ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Dessa - Rapper, singer and writer
Dessa is an internationally touring rapper, singer and writer who built a career by defying genre conventions and audience expectations.

Why you should listen

As a writer, Dessa has contributed to the New York Times, National Geographic Traveler and literary journals across the United States. As a musician, she's recorded critically acclaimed studio albums, co-composed for a 100-voice choir, collaborated with full orchestras and contributed to The Hamilton Mixtape on the invitation of Lin-Manuel Miranda. 

On stage and on the page, Dessa's work is driven by an interest in finding unexpected connections -- between heartache and neuroscience, aerodynamics and grief, or simply between two people who live far away and in disparate circumstances. Her delivery is crafted to balance wit and tenderness, intellectual rigor and a poetic sensibility.  

Dessa started out in Minneapolis, Minnesota as a member of the Doomtree hip-hop crew, a tight-knit group known for their explosive live shows, innovative sound and fiercely independent business model. For years, the seven-member crew shared stages, hotel rooms and head colds building an international following one sweaty show at a time. Dessa's work within the collective and as a solo artist earned several entries on the Billboard Top 200 charts (Chime, Parts of Speech and All Hands). Alone or with Doomtree, she's performed at Lollapalooza, Glastonbury, SXSW, velvet-lined theaters in LA and New York, punk venues in Central Europe, black box rooms from Tijuana to Beijing and once while standing on a wooden chair in South Africa. According to the LA Times, Dessa "sounds like no one else" and was called "a national treasure" by NPR's All Songs Considered.

Since her teenage years, however, Dessa wanted to become a published writer. So while recording and touring as a musician, she continued to write poetry, essays and short stories. Under the Doomtree banner, she began printing short books, some barely larger than a matchbook. In 2013, Doomtree Press published Spiral Bound, a collection of poetry and prose. In 2015, Dessa partnered with Rain Taxi on a poetry chapbook titled A Pound of Steam. On the strength of that collection, a New York literary agent telephoned; within a few years, Dutton Books (Penguin Random House) published her first book-length collection of essays, My Own Devices: True Stories from the Road on Music, Science, and Senseless Love, named one of the best books of 2018 by both NPR and Amazon. She also became a frequent radio contributor: on behalf of Minnesota Public Radio, she's interviewed best-selling authors in front of live audiences (most recently talking with Michael Pollan about his exploration into psychedelic drugs). At WNYC's The Greene Space, she served as Artist in Residence, designing a series called HEARTBREAKERS that investigated research on love, sex and determinism with both scientists and musicians.  

In recent years, Dessa partnered with the Grammy-winning Minnesota Orchestra to stage six sold-out performances at Minneapolis's Orchestra Hall (all arranged by composer/musician Andy Thompson and conducted by Sarah Hicks). The Minnesota Orchestra and Dessa cut a live record together in March of 2019, Sound the Bells: Recorded Live at Orchestra Hall, slated for release in November of 2019.

More profile about the speaker
Dessa | Speaker | TED.com
TEDxWanChai

Dessa: Can we choose to fall out of love?

Dessa: Možemo li se svjesno odljubiti?

