ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Shaka Senghor - Author
Using literature as a lifeline, Shaka Senghor escaped a cycle of prison and desperation. Now his story kindles hope in those who have little.

Why you should listen

At the age of 19, Shaka Senghor went to prison fuming with anger and despair. Senghor was a drug dealer in Detroit, and one night, he shot and killed a man who showed up on his doorstep. While serving his sentence for second-degree murder, Senghor discovered redemption and responsibility through literature -- starting with The Autobiography of Malcolm X -- and through his own writing.

Upon his release at the age of 38, Senghor reached out to young men following his same troubled path, and published Live in Peace as part of an outreach program bringing hope to kids in Detroit and across the Midwest. His activism attracted the attention of the MIT Media Lab, and as a Director’s Fellow, Senghor has collaborated on imagining creative solutions for the problems plaguing distressed communities. His memoir, Writing My Wrongs, was published in 2013.

More profile about the speaker
Shaka Senghor | Speaker | TED.com
TED2014

Shaka Senghor: Why your worst deeds don’t define you

夏卡.桑格爾: 過錯不能定義你的人生

Filmed:
1,611,403 views

夏卡.桑格爾在 1991 年時槍殺了一名男子。他說自己曾是「帶著半自動手槍的急性子毒販」。他被判兩級謀殺罪而入獄服刑,故事通常在此畫下句點。但相反的,故事仍未結束,這是多年贖罪旅程的開端,也是一個帶給我們謙恭與樸實課題的故事。
- Author
Using literature as a lifeline, Shaka Senghor escaped a cycle of prison and desperation. Now his story kindles hope in those who have little. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:12
Twenty-three二十三 years年份 ago,
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23 年前,
00:15
at the age年齡 of 19,
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在我 19 歲的時候,
00:18
I shot射擊 and killed殺害 a man.
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我開槍殺了一個人。
00:21
I was a young年輕 drug藥物 dealer零售商
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當時我是新手毒販,
00:23
with a quick temper脾氣
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個性很急,
00:25
and a semi-automatic半自動 pistol手槍.
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身上還帶把半自動手槍。
00:30
But that wasn't the end結束 of my story故事.
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但那不是我的故事結局。
00:32
In fact事實, it was beginning開始,
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其實那是故事開端,
00:36
and the 23 years年份 since以來
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之後的 23 年
00:39
is a story故事 of acknowledgment承認,
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是一段認錯、
00:42
apology歉意 and atonement贖罪.
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懺悔與贖罪的故事。
00:46
But it didn't happen發生 in the way
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但那不是你想像中的樣子。
00:47
that you might威力 imagine想像 or think.
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00:51
These things occurred發生 in my life
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這些發生在我生命中的事情讓人意外,
00:52
in a way that was surprising奇怪,
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00:54
especially特別 to me.
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尤其讓我吃驚。
00:56
See, like many許多 of you,
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就像在座許多人一樣,
00:59
growing生長 up, I was an honor榮譽 roll student學生,
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成長期間,我的學業成績很好,
01:01
a scholarship獎學金 student學生,
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拿到獎學金,
01:03
with dreams of becoming變得 a doctor醫生.
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夢想要當醫生。
01:05
But things went dramatically顯著 wrong錯誤
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但是事情有了戲劇性的變化,
01:08
when my parents父母 separated分離
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因為我的父母分開、
01:10
and eventually終於 divorced離婚.
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最後以離婚收場。
01:14
The actual實際 events事件 are pretty漂亮 straightforward直截了當.
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這些事件來得勢不可當。
01:17
At the age年齡 of 17,
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17 歲的時候,
01:19
I got shot射擊 three times
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我中槍三次,
01:21
standing常設 on the corner of my block in Detroit底特律.
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那時我站在底特律家附近的街角。
01:26
My friend朋友 rushed me to the hospital醫院.
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朋友火速送我到醫院。
01:28
Doctors醫生 pulled the bullets子彈 out,
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醫生取出子彈,
01:32
patched修補 me up,
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為我包紮,
01:33
and sent發送 me back to the same相同
neighborhood鄰里 where I got shot射擊.
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之後再送我回到發生槍擊的街區。
01:38
Throughout始終 this ordeal考驗,
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經過這場可怕的經歷,
01:40
no one hugged擁抱 me,
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沒人擁抱我,
01:43
no one counseled勸告 me,
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沒人安慰我,
01:45
no one told me I would be okay.
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沒人告訴我,一切都會好轉。
01:48
No one told me that I would live生活 in fear恐懼,
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沒人告訴我,我會活在恐懼中,
