The Way We Work
Dan Clay: Why you should bring your whole self to work
Dan Clay: Mengapa Anda harus membawa diri Anda seutuhnya ke tempat kerja
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Dan Clay dulunya merasa khawatir diabaikan karena "terlalu gay" di tempat kerja, oleh sebab itu ia meredam kepribadiannya. Namun kemudian sisi lain dirinya, Carrie Dragshaw, menjadi viral daring. Inilah kelanjutannya.
Dan Clay - Writer, consultant
By day, Dan Clay is a partner in at a brand and innovation consultancy. His more well-known persona is Carrie Dragshaw. Full bio
By day, Dan Clay is a partner in at a brand and innovation consultancy. His more well-known persona is Carrie Dragshaw. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:00
A leader is steady, firm,
decisive, unwavering.
decisive, unwavering.
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Seorang pemimpin itu
mantap, tegas, pasti, teguh,
mantap, tegas, pasti, teguh,
Jangan pernah terlihat
cemas, selalu punya jawaban.
cemas, selalu punya jawaban.
00:03
Never let 'em see you sweat,
always have an answer.
always have an answer.
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00:06
[The Way We Work]
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[Cara Kita Bekerja]
00:10
My name is Dan, I'm a partner
at a global creative consultancy.
at a global creative consultancy.
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Nama saya Dan, saya seorang partner
di sebuah konsultan kreatif global.
di sebuah konsultan kreatif global.
Tapi ada sisi lain saya:
00:14
But there's another side to me:
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Carrie Dragshaw,
00:17
Carrie Dragshaw,
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karakter yang saya buat di Instagram.
00:18
the character I created on Instagram.
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Saat memikirkan kehidupan ganda saya,
saya terus bertanya...
saya terus bertanya...
00:20
As I thought about my double life,
I couldn't help but wonder ...
I couldn't help but wonder ...
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Ketika jati diri Anda sedikit tak biasa,
00:25
When your true self
is a little nontraditional,
is a little nontraditional,
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seberapa banyak yang bisa
dibawa ke kantor?
dibawa ke kantor?
00:28
how much of it can you really
bring to the office?
bring to the office?
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00:32
For some of us is authenticity off-limits?
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Bagi sebagian orang
apakah keaslian itu terlarang?
apakah keaslian itu terlarang?
Selama 10 tahun pertama karier saya,
00:36
For the first 10 years of my career,
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saya kira ada satu cara saja
untuk menjadi pemimpin:
untuk menjadi pemimpin:
00:39
I thought there was
one way to be a leader:
one way to be a leader:
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tegas dan serius.
00:41
decisive and serious.
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Tapi itu bukan saya.
00:43
But that's not me.
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Jadi saya memakai
kostum kantor agar cocok:
kostum kantor agar cocok:
00:45
So I'd put on basically
office drag to fit the role:
office drag to fit the role:
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saya bersuara lebih dalam,
berusaha tak menggerakkan tangan.
berusaha tak menggerakkan tangan.
00:49
I'd talk in a deeper voice,
try to hold in my hand motions.
try to hold in my hand motions.
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Saya orang yang bersemangat
akan berbagai hal,
akan berbagai hal,
00:52
I'm someone who gets
really excited about things,
really excited about things,
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jadi saya meredamnya.
00:54
so I'd temper that.
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Ada suara kecil
di dalam kepala saya, berkata,
di dalam kepala saya, berkata,
00:56
I had this little voice
in my head, telling me,
in my head, telling me,
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"Kau terlalu gay, terlalu feminin,
terlalu flamboyan,"
terlalu flamboyan,"
00:59
"You're too gay,
too feminine, too flamboyant."
too feminine, too flamboyant."
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Ada penasihat baik saya yang berkata,
01:02
I had one well-intentioned
adviser who said,
adviser who said,
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"Semua tahu kau gay. Dan itu hebat.
01:05
"Everyone knows you're gay.