Filmed:
2,063,007 views

Koji je najbolji način za preboliti slamanje srca? Reperica i spisateljica Dessa smislila je neobičan pristup tome nakon što je slučajno vidjela TED govor Helen Fisher o stanju mozga zaljubljene osobe. U dosjetljivom govoru, opisuje svoj rad sa neuroznanstvenicom kako bi postigla da se njezin mozak odljubi od njezinog bivšeg -- te dijeli mudrosti o ljubavi koje je usput stekla.
- Rapper, singer and writer
Dessa is an internationally touring rapper, singer and writer who built a career by defying genre conventions and audience expectations. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:12
HelloPozdrav, my nameime is DessaDessa,
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Bok, zovem se Dessa,
00:14
and I'm a memberčlan of a hip-hophip-hop
collectivekolektivan calledzvao DoomtreeThe doomtree.
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članica sam hip-hop skupine Doomtree.
00:18
I'm the one in the tanktenk topvrh.
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Ja sam ova u majici bez rukava.
00:20
(LaughterSmijeh)
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(Smijeh)
00:22
And I make my livingživot as a performingobavljanje,
touringobilazak rapperreper and singerpjevač.
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Zarađujem za život putujući i nastupajući
kao reperica i pjevačica.
00:27
When we performizvesti as a collectivekolektivan,
this is what our showspokazuje look like.
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Kada nastupamo kao skupina,
naši koncerti izgledaju ovako.
00:30
I'm the one in the bootsčizme.
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Ja sam ova u čizmama.
00:32
There's a lot of jumpingskakanje.
There's a lot of sweatingznojenje.
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Ima puno skakanja, ima puno znojenja.
00:35
It's loudglasno. It's very high-energyvisoko-energetske.
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Glasno je, puno je energije.
00:37
SometimesPonekad there are
unintentionalnenamjerno bodytijelo checksprovjerava onstagena pozornici.
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Ponekad dođe do nenamjernih
tjelesnih dodira na sceni.
00:40
SometimesPonekad there are completelypotpuno
intentionalnamjeran bodytijelo checksprovjerava onstagena pozornici.
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Ponekad dođe do sasvim namjernih
tjelesnih dodira na sceni.
00:44
It's kindljubazan of a hybridhibrid betweenizmeđu
an intramuralunutar škole hockeyhokej gameigra and a concertkoncert.
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To je nekakav spoj igre hokeja i koncerta.
00:50
HoweverMeđutim, when I performizvesti
my ownvlastiti musicglazba as a soloSolo artistumjetnik,
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Međutim, kada izvodim svoju glazbu solo,
00:53
I tendskloni to gravitategravitirati towardsza
more melancholyMelankolija soundszvukovi.
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težim melankoličnim zvucima.
00:56
A fewnekoliko yearsgodina agoprije, I gavedali my mommama
the roughhrapav mixesmješavine of a newnovi albumalbum,
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Prije par godina, dala sam majci
nedovršen snimak novog albuma
01:00
and she said, "BabyBeba, it's beautifullijep,
but why is it always so sadtužan?"
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i rekla mi je, "Dušo, ovo je predivno,
ali zašto je uvijek tako tužno?"
01:05
(LaughterSmijeh)
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(Smijeh)
01:06
"You always make musicglazba to bleedkrvarenje out to."
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"Uvijek stvaraš glazbu prikladnu
da se iskrvari uz nju."
01:09
And I thought, "Who are you hangingvješanje
out with that you know that phrasefraza?"
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Pomislila sam, "S kim se to družiš da bi
znala takvu frazu?"
01:12
(LaughterSmijeh)
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(Smijeh)
01:14
But over the coursenaravno of my careerkarijera,
I've writtennapisan so manymnogi sadtužan love songsPjesme
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Ali tijekom svoje karijere napisala sam
toliko tužnih ljubavnih pjesama,
01:18
that I got messagesporuke like this from fansfanovi:
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da sam dobivala ovakve poruke od fanova:
01:19
"ReleaseIzdanje newnovi musicglazba or a bookrezervirati.
I need help with my breakupraspad."
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"Objavi novu pjesmu ili knjigu.
Treba mi pomoć oko prekida."
01:22
(LaughterSmijeh)
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(Smijeh)
01:26
And after performingobavljanje and recordingsnimanje
and touringobilazak those songsPjesme for a long time,
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I nakon što sam jako dugo snimala i
putovala izvodeći te pjesme,
01:30
I foundpronađeno myselfsebe in a positionpoložaj
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našla sam se u situaciji
01:33
in whichkoji my professionalprofesionalac nicheniša
was essentiallyu srži romanticromantičan devastationdevastacija.
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da je moje profesionalno područje
rada bilo romantično uništenje.
01:39
What I hadn'tnije been publicjavnost about, howevermeđutim,
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Ali ono što nije bilo javno, međutim,
01:41
was the factčinjenica that mostnajviše of these songsPjesme
had been writtennapisan about the sameisti guy.
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jest da je većina tih pjesama bila
napisana o istom tipu.
01:45
And for two yearsgodina, we triedpokušala
to sortvrsta ourselvessebe out,
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Dvije godine pokušavali smo
raščistiti našu situaciju,
01:49
and then for fivepet
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zatim još pet
01:51
and on and off for 10.
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i zatim sljedećih 10 godina.
01:53
And I was not only heartbrokenslomljena srca,
