TEDWomen 2010
Courtney E. Martin: This isn't her mother's feminism
Filmed:
Readability: 4.4
1,115,520 views
Blogger Courtney E. Martin examines the perennially loaded word "feminism" in this personal and heartfelt talk. She talks through the three essential paradoxes of her generation's quest to define the term for themselves.
Courtney E. Martin - Journalist
Courtney E. Martin’s work has two obsessions at its core: storytelling and solutions. Full bio
Courtney E. Martin’s work has two obsessions at its core: storytelling and solutions. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:15
So I was born
0
0
2000
00:17
on the last day
1
2000
2000
00:19
of the last year of the '70s.
2
4000
3000
00:23
I was raised on "Free to be you and me" --
3
8000
3000
00:26
(cheering)
4
11000
2000
00:28
hip-hop --
5
13000
2000
00:30
not as many woohoos for hip-hop in the house.
6
15000
2000
00:32
Thank you. Thank you for hip-hop --
7
17000
3000
00:35
and Anita Hill.
8
20000
2000
00:37
(Cheering)
9
22000
3000
00:40
My parents were radicals --
10
25000
3000
00:43
(Laughter)
11
28000
2000
00:45
who became,
12
30000
2000
00:47
well, grown-ups.
13
32000
3000
00:50
My dad facetiously says,
14
35000
2000
00:52
"We wanted to save the world,
15
37000
2000
00:54
and instead we just got rich."
16
39000
3000
00:58
We actually just got "middle class"
17
43000
2000
01:00
in Colorado Springs, Colorado,
18
45000
2000
01:02
but you get the picture.
19
47000
2000
01:04
I was raised with a very heavy sense
20
49000
2000
01:06
of unfinished legacy.
21
51000
2000
01:08
At this ripe old age of 30,
22
53000
3000
01:11
I've been thinking a lot about what it means to grow up
23
56000
3000
01:14
in this horrible, beautiful time,
24
59000
3000
01:17
and I've decided, for me,
25
62000
2000
01:19
it's been a real journey and paradox.
26
64000
3000
01:22
The first paradox
27
67000
2000
01:24
is that growing up is about rejecting the past
28
69000
2000
01:26
and then promptly reclaiming it.
29
71000
2000
01:28
Feminism was the water I grew up in.
30
73000
3000
01:31
When I was just a little girl,
31
76000
2000
01:33
my mom started what is now
32
78000
2000
01:35
the longest-running women's film festival in the world.
33
80000
3000
01:38
So while other kids were watching sitcoms and cartoons,
34
83000
3000
01:41
I was watching very esoteric documentaries
35
86000
3000
01:44
made by and about women.
36
89000
2000
01:46
You can see how this had an influence.
37
91000
2000
01:48
But she was not the only feminist in the house.
38
93000
3000
01:51
My dad actually resigned
39
96000
2000
01:53
from the male-only business club in my hometown
40
98000
3000
01:56
because he said he would never be part of an organization
41
101000
3000
01:59
that would one day welcome his son, but not his daughter.
42
104000
3000
02:02
(Applause)
43
107000
5000
02:07
He's actually here today.
44
112000
2000
02:09
(Applause)
45
114000
5000
02:14
The trick here
46
119000
2000
02:16
is my brother would become an experimental poet,
47
121000
2000
02:18
not a businessman,
48
123000
2000
02:20
but the intention was really good.
49
125000
2000
02:22
(Laughter)
50
127000
2000
02:24
In any case, I didn't readily claim the feminist label,
51
129000
2000
02:26
even though it was all around me,
52
131000
2000
02:28
because I associated it with my mom's women's groups,
53
133000
2000
02:30
her swishy skirts and her shoulder pads --
54
135000
3000
02:33
none of which had much cachet
55
138000
2000
02:35
in the hallways of Palmer High School
56
140000
2000
02:37
where I was trying to be cool at the time.
57
142000
2000
02:39
But I suspected there was something really important
58
144000
2000
02:41
about this whole feminism thing,
59
146000
2000
02:43
so I started covertly tiptoeing into my mom's bookshelves
60
148000
4000
02:47
and picking books off and reading them --
61
152000
3000
02:50
never, of course, admitting that I was doing so.
62
155000
2000
02:52
I didn't actually claim the feminist label
63
157000
3000
02:55
until I went to Barnard College
64
160000
2000
02:57
and I heard Amy Richards and Jennifer Baumgardner speak for the first time.
65
162000
4000
03:01
They were the co-authors of a book called "Manifesta."
