I could have killed殺害 myself,
454
1099189
2221
我想我差點就會自殺,
18:33
but my parents父母 kept不停 me going,
455
1101410
1703
但是我的父母讓我挺過來了,
18:35
and so did the doctors醫生,
456
1103113
1749
還有醫生們也幫助我,
18:36
and I had the surgery手術.
457
1104862
1854
讓我做了手術。
18:38
I'm alive and grateful感激.
458
1106716
2815
我活了下來,充滿感激。
18:41
We live生活 in the right time,
459
1109531
2260
我生在一個美好的時代,
18:43
even if it doesn't always feel like it."
460
1111791
3879
雖然不是每時每刻感覺都美好。」
18:47
I was struck來襲 by the fact事實 that depression蕭條
461
1115670
1897
讓我震驚的是,憂鬱症廣泛地
18:49
is broadly寬廣地 perceived感知 to be
462
1117567
1725
被看做是一種
18:51
a modern現代, Western西, middle-class中產階級 thing,
463
1119292
3537
現代西方世界中產階級的產物。
18:54
and I went to look at how it operated操作
464
1122829
2152
於是我開始觀察憂鬱症
18:56
in a variety品種 of other contexts上下文,
465
1124981
2003
在不同情境下的表現方式。
18:58
and one of the things I was most interested有興趣 in
466
1126984
2119
其中我最感興趣的是
19:01
was depression蕭條 among其中 the indigent貧困.
467
1129103
1790
生活貧苦的憂鬱症患者。
19:02
And so I went out to try to look at
468
1130893
1781
所以我開始嘗試研究,
19:04
what was being存在 doneDONE for
poor較差的 people with depression蕭條.
469
1132674
2580
了解窮人如何治療憂鬱症。
19:07
And what I discovered發現 is that poor較差的 people
470
1135254
2158
我發現窮人
19:09
are mostly大多 not being存在 treated治療 for depression蕭條.
471
1137412
2557
幾乎都沒有得到憂鬱症的治療。
19:11
Depression蕭條 is the result結果 of a genetic遺傳 vulnerability漏洞,
472
1139969
2919
憂鬱症是一種基因缺陷,
19:14
which哪一個 is presumably想必 evenly
distributed分散式 in the population人口,
473
1142888
3158
它大致上平均分佈於人群中。
19:18
and triggering觸發 circumstances情況,
474
1146046
1953
在窮人身上,
19:19
which哪一個 are likely容易 to be more severe嚴重
475
1147999
1903
憂鬱症的情況
可能會更為嚴重。
19:21
for people who are impoverished貧困.
476
1149902
1875
19:23
And yet然而 it turns out that if you have
477
1151777
2427
然而如果你有美好的人生,
19:26
a really lovely可愛 life but feel miserable all the time,
478
1154204
2140
但卻總是不開心,
19:28
you think, "Why do I feel like this?
479
1156344
2000
你會想:「我為什麼感到不開心?
19:30
I must必須 have depression蕭條."
480
1158344
1669
我肯定是憂鬱了。」
19:32
And you set out to find treatment治療 for it.
481
1160013
1923
於是你到處尋找治療方法。
19:33
But if you have a perfectly完美 awful可怕 life,
482
1161936
2093
但是如果你的生活一團糟,
19:36
and you feel miserable all the time,
483
1164029
1867
你總是感到不開心,
19:37
the way you feel is commensurate相稱 with your life,
484
1165896
2826
那麼你的感受和生活狀態是相符的。
19:40
and it doesn't occur發生 to you to think,
485
1168722
1724
你就不會想:
19:42
"Maybe this is treatable可治療."
486
1170446
1783
「也許這病醫得好。」
19:44
And so we have an epidemic疫情 in this country國家
487
1172229
3136
所以我們國家的低收入人群中,
19:47
of depression蕭條 among其中 impoverished貧困 people
488
1175365
2913
憂鬱症像傳染病一樣到處蔓延,
19:50
that's not being存在 picked採摘的 up
and that's not being存在 treated治療
489
1178278
2512
卻沒有被關注和治療。
19:52
and that's not being存在 addressed解決,
490
1180790
2056
這個問題一直沒有解決,
19:54
and it's a tragedy悲劇 of a grand盛大 order訂購.
