ABOUT THE SPEAKER

Elizabeth Gilbert - Writer
The author of 'Eat, Pray, Love,' Elizabeth Gilbert has thought long and hard about some big topics. Her fascinations: genius, creativity and how we get in our own way when it comes to both.

Why you should listen

Elizabeth Gilbert faced down a premidlife crisis by doing what we all secretly dream of -- running off for a year. Her travels through Italy, India and Indonesia resulted in the megabestselling and deeply beloved memoir Eat, Pray, Love, about her process of finding herself by leaving home.

She's a longtime magazine writer -- covering music and politics for Spin and GQ -- as well as a novelist and short-story writer. Her books include the story collection Pilgrims, the novel Stern Men (about lobster fishermen in Maine) and a biography of the woodsman Eustace Conway, called The Last American Man. Her work has been the basis for two movies so far (Coyote Ugly, based on her own tale of working at the famously raunchy bar in New York City), and Eat, Pray, Love, with the part of Gilbert played by Julia Roberts. Not bad for a year off.

In 2010, Elizabeth published Committed, a memoir exploring her ambivalent feelings about the institution of marriage. And her 2013 novel, The Signature of All Things, is "a sprawling tale of 19th century botanical exploration."

Gilbert also owns and runs the import shop Two Buttons in Frenchtown, New Jersey.

More profile about the speaker
Elizabeth Gilbert | Speaker | TED.com

TED2014

Elizabeth Gilbert: Success, failure and the drive to keep creating

Elizabeth Gilbert: Suksesi, deshtimi dhe rruga per te vazhduar te krijosh

Filmed: 2014-03-19

Readability: 3.8

5,069,463 views

Elizabeth Gilbert dikur ishte nje " kamariere e papublikuar" e shkaterruar nga letrat e refuzimit. Dhe akoma, ne suksesin e "Ha, Lutu, Dashuro" ajo e gjeti veten te identifikonte veten me kamarieren e dikurshme. Me nje pikeveshtrim te bukur, Gilbert reflekton se pse suksesi mund te jete po aq corientues sa dhe deshtimi dhe ofron nje menyre te thjeshte per te vazhduar --te punosh shume--, pavaresisht rezultateve.

Elizabeth Gilbert - Writer
The author of 'Eat, Pray, Love,' Elizabeth Gilbert has thought long and hard about some big topics. Her fascinations: genius, creativity and how we get in our own way when it comes to both. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

Disa vjet me pare isha
ne aeroportin JFK te New Jorkut

00:12

So, a few years ago I was at JFK Airport

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00:15

about to get on a flight,

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ne momentet para se te nisesha

00:17

when I was approached by two women

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mu afruan dy gra

00:19

who I do not think would be insulted

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te cilat nuk mendoj se do te fyheshin

00:21

to hear themselves described

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nese degjonin se i pershkruaja

00:22

as tiny old tough-talking Italian-American broads.

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si plaka te vogla italo-amerikane
me nje te folur te serte.

00:26

The taller one, who is like up here,

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Ajo qe ishte me e gjata, afersisht kaq,

00:29

she comes marching up to me, and she goes,

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erdhi duke marshuar
ne drejtimin tim, dhe filloi,

00:31

"Honey, I gotta ask you something.

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"Zemer, duhet te te pyes per dicka.

00:33

You got something to do with that whole

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A ke gje te besh me te gjithe kete

00:35

'Eat, Pray, Love' thing that's been going on lately?"

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"Ha, Lutu, Dashuro"
qe po ndodh se fundmi?"

00:38

And I said, "Yes, I did."

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Dhe une i thashe, "Po"

00:40

And she smacks her friend and she goes,

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Ajo ia beri me shenje
shoqes se saj dhe filloi

00:42

"See, I told you, I said, that's that girl.

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"E sheh, te thashe qe eshte ajo vajza.

00:44

That's that girl who wrote that book

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Ajo vajza qe shkruajti ate librin

00:46

based on that movie."

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qe bazohet tek ai filmi."