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Ne samo da mi je srce bilo slomljeno,
01:56
but I was kindljubazan of embarrassedzbunjen
that I couldn'tne mogu reboundodskakati
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nego sam se i sramila
što se ne mogu oporaviti
02:00
from what other people seemedčinilo se
to recoveroporavak from so regularlyredovito.
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od nečega od čega se drugi ljudi
toliko uobičajeno oporavljaju.
02:06
And even thoughiako I knewznao
it wasn'tnije doing eitherili of us any good,
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Iako sam znala kako ne
činim dobro nijednome od nas,
02:09
I just couldn'tne mogu figurelik out
how to put the love down.
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jednostavno nisam mogla odgonetnuti
kako da se ostavim ljubavi.
Onda, pijući bijelo vino jedne večeri,
02:15
Then, drinkingpiće whitebijela winevino one night,
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02:17
I saw a TEDTED Talk by a womanžena
namedpod nazivom DrDr. HelenHelen FisherFisher,
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pogledala sam TED govor dr. Helen Fisher,
02:20
and she said that in her work, she'dBila
been ableu stanju to mapkarta the coordinateskoordinate of love
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koja je tvrdila da je u svom radu uspjela
odrediti koordinate ljubavi
02:25
in the humanljudski brainmozak.
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u ljudskom mozgu.
02:26
And I thought, well,
if I could find my love in my brainmozak,
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Pomislila sam, pa ako bih mogla
otkriti mjesto ljubavi u svome mozgu,
02:30
maybe I could get it out.
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možda bih je mogla izvući.
02:32
So I wentotišao to TwitterTwitter.
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Pa sam otišla na Twitter.
"Ima li tko pristup laboratoriju
za magnetsku rezonanciju,
02:34
"AnybodyBilo tko got accesspristup to an fMRIfMRI lablaboratorija,
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02:36
like at midnightponoć or something?
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recimo oko ponoći?
02:37
I'll tradetrgovina for backstageiza bine
passesprolazi and whiskeyviski."
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Mijenjam za pristup backstageu i viski."
02:40
(LaughterSmijeh)
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(Smijeh)
02:42
And that's DrDr. CherylCheryl OlmanOlman,
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Ovo je dr. Cheryl Olman,
02:43
who worksdjela at the UniversitySveučilište of Minnesota'sMinnesota je
CenterCentar for MagneticMagnetski ResonanceRezonancija ResearchIstraživanja.
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koja radi u Centru za magnetsku
rezonanciju na Sveučilištu Minnesota.
02:47
She tookuzeo me up on it.
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Prihvatila je moj izazov.
02:49
I explainedobjašnjen DrDr. Fisher'sFisherova protocolprotokol,
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Objasnila sam joj protokol dr. Fisher
02:52
and we decidedodlučio to recreateponovno it
with a sampleuzorak sizeveličina of one, me.
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i odlučile smo ga ponoviti na
uzorku jedne osobe, mene.
02:56
(LaughterSmijeh)
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(Smijeh)
02:57
So I got deckedodjevena out in a pairpar
of forestšuma greenzelena scrubspilinzi,
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Pa su me obukli u šumskozelenu halju,
03:03
and I was laidlaid on a gurneykolica
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polegli na podlogu
03:05
and wheeleds kotačima into an fMRIfMRI machinemašina.
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i poslali u MR uređaj.
03:07
If you're unfamiliarnepoznato with that technologytehnologija,
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Ako vam nije poznata ova tehnologija,
03:09
essentiallyu srži, an fMRIfMRI machinemašina
is a bigvelika, tubularcjevasti magnetmagnet
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MR uređaj je veliki valjkasti magnet
03:12
that trackspjesme the progressnapredak
of deoxygenatedneoksigenizovana ironželjezo in your bloodkrv.
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koji prati protjecanje deoksigeniziranog
željeza u vašoj krvi.
03:17
So it's essentiallyu srži figuringfiguring out
what partsdijelovi of your brainmozak
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Zapravo procjenjuje koji
dijelovi važeg mozga
03:19
are makingizrađivanje the biggestnajveći metabolicmetabolički demandzahtijevajte
at any givendan momenttrenutak.
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stvaraju najveće metaboličke zahtjeve
u svakom pojedinom trenutku.
03:22
And in that way, it can figurelik out
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Tako može odgonetnuti
03:24
whichkoji structuresstrukture
are associatedpovezan with a taskzadatak,
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koje strukture su
povezane s kojim zadatkom,
03:26
like tappingkuckanje your fingerprst, for exampleprimjer,
will always lightsvjetlo up the sameisti regionregija,
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primjerice, tapkanje prstom će
uvijek osvijetliti isto područje,
03:30
or in my casespis,
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ili u mome slučaju,
03:31
looking at picturesSlike of your ex-boyfriendbivši dečko
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gledanje fotografija bivšeg dečka,
03:34
and then looking at picturesSlike of a dudeStari
who just sortvrsta of resembledsliči my ex-boyfriendbivši dečko
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a zatim gledanje fotografija tipa koji
liči na mog bivšeg dečka
03:38
but for whomkome I had no strongjak feelingsosjećaji.
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ali za kog nemam snažnih osjećaja.
03:40
He was the controlkontrolirati.