491
1182846
2200
變成了一個巨大的悲劇。
19:57
And so I found發現 an academic學術的
492
1185046
1488
我找到一位學者,
19:58
who was doing a research研究 project項目
493
1186534
1817
她在華盛頓特區外圍的貧民窟裡
20:00
in slums貧民窟 outside of D.C.,
494
1188351
1741
進行一項研究。
20:02
where she picked採摘的 up women婦女 who had
come in for other health健康 problems問題
495
1190092
2997
她挑出一些因為患其它疾病而就醫的女性,
20:05
and diagnosed確診 them with depression蕭條,
496
1193089
1779
診斷出她們有憂鬱症後,
20:06
and then provided提供 six months個月
of the experimental試驗 protocol協議.
497
1194868
3266
為她們提供了六個月的實驗計劃。
20:10
One of them, Lolly羅尼, came來了 in,
498
1198134
2329
其中的一位叫羅莉,
20:12
and this is what she said the day she came來了 in.
499
1200463
2297
這是她第一天來看病時的陳述。
20:14
She said, and she was a woman女人, by the way,
500
1202760
3395
她是一位女性,順帶一提。
20:18
who had seven children孩子. She said,
501
1206155
2092
她有七個孩子,她說:
20:20
"I used to have a job工作 but I had to give it up because
502
1208247
2651
「我以前有份工作,但是我不得不辭職。
20:22
I couldn't不能 go out of the house.
503
1210898
2060
因為我無法走出家門。
20:24
I have nothing to say to my children孩子.
504
1212958
2228
我和我的孩子無話可說,
20:27
In the morning早上, I can't wait for them to leave離開,
505
1215186
2767
早上,我巴不得他們都快點離開上學去。
20:29
and then I climb in bed and
pull the covers蓋子 over my head,
506
1217953
2990
然後我就爬到床上,用被子蒙住腦袋。
20:32
and three o'clock when they come home,
507
1220943
1646
下午三點他們就回家了,
20:34
it just comes so fast快速."
508
1222589
1801
時間過得超快。」
20:36
She said, "I've been taking服用 a lot of Tylenol泰諾,
509
1224390
2240
她說:「我已經吃了很多泰諾,
20:38
anything I can take so that I can sleep睡覺 more.
510
1226630
2759
吃各種藥,好讓自己多睡一會。
20:41
My husband丈夫 has been telling告訴 me I'm stupid, I'm ugly醜陋.
511
1229389
3770
我丈夫一直說我又蠢又醜。
20:45
I wish希望 I could stop the pain疼痛."
512
1233159
3505
我希望能停止痛苦。」
20:48
Well, she was brought into
this experimental試驗 protocol協議,
513
1236664
2640
她後來被加入到實驗治療計劃。
20:51
and when I interviewed採訪 her six months個月 later後來,
514
1239304
2308
六個月之後我採訪了她,
20:53
she had taken採取 a job工作 working加工 in childcare育兒
515
1241612
4407
她已經在美國海軍幼兒園工作,
20:58
for the U.S. Navy海軍, she had left the abusive濫用的 husband丈夫,
516
1246019
3805
她離開了虐待她的丈夫。
21:01
and she said to me,
517
1249824
2082
她對我說:
21:03
"My kids孩子 are so much happier幸福 now."
518
1251906
2369
「我的孩子們現在開心多了。」
21:06
She said, "There's one room房間 in my new place地點
519
1254275
1977
還說:「我的新家裡
21:08
for the boys男孩 and one room房間 for the girls女孩,
520
1256252
2608
有一間房間給男孩子,一間房間給女孩子,
21:10
but at night, they're just all up on my bed,
521
1258860
2539
但是到了晚上,他們都會來到我的床頭。
21:13
and we're doing homework家庭作業
all together一起 and everything.
