ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Jill Bolte Taylor - Neuroanatomist
Brain researcher Jill Bolte Taylor studied her own stroke as it happened -- and has become a powerful voice for brain recovery.

Why you should listen

One morning, a blood vessel in Jill Bolte Taylor's brain exploded. As a brain scientist, she realized she had a ringside seat to her own stroke. She watched as her brain functions shut down one by one: motion, speech, memory, self-awareness ...

Amazed to find herself alive, Taylor spent eight years recovering her ability to think, walk and talk. She has become a spokesperson for stroke recovery and for the possibility of coming back from brain injury stronger than before. In her case, although the stroke damaged the left side of her brain, her recovery unleashed a torrent of creative energy from her right. From her home base in Indiana, she now travels the country on behalf of the Harvard Brain Bank as the "Singin' Scientist."

More profile about the speaker
Jill Bolte Taylor | Speaker | TED.com
TED2008

Jill Bolte Taylor: My stroke of insight

吉兒泰勒-你腦內的兩個世界

Filmed:
26,359,883 views

吉兒泰勒親身經歷過少數腦部科學家希望擁有的研究經驗:她親身經歷過一次腦中風。看著自己的腦功能徹底退化--動作、言語、自我意識都一一退化。這是一段動人的演講。
- Neuroanatomist
Brain researcher Jill Bolte Taylor studied her own stroke as it happened -- and has become a powerful voice for brain recovery. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:18
I grew成長 up to study研究 the brain
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我決定研究腦部
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because I have a brother哥哥 who has been diagnosed確診 with a brain disorder紊亂:
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是因為我的哥哥被診斷出
00:25
schizophrenia精神分裂症. And as a sister妹妹
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精神分裂症。我身為他的妹妹
00:27
and later後來, as a scientist科學家, I wanted to understand理解, why
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以及一個科學家,我想了解為什麼
00:31
is it that I can take my dreams, I can connect
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我可以將我的夢想
00:34
them to my reality現實, and I can make my dreams come true真正?
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和現實生活做連結,並讓我的夢想成真
00:37
What is it about my brother's兄弟 brain and
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而我的哥哥
00:41
his schizophrenia精神分裂症 that he cannot不能 connect his
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卻沒辦法將他的夢想連結到
00:44
dreams to a common共同 and shared共享 reality現實, so they
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大家共享的現實世界中
00:48
instead代替 become成為 delusion妄想?
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導致這些夢想變成幻覺?
00:51
So I dedicated專用 my career事業 to research研究 into the
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所以我全心投入
00:53
severe嚴重 mental心理 illnesses疾病. And I moved移動 from my home state
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重度心理疾病的研究,並從我的家鄉
00:56
of Indiana印地安那 to Boston波士頓, where I was working加工 in
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印第安那州搬遷到了波士頓
00:59
the lab實驗室 of Dr博士. Francine弗朗辛 Benes貝奈斯, in the Harvard哈佛
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到哈佛大學精神醫學部, Francine Benes博士的
01:02
Department of Psychiatry精神病學. And in the lab實驗室, we were asking the question,
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研究室工作。我們研究的問題是
01:08
"What are the biological生物 differences分歧 between之間 the brains大腦 of individuals個人
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所謂「正常人」的大腦和那些
01:13
who would be diagnosed確診 as normal正常 control控制,
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精神分裂患者
01:15
as compared相比 with the brains大腦 of individuals個人 diagnosed確診 with
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精神混亂患者
01:18
schizophrenia精神分裂症, schizoaffective分裂情感 or bipolar雙極 disorder紊亂?"
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和躁鬱患者的大腦,在生理上到底有什麼不同?
01:23
So we were essentially實質上 mapping製圖 the microcircuitry微型電路
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我們其實在繪出腦內的電路
01:26
of the brain: which哪一個 cells細胞 are communicating通信 with
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哪些細胞會跟哪些細胞溝通?
01:29
which哪一個 cells細胞, with which哪一個 chemicals化學製品, and then in
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用什麼化學物質來溝通?
01:32
what quantities數量 of those chemicals化學製品?
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用多少化學物質來溝通?
01:35
So there was a lot of meaning含義 in my life because I was performing執行
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我白天都在做這種研究
01:39
this type類型 of research研究 during the day.
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所以日子過的很充實
01:42
But then in the evenings晚上 and on the weekends週末,
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到了晚上和週末
01:45
I traveled旅行 as an advocate主張 for NAMINAMI, the National國民 Alliance聯盟 on Mental心理 Illness疾病.
