TED2010
Julia Sweeney: It's time for "The Talk"
Džulija Svini (Julia Sweeny): Vrijeme je za "Razgovor"
Filmed:
Readability: 2.6
3,719,405 views
Uprkos svojim najvećim naporima, Džulija Svini je prisiljena da ispriča male bijele laži kada njena osmogodišnja ćerka počne da uči o parenju žaba -- i počne da postavlja vrlo pametna pitanja.
Julia Sweeney - Actor, comedian, playwright
Julia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith. Full bio
Julia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:15
I have a daughter, Mulan.
0
0
2000
Imam ćerku, zove se Mulan.
00:17
And when she was eight, last year,
1
2000
3000
I kada je imala osam godina, prošle godine,
00:20
she was doing a report for school
2
5000
2000
radila je izvještaj za školu
00:22
or she had some homework about frogs.
3
7000
2000
ili je imala neki domaći zadatak o žabama.
00:24
And we were at this restaurant,
4
9000
2000
I bili smo u jednom restoranu,
00:26
and she said, "So, basically,
5
11000
2000
i ona je rekla: "Pa u suštini,
00:28
frogs lay eggs
6
13000
2000
žabe ležu jaja
00:30
and the eggs turn into tadpoles,
7
15000
2000
i jaja se pretvaraju u punoglavce,
00:32
and tadpoles turn into frogs."
8
17000
2000
a punoglavci u žabe".
00:34
And I said, "Yeah. You know, I'm not really up on my frog reproduction that much.
9
19000
3000
Ja sam rekla: "Da. Znaš, ne znam
baš mnogo o razmnožavanju žaba.
baš mnogo o razmnožavanju žaba.
00:37
It's the females, I think, that lay the eggs,
10
22000
2000
Ako su ženke, mislim da ležu jaja,
00:39
and then the males fertilize them.
11
24000
2000
a mužjaci ih oplode.
00:41
And then they become tadpoles and frogs."
12
26000
2000
I tada oni postaju punoglavci i žabe."
00:43
And she says, "What? Only the females have eggs?"
13
28000
2000
A ona je rekla: "Šta?
Samo ženke imaju jaja?"
Samo ženke imaju jaja?"
00:45
And I said, "Yeah."
14
30000
2000
I ja sam rekla: "Da."
00:47
And she goes, "And what's this fertilizing?"
15
32000
2000
Ona je nastavila:
"A šta je oplodnja?"
"A šta je oplodnja?"
00:49
So I kind of said, "Oh, it's this extra ingredient,
16
34000
2000
Rekla sam joj: "Pa, to je dodatni sastojak,
00:51
you know, that you need
17
36000
2000
znaš, koji ti treba
00:53
to create a new frog
18
38000
2000
da bi napravili novu žabu
00:55
from the mom and dad frog." (Laughter)
19
40000
2000
od mame i tate žabe." (Smijeh)
00:57
And she said, "Oh, so is that true for humans too?"
20
42000
3000
Ona je rekla: "O, da li je to i za ljude tako?"
01:00
And I thought, "Okay, here we go."
21
45000
3000
Pomislila sam: "U redu, evo ga."
01:03
I didn't know it would happen so quick, at eight.
22
48000
2000
Nisam znala da će se desiti
tako brzo, u osmoj godini.
tako brzo, u osmoj godini.
01:05
I was trying to remember all the guidebooks,
23
50000
2000
Pokušavala sam da se sjetim svih vodiča,
01:07
and all I could remember was,
24
52000
2000
i sve čega sam mogla da se sjetim, bilo je:
01:09
"Only answer the question they're asking.
25
54000
2000
"Samo odgovorite na pitanje koje
vam postavljaju.
vam postavljaju.
01:11
Don't give any more information." (Laughter)
26
56000
3000
Nemojte da odajete više informacija." (Smijeh)
01:14
So I said, "Yes."
27
59000
2000
Tako da sam rekla: "Da."
01:16
And she said, "And where do, um,
28
61000
3000
I ona je rekla: "I gdje, hm,
01:19
where do human women,
29
64000
2000
gdje žena,
01:21
like, where do women lay their eggs?"