522
1261399
2612
我們一起做功課,一起做每件事。
21:16
One of them wants to be a preacher牧師,
523
1264011
1673
我有個兒子想當牧師,
21:17
one of them wants to be a firefighter消防隊員,
524
1265684
1700
還有一個兒子想做個消防員,
21:19
and one of the girls女孩 says she's going to be a lawyer律師.
525
1267384
2966
其中一個女兒說她以後會當個律師。
21:22
They don't cry like they used to,
526
1270350
2005
他們不再像過去一樣哭泣,
21:24
and they don't fight鬥爭 like they did.
527
1272355
2558
也不像過去一樣打架。
21:26
That's all I need now is my kids孩子.
528
1274913
3780
如今我只需要我的孩子們就夠了。
21:30
Things keep on changing改變,
529
1278693
1912
一切都不斷變化,
21:32
the way I dress連衣裙, the way I feel, the way I act法案.
530
1280605
5193
我的穿著、我的情緒、我的行為都變了。
21:37
I can go outside not being存在 afraid害怕 anymore,
531
1285798
3687
我不再畏懼出門,
21:41
and I don't think those bad feelings情懷 are coming未來 back,
532
1289485
3409
我想那些壞情緒再也不會回來了。
21:44
and if it weren't for Dr博士. Miranda米蘭達 and that,
533
1292894
3035
這多虧了米蘭達醫生。
21:47
I would still be at home with
the covers蓋子 pulled over my head,
534
1295929
3617
不然我還待在家裡蒙頭大睡。
21:51
if I were still alive at all.
535
1299546
2349
前提是我還活著。
21:53
I asked the Lord to send發送 me an angel天使,
536
1301895
3732
我向上帝禱告,賜我一個天使吧,
21:57
and he heard聽說 my prayers祈禱."
537
1305627
4330
衪真的聽到了我的祈禱。」
22:01
I was really moved移動 by these experiences經驗,
538
1309959
3353
我真的被這些經歷深深打動。
22:05
and I decided決定 that I wanted to write about them
539
1313312
2539
我決定寫下這些,
22:07
not only in a book I was working加工 on,
540
1315851
1379
不僅僅寫在我的書中,
22:09
but also in an article文章,
541
1317230
1311
還要寫一篇文章。
22:10
and so I got a commission佣金 from
The New York紐約 Times Magazine雜誌
542
1318541
2321
我從紐約時代雜誌得到一份約稿,
22:12
to write about depression蕭條 among其中 the indigent貧困.
543
1320862
2016
寫寫低收入者的憂鬱情況。
22:14
And I turned轉身 in my story故事,
544
1322878
1616
我交出了稿件,
22:16
and my editor編輯 called me and said,
545
1324494
1596
我的編輯打電話告訴我:
22:18
"We really can't publish發布 this."
546
1326090
1710
「我們可不能發表這個。」
22:19
And I said, "Why not?"
547
1327800
1750
我問:「為什麼不行?」
22:21
And she said, "It just is too far-fetched牽強.
548
1329550
2305
她回答說:「這故事太勉強了。
22:23
These people who are sort分類 of at
the very bottom底部 rung梯級 of society社會
549
1331855
3778
這些人處於社會最底層,
22:27
and then they get a few少數 months個月 of treatment治療
550
1335633
1704
然後他們接受了幾個月的治療,
22:29
and they're virtually實質上 ready準備 to run Morgan摩根 Stanley斯坦利?
551
1337337
2632
接著就能去管理摩根斯坦利了?
(Morgan Stanley:知名投資公司)
22:31
It's just too implausible難以置信."
552
1339969
1854
這太沒說服力了。」
22:33
She said, I've never even heard聽說 of anything like it."
553
1341823
2205
她說:「我從來沒聽過這種事情。」
22:36
And I said, "The fact事實 that you've never heard聽說 of it
554
1344028
2534
我回答:「你沒有聽過這樣的事情,
22:38
is an indication跡象 that it is news新聞."