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On je bio kontrolna grupa.
03:41
(LaughterSmijeh)
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(Smijeh)
03:43
And when I left the machinemašina,
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Kada sam izašla iz uređaja,
03:45
we had these really
high-resolutionvisoka rezolucija imagesslika of my brainmozak.
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dobili smo ove slike mog mozga
u vrlo visokoj rezoluciji.
03:50
We could cleaveprilijepiti the two halvespolovice apartosim.
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Mogli smo razdvojiti polovice.
03:53
We could inflatenapuhati the cortexkorteks to see
insideiznutra all of the wrinklesbora, essentiallyu srži,
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Mogli smo uvećati moždanu koru i
pogledati u svaki nabor,
03:59
in a viewpogled that DrDr. CherylCheryl OlmanOlman
calledzvao the "brainmozak skinkoža rugtepih."
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kroz pogled koji dr. Olman naziva
"tepihom od moždane kože".
04:02
(LaughterSmijeh)
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(Smijeh)
04:04
And we could see how my brainmozak had behavedponašao
when I lookedgledao at imagesslika of bothoba menmuškarci.
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Mogli smo vidjeti kako se moj mozak
ponašao gledajući slike oba muškarca.
04:11
And this was importantvažno.
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Ovo je bilo važno.
04:12
We could trackstaza all of the activityaktivnost
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Mogli smo vidjeti svu aktivnost
04:15
when I lookedgledao at the controlkontrolirati
and when I lookedgledao at my exbivši,
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kada sam gledala u kontrolnog tipa
i kada sam gledala u svog bivšeg,
04:18
and it was in comparinguspoređivanje these datapodaci setssetovi
that we'dmi bismo be ableu stanju to find the love alonesam,
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a uspoređujući ta dva seta podataka
pronaći ćemo samu ljubav,
04:22
in the sameisti way that, if I were
to stepkorak on a scaleljestvica fullypotpuno dressedobučen
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na isti način kao kada bih stala
na vagu potpuno odjevena
04:26
and then stepkorak on it again nakedgo,
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i zatim ponovno bez odjeće,
04:29
the differencerazlika betweenizmeđu those numbersbrojevi
would be the weighttežina of my clothingodjeća.
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razlika u tim brojevima bila bi
težina moje odjeće.
04:32
So when we did that datapodaci comparisonusporedba,
we subtractedoduzeti one from the other,
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Kada smo obavili tu usporedbu podataka,
oduzeli smo jedne od drugih,
04:36
we foundpronađeno activityaktivnost in exactlytočno the regionsregije
that DrDr. FisherFisher would have predictedpredvidjeti.
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pronašli smo aktivnost upravo
u području koje je predvidjela dr. Fisher.
04:42
That's me.
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Ovo sam ja.
04:44
And that's my brainmozak in love.
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A ovo je moj zaljubljeni mozak.
Postojala je aktivnost u toj narančastoj
točkici, ventralno-tegmentalnom području,
04:47
There was activityaktivnost in that little
orangenarančasta dottočka, the ventralsmo bočne tegmentaltegmentalnog areapodručje,
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04:50
that kindljubazan of looppetlja of redcrvena
is the anteriorprednji cingulatepojasnoj
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ova crvena zavojnica je prednji cingulum,
04:54
and that goldenzlatan setset of hornsrogovi
is the caudatesu vezi s uzrokom.
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a ovaj zlatni set rogova je repata jezgra.
Nakon što je uzela vremena da
analizira podatke sa svojim timom
04:59
After she had had time to analyzeanalizirati
the datapodaci with her teamtim
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05:02
and a couplepar of partnerspartneri, AndreaAndrea and PhilPhil,
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i nekoliko suradnika, Andreom i Philom,
05:04
CherylCheryl sentposlao me an imageslika, a singlesingl slideklizanje.
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Cheryl mi je poslala jednu sliku, presjek.
05:08
It was my brainmozak in crosskriž sectionodjeljak,
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To je bio presjek moga mozga,
05:11
with one brightsvijetao dottočka of activityaktivnost
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s jednom točkom aktivnosti
05:13
that representedzastupljeni
my feelingsosjećaji for this dudeStari.
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koja je predstavljala
moje osjećaje za tog tipa.
05:18
And I'd knownznan I was in love,
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Znala sam da sam zaljubljena,
05:20
and that's the wholečitav reasonrazlog
I was going to these outrageouspretjeran lengthsduljine.
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to je bio i razlog zašto sam
otišla ovoliko daleko.
05:23
But havingima an imageslika that proveddokazao it
feltosjećala like suchtakav a vindicationoslobođenje,
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Ali imati sliku kao dokaz za to
doimalo se kao oslobođenje.
05:28
like, "Yeah, it's all in my headglava,
but now I know exactlytočno where."
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Bilo je, "Da, sve je to u mojoj glavi,
ali sada znam točno gdje."
05:31
(LaughterSmijeh)
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(Smijeh)
05:35
And I alsotakođer feltosjećala like an assassinubojica
who had her markocjena.
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A osjećala sam se i kao ubojica
koji vidi svoju metu.
05:39
That was what I had to annihilateuništiti.
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To je to što moram uništiti.
05:42
So I decidedodlučio to embarkukrcati se
