TED2012
Al Vernacchio: Sex needs a new metaphor. Here's one ...
Al Vernacchio: 性爱需要一个新的比喻。这儿就有一个...
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教育学家 － 阿尔·韦尔纳希奥说，出于某种原因，在美国谈论性的所有比喻都来自棒球 － 得分、到达一垒， 等等。问题是，这让性变成一种竞争，有赢家和输家。与此相反，他提出了一个新的模式，一个更侧重于分享快乐、协调讨论、共同实现和享受的模式。让我们一起聊聊...披萨模式。
Al Vernacchio - Sexuality educator
In his 12th-grade Sexuality and Society class, Al Vernacchio speaks honestly and positively about human sexuality. Full bio
In his 12th-grade Sexuality and Society class, Al Vernacchio speaks honestly and positively about human sexuality. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
I'd like to talk to you today
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今天我要给大家介绍一种
00:14
about a whole new way to think about sexual activity
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通过比较方法
00:19
and sexuality education, by comparison.
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得出的对性行为和性教育的全新认识
00:23
If you talk to someone today in America
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如今当你和美国人谈论
00:25
about sexual activity,
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性行为，
00:27
you'll find pretty soon you're not just talking
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很快就会发现你们谈的不光是
00:31
about sexual activity.
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性行为
00:32
You're also talking about baseball.
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你们也在谈论棒球
00:35
Because baseball is the dominant cultural metaphor
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因为棒球是美国人用来
00:40
that Americans use to think about
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思考和谈论性行为的
00:42
and talk about sexual activity,
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主流文化暗喻
00:45
and we know that because there's
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大家都心知肚明
00:47
all this language in English
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这些英文字眼
00:49
that seems to be talking about baseball
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听起来像是在谈棒球
00:52
but that's really talking about sexual activity.
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但其实是在谈性行为
00:56
So, for example, you can be a pitcher or a catcher,
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比方说，你可能是一名“ 投手” 或是 “ 捕手”
00:59
and that corresponds to whether you
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这其实是指你是
01:01
perform a sexual act or receive a sexual act.
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主动性行为者还是被动性行为者
01:05
Of course, there are the bases,
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当然，还有“ 垒”，
01:06
which refer to specific sexual activities
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暗指按具体顺序进行的
01:09
that happen in a very specific order,
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某个具体的性行为，
01:12
ultimately resulting in scoring a run
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最终达到了“ 跑垒成功”
01:15
or hitting a home run,
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或者“ 本垒打” 的效果，
01:16
which is usually having vaginal intercourse
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这通常是指进行阴道性交
01:18
to the point of orgasm,
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达到了高潮
01:20
at least for the guy.
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至少对男生来说
01:23
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
01:24
You can strike out, which means
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你可以”三振出局“
01:26
you don't get to have any sexual activity.
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意味着您今天没爱可做
01:28
And if you're a benchwarmer,
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如果您是一位“ 板凳队员”
01:30
you might be a virgin or somebody who for
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您可能是一个处女（子）或者处于某种原因
01:32
whatever reason isn't in the game,
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还未能“ 参赛”
01:34
maybe because of your age or because of your ability
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也许是您的年龄或是能力
01:38
or because of your skillset.
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或是技巧
01:41
A bat's a penis,
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“ 球棍” 指的是阴茎
01:42
and a nappy dugout is a vulva, or a vagina.
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而“ 球员休息区” 则暗指阴道
01:46
A glove or a catcher's mitt is a condom.
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“ 捕手的手套” 指的是安全套
01:49
A switch-hitter is a bisexual person,
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而“ 左右全能的击球手” 是“ 双性恋”
01:52
and we gay and lesbian folks play for the other team.
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而我们“ 男女同性恋” 则是为对手卖力的
01:56
And then there's this one:
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还有一个
01:59
"if there's grass on the field, play ball."
