TEDWomen 2017
Azim Khamisa and Ples Felix: What comes after tragedy? Forgiveness
阿奇姆·卡米萨，普莱斯·菲利克斯: 悲剧之后是什么？是宽恕
Filmed:
Readability: 3.8
1,124,318 views
1995年的一个可怕的夜晚，菲利克斯14岁的孙子在毒品、酒精和一种错误的归宿感的驱使下，杀害了阿齐姆·哈米萨的儿子。这次致命的遭遇使哈米萨和费利克斯走上了沉思的道路，宽恕并被宽恕——在勇敢与和解的行为中，两人相遇并建立了持久的友谊。他们把自己的故事作为一个更美好、更仁慈的社会的轮廓，在那里，悲剧的受害者可以成长并痊愈。准备好被他们难以想象的故事感动吧。“和平是可能的，” 卡米萨说，“我怎么知道？因为我的内心和平。”
Azim Khamisa - Author, peace activist
Azim Khamisa speaks to students and adults on nonviolence, forgiveness and peace-building, and he is a founder of two nonprofit organizations that target youth violence. Full bioPles Felix - Peace activist
Ples Felix is a leader in the Tariq Khamisa Foundation, dedicated to helping stop youth violence. Full bio
Azim Khamisa speaks to students and adults on nonviolence, forgiveness and peace-building, and he is a founder of two nonprofit organizations that target youth violence. Full bioPles Felix - Peace activist
Ples Felix is a leader in the Tariq Khamisa Foundation, dedicated to helping stop youth violence. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:13
Azim Khamisa: We humans
have many defining moments in our lives.
have many defining moments in our lives.
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阿奇姆·卡米萨：我们人类在我们的
生命中有着许多决定性时刻。
生命中有着许多决定性时刻。
00:18
Sometimes these moments are joyous,
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有时这些时刻是快乐的，
00:20
and sometimes they are heartbreaking,
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有些时候他们是令人心碎的，
00:23
tragic.
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悲惨的。
00:25
But at these defining moments,
if we are able to make the right choice,
if we are able to make the right choice,
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但在这些决定性时刻，
如果我们能够做出正确的选择，
如果我们能够做出正确的选择，
00:30
we literally manifest a miracle
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我们就真正创造了一个奇迹，
在自己和其他人之中。
00:33
in us and others.
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00:37
My only son Tariq, a university student,
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我唯一的儿子塔里克，一个大学生，
00:39
kind, generous, a good writer,
a good photographer,
a good photographer,
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善良，慷慨，是个好作家，
一个好的摄影师，
一个好的摄影师，
曾有志于为国家地理工作，
00:44
had aspirations
to work for National Geographic,
to work for National Geographic,
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与一位美丽的女士订婚，
00:47
engaged to a beautiful lady,
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在周五和周六时做披萨送餐员。
00:49
worked as a pizza deliveryman
on Fridays and Saturdays.
on Fridays and Saturdays.
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00:54
He was lured to a bogus address
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他被一个青年帮派引诱到了
一个假地址，
一个假地址，
00:56
by a youth gang.
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00:59
And in a gang initiation,
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在一个团伙发起的袭击中，
01:01
a 14-year-old shot and killed him.
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一个14岁的男孩开枪打死了他。
01:06
The sudden, senseless death
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一个无辜的，手无寸铁的人的
01:10
of an innocent, unarmed human being;
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突然、毫无意义的死亡；
01:15
the overwhelming grief of a family;
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家庭的极度悲伤；
01:18
the total confusion as you try
to absorb a new, hideous reality.
to absorb a new, hideous reality.
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当你试图去吸收一种新的、
丑恶的现实时，完全的困惑；
丑恶的现实时，完全的困惑；
01:25
Needless to say it brought
my life to a crashing halt.
my life to a crashing halt.
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不用说，它使我的生活戛然而止。
01:29
One of the hardest things
I've ever had to do
I've ever had to do
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我曾经做过的最困难的事情
是给他住在另一个城市的
母亲打电话。
母亲打电话。
01:31
was to call his mother,
who lived in a different city.
who lived in a different city.
