TED Residency
Bob Stein: A rite of passage for late life
Bob Stein: 暮年的仪式
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在生命的早期，我们用仪式来标志每个阶段，像是生日、毕业典礼，但步入晚年后呢？在这个“思前想后”的冥想演讲中，Bob Stein提出了一个新的仪式：当你长大后，把自己的东西（及它们背后的故事）分享给大家，来反思自己过去的生活并打开通向未来的大门。
Bob Stein - Publisher
Bob Stein has long been in the vanguard: immersed in radical politics as a young man, he grew into one of the founding fathers of new media. He’s wondering what sorts of new rituals and traditions might emerge as society expands to include increasing numbers of people in their eighties and nineties. Full bio
Bob Stein has long been in the vanguard: immersed in radical politics as a young man, he grew into one of the founding fathers of new media. He’s wondering what sorts of new rituals and traditions might emerge as society expands to include increasing numbers of people in their eighties and nineties. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
I grew up white, secular and middle class
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我出生于五十年代美国的
一个传统的白人中产阶级家庭里。
00:16
in 1950s America.
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00:19
That meant watching fireworks
on the Fourth of July,
on the Fourth of July,
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这意味着，七月四号（独立日）要看烟花，
00:22
trick-or-treating on Halloween
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在万圣节不给糖就捣乱，
00:24
and putting presents
under a tree at Christmas.
under a tree at Christmas.
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以及圣诞节时会把礼物放在树下。
00:27
But by the time
those traditions got to me,
those traditions got to me,
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到了我生活的年代时，
这些传统变成了空洞的商业之事，
00:30
they were hollow, commercial enterprises,
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00:32
which just left me feeling empty.
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让我感到空虚。
00:34
So from a relatively young age,
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所以，从年轻的时候，
00:36
I found myself looking to fill
an existential hole,
an existential hole,
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我就开始寻找方法填补
这个存在了的空洞，
这个存在了的空洞，
00:40
to connect with something
bigger than myself.
bigger than myself.
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以期与更伟大的事物相连。
00:44
There hadn't been a bar mitzvah
in my family in over a century,
in my family in over a century,
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一个多世纪以来，
我家没有举办过一场（犹太）成人礼，
我家没有举办过一场（犹太）成人礼，
所以我想我应该试试看。
00:47
so I thought I'd take a shot at that --
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00:49
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
00:50
only to be devastated
when my one encounter with the rabbi,
when my one encounter with the rabbi,
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但和拉比（犹太教教义者）的相遇
仍带来了毁灭性的打击，
仍带来了毁灭性的打击，
00:54
a really tall, godlike figure
with flowing white hair,
with flowing white hair,
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他很高，像神灵一样，
有一头飘逸的白发，
有一头飘逸的白发，
相遇时他询问我的中间名是什么，
00:58
consisted of him asking me
for my middle name
for my middle name
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以填在表格上。
01:01
so we could fill out a form.
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01:04
Yep, that was it.
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是的，就是这样。
01:05
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
01:06
So I got the fountain pen,
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我拿起了那只笔，
01:08
but I didn't get the sense
of belonging and confidence
of belonging and confidence
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但并未获得我一直在寻找的
归属感和信心。
01:11
I was searching for.
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01:13
Many years later,
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多年后，
我无法容忍我的孩子将满13岁，
01:15
I couldn't bear the thought
of my son turning 13
of my son turning 13
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却没有举行任何仪式，
01:17
without some kind of rite of passage.
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01:21
So I came up with the idea
of a 13th birthday trip,
of a 13th birthday trip,
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所以我想出了这个主意——
十三岁生日之旅。
十三岁生日之旅。
我提出带Murphy去
01:24
and I offered to take Murphy
anywhere in the world
anywhere in the world
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这个世界上任何一个对他有意义的地方。
01:27
that had meaning for him.
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01:29
A budding young naturalist
who loved turtles,
who loved turtles,
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作为一个崭露头角
喜欢乌龟的年轻博物学家，
喜欢乌龟的年轻博物学家，
他毫不犹豫地选择了加拉帕戈斯群岛，
01:32
he immediately settled on the Galapagos.
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01:35
And when my daughter, Katie, turned 13,
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当我的女儿Katie满13岁时，
01:38
she and I spent two weeks
at the bottom of the Grand Canyon,
at the bottom of the Grand Canyon,
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我们一起在大峡谷底部度过了两周。
正是在那儿，Katie第一次
意识到了自己的强大与勇敢，
意识到了自己的强大与勇敢，
01:41
where Katie learned for the first time
that she was powerful and brave.
that she was powerful and brave.