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我四處奔走替 NAMI (國家心理疾病聯盟) 作宣導
01:50
But on the morning早上 of December十二月 10, 1996, I woke醒來 up
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但是在1996年10月10號,我醒來時
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to discover發現 that I had a brain disorder紊亂 of my own擁有.
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發現自己的腦部出現了問題
01:57
A blood血液 vessel船隻 exploded爆炸 in the left half of my brain.
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一根血管在我的左腦破裂
02:01
And in the course課程 of four hours小時,
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在接下來的四個鐘頭
02:03
I watched看著 my brain completely全然 deteriorate惡化 in its ability能力 to
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我看著自己的腦功能徹底退化
02:08
process處理 all information信息. On the morning早上 of the hemorrhage出血,
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腦溢血的那個早上
02:12
I could not walk步行, talk, read, write or recall召回 any of my life.
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我無法行走、說話、閱讀、寫字,或是記得我的人生
02:18
I essentially實質上 became成為 an infant嬰兒 in a woman's女人的 body身體.
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我幾乎變成了個嬰兒,躲在女人的軀殼裡
02:23
If you've ever seen看到 a human人的 brain,
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如果你看過人腦
02:26
it's obvious明顯 that the two hemispheres半球 are completely全然 separate分離 from one another另一個.
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就會很清楚知道,腦的左右兩半球是完全分開的
02:29
And I have brought for you a real真實 human人的 brain.
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我帶來了一個真的人腦
02:38
So this is a real真實 human人的 brain.
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這是真的人腦
02:46
This is the front面前 of the brain,
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這是腦的前端
02:48
the back of brain with the spinal cord hanging down,
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這是腦的後端,連接著脊髓
02:52
and this is how it would be positioned定位的 inside of my head.
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而在我的頭顱裡面,它是這樣擺著的
02:56
And when you look at the brain, it's obvious明顯 that
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我們的大腦的兩個半球
02:58
the two cerebral顱內 cortices皮層 are completely全然 separate分離 from one another另一個.
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是完全分離的
03:04
For those of you who understand理解 computers電腦,
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用電腦術語來講
03:06
our right hemisphere半球 functions功能 like a parallel平行 processor處理器,
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右腦的功能像一個並聯處理器
03:09
while our left hemisphere半球 functions功能 like a serial串行 processor處理器.
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而左腦像一個串聯處理器
03:13
The two hemispheres半球 do communicate通信 with one another另一個
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左腦和右腦靠著
03:16
through通過 the corpus文集 collosum胝體,
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胼胝體來溝通
03:18
which哪一個 is made製作 up of some 300 million百萬 axonal軸突 fibers纖維.
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是由三億個神經元軸突纖維組成的構造
03:22
But other than that,
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除此之外
03:24
the two hemispheres半球 are completely全然 separate分離.
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左右腦是完全分離的
03:28
Because they process處理 information信息 differently不同,
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因為左腦和右腦用不同的方式處理資訊
03:31
each of our hemispheres半球 think about different不同 things,
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想著不同的事情
03:34
they care關心 about different不同 things, and, dare I say,
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關心不同的事情
03:38
they have very different不同 personalities個性.
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所以我說他們有迥異的性格
03:43
Excuse藉口 me. Thank you. It's been a joy喜悅. Assistant助理: It has been.
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麻煩一下,謝謝,這真是歡樂。(助理:是呀!)
03:51
Our right human人的 hemisphere半球 is all about this present當下 moment時刻.
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我們的右腦只關心此時
03:55
It's all about "right here, right now."
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此刻、當下
04:00
Our right hemisphere半球, it thinks in pictures圖片
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它用圖像來思考
04:03
and it learns獲悉 kinestheticallykinesthetically through通過 the movement運動 of our bodies身體.
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用肢體運動來學習
04:07
Information信息, in the form形成 of energy能源, streams in simultaneously同時
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外界的資訊以能量的型態不斷地流進
04:12
through通過 all of our sensory感覺的 systems系統
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我們的感覺神經系統
04:14
and then it explodes爆炸 into this enormous巨大 collage大學
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然後在體內如爆炸般地
04:17
of what this present當下 moment時刻 looks容貌 like,
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拼湊出「當下」的模樣
04:21
what this present當下 moment時刻 smells氣味 like and tastes口味 like,
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「當下」的氣味
04:24
what it feels感覺 like and what it sounds聲音 like.
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觸感和聲音
04:29
I am an energy-being能量感 connected連接的 to the energy能源 all around me
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「我」是一種能量體,藉由右腦的意識
04:34
through通過 the consciousness意識 of my right hemisphere半球.