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你如何告诉一个母亲，
她再也见不到她的儿子了，
她再也见不到她的儿子了，
01:34
How do you tell a mother
she's never going to see her son again,
she's never going to see her son again,
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再也听不到他的笑声，
01:37
or hear him laugh,
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也再也无法给他一个拥抱？
01:39
or give him a hug?
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01:42
I practice as a Sufi Muslim.
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我是个苏菲派穆斯林。
01:44
I meditate two hours a day.
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我每天会冥想两个小时。
01:47
And sometimes,
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而有时候，
01:48
in deep trauma and deep tragedy,
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在深深的悲痛和惨剧中，
有着明晰的火花。
01:52
there is a spark of clarity.
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所以，我在冥想中得到的是，
01:55
So what I downloaded in my meditation
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01:58
is that there were victims
at both ends of the gun.
at both ends of the gun.
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在手枪的两端都有受害者。
02:02
It's easy to see that my son
was a victim of the 14-year-old,
was a victim of the 14-year-old,
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很容易看出我的儿子是一个
十四岁的受害者，
十四岁的受害者，
02:06
a little bit complicated to see
that he was a victim of American society.
that he was a victim of American society.
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而更难看出的是
他是美国社会的受害者。
他是美国社会的受害者。
而这就引发了一个问题，
好吧，谁是美国社会？
好吧，谁是美国社会？
02:12
And that begs the question,
well, who is American society?
well, who is American society?
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02:15
Well, it's you and me,
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这是你和我，
02:16
because I don't believe
that society is just happenstance.
that society is just happenstance.
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因为我并不相信社会仅仅是个偶然。
02:20
I think we are all responsible
for the society we've created.
for the society we've created.
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我想，我们对我们创造的社会
负有责任。
负有责任。
02:25
And children killing children
is not a mark of a civil society.
is not a mark of a civil society.
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而孩子杀害孩子
并不是一个文明社会的标志。
并不是一个文明社会的标志。
所以，塔里克死的九个月后，
02:30
So nine months after Tariq died,
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我开始了塔里克·卡米萨基金会，
02:33
I started the Tariq Khamisa Foundation
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02:35
and our mandate
at the Tariq Khamisa Foundation
at the Tariq Khamisa Foundation
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而我们在塔里克·卡米萨
基金会的使命
基金会的使命
02:38
is to stop kids from killing kids
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是通过打破青少年暴力的循环，
02:41
by breaking the cycle of youth violence.
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阻止孩子杀害孩子。
02:43
And essentially we have three mandates.
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而基本上，我们有三个任务。
我们的第一个，也是最重要的
是为了拯救孩子们的生命。
是为了拯救孩子们的生命。
02:45
Our first and foremost
is to save lives of children.
is to save lives of children.
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02:50
It's important to do.
We lose so many on a daily basis.
We lose so many on a daily basis.
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这是很重要的，
我们每天都会失去这么多孩子。
我们每天都会失去这么多孩子。
我们的第二个任务
02:54
Our second mandate
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02:57
is to empower the right choices
so kids don't fall through the cracks
so kids don't fall through the cracks
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是为了授予正确的选择，
这样孩子就不会掉入裂缝中，
这样孩子就不会掉入裂缝中，
并选择加入帮派，犯罪，
吸食毒品、沉迷 酒精和武器的生活。
吸食毒品、沉迷 酒精和武器的生活。
03:01
and choose lives of gangs and crime
and drugs and alcohol and weapons.
and drugs and alcohol and weapons.
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03:06
And our third mandate is to teach
the principles of nonviolence,
the principles of nonviolence,
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我们的第三个任务是教授
非暴力的标准，
非暴力的标准，
关于同情心，关于同理心，
03:13
of empathy, of compassion,
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关于宽恕。
03:15
of forgiveness.
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03:17
And I started with a very simple premise
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我以一个非常简单的前提开始。
03:19
that violence is a learned behavior.