00:48

(Laughter)

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(Te qeshura)

00:50

So that's who I am.

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Kjo jam une tani.

00:52

And believe me, I'm extremely
grateful to be that person,

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Dhe me besoni, jam shume mirenjohese
qe jam ai person,

00:56

because that whole "Eat, Pray, Love" thing

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sepse me ka ecur shume

00:58

was a huge break for me.

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me "Ha, Lutu, Dashuro".

01:00

But it also left me in a really tricky position

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Por me la ne nje pozicion
delikat gjithashtu

01:02

moving forward as an author

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ne ecjen perpara si autore

01:04

trying to figure out how in the world

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perpiqesha te kuptoja sesi do te arrija

01:06

I was ever going to write a book again

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do te shkruaja perseri nje liber

01:07

that would ever please anybody,

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qe do t'i kenaqte te gjithe,

01:09

because I knew well in advance

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sepse e dija me siguri

01:11

that all of those people who
had adored "Eat, Pray, Love"

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se te gjithe ata njerez qe kishin adhuruar
"Ha, Lutu, Dashuro"

01:14

were going to be incredibly disappointed

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do te ishin shume te zhgenjyer

01:15

in whatever I wrote next

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ne cfaredo qe une do te shkruaja me pas

01:17

because it wasn't going to be "Eat, Pray, Love,"

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sepse nuk do te ishte "Ha, Lutu, Dashuro"

01:19

and all of those people who
had hated "Eat, Pray, Love"

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dhe te gjithe ata njerez qe e urryen
"Ha, Lutu, Dashuro"

01:21

were going to be incredibly disappointed

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do te ishin shume te zhgenjyer

01:22

in whatever I wrote next

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ne cfaredo qe une shkruaja me pas

01:24

because it would provide evidence that I still lived.

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sepse do ti jepte prova
se une jetoja akoma.

01:26

So I knew that I had no way to win,

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Keshtu qe e dija se nuk kisha
asnje menyre qe te fitoja,

01:30

and knowing that I had no way to win

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dhe duke e ditur qe nuk kisha
asnje menyre per te fituar

01:32

made me seriously consider for a while

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me beri te konsideroja seriozisht
per ca kohe

01:34

just quitting the game

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te hiqja dore

01:35

and moving to the country to raise corgis.

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dhe te levizja ne fshat
e te rrisja qen 'Corgi'.

01:39

But if I had done that, if I had given up writing,

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Por nese do ta beja kete,
nese do te hiqja dore se shkruari,

01:41

I would have lost my beloved vocation,

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do te humbisja prirjen time
qe e dua kaq shume,

01:43

so I knew that the task was that I had to find

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keshtu qe e dija se qellimi ishte te gjeja

01:45

some way to gin up the inspiration

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nje menyre per t'u inspiruar

01:48

to write the next book

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per te shkruar librin tjeter

01:49

regardless of its inevitable negative outcome.

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pavaresisht ketyre rezultateve
te pashmangshme negative.

01:52

In other words, I had to find a way to make sure

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Me fjale te tjera, duhet te gjeja
nje menyre per te siguruar

01:53

that my creativity survived its own success.

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se kreativiteti i mbijetonte suksesit te tij.

01:56

And I did, in the end, find that inspiration,

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Dhe ne fund e bera, e gjeta inspirimin,

01:58

but I found it in the most unlikely

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por e gjeta ne vendin me te pamundur

02:00

and unexpected place.

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dhe me te papritur.

02:01

I found it in lessons that I had learned earlier in life

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E gjeta ne nje mesim qe e kisha
mesuar me heret ne jete

02:04

about how creativity can survive its own failure.

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sesi kreativiteti mund t'i mbijetoje
deshtimit te tij.

02:08

So just to back up and explain,

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Keshtu qe thjesht u ktheva pas
dhe shpjegova,

02:09

the only thing I have ever wanted to be

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se e vetmja gje qe doja

02:11

for my whole life was a writer.

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gjate gjithe jetes time,
ishte te isha shkrimtare.