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與外界的能量連結
04:37
We are energy-beings能源眾生 connected連接的 to one another另一個
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我們都是能量體
04:41
through通過 the consciousness意識 of our right hemispheres半球 as one human人的 family家庭.
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藉由右腦的作用彼此連結成一個大家族
04:47
And right here,
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而此時此地
04:49
right now, we are brothers兄弟 and sisters姐妹 on this planet行星,
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我們都是這星球上的兄弟姊妹
04:51
here to make the world世界 a better place地點.
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為了讓這個世界更美好而存在
04:55
And in this moment時刻 we are perfect完善, we are whole整個 and we are beautiful美麗.
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在這當下,我們是完美無暇的,是完整的,是美麗的
05:02
My left hemisphere半球 -- our left hemisphere半球 -- is a very different不同 place地點.
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左腦則是個很不一樣的情況
05:07
Our left hemisphere半球 thinks linearly線性 and methodically有條不紊.
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它用線性和規律去思考
05:11
Our left hemisphere半球
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我們的左腦
05:13
is all about the past過去 and it's all about the future未來.
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關心著過去和未來
05:17
Our left hemisphere半球 is designed設計 to take that
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它的功能在於
05:20
enormous巨大 collage大學 of the present當下 moment時刻 and start開始
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把我們拼湊出來的「當下」
05:23
picking選擇 out details細節, details細節 and more details細節 about those details細節.
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挑選其中的細節,以及細節中的細節
05:27
It then categorizes分類 and
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並把這些細節分類整理
05:29
organizes舉辦 all that information信息, associates聯營 it
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再把它們連結到
05:33
with everything in the past過去 we've我們已經 ever learned學到了, and
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過去的經驗
05:36
projects項目 into the future未來 all of our possibilities可能性.
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和未來的憧憬
05:40
And our left hemisphere半球 thinks in language語言.
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我們的左腦用語言來思考
05:44
It's that ongoing不斷的 brain chatter喋喋不休 that connects所連接 me and my
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它是把「我」的內心世界
05:47
internal內部 world世界 to my external外部 world世界.
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和外在環境持續連結起來的獨白
05:51
It's that little voice語音 that says to me, "Hey, you gotta總得 remember記得
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它是提醒我「回家的路上
05:55
to pick up bananas香蕉 on your way home.
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記得要買香蕉,早上要吃的」
05:58
I need them in the morning早上."
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的那個小聲音
05:59
It's that calculating計算 intelligence情報 that reminds提醒 me
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它是告訴個聰明的聲音
06:02
when I have to do my laundry洗衣店. But perhaps也許 most important重要,
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告訴我什麼時候該送洗衣服。最重要的
06:05
it's that little voice語音 that says to me,
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它是告訴我:
06:09
"I am. I am." And as soon不久 as my left hemisphere半球 says to me "I am,"
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「我是我」的那個聲音。當我的左腦告訴我:「我是我」的時候
06:15
I become成為 separate分離.
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我就變成一個獨立的個體
06:18
I become成為 a single solid固體 individual個人, separate分離 from the energy能源 flow
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我便從外界環境的能量分離出來
06:22
around me and separate分離 from you.
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我變得獨特
06:25
And this was the portion一部分 of my brain that I lost丟失
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而它是我在腦中風的那個早上
06:28
on the morning早上 of my stroke行程.
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喪失功能的那部份
06:30
On the morning早上 of the stroke行程, I woke醒來 up to a
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中風的那個早上,我醒來時
06:34
pounding重擊 pain疼痛 behind背後 my left eye. And it was the kind of pain疼痛 --
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覺得左眼後方傳來陣陣疼痛
06:39
caustic尖刻 pain疼痛 -- that you get when you
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有點像是
06:41
bite into ice cream奶油. And it just gripped抓住 me --
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一口咬在冰淇淋上的那種痛。它抓住我
06:45
and then it released發布 me. And then it just gripped抓住 me --
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然後又放開,然後再次抓住
06:49
and then it released發布 me. And it was very unusual異常
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再次放開,如此反覆
06:52
for me to ever experience經驗 any kind of pain疼痛,
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我不曾有過這樣的痛苦經歷
06:55
so I thought, "OK, I'll just start開始 my normal正常 routine常規."
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可我還是決定要開始一天的工作
06:57
So I got up and I jumped跳下 onto my cardio有氧運動 glider滑翔機,
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起床後照樣踏上了我的滑步機
07:00
which哪一個 is a full-body全身, full-exercise全運動 machine.