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暴力是后天习得的行为。
没有一个孩子生来就是暴力的。
03:21
No child was born violent.
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如果你认为这是老生常谈，
03:24
If you accept that as a truism,
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03:27
nonviolence can also be
a learned behavior,
a learned behavior,
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非暴力也可以是一种习得的行为，
03:30
but you have to teach it,
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但你需要教授它。
因为孩子们并不会通过渗透
03:31
because kids are not going to learn that
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学习到这一点。
03:34
through osmosis.
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03:36
Soon after that,
I reached out to my brother here,
I reached out to my brother here,
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不久之后，我联系了我在这儿的兄弟，
03:41
with the attitude
that we had both lost a son.
that we had both lost a son.
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怀着我们都失去了一个儿子的态度。
03:43
My son died.
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我的儿子去世了。
他失去了他的孙子，
孙子进了成人监狱系统。
孙子进了成人监狱系统。
03:44
He lost his grandson
to the adult prison system.
to the adult prison system.
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03:47
And I asked him to join me.
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我请他加入我。
03:48
As you see, 22 years later,
we are still here together,
we are still here together,
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正如你看到的，二十二年后，
我们还在一起，
我们还在一起，
因为我不能让塔里克死而复生，
03:53
because I can't bring Tariq
back from the dead,
back from the dead,
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你不能把托尼带出监狱，
03:55
you can't take Tony out of prison,
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但我们可以做的一件事
03:58
but the one thing we can do
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是确保没有其他年轻人在我们的社区
04:00
is make sure no other young people
in our community
in our community
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最终死亡或最终入狱。
04:03
end up dead or end up in prison.
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04:06
With the grace of God,
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凭借神的恩惠，
04:07
the Tariq Khamisa Foundation
has been successful.
has been successful.
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塔里克·卡米萨基金会很成功。
我们有一个安全学校模式，
04:10
We have a safe school model
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其中包含四个不同的项目。
04:13
which has four different programs.
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第一个是与普莱斯和我一起的
现场集会。
现场集会。
04:15
The first one is a live assembly
with Ples and me.
with Ples and me.
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我们被介绍，
04:18
We are introduced,
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这个男人的孙子杀死了
这个男人的儿子，
这个男人的儿子，
04:20
this man's grandson killed this man's son,
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而在这里，他们在一起。
04:22
and here they are together.
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我们有教室内的课程。
04:23
We have in-classroom curriculum.
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我们有课后辅导计划，
我们创建了一个和平社团。
我们创建了一个和平社团。
04:25
We have an after school mentoring program,
and we create a peace club.
and we create a peace club.
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04:29
And I'm happy to share with you
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而我很高兴和大家分享，
04:31
that besides teaching
these principles of nonviolence,
these principles of nonviolence,
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在教授这些非暴力原则之外，
我们还能够将监禁和被开除的人数
减少百分之七十，
减少百分之七十，
04:35
we are able to cut suspensions
and expulsions by 70 percent,
and expulsions by 70 percent,
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04:40
which is huge.
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而这是巨大的。
04:42
(Applause)
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（掌声）
这是巨大的。
04:43
Which is huge.
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04:45
Five years after Tariq died,
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塔里克死后的五年后，
04:47
and for me to complete
my journey of forgiveness,
my journey of forgiveness,
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为了使我能够完成通向原谅的道路，
我去看了杀死我儿子的年轻人。
04:50
I went to see the young man
who killed my son.
who killed my son.
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那时他十九岁。
04:53
He was 19 years old.
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04:55
And I remember that meeting
because we were --
because we were --
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而我记得那次见面，因为我们——
04:59
he's 37, still in prison --
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他现在三十七岁，仍然在监狱——
但在那第一次会面的时候，
我们锁定了目光。
我们锁定了目光。
05:01
but at that first meeting,
we locked eyeballs.
we locked eyeballs.
