TED2010
Julia Sweeney: It's time for "The Talk"
Džulija Svini ima reč
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Uprkos svom trudu, komičarka Džulija Svini je prisiljena da izgovori neke malecke laži kada njena osmogodišnja ćerka uči u školi o razmožavanju žaba, i počinje da postavlja neka veoma pametna pitanja.
Julia Sweeney - Actor, comedian, playwright
Julia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith. Full bio
Julia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:15
I have a daughter, Mulan.
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Imam ćerku, Mulan.
00:17
And when she was eight, last year,
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I kada je imala osam godina, prošle godine,
00:20
she was doing a report for school
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radila je seminarski rad za školu,
00:22
or she had some homework about frogs.
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ili neki domaći zadatak o žabama.
00:24
And we were at this restaurant,
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Bili smo u jednom restoranu
00:26
and she said, "So, basically,
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kada mi je rekla, "Dakle, zapravo,
00:28
frogs lay eggs
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žabe ležu jaja,
00:30
and the eggs turn into tadpoles,
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jaja se pretvore u punoglavce
00:32
and tadpoles turn into frogs."
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i punoglavci se pretvore u žabe."
00:34
And I said, "Yeah. You know, I'm not really up on my frog reproduction that much.
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Odgovorila sam, "Da. Znaš, nisam baš upućena u razmnožavanje žaba.
00:37
It's the females, I think, that lay the eggs,
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Mislim da ženke ležu jaja.
00:39
and then the males fertilize them.
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I onda ih muškarci oplode.
00:41
And then they become tadpoles and frogs."
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I onda oni postanu punoglavci i zatim žabe."
00:43
And she says, "What? Only the females have eggs?"
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Onda je ona rekla, "Šta, samo ženke imaju jaja?".
00:45
And I said, "Yeah."
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Odgovorila sam, "Da."
00:47
And she goes, "And what's this fertilizing?"
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A ona je nastavila, "A šta je ta oplodnja?"
00:49
So I kind of said, "Oh, it's this extra ingredient,
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Pa sam ja rekla nešto kao, "Oh, to je dodatni sastojak,
00:51
you know, that you need
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koji je potreban
00:53
to create a new frog
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da se stvori nova žaba
00:55
from the mom and dad frog." (Laughter)
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od mame i tate žabe."
00:57
And she said, "Oh, so is that true for humans too?"
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Zatim je rekla, "O, to važi i za ljude?"
01:00
And I thought, "Okay, here we go."
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I onda sam pomislila, "Ok, stigli smo i do toga."
01:03
I didn't know it would happen so quick, at eight.
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Nisam znala da će se desiti tako brzo, već u osmoj godini.
01:05
I was trying to remember all the guidebooks,
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Pokušavala sam da se prisetim svih priručnika,
01:07
and all I could remember was,
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i sve što mi je padalo na pamet bilo je
01:09
"Only answer the question they're asking.
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"Jedino odgovarajte na ono što vas pitaju
01:11
Don't give any more information." (Laughter)
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Nikada ne dajte više informacija."
01:14
So I said, "Yes."
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Pa sam tako rekla, "Da".
01:16
And she said, "And where do, um,
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A ona je pitala, "A gde,
01:19
where do human women,
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gde žene
01:21
like, where do women lay their eggs?"
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polažu jaja?"
01:23
And I said, "Well,
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Odgovorila sam, "Pa,
01:25
funny you should ask. (Laughter)
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baš dobro što pitaš.
01:28
We have evolved to have our own pond.
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Mi smo se razvili tako da imamo naše sopstveno jezerce.
01:31
We have our very own pond inside our bodies.
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Naše jezero unutar našeg tela.
01:34
And we lay our eggs there,
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I tamo polažemo svoja jaja.
01:36
we don't have to worry about other eggs or anything like that.
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Tako da ne moramo da brinemo o drugim jajima ili bilo čemu sličnom.
01:39
It's our own pond. And that's how it happens."
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To je naše lično jezero. I tako se to desi."
01:42
And she goes, "Then how do they get fertilized?"
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Na to će ona, "A kako se oplode?"
01:44
And I said, "Well,
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Moj odgovor, "Pa,
01:46
Men, through their penis,
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muškarci, kroz svoj penis,
01:49
they fertilize the eggs by the sperm coming out.