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開始運動
07:03
And I'm jamming擁塞 away on this thing, and I'm realizing實現
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我的手抓住了跑步機的橫桿,但我感覺那似乎
07:08
that my hands look like primitive原始 claws grasping
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只是一隻普通的動物爪子
07:12
onto the bar酒吧. And I thought, "That's very peculiar奇特."
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抓在把手上,我那時想:「咦,好怪」
07:15
And I looked看著 down at my body身體 and I thought, "Whoa,
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我往下了看我的身體之後發現:「哇!
07:18
I'm a weird-looking看起來怪怪的 thing." And it was as though雖然
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我看起來好詭異。」在那一刻
07:21
my consciousness意識 had shifted away from my normal正常
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我的意識彷彿和現實經驗
07:24
perception知覺 of reality現實, where I'm the person on the
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分離了,彷彿我正在
07:27
machine having the experience經驗, to some esoteric深奧 space空間
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另外一個空間觀察著
07:30
where I'm witnessing見證 myself having this experience經驗.
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我自己經歷著這一切
07:35
And it was all very peculiar奇特, and my headache頭痛 was
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正當我對一切感到困惑的時候,我的頭痛
07:37
just getting得到 worse更差. So I get off the machine,
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加劇了。於是我從滑步機下來
07:39
and I'm walking步行 across橫過 my living活的 room房間 floor地板, and I
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走到客廳,
07:42
realize實現 that everything inside of my body身體 has
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卻發現我體內的一切
07:44
slowed放緩 way down. And every一切 step is very rigid死板 and
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都慢了下來。每一個步伐都非常僵硬
07:49
very deliberate商榷. There's no fluidity流動性 to my pace步伐,
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而且刻意,失去了原本應有的流暢
07:52
and there's this constriction收縮 in my area of perceptions看法,
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我的感官變得
07:55
so I'm just focused重點 on internal內部 systems系統.
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只關注我體內的運作
07:59
And I'm standing常設 in my bathroom浴室 getting得到 ready準備 to
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當我準備沖澡的時候
08:01
step into the shower淋浴, and I could actually其實 hear the
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我真的聽到了
08:03
dialogue對話 inside of my body身體. I heard聽說 a little voice語音
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我身體在小聲對話:
08:06
saying, "OK. You muscles肌肉, you gotta總得 contract合同.
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「你們這群肌肉,開始收縮!
08:09
You muscles肌肉, you relax放鬆."
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你們那群,放鬆。」
08:10
And then I lost丟失 my balance平衡, and I'm propped撐著 up against反對 the wall.
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接著我失去了平衡,靠在牆壁上
08:13
And I look down at my arm and I realize實現
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我看著我的手臂,發現
08:17
that I can no longer define確定 the boundaries邊界 of my body身體.
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我找不到身體的界線
08:21
I can't define確定 where I begin開始 and where I end結束,
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不知道自己是從哪個點開始的、哪裡結束
08:25
because the atoms原子 and the molecules分子 of my arm
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因為組成我手臂的原子和分子
08:28
blended混合 with the atoms原子 and molecules分子 of the wall.
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和牆壁融合成一體了
08:32
And all I could detect檢測 was this energy能源 -- energy能源.
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我感覺到的只有能量
08:36
And I'm asking myself, "What is wrong錯誤 with me?
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我心想:「我到底怎麼了?
08:38
What is going on?" And in that moment時刻, my brain chatter喋喋不休 --
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發生什麼事了?」在那一刻
08:42
my left hemisphere半球 brain chatter喋喋不休 -- went totally完全 silent無聲.
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我左腦的聲音突然消失了
08:45
Just like someone有人 took a remote遠程 control控制
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彷彿有人拿了遙控器
08:48
and pushed the mute靜音 button按鍵. Total silence安靜.
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按下靜音 – 徹底的安靜
08:51
And at first I was shocked吃驚 to find myself
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一開始我被大腦安靜的程度嚇到了
08:54
inside of a silent無聲 mind心神. But then I was immediately立即
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不過我的注意力很快又集中在
08:58
captivated迷住 by the magnificence壯麗 of the energy能源 around me.
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周圍那片能量海
09:02
And because I could no longer identify鑑定
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因為我感受不到
09:06
the boundaries邊界 of my body身體, I felt enormous巨大 and expansive廣闊.
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我身體的界線,我覺得我好巨大,好像在膨脹
09:09
I felt at one with all the energy能源 that was,
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覺得我和周遭所有的能量融合成一體
09:13
and it was beautiful美麗 there.