555
1346562
3000
正說明了這是條新聞。」
22:41
(Laughter笑聲) (Applause掌聲)
556
1349562
6134
(笑聲)(掌聲)
22:49
"And you are a news新聞 magazine雜誌."
557
1357317
2494
「而你們可是一家新聞雜誌社。」
22:51
So after a certain某些 amount of negotiation談判,
558
1359811
1982
經過一些交涉協商,
22:53
they agreed約定 to it.
559
1361793
1241
他們同意發表。
22:55
But I think a lot of what they said
560
1363034
1615
之後我想了很多,雜誌社的想法
22:56
was connected連接的 in some strange奇怪 way
561
1364649
2295
在某個詭異的層面上
跟另一個觀點雷同,
22:58
to this distaste厭惡 that people still have
562
1366944
2142
即人們依然對治療憂鬱症
23:01
for the idea理念 of treatment治療,
563
1369086
1463
覺得反感。
23:02
the notion概念 that somehow不知何故 if we went out
564
1370549
1882
如果我們去貧窮地區
23:04
and treated治療 a lot of people in indigent貧困 communities社區,
565
1372431
2696
大規模治療人們的憂鬱症,
23:07
that would be an exploitative剝削 thing to do,
566
1375127
1898
這會是一件具有剝削意義的事情,
23:09
because we would be changing改變 them.
567
1377025
1642
因為我們將會改造他們。
23:10
There is this false moral道德 imperative勢在必行
568
1378667
2033
似乎所有的人
23:12
that seems似乎 to be all around us
569
1380700
1789
都有一種錯誤的道德約束,
23:14
that treatment治療 of depression蕭條,
570
1382489
2354
認為憂鬱症的治療,
23:16
the medications藥物治療 and so on, are an artifice技巧,
571
1384843
2299
包括藥物和其他治療,都是人工的、
23:19
and that it's not natural自然.
572
1387142
2172
而不是自然的過程。
23:21
And I think that's very misguided誤導.
573
1389314
2849
我想這想法是非常誤導人的。
23:24
It would be natural自然 for people's人們 teeth to fall秋季 out,
574
1392163
3532
按照自然規律,
人的牙齒應該逐漸掉落,
23:27
but there is nobody沒有人 militatingmilitating against反對 toothpaste牙膏,
575
1395695
3330
但是沒人會反對使用牙膏,
23:31
at least最小 not in my circles.
576
1399025
2128
至少我身邊沒人反對。
23:33
And people then say, "Well, but isn't depression蕭條
577
1401153
2502
接著人們會說:「那麼,
憂鬱症難道不是人們應該經歷的過程嗎?
23:35
part部分 of what people are supposed應該 to experience經驗?
578
1403655
2185
23:37
Didn't we evolve發展 to have depression蕭條?
579
1405840
1741
憂鬱難道不是我們演化的結果嗎?
23:39
Isn't it part部分 of your personality個性?"
580
1407581
1907
它不是個性的一部分嗎?」
23:41
To which哪一個 I would say, mood心情 is adaptive自適應.
581
1409488
2746
對此我想說的是,
情緒是可以適應調整的。
23:44
Being存在 able能夠 to have sadness and fear恐懼
582
1412234
3329
我們能夠感受悲傷、害怕、
23:47
and joy喜悅 and pleasure樂趣
583
1415563
1842
快樂、愉悅,
23:49
and all of the other moods情緒 that we have,
584
1417405
1803
和其它所有的情緒,
23:51
that's incredibly令人難以置信 valuable有價值.
585
1419208
2064
這彌足珍貴。
23:53
And major重大的 depression蕭條 is something that happens發生
586
1421272
3047
當這個感覺系統失靈的時候,
23:56
when that system系統 gets得到 broken破碎.
587
1424319
2012
嚴重的憂鬱症就出現了,
23:58
It's maladaptive不適應.
588
1426331
1717
這是情緒上無法適應。
24:00
People will come to me and say,
589
1428048
1572
人們來找我,跟我說:
24:01
"I think, though雖然, if I just stick it out for another另一個 year,
590
1429620
2768
「即使如此,我想如果能再堅持一年,
24:04
I think I can just get through通過 this."