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oplode jaja spermom koja izlazi napolje.
01:52
And you go through the woman's vagina."
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I beba izađe kroz žensku vaginu."
01:55
And so we're just eating, and her jaw just drops,
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I u sred ručka, njena vilica se oklembesila,
01:57
and she goes, "Mom!
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i uzviknula je, "Mama!
01:59
Like, where you go to the bathroom?"
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To je ono gde piškiš?"
02:02
And I said, "I know.
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A ja sam rekla, "Znam.
02:04
I know."
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Znam."
02:06
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
02:12
That's how we evolved. It does seem odd.
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Tako smo se razvili. Stvarno izgleda čudno.
02:14
It is a little bit like having a waste treatment plant
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Kao da se postrojenje za kanalizaciju
02:17
right next to an amusement park ...
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nalazi odmah pored luna parka.
02:20
Bad zoning, but ..." (Laughter)
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Loše pozicioniranje. Ali...
02:22
She's like, "What?" And she goes, "But Mom,
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Ona odgovara, "Šta?" i nastavlja, "Ali mama,
02:25
but men and women can't ever see each other naked, Mom.
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muškarci i ženene ne smeju nikada videti jedno drugo goli, mama.
02:28
So how could that ever happen?"
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Kako se to uopšte onda ikada desi?"
02:30
And then I go, "Well," and then I put my Margaret Mead hat on.
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Onda sam stavila moj Margaret Mid šešir.
02:34
"Human males and females
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"Muškarci i žene
02:36
develop a special bond,
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razviju posebnu vezu,
02:39
and when they're much older, much, much older than you,
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i kada su mnogo stariji, mnogo, mnogo stariji od tebe,
02:42
and they have a very special feeling,
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imaju specijalna osećanja,
02:44
then they can be naked together."
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i onda mogu da budu zajedno goli."
02:46
And she said, "Mom,
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Ona će na to, "Mama,
02:48
have you done this before?"
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da li si ti to uradila nekada?"
02:50
And I said, "Yes."
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Rekla sam, "Da."
02:53
And she said, "But Mom, you can't have kids."
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A ona je odgovorila, "Ali mama, ti ne možeš da imaš decu."
02:55
Because she knows that I adopted her and that I can't have kids.
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Jer zna da sam je usvojila i da ne mogu da imam dece.
02:57
And I said, "Yes."
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Ja sam rekla, "Da."
02:59
And she said, "Well, you don't have to do that again."
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Ona će, "Pa, barem ne moraš da to radiš ponovo."
03:01
And I said, "..."
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Na šta sam ja rekla, "...."
03:04
And then she said, "But how does it happen when a man and woman are together?
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A onda je pitala, "Ali kako se to dogodi kad su muškarac i žena zajedno?
03:07
Like, how do they know that's the time?
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Na primer, kako znaju kada je vreme za to?
03:09
Mom, does the man just say,
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Da li muškarac samo kaže,
03:11
'Is now the time to take off my pants?'"
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"Da li je vreme da skinem pantalone?"
03:13
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
03:15
And I said, "Yes."
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I ja sam rekla, "Da."
03:17
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
03:19
"That is exactly right.
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"To je tačno.
03:22
That's exactly how it happens."
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Tačno tako se desi."
03:24
So we're driving home and she's looking out the window, and she goes,
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Onda smo se vozile kući, a ona je gledala kroz prozor i pitala me,
03:27
"Mom. What if two just people saw each other on the street,
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"Mama, šta ako se dvoje ljudi vide na ulici,
03:29
like a man and a woman, they just started doing it. Would that ever happen?"
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znaš, muškarac i žena, i počnu to da rade. Da li se to ikada desi?"
03:32
And I said, "Oh, no. Humans are so private.
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A ja sam rekla, "Ne, ljudi su veoma diskretni.
03:35
Oh ..."
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Ne."
03:37
And then she goes, "What if there was like a party,
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Ubrzo zatim: "Šta ako su na primer na žurci.
03:39
and there was just like a whole bunch of girls and a whole bunch of boys,
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Sa mnogo devojka i mnogo momaka.
03:41
and there was a bunch of men and women and they just started doing it, Mom?
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I mnogo devojaka i momaka tek tako počnu to da rade?