on a coursenaravno of treatmentliječenje
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Pa sam odlučila početi sa serijom tretmana
05:46
calledzvao "neurofeedbackneurofeedback."
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zvanih "neurofeedback".
05:49
I workedradio with a womanžena namedpod nazivom
PenijeanPenijean GracefireGracefire,
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Radila sam sa Penijean Gracefire,
05:52
and she explainedobjašnjen that what we'dmi bismo be doing
was trainingtrening my brainmozak.
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koja mi je objasnila da ćemo
trenirati moj mozak.
05:56
We're not lobotomizinglobotomizirati anything.
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Nema nikakve lobotomije.
05:58
We're trainingtrening it in the way
that we would trainvlak a musclemišić,
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Treniramo ga baš kao što
bismo trenirali mišić,
06:01
so that it would be flexiblefleksibilno enoughdovoljno
and resilientelastičan enoughdovoljno
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kako bi bio dovoljno gibljiv i otporan
06:04
to respondodgovarati appropriatelyodgovarajući
to my circumstancesokolnosti.
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da prikladno odgovori mojim okolnostima.
06:07
So when we're on the treadmilltraka za trčanje,
we would anticipatepredvidjeti
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Kada smo na trkaćoj traci, predviđamo
06:10
that our heartsrce would beatpobijediti and poundfunta,
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da će nam srce snažno lupati,
06:13
and when we're asleepzaspao,
we would askpitati that that musclemišić slowusporiti.
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a dok spavamo, zatražit ćemo od
tog mišića da uspori.
06:17
SimilarlyNa sličan način, when I'm in a long-termdugoročno,
viablesposoban za život, lovingkoji voli romanticromantičan relationshipodnos,
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Slično tome, kada sam u dugoročnoj,
održivoj, ispunjenoj ljubavnoj vezi,
06:21
the emotionalemotivan centerscentri
of my brainmozak should engageangažirati,
117
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emocionalni centri u mom mozgu
bi trebali biti aktivni,
06:24
and when I'm not in a long-termdugoročno,
viablesposoban za život, emotionalemotivan, lovingkoji voli relationshipodnos,
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a kada nisam u dugoročnoj,
održivoj, ispunjenoj ljubavnoj vezi,
06:28
they should eventuallyeventualno chillstuden out.
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trebali bi se kad-tad opustiti.
06:32
So she camedošao over with a setset of electrodeselektrode
just smallermanji than a dimedeset centi
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Došla je k meni sa setom elektroda
manjih od novčića
06:37
that were sensitiveosjetljiv enoughdovoljno
to detectotkriti my brainwavesmoždani valovi
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koji su bili dovoljno osjetljivi
da prepoznaju moje moždane valove
06:39
throughkroz my bonekost and hairdlaka and scalpskalp.
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kroz moje kosti, kosu i lubanju.
06:42
And when she riggednamještena me up,
I could see my brainmozak workingrad in realstvaran time.
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Kada me je prikopčala, mogla sam
vidjeti rad svog mozga u realnom vremenu.
06:49
And in anotherjoš viewpogled that she showedpokazala me,
124
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U drugom prizoru koji mi je pokazala,
06:51
I could see exactlytočno whichkoji partsdijelovi
of my brainmozak were hyperactivehiperaktivna,
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mogla sam vidjeti točno one
dijelove mozga koji su bili hiperaktivni,
06:55
here displayedprikazati in redcrvena;
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ovdje obojane crveno;
06:56
hypoactivehypoactive, here displayedprikazati in blueplava;
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hipoaktivni, obojani u plavo;
06:58
and the healthyzdrav thresholdprag of behaviorponašanje,
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i zdravi prag ponašanja,
07:01
the greenzelena zonezona, the GoldilocksZlatokosa zonezona,
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zeleno područje, Zlatokosino područje,
07:04
whichkoji is where I wanted to go.
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kamo sam željela ići.
07:05
And we can, in factčinjenica, isolateizolirati
just those partsdijelovi of my brainmozak
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Zapravo, možemo izdvojiti upravo
te dijelove mog mozga
07:08
that were associatedpovezan
with the romanticromantičan regulationregulacija
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koji su povezani s romantičnom regulacijom
07:11
that we'dmi bismo identifiedidentificirati in the FisherFisher studystudija.
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i koje je otkrila studija dr. Fisher.
07:14
So PenijeanPenijean, severalnekoliko timesputa,
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Pa me je Penijean nekoliko puta
07:19
hookedzakačen me up with all her electrodeselektrode,
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spojila na sve te elektrode
07:22
and she explainedobjašnjen that I didn't
have to do or think anything.
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i objasnila mi je da ne moram ništa
činiti niti misliti.
07:25
I just essentiallyu srži
had to holddržati prettyprilično still
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Trebala sam samo ostati mirna
07:28
and stayboravak awakebudan
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i budna
07:30
and watch.
139
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1278
i gledati.
07:33
(HarpHarfa and vibraphonevibrafon soundszvukovi playigrati)
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(Zvukovi harfe i vibrafona)
07:37
So I did.
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To sam i učinila.
