Christen Reighter: I don't want children -- stop telling me I'll change my mind
クリステン・ライター: 私は子供は欲しくない—「そのうち気が変わる」なんて言うのはやめて
Christen Reighter writes and performs as a poet and essayist, focusing primarily on social justice issues. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
that were placed on me very early.
役割に気づきました
メディアに根強く残るある観念―
supposed to have children,
持つべきであるだけでなく
that adults spoke to me
自分の将来の出来事について
in the context of "when."
were always presented to me
まるで アメリカンドリームの
常に立ちはだかりましたが
like someone else's dream.
感じていました
always understood about myself
絶対にないということでした
to explain this,
私の価値観とのズレを
their roles and my values,
at the absurdities of children.
言いたげでした
こう言うのでした
things like that to me my whole life.
そう言われてきました
can turn intrusive fast.
立ち入った話になることもあります
when discussing childlessness,
一番よく聞く言葉は
a woman may have
選択をした場合
not self-prioritizing.
to publicly vilify women as such,
今でも社会的に容認されています
have made it into the social narrative.
当てはまらないからです
about the inevitability of maternity,
教えられていた幼い頃
that women consider,
誰も説明してくれませんでした
hereditary illness,
引き渡してしまうリスクや
life-saving medication
といった要因です
415,000 children
常時 41万5000人の子供たちが
in the United States at any given time.
事実などもです
things of this magnitude to chance,
「偶然」任せにしたくないという考えから
with undergoing a tubal ligation,
すべてのことを
for getting your tubes tied.
統計まで知りたかったのです
has always been taught to me,
世間の常識から
who didn't want children were so rare,
とても珍しいのかと思ったら
one in five American women
the more disheartened I became.
意気消沈してきました
for women to exhaust their finances
over many years,
あまり多いのだと知りました
that they just gave up.
手術を諦めるのです
were often condescending
見下した態度を取り
with a child."
またいらっしゃい」
who went to go get this procedure,
不妊手術を希望しても
for getting this kind of surgery were,
不妊手術の条件は
acting of your own accord,"
自分の意思で行動している」
all of these legal requirements
この法的要件をすべて満たしているのに
in the exam room
to that first appointment.
いったのを覚えています
every piece of evidence
扱ってほしい—
of birth in that file.
医師に伝えたかったのです
to these doctoral programs,
has this kind of business,"
こんな仕事をしています」
on this for months.
不妊手術について調べました
about it, all the risks."
that this was not a whim,
ただの気まぐれではないし
looking to go out and party
integral to who I was.
一部分であることもです
理解していますので
on how it all worked, but ...
説明してもらえると思っていたのですが
given to me started to feel agenda'd,
偏見と大げさな統計と
and inflated statistics.
感じ始めました
my situation better,
質問をしていました
asking questions to try to trip me up.
being cross-examined.
feel about all of this?"
the same man for five years,
5年付き合っていて
I make for my body."
全面賛成しています」
what happens in the future,
wants children?"
how to react to that,
to disregard everything I believe
私自身の考えはすべて度外視して当たり前だと
has always been first date conversation.
子どもを持たない話でしたから
考えたこともなかったかのように
come to regret this" ...
しれないから よく考えるようにと
decision back then,
a single path to parenthood.
というだけのことです
to form family anyway."
必要なかったのだから」
deal with that any day
世話をする準備も
or was prepared to care for.
ずっと受け入れやすいことです
私だけに影響するものです
are not to be gambled with.
was going to approve this procedure,
手術を承認するわけがない理由を言いました
called medical paternalism,
as my well-informed provider,
of my best interest,
as the patient, want or believe.
何を信じているとしてもです
with my potential surgeon,
外科医と話しに行きました
describe me as a little girl.
話しぶりが聞こえてきました
to each one of these providers
はっきり言ってやりたくなりました
questions and statements.
すべて答えました
for objectivity and support
客観性や支持を求めるためです
黙らせられたように感じました
disrespect me repeatedly.
自分が嫌になりました
that I had to go to.
面談の一つでした
medical professionals in the same hour.
5~6人もの医者に会いました
felt more like the door to a clown car.
飛び出すドアに向かう気分でした
to infect me with smallpox
obtain birth control.
頼んで回っているような気分でした
to allow the procedure.
一人の婦人科医を説得しました
signing the consent forms
and tying up loose ends ...
残りの手続きをしながらも
his head in disapproval.
言っていました
完全に理解していませんでした
clings to this role
固執しているかを
医療提供者であれ
to separate me being a woman
考えることができないのか
that having children
女性であることの延長であり
not the definition.
by whether or not she has a child,
決められるべきではありません
of her entire identity
すべてのアイデンティティを
to create life,
素晴らしい力を持っています
is a means to an end.
出産のための手段になってしまいます
that society places on us
「母」という名前よりもずっと重いことを
that comes with them,
to these standards ...
プレッシャー
cast aside to accept them?
どうなるのでしょうか?
to happiness and fulfillment.
自己決定の権利を
to self-determination.
to embrace or forego motherhood
母親となるかならないかの選択は
to your worthiness or identity
配偶者、大人、女性としての
縛られていません
a choice behind maternity,
間違いなくそこにあります
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Christen Reighter - Poet, essayistChristen Reighter writes and performs as a poet and essayist, focusing primarily on social justice issues.
Why you should listen
Christen Reighter's primary advocacy platform is for the childfree-choice. She often writes and speaks out about her experience obtaining elective sterilization at age 22, including how she encountered and confronted harassing societal prejudice, condescending medical paternalism, and civil rights violations. Her other writing and advocacy work includes LGBTQIA+ rights, gender equality, sex-positivity, women's issues (including sexual assault) and mental health issues and recovery.
Reighter is also an award-winning spoken word artist. she has competed and performed across the country and in international competitions such "Brave New Voices" on on HBO.
Originally born and raised in Texas, Reighter now lives happily in beautiful Colorado with her partner and their three rambunctious cats, and she currently is finishing her MA in clinical mental health counseling.
Christen Reighter | Speaker | TED.com