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那個境界很美
09:16
Then all of a sudden突然 my left hemisphere半球 comes back
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突然間,左腦又「上線」了
09:18
online線上, and it says to me, "Hey! We got a problem問題!
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並告訴我:「喂!出問題了
09:21
We got a problem問題! We gotta總得 get some help."
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出問題了,快想辦法求救!」
09:23
And I'm going, "Ahh! I got a problem問題.
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但在我意識到情況不妙之後
09:25
I got a problem問題." So it's like, "OK. OK. I got a problem問題."
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我遇到問題了。就像是,「好的好的,我出了問題」
09:28
But then I immediately立即 drifted漂流 right back
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可是馬上我又回到了
09:31
out into the consciousness意識 -- and I affectionately深情
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純意識的世界--我稱之為
09:34
refer參考 to this space空間 as La La Land土地.
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「啦啦國」的地方
09:38
But it was beautiful美麗 there. Imagine想像 what it would
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那邊很美。試想:
09:40
be like to be totally完全 disconnected斷開的 from your brain
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能夠完全脫離腦內的聲音
09:43
chatter喋喋不休 that connects所連接 you to the external外部 world世界.
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切斷與現實生活的連結,那會是什麼樣子
09:46
So here I am in this space空間, and my job工作 -- and any
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我在那個空間裡面,一切工作上的
09:49
stress強調 related有關 to my job工作 -- it was gone走了.
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壓力都消失了
09:52
And I felt lighter打火機 in my body身體. And imagine想像
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我感覺自己變的好輕。你可以想像
09:55
all of the relationships關係 in the external外部 world世界 and any
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在那邊,所有人際關係上的
09:59
stressors壓力源 related有關 to any of those -- they were gone走了.
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壓力也都消失了
10:02
And I felt this sense of peacefulness歌舞昇平.
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我感受到的是一片安詳。
10:07
And imagine想像 what it would feel like to lose失去 37 years年份 of emotional情緒化 baggage行李!
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想想這37年以來,所有的情緒負擔都消失不見會是怎樣
10:12
(Laughter笑聲) Oh! I felt euphoria欣快症 --
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我感受到了極樂
10:18
euphoria欣快症. It was beautiful美麗.
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美麗的極樂
10:21
And then, again, my left hemisphere半球 comes online線上 and it says,
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但我的左腦又上線說:
10:23
"Hey! You've got to pay工資 attention注意.
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「喂!你專心一點!
10:25
We've我們已經 got to get help." And I'm thinking思維, "I got to get help.
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快點求救!」於是我思考著,「我要求救,
10:27
I gotta總得 focus焦點."
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要專心。」
10:29
So I get out of the shower淋浴 and I mechanically機械
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我從浴室出來,僵硬地
10:31
dress連衣裙 and I'm walking步行 around my apartment公寓,
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穿好衣服,在家裡走動
10:33
and I'm thinking思維, "I gotta總得 get to work. I gotta總得 get to work.
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並思考著:「我要去上班,我要上班
10:35
Can I drive駕駛? Can I drive駕駛?"
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我還能開車嗎?我還能嗎?」
10:38
And in that moment時刻 my right arm went totally完全
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就在那一瞬間,我的右臂
10:40
paralyzed by my side. Then I realized實現,
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徹底麻痺。我此時才驚覺
10:43
"Oh my gosh天哪! I'm having a stroke行程! I'm having a stroke行程!"
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「我的天呀!我中風了。我中風了。」
10:46
And the next下一個 thing my brain says to me is, "Wow!
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頓時,我的第一個反應是:
10:49
This is so cool." (Laughter笑聲) "This is so cool!
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「這太帥了!這太帥了!
10:55
How many許多 brain scientists科學家們 have the opportunity機會
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有幾個神經學家
10:57
to study研究 their own擁有 brain from the inside out?"
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能夠在自己的身上研究腦部啊?」
11:00
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
11:02
And then it crosses十字架 my mind心神, "But I'm a very busy woman女人!"
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不過我又想到:「我這麼忙
11:06
(Laughter笑聲) "I don't have time for a stroke行程!"
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沒有時間中風啊!
11:09
So I'm like, "OK, I can't stop the stroke行程 from happening事件,
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但我沒有辦法阻止他發生,那好吧
11:11
so I'll do this for a week or two, and
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就暫時休息一兩個禮拜
11:14
then I'll get back to my routine常規. OK.
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再回復我正常的生活
11:16
So I gotta總得 call help. I gotta總得 call work."