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我看着他的眼睛，他看着我的眼睛，
05:04
I'm looking in his eyes,
he's looking in my eyes,
he's looking in my eyes,
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而我看向他的眼睛，试着寻找
一个杀人犯，但我没有找到。
一个杀人犯，但我没有找到。
05:06
and I'm looking in his eyes
trying to find a murderer, and I didn't.
trying to find a murderer, and I didn't.
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我能够爬过他的眼睛，
05:10
I was able to climb through his eyes
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而触及他的人性，而我发现
05:13
and touch his humanity that I got
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他身上的火花，
与我或者其他任何人的火花，
与我或者其他任何人的火花，
05:15
that the spark in him
was no different than the spark in me
was no different than the spark in me
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并没有什么不同。
05:19
or anybody else here.
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05:21
So I wasn't expecting that.
He was remorseful.
He was remorseful.
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这出乎我的意料。他很懊悔。
05:23
He was articulate. He was well-mannered.
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他善于表达。他很有礼貌。
而我能够感受到，
我的宽恕之手改变了他。
我的宽恕之手改变了他。
05:25
And I could tell that my hand
of forgiveness had changed him.
of forgiveness had changed him.
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05:31
So with that, please welcome
my brother, Ples.
my brother, Ples.
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所以现在，
请欢迎我的兄弟，普莱斯。
请欢迎我的兄弟，普莱斯。
（掌声）
05:33
(Applause)
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05:38
Ples Felix: Tony is my one
and only daughter's one and only child.
and only daughter's one and only child.
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普莱斯·菲利克斯：托尼是我
唯一的女儿的唯一的孩子。
唯一的女儿的唯一的孩子。
05:44
Tony was born to my daughter,
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我的女儿生下了托尼，
05:46
who was 15 when she gave birth to Tony.
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生托尼的时候我的女儿十五岁。
05:50
Mothering is the toughest
job on the planet.
job on the planet.
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当母亲是整个地球上最难的工作。
05:54
There is no tougher job on the planet
than raising another human being
than raising another human being
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这世界上，没有比养育另一个人类，
并且确保他们的安全，
并且确保他们的安全，
05:58
and making sure they're safe, secure
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并让他们能在生活中取得成功，
而更难的事了。
06:01
and well-positioned
to be successful in life.
to be successful in life.
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06:04
Tony experienced a lot of violence
in his life as a young kid.
in his life as a young kid.
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作为一个年轻的孩子，托尼
在他的人生中经历了许多暴力。
在他的人生中经历了许多暴力。
06:09
He saw one of his favorite cousins
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他看见了他最喜爱的一位表亲
06:10
be murdered in a hail
of automatic weapon fire
of automatic weapon fire
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在洛杉矶的一场自动武器开火
和团伙袭击中被谋杀。
06:13
and gang involvement in Los Angeles.
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他在很多方面受到了创伤。
06:15
He was very traumatized
in so many different ways.
in so many different ways.
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06:19
Tony came to live with me.
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托尼来到了我这里住。
06:20
I wanted to make sure
he had everything a kid needed
he had everything a kid needed
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我想确保他一个孩子取得成功的
全部条件。
06:23
to be successful.
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06:27
But on this particular evening,
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但在这个特别的夜晚，
06:29
after years of being with me
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在和我相处多年后，
在努力地尝试着取得成功
06:30
and struggling mightily
to try to be successful
to try to be successful
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并且试着达到我的期望来
成为一个成功的人后，
成为一个成功的人后，
06:33
and to live up to my expectations
of being a successful person,
of being a successful person,
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06:37
on this one particular day,
Tony ran away from home that evening,
Tony ran away from home that evening,
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在这特别的一天，
托尼在那天晚上离家出走，
托尼在那天晚上离家出走，
06:40
he went to be with people
he thought were his friends,
he thought were his friends,
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他去和那些他认为的朋友待在一起。
他被给予了毒品和酒精，
06:43
he was given drugs and alcohol
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而他服用了，
06:45
and he took them
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因为他认为，
这会让他感到无忧无虑。
这会让他感到无忧无虑。
06:46
because he thought
they would make him feel carefree.
they would make him feel carefree.