And that's great.
And that's great.
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Tapi kau tak perlu
terlalu memamerkannya."
terlalu memamerkannya."
01:07
But you don't need to beat them
over the head with it."
over the head with it."
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Lompat ke: saya berkostum tutu,
untuk Halloween tahun 2016.
untuk Halloween tahun 2016.
01:10
Cut to: me in a tutu, for Halloween 2016.
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Saya berpakaian sebagai karakter TV
favorit saya, Carrie Bradshaw,
favorit saya, Carrie Bradshaw,
01:15
I dressed up as my favorite
TV show character, Carrie Bradshaw,
TV show character, Carrie Bradshaw,
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mengira teman-teman saya
akan menikmatinya.
akan menikmatinya.
01:19
thinking my friends
would get a kick out of it.
would get a kick out of it.
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Kemudian, keadaan menggila.
01:21
And then, things got crazy.
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Postingan mereka menjadi viral,
dan awalnya hanya untuk senang-senang.
dan awalnya hanya untuk senang-senang.
01:23
The post went viral,
and at first it was pure fun.
and at first it was pure fun.
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01:26
I started getting these incredible
messages from people
messages from people
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Saya mulai menerima
pesan-pesan hebat dari orang-orang
pesan-pesan hebat dari orang-orang
betapa hal itu menggembirakan,
01:29
about how happy it made them,
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bagaimana hal itu medorong mereka
menjadi diri mereka sendiri.
menjadi diri mereka sendiri.
01:31
how it encouraged them
to be their authentic selves.
to be their authentic selves.
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01:34
And I started to think,
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dan saya mulai berpikir,
mungkin ini saatnya untuk bilang
pada suara di kepala saya untuk diam
pada suara di kepala saya untuk diam
01:35
maybe this is the time to tell that
little voice in my head to just shut up
little voice in my head to just shut up
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dan membiarkan saya menjadi saya sendiri.
01:39
and let myself be me.
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01:42
But then things got a little too big.
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Tapi keadaan menjadi agak heboh.
Carrie Dragshaw ada di mana-mana --
di "New York Post", "US Weekly" --
di "New York Post", "US Weekly" --
01:44
Carrie Dragshaw was everywhere --
In the "New York Post", "US Weekly" --
In the "New York Post", "US Weekly" --
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dan saya ketakutan:
01:48
and I got terrified:
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"Apa kata atasan saya nanti?
01:49
"What would my bosses think?
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Apa rekan kerja masih akan
menganggap saya pemimpin?
menganggap saya pemimpin?
01:51
Would my coworkers
still respect me as a leader?
still respect me as a leader?
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01:53
What would my clients think?"
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Apa kata klien saya nanti?"
01:55
I thought I was going to have to
get a different job.
get a different job.
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Saya mengira akan harus pindah kerja.
Tapi kemudian, sesuatu terjadi,
sesuatu yang kecil.
sesuatu yang kecil.
01:58
But then, something happened,
something small.
something small.
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Saya menerima pesan dari atasan saya,
tidak panjang, katanya,
tidak panjang, katanya,
02:00
I got a text from my boss,
it wasn't long, it just said,
it wasn't long, it just said,
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"Wow, Cosmo!"
02:03
"Wow, Cosmo!"
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Dengan tautan ke artikel
yang baru saja muncul tentang saya.
yang baru saja muncul tentang saya.
02:05
With a link to an article
that had just gone up about me.
that had just gone up about me.
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Dan itu membuat ketakutan saya hilang
02:09
And it let me put that little,
scared voice away
scared voice away
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dan merasa antusias
tentang dunia yang baru ini,
tentang dunia yang baru ini,
02:11
and just be excited
about this whole new world,
about this whole new world,
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alih-alih merasa cemas.
02:14
rather than freaked out.
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Itulah kekuatan satu orang,
02:16
That's the power of one person,
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terkadang hanya butuh seorang sekutu
agar Anda merasa nyaman.
agar Anda merasa nyaman.