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所以我想打電話到公司求助
11:18
I couldn't不能 remember記得 the number at work,
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我不記得公司的電話號碼
11:20
so I remembered記得, in my office辦公室 I had a business商業 card
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但我記得在家裡的辦公室有一張名片
11:22
with my number on it. So I go into my business商業 room房間,
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上面有公司的電話,所以我到辦公室
11:25
I pull out a three-inch三英寸 stack of business商業 cards.
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拿出了一疊三吋厚的名片
11:28
And I'm looking at the card on top最佳 and even though雖然
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看著那疊名片
11:31
I could see clearly明確地 in my mind's心靈的 eye what my business商業 card looked看著 like,
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雖然我很清楚知道,我要找的那張名片長什麼樣
11:35
I couldn't不能 tell if this
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卻分不清
11:37
was my card or not, because all I could see were pixels像素.
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是我的,還是別人的,因為我只看到一團像素
11:40
And the pixels像素 of the words blended混合
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卡片上的文字
11:42
with the pixels像素 of the background背景 and the pixels像素 of the symbols符號,
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圖案、背景三者在我眼裡成了模糊的一塊像素團
11:45
and I just couldn't不能 tell.
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我根本無法判斷
11:47
And then I would wait for what I call a wave of clarity明晰.
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我只能等到我的神經系統能把我帶回現實
11:50
And in that moment時刻, I would be able能夠 to
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只有在那片刻的現實裡,我才能
11:53
reattach重新安裝 to normal正常 reality現實 and I could tell
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重新構建起與外部世界的聯系
11:56
that's not the card ... that's not the card ... that's not the card.
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並知道要找的不是這張,不是這張,不是那張
11:58
It took me 45 minutes分鐘 to get one inch英寸 down
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我花了 45分鐘
12:02
inside of that stack of cards.
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才找了1/3的名片
12:05
In the meantime與此同時, for 45 minutes分鐘, the hemorrhage出血 is
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在這45分鐘的時間
12:07
getting得到 bigger in my left hemisphere半球.
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我左腦的出血越來越多
12:09
I do not understand理解 numbers數字, I do not understand理解 the telephone電話,
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我開始無法理解數字,我甚至無法理解電話這東西
12:12
but it's the only plan計劃 I have.
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但我別無他法
12:14
So I take the phone電話 pad and I put it right here. I take the business商業 card,
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我抓著話筒,放在這裡,拿著名片
12:17
I put it right here, and
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我把它放在這裡
12:19
I'm matching匹配 the shape形狀 of the squiggles潦草的字跡 on the card
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開始比對公司名片上的扭曲線條
12:23
to the shape形狀 of the squiggles潦草的字跡 on the phone電話 pad.
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和電話按鍵的扭曲線條,撥號
12:26
But then I would drift漂移 back out into La La Land土地,
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但當我的意識又漂到「啦啦國」
12:29
and not remember記得 when I came來了 back if I'd already已經
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我不記得是否已經
12:32
dialed撥打 those numbers數字.
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按過這些數字
12:33
So I had to wield my paralyzed arm like a stump樹墩
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於是我抓起那癱瘓的右手
12:37
and cover the numbers數字 as I went along沿 and pushed
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蓋住那些已按下的數字
12:40
them, so that as I would come back to normal正常
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這樣在那簡短的片刻清醒到來指示
12:43
reality現實, I'd be able能夠 to tell, "Yes, I've already已經 dialed撥打 that number."
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我才可能知道撥出了哪些數字,最終電話打通了
12:48
Eventually終於, the whole整個 number gets得到 dialed撥打
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最終電話數字都按了
12:50
and I'm listening to the phone電話, and
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聽著電話那頭
12:52
my colleague同事 picks精選 up the phone電話 and he says to me,
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我的同事接了電話,但我只聽到
12:56
"Woo求愛 woo求愛 woo求愛 woo求愛." (Laughter笑聲) And I think to myself,
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「嗚嗚嗚嗚」的扭曲聲音。我那時心想:
13:01
"Oh my gosh天哪, he sounds聲音 like a Golden金色 Retriever獵犬!"
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「我的天,他聽起來像是一隻黃金獵犬!」
13:08
And so I say to him -- clear明確 in my mind心神, I say to him:
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於是我說:
13:10
"This is Jill吉爾! I need help!"
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「我是 Jill !我需要幫助!」
13:13
And what comes out of my voice語音 is, "Woo求愛 woo求愛 woo求愛 woo求愛 woo求愛."
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不過從我口中出來的卻是:「嗚嗚嗚嗚嗚」
13:16
I'm thinking思維, "Oh my gosh天哪, I sound聲音 like a Golden金色 Retriever獵犬."