591
1432388
2076
我就能好起來。」
24:06
And I always say to them, "You may可能 get through通過 it,
592
1434464
2303
我總是這樣回答他們:
「你可能會好起來,
24:08
but you'll你會 never be 37 again.
593
1436767
2709
但是你的 37 歲無法再來一次。
24:11
Life is short, and that's a whole整個 year
594
1439476
2550
人生短暫,你打算放棄
24:14
you're talking about giving up.
595
1442026
1956
這整整一年,
24:15
Think it through通過."
596
1443982
1538
你再想想吧。」
24:17
It's a strange奇怪 poverty貧窮 of the English英語 language語言,
597
1445520
2846
英語其實貧瘠得有點怪,
24:20
and indeed確實 of many許多 other languages語言,
598
1448366
2108
實際上很多其它語言也是如此,
24:22
that we use this same相同 word, depression蕭條,
599
1450474
2218
我們用同一個詞(depression:沮喪)
24:24
to describe描述 how a kid孩子 feels感覺
600
1452692
1805
來形容小孩在
過生日那天碰到下雨的心情。
24:26
when it rains降雨 on his birthday生日,
601
1454497
1712
24:28
and to describe描述 how somebody feels感覺
602
1456209
2528
同時也用這個詞來形容人們
24:30
the minute分鐘 before they commit承諾 suicide自殺.
603
1458737
2454
自殺前一分鐘的心情。
24:33
People say to me, "Well, is it
continuous連續 with normal正常 sadness?"
604
1461191
3105
人們問我:「那麼,憂鬱是不是連續的悲傷?」
24:36
And I say, in a way it's continuous連續
with normal正常 sadness.
605
1464296
3144
我回答在某種意義上,
憂鬱就是長時間的悲傷。
24:39
There is a certain某些 amount of continuity連續性,
606
1467440
2200
悲傷和憂鬱之間有一定的連續性。
24:41
but it's the same相同 way there's continuity連續性
607
1469640
1957
但是兩者的連續性,就像是
24:43
between之間 having an iron fence籬笆 outside your house
608
1471597
1987
悲傷就像是你家院子裡的鐵柵欄
24:45
that gets得到 a little rust spot
609
1473584
1677
有點鏽斑,
24:47
that you have to sand off and do a little repainting重繪,
610
1475261
2746
於是你必須打砂紙和重新上點漆。
24:50
and what happens發生 if you leave離開
the house for 100 years年份
611
1478007
2647
憂鬱則像是如果你離家 100 年之後,
24:52
and it rusts銹病 through通過 until直到 it's only a pile
612
1480654
2898
鐵柵欄從裡到外鏽到只剩下
一堆橘色粉末。
24:55
of orange橙子 dust灰塵.
613
1483552
1234
24:56
And it's that orange橙子 dust灰塵 spot,
614
1484786
2173
而就是那堆橘色粉末,
24:58
that orange橙子 dust灰塵 problem問題,
615
1486959
1789
那堆橘色的麻煩
25:00
that's the one we're setting設置 out to address地址.
616
1488748
2989
就是我們要解決的問題。
25:03
So now people say,
617
1491737
2240
所以現在人們問:
25:05
"You take these happy快樂 pills, and do you feel happy快樂?"
618
1493977
2731
「你吃了那些讓你快樂的藥,感覺開心嗎?」
25:08
And I don't.
619
1496708
1886
不,我不會開心。
25:10
But I don't feel sad傷心 about having to eat lunch午餐,
620
1498594
2822
但是我不再為了得吃午飯而沮喪,
25:13
and I don't feel sad傷心 about my answering回答 machine,
621
1501416
2836
不再因為電話答錄機而難過,
25:16
and I don't feel sad傷心 about taking服用 a shower淋浴.
622
1504252
2845
也不會因為要洗澡而煩惱。
25:19
I feel more, in fact事實, I think,
623
1507097
2854
實際上,我想我能感受到更多。
25:21
because I can feel sadness without nullity無效.
