TEDxOmaha
Sofia Jawed-Wessel: The lies we tell pregnant women
Sofia Jawed-Wessel: Laži koje govorimo trudnim ženama
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"Kad kažemo ženama da seks nije vrijedan rizika tijekom trudnoće, mi joj poručujemo da njen seksualni užitak nije bitan ... da ona, zapravo, nije bitna," kaže seksualna istraživačica Sofia Jawed-Wessel. U ovom razgovoru koji otvara oči, Jawed-Wessel ruši naša stajališta o trudnoći i užitku, kako bi objasnila odnos između žena, seksa i sustava moći.
Sofia Jawed-Wessel - Sex researcher
Sofia Jawed-Wessel's teachings utilize a sex-positive and pleasure-inclusive approach to providing medically accurate, comprehensive sexuality education. Full bio
Sofia Jawed-Wessel's teachings utilize a sex-positive and pleasure-inclusive approach to providing medically accurate, comprehensive sexuality education. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
We're going to share
a lot of secrets today, you and I,
a lot of secrets today, you and I,
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Podijelit ćemo danas mnogo tajni
00:15
and in doing so, I hope that we can lift
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i nadam se da time možemo iskazati
00:18
some of the shame
many of us feel about sex.
many of us feel about sex.
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sram koji mnogi od nas osjećaju
po pitanju seksa.
po pitanju seksa.
00:22
How many here have ever been
catcalled by a stranger?
catcalled by a stranger?
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Koliko vas je ovdje kojima je stranac
nešto dobacio, zazviždao?
nešto dobacio, zazviždao?
00:28
Lots of women.
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Mnogo žena.
00:30
For me, the time I remember best
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Meni je trenutak kojeg se najbolje sjećam,
00:33
is when that stranger
was a student of mine.
was a student of mine.
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onaj kada je taj stranac bio moj student.
00:37
He came up to me after class that night
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Prišao mi je poslije predavanja
i njegove riječi su potvrdile
ono što sam već znala:
ono što sam već znala:
00:40
and his words confirmed
what I already knew:
what I already knew:
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"Oprostite, profesorice,
00:43
"I am so sorry, professor.
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da sam znao da ste Vi,
ne bih nikad rekao te stvari."
ne bih nikad rekao te stvari."
00:45
If I had known it was you,
I would never have said those things."
I would never have said those things."
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(Smijeh)
00:49
(Laughter)
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Za njega nisam bila osoba
sve dok nisam bila njegova profesorica.
sve dok nisam bila njegova profesorica.
00:51
I wasn't a person to him
until I was his professor.
until I was his professor.
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00:56
This concept, called objectification,
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Ovaj koncept, nazvan objektifikacija,
00:59
is the foundation of sexism,
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temelj je seksizma
01:01
and we see it reinforced
through every aspect of our lives.
through every aspect of our lives.
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i vidimo ga ojačanog
u svakom aspektu naših života.
u svakom aspektu naših života.
01:07
We see it in the government
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Vidimo ga u Vladi
01:09
that refuses to punish men
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koja odbija kazniti muškarce
zbog silovanja žena.
01:13
for raping women.
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01:15
We see it in advertisements.
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Vidimo ga u reklamama.
Koliko vas je vidjelo reklamu
01:17
How many of you have seen an advertisement
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koja koristi ženske grudi radi
prodaje potpuno nepovezanog proizvoda?
prodaje potpuno nepovezanog proizvoda?
01:19
that uses a woman's breast
to sell an entirely unrelated product?
to sell an entirely unrelated product?
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01:26
Or movie after movie after movie
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Ili film za filmom
01:30
that portrays women
as only love interests?
as only love interests?
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koji prikazuju žene
koje samo zanima ljubav?
koje samo zanima ljubav?
01:34
These examples might seem
inconsequential and harmless,
inconsequential and harmless,
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Ovi se primjeri možda čine
nedosljednima i bezopasnima,
nedosljednima i bezopasnima,
01:37
but they're insidious,
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ali oni su podmukli,
01:39
slowly building into a culture
that refuses to see women as people.
that refuses to see women as people.
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polako gradeći kulturu
koja odbija vidjeti žene kao ljude.
koja odbija vidjeti žene kao ljude.
