TEDxMidAtlantic
Glen Henry: What I've learned about parenting as a stay-at-home dad
格倫 · 亨利: 我當留守父親學到的功課
Filmed:
Readability: 2.6
1,269,855 views
透過當父親，格倫 · 亨利獲得超強的力量。 離開他厭惡的工作和處不來的上司後，他換了要求同樣苛刻的老闆：他的孩子們。 以前他自認為懂得怎樣做留守父親，卻意識到自己一無所知。他分享學到的功課。
Glen Henry - Visual storyteller
Glen "Beleaf" Henry is a father documenting all the mistakes and joys of parenting. Full bio
Glen "Beleaf" Henry is a father documenting all the mistakes and joys of parenting. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:13
Alright, I want to tell you how I got
my superpowers through fatherhood.
my superpowers through fatherhood.
0
1103
4383
我想告訴你們我如何
透過當父親而獲得超強的力量。
透過當父親而獲得超強的力量。
00:18
I was working a job I hated, OK?
1
6833
1974
當時我厭惡我的工作。
00:20
And I don't know if anyone here
ever worked a job they hated.
ever worked a job they hated.
2
8831
2882
不知道在座有沒有人
曾經從事他們厭惡的工作。
曾經從事他們厭惡的工作。
00:23
Has anyone here
ever worked a job they hated?
ever worked a job they hated?
3
11737
2103
有沒有人曾經從事厭惡的工作？
00:25
(Laughter)
4
13864
1001
（笑聲）
00:26
OK, good, because I'm not alone
5
14889
1696
好，很好，因為我並不孤單，
00:28
and I have something to confess;
I don't want you guys to judge me.
I don't want you guys to judge me.
6
16609
3143
我有事要坦白，不想讓你們論斷我。
這裡像是個安全的地方。
這地方安全嗎？
這地方安全嗎？
00:31
This feels like a safe space,
is it a safe space?
is it a safe space?
7
19776
2357
觀眾：是的。
亨利：好，當時我厭惡我的工作，
00:34
Audience: Yes.
8
22157
1158
00:35
Glen Henry: OK, I was working
the job I hated,
the job I hated,
9
23339
2166
我和上司處不來。
00:37
my manager and I were not getting along.
10
25529
1922
我坐在車裡，看著後視鏡，
00:39
I was sitting in my car,
looking in the rearview mirror,
looking in the rearview mirror,
11
27475
2668
00:42
trying to figure out
which friend I could call
which friend I could call
12
30167
3545
試圖弄清楚我能叫哪個朋友
打電話恐嚇有炸彈，
00:45
to call in a bomb threat,
13
33736
1199
00:46
so I didn't have to go
back in the building.
back in the building.
14
34959
2063
那我就不必再回到辦公室。
（笑聲）
00:49
(Laughter)
15
37046
1001
00:50
OK, this was having
a lot of issues for me,
a lot of issues for me,
16
38071
2967
對我來說問題很多，
00:53
I was having a lot of issues at my job
17
41062
1824
我在工作中遇到很多問題，
每天下班回家，
00:54
and I'd come home every day from work
18
42910
1762
妻子會問我同樣的問題。
00:56
and my wife would ask me
the same question.
the same question.
19
44696
2515
00:59
And when you hate your job,
20
47458
1310
當你厭惡你的工作時，
這是被問的最糟糕問題。
這是被問的最糟糕問題。
01:00
this is the worst question
anyone could ask you.
anyone could ask you.
21
48792
2507
01:03
She'd say, "Hey babe, how was your day?"
22
51323
2960
她會問：「嘿，寶貝，
今天過得怎麼樣？」
今天過得怎麼樣？」
01:06
(Laughter)
23
54307
1738
（笑聲）
01:08
And I'd say,
24
56069
1168
我會說：「你怎麼老是說同樣的話？」
01:09
"Why you bringing up old stuff?"
25
57261
1570
（笑聲）
01:10
(Laughter)
26
58855
1001
我剛剛離開，不願再想到那個地方。
（註：他的辦公室）
（註：他的辦公室）
01:11
I just left it, I don't want
to think about that place again.
to think about that place again.
27
59880
2872
01:15
See, we were spending about
40 percent of my income on childcare.
40 percent of my income on childcare.
28
63879
3412
我的收入約有 40％ 用在托兒上。
01:19
We had one child.
29
67315
1289
那時我們有一個孩子，
01:21
And we were pregnant
with our second child.
with our second child.