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但这只是让他变得更加焦虑，
06:49
But all it did was
to make his anxiety go higher
to make his anxiety go higher
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并产生了更加......
06:53
and to create a more ...
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06:57
more deadly thinking on his part.
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让他产生了更致命的想法。
07:01
He was invited to a robbery,
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他被邀请加入一场抢劫，
07:02
he was given a 9mm handgun.
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他被给予了一把九毫米手枪，
07:05
And at the presence
of an 18-year-old who commanded him
of an 18-year-old who commanded him
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而在一个指挥他行动的十八岁男孩
07:08
and two 14-year-old boys
he thought were his friends,
he thought were his friends,
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以及两个他当做朋友的
十四岁男孩面前，
十四岁男孩面前，
他枪杀了塔里克·卡米萨，
07:11
he shot and killed Tariq Khamisa,
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这个男人的儿子。
07:14
this man's son.
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07:19
There are no words, there are no words
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没有言语，没有任何言语
能表达出失子之情。
07:22
that can express the loss of a child.
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07:27
At my understanding
that my grandson was responsible
that my grandson was responsible
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在我的理解中，我的孙子
07:29
for the murder of this human being,
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是谋杀这个人类的罪魁祸首。
我去了祈祷室，
就像老人们教的那样，
就像老人们教的那样，
07:31
I went to the prayer closet,
like I was taught by my old folks,
like I was taught by my old folks,
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开始祈祷和冥想。
07:34
and began to pray and meditate.
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卡米萨先生和我的一个共同点是，
07:36
The one thing that Mr. Khamisa
and I have in common,
and I have in common,
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而我们此前并不知道这一点，
除了我们都是好人之外，
除了我们都是好人之外，
07:39
and we didn't know this,
besides being wonderful human beings,
besides being wonderful human beings,
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我们还都会冥想。
07:42
is that we both meditate.
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（笑声）
07:43
(Laughter)
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07:44
It was very helpful for me
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冥想对我很有帮助，
07:46
because it offered me an opportunity
to seek guidance and clarity
to seek guidance and clarity
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因为它给了我一个机会去寻求指导
以及明确在这个损失中，我想
如何支持这个男人和他的家庭。
如何支持这个男人和他的家庭。
07:49
about how I wanted to be of support
of this man and his family in this loss.
of this man and his family in this loss.
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当然，我的祷告得到了回应，
07:55
And sure enough, my prayers were answered,
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因为我被邀请到这个男人的家中
去参加一个会面，
去参加一个会面，
07:57
because I was invited
to a meeting at this man's house,
to a meeting at this man's house,
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我见到了他的母亲，他的父亲，
08:00
met his mother, his father,
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他的妻子，他的兄弟，
见到了他们的家庭，
见到了他们的家庭，
08:03
his wife, his brother, met their family
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并且有机会遇到由这个男人带领的
虔诚的人们，
虔诚的人们，
08:06
and had a chance to be in the presence
of God-spirited people led by this man,
of God-spirited people led by this man,
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他们本着宽恕的精神，
08:11
who in the spirit of forgiveness,
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给了我一条路，给了我一个机会，
08:14
made way, made an opportunity for me
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08:17
to be of value and to share with him
and to share with children
and to share with children
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让我变得有价值，并且能够向他们，
以及向孩子们分享
以及向孩子们分享
08:20
the importance of understanding the need
to be with a responsible adult,
to be with a responsible adult,
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理解和一个有责任感的成年人
在一起的重要性，
在一起的重要性，
以健康的方式关注你的愤怒，
08:25
focus on your anger
in a way that's healthy,
in a way that's healthy,
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学会冥想。
08:28
learn to meditate.
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我们在塔里克·卡米萨基金会
所拥有的项目
所拥有的项目
08:29
The programs that we have
in the Tariq Khamisa Foundation
in the Tariq Khamisa Foundation
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提供了许许多多的工具供孩子们使用
08:32
provide so many tools
for the kids to put in their toolkit
for the kids to put in their toolkit
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这样，他们便可以将这些工具
终身携带。
终身携带。
08:35
so they could carry them
throughout their lives.
throughout their lives.