01:43
We see this in the school
that sends home a 10-year-old girl
that sends home a 10-year-old girl
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To vidimo u školi koja
kući šalje desetogodišnjakinju
kući šalje desetogodišnjakinju
jer je njena odjeća odvlačila
pažnju dječaka koji su pokušavali učiti,
pažnju dječaka koji su pokušavali učiti,
01:48
because her clothes were
a distraction to boys trying to learn,
a distraction to boys trying to learn,
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01:51
or the government that refuses
to punish men for raping women
to punish men for raping women
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ili u Vladi koja odbija
kazniti muškarce zbog silovanja žena
kazniti muškarce zbog silovanja žena
01:57
over and over,
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opet i opet,
01:58
or the woman who is killed
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ili u ženi koja je ubijena
02:00
because she asked a man to stop
grinding on her on the dance floor.
grinding on her on the dance floor.
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jer je zatražila od muškarca da
joj prestane dosađivati na plesnom podiju.
joj prestane dosađivati na plesnom podiju.
02:07
Media plays a large role in perpetuating
the objectification of women.
the objectification of women.
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Mediji igraju veliku ulogu
u ovjekovječivanju objektifikacije žena.
u ovjekovječivanju objektifikacije žena.
Uzmimo u obzir
klasičnu romantičnu komediju.
klasičnu romantičnu komediju.
02:13
Let's consider
the classic romantic comedy.
the classic romantic comedy.
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02:16
We're typically introduced
to two kinds of women in these movies,
to two kinds of women in these movies,
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Obično su nam predstavljena
dva tipa žena u ovim filmovima,
dva tipa žena u ovim filmovima,
02:20
two kinds of desirable women, anyway.
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dva tipa poželjnih žena.
02:22
The first is the sexy bombshell.
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Prva je seks bomba.
02:25
This is the unbelievably gorgeous woman
with the perfect body.
with the perfect body.
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To je nevjerojatno prekrasna žena
savršenog tijela.
savršenog tijela.
Naš glavni junak zna kako je prepoznati
02:29
Our leading man
has no trouble identifying her
has no trouble identifying her
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02:31
and even less trouble having sex with her.
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te kako je lako navesti na seks.
Druga je naša glavna junakinja,
02:34
The second is our leading lady,
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02:36
the beautiful but demure woman
our leading man falls in love with
our leading man falls in love with
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prekrasna, ali povučena žena
u koju se naš junak zaljubljuje,
u koju se naš junak zaljubljuje,
02:40
despite not noticing her at first
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unatoč tome što je na prvu nije primjetio
02:42
or not liking her if he did.
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ili mu se nije svidjela.
02:45
The first is the slut.
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Prva je drolja.
02:47
She is to be consumed and forgotten.
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Ona služi da je se konzumira i zaboravi.
02:49
She is much too available.
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Ona je previše dostupna.
02:51
The second is desirable but modest,
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Druga je poželjna, ali skromna
02:55
and therefore worthy
of our leading man's future babies.
of our leading man's future babies.
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i stoga vrijedna buduće djece
našeg glavnog junaka.
našeg glavnog junaka.
02:58
Marriage material.
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Materijal za brak.
03:00
We're actually told
that women have two roles,
that women have two roles,
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Zapravo nam je rečeno
da žena ima dvije uloge,
da žena ima dvije uloge,
03:03
but these two roles have a difficult time
existing within the same woman.
existing within the same woman.
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ali te dvije uloge teško
da postoje u jednoj ženi.
da postoje u jednoj ženi.
03:08
On the rare occasion
that I share with a new acquaintance
that I share with a new acquaintance
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U rijetkim prilikama gdje
novim poznanicima kažem
novim poznanicima kažem
da proučavam seks,
03:12
that I study sex,
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ako ne prekinu razgovor odmah,
03:13
if they don't end
the conversation right then,
the conversation right then,
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03:16
they're usually pretty intrigued.
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obično su poprilično zaintrigirani.
"Oh. Reci mi više."
03:19
"Oh. Tell me more."
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Pa to i činim.
03:21
So I do.
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"Jako me zanima proučavanje
seksualnog ponašanja
seksualnog ponašanja
03:24
"I'm really interested
in studying the sexual behaviors
in studying the sexual behaviors
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parova koji prolaze kroz trudnoću
ili su je tek prošli."
ili su je tek prošli."
03:26
of pregnant and postpartum couples."
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03:28
At this point I get
a different kind of response.
a different kind of response.
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U tom trenu dobijem
drugačiji tip odgovora.
drugačiji tip odgovora.