30
69354
2310
懷了第二個。
01:23
And we were trying to figure out
how we were going to fix this whole thing
how we were going to fix this whole thing
31
71688
3500
我們試圖弄清楚如何解決錢的問題。
01:27
of this money situation, and she said,
32
75212
1825
她說：「嘿，寶貝，我有個好主意。」
01:29
"Hey, babe, I've got a great idea."
33
77061
2436
01:31
I said, "What's up?"
34
79521
1334
我說：「說來聽聽。」
她說：「我認為
你會是個很棒的留守父親。」
你會是個很棒的留守父親。」
01:32
She said, "I think you'd be
a great stay-at-home dad."
a great stay-at-home dad."
35
80879
2603
01:35
(Laughter)
36
83506
1706
（笑聲）
01:37
I was like, "Why would you say
something like that?"
something like that?"
37
85236
2436
我回她：「你為什麼這樣說？」
01:39
(Laughter)
38
87696
1001
（笑聲）
01:40
She said, "Because babies like you."
39
88721
2245
她說：「因為寶寶喜歡你。」
01:42
(Laughter)
40
90990
1508
（笑聲）
01:44
I was like, "No, they don't."
41
92522
1389
我說：「不，他們不喜歡。」
01:45
She was like, "No, they do like you.
42
93935
1738
她說：「錯了，他們喜歡你。
01:47
And I think it would be great
43
95697
1658
我認為這將會很棒，
01:49
for our children to see what love
looks like, coming from a father."
looks like, coming from a father."
44
97379
3357
讓我們的孩子享受父愛會很棒。」
01:54
I was like, OK.
45
102143
1420
我接受了。
01:55
(Laughter)
46
103587
2460
（笑聲）
01:58
So, I had issues with this,
47
106071
2556
我有這問題，
02:00
because I haven't seen a lot
of stay-at-home dads before
of stay-at-home dads before
48
108651
2651
因為我以前沒見過幾個留守的爸爸，
02:03
and I thought men would judge me,
so get this, I said this --
so get this, I said this --
49
111326
3219
我以為男人會評判我，聽著，
02:06
please don't be offended -- I said,
50
114569
2500
──請不要被冒犯──我說：
02:09
"Uh, you know, that sounds boring.
51
117093
2334
「呃，那聽起來很無聊。
02:11
And what do stay-at-home moms
do all day, anyway?"
do all day, anyway?"
52
119744
3111
而且，到底全職媽媽整天做些什麼？」
02:14
Audience: Ooh!
53
122879
3238
觀眾：哦！
02:18
She smiled at me a smile
only a woman full of knowledge can smile
only a woman full of knowledge can smile
54
126141
4237
她微笑看著我，只有
充滿智慧的女人才有的那種微笑，
充滿智慧的女人才有的那種微笑，
02:22
(Laughter)
55
130402
1342
（笑聲）
02:23
and said, "Well, this
should be easy for you.
should be easy for you.
56
131768
2865
並說：「這對你來說應該很容易，
02:26
And it will save us some money,
it seems like a no-brainer."
it seems like a no-brainer."
57
134657
2825
還會為我們省些錢，
看起來輕而易舉。」
看起來輕而易舉。」
02:29
(Laughter)
58
137506
1045
（笑聲）
02:30
Fast-forward six months,
59
138575
1629
快轉六個月，
02:32
I'd been a stay-at-home dad
for about a week.
for about a week.
60
140228
2212
我在家裡待了約一星期。
02:34
(Laughter)
61
142464
1232
（笑聲）
02:35
I was standing in my bathroom,
looking into the mirror
looking into the mirror
62
143720
3341
我站在浴室裡，望著鏡子……
02:39
(Laughter)
63
147085
1571
（笑聲）
02:40
crying, tears --
64
148680
1151
哭泣，眼淚……
02:41
(Laughter)
65
149855
1793
（笑聲）
02:43
running all down my face.
66
151672
1667
不停地流下來。
02:45
(Laughter)
67
153363
1568
（笑聲）
02:47
My one-and-a-half-year-old
was banging on the bathroom door --
was banging on the bathroom door --
68
155252
3301
我一歲半的孩子猛敲浴室的門，
02:50
because I locked them out, you know --
69
158577
1855
因為我鎖了門，隔開他們。
02:52
(Laughter)
70
160456
1001
（笑聲）
02:53
crying, tears running down his face.