07:39
And everysvaki time my brainmozak operatedoperiran
in that healthyzdrav thresholdprag,
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Svaki put kada bi moj mozak radio
na zdravom pragu,
07:42
I got a little runtrčanje of harpharfa
or vibraphonevibrafon musicglazba.
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dobila sam kratak zvuk glazbe
harfe i vibrafona.
07:48
And I just watchedgledao my brainmozak rotaterotirati
at roughlygrubo the speedubrzati of a gyrožiro machinemašina
144
456145
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I samo sam promatrala svoj mozak
kako se rotira brzinom zvrka
07:52
on my dad'stata flat-screenplazma TVTV.
145
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1918
na televizoru moga oca.
07:55
And that was counterintuitivecounterintuitive.
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To nije vodilo u očekivanom smjeru.
07:57
She said the learningučenje would be
essentiallyu srži unconsciousbez svijesti.
147
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Rekla je da će se učenje zapravo
odvijati nesvjesno.
07:59
But then I thought about
the other things I had learnednaučeno
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Ali tada sam razmišljala
o drugim stvarima koje sam naučila
08:02
withoutbez activelyaktivno engagingprivlačan
my conscioussvjestan mindum.
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bez svjesnog korištenja svoje svijesti.
08:04
When you ridevožnja a bikebicikl,
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Kada vozite bicikl,
08:06
I don't really know what, like,
my left calftele musclemišić is doing,
151
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zapravo nemam pojma što, naprimjer,
radi mišić moga lijevog bedra,
08:10
or how my latissimusnajširi dorsileđni knowszna
to engageangažirati when I wobblenjihati se to the right.
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ili kako moj leđni mišić zna
što činiti ako krenem udesno.
08:13
The bodytijelo just learnsuči.
153
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1200
Tijelo jednostavno nauči.
08:15
And similarlyslično, Pavlov'sPavlov je dogspsi probablyvjerojatno
don't know a lot about, like,
154
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4117
Slično tome, Pavlovljevi psi vjerojatno
ne znaju previše o, recimo,
08:19
proteinprotein structuresstrukture
or the waveformvalnog oblika of a ringingzvoni bellzvono,
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proteinskim strukturama
ili valovima zvuka zvona,
08:23
but they salivateSalivacija nonethelessipak
because the bodytijelo pairedu paru the stimulipodražaje.
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ali ipak otpuštaju slinu jer je
tijelo uparilo ta dva podražaja.
08:27
FinishedZavršio the sessionssjednice,
157
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Završila sam seriju tretmana,
08:29
wentotišao back to DrDr. CherylCheryl
Olman'sOlman fMRIfMRI machinemašina,
158
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vratila sam se u MR uređaj
dr. Cheryl Olman,
08:33
and we repeatedponovljen the protocolprotokol,
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ponovili smo protokol,
08:34
the sameisti imagesslika --
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iste fotografije --
08:36
of the exbivši, of the controlkontrolirati and,
in the interestinteres of scientificznanstvena rigorstrogost,
161
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moj bivši, kontrolni tip, a za potrebe
znanstvene nepristranosti,
08:40
CherylCheryl and her teamtim
didn't know who was who,
162
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2231
Cheryl i njezin tim
nisu znali koji je koji,
08:43
so that they couldn'tne mogu
influenceutjecaj the resultsrezultati.
163
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2152
kako ne bi mogli utjecati na ishod.
08:47
And after she had time
to analyzeanalizirati that seconddrugi setset of datapodaci,
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Nakon što je analizirala
drugi set podataka,
08:51
she sentposlao me that imageslika.
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poslala mi je ovu sliku.
08:53
She said,
166
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Rekla je,
08:55
"DudeStari A'sČlana dominancedominacija of your brainmozak
167
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"Prisutnost tipa A u tvome mozgu
08:58
seemsčini se to essentiallyu srži have been eradicatediskorijenjena.
168
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izgleda osjetno izbrisanom.
09:00
I think this is the desiredželjeni resultproizlaziti,"
commazarez, yes, questionpitanje markocjena.
169
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4182
Mislim da je to poželjan ishod",
zarez, da, upitnik.
09:04
(LaughterSmijeh)
170
532788
2379
(Smijeh)
09:07
And that was the exactlytočno
the desiredželjeni resultproizlaziti.
171
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2132
To i jest bio upravo željeni ishod.
09:10
And finallykonačno, I alloweddopušteno myselfsebe
a momenttrenutak to introspectintrospet,
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Konačno sam si dozvolila
trenutak introspekcije,
09:13
like, how did I feel?
173
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kako sam se osjećala?
09:17
And in one way, it feltosjećala like
174
545316
1699
S jedne strane, bilo je kao
09:20
it was the sameisti inventoryinventar of feelingsosjećaji
that I'd had at the outsetpočetka.
175
548452
3692
da imam isti raspon osjećaja
koje sam imala i ranije.
09:24
This isn't "EternalVječni SunshineSunce
of the SpotlessBez mane MindUm."
176
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Ovo nije film
"Vječni sjaj nepobjedivog uma."
09:26
The dudeStari wasn'tnije a strangerstranac.
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Tip nije bio stranac.
09:28
But I'd had love and jealousyLjubomora
and amityAmity and attractionprivlačnost and respectpoštovanje
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Ali imala sam ljubav i ljubomoru
i prijateljstvo i privlačnost i poštovanje