624
1509951
2430
因為我可以感覺到傷心,但不空虛。
25:24
I feel sad傷心 about professional專業的 disappointments失望,
625
1512381
4347
我因為工作上的不順心而難過,
25:28
about damaged破損 relationships關係,
626
1516728
2347
因為破碎的愛情而傷心,
25:31
about global全球 warming變暖.
627
1519075
2039
因為全球暖化而傷心,
25:33
Those are the things that I feel sad傷心 about now.
628
1521114
2725
現在這些事情讓我感到悲傷。
25:35
And I said to myself, well, what is the conclusion結論?
629
1523839
2734
我問自己,那麼結論是什麼呢?
25:38
How did those people who have better lives生活
630
1526573
2561
那些生活優渥、
病情更加嚴重的憂鬱症患者
25:41
even with bigger depression蕭條 manage管理 to get through通過?
631
1529134
2554
是怎麼熬過去的?
25:43
What is the mechanism機制 of resilience彈性?
632
1531688
2797
挺過去的方法是什麼呢?
25:46
And what I came來了 up with over time
633
1534485
2084
時間流逝,我想到的是,
25:48
was that the people who deny拒絕 their experience經驗,
634
1536569
2916
那些否定自己經歷的人,
25:51
the ones那些 who say, "I was depressed鬱悶 a long time ago
635
1539485
2032
他們會說:「很久以前我憂鬱了。
25:53
and I never want to think about it again
636
1541517
1737
我不想再想那些經歷,
25:55
and I'm not going to look at it
637
1543254
1242
我不想再看它,
25:56
and I'm just going to get on with my life,"
638
1544496
1890
我只想繼續我的生活。」
25:58
ironically諷刺地, those are the people
639
1546386
1959
諷刺的是,那些人
26:00
who are most enslaved奴役 by what they have.
640
1548345
2698
往往被自己的經歷所困。
26:03
Shutting關閉 out the depression蕭條 strengthens強化劑 it.
641
1551043
2564
迴避憂鬱只會讓它更強大。
26:05
While you hide隱藏 from it, it grows成長.
642
1553607
3280
越逃離,它就越強大。
26:08
And the people who do better
643
1556887
2860
能夠好起來的人,
26:11
are the ones那些 who are able能夠 to tolerate容忍 the fact事實
644
1559747
2599
他們能夠接受事實,
26:14
that they have this condition條件.
645
1562346
1622
承認自己的症狀。
26:15
Those who can tolerate容忍 their depression蕭條
646
1563968
2470
那些可以接納自己有憂鬱症的人
26:18
are the ones那些 who achieve實現 resilience彈性.
647
1566438
1782
會康復起來。
26:20
So Frank坦率 RussakoffRussakoff said to me,
648
1568220
1783
法蘭克後來告訴我:
26:22
"If I had it again to do over,
649
1570003
1516
「如果一切從頭來過,
26:23
I suppose假設 I wouldn't不會 do it this way,
650
1571519
2137
我想我不會這樣做,
26:25
but in a strange奇怪 way, I'm grateful感激
651
1573656
1964
但是很奇怪,我對自己的經歷
26:27
for what I've experienced有經驗的.
652
1575620
1503
非常感激。
26:29
I'm glad高興 to have been in the hospital醫院 40 times.
653
1577123
3817
我很高興自己住了 40 次醫院,
26:32
It taught me so much about love,
654
1580940
2603
這些經歷教會了我什麼是愛,
26:35
and my relationship關係 with my parents父母 and my doctors醫生
655
1583543
2840
我和父母、醫生之間的關係
26:38
has been so precious珍貴 to me, and will be always."
