TEDIndia 2009
Ananda Shankar Jayant: Fighting cancer with dance
Ananda Shankar Jayant se plesom bori protiv raka
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Čuvenoj plesačici indijskog klasičnog plesa Anandi Shankar Jayant 2008. godine dijagnosticiran je rak. Kroz svoju intimnu priču ona govori ne samo o suočavanju s bolešću, već i o tome kako je plesala kroz svoje tegobe, a plesom dočarava i metaforu snage koja joj je pomogla.
Ananda Shankar Jayant - Dancer and choreographer
With precision and sparkling grace, Ananda Shankar Jayant performs and teaches the classical dance styles of Bharatanatyam and Kuchipudi. Full bio
With precision and sparkling grace, Ananda Shankar Jayant performs and teaches the classical dance styles of Bharatanatyam and Kuchipudi. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:16
(Music)
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(Glazba)
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[Sanskrit]
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[Sanskrt]
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This is an ode to the mother goddess,
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Ovo je oda božici majci
01:07
that most of us in India learn when we are children.
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oda koju većina nas u Indiji nauči još u djetinjstvu.
01:13
I learned it when I was four
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Ja sam je naučila s četiri godine
01:15
at my mother's knee.
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na majčinu koljenu.
01:20
That year she introduced me to dance,
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Te godine majka me uvela u ples.
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and thus began
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I tako je počela
01:25
my tryst with classical dance.
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moja veza s klasičnim plesom.
01:28
Since then -- it's been four decades now --
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Od tada -- prošla su već četiri desetljeća --
01:32
I've trained with the best in the field,
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vježbala sam s najboljima u tom području,
01:34
performed across the globe,
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plesala diljem zemaljske kugle,
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taught young and old alike,
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podučavala i mlade i stare,
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created, collaborated,
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stvarala, surađivala,
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choreographed,
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radila na koreografiji,
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and wove a rich tapestry
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i tkala bogatu tapiseriju
01:45
of artistry, achievement and awards.
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umjetnosti, postignuća i nagrada.
01:49
The crowning glory was in 2007,
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Kruna moje slave došla je 2007,
01:52
when I received this country's
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kad sam primila državnu nagradu,
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fourth highest civilian award, the Padma Shri,
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četvrtu najvišu civilnu nagradu, Padmashri,
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for my contribution to art.
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za svoj umjetnički doprinos.
01:58
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
02:02
But nothing, nothing prepared me
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Ali ništa, baš ništa me nije pripremilo
02:05
for what I was to hear
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na ono što mi je rečeno
02:08
on the first of July 2008.
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1. srpnja 2008.
02:11
I heard the word "carcinoma."
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Čula sam riječ "karcinom".
02:14
Yes, breast cancer.
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Da, rak dojke.
02:17
As I sat dumbstruck in my doctor's office,
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Dok sam skamenjeno sjedila u ordinaciji svog liječnika,
02:22
I heard other words:
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čula sam druge riječi,
02:24
"cancer," "stage," "grade."
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"rak", "stadij", "stupanj".
02:27
Until then, Cancer was the zodiac
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Dotada je rak bio horoskopski
02:29
sign of my friend,
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znak mog prijatelja,
02:31
stage was what I performed on,
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pozornica (stadij) je bilo mjesto na kojemu sam plesala,
02:34
and grades were what I got in school.
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a ocjene (stupanj) su bile ono što sam dobivala u školi.
02:39
That day, I realized
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Toga dana sam ustanovila
02:41
I had an unwelcome, uninvited,
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da imam neželjenog, nezvanog,
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new life partner.
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novog životnog partnera.
02:47
As a dancer,
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Kao plesačica,
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I know the nine rasas or the navarasas:
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poznajem devet rasa ili navarasa:
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anger, valor,
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srdžbu, hrabrost,
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disgust, humor
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gađenje, humor
02:56
and fear.
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i strah.
02:58
I thought I knew what fear was.
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Mislila sam da znam što je strah.
03:00
That day, I learned what fear was.
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Tog dana, upoznala sam strah.
03:04
Overcome with the enormity of it all
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Svladana strahotom svega toga
03:07
and the complete feeling of loss of control,
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i potpunim osjećajem gubitka kontrole,
03:09
I shed copious tears
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prolila sam brojne suze
03:11
and asked my dear husband, Jayant.
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i zapitala svog dragog muža Jayanta.
03:14
I said, "Is this it? Is this the end of the road?
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Rekla sam, "Je li to to? Je li ovo kraj puta?
03:17
Is this the end of my dance?"
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Je li to kraj mog plesa?"
03:20
And he, the positive soul that he is,
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A on je, optimističan kakav jest,
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said, "No, this is just a hiatus,
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rekao, "Ne, ovo je samo prekid,
03:26
a hiatus during the treatment,
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prekid za vrijeme liječenja,
03:28
and you'll get back to doing what you do best."
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a ti ćeš poslije toga ponovno raditi ono što ti najbolje ide."