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“如果地上有草，就玩球吧。”
02:03
And that usually refers to
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而这实际上指的是
02:05
if a young person, specifically often a young woman,
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如果一个年轻人，特别是一个年轻女孩儿
02:08
is old enough to have pubic hair,
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已经成熟到长阴毛的话
02:10
she's old enough to have sex with.
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她也就是可以有性行为
02:13
This baseball model is incredibly problematic.
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这个棒球模式是很有问题的
02:16
It's sexist. It's heterosexist.
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它带有性别歧视和性取向（对同性恋）歧视。
02:18
It's competitive. It's goal-directed.
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它充满了竞争和太具有目的性。
02:21
And it can't result in healthy sexuality
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而且这个模式无法推进健康性生活
02:23
developing in young people or in adults.
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在年轻人或者成年人中的发展
02:26
So we need a new model.
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所以我们需要一个新的模式
02:28
I'm here today to offer you that new model.
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我今天来就是为大家提供那个新模式的
02:31
And it's based on
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它的基础是
02:33
pizza.
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披萨饼
02:34
Now pizza is something that is universally understood
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披萨嘛，全世界都知道
02:38
and that most people associate with a positive experience.
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而且大多数人都把它跟美好的经历联系起来
02:41
So let's do this.
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那么我们开始吧
02:42
Let's take baseball and pizza and compare it
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让我们把棒球和比萨饼放在一起
02:45
when talking about three aspects of sexual activity:
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比较一下下面关于性行为的三个方面
02:48
the trigger for sexual activity,
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性行为的开端
02:50
what happens during sexual activity,
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性行为过程中发生了什么
02:52
and the expected outcome of sexual activity.
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以及性行为的预期结果
02:55
So when do you play baseball?
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请问大家什么时候可以打棒球
02:58
You play baseball when it's baseball season
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通常是在赛季
03:00
and when there's a game on the schedule.
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有赛程安排才能打
03:03
It's not exactly your choice.
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这不是你自己可以选择的
03:05
So if it's prom night or a wedding night
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如果碰巧有舞会或婚礼
03:08
or at a party or if our parents aren't home,
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或者有开派对又或者是你父母不在家
03:11
hey, it's just batter up.
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嘿，抓紧时间，好好打吧
03:14
Can you imagine saying to your coach,
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你能想象跟教练说，
03:15
"Uh, I'm not really feeling it today,
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“ 恩，我今天没感觉
03:18
I think I'll sit this game out."
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我想我就不参加这次的比赛了。“
03:20
That's just not the way it happens.
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根本没门儿
03:22
And when you get together to play baseball,
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而且当大家聚到一起打棒球的时候
03:24
immediately you're with two opposing teams,
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马上就会出现两个对立的球队
03:27
one playing offense, one playing defense,
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一队进攻，一队防守
03:29
somebody's trying to move deeper into the field.
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总有人试图往球场里更进一步
03:32
That's usually a sign to the boy.
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通常是指男孩儿
03:34
Somebody's trying to defend people moving into the field.
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总有人试图阻止其他人往球场内移动
03:37
That's often given to the girl.
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通常是指女孩儿
03:39
It's competitive.
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这是一种竞争
03:40
We're not playing with each other.
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我们不是和彼此一同游戏
03:42
We're playing against each other.
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我们是在和彼此竞争
03:43
And when you show up to play baseball,
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而且当你打棒球的时候
03:45
nobody needs to talk about what we're going to do
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没有人需要告诉你我们下步做什么
03:48
or how this baseball game might be good for us.
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或者这场棒球赛对我们有好处
03:50
Everybody knows the rules.
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所有人都知道规则
03:51
You just take your position and play the game.
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你就站到自己的位置开始比赛就行
03:56
But when do you have pizza?
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那你什么时候吃披萨呢
03:58
Well, you have pizza when you're hungry for pizza.
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当你饿了想吃披萨的时候就吃
04:02
It starts with an internal sense, an internal desire, or a need.
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这首先始于一种内在的感受、渴望或是需求
04:07
"Huh. I could go for some pizza."