03:32
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
03:34
"Oh. Huh.
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"Oh. Hm.
03:36
Do pregnant people even have sex?
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Imaju li uopće ljudi
u trudnoći spolni odnos?
u trudnoći spolni odnos?
03:40
Have you thought
about studying sexual desire
about studying sexual desire
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Jesi li razmišljala
o proučavanju seksualnih želja
o proučavanju seksualnih želja
03:44
or orgasms?
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ili orgazama?
03:45
That would be interesting, and sexy."
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To bi bilo zanimljivo, i seksi."
03:50
Tell me. What are the first words
that come to mind
that come to mind
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Recite mi. Koje su prve riječi
koje Vam padnu na pamet
koje Vam padnu na pamet
03:52
when you picture a pregnant woman?
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kad zamislite trudnu ženu?
03:55
I asked this question
in a survey of over 500 adults,
in a survey of over 500 adults,
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Postavila sam ovo pitanje
anketiranjem preko 500 odraslih ljudi
anketiranjem preko 500 odraslih ljudi
03:58
and most responded with "belly" or "round"
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i većina je odgovorila s
"trbuh" ili "okruglo"
"trbuh" ili "okruglo"
04:02
and "cute."
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te "slatko."
04:05
This didn't surprise me too much.
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To me nije previše iznenadilo.
04:06
What else do we label as cute?
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Što još kategoriziramo kao slatko?
04:09
Babies. Puppies. Kittens.
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Bebe. Psiće. Mačiće.
04:12
The elderly. Right?
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Starije ljude. Zar ne?
04:14
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
No, doduše, kad kategoriziramo
odrasle kao slatke,
odrasle kao slatke,
04:17
When we label an adult as cute, though,
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oduzimamo im mnogo njihove inteligencije,
04:19
we take away a lot of their intelligence,
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04:22
their complexity.
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njihove kompleksnosti.
04:24
We reduce them to childlike qualities.
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Reduciramo ih na djetinje kvalitete.
Također sam zatražila
heteroseksualne muškarce
heteroseksualne muškarce
04:27
I also asked heterosexual men
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04:29
to imagine a woman that they're
partnered with is pregnant,
partnered with is pregnant,
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da ženu s kojom su u vezi
zamisle kao trudnicu,
zamisle kao trudnicu,
04:32
and then asked women
to imagine that they are pregnant,
to imagine that they are pregnant,
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a zatim sam zatražila žene
da se zamisle kao trudnice
da se zamisle kao trudnice
04:35
and then tell me
the first words that come to mind
the first words that come to mind
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te da mi onda kažu
prve riječi koje im padnu napamet
prve riječi koje im padnu napamet
04:37
when they imagine having sex.
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pri pomisli na seks u tom periodu.
04:40
Most of the responses were negative.
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Većina odgovora bila je negativna.
"Odvratno."
04:44
"Gross."
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"Čudno."
04:45
"Awkward."
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04:47
"Not sexy." "Odd."
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"Nimalo seksi." "Neobično."
04:49
"Uncomfortable."
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"Neugodno."
04:51
"How?"
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"Kako?"
04:52
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
04:55
"Not worth the trouble."
"Not worth the risk."
"Not worth the risk."
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"Nije vrijedno muke."
"Nije vrijedno rizika."
"Nije vrijedno rizika."
04:58
That last one really stuck with me.
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Ovo zadnje me je poprilično pogodilo.
05:01
We might think that because we divorce
pregnant women and moms from sexuality,
pregnant women and moms from sexuality,
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Možda mislimo da zato što odvajamo
trudnice i majke od seksualnosti,
trudnice i majke od seksualnosti,
05:06
we are removing the constraints
of sexual objectification.
of sexual objectification.
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da mičemo i ograničenja
seksualne objektifikacije.
seksualne objektifikacije.
05:11
They experience less sexism. Right?
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One prolaze kroz manje seksizma. Zar ne?
05:14
Not exactly.
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Pa i ne baš.
05:15
What happens instead
is a different kind of objectification.
is a different kind of objectification.
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Ono što je stvarno posrijedi
drugačiji je tip objektifikacije.
drugačiji je tip objektifikacije.
