TEDWomen 2015
Alix Generous: How I learned to communicate my inner life with Asperger's
Filmed:
Readability: 4.6
1,883,472 views
Alix Generous is a young woman with a million and one ideas -- she's done award-winning science, helped develop new technology and tells a darn good joke (you'll see). She has Asperger's, a form of autistic spectrum disorder that can impair the basic social skills required for communication, and she's worked hard for years to learn how to share her thoughts with the world. In this funny, personal talk, she shares her story -- and her vision for tools to help more people communicate their big ideas.
Alix Generous - Advocate
Alix Generous is a college student and biology researcher with Asperger syndrome. She stresses the importance of building accepting environments for all kinds of minds. Full bio
Alix Generous is a college student and biology researcher with Asperger syndrome. She stresses the importance of building accepting environments for all kinds of minds. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
Today, I want to talk to you about dreams.
0
746
2627
00:15
I have been a lucid dreamer my whole life,
1
3999
2717
00:18
and it's cooler than in the movies.
2
6740
1976
00:20
(Laughter)
3
8740
1943
00:22
Beyond flying, breathing fire,
4
10707
2708
00:25
and making hot men
spontaneously appear ...
spontaneously appear ...
5
13439
2841
00:28
(Laughter)
6
16304
1977
00:30
I can do things like read and write music.
7
18305
2408
00:33
Fun fact is that I wrote
my personal statement to college
my personal statement to college
8
21344
3331
00:36
in a dream.
9
24699
1320
00:38
And I did accepted. So, yeah.
10
26043
2755
00:41
I am a very visual thinker.
11
29873
1806
00:44
I think in pictures, not words.
12
32393
2249
00:47
To me, words are more like
instincts and language.
instincts and language.
13
35174
4231
00:51
There are many people like me;
14
39993
1752
00:53
Nikola Tesla, for example,
15
41769
2514
00:56
who could visualize, design,
test, and troubleshoot everything --
test, and troubleshoot everything --
16
44307
5015
01:01
all of his inventions --
in his mind, accurately.
in his mind, accurately.
17
49346
3406
01:06
Language is kind of exclusive
to our species, anyway.
to our species, anyway.
18
54633
3342
01:09
I am a bit more primitive,
19
57999
2110
01:12
like a beta version of Google Translate.
20
60133
2568
01:14
(Laughter)
21
62725
2612
01:18
My brain has the ability
to hyper-focus on things that interest me.
to hyper-focus on things that interest me.
22
66741
3883
01:23
For example, once
I had an affair with calculus
I had an affair with calculus
23
71307
2667
01:25
that lasted longer
than some celebrity marriages.
than some celebrity marriages.
24
73998
2689
01:28
(Laughter)
25
76711
2927
01:32
There are some other
unusual things about me.
unusual things about me.
26
80527
2516
01:36
You may have noticed
that I don't have much inflection
that I don't have much inflection
27
84391
2826
01:39
in my voice.
28
87241
1214
01:40
That's why people
often confuse me with a GPS.
often confuse me with a GPS.
29
88479
3061
01:43
(Laughter)
30
91564
3874
01:48
This can make basic communication
a challenge, unless you need directions.
a challenge, unless you need directions.
31
96034
3947
01:52
(Laughter)
32
100005
4415
01:56
Thank you.
33
104444
1174
01:57
(Applause)
34
105642
4227
02:02
A few years ago, when I started
doing presentations,
doing presentations,
35
110600
3239
02:05
I went to get head shots done
for the first time.
for the first time.
36
113863
2629
02:09
The photographer told me to look flirty.
37
117381
2743
02:12
(Laughter)
38
120148
2269
02:14
And I had no idea
what she was talking about.
what she was talking about.
39
122441
2589
02:17
(Laughter)
40
125054
1646
02:18
She said, "Do that thing,
you know, with your eyes,
you know, with your eyes,
41
126724
2428
02:21
when you're flirting with guys."
42
129176
1901
02:23
"What thing?" I asked.
43
131101
2091
02:25
"You know, squint."
