ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Christina Wallace - Entrepreneur, podcaster, storyteller
A self-described "human Venn diagram," Christina Wallace has crafted a career at the intersection of business, the arts and technology.

Why you should listen

Christina Wallace is currently the VP of Growth at Bionic, co-host of The Limit Does Not Exist podcast and co-author of upcoming business book New-to-Big, which will be published by Currency (Penguin Random House) in Spring 2019.

Wallace previously founded fashion company Quincy and ed-tech startup BridgeUp: STEM inside the American Museum of Natural History, and she opened the New York office for Startup Institute. Mashable named her one of "44 Female Founders to Know" and Refinery29 declared her one of the "Most Powerful Women in NYC Tech."

In her free time, Wallace sings in a community choir, climbs mountains, runs half (and some full) marathons and volunteers for progressive political causes. She lives with her fiancé and their two houseplants in Brooklyn, New York.

Watch Wallace's TEDxSanAntonio 2016 talk here.

More profile about the speaker
Christina Wallace | Speaker | TED.com
TED2018

Christina Wallace: How to stop swiping and find your person on dating apps

克莉絲汀娜華勒斯: 手指別再滑個不停:如何在約會軟體上找到對的人

Filmed:
2,174,628 views

面對現實,線上約會可能會很爛。有好多可能的人選,浪費了好多時間——這真的值得嗎?播客兼企業家克莉絲汀娜華勒斯認為如果用對方式就值得。在這場有趣、實際的演說中,華勒斯分享她如何運用她的企管碩士技能來發明「第零次約會」法,擺脫要不斷滑動螢幕的軟體。你也能做到!
- Entrepreneur, podcaster, storyteller
A self-described "human Venn diagram," Christina Wallace has crafted a career at the intersection of business, the arts and technology. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:12
I first tried試著 online線上 dating約會
my freshman新生 year of college學院,
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我第一次嘗試網路約會,
在大學一年級的時候,
00:16
which哪一個 was in 2001,
in case案件 you can't see my wrinkle皺紋.
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萬一你們沒看到我的皺紋,
老實說,那是 2001年。
00:20
Now, as you may可能 have noticed注意到,
I'm six-feet六英尺 tall,
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你們可能已經注意到,
我有 180 公分高,
00:22
and when I arrived到達 at my chosen選擇 university大學
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當我抵達我所選的大學,
00:24
and realized實現 our men's男裝 Division IIIIII
basketball籃球 team球隊 averaged平均 five-foot-eight五英尺-八,
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並發現我們第三級別男子
籃球隊的平均身高才 170 公分,
00:29
I abandoned the on-campus校園內
scene現場 and went online線上.
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我就直接放棄
校園約會,轉而上網。
00:32
Now, back then, online線上 dating約會
was pretty漂亮 close to the plot情節
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那時,網路約會就很像
電影《電子情書》裡的情節一樣。
00:35
of "You've Got Mail郵件."
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00:36
You'd write long emails電子郵件
back and forth向前 for weeks,
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你要花數週的時間在電子郵件
往返上,信還要寫很長,
00:39
before you finally最後 met會見 up in real真實 life.
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然後才會真正約見面。
00:41
Except, in my case案件,
you'd realize實現 you have no chemistry化學
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我的例子的差別在於,
我發現我們不來電,
00:44
and so now, you're back to square廣場 one.
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於是我又回到原點。
00:46
So, while online線上 dating約會
has changed a lot in the last 17 years年份,
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雖然在過去十七年裡,
網路約會已經改變了很多,
00:50
many許多 of the frustrations挫折 remain the same相同.
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許多的挫折仍然依舊。
00:53
Because here's這裡的 what it does well.
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因為,它能做得很好的地方是:
00:55
It broadens變寬 your pool of potential潛在 dates日期
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它能擴展你可能的約會對象圈子,
00:58
beyond your existing現有 social社會
and professional專業的 circles.
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超出你既有的社交圈和工作圈。
01:01
And here's這裡的 what it doesn't do well.
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但它也有做不好的地方:
01:03
Literally按照字面 everything else其他.
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所有其他的部分都是。
01:06
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
01:08
A few少數 things you should know about me:
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你們應該知道我的一些事:
01:10
I'm an action-oriented以行動為導向 overachieving超出預期
math數學 and theater劇院 nerd書呆子,
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我是行動派,是個表現
超預期的數學和戲劇怪胎,
01:13
who ended結束 up with an MBAMBA.
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最後還拿了企業管理碩士。
01:15
So, when things aren't working加工 out,
I tend趨向 to take a step back,
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所以當事情發展不順時,
我傾向會先退一步,
01:18
apply應用 my business商業 toolkit工具包
to figure數字 out why, and to fix固定 it.
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應用我的商業技能
來找出原因並解決它。
01:22
My love life was no exception例外.
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我的感情生活也不例外。
01:24
The summer夏季 before I turned轉身 30,
I took myself on a relationship關係 off-site場外.
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在我即將滿三十歲的前一年夏天,
我給自己的感情關係放了個假,
01:28
Which哪一個 means手段 I went camping露營 solo獨奏
in Maine緬因州 for a week,
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意思就是,我獨自
去緬因州露營了一週,
01:31
to do a retro復古 on my track跟踪 record記錄
of mediocre平庸 relationships關係.
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去回顧了我過往的平凡感情記錄。
01:35
Because the thing was,
I knew知道 what I wanted in a partner夥伴.
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重點是,我很清楚
我想要什麼樣的伴侶。
01:38
Kindness善良, curiosity好奇心, empathy同情,
a sense of purpose目的.
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要善良、有好奇心、
有同理心,且知道目標。
01:42
And yet然而, here's這裡的 what I chose選擇 for online線上:
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但是,我在線上選擇的卻是:
01:45
Ivy常春藤 League聯盟 degree, six feet or taller,
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常青藤大學學位、
身高 180 公分以上、
01:48
lives生活 within 12 subway地鐵 stops停止 of me.
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住的地方距離我
不超過十二個地鐵站。
01:51
It's not that I intentionally故意地
prioritized優先 those things,
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並不是我故意
把那些項目排在優先,
01:54
it's just the easiest最簡單的 to vet獸醫 for online線上.
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只是在網路上這樣最容易審查。
01:57
It kind of is like a résumé review評論,
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它就類似在檢閱履歷,
01:59
which哪一個 is why these guys
looked看著 great on paper
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就是這為什麼這些人
書面上看來都這麼棒,
02:01
and never quite相當 fit適合 me.
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卻從來不適合我。
02:03
So when I went back online線上
in the spring彈簧 of 2016,
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所以,2016 年春季我再次上網時,
02:06
I decided決定 to reengineer重新設計 the process處理
through通過 some classic經典 business商業 tools工具.
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我決定用一些經典的
商業工具來改革這個過程。
02:10
First, I went to OkCupidOkCupid,
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首先,我到 OkCupid,
02:12
because I wanted to avoid避免
the gamification遊戲化 of swipe-based基於刷卡的 apps應用.
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因為我不想用需要不停滑動
螢幕的軟體,那好像玩遊戲一樣。
02:15
And also, because I wanted
a writing寫作 sample樣品.
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另一個原因是因為
我想要一份撰寫範本。
02:19
Next下一個, I set up a sales銷售 funnel漏斗,
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接著,我建立了一個銷售漏斗,
02:21
throwing投擲 out any sense of my type類型,
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丟棄了我對於
夢想類型的所有觀念,
02:23
and instead代替 defining確定 the criteria標準
that would qualify修飾 a lead.
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改去定義出菁英的合格標準。
02:27
An inbound入站 message信息 had to do three things:
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傳給我的訊息需要符合三項條件:
02:29
had to be written書面 in complete完成 sentences句子
and with good grammar語法;
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要用完整句子和好的文法來撰寫;
02:32
it had to reference參考
something in my profile輪廓,
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必須要提及我個人
簡介中的某些內容,
02:34
so I know it's not
a copy-and-paste複製粘貼 situation情況;
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我才能確定它不是
複製貼上的內容,
02:37
and it had to avoid避免 all sexual有性 content內容.
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且不能有性相關的內容。
02:40
I figured想通 this was a pretty漂亮 low bar酒吧,
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我認為這個門檻很低,
02:41
but it turns out,
of my 210 inbound入站 messages消息,
