ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Rives - Performance poet, multimedia artist
Performance artist and storyteller Rives has been called "the first 2.0 poet," using images, video and technology to bring his words to life.

Why you should listen

Part poet, part storyteller, part philosopher, Rives is the co-host of TEDActive as well as a frequent TED speaker. On stage, his poems burst in many directions, exposing multiple layers and unexpected treats: childhood memories, grown-up humor, notions of love and lust, of what is lost forever and of what's still out there waiting to unfold. Chimborazo.

A regular on HBO's Def Poetry Jam, Rives also starred alongside model Bar Refaeli in the 2008 Bravo special Ironic Iconic America, touring the United States on a "roller coaster ride through the eye-popping panorama of American pop culture." Flat pages can't contain his storytelling, even when paper is his medium. The pop-up books he creates for children unfold with surprise: The Christmas Pop-Up Present expands to reveal moving parts, hidden areas and miniature booklets inside. 

His latest project—the Museum of Four in the Morning—is an ode to a time that may well be part of a global conspiracy. In a good way.  

More profile about the speaker
Rives | Speaker | TED.com
TEDSalon 2006

Rives: If I controlled the Internet

萊維斯控制網路

Filmed:
2,257,231 views

有多少詩人能把ebay, Friendster 及 Monster.com放進三分鐘的詩作中?好好欣賞萊維斯的獨特天分吧!
- Performance poet, multimedia artist
Performance artist and storyteller Rives has been called "the first 2.0 poet," using images, video and technology to bring his words to life. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:26
I wrote this poem after hearing聽力 a pretty漂亮 well known已知 actress演員
0
1000
4000
我寫下這首詩是在我聽到一個十分知名的女演員
00:30
tell a very well known已知 interviewer面試官 on television電視,
1
5000
3000
在電視上告訴一個家瑜戶曉的主持人
00:33
"I'm really getting得到 into the Internet互聯網 lately最近.
2
8000
2000
「最近我迷上了網路
00:35
I just wish希望 it were more organized有組織的."
3
10000
2000
不過我希望它能更加有規律。」
00:37
So ...
4
12000
1000
所以
00:38
(Laughter笑聲)
5
13000
2000
(笑聲)
00:42
If I controlled受控 the Internet互聯網,
6
17000
3000
如果由我來掌控網路的話
00:45
you could auction拍賣 your broken破碎 heart on eBay易趣.
7
20000
4000
你可以在eBay拍賣你破碎的心
00:49
Take the money; go to Amazon亞馬遜;
8
24000
2000
拿著錢,聯結到亞馬遜網上(網路書店)
00:51
buy購買 a phonebook電話簿 for a country國家 you've never been to -- call folks鄉親 at random隨機
9
26000
4000
買一本你從未去過的國家的電話簿,打給不認識的人
00:55
until直到 you find someone有人 who flirts調情 really well in a foreign國外 language語言.
10
30000
3000
打不停,直到你找到很會用外文調情的人為止
00:58
(Laughter笑聲)
11
33000
1000
(笑聲)
00:59
If I were in charge收費 of the Internet互聯網,
12
34000
2000
如果由我掌管網際網路
01:01
you could MapquestMapquest服務 your lover's情人 mood心情 swings波動.
13
36000
3000
你可以查詢你情人的心情動態地圖。
01:04
Hang left at cranky胡思亂想的, right at preoccupied斤斤計較,
14
39000
4000
暴躁時左轉,沒時間時右轉
01:08
U-turn掉頭 on silent無聲 treatment治療,
15
43000
2000
冷戰時來個迴轉,
01:10
all the way back to tongue kissing接吻 and good lovin'喜歡“.
16
45000
3000
一路回到舌吻和美好的戀愛
01:13
You could navigate導航 and understand理解 every一切 emotional情緒化 intersection路口.
17
48000
3000
每一個情緒路口你都可以導航和理解。
01:16
Some days, I'm as shallow as a baking pan,
18
51000
3000
有時候我膚淺的跟平底鍋一樣,
01:19
but I still stretch伸展 miles英里 in all directions方向.
19
54000
2000
但我仍朝各個方向延伸好幾哩。
01:21