44
133608
1453
02:27
And so I tried, really.
45
135553
1684
02:29
It looked something like this.
46
137261
1661
02:31
(Laughter)
47
139382
2461
02:33
I looked like I was searching for Waldo.
48
141867
2623
02:36
(Laughter)
49
144514
2386
02:40
There's a reason for this,
50
148582
1732
02:42
as there is a reason that Waldo is hiding.
51
150338
2569
02:44
(Laughter)
52
152931
4447
02:52
I have Asperger's,
53
160918
1588
02:54
a high-functioning form of autism
54
162530
1992
02:56
that impairs the basic social skills
one is expected to display.
one is expected to display.
55
164546
3476
03:02
It's made life difficult in many ways,
56
170726
3084
03:05
and growing up,
I struggled to fit in socially.
I struggled to fit in socially.
57
173834
3740
03:09
My friends would tell jokes,
but I didn't understand them.
but I didn't understand them.
58
177955
3627
03:14
My personal heroes were George Carlin
and Stephen Colbert --
and Stephen Colbert --
59
182320
4656
03:19
and they taught me humor.
60
187000
2381
03:22
My personality switched
from being shy and awkward
from being shy and awkward
61
190881
3806
03:26
to being defiant and cursing out a storm.
62
194711
2793
03:30
Needless to say,
I did not have many friends.
I did not have many friends.
63
198322
2733
03:33
I was also hypersensitive to texture.
64
201714
2278
03:36
The feel of water on my skin
was like pins and needles,
was like pins and needles,
65
204722
3687
03:40
and so for years, I refused to shower.
66
208433
2294
03:43
I can assure you that my hygiene routine
is up to standards now, though.
is up to standards now, though.
67
211251
3968
03:47
(Laughter)
68
215243
1633
03:50
I had to do a lot to get here,
and my parents --
and my parents --
69
218487
4393
03:54
things kind of got out of control
when I was sexually assaulted by a peer,
when I was sexually assaulted by a peer,
70
222904
4629
03:59
and on top of everything,
it made a difficult situation worse.
it made a difficult situation worse.
71
227557
4800
04:05
And I had to travel 2,000 miles
across the country to get treatment,
across the country to get treatment,
72
233270
5563
04:10
but within days of them prescribing
a new medication,
a new medication,
73
238857
3674
04:14
my life turned into an episode
of the Walking Dead.
of the Walking Dead.
74
242555
2752
04:18
I became paranoid,
and began to hallucinate
and began to hallucinate
75
246109
3112
04:21
that rotting corpses
were coming towards me.
were coming towards me.
76
249245
3024
04:24
My family finally rescued me,
77
252769
2842
04:27
but by that time, I had lost 19 pounds
in those three weeks,
in those three weeks,
78
255635
4689
04:32
as well as developing severe anemia,
79
260348
2429
04:34
and was on the verge of suicide.
80
262801
1761
04:38
I transferred to a new treatment center
that understood my aversions,
that understood my aversions,
81
266180
4675
04:42
my trauma, and my social anxiety,
82
270879
3681
04:46
and they knew how to treat it,
and I got the help I finally needed.
and I got the help I finally needed.
83
274584
3316
04:50
And after 18 months of hard work,
84
278202
2572
04:52
I went on to do incredible things.
85
280798
3092
04:56
One of the things with Asperger's
is that oftentimes,
is that oftentimes,
86
284710
3428
05:00
these people have
a very complex inner life,
a very complex inner life,
87
288162
2093
05:02
and I know for myself,
I have a very colorful personality,
I have a very colorful personality,
88
290279
2841
05:05
rich ideas, and just a lot
going on in my mind.
going on in my mind.
89
293144
3704
05:08
But there's a gap
between where that stands,
between where that stands,
90
296872
3373
05:12
and how I communicate it
with the rest of the world.
with the rest of the world.
91
300269
2591
05:15
And this can make
basic communication a challenge.
basic communication a challenge.
92
303416
3476
05:20
Not many places would hire me,
due to my lack of social skills,
due to my lack of social skills,
93
308106
3259
05:23
which is why I applied to Waffle House.