71
161481
2105
他在哭泣著，淚流滿面。
02:56
And my newborn was in the bassinet,
crying, tears running down his face.
crying, tears running down his face.
72
164252
4214
新生嬰兒在搖籃裡哭著，淚流滿面。
03:00
I looked at myself
in the mirror, and I said ...
in the mirror, and I said ...
73
168490
3293
我看著鏡子裡的自己，說：
03:03
"Which friend can you call
to call in a bomb threat?
to call in a bomb threat?
74
171807
2495
「能打電話給哪位朋友通報有炸彈？
03:06
We've got to get out of here."
75
174326
1453
我們必須逃離這裡！」
03:07
(Laughter)
76
175803
2115
（笑聲）
03:09
See, I had traded my manager
for my children.
for my children.
77
177942
3207
我把上司換為孩子，
03:13
I didn't know what I got myself into.
78
181173
1799
不知道自己陷入了什麼樣的境地。
03:14
I thought I knew everything
about being a stay-at-home parent,
about being a stay-at-home parent,
79
182996
3382
我自以為懂得怎麼做個留守家長，
03:18
and in fact, I knew nothing at all.
80
186402
2066
事實上，我什麼都不懂。
03:21
Because even though my manager was --
81
189099
2683
因為即使我的經理──
03:23
well, at least my children
were a lot cuter than my manager,
were a lot cuter than my manager,
82
191806
3341
至少我的孩子比經理可愛多了──
03:27
they were just as demanding.
83
195171
1937
他們同樣苛刻。
03:29
(Video) Child: Wipe my butt.
84
197132
2683
（影片）小孩：擦我的屁股。
03:31
Papa, wipe my butt.
85
199839
2238
爸爸，擦我的屁股。
03:34
(Laughter)
86
202101
1206
（笑聲）
03:35
Wipe my butt.
87
203331
2778
擦我的屁股。
03:38
(Laughter)
88
206133
6992
（笑聲）
03:45
GH: What had I gotten myself into?
89
213744
2159
亨利：我淪落到什麼境地？
03:47
I thought I knew everything
about being a stay-at-home parent --
about being a stay-at-home parent --
90
215927
3000
我自以為完全懂得
怎樣當個留守家長，
怎樣當個留守家長，
03:50
in fact, I knew nothing.
91
218951
1199
事實上，我什麼都不懂。
03:52
I thought that all I had to do
was feed them,
was feed them,
92
220174
2476
我以為只要餵他們、
03:54
change their diapers, and they'd be fine.
93
222674
2126
換尿布，就沒事了。
03:56
Like, I really thought that's it.
94
224824
2572
我真的以為就那樣。
03:59
"Sesame Street" on TV,
keep them distracted,
keep them distracted,
95
227420
2643
電視上的「芝麻街」
攫取他們的注意力，
攫取他們的注意力，
04:02
apple sauce in a bowl,
milk in a bottle, they'd be fine.
milk in a bottle, they'd be fine.
96
230087
2943
給一碗蘋果醬、一瓶牛奶，
他們就妥當了。
他們就妥當了。
04:05
But if you leave children alone,
97
233054
2151
但是如果你讓孩子獨處，
04:07
they'll get into
just a little bit of mischief.
just a little bit of mischief.
98
235229
2389
他們就會稍稍惡作劇。
04:09
(Video) Child: Hi.
99
237642
1820
（影片）孩子：嗨。
04:12
GH: Where is the powder?
100
240951
1600
亨利：爽身粉在哪裡？
04:15
Child: I don't know.
101
243403
1682
孩子：我不知道。
04:17
GH: Well, where did you put it,
where did it --
where did it --
102
245109
3485
亨利：你放哪兒去了，在哪裡 ，
04:21
Who did it?
103
249187
1176
誰幹的？
04:22
Child 1: No, you did it!
Child 2: No, you did it!
Child 2: No, you did it!
104
250387
2912
孩子1：不是我，是你幹的！
孩子2：不是我，是你幹的！
孩子2：不是我，是你幹的！
04:25
Child 1: No, you did it!
Child 2: No, you did it!
Child 2: No, you did it!
105
253323
3040
孩子1：不是我，是你幹的！
孩子2：不是我，是你幹的！
孩子2：不是我，是你幹的！
04:28
(Laughter)
106
256387
2127
（笑聲）
04:30
GH: You know what else I thought I knew
about being a stay-at-home parent?
about being a stay-at-home parent?