02:13

I wrote all through childhood,
all through adolescence,

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Kam shkruar gjate gjithe femijerise
dhe gjate gjithe adoleshences.

02:15

by the time I was a teenager I was sending

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Kur u bera adoleshente
fillova t'i dergoj

02:17

my very bad stories to The New Yorker,

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tregimet e mia te shemtuara
te The New Yorker,

02:19

hoping to be discovered.

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duke shpresuar qe te zbulohesha.

02:20

After college, I got a job as a diner waitress,

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Pas kolegjit, fillova nje pune
si kamariere restoranti,

02:23

kept working, kept writing,

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dhe punoja, vazhdoja te shkruaja,

02:25

kept trying really hard to get published,

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perpiqesha shume te publikohesha,

02:27

and failing at it.

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dhe deshtoja ne kete gje.

02:29

I failed at getting published

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Deshtova ne te publikuar

02:30

for almost six years.

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per rreth 6 vjet.

02:32

So for almost six years, every single day,

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Keshtu qe per 6 vjet, cdo dite,

02:34

I had nothing but rejection letters

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nuk kisha asgje pervecse letra refuzimi

02:35

waiting for me in my mailbox.

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ne kutine time postare.

02:37

And it was devastating every single time,

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Dhe cdo here ishte shkaterruese,

02:39

and every single time, I had to ask myself

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dhe cdo here, me duhej te pyesja veten

02:41

if I should just quit while I was behind

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a duhej te hiqja dore
sa isha akoma ne kohe,

02:43

and give up and spare myself this pain.

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te hiqja dore dhe t'ia kurseja vetes
te gjithe ate dhimbje.

02:47

But then I would find my resolve,

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Por me pas do te gjeja zgjidhjen,

02:48

and always in the same way,

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dhe gjithmone ne te njejten menyre,

02:50

by saying, "I'm not going to quit,

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duke thene, "nuk kam per te hequr dore,

02:52

I'm going home."

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do te shkoj ne shtepi."

02:54

And you have to understand that for me,

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Dhe duhet te kuptoni qe per mua

02:55

going home did not mean
returning to my family's farm.

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te shkoja ne shtepi nuk do te thoshte
te kthehesha tek familja ime ne ferme.

02:58

For me, going home

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Per mua, te shkoja ne shtepi

03:00

meant returning to the work of writing

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do te thoshte t'i kthehesha punes
per te shkruar,

03:01

because writing was my home,

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sepse te shkruarit ishte shtepia ime,

03:03

because I loved writing more
than I hated failing at writing,

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sepse e dashuroja te shkruarit me shume
se sa urreja te deshtoja ne te shkruar,

03:06

which is to say that I loved writing

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qe do te thote qe dashuroja te shkruaja

03:08

more than I loved my own ego,

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me shume sesa e doja egon time,

03:09

which is ultimately to say

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qe ne fund te fundit eshte per te thene

03:11

that I loved writing more than I loved myself.

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se e doja te shkruarin me shume
sesa doja veten time.

03:13

And that's how I pushed through it.

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Keshtu qe kjo eshte sesi vazhdoi me tej.

03:15

But the weird thing is that 20 years later,

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Por gjeja e cuditshme eshte
se 20 vjet me pas,

03:17

during the crazy ride of "Eat, Pray, Love,"

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gjate periudhes se cmendur
"Ha, Lutu, Dashuro"

03:19

I found myself identifying all over again

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e gjeta veten te identifikohesha perseri

03:21

with that unpublished young diner waitress

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me ate kamarieren e re dhe te papublikuar

03:24

who I used to be, thinking about her constantly,

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qe isha me pare, te mendoja per te
ne menyre te vazhdueshme,

03:26

and feeling like I was her again,

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dhe ndihesha se isha ajo perseri,

03:28

which made no rational sense whatsoever

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qe ne fakt nuk ishte nje gjykim racional

03:30

because our lives could not
have been more different.

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sepse jetet tona ishin kaq te ndryshme.

03:32

She had failed constantly.

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Ajo kishte deshtuar
ne menyre te vazhdueshme.