94
311389
2300
05:25
(Laughter)
95
313713
5587
05:32
Waffle House is an exceptional
24-hour diner --
24-hour diner --
96
320070
3678
05:35
(Laughter)
97
323772
1953
05:37
(Applause)
98
325749
3254
05:41
thank you --
99
329027
1940
05:42
where you can order your hash browns
100
330991
1759
05:44
the many ways that someone
would dispose of a human corpse ...
would dispose of a human corpse ...
101
332774
3153
05:47
(Laughter)
102
335951
1633
05:49
Sliced, diced, peppered, chunked,
topped, capped, and covered.
topped, capped, and covered.
103
337608
4729
05:54
(Laughter)
104
342361
2103
05:56
As social norms would have it,
105
344488
1445
05:57
you should only go to Waffle House
at an ungodly hour in the night.
at an ungodly hour in the night.
106
345957
3497
06:01
(Laughter)
107
349478
1151
06:02
So one time, at 2 am, I was chatting
with a waitress, and I asked her,
with a waitress, and I asked her,
108
350653
4356
06:07
"What's the most ridiculous thing
that's happened to you on the job?"
that's happened to you on the job?"
109
355033
3270
06:10
And she told me that one time,
a man walked in completely naked.
a man walked in completely naked.
110
358873
3263
06:14
(Laughter)
111
362160
1230
06:15
I said, "Great! Sign me up
for the graveyard shift!"
for the graveyard shift!"
112
363754
2508
06:18
(Laughter)
113
366286
2604
06:20
Needless to say,
Waffle House did not hire me.
Waffle House did not hire me.
114
368914
2791
06:25
So in terms of having Asperger's,
it can be viewed as a disadvantage,
it can be viewed as a disadvantage,
115
373838
4380
06:30
and sometimes it is
a real pain in the butt,
a real pain in the butt,
116
378242
2167
06:32
but it's also the opposite.
117
380433
1754
06:34
It's a gift, and it allows me
to think innovatively.
to think innovatively.
118
382211
3591
06:38
At 19, I won a research competition
for my research on coral reefs,
for my research on coral reefs,
119
386810
6830
06:45
and I ended up speaking
120
393664
1515
06:47
at the UN Convention
of Biological Diversity,
of Biological Diversity,
121
395203
2251
06:49
presenting this research.
122
397478
1496
06:50
(Applause)
123
398998
1688
06:52
Thank you.
124
400710
1158
06:53
(Applause)
125
401892
4898
06:58
And at 22, I'm getting ready
to graduate college,
to graduate college,
126
406814
3995
07:02
and I am a co-founder of a biotech
company called AutismSees.
company called AutismSees.
127
410833
4535
07:08
(Applause)
128
416275
1008
07:09
Thank you.
129
417307
1255
07:10
(Applause)
130
418586
2677
07:13
But consider what I had to do to get here:
131
421287
3184
07:16
25 therapists, 11 misdiagnoses,
and years of pain and trauma.
and years of pain and trauma.
132
424495
5291
07:22
I spent a lot of time thinking
if there's a better way,
if there's a better way,
133
430698
3071
07:25
and I think there is:
autism-assistive technology.
autism-assistive technology.
134
433793
4052
07:30
This technology
could play an integral role
could play an integral role
135
438503
2017
07:32
in helping people
with autistic spectrum disorder,
with autistic spectrum disorder,
136
440544
2855
07:35
or ASD.
137
443423
1154
07:38
The app Podium, released
by my company, AutismSees,
by my company, AutismSees,
138
446465
4966
07:43
has the ability to independently assess
and help develop communication skills.
and help develop communication skills.
139
451455
5274
07:49
In addition to this, it tracks
eye contact through camera
eye contact through camera
140
457324
4322
07:53
and simulates a public-speaking
and job-interview experience.
and job-interview experience.
141
461670
5907
08:00
And so maybe one day,
Waffle House will hire me,
Waffle House will hire me,
142
468561
2557
08:03
after practicing on it some more.