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让我们的孩子们知道关爱的大人们
08:38
It's important that our children
understand that loving, caring adults
understand that loving, caring adults
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会照顾他们，支持他们，
08:41
care for them and support them,
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但让孩子们学会冥想也很重要，
08:43
but it's also important
that our children learn to meditate,
that our children learn to meditate,
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学会平和，
08:47
learn to be peaceful,
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学会集中精神，
08:49
learn to be centered
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并学会如何以一种友好的，同情的，
08:50
and learn to interact
with the other children
with the other children
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以及有爱的方式
08:52
in a kind, empathetic
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来与其他孩子互动。
08:54
and wonderfully loving way.
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我们的社会需要更多的爱。
08:56
We need more love in our society
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而这就是为什么我们在这里，
与孩子们分享爱，
与孩子们分享爱，
08:58
and that's why we are here
to share the love with children,
to share the love with children,
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因为我们的孩子们将会为我们引路，
09:01
because our children
will lead the way for us,
will lead the way for us,
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因为我们所有人都将依赖
自己的孩子们。
自己的孩子们。
09:04
because all of us
will depend on our children.
will depend on our children.
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当我们变老，退休，
他们会替我们掌管这个世界，
他们会替我们掌管这个世界，
09:07
As we grow older and retire,
they will take over this world for us,
they will take over this world for us,
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所以，我们教给他们多少爱，
他们就会将等量的爱还给我们。
他们就会将等量的爱还给我们。
09:10
so as much love as we teach them,
they will give it back to us.
they will give it back to us.
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祝福。谢谢你们。
09:14
Blessings. Thank you.
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（掌声）
09:15
(Applause)
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09:22
AK: So I was born in Kenya,
I was educated in England,
I was educated in England,
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阿奇姆·卡米萨：我在肯尼亚出生，
我在英国接受教育，
我在英国接受教育，
09:26
and my brother here is a Baptist.
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2736
而这里的我的兄弟是浸礼宗信徒。
我信奉苏菲派穆斯林。
09:28
I practice as a Sufi Muslim.
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1960
09:31
He's African American,
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他是非裔美国人，
09:32
but I always tell him,
I'm the African American in the group.
I'm the African American in the group.
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2896
但我总是告诉他，在组里，我才是
那个非裔美国人。
那个非裔美国人。
我在非洲出生，你不是。
09:35
I was born in Africa. You were not.
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1696
（笑声）
09:37
(Laughter)
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2296
而我自然而然的变成了公民。
09:39
And I naturalized as a citizen.
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2176
我是第一代公民。
09:41
I'm a first-generation citizen.
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1976
而我觉得，作为一位美国公民，
09:43
And I felt that, as an American citizen,
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3776
我必须为我儿子的死
09:47
I must take my share of the responsibility
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3136
担起我的那份责任。
09:50
for the murder of my son.
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2440
09:53
Why? Because it was fired
by an American child.
by an American child.
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3696
为何？因为是一个美国孩子开的火。
09:57
You could take the position,
he killed my one and only son,
he killed my one and only son,
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2896
你可以选择这个立场，
他杀死了我唯一的儿子，
他杀死了我唯一的儿子，
所以他应该被吊死在最高的柱子上。
10:00
he should be hung from the highest pole.
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2240
10:03
How does that improve society?
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那样如何改善社会？
10:06
And I know you are probably wondering
what happened to that young man.
what happened to that young man.
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3400
而我知道你或许在想，
那个年轻人身上发生了什么。
那个年轻人身上发生了什么。
10:10
He's still in prison.
He just turned 37 on September 22,
He just turned 37 on September 22,
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他仍在监狱中。
9月22日的时候他刚满三十七岁，
9月22日的时候他刚满三十七岁，
10:15
but I have some good news.