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01:46
Since then, my partner, Ashton,
and lots of our friends and relatives
and lots of our friends and relatives
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在这之后，我的另一半Ashton
还有很多亲朋
还有很多亲朋
都带着他们的小孩儿开启了
十三岁生日之旅。
十三岁生日之旅。
01:50
have taken their kids
on 13th birthday trips,
on 13th birthday trips,
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01:53
with everyone finding it transformative
for both the child and the parent.
for both the child and the parent.
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无论是大人还是小孩
每个人都能看到它带来的改变，
每个人都能看到它带来的改变，
02:00
I wasn't brought up saying grace.
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我家并没有饭前祷告的传统，
02:03
But for the last 20 years,
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但在过去的20年里，
02:05
we've been holding hands
before every meal.
before every meal.
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每次用餐前我们都会牵住彼此的手。
02:09
It's a beautiful bit of shared silence
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那是寂静又美好的时刻，
02:11
that brings us all together in the moment.
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我们在那时紧密相依，
02:14
Ashton tells everyone
to "pass the squeeze,"
to "pass the squeeze,"
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Ashton告诉大家，
要紧握彼此，
要紧握彼此，
02:17
while she assures them it's not religious.
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但她保证这并不带有宗教性质。
（笑声）
02:19
(Laughter)
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02:22
So recently, when my family asked me
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最近，当我的家人问我，
02:24
if I could please do something
with the more than 250 boxes of stuff
with the more than 250 boxes of stuff
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我是否能用我一生收集的
250多箱东西做点什么时，
02:30
that I've collected over a lifetime,
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02:32
my ritual-making impulse kicked in.
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“举行仪式”的冲动再次涌上心头。
02:36
I started wondering if I could go further
than simple death cleaning.
than simple death cleaning.
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我开始想，除去死亡清理，
我还能再做些什么？
我还能再做些什么？
02:40
"Death cleaning" is the Swedish term
for clearing our your closets,
for clearing our your closets,
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“死亡清理”是瑞典的习俗，
在你去世前
你会清理你的壁橱、地下室和阁楼，
你会清理你的壁橱、地下室和阁楼，
02:44
your basement and your attic
before you die,
before you die,
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这样你的孩子以后就不用做这些了。
02:48
so your kids don't have to do it later.
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02:50
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
02:52
I pictured my children
opening up box after box
opening up box after box
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我开始想象我的孩子们
打开一个又一个箱子，
打开一个又一个箱子，
猜想我为什么要留着这些物什。
02:55
and wondering why I'd kept
any of that stuff.
any of that stuff.
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（笑声）
02:59
(Laughter)
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我能想象到当他们看着
03:00
And then I imagined them looking
at a specific picture
at a specific picture
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我和一位妙龄女子的合影时，
03:04
of me with a beautiful young woman,
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满腹疑惑
“和我爸爸在一起的究竟是谁”。
“和我爸爸在一起的究竟是谁”。
03:06
and asking, "Who on earth
is that with Dad?"
is that with Dad?"
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（笑声）
03:09
(Laughter)
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03:10
And that was the aha moment.
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这就是“顿悟时刻”，
03:13
It wasn't the things I'd saved
that were important;
that were important;
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并非是我留下的东西很重要，
它背后的故事才是意义所在。
03:16
it was the stories that went with them
that gave them meaning.
that gave them meaning.
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03:21
Could using the objects
to tell the stories
to tell the stories
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是否可以通过讲述它们的故事，
开启一项新仪式，
03:24
be the seed of a new ritual,
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03:26
a rite of passage --
not for a 13-year-old,
not for a 13-year-old,
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不再是给13岁准备的成人礼，
而是为了更年长的人们。
03:30
but for someone much further
down the road?
down the road?
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03:34
So I started experimenting.
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我开始尝试，
03:36
I got a few dozen things out of the boxes,
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我从箱子里挑选了几十样东西，
将它们摆放在一个房间内，
03:39
I put them about in a room,
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03:41
and I invited people to come in
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邀请人们前来，
03:44
and ask me about anything
that they found interesting.
that they found interesting.
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并询问他们感兴趣的事物。
03:48
The results were terrific.
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结果非常棒，
03:50
A good story became a launching pad
for a much deeper discussion,
for a much deeper discussion,
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一段好的故事会激发出
更深入的讨论，
更深入的讨论，
让我的访客建立起
03:55
in which my visitors made
meaningful connections
meaningful connections
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和他们自身息息相关的联系，
03:57
to their own lives.