143
471142
2180
08:05
(Laughter)
144
473346
1181
08:09
And one of the great things
is that I've used Podium
is that I've used Podium
145
477162
5519
08:14
to help me prepare for today,
and it's been a great help.
and it's been a great help.
146
482705
5086
08:19
But it's more than that.
147
487815
1627
08:21
There's more that can be done.
148
489466
1554
08:24
For people with ASD --
149
492274
3092
08:27
it has been speculated
that many innovative scientists,
that many innovative scientists,
150
495390
4517
08:31
researchers, artists,
and engineers have it;
and engineers have it;
151
499931
4591
08:36
like, for example, Emily Dickinson,
Jane Austen, Isaac Newton, and Bill Gates
Jane Austen, Isaac Newton, and Bill Gates
152
504546
6030
08:42
are some examples.
153
510600
1737
08:44
But the problem that's encountered
154
512361
1753
08:46
is that these brilliant ideas
often can't be shared
often can't be shared
155
514138
3837
08:49
if there are communication roadblocks.
156
517999
2264
08:53
And so, many people with autism
are being overlooked every day,
are being overlooked every day,
157
521249
4726
08:57
and they're being taken advantage of.
158
525999
1810
09:01
So my dream for people with autism
is to change that,
is to change that,
159
529175
6895
09:08
to remove the roadblocks
that prevent them from succeeding.
that prevent them from succeeding.
160
536094
2927
09:11
One of the reasons I love lucid dreaming
161
539808
2502
09:14
is because it allows me to be free,
162
542334
2882
09:17
without judgment of social
and physical consequences.
and physical consequences.
163
545240
4065
09:21
When I'm flying over scenes
that I create in my mind,
that I create in my mind,
164
549638
3002
09:24
I am at peace.
165
552664
1229
09:27
I am free from judgment,
166
555346
2020
09:29
and so I can do whatever I want, you know?
167
557390
2016
09:31
I'm making out with Brad Pitt,
and Angelina is totally cool with it.
and Angelina is totally cool with it.
168
559430
4904
09:36
(Laughter)
169
564358
1880
09:39
But the goal of autism-assistive
technology is bigger than that,
technology is bigger than that,
170
567759
3899
09:43
and more important.
171
571682
1361
09:45
My goal is to shift people's perspective
172
573725
3921
09:49
of autism and people
with higher-functioning Asperger's
with higher-functioning Asperger's
173
577670
4980
09:54
because there is a lot they can do.
174
582674
3864
09:58
I mean, look at
Temple Grandin, for example.
Temple Grandin, for example.
175
586562
3436
10:02
And by doing so, we allow people
to share their talents with this world
to share their talents with this world
176
590022
5095
10:07
and move this world forward.
177
595141
2367
10:09
In addition, we give them the courage
to pursue their dreams
to pursue their dreams
178
597532
3222
10:12
in the real world, in real time.
179
600778
2288
10:15
Thank you.
180
603090
1159
10:16
(Applause)
181
604273
3648
10:19
Thank you.
182
607945
1151
10:21
(Applause)
183
609120
3840
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Alix Generous - AdvocateAlix Generous is a college student and biology researcher with Asperger syndrome. She stresses the importance of building accepting environments for all kinds of minds.
Why you should listen
Alix Generous has Asperger syndrome, but was misdiagnosed for years. A student and researcher who is passionate about molecular biology and neuroscience, she encourages people like her to share their intelligence and insights. She is a co-owner of the startup AutismSees, which develops technology tools to help all kinds of people give presentations.
At 19, Generous won first place in a nationwide competition for her work in quorum sensing and coral reefs. Her paper titled "Environmental Threats on the Symbiotic Relationship of Coral Reefs and Quorum Sensing," was published in Consilience. In November 2013, she was a youth delegate for the UN Convention of Climate Change (COP19), where she negotiated technology transfers and issues of medical importance. She has assisted neuroscience researchers at the Medical University of South Carolina, Tufts University School of Medicine, and the University of Vermont.
Alix Generous | Speaker | TED.com