30
66000
2000
kao, gdje žena polaže jaja?"
01:23
And I said, "Well,
31
68000
2000
I ja sam joj rekla: "Pa,
01:25
funny you should ask. (Laughter)
32
70000
3000
zanimljivo što pitaš. (Smijeh)
01:28
We have evolved to have our own pond.
33
73000
3000
Mi smo se razvili tako da
imamo naše sopstveno jezerce.
imamo naše sopstveno jezerce.
01:31
We have our very own pond inside our bodies.
34
76000
3000
Imamo sopstveno jezerce u našim tijelima.
01:34
And we lay our eggs there,
35
79000
2000
I polažemo jaja tu,
01:36
we don't have to worry about other eggs or anything like that.
36
81000
3000
Ne moramo da brinemo
o drugim jajima ili tome slično.
o drugim jajima ili tome slično.
01:39
It's our own pond. And that's how it happens."
37
84000
3000
To je naše jezerce. I tako se to dešava."
01:42
And she goes, "Then how do they get fertilized?"
38
87000
2000
Ali ona je nastavila:
"Onda kako se oplode?"
"Onda kako se oplode?"
01:44
And I said, "Well,
39
89000
2000
Rekla sam: "Pa,
01:46
Men, through their penis,
40
91000
3000
muškarci kroz svoj penis,
01:49
they fertilize the eggs by the sperm coming out.
41
94000
3000
oplode jaja spermom koja izlazi.
01:52
And you go through the woman's vagina."
42
97000
3000
I beba ide kroz ženinu vaginu."
01:55
And so we're just eating, and her jaw just drops,
43
100000
2000
I tako dok smo jeli, njena vilica je pala,
01:57
and she goes, "Mom!
44
102000
2000
i rekla je: "Mama!
01:59
Like, where you go to the bathroom?"
45
104000
3000
Kroz ono gdje piškiš?"
02:02
And I said, "I know.
46
107000
2000
Rekla sam: "Znam.
02:04
I know."
47
109000
2000
Znam."
02:06
(Laughter)
48
111000
6000
(Smijeh)
02:12
That's how we evolved. It does seem odd.
49
117000
2000
Tako smo nastali. Čini se čudno.
02:14
It is a little bit like having a waste treatment plant
50
119000
3000
To je kao da imate postrojenje
za odlaganje otpada
za odlaganje otpada
02:17
right next to an amusement park ...
51
122000
3000
odmah pored zabavnog parka ...
02:20
Bad zoning, but ..." (Laughter)
52
125000
2000
Loša pozicija, ali ..." (Smijeh)
02:22
She's like, "What?" And she goes, "But Mom,
53
127000
3000
Ona odgovara: "Šta?" I nastavlja: "Ali, mama,
02:25
but men and women can't ever see each other naked, Mom.
54
130000
3000
ali muškarci i žene ne smiju da vide
jedno drugo kada su goli, mama.
jedno drugo kada su goli, mama.
02:28
So how could that ever happen?"
55
133000
2000
Kako bi to moglo ikada da se desi?"
02:30
And then I go, "Well," and then I put my Margaret Mead hat on.
56
135000
3000
Rekla sam joj: "Pa,"
i stavila šešir Margaret Mid.
i stavila šešir Margaret Mid.
02:34
"Human males and females
57
139000
2000
"Muškarci i žene
02:36
develop a special bond,
58
141000
3000
su razvili posebnu vezu,
02:39
and when they're much older, much, much older than you,
59
144000
3000
i kada su mnogo stariji,
mnogo mnogo stariji od tebe,
mnogo mnogo stariji od tebe,
02:42
and they have a very special feeling,
60
147000
2000
imaju veoma poseban osjećaj,
02:44
then they can be naked together."
61
149000
2000
i tada mogu da budu goli zajedno."
02:46
And she said, "Mom,
62
151000
2000
I ona je rekla: "Mama,
02:48
have you done this before?"
63
153000
2000
da li si ti to radila nekada?"
02:50
And I said, "Yes."
64
155000
3000
Rekla sam joj: "Da."
02:53
And she said, "But Mom, you can't have kids."
65
158000
2000
I ona je odgovorila, "Ali, mama,
ti ne možeš da imaš djecu."
ti ne možeš da imaš djecu."
