TED2016
Tim Urban: Inside the mind of a master procrastinator
提姆．厄本: 拖延大師的腦子在想什麼
Filmed:
Readability: 3.5
36,567,611 views
提姆．厄本知道拖拖拉拉不合理，但他一直沒有辦法甩掉這個一定要拖到最後一刻才開始趕工的習慣。在這個富有洞察力的爆笑演講裡，厄本帶我們走上一段 YouTube 癮、維基百科兔子洞，或是猛盯著窗外發呆的旅程──並鼓勵我們在時間不夠之前，更加認真思考真的在拖延的事情是什麼。
Tim Urban - Blogger
With Wait But Why, Tim Urban demonstrates that complex and long-form writing can stand out in an online wilderness choked with listicles and clickbait. Full bio
With Wait But Why, Tim Urban demonstrates that complex and long-form writing can stand out in an online wilderness choked with listicles and clickbait. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
So in college,
0
645
1370
大學的時候，
00:15
I was a government major,
1
3349
1564
我主修政治學，
00:16
which means I had to write
a lot of papers.
a lot of papers.
2
4937
2462
這表示我必須要寫很多論文。
00:19
Now, when a normal student writes a paper,
3
7423
2048
一般學生在寫論文時，
00:21
they might spread the work out
a little like this.
a little like this.
4
9495
2373
大概會做像這樣的進度表。
00:23
So, you know --
5
11892
1151
你們也知道嘛...
00:25
(Laughter)
6
13067
1657
（笑聲）
00:26
you get started maybe a little slowly,
7
14748
1827
一開始慢慢來，
00:28
but you get enough done in the first week
8
16599
1968
但第一週能完成夠多進度，
00:30
that, with some heavier days later on,
9
18591
1831
後來工作量重了一點，
00:32
everything gets done, things stay civil.
10
20446
2157
但事情總會順利完成。
00:34
(Laughter)
11
22627
1202
（笑聲）
00:35
And I would want to do that like that.
12
23853
2271
我也想要這樣子做。
00:38
That would be the plan.
13
26148
1194
計畫本來就應該像這樣。
00:39
I would have it all ready to go,
14
27366
2490
我會把一切通通計畫好，
00:41
but then, actually, the paper
would come along,
would come along,
15
29880
2494
結果呢，等到真的該寫的時候，
00:44
and then I would kind of do this.
16
32398
1941
我的計畫會變成這樣。
00:46
(Laughter)
17
34363
2370
（笑聲）
00:48
And that would happen every single paper.
18
36757
2143
每一次寫論文都是這樣。
00:51
But then came my 90-page senior thesis,
19
39638
3882
但終於輪到了我 90 頁的畢業論文，
00:55
a paper you're supposed
to spend a year on.
to spend a year on.
20
43544
2287
這論文照理應該花一年的時間寫。
00:57
And I knew for a paper like that,
my normal work flow was not an option.
my normal work flow was not an option.
21
45855
3619
我知道面對這種論文，
不能用平常的工作方式來做。
不能用平常的工作方式來做。
01:01
It was way too big a project.
22
49498
1401
因為這實在是太大的工程了。
01:02
So I planned things out,
23
50923
1153
所以我好好地計畫了一下，
01:04
and I decided I kind of had
to go something like this.
to go something like this.
24
52100
3205
決定要這樣安排。
01:07
This is how the year would go.
25
55781
1452
這一年大概要長這樣。
01:09
So I'd start off light,
26
57257
1967
所以剛開始做一點就好，
01:11
and I'd bump it up in the middle months,
27
59248
2318
中間幾個月增加一點進度，
01:13
and then at the end,
I would kick it up into high gear
I would kick it up into high gear
28
61590
2626
最後，我會火力全開，
01:16
just like a little staircase.
29
64240
1439
就跟樓梯一樣嘛。
01:17
How hard could it be
to walk up the stairs?
to walk up the stairs?
30
65703
2062
走樓梯是有多難勒？
01:20
No big deal, right?
31
68233
1319
輕而易舉，對吧？
01:23
But then, the funniest thing happened.
32
71090
1810
可是，好笑的事情發生了。
01:24
Those first few months?
33
72924
1311
前面幾個月，
01:26
They came and went,
34
74791
1167
突然就飛走了，
01:27
and I couldn't quite do stuff.
35
75982
1585
我根本做不了什麼。
01:29
So we had an awesome new revised plan.
36
77591
1849
所以我就修改成超棒的新進度表。
01:31
(Laughter)
37
79464
1167
（笑聲）
01:32
And then --
38
80655
1159
然後...
01:33
(Laughter)
39
81838
1882
（笑聲）
01:35
But then those middle months
actually went by,
actually went by,
40
83744
2784
然後中間的月份也飛走了，
01:38
and I didn't really write words,
41
86552
2182
我真的也沒擠出幾個字，
01:40
and so we were here.