107
258538
3611
亨利：可知道其他的
我自以為明白的育兒做法嗎？
我自以為明白的育兒做法嗎？
04:34
I thought that all I had to do
was take them to the park once a week,
was take them to the park once a week,
108
262173
3578
我以為只需每週帶他們去公園一次，
04:37
because if I took them to the park
once a week, they'd be fine.
once a week, they'd be fine.
109
265775
3834
每週帶他們去公園一次就夠了。
04:41
In fact, I knew nothing at all.
110
269633
1761
事實上，我什麼也不懂。
04:43
OK.
111
271720
1159
好。
04:44
If you take kids to park every day
then that means they get dirty every day.
then that means they get dirty every day.
112
272903
4111
如果你每天帶孩子去公園，
就意味著他們每天都會弄髒。
就意味著他們每天都會弄髒。
04:49
If they got dirty every day,
they need baths every day,
they need baths every day,
113
277038
2611
如果他們每天都很弄髒，
他們每天都需要洗澡，
他們每天都需要洗澡，
04:51
if they got baths every day --
114
279673
2364
如果他們每天都洗澡──
04:54
I just don't think you understand, see,
having two kids under two,
having two kids under two,
115
282061
3119
我不認為你們明白，
有兩個兩歲以下的孩子，
有兩個兩歲以下的孩子，
04:57
you end up changing
over 20 dirty diapers a day, OK.
over 20 dirty diapers a day, OK.
116
285204
3909
你每天得要更換 20 片髒尿布。
05:01
And if you give them a bath,
that's just more nakedness.
that's just more nakedness.
117
289498
2976
如果為他們洗澡，
脫掉尿布的次數就更多，
脫掉尿布的次數就更多，
05:04
(Laughter)
118
292498
1301
（笑聲）
05:05
And a higher probability
of getting peed on,
of getting peed on,
119
293823
2143
並且更可能被噴到尿。
05:07
and no one likes getting peed on,
even if it's from a baby.
even if it's from a baby.
120
295990
2997
即使是「嬰兒」噴的尿也沒人會喜歡。
05:11
(Laughter)
121
299011
1157
（笑聲）
05:12
But I read this article by Father Lee
122
300192
2152
但是我讀過李神父的文章，
05:14
which cites a survey done by two
detergent companies, Omo and Persil.
detergent companies, Omo and Persil.
123
302368
4325
他引用了 Omo 和 Persil
這兩家洗衣精公司的調查。
這兩家洗衣精公司的調查。
05:18
And they did this study and it said,
that at two hours a day,
that at two hours a day,
124
306717
2995
研究調查說：就算囚犯每天
只得到短短兩小時的放風時間，
只得到短短兩小時的放風時間，
05:21
prisoners get more
outside time than children.
outside time than children.
125
309736
2888
那還是比孩子得到的長。
05:25
That convicted me and so we went outside.
126
313362
3349
那定了我的罪，我們只好到室外放風。
05:28
(Video) (Music)
127
316735
1150
（影片）（音樂）
05:38
(Laughter)
128
326465
1657
（笑聲）
05:41
GH: See, I knew nothing
about being a stay-at-home parent,
about being a stay-at-home parent,
129
329077
2829
亨利：看，我根本不知道
怎麼當個留守家長。
怎麼當個留守家長。
05:43
and once I embraced the fact
that I knew nothing,
that I knew nothing,
130
331930
2319
一旦接受了我什麼都不懂的事實，
我開始向我的新上司學習。
05:46
I began to learn from my new managers.
131
334273
1818
05:48
And I always was told
132
336115
1197
我總是被告知
05:49
that as a stay-at-home parent,
you get no sleep.
you get no sleep.
133
337336
3842
作為在留守家長，你沒得睡。
05:53
Or as a parent in general,
you get no sleep.
you get no sleep.
134
341202
2081
或者作為一般的家長，你沒得睡。
但事實並非如此，
因為他們睡的時候你也睡，
因為他們睡的時候你也睡，
05:55
But that's not true,
because if you sleep when they do,
because if you sleep when they do,
135
343307
2889
05:58
you actually can get some sleep.
136
346220
1603
實際上你可以睡一會兒。
05:59
(Laughter)
137
347847
1839
（笑聲）
06:02
You know what else I thought
as a stay-at-home parent?
as a stay-at-home parent?