03:33

I had succeeded beyond my wildest expectation.

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Une kisha pastur sukses me shume
se cfare prisja te arrija.

03:36

We had nothing in common.

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Ne nuk kishim asgje te perbashket.

03:37

Why did I suddenly feel like I was her all over again?

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Por perse ndihesha sikur isha ajo perseri?

03:40

And it was only when I was trying to unthread that

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Dhe ishte vetem atehere
kur po perpiqesha te hiqja dore,

03:43

that I finally began to comprehend

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ku me ne fund fillova te kuptoj

03:44

the strange and unlikely psychological connection

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lidhjen e cuditshme dhe psikologjikisht
te pamundur ne jeten tone

03:47

in our lives between the way
we experience great failure

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ndermjet menyres sesi
e perjetojme deshtimin e madh

03:49

and the way we experience great success.

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dhe menyren sesi perjetojme
suksesin e madh.

03:51

So think of it like this:

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Mendojeni ne kete menyre:

03:53

For most of your life, you live out your existence

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Per pjesen me te madhe te jetes suaj,
ti jetove ekzistencen tende

03:55

here in the middle of the chain of human experience

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ketu, ne mes te zinxhirit
te eksperiences njerezore

03:57

where everything is normal
and reassuring and regular,

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ku cdo gje eshte normale,
e siguruar dhe e rregullt,

04:00

but failure catapults you abruptly way out over here

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por deshtimi te hedh befasisht
shume larg mu ketu

04:04

into the blinding darkness of disappointment.

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ne erresiren verbuese te zhgenjimit.

04:06

Success catapults you just as abruptly but just as far

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Suksesi te perpin po aq befasisht

04:10

way out over here

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po aq larg mu ketu

04:11

into the equally blinding glare

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ne te njejten vezullim verbues

04:13

of fame and recognition and praise.

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te fames, te vleresimit dhe te njohjes.

04:16

And one of these fates

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Dhe nje nga keto fate

04:17

is objectively seen by the world as bad,

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shikohet objektivisht nga bota si e keqe,

04:20

and the other one is objectively
seen by the world as good,

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dhe tjetri shikohet ne menyre objektive
nga bota si i mire,

04:22

but your subconscious is completely incapable

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por nendergjegja jote eshte
plotesisht e paafte

04:24

of discerning the difference between bad and good.

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te beje dallimin ndermjet
te mires dhe te keqes.

04:27

The only thing that it is capable of feeling

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E vetmja gje qe eshte ne gjendje te ndjeje

04:29

is the absolute value of this emotional equation,

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eshte vlera absolute
e ketij ekuacioni emocional,

04:33

the exact distance that you have been flung

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distanca ekzakte qe ti je larguar

04:35

from yourself.

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nga vetja.

04:37

And there's a real equal danger in both cases

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Dhe eshte nje rrezik i njejte
ne te dyja rastet

04:39

of getting lost out there

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ne te humburin atje jashte

04:40

in the hinterlands of the psyche.

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ne humbetiren e psikikes.

04:42

But in both cases, it turns out that there is

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Por ne te dyja rastet, del se atje eshte

04:44

also the same remedy for self-restoration,

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i njejti sherim per vete-permiresim,

04:47

and that is that you have got to
find your way back home again

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dhe kjo eshte ajo qe ju duhet
te gjeni rrugen per ne shtepi

04:50

as swiftly and smoothly as you can,

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ne menyren me te bute
dhe te qete qe te mundeni,

04:52

and if you're wondering what your home is,

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dhe nese po pyesni
se cila eshte shtepia jote,

04:54

here's a hint:

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po ju jap nje ide:

04:55

Your home is whatever in this world you love

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Shtepia juaj eshte cfaredo ne bote
qe ju doni

04:57

more than you love yourself.

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me shume se sa doni veten.