03:32
I realized then
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Tada sam otkrila
03:34
that I, who thought I had complete control of my life,
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da ja koja sam vjerovala da imam kontrolu nad svojim životom,
03:37
had control of only three things:
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kontroliram samo tri stvari:
03:40
My thought, my mind --
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Svoju misao, svoju svijest --
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the images that these thoughts created --
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slike koje su te misli stvarale --
03:45
and the action that derived from it.
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i postupke koji su iz toga proizlazili.
03:48
So here I was wallowing
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I tako sam se koprcala
03:50
in a vortex of emotions
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u vrtlogu osjećaja
03:52
and depression and what have you,
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i depresije i svega što dolazi
03:54
with the enormity of the situation,
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s užasom situacije,
03:57
wanting to go to a place of healing, health and happiness.
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želeći otići na mjesto oporavka, zdravlja i sreće.
04:01
I wanted to go from where I was
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Željela sam otići s mjesta na kojem sam bila
04:03
to where I wanted to be,
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na mjesto gdje sam htjela biti,
04:05
for which I needed something.
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a za to sam trebala nešto.
04:08
I needed something that would pull me out of all this.
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Trebala sam nešto što bi me izvuklo iz svega ovoga.
04:11
So I dried my tears,
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Zato sam obrisala suze,
04:13
and I declared to the world at large ...
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i objavila cijelom svijetu ...
04:16
I said, "Cancer's only one page in my life,
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Rekla sam, "Rak je samo jedna stranica mog života,
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and I will not allow this page to impact the rest of my life."
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i neću joj dopustiti da utječe na ostatak mog života."
04:23
I also declared to the world at large
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Također sam cijelom svijetu objavila
04:25
that I would ride it out,
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da ću izmoriti rak
04:27
and I would not allow cancer to ride me.
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i neću mu dopustiti da upravlja mnome.
04:29
But to go from where I was
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Ali da bih otišla s mjesta na kojem sam bila
04:31
to where I wanted to be,
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na mjesto gdje sam htjela biti,
04:33
I needed something.
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trebala sam nešto.
04:35
I needed an anchor, an image,
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Neko sidro, sliku,
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a peg
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klin
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to peg this process on,
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koji bi me držao,
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so that I could go from there.
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tako da se mogu izvući odatle.
04:44
And I found that in my dance,
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Pronašla sam to u svom plesu,
04:48
my dance, my strength, my energy, my passion,
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svom plesu, svojoj snazi, svojoj energiji, svojoj strasti,
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my very life breath.
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samom svojem životnom dahu.
04:53
But it wasn't easy.
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Ali nije bilo lako.
04:55
Believe me, it definitely wasn't easy.
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Vjerujte mi, uopće nije bilo lako.
04:58
How do you keep cheer
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Kako ostati vedra
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when you go from beautiful
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kad se iz ljepotice
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to bald in three days?
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u tri dana pretvoriš u ćelavicu?
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How do you not despair
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Kako ne očajavati
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when, with the body ravaged by chemotherapy,
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kad je, za tijelo poharano kemoterapijom,
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climbing a mere flight of stairs was sheer torture,
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uspon uz nekoliko stepenica bio jednak mučenju,
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that to someone like me who could dance for three hours?
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i to za nekoga poput mene tko je mogao plesati po tri sata?
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How do you not get overwhelmed
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Kako ne pokleknuti
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by the despair and the misery of it all?
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pod očajem i jadom svega toga?
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All I wanted to do was curl up and weep.
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Samo sam se željela sklupčati i plakati.
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But I kept telling myself fear and tears
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Ali sam si nastavila govoriti kako su strah i suze
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are options I did not have.
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izbor koji zapravo nemam.
05:32
So I would drag myself into my dance studio --
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I zato bih se dovukla do svog plesnog studija,
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body, mind and spirit -- every day into my dance studio,
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tijelo, um i duh, svakoga dana u svoj plesni studio,
05:38
and learn everything I learned
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i učila bih sve što sam naučila
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when I was four, all over again,
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s četiri godine, sve ispočetka,
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reworked, relearned, regrouped.
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ponovno bih radila, učila, grupirala.
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It was excruciatingly painful, but I did it.
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Bilo je strahovito bolno, ali sam uspjela.
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Difficult.
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Teško.
05:51
I focused on my mudras,
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Usredotočila sam se na mudre,
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on the imagery of my dance,
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na slikovitost svog plesa,
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on the poetry and the metaphor
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na poetiku i metaforu
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and the philosophy of the dance itself.
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i na filozofiju samog plesa.
06:00
And slowly, I moved out
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I polako bih izlazila
06:02
of that miserable state of mind.
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iz onog jadnog stanja svijesti.
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But I needed something else.
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Ali trebalo mi je još nešto.
06:08
I needed something to go that extra mile,
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Trebala sam nešto da bih učinila onaj jedan korak više.
06:11
and I found it in that metaphor
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I našla sam to u metaforičkoj priči
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which I had learned from my mother when I was four.
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koju sam naučila od svoje majke kad sam imala četiri godine.
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The metaphor of Mahishasura Mardhini,
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Metafora Mahishasura Mardhini,
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of Durga.
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o Durgi.
06:21
Durga, the mother goddess, the fearless one,
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Durga, božica majka, neustrašiva,
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created by the pantheon of Hindu gods.
