Full Spectrum Auditions
Joshua Walters: On being just crazy enough
Filmed:
Readability: 4.2
1,851,774 views
At TED's Full Spectrum Auditions, comedian Joshua Walters, who's bipolar, walks the line between mental illness and mental "skillness." In this funny, thought-provoking talk, he asks: What's the right balance between medicating craziness away and riding the manic edge of creativity and drive?
Joshua Walters - Comedian, activist
Joshua Walters is a bipolar comedian whose work explores language, creativity, beatboxing and madness ... Full bio
Joshua Walters is a bipolar comedian whose work explores language, creativity, beatboxing and madness ... Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:15
My name is Joshua Walters.
0
0
3000
00:18
I'm a performer.
1
3000
3000
00:21
(Beatboxing)
2
6000
9000
00:30
(Laughter)
3
15000
3000
00:33
(Applause)
4
18000
2000
00:37
But as far as being a performer,
5
22000
3000
00:40
I'm also diagnosed
6
25000
3000
00:43
bipolar.
7
28000
2000
00:50
I reframe that as a positive
8
35000
2000
00:52
because the crazier I get onstage,
9
37000
2000
00:54
the more entertaining I become.
10
39000
3000
00:57
When I was 16 in San Francisco,
11
42000
2000
00:59
I had my breakthrough manic episode
12
44000
2000
01:01
in which I thought I was Jesus Christ.
13
46000
3000
01:05
Maybe you thought that was scary,
14
50000
4000
01:09
but actually there's no amount of drugs you can take
15
54000
3000
01:12
that can get you as high
16
57000
2000
01:14
as if you think you're Jesus Christ.
17
59000
2000
01:16
(Laughter)
18
61000
3000
01:20
I was sent to a place,
19
65000
3000
01:23
a psych ward,
20
68000
2000
01:25
and in the psych ward,
21
70000
2000
01:27
everyone is doing their own one-man show.
22
72000
4000
01:31
(Laughter)
23
76000
5000
01:36
There's no audience like this
24
81000
2000
01:38
to justify their rehearsal time.
25
83000
3000
01:41
They're just practicing.
26
86000
2000
01:43
One day they'll get here.
27
88000
3000
01:47
Now when I got out,
28
92000
2000
01:49
I was diagnosed
29
94000
2000
01:51
and I was given medications
30
96000
2000
01:53
by a psychiatrist.
31
98000
2000
01:55
"Okay, Josh, why don't we give you some --
32
100000
2000
01:57
why don't we give you some Zyprexa.
33
102000
3000
02:00
Okay? Mmhmm?
34
105000
3000
02:05
At least that's what it says on my pen."
35
110000
2000
02:07
(Laughter)
36
112000
5000
02:12
Some of you are in the field, I can see.
37
117000
3000
02:15
I can feel your noise.
38
120000
2000
02:19
The first half of high school
39
124000
3000
02:22
was the struggle of the manic episode,
40
127000
3000
02:25
and the second half
41
130000
2000
02:27
was the overmedications of these drugs,
42
132000
3000
02:30
where I was sleeping through high school.
43
135000
2000
02:32
The second half was just one big nap, pretty much, in class.
44
137000
4000
02:37
When I got out
45
142000
2000
02:39
I had a choice.
46
144000
2000
02:41
I could either deny
47
146000
3000
02:44
my mental illness
48
149000
2000
02:46
or embrace
49
151000
4000
02:50
my mental skillness.
50
155000
2000
02:52
(Bugle sound)
51
157000
2000
02:56
There's a movement going on right now
52
161000
2000
02:58
to reframe mental illness as a positive --
53
163000
3000
03:01
at least the hypomanic edge part of it.
54
166000
3000
03:04
Now if you don't know what hypomania is,
55
169000
3000
03:07
it's like an engine that's out of control,
56
172000
2000
03:09
maybe a Ferrari engine, with no breaks.
57
174000
3000
03:12
Many of the speakers here, many of you in the audience,
58
177000
3000
03:15
have that creative edge,
59
180000
2000
03:17
if you know what I'm talking about.