02:17
sometimes all it takes is one ally
to make you feel comfortable.
to make you feel comfortable.
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Dan para kolega saya
mulai bersikap berbeda.
mulai bersikap berbeda.
02:22
And my coworkers
started acting differently.
started acting differently.
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Mereka menjadi lebih terbuka,
lebih ceria dengan saya,
lebih ceria dengan saya,
02:24
They became more open,
more playful with me,
more playful with me,
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sepertinya mengetahui sisi saya yang lain
02:26
it was as if knowing this other side of me
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mengizinkan mereka
untuk juga menjadi diri sendiri.
untuk juga menjadi diri sendiri.
02:29
gave them permission
to be more of themselves as well.
to be more of themselves as well.
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Saya kira keterbukaan dan kerapuhan
02:31
I thought that openness and vulnerability
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akan mengurangi wibawa saya dalam tim.
02:34
would actually decrease
my standing with my team.
my standing with my team.
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Tapi yang terjadi sebaliknya.
02:37
But it's done the opposite.
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Selama dua tahun,
02:39
Two years in,
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saya tak pernah membayangkan
sisi saya yang ini tak hanya diterima,
sisi saya yang ini tak hanya diterima,
02:40
I never could have imagined that this
part of me would not just be embraced,
part of me would not just be embraced,
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tapi juga bisa membantu karier saya.
02:45
but could actually help my career.
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Sekarang, saya beruntung.
02:47
Now, I'm lucky.
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Saya bekerja di New York City,
02:49
I work in New York City,
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di suatu kantor
di mana kreativitas dihargai
di mana kreativitas dihargai
02:50
in an office where creativity is valued
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dan saya sudah cukup mapan dalam karier
ketika semua ini dimulai.
ketika semua ini dimulai.
02:52
and I was already pretty established
in my career when all of this started.
in my career when all of this started.
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Mungkin memang Anda, mungkin juga tidak.
02:56
Maybe that's you, maybe it isn't.
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Tapi semua ini telah banyak
mengajarkan pada saya
mengajarkan pada saya
02:59
But all of this has taught me so much
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03:01
about just the importance
of bringing your whole self to work.
of bringing your whole self to work.
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tentang pentingnya membawa
diri Anda seutuhnya ke tempat kerja.
diri Anda seutuhnya ke tempat kerja.
Dan ini benar-benar
menantang mispersepsi saya
menantang mispersepsi saya
03:05
And it's really challenged
my own misperceptions
my own misperceptions
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tentang apa yang diperlukan untuk sukses.
03:07
about what it takes to be successful.
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Menjadi pemimpin tak hanya ada satu cara.
03:09
There's no one kind of way to be a leader.
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Ini tentang menemukan kekuatan Anda
dan menemukan cara memperkuatnya.
dan menemukan cara memperkuatnya.
03:12
It's about finding your strengths
and finding ways to amplify them.
and finding ways to amplify them.
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Sebelumnya, jika rapat sedang sulit,
saya memakai topeng pemimpin.
saya memakai topeng pemimpin.
03:16
Before, if a meeting was hard,
I'd put on my perfect leader mask.
I'd put on my perfect leader mask.
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Sekarang, saya bisa mengatakan,
"Ya ampun, menjengkelkan sekali."
"Ya ampun, menjengkelkan sekali."
03:20
Now, I can say,
"Gosh, that was frustrating."
"Gosh, that was frustrating."
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Kita bisa bicara tentang tantangan
dan perjuangan dengan terbuka,
dan perjuangan dengan terbuka,
03:24
We can talk about challenges
and struggles in an open way,
and struggles in an open way,
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daripada semua berpura-pura
baik-baik saja hingga akhirnya terlambat.
baik-baik saja hingga akhirnya terlambat.
03:27
rather than everybody pretending
that they're fine until it's too late.
that they're fine until it's too late.