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我心想:「我的天,連我都變成黃金獵犬了」
13:18
So I couldn't不能 know -- I didn't know that
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這時我才發現,我根本無法說話
13:21
I couldn't不能 speak說話 or understand理解 language語言 until直到 I tried試著.
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也聽不懂別人說的話
13:24
So he recognizes識別 that I need help and he gets得到 me help.
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幸好我同事發現事情不對勁,叫了救護車
13:27
And a little while later後來, I am riding騎術 in an
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後來我在救護車上
13:31
ambulance救護車 from one hospital醫院 across橫過 Boston波士頓 to [Massachusetts馬薩諸塞] General一般 Hospital醫院.
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被送往麻州的Mass General 醫院
13:35
And I curl捲曲 up into a little fetal ball.
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我的身體蜷曲成胎兒的姿勢
13:37
And just like a balloon氣球 with the last bit of air空氣,
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我像洩了氣的氣球一樣
13:44
just, just right out of the balloon氣球,
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整個消了氣
13:47
I just felt my energy能源 lift電梯 and just -- I felt my spirit精神 surrender投降.
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覺得能量從我體內流出,覺得我的靈魂已經投降了
13:51
And in that moment時刻, I knew知道 that I
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在那一刻,我知道我
13:57
was no longer the choreographer編舞 of my life.
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已無法主導我的生命
14:00
And either the doctors醫生 rescue拯救 my body身體 and give me a
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除非醫生把我救活,給我
14:03
second第二 chance機會 at life, or this was perhaps也許
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第二次人生,不然這會是
14:06
my moment時刻 of transition過渡.
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我離開人間的時候
14:13
When I woke醒來 later後來 that afternoon下午, I was shocked吃驚
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我那天下午醒來,很驚訝地
14:17
to discover發現 that I was still alive. When I felt my spirit精神 surrender投降,
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發現我還活著。當我感覺到我的靈魂投降的時候
14:22
I said goodbye再見 to my life.
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我向自己說了再見
14:25
And my mind心神 was now suspended暫停 between之間 two very
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但現在我身處於兩個
14:29
opposite對面 planes飛機 of reality現實. Stimulation促進 coming未來 in
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截然不同的世界。外界傳來的刺激
14:33
through通過 my sensory感覺的 systems系統 felt like pure pain疼痛.
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經過我的感官系統成為了劇痛
14:37
Light burned my brain like wildfire磷火, and sounds聲音
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光線如野火般燒著我的腦部,外界的聲音
14:41
were so loud and chaotic混亂的 that I could not pick a
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是那麼的嘈雜
14:45
voice語音 out from the background背景 noise噪聲,
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無法聽清楚任何聲音
14:49
and I just wanted to escape逃逸. Because I could not identify鑑定 the
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讓我只想逃離。我不能明確
14:53
position位置 of my body身體 in space空間, I felt enormous巨大 and expansive廣闊,
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自己身體的範圍,我感到身體變大了、舒展開來了
14:58
like a genie精靈 just liberated解放 from her bottle瓶子.
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就像一個從瓶子裡跑出來的精靈
15:03
And my spirit精神 soared飆升 free自由, like a great whale
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而我的靈魂則如一條鯨魚
15:08
gliding滑翔 through通過 the sea of silent無聲 euphoria欣快症.
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在極樂的大海中遨遊,一切都很和諧
15:14
Nirvana. I found發現 Nirvana. And I remember記得 thinking思維,
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涅磐,那是涅磐的感覺,我那時還想著
15:22
there's no way I would ever be able能夠 to squeeze
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我永遠也不可能像故事裡的精靈那樣
15:25
the enormousnessenormousness of myself back inside this tiny little body身體.
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把這個巨大的自己,壓縮回小小的身體裡
15:32
But then I realized實現, "But I'm still alive! I'm still alive,
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不過我發現:我還活著!我活著!
15:36
and I have found發現 Nirvana. And if I have
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而且我達到了涅盤。如果我
15:40
found發現 Nirvana and I'm still alive, then everyone大家
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活著而且達到了涅盤,那所有
15:43
who is alive can find Nirvana." And I pictured合照 a world世界
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活著的人都可以達到涅盤。我想像著一個世界
15:50
filled填充 with beautiful美麗, peaceful平靜的, compassionate富於同情心的,
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充滿著美麗、安詳、慈悲、
15:54
loving愛心 people who knew知道 that they could come to
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關愛的人們,他們知道他們能夠
15:57
this space空間 at any time. And that they could
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隨時到這個空間來
16:01
purposely故意 choose選擇 to step to the right of their
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靠著意識跳出左腦
16:05
left hemispheres半球 and find this peace和平. And then
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進到右腦,來尋找這份安祥
16:10
I realized實現 what a tremendous巨大 gift禮品 this experience經驗
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然後我發現這個經驗是多麼的寶貴
16:14
could be, what a stroke行程 of insight眼光 this could be
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因為這次中風讓我了解
16:19
to how we live生活 our lives生活. And it motivated動機 me to recover恢復.