66
166000
3000
03:04
So what very profound epiphany, you might ask,
67
169000
3000
03:07
was responsible for my feminist click moment?
68
172000
3000
03:10
Fishnet stockings.
69
175000
2000
03:12
Jennifer Baumgardner was wearing them.
70
177000
2000
03:14
I thought they were really hot.
71
179000
2000
03:16
I decided, okay, I can claim the feminist label.
72
181000
2000
03:18
Now I tell you this --
73
183000
3000
03:21
I tell you this at the risk of embarrassing myself,
74
186000
3000
03:24
because I think part of the work of feminism
75
189000
2000
03:26
is to admit that aesthetics, that beauty,
76
191000
2000
03:28
that fun do matter.
77
193000
2000
03:30
There are lots of very modern political movements
78
195000
3000
03:33
that have caught fire in no small part
79
198000
2000
03:35
because of cultural hipness.
80
200000
2000
03:37
Anyone heard of these two guys as an example?
81
202000
3000
03:40
So my feminism is very indebted to my mom's,
82
205000
3000
03:43
but it looks very different.
83
208000
2000
03:45
My mom says, "patriarchy."
84
210000
2000
03:47
I say, "intersectionality."
85
212000
2000
03:49
So race, class, gender, ability,
86
214000
3000
03:52
all of these things go into our experiences
87
217000
2000
03:54
of what it means to be a woman.
88
219000
2000
03:56
Pay equity? Yes. Absolutely a feminist issue.
89
221000
2000
03:58
But for me, so is immigration. (Applause)
90
223000
3000
04:01
Thank you.
91
226000
2000
04:04
My mom says, "Protest march."
92
229000
2000
04:06
I say, "Online organizing."
93
231000
3000
04:09
I co-edit, along with a collective
94
234000
2000
04:11
of other super-smart, amazing women,
95
236000
2000
04:13
a site called Feministing.com.
96
238000
3000
04:16
We are the most widely read feminist publication ever,
97
241000
5000
04:21
and I tell you this
98
246000
2000
04:23
because I think it's really important to see
99
248000
2000
04:25
that there's a continuum.
100
250000
2000
04:27
Feminist blogging is basically the 21st century version
101
252000
3000
04:30
of consciousness raising.
102
255000
2000
04:32
But we also have a straightforward political impact.
103
257000
3000
04:35
Feministing has been able
104
260000
2000
04:37
to get merchandise pulled off the shelves of Walmart.
105
262000
2000
04:39
We got a misogynist administrator sending us hate-mail
106
264000
3000
04:42
fired from a Big Ten school.
107
267000
2000
04:44
And one of our biggest successes
108
269000
3000
04:47
is we get mail from teenage girls in the middle of Iowa
109
272000
3000
04:50
who say, "I Googled Jessica Simpson and stumbled on your site.
110
275000
3000
04:53
I realized feminism wasn't about man-hating and Birkenstocks."
111
278000
3000
04:56
So we're able to pull in the next generation
112
281000
3000
04:59
in a totally new way.
113
284000
2000
05:01
My mom says, "Gloria Steinem."
114
286000
3000
05:04
I say, "Samhita Mukhopadhyay,
115
289000
2000
05:06
Miriam Perez, Ann Friedman,
116
291000
2000
05:08
Jessica Valenti, Vanessa Valenti,
117
293000
2000
05:10
and on and on and on and on."
118
295000
2000
05:12
We don't want one hero.
119
297000
2000
05:14
We don't want one icon.
120
299000
2000
05:16
We don't want one face.
121
301000
2000
05:18
We are thousands of women and men across this country
122
303000
3000
05:21
doing online writing, community organizing,
123
306000
3000
05:24
changing institutions from the inside out --
124
309000
3000
05:27
all continuing the incredible work
125
312000
2000
05:29
that our mothers and grandmothers started.
126
314000
3000
05:33
Thank you.
127
318000
2000
05:35
(Applause)
128
320000
2000
05:37
Which brings me to the second paradox:
129
322000
2000
05:39
sobering up about our smallness
130
324000
2000
05:41
and maintaining faith in our greatness
131
326000
2000
05:43
all at once.
132
328000
2000
05:45
Many in my generation --
133
330000
2000
05:47
because of well-intentioned parenting and self-esteem education --
134
332000
3000
05:50
were socialized to believe
135
335000
2000
05:52
that we were special little snowflakes --
136
337000
2000
05:54
(Laughter)
137
339000
2000
05:56
who were going to go out and save the world.