05:19
In my efforts to explain this to others,
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U svojim nastojanjima da
objasnim ovo drugima,
objasnim ovo drugima,
05:22
one conversation
led to the Venus of Willendorf,
led to the Venus of Willendorf,
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jedan razgovor je otišao
sve do Venere iz Willendorfa,
sve do Venere iz Willendorfa,
05:25
a Paleolithic figurine scholars assumed
was a goddess of love and beauty,
was a goddess of love and beauty,
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paleolitske figure za koju su znanstvenici
mislili da je božica ljepote i ljubavi,
mislili da je božica ljepote i ljubavi,
05:30
hence the name Venus.
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odatle naziv Venera.
05:32
This theory was later revised, though,
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Ta teorija kasnije je revidirana,
kad su znanstvenici primjetili
autorov očit fokus
autorov očit fokus
05:34
when scholars noted
the sculptor's obvious focus
the sculptor's obvious focus
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05:38
on the figurine's reproductive features:
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na figuričine reproduktivne značajke:
05:41
large breasts,
considered ideal for nursing;
considered ideal for nursing;
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velike grudi, koje su smatrane
idealnim za dojenje;
idealnim za dojenje;
05:45
a round, possibly pregnant belly;
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okrugao, vjerojatno trudnički trbuh,
05:47
the remnants of red dye,
alluding to menstruation or birth.
alluding to menstruation or birth.
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ostaci crvene boje,
aludirajući na mjesečnicu ili rođenje.
aludirajući na mjesečnicu ili rođenje.
Također se pretpostavljalo da se figurica
držala ili stavljala u ležeći položaj
držala ili stavljala u ležeći položaj
05:52
They also assumed that she was
meant to be held or placed lying down
meant to be held or placed lying down
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zato jer joj njena malena stopala
ne dopuštaju samostalno stajanje.
ne dopuštaju samostalno stajanje.
05:56
because her tiny feet
don't allow her to be freestanding.
don't allow her to be freestanding.
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06:00
She also had no face.
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Također nije imala lice.
06:02
For this reason, it was assumed
that she was a representation of fertility
that she was a representation of fertility
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Iz tih razloga, pretpostavilo se
da je bila simbol plodnosti,
da je bila simbol plodnosti,
06:06
and not a portrait of a person.
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a ne portret neke osobe.
06:09
She was an object.
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Ona je bila objekt.
U povijesti njene interpretacije,
06:11
In the history of her interpretation,
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06:13
she went from object
of ideal beauty and love
of ideal beauty and love
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prošla je put od objekta
idealne ljepote i ljubavi
idealne ljepote i ljubavi
06:16
to object of reproduction.
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do objekta reprodukcije.
06:19
I think this transition speaks more
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Mislim da ovaj prijelaz govori više
06:21
about the scholars
who have interpreted her purpose
who have interpreted her purpose
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o znanstvenicima
koji su interpretirali njenu svrhu
koji su interpretirali njenu svrhu
06:25
than the actual purpose
of the figurine herself.
of the figurine herself.
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nego o stvarnoj svrsi same figurice.
06:30
When a woman becomes pregnant,
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Kad žena zatrudni,
06:32
she leaves the realm
of men's sexual desire
of men's sexual desire
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ona napušta područje
muške seksualne želje
muške seksualne želje
06:36
and slides into her reproductive
and child-rearing role.
and child-rearing role.
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i ulazi u svoju reproduktivnu
i odgojnu ulogu.
i odgojnu ulogu.
06:40
In doing so, she also becomes
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Čineći to, ona također postaje
06:43
the property of the community,
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vlasništvo zajednice,
06:45
considered very important
but only because she's pregnant. Right?
but only because she's pregnant. Right?
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koje ju smatra veoma važnom,
ali samo zato što je trudna. Zar ne?
ali samo zato što je trudna. Zar ne?
06:50
I've taken to calling this
the Willendorf effect,
the Willendorf effect,
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Ovo nazivam vilendorfskim efektom,
kojeg opet vidimo osnaženog
u mnogim aspektima ženinog života.
u mnogim aspektima ženinog života.
06:52
and once again we see it reinforced
in many aspects of her life.
in many aspects of her life.
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Je li itko od vas ovdje
bio vidljivo trudan?
bio vidljivo trudan?
06:57
Has anyone here
ever been visibly pregnant?
ever been visibly pregnant?
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06:59
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
Da. Mnogo vas, zar ne?
07:00
Yeah. Lots of you, right?