656
1586383
4389
對我而言非常珍貴,一輩子都受用。」
26:42
And Maggie劣質煤 Robbins羅賓斯 said,
657
1590772
1926
瑪姬曾說:
26:44
"I used to volunteer志願者 in an AIDS艾滋病 clinic診所,
658
1592698
2989
「我以前在愛滋診所裡擔任志工。
26:47
and I would just talk and talk and talk,
659
1595687
3014
我會滔滔不絕地
26:50
and the people I was dealing交易 with
660
1598701
1813
對著我負責的病患說話。
26:52
weren't very responsive響應, and I thought,
661
1600514
2067
他們沒太大反應,於是我想:
26:54
'That's not very friendly友善 or helpful有幫助 of them.'
662
1602581
3961
「他們真不友善,也不配合。」
26:58
And then I realized實現,
663
1606542
1642
後來我意識到,
27:00
I realized實現 that they weren't going to do more
664
1608184
2127
我意識到他們無法做到更多,
27:02
than make those first few少數 minutes分鐘 of small talk.
665
1610311
2387
除了完成剛開始那幾分鐘的閒談。
27:04
It was simply只是 going to be an occasion場合
666
1612698
2057
這只是一個機會,讓他們看到,
27:06
where I didn't have AIDS艾滋病 and I wasn't dying垂死,
667
1614755
2878
雖然我沒有愛滋病,也不會死去,
27:09
but could tolerate容忍 the fact事實 that they did
668
1617633
2973
但是我可以接受他們的疾病,
27:12
and they were.
669
1620606
1787
還有他們正在死去的事實。
27:14
Our needs需求 are our greatest最大 assets資產.
670
1622393
3603
我們的需求是我們最寶貴的財富。
27:17
It turns out I've learned學到了 to give
671
1625996
2139
我發現自己學會了付出
27:20
all the things I need."
672
1628135
4025
自己擁有的一切。」
27:24
Valuing價值評估 one's那些 depression蕭條
673
1632160
1691
正視憂鬱的價值
27:25
does not prevent避免 a relapse復發,
674
1633851
2194
不能防止憂鬱的復發,
27:28
but it may可能 make the prospect展望 of relapse復發
675
1636045
2661
但是可能會使復發的結果好一些,
27:30
and even relapse復發 itself本身 easier更輕鬆 to tolerate容忍.
676
1638706
4218
甚至能讓自己更容易熬過去。
27:34
The question is not so much
677
1642924
2045
問題並不在於
27:36
of finding發現 great meaning含義 and deciding決定
678
1644969
2175
找尋重大的意義,或者判斷
27:39
your depression蕭條 has been very meaningful富有意義的.
679
1647144
2027
你的憂鬱是否很有意義。
27:41
It's of seeking that meaning含義
680
1649171
2171
而是當憂鬱捲土重來的時候,
27:43
and thinking思維, when it comes again,
681
1651342
1804
尋找它的意義,並想:
27:45
"This will be hellish地獄般,
682
1653146
1640
「這會很可怕,
27:46
but I will learn學習 something from it."
683
1654786
2701
但是我會從中獲益。」
27:49
I have learned學到了 in my own擁有 depression蕭條
684
1657487
2264
我從自己的憂鬱中學到,
27:51
how big an emotion情感 can be,
685
1659751
2013
情緒的力量有多大,
27:53
how it can be more real真實 than facts事實,
686
1661764
3097
它甚至可以比事實更加真實。
27:56
and I have found發現 that that experience經驗
687
1664861
2949
我也發現那些經歷
27:59
has allowed允許 me to experience經驗 positive emotion情感
688
1667810
2892
用一種更為強烈和聚焦的方式
28:02
in a more intense激烈 and more focused重點 way.
689
1670702
3520
讓我經歷正向的情緒。
28:06
The opposite對面 of depression蕭條 is not happiness幸福,
690
1674222
3487
憂鬱的反面不是快樂,
28:09
but vitality活力,
691
1677709
1454
而是活力。
28:11
and these days, my life is vital重要,
692
1679163
2741
現在,我的生活充滿活力,
28:13
even on the days when I'm sad傷心.