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但我有一些好消息。
在过去的十二年中，
我们一直在尝试着让他能够出狱。
我们一直在尝试着让他能够出狱。
10:17
We've been trying
to get him out for 12 years.
to get him out for 12 years.
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终于，一年后他会回到我们身边。
10:20
He finally will join us a year from now.
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（掌声）
10:23
(Applause)
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3640
10:30
And I'm very excited to have him join us,
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2736
而我非常高兴能让他加入我们，
10:33
because I know we've saved him,
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因为我知道我们拯救了他，
但他会拯救成千上万的学生们，
10:35
but he will save
tens of thousands of students
tens of thousands of students
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当他在我们经常出席的学校里
10:38
when he shares his testimony
208
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2496
分享他的证词的时候。
10:41
in schools that we are present at
on a regular basis.
on a regular basis.
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3376
当他对孩子们说，
“在十一岁时，我加入了一个帮派。
“在十一岁时，我加入了一个帮派。
10:44
When he says to the kids,
"When I was 11, I joined a gang.
"When I was 11, I joined a gang.
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3336
“在我十四岁时，
我谋杀了卡米萨先生的儿子。
我谋杀了卡米萨先生的儿子。
10:47
When I was 14,
I murdered Mr. Khamisa's son.
I murdered Mr. Khamisa's son.
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“过去的无数年里我在监狱中度过。
10:50
I've spent the last
umpteen years in prison.
umpteen years in prison.
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“我来告诉你：这不值得。”
10:53
I'm here to tell you: it's not worth it,"
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你觉得孩子们会听进这些话吗？
10:56
do you think the kids
will listen to that voice?
will listen to that voice?
214
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2616
会的，因为因为他的语气，
10:59
Yes, because his intonations
215
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2536
是扣动那扳机的人的语气。
11:01
will be of a person
that pulled the trigger.
that pulled the trigger.
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3296
而我知道他想让时光倒流。
11:05
And I know that he wants
to turn the clock back.
to turn the clock back.
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11:10
Of course, that's not possible.
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当然，那是不可能的。
11:12
I wish it was. I would have my son back.
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我倒希望能这样。
这样，我的儿子就能回来。
这样，我的儿子就能回来。
我的兄弟的孙子就能够回来。
11:14
My brother would have his grandson back.
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11:17
So I think that demonstrates
the power of forgiveness.
the power of forgiveness.
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所以我想，那展示了宽恕的力量。
11:23
So what's the big takeaway here?
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那么，这里最重要的一点是什么呢？
11:27
So I want to end
our session with this quote,
our session with this quote,
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我想用这句话结束我们的演讲，
11:30
which is the basis of my fourth book,
224
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2696
这句话是我第四本书的基石，
而巧合的是，
11:32
which incidentally,
225
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那本书的前言是托尼写的。
11:34
the foreword for that book
was written by Tony.
was written by Tony.
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2440
11:38
So it goes like this:
sustained goodwill creates friendship.
sustained goodwill creates friendship.
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3936
所以，这句话是这样的：
持续的善意创造友谊。
持续的善意创造友谊。
11:42
You don't make friends
by bombing them, right?
by bombing them, right?
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你并不会通过轰炸他们
来交朋友，对吗？
来交朋友，对吗？
你通过扩展善意来结交朋友。
11:45
You make friends by extending goodwill.
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这应该是显然易见的。
11:46
That ought to be obvious.
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所以持续的善意创造友谊，
11:48
So sustained goodwill creates friendship,
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持续的友谊创造信任，
11:50
sustained friendship creates trust,
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持续的信任创造同理心，
11:53
sustained trust creates empathy,
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持续的同理心创造怜悯，
11:55
sustained empathy creates compassion,
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而持续的怜悯创造和平。
11:58
and sustained compassion creates peace.
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12:01
I call this my peace formula.
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我将其称作我的和平公式。
12:03
It starts with goodwill, friendship,
trust, empathy, compassion and peace.
trust, empathy, compassion and peace.