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“恩。我想要吃披萨。”
04:10
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
04:12
And because it's an internal desire,
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而且因为这是一种内在的渴望
04:15
we actually have some sense of control over that.
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我们其实是可以控制它的
04:17
I could decide that I'm hungry
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我可以决定我饿了
04:19
but know that it's not a great time to eat.
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但也知道现在不是吃饭的最佳时刻
04:23
And then when we get together with someone for pizza,
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然后当我们和别人一同吃披萨的时候
04:26
we're not competing with them,
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我们不是在和他们竞争
04:28
we're looking for an experience
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我们在寻找一种
04:30
that both of us will share
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彼此能够分享的
04:31
that's satisfying for both of us,
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让双方都感到满足的体验
04:33
and when you get together for pizza with somebody,
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当你和某人一同吃披萨的时候
04:36
what's the first thing you do?
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你们做的第一件事是什么
04:38
You talk about it.
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你们会先谈一谈
04:40
You talk about what you want.
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你们谈论想要什么
04:41
You talk about what you like.
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你们谈论喜欢什么
04:43
You may even negotiate it.
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你们甚至会商量一下
04:44
"How do you feel about pepperoni?" (Laughter)
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“你觉得意式辣香肠披萨如何？”（笑声）
04:47
"Not so much, I'm kind of a mushroom guy myself."
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“没什么感觉，我自己更喜欢蘑菇多点的。”
04:50
"Well, maybe we can go half and half."
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“那么，也许我们可以一半一半？”
04:52
And even if you've had pizza with somebody
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即使你和某人在一起吃披萨
04:54
for a very long time,
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已经很久了
04:57
don't you still say things like,
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你难道不会说，
04:59
"Should we get the usual?"
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“还是老三样儿？”
05:01
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
05:02
"Or maybe something a little more adventurous?"
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“或者也许这次吃点新鲜的？”
05:06
Okay, so when you're playing baseball,
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好，当你打棒球的时候
05:08
so if we talk about during sexual activity,
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如果我们谈谈性行为的过程
05:10
when you're playing baseball,
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当你打棒球的时候
05:11
you're just supposed to round the bases
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你只不过需要按照既定的正确顺序
05:14
in the proper order one at a time.
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把每个垒都跑一遍
05:16
You can't hit the ball and run to right field.
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你不能击了球然后想右边跑
05:18
That doesn't work.
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这行不通
05:19
And you also can't get to second base and say,
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而且你也不能在到了二垒的时候说
05:22
"I like it here. I'm going to stay here."
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“我觉得这儿挺好的。我就待在这里了。”
05:26
No.
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不行
05:28
And also, of course, with baseball, there's, like,
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而且，当然，对于棒球，你需要
05:30
the specific equipment and a specific skill set.
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有特定的装备和技术
05:32
Not everybody can play baseball. It's pretty exclusive.
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不是每个人都能打棒球的，这项运动非常挑剔
05:36
Okay, but what about pizza?
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好的，但是披萨呢？
05:38
When we're trying to figure out what's good for pizza,
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当我们想要弄明白吃什么披萨好的时候，
05:40
isn't it all about what's our pleasure?
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这不就是关于什么让我们快乐吗
05:43
There are a million different kinds of pizza.
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这里有上百万种不同的披萨
05:45
There's a million different toppings.
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有上百万种不同的陷料
05:47
There's a million different ways to eat pizza.
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也有上百万种不同的吃法
05:49
And none of them are wrong. They're different.
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没有一个是错误的，它们只是不同罢了
05:52
And in this case, difference is good,
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在这种情况下，不同是好的
05:54
because that's going to increase the chance
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因为这会增加我们
05:56
that we're having a satisfying experience.
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获得满意体验的几率
05:59
And lastly, what's the expected outcome of baseball?
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最后，棒球比赛的期望的结果是什么
06:02
Well, in baseball, you play to win.
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你比赛是为了赢
06:06
You score as many runs as you can.
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你尽全力得分
06:08
There's always a winner in baseball,
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在棒球比赛中总有一个胜者
06:10
and that means there's always a loser in baseball.