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Menutupi identitas membutuhkan usaha.
03:31
Concealing an identity takes work.
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Pikirkan semua energi yang terbuang
dengan berpura-pura,
dengan berpura-pura,
03:34
Think of all the wasted energy
spent pretending,
spent pretending,
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berharap Anda adalah orang yang berbeda.
03:37
wishing you were someone different.
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03:39
What's most interesting to me, though,
is that in this big study of covering,
is that in this big study of covering,
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Yang paling menarik bagi saya adalah
dalam penelitian besar tentang menutupi,
dalam penelitian besar tentang menutupi,
93 persen dari mereka
yang mengatakan melakukannya
yang mengatakan melakukannya
03:44
93 percent of those
who say they're doing it
who say they're doing it
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juga meyakini organisasi mereka
menghargai keikutsertaan.
menghargai keikutsertaan.
03:46
also believe their organization
values inclusion.
values inclusion.
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03:50
So clearly, our workplaces
and all of our strange inner voices
and all of our strange inner voices
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Jadi jelas, tempat kerja kita
dan semua suara aneh dalam pikiran kita
dan semua suara aneh dalam pikiran kita
punya perjalanan panjang untuk penerimaan.
03:55
have a long way to go on acceptance.
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Ada perbedaan besar
antara beradaptasi dan menyamar.
antara beradaptasi dan menyamar.
03:57
There's a big difference
between adapting and disguising.
between adapting and disguising.
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Dan saya pikir saya mempelajarinya
sedikit terlambat.
sedikit terlambat.
04:02
And I think I learned that a little late.
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04:04
Personally, I'm taking all of this
as a call to be the ally
as a call to be the ally
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Secara pribadi, saya menganggap semua ini
sebagai panggilan sebagai sekutu,
sebagai panggilan sebagai sekutu,
seperti yang dilakukan atasan saya,
04:08
who, like my boss did for me,
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04:09
lets people know that it's OK to open up.
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membiarkan orang tahu
tidak apa-apa untuk membuka diri.
tidak apa-apa untuk membuka diri.
Jika Anda gay, atau bangga
dengan latar belakang etnik Anda,
dengan latar belakang etnik Anda,
04:12
If you're gay, or proud
of your ethnic background,
of your ethnic background,
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atau memiliki disabilitas,
atau sangat religius,
atau sangat religius,
04:15
or have a disability
or are deeply religious,
or are deeply religious,
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lihat apa yang terjadi dengan
menjadi diri sendiri di tempat kerja.
menjadi diri sendiri di tempat kerja.
04:17
see what it's like
being your full self at work.
being your full self at work.
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Anda akan terkejut.
04:21
You might be pleasantly surprised.
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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Dan Clay - Writer, consultantBy day, Dan Clay is a partner in at a brand and innovation consultancy. His more well-known persona is Carrie Dragshaw.
Why you should listen
Dan Clay is a partner in strategy and innovation for Lippincott, an NYC-based consultancy. His expertise focuses on the strategic growth spaces that emerge from changing customer needs, expectations, fears and desires. In addition to advising financial services, health care and retail clients, Clay is a leading voice in Lippincott's intellectual capital and has authored several reports on how to build emotional bonds with the customer of the future. He graduated with an MBA from Wharton at the University of Pennsylvania and received his undergraduate degree in philosophy at Northwestern University.
Clay's more well-known persona is Carrie Dragshaw. What started as a simple Halloween costume turned into a viral fairy tale. Clay recreates classic Sex and the City looks and accompanies them with original "couldn't help but wonder" monologues. He's been featured in Cosmopolitan, L.A. Times, Us Weekly, the New York Post, BuzzFeed, Man Repeller, Huffington Post, Out, Refinery29, InStyle and more. Carrie Dragshaw has one simple mission: to create a little corner of the internet that is only positivity and love.
Dan Clay | Speaker | TED.com