42
88758
1835
所以就變成這樣。
01:43
And then two months turned into one month,
43
91500
2576
然後兩個月變成一個月，
01:46
which turned into two weeks.
44
94100
1625
之後剩兩週。
01:47
And one day I woke up
45
95749
1309
有天我醒來，
01:49
with three days until the deadline,
46
97724
2619
發現只剩三天就要交論文了，
01:53
still not having written a word,
47
101502
1931
我還是連一個字都沒生出來，
01:55
and so I did the only thing I could:
48
103457
2059
所以我能做的只有一件事：
01:57
I wrote 90 pages over 72 hours,
49
105540
2607
我用 72 小時生出 90 頁的論文，
02:00
pulling not one but two all-nighters --
50
108171
2276
不只熬夜了一天，是連續兩天──
02:02
humans are not supposed to pull
two all-nighters --
two all-nighters --
51
110471
2569
人真的不能連熬兩天夜──
02:06
sprinted across campus,
52
114373
1993
完成後我衝到校園，
02:08
dove in slow motion,
53
116390
1486
慢動作往前撲，
02:09
and got it in just at the deadline.
54
117900
2056
正好在最後一刻趕上。
02:11
I thought that was the end of everything.
55
119980
2024
我以為這樣就結束了。
02:14
But a week later I get a call,
56
122028
1559
但一週後，我接到電話，
02:15
and it's the school.
57
123611
1486
是學校打來的。
02:17
And they say, "Is this Tim Urban?"
58
125757
1639
他們說：「請問你是提姆．厄本嗎？」
02:19
And I say, "Yeah."
59
127420
1468
我說：「對。」
02:20
And they say, "We need
to talk about your thesis."
to talk about your thesis."
60
128912
2340
他們說：「我們得談談你的論文。」
02:23
And I say, "OK."
61
131276
1255
我說：「好。」
02:25
And they say,
62
133468
1222
他們說：
02:27
"It's the best one we've ever seen."
63
135230
1896
「我們從沒見過這麼棒的論文。」
02:29
(Laughter)
64
137150
1705
（笑聲）
02:32
(Applause)
65
140014
2690
（掌聲）
02:36
That did not happen.
66
144945
1302
並沒有發生這種事。
02:38
(Laughter)
67
146271
2138
（笑聲）
02:40
It was a very, very bad thesis.
68
148433
2623
我寫得超級無敵爛。
02:43
(Laughter)
69
151080
2274
（笑聲）
02:45
I just wanted to enjoy that one moment
when all of you thought,
when all of you thought,
70
153378
4100
我只是想要享受一下你們心想：
02:49
"This guy is amazing!"
71
157502
1905
「這傢伙太厲害了吧！」那瞬間。
02:51
(Laughter)
72
159431
1348
（笑聲）
02:52
No, no, it was very, very bad.
73
160803
1667
並沒有發生這種事，我寫得很糟。
02:55
Anyway, today I'm a writer-blogger guy.
74
163343
3408
總之，我現在是個部落客，
02:58
I write the blog Wait But Why.
75
166775
1743
部落格名稱是「等一下但是為什麼」。
03:00
And a couple of years ago,
I decided to write about procrastination.
I decided to write about procrastination.
76
168542
3736
幾年前，我決定開始寫拖拖拉拉的事。
03:04
My behavior has always perplexed
the non-procrastinators around me,
the non-procrastinators around me,
77
172302
3284
我身邊不會拖拖拉拉的朋友
總對我的行為感到非常不解，
總對我的行為感到非常不解，
03:07
and I wanted to explain
to the non-procrastinators of the world
to the non-procrastinators of the world
78
175610
3688
所以我想解釋給全世界
所有不會拖拖拉拉的人
所有不會拖拖拉拉的人
03:11
what goes on in the heads
of procrastinators,
of procrastinators,
79
179322
2107
看我們愛拖的人腦袋裡在想什麼，
03:13
and why we are the way we are.
80
181453
1440
以及我們為何如此。
03:14
Now, I had a hypothesis
81
182917
1156
現在呢，我有個假設，
03:16
that the brains of procrastinators
were actually different
were actually different
82
184097
2855
那就是拖延者的大腦
03:18
than the brains of other people.
83
186976
1957
其實跟其它人不一樣。
03:21
And to test this, I found an MRI lab
84
189698
2191
為了證實這點，
我找到一個核磁共振實驗室，
我找到一個核磁共振實驗室，
03:23
that actually let me scan both my brain
85
191913
2432
同意讓我掃描自己的大腦，
03:26
and the brain of a proven
non-procrastinator,
non-procrastinator,
86
194369
2655
以及一位不會拖延者的大腦，
03:29
so I could compare them.