693
1681904
2745
即使在我感到難過的時候也是如此。
28:16
I felt that funeral葬禮 in my brain,
694
1684649
3313
我曾在腦中感受到那場葬禮,
28:19
and I satSAT next下一個 to the colossus巨人
695
1687962
2024
我坐在一個巨人身邊,
28:21
at the edge邊緣 of the world世界,
696
1689986
2247
就在世界的邊緣,
28:24
and I have discovered發現
697
1692233
2089
我發現我的體內
28:26
something inside of myself
698
1694322
1851
有個東西,
28:28
that I would have to call a soul靈魂
699
1696173
2133
我稱之為靈魂。
28:30
that I had never formulated制定
until直到 that day 20 years年份 ago
700
1698306
3756
20 年前它從未成型,
28:34
when hell地獄 came來了 to pay工資 me a surprise visit訪問.
701
1702062
4518
直到地獄冷不防地拜訪我。
28:38
I think that while I hated being存在 depressed鬱悶
702
1706580
4098
我想即使我痛恨自己的憂鬱,
28:42
and would hate討厭 to be depressed鬱悶 again,
703
1710678
2334
痛恨又被憂鬱纏上,
28:45
I've found發現 a way to love my depression蕭條.
704
1713012
2744
我還是找到了一種方法讓自己愛上它。
28:47
I love it because it has forced被迫 me
705
1715756
2025
我愛自己的憂鬱,因為它迫使我
28:49
to find and cling依偎 to joy喜悅.
706
1717781
2769
尋找和抓緊快樂。
28:52
I love it because each day I decide決定,
707
1720550
3488
我愛我的憂鬱,因為每天,我都決定
28:56
sometimes有時 gamely勇敢地,
708
1724038
1540
去抓住活下去的理由。
28:57
and sometimes有時 against反對 the moment's片刻的 reason原因,
709
1725578
2698
雖然有時候不拘小節,
29:00
to cleave劈開 to the reasons原因 for living活的.
710
1728276
2578
有時候不合時宜。
29:02
And that, I think, is a highly高度 privileged特權 rapture歡天喜地.
711
1730854
4123
我想,這真是天賜的無上喜悅。
29:06
Thank you.
712
1734977
3983
謝謝大家。
29:10
(Applause掌聲)
713
1738960
3136
(掌聲)
Translated by Shiwen He
Reviewed by Marssi Draw

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Andrew Solomon - Writer
Andrew Solomon writes about politics, culture and psychology.

Why you should listen

Andrew Solomon is a writer, lecturer and Professor of Clinical Psychology at Columbia University. He is president of PEN American Center. He writes regularly for The New Yorker and the New York Times.

Solomon's newest book, Far and Away: Reporting from the Brink of Change, Seven Continents, Twenty-Five Years was published in April, 2016. His previous book, Far From the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity won the National Book Critics Circle award for nonfiction, the Wellcome Prize and 22 other national awards. It tells the stories of parents who not only learn to deal with their exceptional children but also find profound meaning in doing so. It was a New York Times bestseller in both hardcover and paperback editions. Solomon's previous book, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression, won the 2001 National Book Award for Nonfiction, was a finalist for the 2002 Pulitzer Prize and was included in The Times of London's list of one hundred best books of the decade. It has been published in twenty-four languages. Solomon is also the author of the novel A Stone Boat and of The Irony Tower: Soviet Artists in a Time of Glasnost.

Solomon is an activist in LGBT rights, mental health, education and the arts. He is a member of the boards of directors of the National LGBTQ Force and Trans Youth Family Allies. He is a member of the Board of Visitors of Columbia University Medical Center, serves on the National Advisory Board of the Depression Center at the University of Michigan, is a director of Columbia Psychiatry and is a member of the Advisory Board of the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. Solomon also serves on the boards of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Yaddo and The Alex Fund, which supports the education of Romani children. He is also a fellow of Berkeley College at Yale University and a member of the New York Institute for the Humanities and the Council on Foreign Relations.

Solomon lives with his husband and son in New York and London and is a dual national. He also has a daughter with a college friend; mother and daughter live in Texas but visit often.


More profile about the speaker
Andrew Solomon | Speaker | TED.com