138
350376
2825
可知道作為留守家長
我還有什麼其他的想法嗎？
我還有什麼其他的想法嗎？
06:05
I though I knew that the best way
to teach kids right from wrong
to teach kids right from wrong
139
353225
3238
我以為教孩子們對錯的最好方式
06:08
was to discipline them,
140
356487
1154
就是管教他們，
06:09
because that would make sure
they understood right from wrong,
they understood right from wrong,
141
357665
2936
因為這會確保他們明白對錯，
06:12
the pain, the fear --
that would teach them.
that would teach them.
142
360625
2055
痛苦、恐懼能教會他們。
06:14
But the truth is, the best way to teach
my children right from wrong
my children right from wrong
143
362704
3675
但事實上教育我孩子是非的最好方法
06:18
is to teach them.
144
366403
1156
是教導他們。
06:19
Take out a whiteboard and draw pictures
and make connections
and make connections
145
367583
2826
拿出白板，繪製圖片，
建立他們能夠理解的聯繫。
06:22
that they can understand.
146
370433
1461
06:23
That was the best way.
147
371918
1467
這是最好的方法。
06:26
A lot of these images you're seeing
are coming from my YouTube channel,
are coming from my YouTube channel,
148
374868
3342
很多你們看到影像來自我的
YouTube 頻道「信仰父親」。
YouTube 頻道「信仰父親」。
06:30
"Beleaf in Fatherhood."
149
378234
1183
我記錄了留守父母的不幸經歷。
06:31
I document the misadventures
of being a stay-at-home dad.
of being a stay-at-home dad.
150
379441
2708
那並不完美，只表明我在努力。
06:34
And it's not perfect,
it's just showing that I'm trying.
it's just showing that I'm trying.
151
382173
3025
06:37
And I'm not trying to be an example
152
385222
1739
我不想成為範例，
06:38
but just proof that it's possible
for whoever else is doing this.
for whoever else is doing this.
153
386985
3227
而是證明任何人都做得到。
06:43
You know what I also knew
about being a stay-at-home parent?
about being a stay-at-home parent?
154
391204
3087
作為留守家長，我還知道什麼呢？
06:46
I knew that children needed love,
155
394315
1762
我知道孩子需要愛，
06:48
but I just didn't know
what love looked like.
what love looked like.
156
396101
2143
但我不知道愛長什麼樣子。
06:50
(Video) (Music)
157
398268
2779
（影片）（音樂）
06:57
GH: It turns out putting
diapers on your head
diapers on your head
158
405932
2174
亨利：事實證明，頭戴尿布，
07:00
and play-fighting
until the kids fall asleep
until the kids fall asleep
159
408130
2088
打打鬧鬧，玩到孩子們入睡為止，
07:02
is a great way to love your kids.
160
410242
1594
是愛你孩子的好方法。
07:04
So, I was learning a lot,
161
412942
2707
我學了很多，
07:07
but it's not all fun and boogers, is it?
162
415673
1991
但不全是樂趣和鼻屎。
07:09
(Laughter)
163
417688
2001
（笑聲）
07:11
I asked a group of stay-at-home parents
what's the hardest thing,
what's the hardest thing,
164
419713
3119
我問一群留守家長什麼最難、
最被他們低估。
最被他們低估。
07:14
the thing they underestimated most
about being stay-at-home parents,
about being stay-at-home parents,
165
422856
3221
他們說最被低估的其中一件是孤獨，
07:18
and they said that the loneliness
was one of those things.
was one of those things.
166
426101
2746
沒有別人可以交談，
07:20
Not having someone else to talk to,
feeling inadequate,
feeling inadequate,
167
428871
2627
因為想要有自己的時間
而感到自私、不適任。
而感到自私、不適任。
07:23
feeling selfish for wanting me-time.
168
431522
1928
07:26
And nursery rhymes suck.
169
434030
2039
童謠也很糟糕。
07:28
(Laughter)
170
436418
1397
（笑聲）
07:29
Like, really, "Mary Had a Little Lamb"
is cool the first couple of times,
is cool the first couple of times,
171
437839
3484
真的，聽「瑪麗有隻小綿羊」的
前幾遍還好，
前幾遍還好，
07:33
but after all these years on repeat,
172
441347
2477
但經過這麼多年的重複，
07:35
you wonder why Mary
just ain't make herself a wool skirt
just ain't make herself a wool skirt
173
443848
2757
你想知道為什麼瑪麗不乾脆
為自己做件羊毛裙子和羊排，
為自己做件羊毛裙子和羊排，
07:38
and have lamb chops,
you know what I'm saying?
you know what I'm saying?