138
341000
3000
05:59
These are three words many of us were raised with.
139
344000
3000
06:02
We walk across graduation stages,
140
347000
2000
06:04
high on our overblown expectations,
141
349000
2000
06:06
and when we float back down to earth,
142
351000
2000
06:08
we realize we don't know what the heck it means
143
353000
2000
06:10
to actually save the world anyway.
144
355000
3000
06:13
The mainstream media often paints my generation
145
358000
3000
06:16
as apathetic,
146
361000
2000
06:18
and I think it's much more accurate
147
363000
2000
06:20
to say we are deeply overwhelmed.
148
365000
2000
06:22
And there's a lot to be overwhelmed about, to be fair --
149
367000
2000
06:24
an environmental crisis,
150
369000
2000
06:26
wealth disparity in this country
151
371000
2000
06:28
unlike we've seen since 1928,
152
373000
2000
06:30
and globally,
153
375000
2000
06:32
a totally immoral and ongoing wealth disparity.
154
377000
3000
06:35
Xenophobia's on the rise. The trafficking of women and girls.
155
380000
3000
06:38
It's enough to make you feel very overwhelmed.
156
383000
3000
06:41
I experienced this firsthand myself
157
386000
2000
06:43
when I graduated from Barnard College in 2002.
158
388000
3000
06:46
I was fired up; I was ready to make a difference.
159
391000
2000
06:48
I went out and I worked at a non-profit,
160
393000
2000
06:50
I went to grad school, I phone-banked,
161
395000
3000
06:53
I protested, I volunteered,
162
398000
3000
06:56
and none of it seemed to matter.
163
401000
3000
07:00
And on a particularly dark night
164
405000
2000
07:02
of December of 2004,
165
407000
2000
07:04
I sat down with my family,
166
409000
2000
07:06
and I said that I had become very disillusioned.
167
411000
3000
07:10
I admitted that I'd actually had a fantasy -- kind of a dark fantasy --
168
415000
3000
07:13
of writing a letter
169
418000
2000
07:15
about everything that was wrong with the world
170
420000
2000
07:17
and then lighting myself on fire
171
422000
2000
07:19
on the White House steps.
172
424000
3000
07:22
My mom
173
427000
2000
07:24
took a drink of her signature Sea Breeze,
174
429000
4000
07:28
her eyes really welled with tears,
175
433000
3000
07:31
and she looked right at me and she said,
176
436000
3000
07:34
"I will not stand
177
439000
2000
07:36
for your desperation."
178
441000
2000
07:38
She said, "You are smarter, more creative
179
443000
3000
07:41
and more resilient than that."
180
446000
3000
07:44
Which brings me to my third paradox.
181
449000
3000
07:47
Growing up is about aiming to succeed wildly
182
452000
2000
07:49
and being fulfilled by failing really well.
183
454000
3000
07:52
(Laughter)
184
457000
2000
07:54
(Applause)
185
459000
2000
07:56
There's a writer I've been deeply influenced by, Parker Palmer,
186
461000
3000
07:59
and he writes that many of us are often whiplashed
187
464000
2000
08:01
"between arrogant overestimation of ourselves
188
466000
3000
08:04
and a servile underestimation of ourselves."
189
469000
3000
08:07
You may have guessed by now,
190
472000
2000
08:09
I did not light myself on fire.
191
474000
2000
08:11
I did what I know to do in desperation, which is write.
192
476000
3000
08:14
I wrote the book I needed to read.
193
479000
3000
08:17
I wrote a book about eight incredible people
194
482000
2000
08:19
all over this country
195
484000
2000
08:21
doing social justice work.
196
486000
2000
08:23
I wrote about Nia Martin-Robinson,
197
488000
2000
08:25
the daughter of Detroit and two civil rights activists,
198
490000
2000
08:27
who's dedicating her life
199
492000
2000
08:29
to environmental justice.
200
494000
2000
08:31
I wrote about Emily Apt
201
496000
2000
08:33
who initially became a caseworker in the welfare system
202
498000
2000
08:35
because she decided that was the most noble thing she could do,
203
500000
3000
08:38
but quickly learned, not only did she not like it,
204
503000
2000
08:40
but she wasn't really good at it.
205
505000
2000
08:42
Instead, what she really wanted to do was make films.
206
507000
2000
08:44
So she made a film about the welfare system
207
509000
2000
08:46
and had a huge impact.