01:51
that I would become成為 paranoid偏執,
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我會變得偏執,
01:53
or that I would react應對 hyper-violently超暴力
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或是我對被射傷的反應會非常激烈。
01:56
to being存在 shot射擊.
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01:59
No one told me that one day,
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沒人告訴我,
有一天我會成為站在扳機後的那個人。
02:02
I would become成為 the person behind背後 the trigger觸發.
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02:06
Fourteen十四 months個月 later後來,
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14 個月後,
02:08
at 2 a.m.,
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凌晨兩點,
02:11
I fired解僱 the shots鏡頭
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我開了槍,
02:13
that caused造成 a man's男人的 death死亡.
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殺死了一個人。
02:16
When I entered進入 prison監獄,
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入獄的時候,
02:18
I was bitter, I was angry憤怒, I was hurt傷害.
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我很怨恨,我很生氣,我很痛苦,
02:24
I didn't want to take responsibility責任.
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我不想負責。
02:27
I blamed指責 everybody每個人 from my parents父母
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我怪罪每個人,
從怪罪父母,一路怪到制度。
02:29
to the system系統.
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02:32
I rationalized合理化 my decision決定 to shoot射擊
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我合理化自己開槍的決定,
02:34
because in the hood引擎罩 where I come from,
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因為在我住的街區,
02:36
it's better to be the shooter射手
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選擇當個開槍的人
好過當個中槍的人。
02:38
than the person getting得到 shot射擊.
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02:41
As I satSAT in my cold cell細胞,
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我坐在寒冷的牢房裡,
02:45
I felt helpless無助,
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感到無助,失去關愛,被人遺棄。
02:46
unloved沒人愛 and abandoned.
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02:50
I felt like nobody沒有人 cared照顧,
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我覺得沒人在乎我,
02:54
and I reacted反應
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鋃鐺入獄讓我滿腹怨恨。
02:56
with hostility敵意 to my confinement坐月子.
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02:59
And I found發現 myself getting得到
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我發現自己在麻煩裡越陷越深。
03:00
deeper更深 and deeper更深 into trouble麻煩.
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03:02
I ran black黑色 market市場 stores商店,
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我常跑黑店、
03:05
I loan貸款 sharkedsharked,
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放高利貸、
03:08
and I sold出售 drugs毒品 that were illegally非法 smuggled走私
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走私毒品到監獄賣。
03:10
into the prison監獄.
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03:12
I had in fact事實 become成為
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其實我變成了
03:13
what the warden看守 of the Michigan密歇根州 Reformatory工讀學校 called
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密西根感化院典獄長稱的:
03:16
"the worst最差 of the worst最差."
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「萬惡之極。」
03:19
And because of my activity活動,
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因為那些行動,
03:21
I landed登陸 in solitary confinement坐月子
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我被單獨監禁
03:24
for seven and a half years年份
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長達七年半之久。
03:26
out of my incarceration監禁.
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現在回過頭看,
03:29
Now as I see it, solitary confinement坐月子
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我認為單獨監禁是你能找到
03:31
is one of the most inhumane不人道 and barbaric野蠻 places地方
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03:33
you can find yourself你自己,
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最不人道和野蠻的場所,
03:36
but find myself I did.
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但卻是我找到自己的地方。
03:39
One day, I was pacing起搏 my cell細胞,
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某天,我在牢房裡踱步,
03:42
when an officer came來了 and delivered交付 mail郵件.
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警官送信過來。
03:47
I looked看著 at a couple一對 of letters
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看了幾封信之後,
03:48
before I looked看著 at the letter
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我開始讀兒子親手寫的那封
03:50
that had my son's兒子 squiggly彎彎曲曲 handwriting手寫 on it.
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歪七扭八字跡的信。
每次,我都會收到他的信,
03:53
And anytime任何時候 I would get a letter from my son兒子,
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03:55
it was like a ray射線 of light
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那就像是黑暗深處裡的一線曙光。
03:57
in the darkest最黑暗 place地點 you can imagine想像.
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04:00
And on this particular特定 day, I opened打開 this letter,
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在這特別的日子,我打開信,
04:03
and in capital首都 letters, he wrote,
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他用大寫的字體寫下:
04:06
