ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Julia Sweeney - Actor, comedian, playwright
Julia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith.

Why you should listen

Julia Sweeney is a writer, director, actress, comedian and monologist. She is known for being a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1990 to 1995, where she created and popularized the androgynous character, Pat. She is also well known for her comedic and dramatic monologues. God Said Ha! is a monologue about serious illness, her brother's lymphoma and her own cancer, and her family's crazy reactions to this crisis as they soldiered their way through struggle, confusion and death. This play was performed all over the U.S. and on Broadway at the Lyceum Theater. It was made into a film produced by Quentin Tarantino, and the comedy album from the show was nominated for a Grammy.

Sweeney's second monologue, In the Family Way, played in theatrical runs in New York and Los Angeles. It was ultimately fashioned into a book, a memoir titled If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother. Sweeney's third monologue, Letting Go of God, chronicled her journey from Catholicism to atheism. It was made into a film that played on Showtime.

More profile about the speaker
Julia Sweeney | Speaker | TED.com
TED2010

Julia Sweeney: It's time for "The Talk"

Жулиа Свийни: "Нөгөө яриа"-ны цаг нь боллоо

Filmed:
3,719,405 views

8 настай охин нь мэлхийн нөхөн үржихүйн талаар судалж эхлэн ухаалаг асуултууд асууж эхлэхэд Жулиа Свийни яаж ч хичээсэн худал хэлэхээс өөр гарцгүй байдалд оров.
- Actor, comedian, playwright
Julia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:15
I have a daughter, Mulan.
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Би Мулан нэртэй охинтой юм л даа.
00:17
And when she was eight, last year,
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Охин маань өнгөрсөн жил найман настайдаа
00:20
she was doing a report for school
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мэлхийний талаар судлах
00:22
or she had some homework about frogs.
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гэрийн даалгавартай байлаа.
Бид 2 зоогийн газар сууж байтал
охин маань хэлж байна:
00:24
And we were at this restaurant,
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00:26
and she said, "So, basically,
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"Тэгэхээр ерөнхийдөө бол
00:28
frogs lay eggs
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мэлхийнүүд өндгөө дараад,
өндөг нь шанаган хорхой болоод,
00:30
and the eggs turn into tadpoles,
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шанаган хорхой нь мэлхий
болж хувирдаг байх нь" гэхэд нь би:
00:32
and tadpoles turn into frogs."
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00:34
And I said, "Yeah. You know, I'm not really up on my frog reproduction that much.
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"Мэлхийн нөхөн үржихүйн талаар
сайн мэдэхгүй л дээ.
00:37
It's the females, I think, that lay the eggs,
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Миний бодлоор эмэгчин нь өндөгөө дарж,
00:39
and then the males fertilize them.
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эрэгчин нь үр тогтоогоод тэр нь
00:41
And then they become tadpoles and frogs."
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шанаган хорхой, мэлхий болдог.
00:43
And she says, "What? Only the females have eggs?"
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Гэтэл тэр, "Юу? Зөвхөн эмэгчнүүд нь л
өндөгтэй байдаг юм уу?"
00:45
And I said, "Yeah."
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гэхээр нь би "Тийм ээ" гэв.
00:47
And she goes, "And what's this fertilizing?"
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"Үр тогтоох гэж юу юм бэ?"
гэхэд нь би хэллээ.
00:49
So I kind of said, "Oh, it's this extra ingredient,
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"Ээж, аав мэлхийнээс
шинэ мэлхий үүсгэхэд шаардлагатай
00:51
you know, that you need
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00:53
to create a new frog
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нэг нэмэлт орц."
00:55
from the mom and dad frog." (Laughter)
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(Инээд)
00:57
And she said, "Oh, so is that true for humans too?"
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Тэр үргэлжлүүлэн:
"Хүмүүс ч гэсэн ижилхэн үү?"
01:00
And I thought, "Okay, here we go."
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гэхэд би бодлоо. За нөгөөдөх чинь.
Үүнийг ийм эрт,
наймтайд нь болно гэж санасангүй.
01:03
I didn't know it would happen so quick, at eight.
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01:05
I was trying to remember all the guidebooks,
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Уншсан гарын авлагуудаа