208
511000
2000
08:48
I wrote about Maricela Guzman, the daughter of Mexican immigrants,
209
513000
3000
08:51
who joined the military so she could afford college.
210
516000
4000
08:55
She was actually sexually assaulted in boot camp
211
520000
2000
08:57
and went on to co-organize a group
212
522000
2000
08:59
called the Service Women's Action Network.
213
524000
3000
09:02
What I learned from these people and others
214
527000
2000
09:04
was that I couldn't judge them
215
529000
2000
09:06
based on their failure to meet their very lofty goals.
216
531000
3000
09:09
Many of them are working in deeply intractable systems --
217
534000
3000
09:12
the military, congress,
218
537000
2000
09:14
the education system, etc.
219
539000
2000
09:16
But what they managed to do within those systems
220
541000
2000
09:18
was be a humanizing force.
221
543000
3000
09:21
And at the end of the day,
222
546000
2000
09:23
what could possibly be more important than that?
223
548000
2000
09:25
Cornel West says, "Of course it's a failure.
224
550000
2000
09:27
But how good a failure is it?"
225
552000
3000
09:30
This isn't to say we give up our wildest, biggest dreams.
226
555000
3000
09:33
It's to say we operate on two levels.
227
558000
2000
09:35
On one,
228
560000
2000
09:37
we really go after changing these broken systems
229
562000
2000
09:39
of which we find ourselves a part.
230
564000
2000
09:41
But on the other, we root our self-esteem
231
566000
2000
09:43
in the daily acts of trying to make one person's day
232
568000
3000
09:46
more kind, more just, etc.
233
571000
3000
09:49
So when I was a little girl,
234
574000
2000
09:51
I had a couple of very strange habits.
235
576000
2000
09:53
One of them was
236
578000
2000
09:55
I used to lie on the kitchen floor of my childhood home,
237
580000
2000
09:57
and I would suck the thumb of my left hand
238
582000
2000
09:59
and hold my mom's cold toes with my right hand.
239
584000
3000
10:02
(Laughter)
240
587000
2000
10:04
I was listening to her talk on the phone, which she did a lot.
241
589000
3000
10:07
She was talking about board meetings,
242
592000
3000
10:10
she was founding peace organizations,
243
595000
2000
10:12
she was coordinating carpools, she was consoling friends --
244
597000
3000
10:15
all these daily acts of care and creativity.
245
600000
3000
10:18
And surely, at three and four years old,
246
603000
2000
10:20
I was listening to the soothing sound of her voice,
247
605000
3000
10:23
but I think I was also getting my first lesson in activist work.
248
608000
3000
10:26
The activists I interviewed
249
611000
2000
10:28
had nothing in common, literally, except for one thing,
250
613000
3000
10:31
which was that they all cited their mothers
251
616000
2000
10:33
as their most looming and important
252
618000
2000
10:35
activist influences.
253
620000
2000
10:37
So often, particularly at a young age,
254
622000
2000
10:39
we look far afield
255
624000
3000
10:42
for our models of the meaningful life,
256
627000
2000
10:44
and sometimes they're in our own kitchens,
257
629000
3000
10:47
talking on the phone, making us dinner,
258
632000
2000
10:49
doing all that keeps the world going around and around.
259
634000
4000
10:53
My mom and so many women like her
260
638000
2000
10:55
have taught me that life is not about glory,
261
640000
3000
10:58
or certainty, or security even.
262
643000
3000
11:01
It's about embracing the paradox.
263
646000
2000
11:03
It's about acting in the face of overwhelm.
264
648000
3000
11:06
And it's about loving people really well.
265
651000
3000
11:09
And at the end of the day,
266
654000
2000
11:11
these things make for a lifetime
267
656000
3000
11:14
of challenge and reward.
268
659000
2000
11:16
Thank you.
269
661000
2000
11:18
(Applause)
270
663000
2000
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Courtney E. Martin - JournalistCourtney E. Martin’s work has two obsessions at its core: storytelling and solutions.
Why you should listen
In her upcoming book, The New Better Off, Courtney E. Martin explores how people are redefining the American dream with an eye toward fulfillment. Martin is a columnist for On Being, and the cofounder of the Solutions Journalism Network, Valenti Martin Media, and FRESH Speakers, as well as a strategist for the TED Prize and an editor emeritus at Feministing.com.
In her previous book Do It Anyway: The New Generation of Activists, she profiled eight young people doing social justice work, a fascinating look at the generation of world-changers who are now stepping up to the plate.
Courtney E. Martin | Speaker | TED.com