04:59

So that might be creativity, it might be family,

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Kjo mund te jete kreativiteti,
mund te jete familja,

05:01

it might be invention, adventure,

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mund te jene shpikjet, aventurat,

05:03

faith, service, it might be raising corgis,

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besimi, sherbimi, mund te jete
rritja e qenve 'Corgi',

05:06

I don't know, your home is that thing

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nuk e di, shtepia jote eshte ajo gje

05:08

to which you can dedicate your energies

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te ciles ti i dedikon energjite e tua

05:10

with such singular devotion

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me nje devotshmeri te tille

05:12

that the ultimate results become inconsequential.

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saqe rezultati final behet i parendesishem.

05:15

For me, that home has always been writing.

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Per mua, ajo shtepi gjithmone
ka qene te shkruarit.

05:18

So after the weird, disorienting success

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Keshtu qe pas suksesit disorientues
dhe te cuditshem

05:20

that I went through with "Eat, Pray, Love,"

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qe kalova me "Ha, Lutu, Dashuro"

05:22

I realized that all I had to do was exactly

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kuptova se gjithcka qe une duhet te beja
ishte ekzatesisht

05:23

the same thing that I used to have to do all the time

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e njejta gje qe beja gjate gjithe kohes,

05:25

when I was an equally disoriented failure.

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kur isha nje deshtim i corientuar.

05:27

I had to get my ass back to work,

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Duhet te kthehesha te punoja,

05:29

and that's what I did, and that's how, in 2010,

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dhe keshtu bera, dhe ne 2010-n,

05:32

I was able to publish the dreaded follow-up

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arrita te publikoja vazhdimin e

05:34

to "Eat, Pray, Love."

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"Ha, Lutu, Dashuro"

05:35

And you know what happened with that book?

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Dhe e dini se cfare ndodhi me ate liber?

05:37

It bombed, and I was fine.

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Doli huq dhe une isha mire.

05:39

Actually, I kind of felt bulletproof,

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Ne fakt, u ndjeva pak si e papershkrueshme,

05:41

because I knew that I had broken the spell

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sepse e dija qe e kisha prishur mallkimin

05:43

and I had found my way back home

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dhe kisha gjetur rrugen per ne shtepi

05:45

to writing for the sheer devotion of it.

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te shkruaja per perkushtimin absolut ndaj tij.

05:48

And I stayed in my home of writing after that,

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Dhe qendrova ne shtepine time
te shkruaja me pas,

05:50

and I wrote another book that just came out last year

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dhe shkrova nje liber tjeter
qe doli vitin e shkuar

05:51

and that one was really beautifully received,

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dhe ky u prit shume mire,

05:53

which is very nice, but not my point.

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eshte nje gje e kendshme,
por kjo nuk eshte ajo qe dua te them.

05:55

My point is that I'm writing another one now,

162

342910

2290

Ajo qe dua te them eshte
se po shkruaj nje tjeter tani

05:57

and I'll write another book after that

163

345200

1187

dhe do te shkruaj nje liber tjeter me pas

05:58

and another and another and another

164

346387

1830

dhe nje tjeter, dhe nje tjeter
dhe nje tjeter

06:00

and many of them will fail,

165

348217

1198

dhe shume prej tyre do te deshtojne,

06:01

and some of them might succeed,

166

349415

1628

dhe disa prej tyre mund te kene sukses,

06:03

but I will always be safe

167

351043

1596

por une gjithmone do te jem e sigurte

06:04

from the random hurricanes of outcome

168

352639

2372

nga uraganet e mundshem te suksesit

06:07

as long as I never forget where I rightfully live.

169

355011

3550

per aq kohe sa nuk e harroj se ku jetoj.

06:10

Look, I don't know where you rightfully live,

170

358561

2402

Une nuk e di se ku jetoni ju,

06:13

but I know that there's something in this world

171

360963

1670

por e di se eshte dicka ne kete bote

06:14

that you love more than you love yourself.

172

362633

2072

qe ju e doni me shume se doni veten tuaj.

06:16

Something worthy, by the way,

173

364705

1415

Dicka qe t'ia vleje, meqe ra fjala,

06:18

so addiction and infatuation don't count,

174

366120

1991

se varesia dhe cmenduria nuk quhen,

06:20

because we all know that those
are not safe places to live. Right?