санахыг хичээсэн ч,
01:07
and all I could remember was,
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ганц толгойд орж ирсэн нь,
01:09
"Only answer the question they're asking.
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"Зөвхөн асуусан зүйлд нь л хариул.
01:11
Don't give any more information." (Laughter)
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Нэмэлт мэдээлэл өгч болохгүй." (Инээд)
01:14
So I said, "Yes."
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Тэгээд би хариуллаа: "Тийм ээ."
01:16
And she said, "And where do, um,
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Охин асууж байна: "Нөгөө...
01:19
where do human women,
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эмэгтэй хүмүүс хаана
01:21
like, where do women lay their eggs?"
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өндөгөө дардаг юм бэ?"
01:23
And I said, "Well,
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Би хариуд нь:
"Үүнийг асууж байгаа чинь
сонирхолтой юм. (Инээд)
01:25
funny you should ask. (Laughter)
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01:28
We have evolved to have our own pond.
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Бид өөрсдийн цөөрөмтэй.
Бидний бие дотор байдаг юм.
01:31
We have our very own pond inside our bodies.
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01:34
And we lay our eggs there,
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Өндөгөө тэнд дараад,
бусад өндөгнүүд яах бол
01:36
we don't have to worry about other eggs or anything like that.
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гэж талаар санаа зовохгүй байж болно.
01:39
It's our own pond. And that's how it happens."
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Бид өөрсдөө цөөрөмтэй.
Тэнд л нөхөн үрждэг юм."
01:42
And she goes, "Then how do they get fertilized?"
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"Тэгээд яаж үр тогтдог юм бэ?"
гэхэд нь би
01:44
And I said, "Well,
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"Эрэгтэй нь бэлэг эрхтнээрээ дамжуулан
01:46
Men, through their penis,
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01:49
they fertilize the eggs by the sperm coming out.
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эсээ гадагшлуулан үр тогтоогоод
01:52
And you go through the woman's vagina."
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тэр нь эмэгтэйн үтрээнд очдог."
Уг нь бид хооллож байсан юм,
01:55
And so we're just eating, and her jaw just drops,
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01:57
and she goes, "Mom!
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гэтэл тэр дуу алдан, "Ээж!
01:59
Like, where you go to the bathroom?"
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Бие засдаг хэсэг үү?"
02:02
And I said, "I know.
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Би "Мэдэж байна аа,
02:04
I know."
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Мэдэж байна."
02:06
(Laughter)
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(Инээд)
Бид ингэж л нөхөн үрждэг.
Сонин байгаа биз.
02:12
That's how we evolved. It does seem odd.
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02:14
It is a little bit like having a waste treatment plant
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Яг л амралтын хүрээлэнгийн хажууд
хог боловсруулах үйлдвэр
байрлаж байгаа юм шиг...
02:17
right next to an amusement park ...
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02:20
Bad zoning, but ..." (Laughter)
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Муухан байршил ч гэсэн... " (Инээд)
02:22
She's like, "What?" And she goes, "But Mom,
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Охин минь,"Юу? Гэхдээ ээж,
эрэгтэй эмэгтэй хүмүүс нэгнийгээ нүцгэн
байхыг харж болохгүй биз дээ.
02:25
but men and women can't ever see each other naked, Mom.
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02:28
So how could that ever happen?"
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Ээж, тэгэхээр тийм зүйл яаж болох юм бэ?"
02:30
And then I go, "Well," and then I put my Margaret Mead hat on.
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Би нухацтай царай гарган,
02:34
"Human males and females
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"Эрэгтэй, эмэгтэй хүмүүс
02:36
develop a special bond,
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чамаас том, хамаагүй том болсон хойноо
02:39
and when they're much older, much, much older than you,
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хоорондоо онцгой холбоо үүсгэн,
02:42
and they have a very special feeling,
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онцгой зүйл мэдрэх үедээ,
02:44
then they can be naked together."
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хамтдаа нүцгэн байж болдог юм."
