Christen Reighter: I don't want children -- stop telling me I'll change my mind
كرستين ريتر: لاأرغب بالأطفال--توقفوا عن إخباري بأنني سأغير رأيي
Christen Reighter writes and performs as a poet and essayist, focusing primarily on social justice issues. Full bio
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that were placed on me very early.
supposed to have children,
that adults spoke to me
in the context of "when."
were always presented to me
كانت دائمًا تُعرض علي
like someone else's dream.
هذا هو حلم شخص آخر
always understood about myself
to explain this,
their roles and my values,
at the absurdities of children.
سخافات الأطفال
things like that to me my whole life.
can turn intrusive fast.
إلى تطفلية بسرعة.
when discussing childlessness,
عدم الإنجاب
a woman may have
not self-prioritizing.
ليست بسبب تفضيل الذات
to publicly vilify women as such,
اجتماعيًا،
have made it into the social narrative.
من العرف الاجتماعي
about the inevitability of maternity,
that women consider,
الاعتبار
hereditary illness,
life-saving medication
415,000 children
in the United States at any given time.
things of this magnitude to chance,
إلى الحظ
with undergoing a tubal ligation,
for getting your tubes tied.
العملية
has always been taught to me,
who didn't want children were so rare,
نادرات،
one in five American women
أمريكيات
the more disheartened I became.
for women to exhaust their finances
over many years,
لعدة سنوات
that they just gave up.
were often condescending
مايتعالون
with a child."
who went to go get this procedure,
ذهبن لإجراء هذه العملية
for getting this kind of surgery were,
النوع من الجراحة هذه هي
acting of your own accord,"
all of these legal requirements
القانونية هذه كلها
in the exam room
to that first appointment.
الأول
every piece of evidence
of birth in that file.
to these doctoral programs,
has this kind of business,"
من الأعمال ..."
on this for months.
about it, all the risks."
that this was not a whim,
الدكتور بأن هذا ليس نزوة
looking to go out and party
تودّ الذهاب إلى حفلة
integral to who I was.
on how it all worked, but ...
عمل هذا ولكن....
given to me started to feel agenda'd,
بدأت أشعر أنها خطة عمل
and inflated statistics.
my situation better,
asking questions to try to trip me up.
بي
being cross-examined.
feel about all of this?"
the same man for five years,
I make for my body."
what happens in the future,
wants children?"
الإنجاب
how to react to that,
to disregard everything I believe
أتجاهل كل شيء أؤمن به
has always been first date conversation.
لأول موعد غرامي
come to regret this" ...
...."
decision back then,
a single path to parenthood.
قطعت طريقًا واحدًا للأمومة
to form family anyway."
على أية حال
deal with that any day
or was prepared to care for.
are not to be gambled with.
was going to approve this procedure,
العملية،
called medical paternalism,
as my well-informed provider,
of my best interest,
as the patient, want or believe.
with my potential surgeon,
describe me as a little girl.
to each one of these providers
questions and statements.
for objectivity and support
disrespect me repeatedly.
يقللون احترامهم معي مرارًا وتكرارًا
that I had to go to.
اضطررت للذهاب إليها
medical professionals in the same hour.
في الساعة نفسها
felt more like the door to a clown car.
لسيارة مهرج
to infect me with smallpox
obtain birth control.
to allow the procedure.
واحدًا منهم ليسمح بالعملية
signing the consent forms
للتوقيع على نموذج الموافقة
and tying up loose ends ...
his head in disapproval.
clings to this role
أكانوا مقدمي الرعاية الطبية
to separate me being a woman
على فصل كوني امرأة
that having children
not the definition.
by whether or not she has a child,
أطفالًا أم لا
of her entire identity
to create life,
الحياة،
is a means to an end.
تلك الغاية.
that society places on us
المجتمع فيها
that comes with them,
to these standards ...
cast aside to accept them?
to happiness and fulfillment.
to self-determination.
to embrace or forego motherhood
أو الامتناع عنها
to your worthiness or identity
a choice behind maternity,
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Christen Reighter - Poet, essayistChristen Reighter writes and performs as a poet and essayist, focusing primarily on social justice issues.
Why you should listen
Christen Reighter's primary advocacy platform is for the childfree-choice. She often writes and speaks out about her experience obtaining elective sterilization at age 22, including how she encountered and confronted harassing societal prejudice, condescending medical paternalism, and civil rights violations. Her other writing and advocacy work includes LGBTQIA+ rights, gender equality, sex-positivity, women's issues (including sexual assault) and mental health issues and recovery.
Reighter is also an award-winning spoken word artist. she has competed and performed across the country and in international competitions such "Brave New Voices" on on HBO.
Originally born and raised in Texas, Reighter now lives happily in beautiful Colorado with her partner and their three rambunctious cats, and she currently is finishing her MA in clinical mental health counseling.
Christen Reighter | Speaker | TED.com