87
197048
1435
然後比較兩者的差異。
03:30
I actually brought them here
to show you today.
to show you today.
88
198507
2201
我今天特地把掃描結果帶來給你們看。
03:32
I want you to take a look carefully
to see if you can notice a difference.
to see if you can notice a difference.
89
200732
3537
請仔細看看有沒有不一樣。
如果你們不是專家的話，
可能沒有那麼容易看出來，
可能沒有那麼容易看出來，
03:36
I know that if you're not
a trained brain expert,
a trained brain expert,
90
204293
2314
03:38
it's not that obvious,
but just take a look, OK?
but just take a look, OK?
91
206631
2263
不過就稍微看一下好嗎？
03:40
So here's the brain
of a non-procrastinator.
of a non-procrastinator.
92
208918
2128
這是不會拖延者的大腦。
03:43
(Laughter)
93
211835
2274
（笑聲）
03:46
Now ...
94
214133
1151
然後呢...
03:48
here's my brain.
95
216325
1314
這是我的大腦。
03:50
(Laughter)
96
218280
2726
（笑聲）
03:55
There is a difference.
97
223713
1564
果然不一樣吧。
03:57
Both brains have a Rational
Decision-Maker in them,
Decision-Maker in them,
98
225904
2388
兩個大腦裡都有理性決策者，
04:00
but the procrastinator's brain
99
228316
1652
但拖延者的大腦
04:01
also has an Instant Gratification Monkey.
100
229992
2986
同時還有一隻及時行樂猴。
04:05
Now, what does this mean
for the procrastinator?
for the procrastinator?
101
233002
2302
這對拖延者來說是什麼意思？
04:07
Well, it means everything's fine
until this happens.
until this happens.
102
235328
2441
在這種狀況發生前，一切都沒事。
04:09
[This is a perfect time
to get some work done.] [Nope!]
to get some work done.] [Nope!]
103
237793
2622
[現在是該做事的最好時機喔。]
[才不是！]
[才不是！]
04:12
So the Rational Decision-Maker
will make the rational decision
will make the rational decision
104
240439
2933
所以理性決策者會做出理性決定
04:15
to do something productive,
105
243396
1896
該做點事情了，
04:17
but the Monkey doesn't like that plan,
106
245316
1950
但猴子並不喜歡這決定，
04:19
so he actually takes the wheel,
107
247290
1508
所以就搶過方向盤，
04:20
and he says, "Actually, let's read
the entire Wikipedia page
the entire Wikipedia page
108
248822
2881
然後說：「不然我們看完維基百科上
04:23
of the Nancy Kerrigan/
Tonya Harding scandal,
Tonya Harding scandal,
109
251727
2136
花式滑冰選手南西克里根
和坦雅哈丁的整篇醜聞報導吧，
和坦雅哈丁的整篇醜聞報導吧，
04:25
because I just remembered
that that happened.
that that happened.
110
253887
2131
因為我剛剛想到有這件事。」
04:28
(Laughter)
111
256042
1016
（笑聲）
04:29
Then --
112
257082
1158
然後...
04:30
(Laughter)
113
258264
1263
（笑聲）
04:31
Then we're going to go over to the fridge,
114
259551
2038
然後我們再去看一下冰箱，
04:33
to see if there's anything new
in there since 10 minutes ago.
in there since 10 minutes ago.
115
261613
2866
看看跟十分鐘前有什麼不一樣。
04:36
After that, we're going to go
on a YouTube spiral
on a YouTube spiral
116
264503
2638
再來去看看 YouTube 上的一連串影片，
04:39
that starts with videos
of Richard Feynman talking about magnets
of Richard Feynman talking about magnets
117
267165
3250
就從理察．費曼談論磁鐵開始，
04:42
and ends much, much later
with us watching interviews
with us watching interviews
118
270439
2716
一路看看看看看，
最後看到小賈斯丁他媽的訪問影片。
04:45
with Justin Bieber's mom.
119
273179
1880
04:47
(Laughter)
120
275083
2188
（笑聲）
04:49
"All of that's going to take a while,
121
277295
1763
「這一切都需要花點時間，
04:51
so we're not going to really have room
on the schedule for any work today.
on the schedule for any work today.
122
279082
3502
所以今天沒有辦法做正事了。
拍謝啦！」
04:54
Sorry!"
123
282608
1163
04:55
(Sigh)
124
283795
1165
（嘆）
04:58
Now, what is going on here?
125
286325
3369
所以到底發生什麼事？
05:03
The Instant Gratification Monkey
does not seem like a guy
does not seem like a guy
126
291481
2691
你應該不會希望及時行樂猴
05:06
you want behind the wheel.