02:46
And she said, "Mom,
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Охин маань асуулаа:
"Ээж, та өмнө нь тэгэж байсан уу?"
02:48
have you done this before?"
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02:50
And I said, "Yes."
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Би хариуд нь "Тийм"
"Гэхдээ ээж, та хүүхэдтэй
болж чадахгүй шүү дээ." гэв.
02:53
And she said, "But Mom, you can't have kids."
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Учир нь өөрийг нь өргөж авсан бас
намайг хүүхэд гаргах боломжгүйг мэднэ.
02:55
Because she knows that I adopted her and that I can't have kids.
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02:57
And I said, "Yes."
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Би "Тийм" гэлээ.
02:59
And she said, "Well, you don't have to do that again."
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Охин маань "Ахиж тийм юм
хийх хэрэггүй болж дээ."
03:01
And I said, "..."
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Би харин "..."
Охин маань "Гэхдээ эрэгтэй эмэгтэй хоёр
хамт байхад юу болдог юм бэ?"
03:04
And then she said, "But how does it happen when a man and woman are together?
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03:07
Like, how do they know that's the time?
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Цаг нь болсон гэдгийг яаж мэддэг юм бэ?
03:09
Mom, does the man just say,
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Ээж ээ, эрэгтэй нь зүгээр
03:11
'Is now the time to take off my pants?'"
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"Одоо өмдөө тайлах цаг болсон уу?"
гэж асуудаг юм уу?
03:13
(Laughter)
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(Инээд)
03:15
And I said, "Yes."
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Би харин "Тийм ээ" гэж хариуллаа.
03:17
(Laughter)
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(Инээд)
03:19
"That is exactly right.
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"Наадах чинь яг зөв.
Яг ийм л юм болдог юм."
03:22
That's exactly how it happens."
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Тэгээд бид гэрлүүгээ буцаж явтал
охин машины цонхоор харж байснаа
03:24
So we're driving home and she's looking out the window, and she goes,
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03:27
"Mom. What if two just people saw each other on the street,
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"Ээж ээ. Хоёр хүн нэгнийгээ
гудамжинд хараад,
03:29
like a man and a woman, they just started doing it. Would that ever happen?"
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шууд л хувцсаа тайлаад эхэлбэл яах уу?
Тийм юм ер нь болох уу?" гэхэд
03:32
And I said, "Oh, no. Humans are so private.
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би "Өө, үгүй дээ.
Хүмүүс их нууцлаг байдаг.
03:35
Oh ..."
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Өө..."
Охин үргэлжлүүлэн "Хэрвээ үдэшлэг дээр
03:37
And then she goes, "What if there was like a party,
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03:39
and there was just like a whole bunch of girls and a whole bunch of boys,
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хэсэг бүлэг охид,
хэсэг бүлэг хөвгүүд,
бас хэсэг эрэгтэй, эмэгтэйчүүд байж
байгаад шууд хийж эхлэх үү, ээж?
03:41
and there was a bunch of men and women and they just started doing it, Mom?
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Тийм юм болж болох уу?"
03:44
Would that ever happen?"
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03:46
And I said, "Oh, no, no.
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Би харин "Үгүй ээ, үгүй.
03:49
That's not how we do it."
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Бид ингэж хийдэггүй юм."
Тэгээд бид гэртээ очоод муураа харлаа.
Охин ахиад л
03:52
Then we got home and we see the cat. And she goes,
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03:54
"Mom, how do cats do it?"
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"Ээж ээ, муурнууд яадаг юм бэ?"
03:56
And I go, "Oh, it's the same. It's basically the same."
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"Өө, адилхан.
Ер нь адилхан."
Охин хөлтэй зууралдан
"Гэхдээ хөл нь яах юм бэ, ээж?
03:58
And then she got all caught up in the legs. "But how would the legs go, Mom?
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04:00
I don't understand the legs."
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Хөл нь яадгыг ойлгохгүй байна.
04:02
She goes, "Mom, everyone can't do the splits."
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Ээж, бүгд хөлөө алцайлгаж
чадахгүй шүү дээ."
04:04
And I go, "I know, but the legs ..."
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Би хариуд нь "Тийм ээ, харин хөл нь ...
04:06
and I'm probably like, "The legs get worked out."
