Christen Reighter: I don't want children -- stop telling me I'll change my mind
Christen Reighter: Jag vill inte skaffa barn - sluta säga att jag kommer att ångra mig
Christen Reighter writes and performs as a poet and essayist, focusing primarily on social justice issues. Full bio
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that were placed on me very early.
vilka förväntningar som fanns på mig.
supposed to have children,
that adults spoke to me
in the context of "when."
were always presented to me
av den amerikanska drömmen,
like someone else's dream.
som någon annans dröm.
always understood about myself
to explain this,
their roles and my values,
med mina värderingar,
at the absurdities of children.
då de hör ett barns absurda tankar.
things like that to me my whole life.
can turn intrusive fast.
kan snabbt bli påträngande.
when discussing childlessness,
när man diskuterar barnlöshet,
a woman may have
varför en kvinna
not self-prioritizing.
att prioritera sig själv.
to publicly vilify women as such,
att baktala kvinnor offentligt för detta,
have made it into the social narrative.
tillhör normen.
about the inevitability of maternity,
var något oundvikligt,
that women consider,
hereditary illness,
en ärftlig sjukdom,
life-saving medication
415,000 children
in the United States at any given time.
things of this magnitude to chance,
with undergoing a tubal ligation,
for getting your tubes tied.
att knipsa av äggledarna.
risker och statistik.
has always been taught to me,
who didn't want children were so rare,
one in five American women
att en av fem kvinnor i USA
vissa av slump.
the more disheartened I became.
desto mer nedslagen blev jag.
for women to exhaust their finances
att kvinnors ekonomi rämnade
over many years,
that they just gave up.
were often condescending
ofta var nedlåtande
with a child."
och har ett barn."
who went to go get this procedure,
som ville genomföra ingreppet,
for getting this kind of surgery were,
för att få denna typ av operation var,
acting of your own accord,"
påverkad av någon,"
all of these legal requirements
att jag uppfyllde alla dessa lagkrav
in the exam room
i undersökningsrummet
to that first appointment.
så professionellt vid första mötet.
every piece of evidence
alla bevis han ville ha
of birth in that file.
ett personnummer i journalen.
to these doctoral programs,
doktorandprogram,
has this kind of business,"
av verksamhet, "
on this for months.
i ingreppet i månader.
about it, all the risks."
that this was not a whim,
att detta inte var ett infall,
looking to go out and party
integral to who I was.
on how it all worked, but ...
hur allt fungerade, men ...
given to me started to feel agenda'd,
jag fick kännas vinklad,
and inflated statistics.
och uppblåst statistik.
my situation better,
att de förstod min situation,
asking questions to try to trip me up.
de ställde frågor för att sätta dit mig.
being cross-examined.
feel about all of this?"
the same man for five years,
med samme man i fem år,
I make for my body."
som rör min kropp."
what happens in the future,
wants children?"
how to react to that,
to disregard everything I believe
allt jag trodde på,
han inte oroa sig för.
has always been first date conversation.
jag berättar om på en date.
come to regret this" ...
decision back then,
a single path to parenthood.
to form family anyway."
med biologi att göra."
deal with that any day
hantera det i framtiden
or was prepared to care for.
are not to be gambled with.
was going to approve this procedure,
kommer att godkänna detta ingrepp,
called medical paternalism,
medicinsk paternalism,
as my well-informed provider,
om vad som är mitt bästa,
of my best interest,
as the patient, want or believe.
vad jag som patient önskar eller tror på.
att lämna rummet
with my potential surgeon,
med min potentiella kirurg,
describe me as a little girl.
referera till mig som en liten flicka.
to each one of these providers
och besvarade var och en
questions and statements.
for objectivity and support
en objektiv bedömning och stöd
disrespect me repeatedly.
that I had to go to.
medical professionals in the same hour.
vårdgivare under en enda timme.
felt more like the door to a clown car.
to infect me with smallpox
att ge mig smittkoppor
obtain birth control.
to allow the procedure.
en av dom att tillåta ingreppet.
signing the consent forms
undertecknade samtyckesformuläret
and tying up loose ends ...
his head in disapproval.
för att visa sitt missnöje.
clings to this role
vid denna inställning
to separate me being a woman
att skilja mellan att jag var en kvinna
that having children
att föräldraskap
not the definition.
inte definitionen.
by whether or not she has a child,
of her entire identity
to create life,
is a means to an end.
that society places on us
att de fack vi placeras i
that comes with them,
to these standards ...
till förväntningarna ...
cast aside to accept them?
genom att acceptera dem?
to happiness and fulfillment.
to self-determination.
to embrace or forego motherhood
to your worthiness or identity
som vuxen eller som kvinna...
a choice behind maternity,
om du vill bli mor eller inte,
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Christen Reighter - Poet, essayistChristen Reighter writes and performs as a poet and essayist, focusing primarily on social justice issues.
Why you should listen
Christen Reighter's primary advocacy platform is for the childfree-choice. She often writes and speaks out about her experience obtaining elective sterilization at age 22, including how she encountered and confronted harassing societal prejudice, condescending medical paternalism, and civil rights violations. Her other writing and advocacy work includes LGBTQIA+ rights, gender equality, sex-positivity, women's issues (including sexual assault) and mental health issues and recovery.
Reighter is also an award-winning spoken word artist. she has competed and performed across the country and in international competitions such "Brave New Voices" on on HBO.
Originally born and raised in Texas, Reighter now lives happily in beautiful Colorado with her partner and their three rambunctious cats, and she currently is finishing her MA in clinical mental health counseling.
Christen Reighter | Speaker | TED.com