174
446629
2232
知道我的意思吧？
07:40
(Laughter)
175
448885
1533
（笑聲）
07:42
The one thing I underestimated most
was the emotional fatigue.
was the emotional fatigue.
176
450442
3095
我最低估的一件事是情緒疲勞。
07:45
See, I was an artist,
so I'd write songs for other artists.
so I'd write songs for other artists.
177
453561
3064
我是個藝術家，為其他藝術家寫歌。
07:48
Because that's how I made money from home.
178
456649
2942
因為那是我在家賺錢的方式。
07:51
But when you're with your kids all day,
you become emotionally tired.
you become emotionally tired.
179
459615
3515
但是整天和孩子在一起，
你會總是感到很累。
你會總是感到很累。
07:55
And that means all your creativity
comes from your emotions,
comes from your emotions,
180
463575
2898
你所有的創造力來自你的情感，
07:58
so you’re just tapped out, you're done.
181
466497
1992
一旦情感被掏空，你就完了。
08:00
So you become done with time.
182
468513
3054
你隨著時間的推移而逐漸掏空。
午睡時間、時間表、紀律反省時間、
08:04
Nap time, time-tables, time-out,
time like to cook,
time like to cook,
183
472366
3033
做飯的時間，各類型的時間，
時間都被用掉了，
時間都被用掉了，
08:07
with all types of time, you're just done.
184
475423
2452
08:09
You had no time for anything.
185
477899
1571
你沒有時間做任何事情。
08:11
And some people are done with their spouse
as a stay-at-home parent.
as a stay-at-home parent.
186
479494
3675
有些人因為天天留守在家
而與配偶分手，
而與配偶分手，
08:15
Because the spouse just doesn't get it.
187
483193
2007
因為配偶就是不明白。
08:18
I was talking to a friend
of mine, he said,
of mine, he said,
188
486113
2833
我曾和一位朋友交談，他說：
08:20
"Man, I come home from work,
189
488970
2575
「天啊，我下班回家，
08:23
drawers are open, clothes
hanging outside the drawers,
hanging outside the drawers,
190
491569
3508
抽屜開著，衣服掛在抽屜外面，
08:27
the kids are still in their pajamas ...
191
495101
2127
孩子們仍然穿著睡衣......
08:29
And it can't be that hard to have
dinner ready when I get home, right?"
dinner ready when I get home, right?"
192
497252
3359
當我回到家時
晚餐已經準備好，不難吧？」
晚餐已經準備好，不難吧？」
08:32
(Laughter)
193
500635
1937
（笑聲）
08:34
Start to freak out,
you know what I'm saying?
you know what I'm saying?
194
502596
2127
開始嚇壞我了，知道我在說什麼吧？
08:36
(Laughter)
195
504747
1436
（笑聲）
08:38
He was trying to confide in me --
196
506207
2127
他試圖向我傾訴──
08:40
(Laughter)
197
508358
1165
（笑聲）
08:41
I said, "You have no idea
what you're talking about."
what you're talking about."
198
509547
2477
我說：「老兄，你不知所云。
08:44
(Laughter)
199
512048
2624
（笑聲）
08:46
She wakes up every morning,
tired from the night before,
tired from the night before,
200
514696
2643
她每天早上醒來，
前晚的疲累還沒恢復，
前晚的疲累還沒恢復，
08:49
baby attached to her breast,
dropping this kid off at school,
dropping this kid off at school,
201
517363
2905
懷抱著嬰兒，送這個孩子上學，
帶那個去公園。
帶那個去公園。
08:52
and taking this one to the park.
202
520292
1539
待洗的衣服堆滿滿，
08:53
Laundry piles up to the skies,
203
521855
1477
她與你媽媽講了一個小時電話，
天知道講了些什麼，
天知道講了些什麼，
08:55
he has a conversation on the phone
for an hour with your mom
for an hour with your mom
204
523356
2810
08:58
about God knows what,
205
526190
1182
遛你要養的狗……
08:59
takes the dog you wanted for a walk ...
206
527396
1983
（笑聲）
09:01
(Laughter)
207
529403
1001
09:02
And nobody died, bro.
208
530428
2238
兄弟，沒有人死亡。
09:05
She kept your kids alive
all day, that's hard."
all day, that's hard."