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07:02
So how many of you ever had a stranger
touch your belly during pregnancy,
touch your belly during pregnancy,
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I kome od vas je nepoznata osoba
dodirnula trbuh tijekom trudnoće,
dodirnula trbuh tijekom trudnoće,
07:06
maybe without even asking
your permission first?
your permission first?
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možda čak i bez pitanja za vašu dozvolu?
07:09
Or told what you can and cannot eat
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Ili vam je netko govorio
što smijete jesti, a što ne,
što smijete jesti, a što ne,
07:12
by somebody who is not your doctor,
your medical care provider?
your medical care provider?
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a da nije vaš liječnik,
vaš pružatelj medicinske njege?
vaš pružatelj medicinske njege?
07:16
Or asked private questions
about your birth plan?
about your birth plan?
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Ili vas je pitao osobna pitanja
oko planova za rođenje?
oko planova za rođenje?
07:20
And then told why
those choices are all wrong?
those choices are all wrong?
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A zatim objašnjavao zašto
su ti odabiri pogrešni?
su ti odabiri pogrešni?
07:23
Yeah, me too.
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Da, i mene.
07:24
Or had a server refuse
to bring you a glass of wine?
to bring you a glass of wine?
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Ili vam je konobar odbio
donijeti čašu vina?
donijeti čašu vina?
07:29
This one might give you pause,
I know, but stay with me.
I know, but stay with me.
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Ovo će vas možda šokirati,
ali ostanite sa mnom.
ali ostanite sa mnom.
07:31
This is a huge secret.
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Ovo je velika tajna.
07:33
It is actually safe to drink
in moderation during pregnancy.
in moderation during pregnancy.
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Zapravo je skroz sigurno piti
tijekom trudnoće u umjerenim količinama.
tijekom trudnoće u umjerenim količinama.
Mnoge od nas ovo ne znaju
07:38
Many of us don't know this
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07:40
because doctors don't trust
pregnant women with this secret --
pregnant women with this secret --
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jer liječnici ne vjeruju
trudnicama u vezi toga --
trudnicama u vezi toga --
07:43
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
07:49
especially if she's less educated
or a woman of color.
or a woman of color.
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posebice ako su manje obrazovane
ili druge boje kože.
ili druge boje kože.
To nam govori
07:53
What this tells us is,
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07:55
this Willendorf effect,
it's also classist and racist.
it's also classist and racist.
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da je vilendorfski efekt također
klasistički i rasistički.
klasistički i rasistički.
Prisutan je kad Vlada podsjeća žene,
07:59
It's present when
the government reminds women
the government reminds women
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08:05
with every new anti-choice bill
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sa svakim novim zakonom koji
ne dopušta izbor pri pobačaju,
ne dopušta izbor pri pobačaju,
08:08
that the contents of her uterus
are not her own,
are not her own,
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da sadržaj njene maternice nije njen,
ili kad ginekolozi kažu:
08:11
or when an ob-gyn says,
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08:13
"While it's safe
to have sex during pregnancy,
to have sex during pregnancy,
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"Iako je seks tijekom trudnoće siguran,
ponekad ne možete znati.
08:15
sometimes you never know.
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Bolje spriječiti nego liječiti, zar ne?"
08:16
Better safe than sorry, right?"
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08:19
She's denied basic privacy
and bodily autonomy
and bodily autonomy
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Uskraćena joj je osnovna
privatnost i pravo na svoje tijelo
privatnost i pravo na svoje tijelo
pod geslom "dobre majke."
08:23
under the guise of "be a good mother."
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Ne vjerujemo joj pri donošenju
njenih vlastitih odluka.
njenih vlastitih odluka.
08:26
We don't trust her
to make her own decisions.
to make her own decisions.
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08:29
She's cute, remember?
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Ona je slatka, sjećate se?
08:33
When we tell women
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Kad kažemo ženama
da seksualni užitak -- ispričavam se.
08:36
that sexual pleasure -- excuse me.
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08:39
When we tell women that sex
isn't worth the risk during pregnancy,
isn't worth the risk during pregnancy,
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Kad kažemo ženama da seks
nije vrijedan rizika tijekom trudnoće,
nije vrijedan rizika tijekom trudnoće,
08:43
what we're telling her is that
her sexual pleasure doesn't matter.
her sexual pleasure doesn't matter.
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mi joj poručujemo da
njen seksualni užitak nije bitan.
njen seksualni užitak nije bitan.