127
294196
1254
控制方向盤。
05:07
He lives entirely in the present moment.
128
295474
1945
他只活在當下。
05:09
He has no memory of the past,
no knowledge of the future,
no knowledge of the future,
129
297443
2828
他沒有過去的記憶，
不曉得未來會怎樣，
不曉得未來會怎樣，
05:12
and he only cares about two things:
130
300295
1697
他只在乎兩件事：
05:14
easy and fun.
131
302016
1683
輕鬆、有趣。
05:16
Now, in the animal world, that works fine.
132
304338
3092
在動物的世界裡，這樣做完全行得通。
05:19
If you're a dog
133
307454
1208
如果你是隻狗，
05:20
and you spend your whole life doing
nothing other than easy and fun things,
nothing other than easy and fun things,
134
308686
3571
一輩子只做輕鬆有趣的事，不做別的，
那你就成功了啊！
05:24
you're a huge success!
135
312281
1165
05:25
(Laughter)
136
313470
1911
（笑聲）
05:27
And to the Monkey,
137
315405
1286
對猴子來說，
05:29
humans are just another animal species.
138
317969
2094
人類只是另一種動物物種。
05:32
You have to keep well-slept, well-fed
and propagating into the next generation,
and propagating into the next generation,
139
320087
4506
只要睡飽、吃好，繁殖下一代就行了，
05:36
which in tribal times
might have worked OK.
might have worked OK.
140
324617
2286
這在以前部落時代還可以。
05:38
But, if you haven't noticed,
now we're not in tribal times.
now we're not in tribal times.
141
326927
2850
不過，如果你沒注意到的話，
我們時代已經不一樣了。
我們時代已經不一樣了。
05:41
We're in an advanced civilization,
and the Monkey does not know what that is.
and the Monkey does not know what that is.
142
329801
4133
我們處在先進文明的世界，
但猴子不知道這是什麼情況，
但猴子不知道這是什麼情況，
05:45
Which is why we have
another guy in our brain,
another guy in our brain,
143
333958
2281
所以我們腦中才有另一個
05:48
the Rational Decision-Maker,
144
336263
2365
理性決策者存在，
05:50
who gives us the ability to do things
no other animal can do.
no other animal can do.
145
338652
3027
他讓我們有能力
做其它動物做不到的事。
做其它動物做不到的事。
05:53
We can visualize the future.
146
341703
1921
我們可以想像未來；
05:55
We can see the big picture.
147
343648
1752
可以綜觀大局；
05:57
We can make long-term plans.
148
345424
1350
可以做長遠規劃。
05:58
And he wants to take
all of that into account.
all of that into account.
149
346798
2483
他想要把這些都納入考慮，
06:02
And he wants to just have us do
150
350138
1691
所以他只要我們做
06:03
whatever makes sense
to be doing right now.
to be doing right now.
151
351853
2948
當下合理的事情就好。
06:06
Now, sometimes it makes sense
152
354825
1389
有時候，做輕鬆有趣的事情很合理，
06:08
to be doing things that are easy and fun,
153
356238
2029
06:10
like when you're having dinner
or going to bed
or going to bed
154
358291
2151
像是吃晚餐或是上床睡覺，
06:12
or enjoying well-earned leisure time.
155
360466
1828
或是享受應得的休閒時光。
06:14
That's why there's an overlap.
156
362318
1450
這就是為什麼有中間重疊的部分。
06:15
Sometimes they agree.
157
363792
1744
有時候他們意見會達成一致。
06:17
But other times, it makes much more sense
158
365560
2822
但其它時候，做比較難的事情
06:20
to be doing things that are harder
and less pleasant,
and less pleasant,
159
368406
3602
或是比較不好玩的事合理許多，
06:24
for the sake of the big picture.
160
372032
1540
這是為了大局著想。
06:25
And that's when we have a conflict.
161
373596
1889
這就是發生衝突的時候了。
06:28
And for the procrastinator,
162
376017
1315
對拖延者來說，
06:29
that conflict tends to end
a certain way every time,
a certain way every time,
163
377356
2509
衝突幾乎每次都會以同樣的方式作結，
06:31
leaving him spending a lot of time
in this orange zone,
in this orange zone,
164
379889
3720
讓他有很多時間待在橘色這區，
06:35
an easy and fun place that's entirely
out of the Makes Sense circle.
out of the Makes Sense circle.
165
383633
4327
既輕鬆又好玩的地方，
可是完全在合理區之外，
可是完全在合理區之外，
06:39
I call it the Dark Playground.
166
387984
2279
我稱之為暗黑遊樂場。
06:42
(Laughter)
167
390287
1624
（笑聲）
06:43
Now, the Dark Playground is a place
168
391935
3128
暗黑遊樂場這個地方
06:47
that all of you procrastinators
out there know very well.
out there know very well.