"My mama媽媽 told me why you was in prison監獄:
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「媽媽說你被關在監獄,
04:10
murder謀殺."
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因為你是殺人兇手。」
04:12
He said, "Dad, don't kill.
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他說:「爸爸,不要殺人。
04:14
Jesus耶穌 watches手錶 what you do. Pray祈禱 to Him."
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耶穌在看你做了什麼事,
你要向衪禱告。」
那時候我不信神,
04:20
Now, I wasn't religious宗教 at that time,
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04:22
nor也不 am I religious宗教 now,
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現在也不信,
04:23
but it was something so profound深刻
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但我兒子的話對我來說意義深遠。
04:26
about my son's兒子 words.
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04:29
They made製作 me examine檢查 things about my life
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那些話讓我檢視自己在生命中
04:30
that I hadn't有沒有 considered考慮.
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從未思考過的事。
04:32
It was the first time in my life
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這是我此生第一次真的意識到
04:34
that I had actually其實 thought about the fact事實
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04:36
that my son兒子 would see me as a murderer兇手.
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我兒子會把我看做殺人兇手的事實。
04:40
I satSAT back on my bunk假寐
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我坐在床上,
04:42
and I reflected反射的 on something I had read
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回想起之前讀到柏拉圖的著作,
04:44
in [Plato柏拉圖],
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04:46
where Socrates蘇格拉底 stated聲明 in "Apology歉意"
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在<申辯篇>中,蘇格拉底曾說
04:48
that the unexamined渾渾噩噩 life isn't worth價值 living活的.
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未經反省的人生不值得活。
04:53
At that point is when the transformation轉型 began開始.
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那個時刻正是改變的開始。
04:58
But it didn't come easy簡單.
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但卻得之不易。
05:03
One of the things I realized實現,
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我領悟了一件事,
05:05
which哪一個 was part部分 of the transformation轉型,
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那就是轉變有四個關鍵。
05:07
was that there were four key things.
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05:11
The first thing was,
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首先,我有很棒的良師益友。
05:13
I had great mentors導師.
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05:16
Now, I know some of you all are probably大概 thinking思維,
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我知道你們之中大概有人會想,
05:18
how did you find a great mentor導師 in prison監獄?
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你在監獄怎麼找到良師益友?
05:21
But in my case案件,
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但以我來說,
05:24
some of my mentors導師
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有一些良師益友雖然被判無期徒刑,
05:25
who are serving服務 life sentences句子
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05:27
were some of the best最好 people
to ever come into my life,
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但他們卻是我此生
接觸過最好的人之一,
05:30
because they forced被迫 me to look at my life honestly老老實實,
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因為他們強迫我誠實面對自己的人生,
05:33
and they forced被迫 me to challenge挑戰 myself
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他們強迫我挑戰自己做決定。
05:35
about my decision決定 making製造.
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05:37
The second第二 thing was literature文學.
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第二,是文學。
05:41
Prior to going to prison監獄,
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在進監獄之前,
05:43
I didn't know that there were so many許多 brilliant輝煌
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我不認識那麼多才華洋溢的
05:45
black黑色 poets詩人, authors作者 and philosophers哲學家,
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黑人詩人、作家和哲學家,
05:48
and then I had the great fortune幸運
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但後來,我很幸運
05:51
of encountering遇到 Malcolm馬爾科姆 X'sX的 autobiography自傳,
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能讀到麥爾坎.X 的自傳,
05:56
and it shattered破滅 every一切
stereotype鉛板 I had about myself.
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那本書粉碎我對自己的每一個刻板印象。
06:00
The third第三 thing was family家庭.
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第三是家庭。
06:03
For 19 years年份, my father父親 stood站在 by my side
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19 年來,我父親無條件支持我,
06:07
with an unshakable不可動搖 faith信仰,
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對我深信不疑,
06:10
because he believed相信 that I had what it took
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因為他相信我擁有能改變生命的東西。
06:11
to turn my life around.
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06:14
I also met會見 an amazing驚人 woman女人
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我也碰到一位神奇的女士,
06:17
who is now the mother母親 of
my two-year-old二十歲 son兒子 Sekou蛇口,
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現在她是我兩歲兒子塞谷的媽,
06:20
and she taught me how to love myself