If I owned擁有的 the Internet互聯網, Napster納普斯特, Monster怪物 and FriendsterFriendster的.comCOM
20
56000
6000
如果網際網路歸我所有,Napster, Monster and Friendster.com
01:27
would be one big website網站.
21
62000
2000
會整合成為一個大網站。
01:29
That way you could listen to cool music音樂
22
64000
2000
這樣你就可以邊聽酷酷的音樂
01:31
while you pretend假裝 to look for a job工作
23
66000
2000
然後一邊假裝找工作
01:33
and you're really just chattin'廷“ with your pals哥兒們.
24
68000
2000
但是你其實上是在和朋友聊天。
01:35
(Laughter笑聲)
25
70000
1000
(笑聲)
01:36
Heck哎呀, if I ran the Web捲筒紙, you could email電子郵件 dead people.
26
71000
4000
為什不行呢~如果我管網路,你可以寄電子郵件給死人
01:40
(Laughter笑聲)
27
75000
2000
(笑聲)
01:42
They would not email電子郵件 you back
28
77000
2000
雖然他們無法回信給你
01:44
(Laughter笑聲) --
29
79000
1000
(笑聲)
01:45
but you'd get an automated自動化 reply回复.
30
80000
2000
但你會得到一封自動回覆。
01:47
(Laughter笑聲)
31
82000
2000
(笑聲)
01:49
Their name名稱 in your inbox收件箱
32
84000
2000
他們的名字在你的收件夾匣出現-
01:51
(Laughter笑聲) --
33
86000
1000
(笑聲)
01:52
it's all you wanted anyway無論如何.
34
87000
2000
反正你要的不過也是如此。
01:54
And a message信息 saying, "Hey, it's me. I miss小姐 you.
35
89000
3000
內容寫著:「喂,是我。我想你。
01:57
(Laughter笑聲)
36
92000
1000
(笑聲)
01:58
Listen, you'll你會 see being存在 dead is dandy花花公子.
37
93000
3000
告訴你,你以後就會知道死亡有多讚。
02:01
Now you go back to raising提高 kids孩子 and waging發動 peace和平 and craving candy糖果."
38
96000
4000
你現在繼續去養孩子、鼓吹和平和渴望糖果吧。」
02:05
If I designed設計 the Internet互聯網, childhood童年.comCOM would be a loop循環
39
100000
5000
如果網際網路是我設計的,童年網會是有關
02:10
of a boy男孩 in an orchard果園, with a ski滑雪 pole for a sword,
40
105000
5000
一個在果樹園裡的男孩,以滑雪桿為劍,
02:15
trashcan垃圾箱 lid for a shield屏蔽, shouting叫喊, "I am the emperor皇帝 of oranges桔子.
41
110000
3000
垃圾桶蓋為盾,一直喊著:「我是橘子之王。
02:18
I am the emperor皇帝 of oranges桔子. I am the emperor皇帝 of oranges桔子."
42
113000
3000
我是橘子之王。我是橘子之王。」
02:21
Now follow跟隨 me, OK?
43
116000
1000
跟著我的思考方式一起,好嗎?
02:22
(Laughter笑聲)
44
117000
1000
(笑聲)
02:23
Grandma奶奶.comCOM would be a recipe食譜 for biscuits餅乾 and spit-bath吐浴 instructions說明.
45
118000
3000
祖母網,會是餅乾食譜和如何用口水幫孫子清理的教學。
02:26
One, two, three.
46
121000
2000
一、二、三(用口水梳小孩的頭髮)。
02:28
That links鏈接 with hotdiggitydoghotdiggitydog.comCOM.
47
123000
2000
這帶入了hotdiggitydog.com。
02:30
That is my grandfather祖父.
48
125000
2000
他是我祖父。
02:32
They take you to gruff-ex-cop-on-his-fourth-marriage粗暴-EX-COP-上他的四次婚姻.dad.
49
127000
2000
他們倆連結你到「臭臉-退休警察-和他的第四次婚姻的爸爸」。
02:34
He forms形式 an attachment附件 to
50
129000
1000
隨帶著的連結是
02:35
kind-of-ditzy-but-still-sends-ginger-snaps-for-Christmas種 - 的 - ditzy的,但是,仍然發送-姜扣換聖誕.mom媽媽,
51
130000
2000
「有點愚蠢-但聖誕節仍然送薑餅的母親」,
02:37
who downloads下載 the boy男孩 in the orchard果園, the emperor皇帝 of oranges桔子,
52
132000
4000
她下載了在果園裡的男孩,橘子之王,
02:41
who grows成長 up to be me --
53
136000
3000
長大了之後就是我-
02:44
the guy who usually平時 goes too far.
54
139000
2000
一個總是扯太遠的人。
02:46
So if I were emperor皇帝 of the Internet互聯網,
55
141000
3000
所以如果我是網路之王
02:49
I guess猜測 I'd still be mortal凡人, huh?
56
144000
3000
我猜我應該還是凡人吧?
02:52
But at that point, I would probably大概
57
147000
2000
但到時候,我可能
02:54
already已經 have the lowest最低 possible可能 mortgage抵押
58
149000
4000
已經有低到不能再低的房貸
02:58
and the most enlarged放大 possible可能 penis陰莖
59
153000
2000
及大到不能再大的”大老二”
03:00
(Laughter笑聲) --
60
155000
1000
(笑聲)
03:01
so I would outlaw取締 spam垃圾郵件 on my first day in office辦公室.
61
156000
2000
那麼我會在上班第一天宣布垃圾郵件不需要過濾了。
03:03