169
395087
3192
是所有拖延者都心有戚戚焉的。
06:50
It's where leisure activities happen
170
398892
1804
這是不該悠哉時，
06:52
at times when leisure activities
are not supposed to be happening.
are not supposed to be happening.
171
400720
3310
卻做悠哉的事情時，會出現的地方。
06:56
The fun you have in the Dark Playground
172
404418
1890
暗黑遊樂場的玩樂並非真的玩樂，
06:58
isn't actually fun,
because it's completely unearned,
because it's completely unearned,
173
406332
2483
因為完全不是努力賺來的，
而且空氣中瀰漫著內疚、
擔心、焦慮、自我厭惡──
擔心、焦慮、自我厭惡──
07:00
and the air is filled with guilt,
dread, anxiety, self-hatred --
dread, anxiety, self-hatred --
174
408839
3215
所有這些拖延的良好感受。
07:04
all of those good procrastinator feelings.
175
412078
2118
07:06
And the question is, in this situation,
with the Monkey behind the wheel,
with the Monkey behind the wheel,
176
414703
3476
問題是，在這種情況下，
由猴子掌舵時，
由猴子掌舵時，
07:10
how does the procrastinator ever get
himself over here to this blue zone,
himself over here to this blue zone,
177
418203
3593
拖延者要怎麼過到藍色這個
07:13
a less pleasant place, but where
really important things happen?
really important things happen?
178
421820
3281
比較不好玩，但重要事情發生的地方？
07:17
Well, turns out the procrastinator
has a guardian angel,
has a guardian angel,
179
425125
5037
嗯，原來拖延者有個守護天使，
07:22
someone who's always looking
down on him and watching over him
down on him and watching over him
180
430186
3208
在最黑暗的時候，
07:25
in his darkest moments --
181
433418
1430
永遠照看他、守護他的人──
07:26
someone called the Panic Monster.
182
434872
2095
這個人就叫做恐慌怪獸。
07:28
(Laughter)
183
436991
3078
（笑聲）
07:34
Now, the Panic Monster
is dormant most of the time,
is dormant most of the time,
184
442386
4860
恐慌怪獸大多時候都在休眠，
07:39
but he suddenly wakes up
anytime a deadline gets too close
anytime a deadline gets too close
185
447270
3902
但等到交期接近時會突然醒來，
07:43
or there's danger of public embarrassment,
186
451196
2045
或是快要遇到公開出糗、
07:45
a career disaster or some other
scary consequence.
scary consequence.
187
453265
2511
事業危機或其它恐怖結果時驚醒。
07:47
And importantly, he's the only thing
the Monkey is terrified of.
the Monkey is terrified of.
188
455800
4172
更重要的是，他是猴子
唯一會懼怕的東西。
唯一會懼怕的東西。
07:51
Now, he became very relevant
in my life pretty recently,
in my life pretty recently,
189
459996
4578
他最近跟我的生活息息相關，
07:56
because the people of TED
reached out to me about six months ago
reached out to me about six months ago
190
464598
3246
因為 TED 的人大概半年前聯絡我，
07:59
and invited me to do a TED Talk.
191
467868
2021
邀請我來 TED 演講。
08:01
(Laughter)
192
469913
2428
（笑聲）
08:07
Now, of course, I said yes.
193
475058
1907
當然，我說好。
08:08
It's always been a dream of mine
to have done a TED Talk in the past.
to have done a TED Talk in the past.
194
476989
3805
「以前」做 TED 演講
一直都是我的夢想。
一直都是我的夢想。
08:12
(Laughter)
195
480818
3972
（笑聲）
08:16
(Applause)
196
484814
3697
（掌聲）
08:24
But in the middle of all this excitement,
197
492203
1969
興奮之餘，
理性決策者似乎心事重重。
08:26
the Rational Decision-Maker seemed
to have something else on his mind.
to have something else on his mind.
198
494196
3301
他說：「我們知道剛剛答應了什麼嗎？
08:29
He was saying, "Are we clear
on what we just accepted?
on what we just accepted?
199
497521
2548
08:32
Do we get what's going to be now
happening one day in the future?
happening one day in the future?
200
500093
3249
我們知道未來某一天會發生什麼事嗎？
08:35
We need to sit down
and work on this right now."
and work on this right now."