03:44
Would that ever happen?"
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Da li postoji mogućnost da se to desi, mama?"
03:46
And I said, "Oh, no, no.
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A ja sam rekla, "Ne, ne."
03:49
That's not how we do it."
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"Nikada to ne radimo tako."
03:52
Then we got home and we see the cat. And she goes,
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Onda smo stigle kući i videle mačku. I eto nje,
03:54
"Mom, how do cats do it?"
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"Mama, a kako to rade mačke?"
03:56
And I go, "Oh, it's the same. It's basically the same."
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I ja kažem, "O, sve isto. U suštini je potpuno isto."
03:58
And then she got all caught up in the legs. "But how would the legs go, Mom?
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A onda se ona zaintrigirala po pitanju nogu. "Ali mama, gde budu noge,
04:00
I don't understand the legs."
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Ne razumem šta bude sa nogama."
04:02
She goes, "Mom, everyone can't do the splits."
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I dodaje, "Mama, pa ne može svako da napravi špagu".
04:04
And I go, "I know, but the legs ..."
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I ja počnem, "Znam, ali noge..."
04:06
and I'm probably like, "The legs get worked out."
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"Noge se već nekako snađu."
04:08
And she goes, "But I just can't understand it."
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Ona dodaje, "Ali ne razumem."
04:09
So I go, "You know, why don't we go on the Internet,
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Onda sam predložila, "Znaš, zašto ne pogledamo na internetu,
04:11
and maybe we can see ... like on Wikipedia." (Laughter)
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i možda možemo da vidimo...na Vikipediji".
04:15
So we go online, and we put in "cats mating."
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Tako smo potražile na netu parenje mačaka.
04:17
And, unfortunately, on YouTube, there's many cats mating videos.
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I, nažalost, na Jutjubu ima mnogo klipova sa parenjem mačaka.
04:20
And we watched them and I'm so thankful,
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Gledale smo ih, i jako sam zahvalna,
04:22
because she's just like, "Wow! This is so amazing."
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jer je ona samo govorila, "Uau, ovo je neverovatno."
04:24
She goes, "What about dogs?"
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Ali onda je pitala, "A šta je sa psima?".
04:27
So we put in dogs mating, and,
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Tako smo pronašle parenje pasa i
04:29
you know, we're watching it, and she's totally absorbed.
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znate, gledale smo to, i ona je sve potpuno upijala.
04:31
And then she goes, "Mom,
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Ali onda me je pitala, "Mama,
04:33
do you think they would have, on the Internet,
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da li misliš da imaju na internetu
04:36
any humans mating?"
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parenje ljudi?"
04:39
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
04:41
And then I realized that
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I onda sam shvatila da
04:43
I had taken my little eight year old's hand,
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sam uzela za ruku moju malenu osmogodišnjakinju
04:45
and taken her right into Internet porn. (Laughter)
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i povela je u svet internet pornografije.
04:47
And I looked into this
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Pogledala sam u to
04:49
trusting, loving face,
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voljeno lice
04:51
and I said,
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i rekla
04:53
"Oh, no.
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"Ne,
04:55
That would never happen."
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toga nema."
04:57
Thank you.
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Hvala vam.
04:59
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
05:01
Thank you.
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Hvala vam.
05:03
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
05:06
Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.
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Hvala sam. Srećna sam što sam ovde.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Julia Sweeney - Actor, comedian, playwrightJulia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith.
Why you should listen
Julia Sweeney is a writer, director, actress, comedian and monologist. She is known for being a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1990 to 1995, where she created and popularized the androgynous character, Pat. She is also well known for her comedic and dramatic monologues. God Said Ha! is a monologue about serious illness, her brother's lymphoma and her own cancer, and her family's crazy reactions to this crisis as they soldiered their way through struggle, confusion and death. This play was performed all over the U.S. and on Broadway at the Lyceum Theater. It was made into a film produced by Quentin Tarantino, and the comedy album from the show was nominated for a Grammy.
Sweeney's second monologue, In the Family Way, played in theatrical runs in New York and Los Angeles. It was ultimately fashioned into a book, a memoir titled If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother. Sweeney's third monologue, Letting Go of God, chronicled her journey from Catholicism to atheism. It was made into a film that played on Showtime.
Julia Sweeney | Speaker | TED.com