209
533022
2707
她讓你的孩子活了一整天，這很難。」
09:07
(Laughter)
210
535753
2332
（笑聲）
09:10
I have become an advocate
for stay-at-home parents.
for stay-at-home parents.
211
538109
3079
我已經成為留守家長的倡導者。
09:13
Why?
212
541502
1158
為什麼？
09:14
Because finally, I was
standing in their shoes.
standing in their shoes.
213
542684
2666
因為到頭來，我設身處地。
09:17
Because when you're standing
in someone else's shoes,
in someone else's shoes,
214
545898
2477
因為當你設身處地，
你會從不同的角度看待世界。
你會從不同的角度看待世界。
09:20
you see the world
from a different perspective.
from a different perspective.
215
548399
2267
當你走著新的步伐，
感覺像嬰兒學步，搖擺不定。
感覺像嬰兒學步，搖擺不定。
09:22
And when you start to take steps,
it feels like baby steps, wobbling.
it feels like baby steps, wobbling.
216
550680
3583
09:26
But then they turn into stomps.
217
554633
2190
但隨後變成了跺腳。
09:28
And you start making footprints
for the next generation to walk in.
for the next generation to walk in.
218
556847
3336
你開始為下一代鋪路。
09:33
See, we're walking
on a certain path, as parents.
on a certain path, as parents.
219
561085
2492
我們走在父母這條特定的道路上，
09:35
We're all in this together.
220
563601
1309
我們一起，沒人能否認
09:36
No one can deny that family
is one of the biggest foundations
is one of the biggest foundations
221
564934
2906
家人是每個人人生最大的基石之一。
09:39
in anyone's life.
222
567864
1158
09:41
And we're all walking on this path,
223
569046
1686
我們都走在這條路上，
09:42
and we're pulling these thickets
out of the way, and these thorns,
out of the way, and these thorns,
224
570756
3185
我們正把這些灌木叢、荊棘拽出來，
09:46
making it easier for the ones
coming after us.
coming after us.
225
574346
2160
讓以後的人走得更容易。
事實證明，養兒育女與造景相關。
09:48
It turns out, parenting
has a lot more to do with landscaping.
has a lot more to do with landscaping.
226
576530
4031
09:53
And learning.
227
581204
1150
還有學習多於教導。
09:54
More than teaching.
228
582931
1200
09:58
And the best thing to do
is to show up for class.
is to show up for class.
229
586201
2595
最好的辦法是出席學習。
10:01
Be present is what I learned
as a stay-at-home dad.
as a stay-at-home dad.
230
589622
3706
「出席，不缺席」
是我當留守父親學到的東西。
是我當留守父親學到的東西。
10:06
And let your presence be a gift.
231
594190
2158
讓你的出席成為禮物。
10:08
(Video) Shh.
232
596372
1150
（影片）噓。
10:09
(Door unlocking)
233
597952
3722
（門鎖開了）
10:15
Hi!
234
603306
1150
嗨！
10:16
(Children giggling)
235
604792
2206
（孩子咯咯笑）
10:19
(Laughter)
236
607022
3950
（笑聲）
10:22
GH: This was me, coming home
from tour one day.
from tour one day.
237
610996
2328
亨利：這是我，有一天從巡演回家。
10:25
I thought that the father
was supposed to pursue the child.
was supposed to pursue the child.
238
613769
3667
我原以為父親應該追著孩子。
10:29
But it turns out the father
makes himself present.
makes himself present.
239
617785
2889
但事實證明，父親的出席，
10:33
And the children run after him.
240
621144
2261
使孩子們追著他跑。
10:35
And that right there is a superpower.
241
623429
2533
那就是超強的力量。
10:38
And that right there,
my friends, is everything.
my friends, is everything.
242
626683
2770
我的朋友，那就是一切。
10:41
Thank you.
243
629477
1151
謝謝。
10:42
(Applause)
244
630652
2340
（掌聲）
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Glen Henry - Visual storytellerGlen "Beleaf" Henry is a father documenting all the mistakes and joys of parenting.
Why you should listen
Striving to strengthen families before they start, Glen "Beleaf" Henry is giving a tangible look at the often closed off life of black families. Usually sipping toddler tears and hooking his children up to lie detector tests, his antics are hilariously heartwarming and providing value to many people that call the internet their safe space.
Glen Henry | Speaker | TED.com