201
503366
2267
我們需要坐下來，
現在就著手進行這件事。」
現在就著手進行這件事。」
08:37
And the Monkey said, "Totally agree,
but let's just open Google Earth
but let's just open Google Earth
202
505657
3265
然後猴子說：「完全同意，
不過我們先打開 Google Earth，
不過我們先打開 Google Earth，
08:40
and zoom in to the bottom of India,
like 200 feet above the ground,
like 200 feet above the ground,
203
508946
3160
縮放到印度底部大概地平面上兩百呎，
08:44
and scroll up for two and a half hours
til we get to the top of the country,
til we get to the top of the country,
204
512130
3621
然後花兩個半小時，
一直看到印度頂部，
一直看到印度頂部，
這樣才能好好了解一下整個印度。」
08:47
so we can get a better feel for India."
205
515775
1978
08:49
(Laughter)
206
517777
4435
（笑聲）
08:55
So that's what we did that day.
207
523149
1485
所以我們那天就做了這件事。
08:56
(Laughter)
208
524658
2670
（笑聲）
09:00
As six months turned into four
and then two and then one,
and then two and then one,
209
528604
3896
六個月變成四個月，
又變成兩個月，然後一個月，
又變成兩個月，然後一個月，
09:04
the people of TED decided
to release the speakers.
to release the speakers.
210
532524
3095
TED 的人決定公佈講者名單。
09:07
And I opened up the website,
and there was my face
and there was my face
211
535643
2612
我打開網站後，看到我自己的臉，
09:10
staring right back at me.
212
538279
1356
就在我正前方。
09:11
And guess who woke up?
213
539659
1600
這時候，猜猜看誰醒了？
09:13
(Laughter)
214
541283
3115
（笑聲）
09:17
So the Panic Monster
starts losing his mind,
starts losing his mind,
215
545430
2450
恐慌怪獸開始發瘋，
09:19
and a few seconds later,
the whole system's in mayhem.
the whole system's in mayhem.
216
547904
2746
幾秒鐘之後，整個系統一片混亂。
09:22
(Laughter)
217
550674
2446
（笑聲）
09:27
And the Monkey -- remember,
he's terrified of the Panic Monster --
he's terrified of the Panic Monster --
218
555511
3101
然後，還記得猴子怕死恐慌怪獸了嗎？
砰！他跑到樹上了！
09:30
boom, he's up the tree!
219
558636
1158
09:31
And finally,
220
559818
1151
最後，
09:32
finally, the Rational Decision-Maker
can take the wheel
can take the wheel
221
560993
2596
最後，理性決策者可以搶過方向盤，
09:35
and I can start working on the talk.
222
563613
1718
我也可以開始準備這演講。
09:37
Now, the Panic Monster explains
223
565355
2288
恐慌怪獸解釋了
09:39
all kinds of pretty insane
procrastinator behavior,
procrastinator behavior,
224
567667
3481
各種瘋狂的拖延行為，
09:43
like how someone like me
could spend two weeks
could spend two weeks
225
571172
2334
例如像我這樣的人怎麼會花兩週的時間
09:45
unable to start the opening
sentence of a paper,
sentence of a paper,
226
573530
3844
就是無法寫出文章開頭的幾句話，
09:49
and then miraculously find
the unbelievable work ethic
the unbelievable work ethic
227
577398
2771
然後神奇地發現自己
驚人的職業道德，
驚人的職業道德，
09:52
to stay up all night
and write eight pages.
and write eight pages.
228
580193
3096
並熬夜寫出八頁的文章。
09:56
And this entire situation,
with the three characters --
with the three characters --
229
584385
2982
這三種角色存在的整個情況，
09:59
this is the procrastinator's system.
230
587391
2020
就是拖延者的系統。
10:02
It's not pretty, but in the end, it works.
231
590096
3425
是不漂亮，但終究是能發揮作用的。
10:05
This is what I decided to write about
on the blog a couple of years ago.
on the blog a couple of years ago.
232
593545
4062
這就是我幾年前決定寫部落格的事情。
10:09
When I did, I was amazed by the response.
233
597631
2971
寫了之後，讀者的回應讓我很驚訝。
10:12
Literally thousands of emails came in,
234
600626
2153
真的有幾千封電子郵件進來，
10:14
from all different kinds of people
from all over the world,
from all over the world,
235
602803
2777
世界各地的千百種人寫信給我，
他們來自各行各業，
10:17
doing all different kinds of things.
236
605604
1738
其中有護士、銀行家、畫家、工程師，
10:19
These are people who were nurses,
bankers, painters, engineers
bankers, painters, engineers
237
607366
2966
10:22
and lots and lots of PhD students.
238
610356
2322
還有超多、超多的博士生。
10:24
(Laughter)
239
612702
2001
（笑聲）
10:26
And they were all writing,
saying the same thing:
saying the same thing:
240
614727
2288
大家都說一樣的事：
「我也有這個問題。」
10:29
"I have this problem too."
241
617039
1952
10:31
But what struck me was the contrast
between the light tone of the post
between the light tone of the post
242
619015
3829
但我驚訝的是，我寫得很輕鬆的文章
10:34
and the heaviness of these emails.