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Хөл нь яаж ийгээд болдог юм" гэв.
Охин маань
"Би сайн ойлгохгүй байна."
04:08
And she goes, "But I just can't understand it."
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04:09
So I go, "You know, why don't we go on the Internet,
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Би тэгэхээр нь
"Юу гээч, хоёулаа интернет ороод,
04:11
and maybe we can see ... like on Wikipedia." (Laughter)
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харчихья л даа... Википедиа дээр ч юм уу."
04:15
So we go online, and we put in "cats mating."
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Тэгээд бид "муур хээлтэх"
гэж бичээд хайлаа.
04:17
And, unfortunately, on YouTube, there's many cats mating videos.
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Харамсалтай нь Youtube дээр муур хээлтэж
буй бичлэг олон байдаг юм билээ.
04:20
And we watched them and I'm so thankful,
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Охин маань "Хөөх! Гайхалтай юм аа" гэсэн
болохоор би ч үзсэндээ баяртай байв.
04:22
because she's just like, "Wow! This is so amazing."
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04:24
She goes, "What about dogs?"
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Тэгснээ "Нохойнууд яадаг юм бол?" гэнээ.
04:27
So we put in dogs mating, and,
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Тэгэхээр нь бид нохой хээлтэх
гэж хайгаад үзлээ.
04:29
you know, we're watching it, and she's totally absorbed.
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Охин бүр татагдчихсан.
04:31
And then she goes, "Mom,
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Тэгээд тэр "Ээж ээ,
04:33
do you think they would have, on the Internet,
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та интернетэд хүмүүс хээлтэж байгаа бичлэг
04:36
any humans mating?"
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байдаг гэж бодож байна уу?"
04:39
(Laughter)
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(Инээд)
04:41
And then I realized that
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Тэр үед л би
найман настай бяцхан охиноо хөтлөөд
04:43
I had taken my little eight year old's hand,
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04:45
and taken her right into Internet porn. (Laughter)
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Интернетийн порно ертөнц рүү
оруулснаа ойлгосон юм.
04:47
And I looked into this
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Би охиныхоо итгэл тээсэн, хайр татам
04:49
trusting, loving face,
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царай руу нь харж байгаад
04:51
and I said,
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04:53
"Oh, no.
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"Өө, үгүй ээ.
04:55
That would never happen."
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Хэзээ ч тийм юм болохгүй."
04:57
Thank you.
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Баярлалаа.
04:59
(Applause)
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(Алга ташилт)
05:01
Thank you.
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Баярлалаа.
05:03
(Applause)
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(Алга ташилт)
05:06
Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.
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Баярлалаа. Энд байгаадаа баяртай байна.
Translated by Saruulzaya Gansukh
Reviewed by Nomindari Bayaraa

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Julia Sweeney - Actor, comedian, playwright
Julia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith.

Why you should listen

Julia Sweeney is a writer, director, actress, comedian and monologist. She is known for being a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1990 to 1995, where she created and popularized the androgynous character, Pat. She is also well known for her comedic and dramatic monologues. God Said Ha! is a monologue about serious illness, her brother's lymphoma and her own cancer, and her family's crazy reactions to this crisis as they soldiered their way through struggle, confusion and death. This play was performed all over the U.S. and on Broadway at the Lyceum Theater. It was made into a film produced by Quentin Tarantino, and the comedy album from the show was nominated for a Grammy.

Sweeney's second monologue, In the Family Way, played in theatrical runs in New York and Los Angeles. It was ultimately fashioned into a book, a memoir titled If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother. Sweeney's third monologue, Letting Go of God, chronicled her journey from Catholicism to atheism. It was made into a film that played on Showtime.

More profile about the speaker
Julia Sweeney | Speaker | TED.com

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