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但結果發現,在我
收到的 210 則訊息中,
02:44
only 14 percent百分 cleared清除 that hurdle.
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只有 14% 的人過關。
02:46
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
02:48
Next下一個, I wanted to meet遇到 in real真實 life
as quickly很快 as possible可能,
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接著,我想盡快與本人真正見面,
02:51
because the things I cared照顧 about,
I couldn't不能 see online線上.
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因為在網路上我看不出
那些我在意的點。
02:54
But the research研究, and my experience經驗,
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但研究及我自身的經驗都顯示出
02:56
shows節目 you only need about 30 seconds
with someone有人 to tell if you click點擊.
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你跟一個人相處三十秒,
就能知道彼此是否合得來。
03:00
So I invented發明 the zero date日期.
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所以,我發明了「第零次約會」。
03:03
The zero date日期 is one drink, one hour小時.
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第零次約會就是
一杯飲料、一個小時。
03:05
With the goal目標 of answering回答 one question:
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目的就只要回答一個問題:
03:08
Would I like to have
dinner晚餐 with this person?
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「我想和這個人共進晚餐嗎?」
而非 「他是我的真命天子嗎?」
03:11
Not "are they the one"?
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03:12
Literally按照字面, "Would I like to spend
three hours小時 across橫過 the table
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真的只是「我想和這個人面對面
坐下來相處三小時嗎?」
03:15
from this person?"
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03:18
You tell them you have a hard stop --
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你告訴對方,你後面
緊接著有其他行程——
03:19
drinks飲料 with girlfriends女友,
a conference會議 call with China中國 --
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和女性朋友有約,
和中國有視訊會議——無所謂,
03:22
it doesn't matter, they don't know you.
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他們也不了解你。重點是一小時。
03:24
The point is one hour小時.
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03:26
If it's awesome真棒,
you schedule時間表 a first date日期.
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如果相處很棒,
就來安排第一次約會。
03:29
And if it's not awesome真棒,
you downshift降檔 into entertainer藝人 mode模式
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如果不怎麼好,
就切換到低速的娛樂模式檔,
03:32
and you workshop作坊 a few少數 new stories故事
for your next下一個 networking聯網 event事件.
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為下一個網路約會準備幾個新故事。
03:35
Plus, because it's just an hour小時,
you can squeeze up to three in one evening晚間
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此外,因為只有一小時,
你可以在一個晚上約三場。
03:39
and then you only have to do your hair頭髮
and pick out one great outfit配備 a week.
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你一週只要做好髮型
選好衣服一次即可。
03:43
The zero date日期 also gave me a chance機會
to see how they responded回應
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第零次約會也讓我有機會看到,
當我提出要約出去時,
對方會有什麼反應。
03:46
to me asking them out.
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03:47
I figured想通 not everyone大家
would dig my moxie莫克西, and I was right.
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我想不會每個人都喜歡
我的大膽,結果的確如此。
03:51
Of my 29 qualified合格 leads引線,
only 15 replied回答 to my message信息,
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符合我條件的 29 個人中,
只有 15 個人回了我的訊息,
03:55
and of those, six scheduled計劃 a zero date日期.
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這 15 個人中,只有 6 人
和我安排了第零次約會。
03:58
My first zero date日期
was with a set designer設計師.
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我的首位第零次約會對象,
是也喜歡瑜伽的場景設計師。
04:00
And we were both into yoga瑜伽
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04:01
and preferred首選 our bagels貝果
with peanut花生 butter牛油,
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也同樣喜歡花生醬貝果,
看起來挺有希望的。
04:03
so it looked看著 pretty漂亮 promising有希望.
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但兩分鐘後,
我知道不會有戲唱了,
04:05
But two minutes分鐘 in, I could tell
it wasn't going to be a thing
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而不用跟他吃晚餐,
也讓我鬆了一口氣。
04:08
and I was relieved安心 not to be
spending開支 dinner晚餐 with him.
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04:10