Pa joj, zapravo, govorimo
da ona nije bitna,
da ona nije bitna,
08:48
So what we are telling her
is that she in fact doesn't matter,
is that she in fact doesn't matter,
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08:51
even though the needs of her fetus
are not at odds with her own needs.
are not at odds with her own needs.
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iako potrebe njenog fetusa nisu
u sukobu s njenim vlastitim potrebama.
u sukobu s njenim vlastitim potrebama.
08:57
So medical providers,
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Tako pružatelji medicinske pomoći,
08:59
such as the American College
of Obstetricians and Gynecologists
of Obstetricians and Gynecologists
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kao što je Američko društvo
opstetričara i ginekologa (ACOG),
opstetričara i ginekologa (ACOG),
09:02
have the opportunity to educate
about the safety of sex during pregnancy.
about the safety of sex during pregnancy.
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imaju priliku educirati o sigurnosti
spolnog odnosa tijekom trudnoće.
spolnog odnosa tijekom trudnoće.
09:07
So what do the experts say?
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I što stručnjaci kažu?
ACOG zapravo nema službene javne izjave
09:09
ACOG actually has
no public official statement
no public official statement
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09:12
about the safety of sex during pregnancy.
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o sigurnosti spolnog odnosa
tijekom trudnoće.
tijekom trudnoće.
Upute klinike Mayo su općenito pozitivne,
09:16
Guidance from the Mayo Clinic
is generally positive
is generally positive
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09:19
but presented with a caveat:
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ali prezentirane uz upozorenje:
09:21
"Although most women can safely
have sex throughout pregnancy,
have sex throughout pregnancy,
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"Iako većina žena može imati
siguran spolni odnos tijekom trudnoće,
siguran spolni odnos tijekom trudnoće,
09:24
sometimes it's best to be cautious."
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ponekad je najbolje biti oprezan."
09:26
Some women don't want
to have sex during pregnancy,
to have sex during pregnancy,
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Neke žene ne žele imati
spolni odnos tijekom trudnoće
spolni odnos tijekom trudnoće
09:30
and that's OK.
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i to je u redu.
Neke žene žele imati
spolni odnos tijekom trudnoće
spolni odnos tijekom trudnoće
09:31
Some women do want
to have sex during pregnancy,
to have sex during pregnancy,
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i to je također u redu.
09:33
and that's OK, too.
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09:35
What needs to stop
is society telling women
is society telling women
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Ono što treba prestati
je da društvo govori ženama
je da društvo govori ženama
09:38
what they can and cannot do
with their bodies.
with their bodies.
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što smiju i što ne smiju
sa svojim tijelima.
sa svojim tijelima.
09:41
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
Trudne žene nisu bezlične posude
bez identiteta za reprodukciju,
bez identiteta za reprodukciju,
09:48
Pregnant women are not faceless,
identity-less vessels of reproduction
identity-less vessels of reproduction
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09:52
who can't stand on their own two feet.
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koje ne mogu stajati na vlastitim nogama.
09:56
But the truth is, the real secret is,
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Ali istina je, prava tajna je
09:58
we tell all women that
their sexual pleasure doesn't matter.
their sexual pleasure doesn't matter.
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da govorimo svim ženama kako
njihov seksualni užitak nije važan.
njihov seksualni užitak nije važan.
Odbijamo priznati da žene koje imaju
spolni odnos s drugim ženama
spolni odnos s drugim ženama
10:02
We refuse to even acknowledge
that women who have sex with women
that women who have sex with women
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10:06
or women who don't
want children even exist.
want children even exist.
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ili žene koje ne žele
djecu, uopće postoje.
djecu, uopće postoje.
10:08
"Oh, it's just a phase ...
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"Oh, to je samo faza...
samo treba pravog muškarca
da se pronađe."
da se pronađe."
10:10
she just needs the right man
to come along."
to come along."
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10:14
Every time a woman has sex
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Svaki put kad žena želi seks
10:16
simply because it feels good,
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jednostavno zato što pruža dobar osjećaj,
10:18
it is revolutionary.
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to je revolucionarno.
10:20
She is revolutionary.
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Ona je revolucionarna.
10:22
She is pushing back
against society's insistence
against society's insistence
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Ona odgurava ustrajanja društva
10:25
that she exist simply for men's pleasure
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da postoji jednostavno radi muškog užitka
10:27
or for reproduction.
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ili reprodukcije.
