Christen Reighter: I don't want children -- stop telling me I'll change my mind
Christen Reighter: Ne želim djecu - prestanite mi govoriti da ću se predomisliti
Christen Reighter writes and performs as a poet and essayist, focusing primarily on social justice issues. Full bio
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that were placed on me very early.
uloge koje su mi nametnute.
supposed to have children,
da moraju imati djecu,
that adults spoke to me
na koji su mi se odrasli obraćali
in the context of "when."
were always presented to me
like someone else's dream.
kao dio nečijeg tuđeg sna.
always understood about myself
to explain this,
često bi mi se smijali
their roles and my values,
at the absurdities of children.
smiju dječjim izjavama.
things like that to me my whole life.
govore takve stvari.
can turn intrusive fast.
može početi narušavati privatnost.
iza sebe kada odeš?"
when discussing childlessness,
kada se radi o životu bez djece je
a woman may have
not self-prioritizing.
to publicly vilify women as such,
ogovarati žene,
have made it into the social narrative.
nije dio društvenog sustava.
about the inevitability of maternity,
o neizbježnosti majčinstva,
that women consider,
žene moraju uzeti u obzir,
hereditary illness,
prenesu nasljednu bolest,
life-saving medication
od životne važnosti
415,000 children
in the United States at any given time.
things of this magnitude to chance,
nešto tako važno prepustiti sreći,
with undergoing a tubal ligation,
for getting your tubes tied.
za podvezivanje jajnika.
has always been taught to me,
što su mi stalno govorili
who didn't want children were so rare,
koje ne žele imati djecu,
one in five American women
the more disheartened I became.
postajala sam više obeshrabrena.
obaviti taj zahvat.
for women to exhaust their finances
žene potroše mnogo novca
over many years,
kroz dugi niz godina,
that they just gave up.
s nepoštovanjem pa bi one odustale.
were often condescending
uglavnom bili arogantni
with a child."
i rodite dijete."
who went to go get this procedure,
i željele napraviti taj zahvat
for getting this kind of surgery were,
u mojoj državi glasili:
acting of your own accord,"
svjesno i bez prisile"
all of these legal requirements
sve te pravne uvjete
in the exam room
boriti s ispitivanjima
to that first appointment.
profesionalno za taj prvi razgovor.
every piece of evidence
of birth in that file.
da spomenem stvari poput,
to these doctoral programs,
has this kind of business,"
on this for months.
about it, all the risks."
that this was not a whim,
da ovo nije neki hir,
looking to go out and party
koja se želi zabavljati,
integral to who I was.
on how it all worked, but ...
podučiti kako to sve funkcionira, ali...
given to me started to feel agenda'd,
dobivala postajale pristrane,
and inflated statistics.
i prenapuhanom statistikom.
my situation better,
asking questions to try to trip me up.
pokušali zbuniti.
being cross-examined.
u sudnici na ispitivanju.
feel about all of this?"
the same man for five years,
I make for my body."
moju odluku o mom tijelu."
what happens in the future,
wants children?"
how to react to that,
to disregard everything I believe
moram zanemariti sve što vjerujem
ne mora brinuti oko toga.
has always been first date conversation.
odmah na prvom spoju.
come to regret this" ...
mogla požaliti"...
decision back then,
a single path to parenthood.
način da postanem roditelj.
to form family anyway."
biologija da osnujem obitelj.
deal with that any day
or was prepared to care for.
bila spremna brinuti se o njemu.
are not to be gambled with.
was going to approve this procedure,
neće odobriti ovaj zahvat,
called medical paternalism,
medicinski paternalizam,
as my well-informed provider,
stručna i koja mi daje informacije,
of my best interest,
da je najbolje za mene,
as the patient, want or believe.
želim ili vjerujem.
mojim potencijalnim kirurgom
with my potential surgeon,
describe me as a little girl.
kako me opisuje kao djevojčicu.
to each one of these providers
svakome od njih
i seksističko ponašanje
questions and statements.
patronizirajuće pitanje i tvrdnju.
for objectivity and support
disrespect me repeatedly.
stalno odnose s nepoštovanjem.
that I had to go to.
savjetovanja na koje sam morala ići.
medical professionals in the same hour.
liječnika u sat vremena.
felt more like the door to a clown car.
to infect me with smallpox
da me zaraze ospicama,
obtain birth control.
to allow the procedure.
od njih da mi dozvoli zahvat.
signing the consent forms
and tying up loose ends ...
i sređivala ostalo,
his head in disapproval.
glavom u znak neslaganja.
clings to this role
to separate me being a woman
razlikovati mene kao ženu
that having children
not the definition.
a ne definicija.
by whether or not she has a child,
ima li ona dijete ili ne,
of her entire identity
to create life,
sposobnost da stvore život,
is a means to an end.
svedeno na to da je ona samo sredstvo.
that society places on us
koje nam društvo nameće
that comes with them,
to these standards ...
prilagodimo tim standardima,
cast aside to accept them?
kako bismo ih prihvatili?
to happiness and fulfillment.
postigne sreća i ispunjenje.
to self-determination.
to embrace or forego motherhood
prihvatite ili se suzdržite majčinstva
to your worthiness or identity
vašom vrijednošću ili identitetom
a choice behind maternity,
kod pitanja majčinstva
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Christen Reighter - Poet, essayistChristen Reighter writes and performs as a poet and essayist, focusing primarily on social justice issues.
Why you should listen
Christen Reighter's primary advocacy platform is for the childfree-choice. She often writes and speaks out about her experience obtaining elective sterilization at age 22, including how she encountered and confronted harassing societal prejudice, condescending medical paternalism, and civil rights violations. Her other writing and advocacy work includes LGBTQIA+ rights, gender equality, sex-positivity, women's issues (including sexual assault) and mental health issues and recovery.
Reighter is also an award-winning spoken word artist. she has competed and performed across the country and in international competitions such "Brave New Voices" on on HBO.
Originally born and raised in Texas, Reighter now lives happily in beautiful Colorado with her partner and their three rambunctious cats, and she currently is finishing her MA in clinical mental health counseling.
Christen Reighter | Speaker | TED.com