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nastala u panteonu hinduističkih božanstava.
06:27
Durga, resplendent, bedecked, beautiful,
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Durga, blistava, nakićena, lijepa,
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her 18 arms
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sa svojih 18 ruku
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ready for warfare,
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spremna za bitke,
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as she rode astride her lion
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dok jaše na svom lavu
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into the battlefield to destroy Mahishasur.
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prema bojištu kako bi uništila Mahishu.
06:42
Durga, the epitome
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Durga, utjelovljenje
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of creative feminine energy,
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kreativne ženske energije
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or shakti.
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shakti.
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Durga, the fearless one.
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Durga, neustrašiva.
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I made that image of Durga
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Stvorila sam sliku Durge
06:52
and her every attribute, her every nuance,
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i svake njene osobine, svake nijanse,
06:54
my very own.
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svojom vlastitom.
06:56
Powered by the symbology of a myth
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Snagom mitske simbolike
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and the passion of my training,
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i strasti svojeg vježbanja,
07:02
I brought laser-sharp focus into my dance,
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u svoj ples sam unijela vrhunsku koncentraciju.
07:05
laser-sharp focus to such an extent
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Izoštrenu do te mjere,
07:07
that I danced a few weeks after surgery.
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da sam plesala nekoliko tjedana nakon operacije.
07:10
I danced through chemo and radiation cycles,
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Plesala sam kroz kemoterapiju i zračenja,
07:13
much to the dismay of my oncologist.
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na užas svog onkologa.
07:16
I danced between chemo and radiation cycles
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Plesala sam između ciklusa kemoterapija i zračenja
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and badgered him to fit it
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i gnjavila ga da ih prilagodi
07:20
to my performing dance schedule.
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mojem rasporedu plesnih nastupa.
07:25
What I had done
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Ono što sam napravila
07:27
is I had tuned out of cancer
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jest to da sam se isključila iz raka
07:29
and tuned into my dance.
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i povezala sa svojim plesom.
07:33
Yes, cancer has just been one page in my life.
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Da, rak je bio samo jedna stranica mog života.
07:38
My story
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Moja priča
07:40
is a story of overcoming setbacks,
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je priča o svladavanju prepreka,
07:42
obstacles and challenges
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smetnji i izazova
07:44
that life throws at you.
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koje vam život postavlja.
07:46
My story is the power of thought.
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Moja priča je moć misli,
07:49
My story is the power of choice.
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Moja priča je moć izbora.
07:52
It's the power of focus.
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Moć koncentracije.
07:54
It's the power of bringing ourselves
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Moć usmjeravanja vlastite pažnje
07:57
to the attention of something that so animates you,
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nečemu što nas tako pokreće,
08:00
so moves you,
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što nas tako pomakne,
08:02
that something even like cancer becomes insignificant.
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da čak i nešto poput raka postaje nebitno.
08:05
My story is the power of a metaphor.
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Moja priča je snaga metafore.
08:07
It's the power of an image.
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Snaga slike.
08:09
Mine was that of Durga,
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Moja je bila slika Durge,
08:11
Durga the fearless one.
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Durge - neustrašive.
08:14
She was also called Simhanandini,
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Zvali su je i Simhanandini,
08:16
the one who rode the lion.
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ona koja jaše lava.
08:20
As I ride out,
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Dok ja jašem dalje,
08:22
as I ride my own inner strength,
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dok jašem na svojoj vlastitoj unutrašnjoj snazi,
08:24
my own inner resilience,
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svojoj unutrašnjoj izdržljivosti,
08:26
armed as I am with what medication can provide
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naoružana onim što lijekovi mogu dati
08:29
and continue treatment,
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i dok nastavljam liječenje,
08:31
as I ride out into the battlefield of cancer,
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dok jašem na bojno polje raka,
08:33
asking my rogue cells to behave,
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naređujući svojim odmetnutim stanicama da budu dobre,
08:38
I want to be known not as a cancer survivor,
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želim biti poznata, ne kao ona koja je preživjela rak,
08:41
but as a cancer conqueror.
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nego kao ona koja je pobijedila rak.
08:43
I present to you an excerpt of that work
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Ovo je dio mog rada
08:45
"Simhanandini."
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"Simhanandini."
08:48
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
08:51
(Music)
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(Glazba)
15:24
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Ananda Shankar Jayant - Dancer and choreographerWith precision and sparkling grace, Ananda Shankar Jayant performs and teaches the classical dance styles of Bharatanatyam and Kuchipudi.
Why you should listen
Ananda Shankar Jayant is trained in two traditional forms of classical Indian dance, Bharatanatyam and Kuchipudi. Both forms require long training and precise timing to express their essence -- and both forms, in Shankar Jayant's hands, are capable of exploring deep truths.
As a choreographer and performer, she uses dance to talk about gender issues (as in 1999's What About Me?), mythology and philosophy, setting these carefully handed-down forms of dance onto a modern stage. She leads the Shankarananda Kalakshetra school in Hyderabad and Secunderabad, and is a scholar of dance and art, lecturing frequently on both throughout India.
Ananda Shankar Jayant | Speaker | TED.com