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这就意味着总会有一个失败者
06:14
But what about pizza?
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但是披萨呢
06:15
Well, in pizza, we're not really --
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吃披萨的时候
06:17
there's no winning. How do you win pizza?
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没有输赢。你怎么能赢披萨？
06:21
You don't. But you do look for,
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你不会。但你确实会问
06:24
"Are we satisfied?"
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“我们满意吗？”
06:26
And sometimes that can be different amounts
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而且满意的程度会根据
06:28
over different times or with different people
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不同的时间或者和不同的人或者
06:30
or on different days.
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不同日子而不同
06:32
And we get to decide when we feel satisfied.
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而且我们可以自己决定何时感到满足
06:35
If we're still hungry, we might have some more.
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如果我们还有些饿，我们可以再多吃些
06:38
If you eat too much, though,
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如果你吃得太多，那么
06:40
you just feel gross.
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你就感觉有些恶心了
06:42
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
06:44
So what if we could take this pizza model
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那么如果我们把这个披萨模式
06:47
and overlay it on top of sexuality education?
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应用到性教育上会怎样呢
06:50
A lot of sexuality education that happens today
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当今非常多的性教育
06:53
is so influenced by the baseball model,
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深受棒球模式影响
06:56
and it sets up education that can't help
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这让性教育无法帮助年轻人甚至
07:00
but produce unhealthy sexuality in young people.
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造成不健康的性行为
07:04
And those young people become older people.
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而那些年轻人又变成老一辈
07:06
But if we could create sexuality education
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但是如果我们可以创造
07:09
that was more like pizza,
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类似于披萨模式的性教育
07:12
we could create education that invites people
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来启发人们
07:15
to think about their own desires,
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思考他们自己的渴望
07:17
to make deliberate decisions about what they want,
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深思熟虑自己想要什么
07:21
to talk about it with their partners,
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和他们的另一半谈论性
07:23
and to ultimately look for
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然后最终寻找的并不单纯是
07:25
not some external outcome
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外在的结果
07:28
but for what feels satisfying,
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而是什么让我们感觉满足
07:31
and we get to decide that.
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我们有决定权
07:34
You may have noticed
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你也许已经注意到了
07:35
in the baseball and pizza comparison,
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在棒球模式和披萨饼模式的比较中
07:37
under the baseball, it's all commands.
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棒球模式里全都是指令
07:40
They're all exclamation points.
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全都是惊叹号
07:42
But under the pizza model, they're questions.
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但是在披萨饼模式中都是问题
07:45
And who gets to answer those questions?
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谁来回答那些问题呢？
07:47
You do. I do.
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你和我
07:51
So remember, when we're thinking about
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所以，请记住，当我们思考
07:53
sexuality education and sexual activity,
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性教育和性行为的时候
07:56
baseball, you're out.
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棒球模式已经过时了
07:58
Pizza is the way to think about healthy,
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披萨饼模式才是我们思考健康
08:01
satisfying sexual activity,
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满足的性行为
08:03
and good, comprehensive sexuality education.
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以及正确、全面的性教育的真正王道
08:06
Thank you very much for your time.
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谢谢大家
08:09
(Applause)
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（掌声）
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Al Vernacchio - Sexuality educatorIn his 12th-grade Sexuality and Society class, Al Vernacchio speaks honestly and positively about human sexuality.
Why you should listen
Al Vernacchio teaches at Friends’ Central, a private Quaker school just outside Philadelphia. His positive, enthusiastic and often humorous approach to comprehensive sexuality education (rather than abstinence-only education) has made “Mr. V.” a popular speaker -- and has recently brought him to the attention of the New York Times Magazine, which profiled his class in the November 20, 2011, cover story "Teaching Good Sex". When not talking about sexuality, Vernacchio teaches English and is the faculty moderator of the school's Gay-Straight Alliance. He's also a seasoned wedding officiant.
Al Vernacchio | Speaker | TED.com