09:35
and all those complicatedsložen feelingsosjećaji
that you amassOsnivanju after long-termdugoročno love.
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i sve te zamršene osjećaje koje
nakupite nakon dugotrajne ljubavi.
09:40
But it feltosjećala like the benevolentdobronamjeran feelingsosjećaji
had risenuskrsnuo to the surfacepovršinski,
180
568396
5359
Ali osjetila sam kao da su dobroćudni
osjećaji isplivali na površinu,
09:46
and the feelingsosjećaji of fixationfiksacija
and the less-generousmanje velikodušni feelingsosjećaji
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4556
a osjećaji ovisnosti i manje
velikodušni osjećaji
09:52
weren'tnisu quitedosta so presentpredstaviti.
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više nisu bili prisutni.
09:54
And that soundszvukovi like
a smallmali thing in some way,
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To nekako zvuči kao mala stvar,
09:56
this resequencingResekvenciranje of feelingsosjećaji,
184
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to preraspodjeljivanje osjećaja,
09:58
but to me it feltosjećala like the biggestnajveći thing.
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ali za mene je to bila ogromna stvar.
10:00
Like, if I told you,
186
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1778
Ako bih vam rekla,
10:02
"I'm going to anesthetizeanesteziju you,
187
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2000
"Dat ću ti anesteziju
10:04
and I'm alsotakođer going to take out
your wisdommudrost teethzubi,"
188
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2626
i izvadit ću ti umnjake",
10:07
it would really matterstvar to you the sequenceslijed
in whichkoji I did those two things.
189
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stvarno bi vam bio bitan
redoslijed tih dviju stvari.
10:10
(LaughterSmijeh)
190
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(Smijeh)
10:14
And I alsotakođer feltosjećala like
191
602266
1878
Također sam se osjećala
10:16
I'd had this really unusualneuobičajen
philosophicalfilozofski privilegeprivilegija
192
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kao da imam tu neobičnu
filozofsku povlasticu
10:20
to understandrazumjeti love.
193
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da razumijem ljubav.
10:24
The lablaboratorija offeredponudio to 3D-printD-ispis my caudatecaudate.
194
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Laboratorij mi je ponudio
3D ispis moje repate jezgre.
10:29
I got to holddržati love in my handruka.
195
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2073
Mogla sam držati ljubav u ruci.
10:31
(LaughterSmijeh)
196
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(Smijeh)
10:33
And then I bronzedbronиana it,
197
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1167
Obavila sam je broncom
10:34
and I madenapravljen it into a necklaceogrlica and soldprodan
it at the merchmerch tablestol at my showspokazuje.
198
622392
3471
i pretvorila u ogrlicu koju sam
prodala na štandu tijekom koncerata.
10:37
(LaughterSmijeh)
199
625887
2782
(Smijeh)
10:40
(ApplausePljesak)
200
628693
6347
(Pljesak)
10:47
And then, with the help of a couplepar
of friendsprijatelji back in MinneapolisMinneapolis,
201
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3664
A zatim, uz pomoć nekoliko
prijatelja iz Minneapolisa,
10:51
one of them BeckyBecky,
202
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1657
jedna od njih je Becky,
10:53
we madenapravljen an enormousogroman discodisko balllopta of it --
203
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2571
napravili smo od nje ogromnu disko kuglu
10:55
(LaughterSmijeh)
204
643783
1464
(Smijeh)
10:57
that could descendspuštaju
from the ceilingstrop at my bigvelika showspokazuje.
205
645271
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koja se spuštala sa stropa na
mojim većim koncertima.
11:01
And I feltosjećala like I'd had the opportunityprilika
to better understandrazumjeti love,
206
649057
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Osjećala sam da imam priliku
bolje razumjeti ljubav,
11:05
even the compulsivekompulzivno partsdijelovi.
207
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čak i ovisničke dijelove.
11:09
It isn't a neaturedan, symmetricalsimetričan
Valentine'sValentinovo heartsrce.
208
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To nije uredno, simetrično,
valentinsko srce.
11:12
It's bodilytjelesan, it's systemicsistemski,
209
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Ona je tjelesna, sustavna,
11:15
it is a hideousodvratan pairpar of ram'sRAM je hornsrogovi
buriedpokopan somewherenegdje deepduboko withinunutar your skulllubanja,
210
663118
4996
ona je grozomoran par ovčjih rogova
utisnutih duboko u vašoj lubanji,
11:20
and when that specialposeban boydječak walksšetnje by,
211
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2320
i kada taj poseban momak prođe pored vas,
11:22
it lightssvjetla up,
212
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1429
upali se,
11:23
and if he likessviđa you back
and you make eachsvaki other happysretan,
213
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a ako se i vi njemu sviđate
i usrećujete jedno drugo,
11:26
then you fanventilator the flamesplamen.
214
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1619
onda se raspiruju plamenovi.
11:28
And if he doesn't,
215
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A ako mu se ne sviđate,
11:29
then you assemblesastaviti a teamtim
of neuroscientistsNeuroznanstvenici
216
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onda skupite tim neuroznanstvenika
11:32
to snuffburmut them out by forcesila.
217
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da ga silom istjerate.
11:33
(LaughterSmijeh)
218
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1910
(Smijeh)
11:35
ThanksHvala.
219
683641
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Hvala.
11:36
(ApplausePljesak)
220
684900
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(Pljesak)
Translated by Martina Peraic
Reviewed by Sanda Liker