After that, I was a little nervous緊張
about going to my next下一個 zero date日期.
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那之後,我對下一個
第零次約會感到有點緊張。
04:14
But we had agreed約定 to meet遇到
on the Brooklyn布魯克林 Heights高地 Promenade長廊
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但我們已經約好
在布魯克林高地步道見面,
帶上一瓶威士忌,欣賞日落,
04:16
with a flask燒瓶 of whiskey威士忌酒
to watch the sunset日落,
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老實說,那裡離
我的公寓只有兩個街區。
04:18
and honestly老老實實, it was two blocks
from my apartment公寓.
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04:21
Plus, this guy had a podcast播客,
I have a podcast播客,
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此外,他有一個播客節目,
我有一個播客節目,
04:24
worst最差 case案件 scenario腳本,
we can talk about our podcasts播客.
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最糟糕的情况就是
我們閒聊我們的播客節目。
04:27
Then, Chas查斯 set down next下一個 to me.
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接著,查斯在我旁邊坐下。
04:30
And this kind and empathetic感情移入的 man
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這個善良、有同理心的男人,
04:32
told great jokes笑話
and asked even better questions問題.
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講的笑話很棒,問的問題更棒。
04:36
He was a lawyer律師 and a writer作家,
and his eyes眼睛 twinkled閃爍 when he laughed笑了
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他是律師兼作家,
笑的時候眼睛閃閃發光,
04:40
and they squeezed擠壓 tight when I kissed him
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我親他的時候,他緊緊閉上雙眼,
04:42
and at some point in the evening晚間,
our zero date日期 became成為 a first date日期.
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在那晚的某一刻,我們的第零次約會
成了我們的第一次約會。兩年後,
04:45
And two years年份 later後來, we have a washer墊圈,
dryer烘乾機 and two house plants植物 together一起.
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我們共同擁有了洗衣機、烘乾機,
和兩盆室內盆栽。
04:50
Now, I can't promise諾言
you're going to end結束 up with house plants植物.
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我無法保證你們最後
也會有室內盆栽。
04:53
But the point of this story故事
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但這個故事的重點是,
04:55
is that online線上 dating約會
doesn't have to suck吮吸.
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網路約會不一定會很爛。
04:57
Don't treat對待 it like a game遊戲,
and don't treat對待 it like a resume恢復 review評論.
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不要把它當作一種遊戲,
也不要把它當作檢閱履歷。
05:01
Instead代替, use it to source資源
and qualify修飾 leads引線
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反之,把它當作
蒐集合格人選的來源,
05:04
and then get offline離線 as quickly很快
as possible可能 with the zero date日期.
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然後盡快進行
現實中的第零次約會。
05:08
Because the point of this isn't swiping刷卡.
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因為網路約會的重點
不是滑動手機螢幕,
05:11
It's finding發現 your person.
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而是找到適合你的人。
05:13
Good luck運氣.
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祝好運。
05:14
(Applause掌聲)
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(掌聲)
Translated by Lilian Chiu
Reviewed by Helen Chang

▲Back to top

ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Christina Wallace - Entrepreneur, podcaster, storyteller
A self-described "human Venn diagram," Christina Wallace has crafted a career at the intersection of business, the arts and technology.

Why you should listen

Christina Wallace is currently the VP of Growth at Bionic, co-host of The Limit Does Not Exist podcast and co-author of upcoming business book New-to-Big, which will be published by Currency (Penguin Random House) in Spring 2019.

Wallace previously founded fashion company Quincy and ed-tech startup BridgeUp: STEM inside the American Museum of Natural History, and she opened the New York office for Startup Institute. Mashable named her one of "44 Female Founders to Know" and Refinery29 declared her one of the "Most Powerful Women in NYC Tech."

In her free time, Wallace sings in a community choir, climbs mountains, runs half (and some full) marathons and volunteers for progressive political causes. She lives with her fiancé and their two houseplants in Brooklyn, New York.

Watch Wallace's TEDxSanAntonio 2016 talk here.

More profile about the speaker
Christina Wallace | Speaker | TED.com

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