277
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該如何活出我的生命,這念頭不斷地激勵著我復原
16:28
Two and a half weeks after the hemorrhage出血, the
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事發的兩個半星期之後
16:31
surgeons外科醫生 went in and they removed去除 a blood血液 clot凝塊
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醫生把我的血塊從腦部清除
16:33
the size尺寸 of a golf高爾夫球 ball that was pushing推動 on my language語言 centers中心.
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它有高爾夫球那麼大,壓迫到我的語言中心
16:36
Here I am with my mama媽媽,
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這是我跟我的母親
16:38
who is a true真正 angel天使 in my life. It took me eight years年份 to completely全然 recover恢復.
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她真的是我的守護天使,我花了八年的時間才完全康復
16:47
So who are we? We are the life-force生命力 power功率 of the universe宇宙,
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所以我們究竟是誰?我們是宇宙中的生命能源
16:52
with manual手冊 dexterity靈巧 and two cognitive認知 minds頭腦.
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有著精巧的雙手和兩個用來認知的腦部
16:57
And we have the power功率 to choose選擇, moment時刻 by moment時刻,
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每一秒,我們都有能力去選擇
17:01
who and how we want to be in the world世界.
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我們要成為怎樣的人、要在這世上過怎樣的日子
17:06
Right here, right now, I can step into the
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此時此地,我可以進到
17:08
consciousness意識 of my right hemisphere半球, where we are.
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右腦的意識裡,在這裡
17:12
I am the life-force生命力 power功率 of the universe宇宙.
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成為宇宙中的生命能量
17:16
I am the life-force生命力 power功率 of the 50 trillion beautiful美麗
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成為我身上50兆個精妙細胞的能源
17:19
molecular分子 geniuses天才 that make up my form形成, at one with all that is.
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與一切合而唯一
17:25
Or, I can choose選擇 to step into the consciousness意識 of
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我也可以進入
17:28
my left hemisphere半球, where I become成為 a single individual個人,
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左腦的意識,成為獨立的個體
17:32
a solid固體. Separate分離 from the flow,
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與所有的能量切割
17:36
separate分離 from you. I am Dr博士. Jill吉爾 BolteBolte Taylor泰勒:
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跟你切割,我是 Jill Bolte Taylor 博士
17:39
intellectual知識分子, neuroanatomist神經解剖學家. These are the "we" inside of me.
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我是知識分子、神經解剖學家。這些是我體內的“我們”
17:50
Which哪一個 would you choose選擇? Which哪一個 do you choose選擇? And when?
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你想怎麼選?你會怎麼選?什麼時候選?
17:59
I believe that the more time we spend
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我相信,如果我們花愈多時間
18:03
choosing選擇 to run the deep inner-peace內心的平靜 circuitry電路
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啟動安詳平和的右腦
18:06
of our right hemispheres半球, the more peace和平 we will
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那我們就可以把更多的安詳平和
18:09
project項目 into the world世界, and the more peaceful平靜的 our planet行星 will be.
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投射到這個世界上,地球就會有更多平和
18:13
And I thought that was an idea理念 worth價值 spreading傳播.
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而我認為,這是一個值得分享的念頭。
Translated by Dxm Online大小媒體
Reviewed by Adrienne Lin

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Jill Bolte Taylor - Neuroanatomist
Brain researcher Jill Bolte Taylor studied her own stroke as it happened -- and has become a powerful voice for brain recovery.

Why you should listen

One morning, a blood vessel in Jill Bolte Taylor's brain exploded. As a brain scientist, she realized she had a ringside seat to her own stroke. She watched as her brain functions shut down one by one: motion, speech, memory, self-awareness ...

Amazed to find herself alive, Taylor spent eight years recovering her ability to think, walk and talk. She has become a spokesperson for stroke recovery and for the possibility of coming back from brain injury stronger than before. In her case, although the stroke damaged the left side of her brain, her recovery unleashed a torrent of creative energy from her right. From her home base in Indiana, she now travels the country on behalf of the Harvard Brain Bank as the "Singin' Scientist."

More profile about the speaker
Jill Bolte Taylor | Speaker | TED.com