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Dessa - Rapper, singer and writer
Dessa is an internationally touring rapper, singer and writer who built a career by defying genre conventions and audience expectations.

Why you should listen

As a writer, Dessa has contributed to the New York Times, National Geographic Traveler and literary journals across the United States. As a musician, she's recorded critically acclaimed studio albums, co-composed for a 100-voice choir, collaborated with full orchestras and contributed to The Hamilton Mixtape on the invitation of Lin-Manuel Miranda. 

On stage and on the page, Dessa's work is driven by an interest in finding unexpected connections -- between heartache and neuroscience, aerodynamics and grief, or simply between two people who live far away and in disparate circumstances. Her delivery is crafted to balance wit and tenderness, intellectual rigor and a poetic sensibility.  

Dessa started out in Minneapolis, Minnesota as a member of the Doomtree hip-hop crew, a tight-knit group known for their explosive live shows, innovative sound and fiercely independent business model. For years, the seven-member crew shared stages, hotel rooms and head colds building an international following one sweaty show at a time. Dessa's work within the collective and as a solo artist earned several entries on the Billboard Top 200 charts (Chime, Parts of Speech and All Hands). Alone or with Doomtree, she's performed at Lollapalooza, Glastonbury, SXSW, velvet-lined theaters in LA and New York, punk venues in Central Europe, black box rooms from Tijuana to Beijing and once while standing on a wooden chair in South Africa. According to the LA Times, Dessa "sounds like no one else" and was called "a national treasure" by NPR's All Songs Considered.

Since her teenage years, however, Dessa wanted to become a published writer. So while recording and touring as a musician, she continued to write poetry, essays and short stories. Under the Doomtree banner, she began printing short books, some barely larger than a matchbook. In 2013, Doomtree Press published Spiral Bound, a collection of poetry and prose. In 2015, Dessa partnered with Rain Taxi on a poetry chapbook titled A Pound of Steam. On the strength of that collection, a New York literary agent telephoned; within a few years, Dutton Books (Penguin Random House) published her first book-length collection of essays, My Own Devices: True Stories from the Road on Music, Science, and Senseless Love, named one of the best books of 2018 by both NPR and Amazon. She also became a frequent radio contributor: on behalf of Minnesota Public Radio, she's interviewed best-selling authors in front of live audiences (most recently talking with Michael Pollan about his exploration into psychedelic drugs). At WNYC's The Greene Space, she served as Artist in Residence, designing a series called HEARTBREAKERS that investigated research on love, sex and determinism with both scientists and musicians.  

In recent years, Dessa partnered with the Grammy-winning Minnesota Orchestra to stage six sold-out performances at Minneapolis's Orchestra Hall (all arranged by composer/musician Andy Thompson and conducted by Sarah Hicks). The Minnesota Orchestra and Dessa cut a live record together in March of 2019, Sound the Bells: Recorded Live at Orchestra Hall, slated for release in November of 2019.

More profile about the speaker
Dessa | Speaker | TED.com