243
622868
2095
以及收到的沉重信件形成強烈對比。
10:36
These people were writing
with intense frustration
with intense frustration
244
624987
3083
這些人都非常挫折，
10:40
about what procrastination
had done to their lives,
had done to their lives,
245
628094
2762
覺得拖延對生活有很大影響，
10:42
about what this Monkey had done to them.
246
630880
2030
對猴子的行為感到挫敗。
10:46
And I thought about this, and I said,
247
634902
2966
我想了想之後說：
10:49
well, if the procrastinator's system
works, then what's going on?
works, then what's going on?
248
637892
3112
嗯，要是拖延者的系統有用，
那怎麼會發生這種情況？
那怎麼會發生這種情況？
10:53
Why are all of these people
in such a dark place?
in such a dark place?
249
641028
2486
為什麼這些人還是灰頭土臉？
10:55
Well, it turns out that there's
two kinds of procrastination.
two kinds of procrastination.
250
643538
3298
原來啊，拖延有兩種。
10:59
Everything I've talked about today,
the examples I've given,
the examples I've given,
251
647987
2834
我今天所講的、剛剛所舉的例子
都是有交期的。
都是有交期的。
11:02
they all have deadlines.
252
650845
1151
有交期的時候，
11:04
And when there's deadlines,
253
652020
1298
拖延的效果就會被控制在短期，
11:05
the effects of procrastination
are contained to the short term
are contained to the short term
254
653342
2925
因為恐慌怪獸會出面。
11:08
because the Panic Monster gets involved.
255
656291
1913
但還有另一種拖延，
11:10
But there's a second kind
of procrastination
of procrastination
256
658228
2054
就是沒有交期的情況。
11:12
that happens in situations
when there is no deadline.
when there is no deadline.
257
660306
2487
11:14
So if you wanted a career
where you're a self-starter --
where you're a self-starter --
258
662817
2690
所以如果你想要自己創業──
11:17
something in the arts,
something entrepreneurial --
something entrepreneurial --
259
665531
2413
想往藝術發展、創立公司──
11:19
there's no deadlines on those things
at first, because nothing's happening,
at first, because nothing's happening,
260
667968
3525
這些事剛開始是沒有交期的，
因為什麼事都沒有發生，
因為什麼事都沒有發生，
11:23
not until you've gone out
and done the hard work
and done the hard work
261
671517
2244
除非是已經開始著手，
努力了一陣子，
努力了一陣子，
11:25
to get momentum, get things going.
262
673785
1626
有衝勁繼續往下做的時候。
11:27
There's also all kinds of important things
outside of your career
outside of your career
263
675435
3078
除了事業以外，
也有各種重要的事情
也有各種重要的事情
是沒有期限的，
11:30
that don't involve any deadlines,
264
678537
1605
像是跟家人相聚
或是運動、照顧身體、
或是運動、照顧身體、
11:32
like seeing your family or exercising
and taking care of your health,
and taking care of your health,
265
680166
3265
經營人際或戀愛關係，
11:35
working on your relationship
266
683455
1404
11:36
or getting out of a relationship
that isn't working.
that isn't working.
267
684883
2681
或是終結一段沒有進展的關係。
11:39
Now if the procrastinator's only mechanism
of doing these hard things
of doing these hard things
268
687588
5148
如果拖延者做這些難事的唯一機制
11:44
is the Panic Monster, that's a problem,
269
692760
1885
是恐慌怪獸，那問題就來了，
11:46
because in all of these
non-deadline situations,
non-deadline situations,
270
694669
2800
因為以上這些事情都沒有交期，
11:49
the Panic Monster doesn't show up.
271
697493
1628
所以恐慌怪獸根本不會出現。
11:51
He has nothing to wake up for,
272
699145
1452
他沒有理由醒來，
11:52
so the effects of procrastination,
they're not contained;
they're not contained;
273
700621
2698
所以拖延的影響並沒有被控制住，
11:55
they just extend outward forever.
274
703343
1740
而是一直無限延後。
11:57
And it's this long-term
kind of procrastination
kind of procrastination
275
705953
2740
這種長期的拖延
12:00
that's much less visible
and much less talked about
and much less talked about
276
708717
3081
較難查覺，
且跟比較好笑的短期拖延相比
也較少人談論，
也較少人談論，
12:03
than the funnier, short-term
deadline-based kind.
deadline-based kind.
277
711822
2901
12:06
It's usually suffered
quietly and privately.
quietly and privately.
278
714747
3103
所以受苦的情況比較低調、私密。
12:10
And it can be the source
279
718816
1154
也會延伸出
12:11
of a huge amount of long-term
unhappiness, and regrets.
unhappiness, and regrets.