02:55
Because she knows that I adopted her and that I can't have kids.
66
160000
2000
Zato što zna da sam je usvojila
i da ne mogu da imam djecu.
i da ne mogu da imam djecu.
02:57
And I said, "Yes."
67
162000
2000
Rekla sam joj: "Da."
02:59
And she said, "Well, you don't have to do that again."
68
164000
2000
Ona će: "Pa, ne moraš da radiš to opet."
03:01
And I said, "..."
69
166000
3000
Rekla sam: "..."
03:04
And then she said, "But how does it happen when a man and woman are together?
70
169000
3000
Tada je rekla: "Ali, šta se dešava
kada su muškarac i žena zajedno?
kada su muškarac i žena zajedno?
03:07
Like, how do they know that's the time?
71
172000
2000
Kao, kada oni znaju da je vrijeme?
03:09
Mom, does the man just say,
72
174000
2000
Mama, da li muškarac samo kaže,
03:11
'Is now the time to take off my pants?'"
73
176000
2000
'Da li je sada vrijeme da skinem pantalone?"'
03:13
(Laughter)
74
178000
2000
(Smijeh)
03:15
And I said, "Yes."
75
180000
2000
Rekla sam: "Da."
03:17
(Laughter)
76
182000
2000
(Smijeh)
03:19
"That is exactly right.
77
184000
3000
"Upravo tako.
03:22
That's exactly how it happens."
78
187000
2000
Tačno se tako događa."
03:24
So we're driving home and she's looking out the window, and she goes,
79
189000
3000
Kada smo se vozile kući,
gledala je kroz prozor i pitala me je:
gledala je kroz prozor i pitala me je:
03:27
"Mom. What if two just people saw each other on the street,
80
192000
2000
"Mama, šta ako se dvoje ljudi vidi na ulici,
03:29
like a man and a woman, they just started doing it. Would that ever happen?"
81
194000
3000
muškarac i žena, i počnu da rade to.
Da li se to može desiti?"
Da li se to može desiti?"
03:32
And I said, "Oh, no. Humans are so private.
82
197000
3000
Odgovorila sam joj:
"O, ne. Ljudi su diskretni.
"O, ne. Ljudi su diskretni.
03:35
Oh ..."
83
200000
2000
Oh..."
03:37
And then she goes, "What if there was like a party,
84
202000
2000
Nastavljala je: "A šta ako je žurka,
03:39
and there was just like a whole bunch of girls and a whole bunch of boys,
85
204000
2000
i tu je gomila djevojaka i gomila momaka,
03:41
and there was a bunch of men and women and they just started doing it, Mom?
86
206000
3000
i tu je gomila muškaraca i žena,
i oni počnu da rade to, mama?"
i oni počnu da rade to, mama?"
03:44
Would that ever happen?"
87
209000
2000
Može li to da se desi?"
03:46
And I said, "Oh, no, no.
88
211000
3000
I rekla sam: "O, ne, ne.
03:49
That's not how we do it."
89
214000
3000
To ne radimo tako."
03:52
Then we got home and we see the cat. And she goes,
90
217000
2000
Onda smo stigli kući i ugledali mačku.
I pitala je:
I pitala je:
03:54
"Mom, how do cats do it?"
91
219000
2000
"Mama, kako to mačke rade?"
03:56
And I go, "Oh, it's the same. It's basically the same."
92
221000
2000
Rekla sam: "O, to je isto.
U suštini je isto."
U suštini je isto."
03:58
And then she got all caught up in the legs. "But how would the legs go, Mom?
93
223000
2000
A onda se odjednom zanimala za noge.
"Ali kako se noge namjeste, mama?
"Ali kako se noge namjeste, mama?
04:00
I don't understand the legs."
94
225000
2000
Ne razumijem gdje su noge."
04:02
She goes, "Mom, everyone can't do the splits."
95
227000
2000
Kaže: "Mama, ne mogu svi napraviti špagu."
04:04
And I go, "I know, but the legs ..."
96
229000
2000
Rekla sam joj: "Znam, ali noge..."
04:06
and I'm probably like, "The legs get worked out."