60
182000
2000
03:19
You're driven to do something
61
184000
2000
03:21
that everyone has told you is impossible.
62
186000
2000
03:23
And there's a book -- John Gartner.
63
188000
2000
03:25
John Gartner wrote this book called "The Hypomanic Edge"
64
190000
3000
03:28
in which Christopher Columbus and Ted Turner and Steve Jobs
65
193000
3000
03:31
and all these business minds
66
196000
2000
03:33
have this edge to compete.
67
198000
2000
03:35
A different book was written not too long ago
68
200000
2000
03:37
in the mid-90s
69
202000
2000
03:39
called "Touched With Fire" by Kay Redfield Jamison
70
204000
3000
03:42
in which it was looked at in a creative sense
71
207000
3000
03:45
in which Mozart and Beethoven and Van Gogh
72
210000
3000
03:48
all have this manic depression that they were suffering with.
73
213000
3000
03:51
Some of them committed suicide.
74
216000
2000
03:53
So it wasn't all
75
218000
2000
03:55
the good side of the illness.
76
220000
3000
03:58
Now recently,
77
223000
3000
04:01
there's been development in this field.
78
226000
3000
04:04
And there was an article written in the New York Times,
79
229000
3000
04:07
September 2010,
80
232000
2000
04:09
that stated:
81
234000
3000
04:12
"Just Manic Enough."
82
237000
2000
04:14
Just be manic enough
83
239000
2000
04:16
in which investors who are looking for entrepreneurs
84
241000
3000
04:19
that have this kind of spectrum --
85
244000
3000
04:22
you know what I'm talking about --
86
247000
2000
04:24
not maybe full bipolar,
87
249000
3000
04:27
but they're in the bipolar spectrum --
88
252000
4000
04:31
where on one side,
89
256000
2000
04:33
maybe you think you're Jesus,
90
258000
4000
04:37
and on the other side
91
262000
3000
04:40
maybe they just make you a lot of money.
92
265000
2000
04:42
(Laughter)
93
267000
3000
04:45
Your call. Your call.
94
270000
3000
04:48
And everyone's somewhere in the middle.
95
273000
2000
04:50
Everyone's somewhere in the middle.
96
275000
3000
04:53
So maybe, you know,
97
278000
3000
04:56
there's no such thing
98
281000
2000
04:58
as crazy,
99
283000
2000
05:00
and being diagnosed with a mental illness
100
285000
3000
05:03
doesn't mean you're crazy.
101
288000
2000
05:05
But maybe it just means
102
290000
2000
05:07
you're more sensitive
103
292000
2000
05:09
to what most people can't see
104
294000
2000
05:11
or feel.
105
296000
2000
05:13
Maybe no one's really crazy.
106
298000
4000
05:17
Everyone is just a little bit mad.
107
302000
5000
05:26
How much
108
311000
3000
05:29
depends on where you fall in the spectrum.
109
314000
3000
05:33
How much
110
318000
2000
05:35
depends on how lucky you are.
111
320000
4000
05:39
Thank you.
112
324000
2000
05:41
(Applause)
113
326000
4000
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Joshua Walters - Comedian, activistJoshua Walters is a bipolar comedian whose work explores language, creativity, beatboxing and madness ...
Why you should listen
Joshua Walters is a comedian, poet, educator and performer. He incorporates elements of spoken word and beatbox into his shows in a mash-up of comedy, intimate reflection and unpredictable antics. In the last two years, Walters has performed at theaters and universities throughout North America, Europe and the Middle East.
His eclectic combination of performance disciplines and activity as an educator in mental health has given Walters a national platform and audience. In 2002, Walters co-founded the DBSA (Depression Bipolar Support Alliance) Young Adults Chapter in San Francisco, one of the few support groups specifically for mentally ill young adults in the country. As a facilitator, Walters developed humor to address the subject of mental illness, reframing it as a positive. Walters speaks as a mental health educator and has engaged in mental health advocacy at conventions and in classrooms nationwide.
Joshua Walters | Speaker | TED.com