280
719994
3735
長期的不快樂以及悔恨。
12:16
And I thought, that's why
those people are emailing,
those people are emailing,
281
724576
2872
所以我想，這就是這些人
寫信給我的關係，
寫信給我的關係，
12:19
and that's why they're
in such a bad place.
in such a bad place.
282
727472
2502
也是為什麼他們這麼悽慘。
12:21
It's not that they're cramming
for some project.
for some project.
283
729998
2744
並不是他們一直積累著某些計畫不做，
12:24
It's that long-term procrastination
has made them feel like a spectator,
has made them feel like a spectator,
284
732766
3421
只是長期拖延讓他們
有時感覺就像旁觀者，
有時感覺就像旁觀者，
12:28
at times, in their own lives.
285
736211
2039
從旁觀看著自己的人生。
12:30
The frustration is not
that they couldn't achieve their dreams;
that they couldn't achieve their dreams;
286
738594
2982
挫折的並不是他們無法完成夢想，
12:33
it's that they weren't even
able to start chasing them.
able to start chasing them.
287
741600
3089
而是根本無法踏出逐夢的第一步。
12:36
So I read these emails
and I had a little bit of an epiphany --
and I had a little bit of an epiphany --
288
744713
4183
所以我看這些信件時，
突然有種領悟──
突然有種領悟──
12:42
that I don't think
non-procrastinators exist.
non-procrastinators exist.
289
750182
3400
那就是不拖延的人根本不存在。
12:45
That's right -- I think all of you
are procrastinators.
are procrastinators.
290
753979
3236
沒錯，我覺得你們全都是拖延者。
12:49
Now, you might not all be a mess,
291
757898
1914
或許你沒有像我們某些人
12:51
like some of us,
292
759836
1350
症狀那麼嚴重...
12:53
(Laughter)
293
761210
1529
（笑聲）
12:54
and some of you may have
a healthy relationship with deadlines,
a healthy relationship with deadlines,
294
762763
3316
或許有些人跟交期相處得比較好，
12:58
but remember: the Monkey's sneakiest trick
295
766103
2524
但是請記得：猴子最陰險的招數
13:00
is when the deadlines aren't there.
296
768651
1840
就是沒有交期的時候。
13:03
Now, I want to show you one last thing.
297
771249
2032
我想要再給你們看最後一個東西。
13:05
I call this a Life Calendar.
298
773305
2373
我稱這個為生命日曆。
13:08
That's one box for every week
of a 90-year life.
of a 90-year life.
299
776352
4279
每個格子代表一星期，總共 90 歲的生命。
13:13
That's not that many boxes,
300
781345
1589
其實真正的格子並沒有這麼多，
13:14
especially since we've already
used a bunch of those.
used a bunch of those.
301
782958
2974
特別是我們已經用掉很多格了。
13:18
So I think we need to all take a long,
hard look at that calendar.
hard look at that calendar.
302
786607
5132
所以我認為，大家都需要
認真仔細地看著這個日曆。
認真仔細地看著這個日曆。
13:24
We need to think about what
we're really procrastinating on,
we're really procrastinating on,
303
792977
3013
我們需要思考真正在拖延的是什麼，
13:28
because everyone is procrastinating
on something in life.
on something in life.
304
796014
3365
因為每個人都拖延著不同的事情。
13:32
We need to stay aware
of the Instant Gratification Monkey.
of the Instant Gratification Monkey.
305
800782
3030
我們需要意識到及時行樂猴的存在。
13:37
That's a job for all of us.
306
805455
2492
這是所有人的任務。
13:40
And because there's not
that many boxes on there,
that many boxes on there,
307
808669
2300
因為現在人生方格已經不多了，
13:42
it's a job that should
probably start today.
probably start today.
308
810993
2290
所以這個任務應該今天就開始。
13:45
Well, maybe not today, but ...
309
813307
3000
呃，或許不用今天就開始啦，不過...
13:48
(Laughter)
310
816331
1641
（笑聲）
13:49
You know.
311
817996
1150
你懂的，
13:51
Sometime soon.
312
819576
1150
很快啦。
13:53
Thank you.
313
821393
1209
謝謝。
13:54
(Applause)
314
822626
7998
（掌聲）
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Tim Urban - BloggerWith Wait But Why, Tim Urban demonstrates that complex and long-form writing can stand out in an online wilderness choked with listicles and clickbait.
Why you should listen
Tim Urban has become one of the Internet’s most popular writers. With wry stick-figure illustrations and occasionally epic prose on everything from procrastination to artificial intelligence, Urban's blog, Wait But Why, has garnered millions of unique page views, thousands of patrons and famous fans like Elon Musk.
Tim Urban | Speaker | TED.com