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它始于善意，友谊，信任，
同理心，怜悯，与和平。
同理心，怜悯，与和平。
12:09
But people ask me,
how do you extend goodwill
how do you extend goodwill
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但人们问我，你如何将善意延伸到
12:11
to the person who murdered your child?
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谋杀你孩子的那个人身上？
12:14
I tell them, you do that
through forgiveness.
through forgiveness.
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我告诉他们，
你通过宽恕来做到这点。
你通过宽恕来做到这点。
12:17
As it's evident it worked for me.
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而显然，这对我很有效。
这对我的家庭很有效。
12:19
It worked for my family.
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而奇迹的是，它对托尼起效了，
12:21
What's a miracle is it worked for Tony,
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它对托尼的家庭也起效了。
12:24
it worked for his family,
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它对你和你的家人都有效，
12:26
it can work for you and your family,
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对以色列和巴勒斯坦，
北朝鲜和韩国，
北朝鲜和韩国，
12:29
for Israel and Palestine,
North and South Korea,
North and South Korea,
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对伊拉克，阿富汗，伊朗和叙利亚。
12:32
for Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran and Syria.
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它能对美利坚合众国有效。
12:35
It can work for
the United States of America.
the United States of America.
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12:38
So let me leave you with this, my sisters,
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所以，我的姐妹们，
我想把这句话留给你们，
我想把这句话留给你们，
12:41
and a couple of brothers --
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还有一些兄弟们——
（笑声）
12:43
(Laughter)
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1976
和平是可能的。
12:45
that peace is possible.
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1760
12:48
How do I know that?
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我是何以得知的呢？
12:49
Because I am at peace.
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因为我的内心平和。
非常感谢你们。合十礼。
12:51
Thank you very much. Namaste.
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（掌声）
12:53
(Applause)
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ABOUT THE SPEAKERS
Azim Khamisa - Author, peace activistAzim Khamisa speaks to students and adults on nonviolence, forgiveness and peace-building, and he is a founder of two nonprofit organizations that target youth violence.
Why you should listen
Azim Khamisa writes: "I emigrated to the USA in 1974 to escape violence in Kenya, where we were a targeted minority. But 22 years ago, my only son, Tariq, who was a university student and worked a part-time job as a pizza delivery man, was killed by a 14-year-old gang member in a gang initiation ritual. Tariq was only 20 years old when he died, and needless to say it brought my life to a crashing halt. He was a good and a generous kid!
"However, even clouded in a deeply painful tragedy I saw that there were victims on both sides of the gun. Nine months after Tariq died, I founded the Tariq Khamisa Foundation (TKF). Our mission is to save lives of children, empower the right choices and teach the principles of nonviolence — of empathy, compassion, forgiveness and peacemaking. I forgave my son's killer and invited his grandfather to join me in TKF's work. With the grace of God, TKF is 22 years old and has a safe school model and is successfully keeping kids away from gangs, weapons, drugs, crime and violence. The grandfather and I are still together doing this work, and the kid who killed my son is now 36 years old and he will join us when he is paroled in October 2018. I have authored four books and speak worldwide to students and adults. I am a passionate peace activist and a teacher of nonviolence, forgiveness and spawning peacemakers."
Azim Khamisa | Speaker | TED.com
Ples Felix - Peace activist
Ples Felix is a leader in the Tariq Khamisa Foundation, dedicated to helping stop youth violence.
Why you should listen
Ples Felix was a retired Green Beret, working in community development and raising his grandson Tony, trying hard to keep him safe and away from bad influences. But on one horrible night, Tony, in the company of older gang members, shot and killed a pizza delivery driver. It was a moment that changed many lives.
The delivery driver was Tariq Khamisa, a 20-year-old student in San Diego. His grieving father, Azim Khamisa, seeking to find meaning in unfathomable loss, started the Tariq Khamisa Foundation to address youth violence through education, mentorship and community service. And he invited Felix to join him -- because "there was a victim on both ends of that gun." Since 1995, Felix has co-led the Tariq Khamisa Foundation, developing mentorship programs that keep at-risk kids in school and on the right track.
Ples Felix | Speaker | TED.com