I wouldn't不會 need it.
62
158000
2000
因為我不會需要它。
03:05
I'd be like some kind of Internet互聯網 genius天才, and me,
63
160000
2000
我會是個網路天才,而我,
03:07
I'd like to upgrade升級 to deity and maybe just like that --
64
162000
4000
我希望升級為神人,而或許我就會-
03:11
pop流行的! -- I'd go wireless無線.
65
166000
3000
碰-我變無線了。
03:14
(Laughter笑聲)
66
169000
1000
(笑聲)
03:15
Huh? Maybe Google谷歌 would hire聘請 this.
67
170000
2000
啥?搞不好谷歌會用我這個主意。
03:17
I could zip壓縮 through通過 your servers服務器 and firewalls防火牆 like a virus病毒
68
172000
2000
我能快速穿梭於你的伺服器和防火牆,就像病毒
03:19
until直到 the World世界 Wide Web捲筒紙 is as wise明智的, as wild野生 and as organized有組織的
69
174000
4000
直到全球資訊網,如此狂野又有規律
03:23
as I think a modern-day現代 miracle奇蹟/oracle神諭 can get, but, ooh-eee哦,EEE,
70
178000
5000
一如我覺得現今奇蹟/預言之所能及,但,哎呀,
03:28
you want to bet賭注 just how whack重打 and un-PCUN-PC
71
183000
4000
你們要不要賭賭看你們的電腦會
03:32
your Mac蘋果電腦 or PC個人計算機 is going to be when I'm rocking搖擺
72
187000
2000
變得多不電腦化,一旦我掌控了
03:34
hot-shit-hot-shot-god熱狗屎熱射神.net?
73
189000
2000
熱門神人的網站?
03:36
I guess猜測 it's just like life.
74
191000
2000
我想這就像人生。
03:38
It is not a question of if you can --
75
193000
2000
問題不在於你是否可以。
03:40
it's: do ya?
76
195000
2000
而是,你要嗎?
03:42
We can interfere干擾 with the interface接口.
77
197000
2000
我們可以干涉任何的介面。
03:44
We can make "You've got Hallelujah哈利路亞" the national國民 anthem聖歌 of cyberspace網絡空間
78
199000
3000
我們可以立「你有哈雷路亞」為虛擬空間的國歌
03:47
every一切 lucky幸運 time we log日誌 on.
79
202000
2000
在每一次我們登入的幸運時間
03:49
You don't say a prayer禱告.
80
204000
2000
不用念祈禱文。
03:51
You don't write a psalm詩篇.
81
206000
2000
不用寫讚美詩。
03:53
You don't chant an "omOM."
82
208000
2000
不用唱頌翁。
03:55
You send發送 one blessed幸福 email電子郵件 to whomever任何人 you're thinking思維 of
83
210000
4000
只要發送一封祈福過的電郵給你想到的任何人
03:59
at dah-da-la-dat-da-dah-da-la-datDAH-DA-LA-DAT-DA-DAH-DA-LA-DAT.comCOM.
84
214000
6000
在答答啦答答答答啦搭.com。
04:05
Thank you, TEDTED.
85
220000
1000
謝謝,TED。
04:06
(Applause掌聲)
86
221000
3000
(掌聲)
Translated by Pin-hsien Kuo
Reviewed by Leonard Lin

▲Back to top

ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Rives - Performance poet, multimedia artist
Performance artist and storyteller Rives has been called "the first 2.0 poet," using images, video and technology to bring his words to life.

Why you should listen

Part poet, part storyteller, part philosopher, Rives is the co-host of TEDActive as well as a frequent TED speaker. On stage, his poems burst in many directions, exposing multiple layers and unexpected treats: childhood memories, grown-up humor, notions of love and lust, of what is lost forever and of what's still out there waiting to unfold. Chimborazo.

A regular on HBO's Def Poetry Jam, Rives also starred alongside model Bar Refaeli in the 2008 Bravo special Ironic Iconic America, touring the United States on a "roller coaster ride through the eye-popping panorama of American pop culture." Flat pages can't contain his storytelling, even when paper is his medium. The pop-up books he creates for children unfold with surprise: The Christmas Pop-Up Present expands to reveal moving parts, hidden areas and miniature booklets inside. 

His latest project—the Museum of Four in the Morning—is an ode to a time that may well be part of a global conspiracy. In a good way.  

More profile about the speaker
Rives | Speaker | TED.com

THE ORIGINAL VIDEO ON TED.COM