175

368111

4107

sepse e dime se ato nuk jane vende
te sigurta per te jetuar. Apo jo?

06:24

The only trick is that you've got to identify

176

372218

2047

E vetmja gje qe duhet te beni
eshte te identifikoni me te miren,

06:26

the best, worthiest thing that you love most,

177

374265

2464

dicka me me vlere
dhe qe ju e doni me shume,

06:28

and then build your house right on top of it

178

376729

2371

dhe me pas te ndertoni
shtepine tuaj siper saj

06:31

and don't budge from it.

179

379100

1877

dhe mos luaj nga ai vend.

06:33

And if you should someday, somehow

180

380977

2344

Dhe nese nje dite , per ndonje arsye

06:35

get vaulted out of your home

181

383321

1944

mbylleni jashte shtepise suaj

06:37

by either great failure or great success,

182

385265

2440

nga nje deshtim ose nje sukses i madh

06:39

then your job is to fight your
way back to that home

183

387705

2165

eshte detyra juaj te luftoni ne
rrugen e kthimit per tek ajo shtepi

06:42

the only way that it has ever been done,

184

389870

1785

dhe e vetmja gje qe mund te behet,

06:43

by putting your head down and performing

185

391655

2189

eshte te ulesh koken dhe te performosh

06:46

with diligence and devotion

186

393844

1822

me devotshmeri dhe zell

06:47

and respect and reverence

187

395666

1686

me respekt dhe perulesi

06:49

whatever the task is that love

188

397352

2044

cfaredo lloj detyre qe ajo dashuri

06:51

is calling forth from you next.

189

399396

2080

kerkon te behet me pas.

06:53

You just do that, and keep doing that

190

401476

2184

Vetem bej kete dhe vazhdojeni ta beni

06:55

again and again and again,

191

403660

1649

e perseri e perseri e perseri,

06:57

and I can absolutely promise you,
from long personal experience

192

405309

2656

dhe une mund tju premtoj ju,
nga nje eksperience e gjate personale

07:00

in every direction, I can assure you

193

407965

2255

ne cdo drejtim, mund tju siguroj

07:02

that it's all going to be okay.

194

410220

2070

se cdo gje do te behet me mire.

07:04

Thank you.

195

412290

1691

Ju falemnderit.

07:06

(Applause)

196

413981

4000

(Duartrokitje)

Translated by Eva Hoxha
Reviewed by Helena Bedalli

ABOUT THE SPEAKER

Elizabeth Gilbert - Writer
The author of 'Eat, Pray, Love,' Elizabeth Gilbert has thought long and hard about some big topics. Her fascinations: genius, creativity and how we get in our own way when it comes to both.

Why you should listen

Elizabeth Gilbert faced down a premidlife crisis by doing what we all secretly dream of -- running off for a year. Her travels through Italy, India and Indonesia resulted in the megabestselling and deeply beloved memoir Eat, Pray, Love, about her process of finding herself by leaving home.

She's a longtime magazine writer -- covering music and politics for Spin and GQ -- as well as a novelist and short-story writer. Her books include the story collection Pilgrims, the novel Stern Men (about lobster fishermen in Maine) and a biography of the woodsman Eustace Conway, called The Last American Man. Her work has been the basis for two movies so far (Coyote Ugly, based on her own tale of working at the famously raunchy bar in New York City), and Eat, Pray, Love, with the part of Gilbert played by Julia Roberts. Not bad for a year off.

In 2010, Elizabeth published Committed, a memoir exploring her ambivalent feelings about the institution of marriage. And her 2013 novel, The Signature of All Things, is "a sprawling tale of 19th century botanical exploration."

Gilbert also owns and runs the import shop Two Buttons in Frenchtown, New Jersey.

More profile about the speaker
Elizabeth Gilbert | Speaker | TED.com

THE ORIGINAL VIDEO ON TED.COM

Elizabeth Gilbert: Suksesi, deshtimi dhe rruga per te vazhduar te krijosh | TED Talk | TED.com