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她教我用健康的方式愛自己。
06:22
in a healthy健康 way.
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06:26
The final最後 thing was writing寫作.
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最後一件事是寫作。
06:29
When I got that letter from my son兒子,
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收到兒子的信之後,
06:31
I began開始 to write a journal日誌
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我開始寫日誌,
06:33
about things I had experienced有經驗的 in my childhood童年
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記錄我在童年時期,以及坐牢時的經歷,
06:36
and in prison監獄,
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06:38
and what it did is it opened打開 up my mind心神 to the idea理念
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這件事讓我敞開心胸,
06:42
of atonement贖罪.
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願意贖罪。
06:45
Earlier in my incarceration監禁, I had received收到
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我剛開始被關的時候,
06:47
a letter from one of the relatives親戚們 of my victim受害者,
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收到一封被害人親戚的來信,
06:50
and in that letter,
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在那封信中,
06:53
she told me she forgave寬恕 me,
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她說她原諒我,
06:55
because she realized實現 I was a young年輕 child兒童
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因為她知道我只是個孩子,
06:57
who had been abused濫用
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曾被虐待,
06:58
and had been through通過 some hardships艱辛
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有一些痛苦的經歷,
07:00
and just made製作 a series系列 of poor較差的 decisions決定.
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只是做了一連串錯誤的決定。
07:03
It was the first time in my life
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那是我這輩子第一次
07:05
that I ever felt open打開 to forgiving寬容 myself.
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開始接受要原諒自己。
07:13
One of the things that happened發生
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在那之後發生了一件事,
07:14
after that experience經驗 is that
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07:17
I thought about the other men男人 who were incarcerated嵌頓
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我想到被關在我附近的那些人,
07:19
alongside並肩 of me,
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07:20
and how much I wanted to share分享 this with them.
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我很想和他們分享這個想法。
07:23
And so I started開始 talking to them about
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因此我們開始談他們的經驗,
07:25
some of their experiences經驗,
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07:27
and I was devastated滿目瘡痍 to realize實現
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我非常震驚,
07:29
that most of them came來了 from
the same相同 abusive濫用的 environments環境,
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他們大多來自同樣會受到暴力的環境,
07:32
And most of them wanted help
and they wanted to turn it around,
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大部分的人都需要幫助,
也都希望一切能好轉,
07:35
but unfortunately不幸 the system系統
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但不幸的是,
07:37
that currently目前 holds持有 2.5 million百萬 people in prison監獄
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目前關了 250 萬人的監獄
07:40
is designed設計 to warehouse倉庫
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是設計來裝人,
07:43
as opposed反對 to rehabilitate恢復 or transform轉變.
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而不是用來修復或改變人的地方。
07:47
So I made製作 it up in my mind心神
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因此我決定
07:49
that if I was ever released發布 from prison監獄
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如果有朝一日離開監獄,
07:51
that I would do everything in my power功率
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我會盡我最大的能力
07:53
to help change更改 that.
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來改變這件事。
07:57
In 2010, I walked out of prison監獄
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我在 2010 年時出獄,
07:59
for the first time after two decades幾十年.
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這是二十年來的第一次。
08:03
Now imagine想像, if you will,
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請想像
08:04
Fred弗雷德 Flintstone打火石 walking步行 into an episode插曲
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摩登原始人走進「傑森一家」裡。
08:07
of "The Jetsons摩登家庭."
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08:09
That was pretty漂亮 much what my life was like.
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那就和我的生活差不多。
08:12
For the first time, I was exposed裸露 to the Internet互聯網,
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那是我第一次接觸網路、
08:15
social社會 media媒體,
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社群媒體,
08:17
cars汽車 that talk like KITT基特 from "Knight騎士 Rider騎士."
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還有像霹靂遊俠裡的夥計
一樣會說話的車。
08:21
But the thing that fascinated入迷 me the most
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不過最讓我著迷的是電話。
08:23
was phone電話 technology技術.
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08:25
See, when I went to prison監獄,
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我進監獄時,
08:26
our car汽車 phones手機 were this big