97
231000
2000
i rekla sam: "Noge se nekako snađu."
04:08
And she goes, "But I just can't understand it."
98
233000
1000
I ona je nastavila:
"Ali, jednostavno to ne mogu da razumijem."
"Ali, jednostavno to ne mogu da razumijem."
04:09
So I go, "You know, why don't we go on the Internet,
99
234000
2000
Pa sam rekla: "Znaš, zašto
ne bi smo otišli na internet,
ne bi smo otišli na internet,
04:11
and maybe we can see ... like on Wikipedia." (Laughter)
100
236000
3000
i možda da vidimo... na Vikipediji."
04:15
So we go online, and we put in "cats mating."
101
240000
2000
Onda smo otišle na internet
i upisale "parenje mačaka."
i upisale "parenje mačaka."
04:17
And, unfortunately, on YouTube, there's many cats mating videos.
102
242000
3000
I, nažalost, na Ju Tjubu, postoji
mnogo snimaka o parenju mačaka.
mnogo snimaka o parenju mačaka.
04:20
And we watched them and I'm so thankful,
103
245000
2000
I pogledali smo ih,
i mnogo sam zahvalna,
i mnogo sam zahvalna,
04:22
because she's just like, "Wow! This is so amazing."
104
247000
2000
jer je bila sva:
"Vau! Ovo je nevjerovatno."
"Vau! Ovo je nevjerovatno."
04:24
She goes, "What about dogs?"
105
249000
3000
Onda je pitala: "Šta je sa psima?"
04:27
So we put in dogs mating, and,
106
252000
2000
Onda smo potražili parenje pasa, i
04:29
you know, we're watching it, and she's totally absorbed.
107
254000
2000
znate, gledale smo, i ona je sve upijala.
04:31
And then she goes, "Mom,
108
256000
2000
Onda je nastavila: "Mama,
04:33
do you think they would have, on the Internet,
109
258000
3000
da li misliš da ima na internetu,
04:36
any humans mating?"
110
261000
3000
kako se ljudi pare?"
04:39
(Laughter)
111
264000
2000
(Smijeh)
04:41
And then I realized that
112
266000
2000
Onda sam shvatila da
04:43
I had taken my little eight year old's hand,
113
268000
2000
sam uzela osmogodišnjakinju za ruku,
04:45
and taken her right into Internet porn. (Laughter)
114
270000
2000
i povela je pravo na
internet pornografiju. (Smijeh)
internet pornografiju. (Smijeh)
04:47
And I looked into this
115
272000
2000
I pogledala sam u ovo
04:49
trusting, loving face,
116
274000
2000
povjerljivo, voljeno lice
04:51
and I said,
117
276000
2000
i rekla,
04:53
"Oh, no.
118
278000
2000
"O, ne.
04:55
That would never happen."
119
280000
2000
to se ne može dogoditi,"
04:57
Thank you.
120
282000
2000
Hvala vam.
04:59
(Applause)
121
284000
2000
(Aplauz)
05:01
Thank you.
122
286000
2000
Hvala vam.
05:03
(Applause)
123
288000
3000
(Aplauz)
05:06
Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.
124
291000
2000
Hvala vam. Srećna sam što sam ovdje.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Julia Sweeney - Actor, comedian, playwrightJulia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith.
Why you should listen
Julia Sweeney is a writer, director, actress, comedian and monologist. She is known for being a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1990 to 1995, where she created and popularized the androgynous character, Pat. She is also well known for her comedic and dramatic monologues. God Said Ha! is a monologue about serious illness, her brother's lymphoma and her own cancer, and her family's crazy reactions to this crisis as they soldiered their way through struggle, confusion and death. This play was performed all over the U.S. and on Broadway at the Lyceum Theater. It was made into a film produced by Quentin Tarantino, and the comedy album from the show was nominated for a Grammy.
Sweeney's second monologue, In the Family Way, played in theatrical runs in New York and Los Angeles. It was ultimately fashioned into a book, a memoir titled If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother. Sweeney's third monologue, Letting Go of God, chronicled her journey from Catholicism to atheism. It was made into a film that played on Showtime.
Julia Sweeney | Speaker | TED.com