10:30
A woman who prioritizes
her sexual needs is scary,
her sexual needs is scary,
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Žena koja prioritizira
svoje seksualne potrebe plaši,
svoje seksualne potrebe plaši,
10:34
because a woman who prioritizes
her sexual needs prioritizes herself.
her sexual needs prioritizes herself.
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jer žena koja daje prednost svojim
seksualnim potrebama daje prednost sebi.
seksualnim potrebama daje prednost sebi.
10:39
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
10:43
That is a woman demanding
that she be treated as an equal.
that she be treated as an equal.
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To je žena koja zahtijeva
da je se tretira jednako.
da je se tretira jednako.
10:47
That is a woman who insists
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To je žena koja inzistira
10:49
that you make room for her
at the table of power,
at the table of power,
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da napravite mjesta za nju za stolom moći
10:52
and that is the most terrifying of all
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i to je najstrašnije od svega,
10:54
because we can't make room for her
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jer ne možemo napraviti mjesta za nju
10:57
without some of us giving up
the extra space we hold.
the extra space we hold.
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bez da se neki od nas ne odreknu
dodatnog mjesta kojeg posjeduju.
dodatnog mjesta kojeg posjeduju.
11:02
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
11:08
I have one last secret for you.
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Imam još jednu posljednju tajnu za vas.
11:10
I am the mother of two boys
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Majka sam dvojice dječaka
11:12
and we could use your help.
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i dobro bi nam došla vaša pomoć.
11:15
Even though my boys hear me say regularly
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Iako me moji dečki čuju
da redovito govorim
da redovito govorim
11:20
that it's important for men
to recognize women as equals
to recognize women as equals
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kako je važno da muškarci
prepoznaju žene kao jednake
prepoznaju žene kao jednake
11:23
and they see their father modeling this,
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i vide svog oca kako
vlastitim primjerom to pokazuje,
vlastitim primjerom to pokazuje,
11:26
we need what happens in the world
to reinforce what happens in our home.
to reinforce what happens in our home.
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trebamo događaje u svijetu da
ojačamo događaje u našem domu.
ojačamo događaje u našem domu.
11:30
This is not a men's problem
or a women's problem.
or a women's problem.
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To nije muški problem ili ženski problem.
11:33
This is everyone's problem,
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To je svačiji problem
11:35
and we all play a role
in dismantling systems of inequality.
in dismantling systems of inequality.
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i svi igramo ulogu
u rastavljanju sustava nejednakosti.
u rastavljanju sustava nejednakosti.
11:40
For starters, we have got
to stop telling women
to stop telling women
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Za početak, trebamo prestati
govoriti ženama
govoriti ženama
11:43
what they can and cannot do
with their bodies.
with their bodies.
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što smiju i što ne smiju
sa svojim tijelima.
sa svojim tijelima.
11:45
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
11:50
This includes not treating pregnant women
like community property.
like community property.
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To uključuje da ne tretiramo žene
kao da su društveno vlasništvo.
kao da su društveno vlasništvo.
11:54
If you don't know her,
don't even ask to touch her belly.
don't even ask to touch her belly.
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Ako je ne poznajete, ni ne pitajte
da joj dotaknete trbuh.
da joj dotaknete trbuh.
Ne biste pitali ni ikog drugog.
11:57
You wouldn't anybody else.
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Ne govorite joj što
smije ili ne smije jesti.
smije ili ne smije jesti.
11:59
Don't tell her
what she can and cannot eat.
what she can and cannot eat.
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12:01
Don't ask her private details
about her medical decisions.
about her medical decisions.
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Ne pitajte je o osobnim detaljima
njenih medicinskih odluka.
njenih medicinskih odluka.
12:04
This also includes understanding
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Ovo također uključuje razumijevanje
12:06
that even if you are
personally against abortion,
personally against abortion,
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da iako osobno jeste protiv pobačaja,
12:09
you can still fight
for a woman's right to choose.
for a woman's right to choose.
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svejedno se možete boriti
za ženino pravo na izbor.
za ženino pravo na izbor.
Kada je riječ o jednakosti žena, one se
ne moraju međusobno suprotstavljati.
ne moraju međusobno suprotstavljati.
12:12
When it comes to women's equality,
the two need not oppose one another.
the two need not oppose one another.
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12:16
If you're somebody who has sex with women,
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Ako imate spolni odnos sa ženama,
12:19
prioritize her pleasure.