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車上的電話這麼大,
08:28
and required需要 two people to carry攜帶 them.
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還得要兩個人拿著。
08:30
So imagine想像 what it was like when I first grabbed抓起
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想像一下,我第一次拿著我的小黑莓機,
08:33
my little Blackberry黑莓
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08:35
and I started開始 learning學習 how to text文本.
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開始學怎麼傳簡訊。
08:37
But the thing is, the people around me,
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但問題是我週遭的親友都不了解
08:38
they didn't realize實現 that I had no idea理念
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我怎麼會對所有簡稱毫無頭緒,
08:40
what all these abbreviated簡短的 texts文本 meant意味著,
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08:43
like LOL大聲笑, OMG我的天啊, LMAOLMAO,
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像是 LOL(大笑)、OMG(我的天)、
LMAO(笑屎人)之類的,
08:48
until直到 one day I was having a conversation會話
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直到有天我和朋友用簡訊聊天,
08:49
with one of my friends朋友 via通過 text文本,
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08:52
and I asked him to do something,
and he responded回應 back, "K."
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我請他幫忙,他回了「K」。
08:56
And I was like, "What is K?"
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我傳:「什麼是 K?」
08:59
And he was like, "K is okay."
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他傳:「K 就是 OK。」
09:01
So in my head, I was like,
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我腦袋想的是:
09:02
"Well what the hell地獄 is wrong錯誤 with K?"
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「K 是哪裡有毛病?」
09:05
And so I text文本 him a question mark標記.
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所以我傳了問號給他。
09:07
And he said, "K = okay."
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他說:「K = OK。」
09:11
And so I tap龍頭 back, "FUFU." (Laughter笑聲)
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我回傳:「FU。(髒話簡稱)」
(笑聲)
09:16
And then he texts文本 back, and he asks me
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然後他回傳問我
09:17
why was I cussing罵人 him out.
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為什麼要罵他。
09:19
And I said, "LOL大聲笑 FUFU,"
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我說:「LOL FU。」
09:22
as in, I finally最後 understand理解.
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我終於理解了。
09:23
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
09:25
And so fast快速 forward前鋒 three years年份,
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時間飛快過了三年,
09:29
I'm doing relatively相對 good.
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我適應得還不錯。
09:31
I have a fellowship獎學金 at MITMIT Media媒體 Lab實驗室,
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我拿到麻省理工學院
媒體實驗室的研究獎金,
09:33
I work for an amazing驚人 company公司 called BMeBME,
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在一間很棒的公司工作,叫 BMe,
09:37
I teach at the University大學 of Michigan密歇根州,
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還在密西根大學任教,
09:39
but it's been a struggle鬥爭
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但是我一直在掙扎,
09:41
because I realize實現 that there are more
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因為我了解
09:42
men男人 and women婦女 coming未來 home
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有更多人回到家之後,
09:44
who are not going to be
afforded提供 those opportunities機會.
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不會得到那些機會。
09:47
I've been blessed幸福 to work with some amazing驚人
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我很幸運能和許多很棒的人一起工作,
09:49
men男人 and women婦女,
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09:52
helping幫助 others其他 reenter重新進入 society社會,
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幫助其他人重返社會,
09:53
and one of them is my friend朋友 named命名 Calvin卡爾文 Evans埃文斯.
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其中有一位是我的朋友凱文.伊凡斯。
09:58
He served提供服務 24 years年份 for a crime犯罪 he didn't commit承諾.
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他因為一件從未犯的罪坐了 24 年牢。
10:01
He's 45 years年份 old. He's currently目前 enrolled就讀 in college學院.
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他 45 歲,正在唸大學。
10:04
And one of the things that we talked about
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我們曾討論過
10:06
is the three things that I found發現 important重要
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我發現在我個人轉變中很重要的三件事,
10:08
in my personal個人 transformation轉型,
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10:09
the first being存在 acknowledgment承認.
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第一件事,是認錯。
10:11
I had to acknowledge確認 that I had hurt傷害 others其他.
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我必須承認我曾傷害別人。
10:14
I also had to acknowledge確認 that I had been hurt傷害.
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我也必須承認自己受了傷。
10:17
The second第二 thing was apologizing道歉.
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第二件事,是道歉。
10:19
I had to apologize道歉 to the people I had hurt傷害.
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我得向曾被我傷害的人道歉。
10:21
Even though雖然 I had no expectations期望
of them accepting驗收 it,
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即使我毫不期待他們會接受,
10:23
it was important重要 to do because it was the right thing.
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但那卻很重要,因為那是對的事。
10:26
But I also had to apologize道歉 to myself.
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而且我也必須向自己道歉。
10:29
The third第三 thing was atoning贖罪.
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第三件事,是贖罪。
10:32
For me, atoning贖罪 meant意味著
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對我來說,贖罪意謂著回到我的社區,
10:33
going back into my community社區
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10:35
and working加工 with at-risk有一定風險 youth青年
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服務走上同樣道路的高風險青少年,
10:36
who were on the same相同 path路徑,
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10:38
but also becoming變得 at one with myself.
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並且成為和我一樣的人。
10:42
Through通過 my experience經驗 of being存在 locked鎖定 up,
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有過被關進牢房的經驗後,我發現:
10:44
one of the things I discovered發現 is this:
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10:46
the majority多數 of men男人 and women婦女
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大多數的受刑人都還有救,
10:47
who are incarcerated嵌頓 are redeemable贖回,
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10:51
and the fact事實 is,
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事實上,
10:52
90 percent百分 of the men男人 and
women婦女 who are incarcerated嵌頓
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90% 的受刑人之後會回到社區,
10:54
will at some point return返回 to the community社區,
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10:57
and we have a role角色 in determining決定 what kind
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有個人有權決定
10:59
of men男人 and women婦女 return返回 to our community社區.
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什麼樣的人可以重返社區。
11:02
My wish希望 today今天
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今天我希望
11:05
is that we will embrace擁抱
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我們能採取
11:09
a more empathetic感情移入的 approach途徑
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更有同理心的方式
11:11
toward how we deal合同 with mass incarceration監禁,
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處理大規模的監禁問題,
11:14
that we will do away with
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摒除把人關起來就置之不理的態度,
11:15
the lock-them-up-and-throw-away-the-key鎖定了他們,向上和扔掉的最關鍵 mentality心理,
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11:18
because it's proven證明 it doesn't work.
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因為事實證明那沒有用。
11:21
My journey旅程 is a unique獨特 journey旅程,
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我擁有一段獨特旅程,
11:24
but it doesn't have to be that way.
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但那不代表非得如此不可。
11:27
Anybody任何人 can have a transformation轉型
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任何人都能改變,
11:29
if we create創建 the space空間 for that to happen發生.
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只要我們允許發生的可能。
11:32
So what I'm asking today今天
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因此,今天我請各位想像
11:34
is that you envision預見
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11:35
a world世界 where men男人 and women婦女
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一個人人不會被過去綁住的世界,
11:38
aren't held保持 hostage人質 to their pasts的過去,
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11:41
where misdeeds劣跡 and mistakes錯誤
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一個罪行和錯誤
11:43
don't define確定 you for the rest休息 of your life.
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不會定義你未來人生的世界。
11:46
I think collectively, we can create創建 that reality現實,
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我想我們能一同實現,
11:49
and I hope希望 you do too.
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希望你也有同感。
11:50
Thank you.
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謝謝。
11:52
(Applause掌聲)
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(掌聲)
Translated by Marssi Draw
Reviewed by Ana Choi

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Shaka Senghor - Author
Using literature as a lifeline, Shaka Senghor escaped a cycle of prison and desperation. Now his story kindles hope in those who have little.

Why you should listen

At the age of 19, Shaka Senghor went to prison fuming with anger and despair. Senghor was a drug dealer in Detroit, and one night, he shot and killed a man who showed up on his doorstep. While serving his sentence for second-degree murder, Senghor discovered redemption and responsibility through literature -- starting with The Autobiography of Malcolm X -- and through his own writing.

Upon his release at the age of 38, Senghor reached out to young men following his same troubled path, and published Live in Peace as part of an outreach program bringing hope to kids in Detroit and across the Midwest. His activism attracted the attention of the MIT Media Lab, and as a Director’s Fellow, Senghor has collaborated on imagining creative solutions for the problems plaguing distressed communities. His memoir, Writing My Wrongs, was published in 2013.

More profile about the speaker
Shaka Senghor | Speaker | TED.com