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dajte prednost njenom užitku.
12:20
If you don't know how, ask.
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Ako ne znate kako, pitajte.
Ako imate djece --
12:24
If you have children --
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12:25
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
12:27
have conversations about sex
as early as possible,
as early as possible,
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razgovarajte o spolnom odnosu što ranije,
12:31
because kids don't look up s-e-x
in the dictionary anymore.
in the dictionary anymore.
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jer djeca više ne traže
s-e-k-s u rječniku.
s-e-k-s u rječniku.
12:35
They look it up on the internet.
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Traže na internetu.
12:38
And when you're having
those conversations about sex,
those conversations about sex,
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I kad imate ove razgovore
o spolnom odnosu,
o spolnom odnosu,
ne usmjeravajte ih samo na reprodukciju.
12:41
don't center them on reproduction only.
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Ljudi imaju spolni odnos
iz mnogo razloga,
iz mnogo razloga,
12:43
People have sex for many reasons,
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12:45
some because they want a baby,
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neki jer žele dijete,
12:47
but most of us have sex
because it feels good.
because it feels good.
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ali većina nas ima spolni odnos
jer pruža dobar osjećaj.
jer pruža dobar osjećaj.
Priznajte.
12:50
Admit it.
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12:52
And regardless of whether
you have children or not,
you have children or not,
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I bez obzira na to imate li djecu ili ne,
podržite cjelovito seksualno obrazovanje
koje ne posramljuje tinejdžere.
koje ne posramljuje tinejdžere.
12:55
support comprehensive sex education
that doesn't shame our teenagers.
that doesn't shame our teenagers.
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12:59
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
Ništa pozitivno ne može izaći
iz posramljivanja tinejdžera
iz posramljivanja tinejdžera
13:08
Nothing positive comes from shaming teens
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13:10
for their sexual desires, behaviors,
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zbog njihovih seksualnih želja, ponašanja,
13:14
other than positive STD
and pregnancy tests.
and pregnancy tests.
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osim pozitivnog testa na
spolno prenosive bolesti i trudnoću.
spolno prenosive bolesti i trudnoću.
Svakog dana imamo priliku
13:18
Every single day,
we are all given the opportunity
we are all given the opportunity
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13:21
to disrupt patterns of inequality.
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da prekinemo obrasce nejednakosti.
13:24
I think we can all agree
that it's worth the trouble to do so.
that it's worth the trouble to do so.
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Mislim da se svi možemo složiti
da je vrijedno nevolja to i učiniti.
da je vrijedno nevolja to i učiniti.
Hvala vam.
13:29
Thank you.
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13:30
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Sofia Jawed-Wessel - Sex researcherSofia Jawed-Wessel's teachings utilize a sex-positive and pleasure-inclusive approach to providing medically accurate, comprehensive sexuality education.
Why you should listen
Dr. Sofia Jawed-Wessel teaches and generates new knowledge in the area of public health through scientific studies. Her research has focused on understanding and improving the sexual health of women and couples as they transition into parenthood by documenting sexual behaviors, sexual function, relationship adjustment and overall sexual changes during pregnancy and after childbirth. Jawed-Wessel's teachings utilize a sex-positive and pleasure-inclusive approach to providing medically accurate, comprehensive sexuality education to undergraduate students as well as in the local Omaha, Nebraska community. She teaches graduate level courses such as Research Methods, Health Behavior Theory, and Leadership and Advocacy. Jawed-Wessel also fights for women's rights and reproductive justice. She has provided expert testimony for the Nebraska Unicameral, the Nebraska School Board of Education and the Omaha Public School Board of Education. She has successfully argued in favor of comprehensive sex education in Omaha Public Schools and fought against restrictive anti-choice legislation in Nebraska.
Jawed-Wessel is an Assistant Professor in the School of Health, Physical Education and Recreation at the University of Nebraska at Omaha (UNO) and the Associate Director of the Midlands Sexual Health Research Collaborative. She also holds a joint appointment with the Women and Gender Studies program at UNO and a courtesy appointment in the College of Public Health at the University of Nebraska Medical Center. Jawed-Wessel holds both a Master of Science in Public Health (MPH) degree and a Doctor of Philosophy (PhD) degree in Health Behavior from the School of Public Health at Indiana University Bloomington.
Sofia Jawed-Wessel | Speaker | TED.com