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04:00
Derrius [Quarles] asked me
about a Leonard Peltier T-shirt
about a Leonard Peltier T-shirt
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Derrius曾问过我
关于Leonard Peltier T恤的故事，
关于Leonard Peltier T恤的故事，
我在80年代经常穿它，
04:04
that I'd worn a lot in the '80s,
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04:06
that, sadly, is still relevant today.
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令人感伤的是，
它与现在仍紧密相连。
它与现在仍紧密相连。
04:09
Our conversation moved quickly,
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我们的对话进展很快，
04:12
from a large number of political
prisoners in American jails,
prisoners in American jails,
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从美国监狱中关押的大量政治犯，
到Derrius想要了解
04:16
to Derrius wondering about the legacy
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60年代黑人解放运动的遗留问题，
04:18
of the Black Liberation
Movement of the '60s,
Movement of the '60s,
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04:21
and how his life might be different
if he'd come of age then,
if he'd come of age then,
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以及如果他在那时就已成年，
而不是30年后，
而不是30年后，
他的人生将是什么样子，
04:25
instead of 30-odd years later.
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04:28
At the end of our conversation,
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在谈话的最后，
04:30
Derrius asked me
if he could have the T-shirt.
if he could have the T-shirt.
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Derrius问我能否把T恤给他，
04:33
And giving it to him felt
just about perfect.
just about perfect.
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我想这可能是最完美的做法。
04:37
As these conversations
established common ground,
established common ground,
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当这些对话建立起共同点，
04:40
especially across generations,
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特别是跨世纪的共同点，
04:43
I realized I was opening a space
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我意识到我开拓了一片新天地。
04:45
for people to talk about things
that really mattered to them.
that really mattered to them.
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人们可以谈论他们真正关心的事情，
04:50
And I started seeing myself
with a renewed sense of purpose --
with a renewed sense of purpose --
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我的人生也有了全新的使命感。
04:54
not as the old guy on the way out,
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我不再是将要离世的老人，
04:56
but as someone with a role to play
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而是有角色要扮演的人，
04:58
going forward.
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在向前迈进，
05:01
When I was growing up,
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在我小时候，
05:03
life ended for most people in their 70s.
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大多数人会在70岁逝世，
05:07
People are living far longer now,
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但是人们的寿命在延长，
05:10
and for the first time in human history,
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人类史上第一次发现，
05:12
it's common for four generations
to be living side by side.
to be living side by side.
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四世同堂是一件
很平常的事情，
很平常的事情，
05:17
I'm 71,
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我已经71岁了，
05:18
and with a bit of luck,
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如果幸运的话，
05:20
I've got 20 or 30 more years ahead of me.
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我还可以活20年或30年，
05:24
Giving away my stuff now
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现在就拿出我的收藏，
05:27
and sharing it with friends, family,
and I hope strangers, too,
and I hope strangers, too,
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把它们的故事讲述给我的朋友、家人
我甚而希望是陌生人，
我甚而希望是陌生人，
05:32
seems like the perfect way
to enter this next stage of my life.
to enter this next stage of my life.
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似乎是进入人生
新阶段的最好方式，
新阶段的最好方式，
05:36
Turns out to be just
what I was looking for:
what I was looking for:
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这正是我所找寻的：
05:39
a ritual that's less about dying
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一个与死亡无关的仪式，
敞开大门，
05:41
and more about opening the door
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迎接未来，
05:43
to whatever comes next.
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05:46
Thank you.
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谢谢你们。
05:47
(Applause)
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（掌声）
05:48
Onward!
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继续前行！
05:49
(Applause)
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（掌声）
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Bob Stein - PublisherBob Stein has long been in the vanguard: immersed in radical politics as a young man, he grew into one of the founding fathers of new media. He’s wondering what sorts of new rituals and traditions might emerge as society expands to include increasing numbers of people in their eighties and nineties.
Why you should listen
Until his early 30's, Bob Stein was a full-time radical activist. In 1981, he spent a year researching and writing a paper for Encyclopedia Britannica -- "EB and the Intellectual Tools of the Future" -- and he has been involved in electronic publishing ever since. In 1984 he founded The Criterion Collection, a critically acclaimed series of definitive films, which included the first supplementary sections and director commentaries and introduced the letterbox format. He also founded The Voyager Company, which in 1989 published one of the first commercial CD-ROMs, "The CD Companion to Beethoven's Ninth Symphony." In 1992 Voyager published the first electronic books, including Douglas Adams's Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and Michael Crichton's Jurassic Park. In 2004 The MacArthur Foundation provided a generous grant with which Stein founded the Institute for the Future of the Book, a small think and do tank aimed at exploring and influencing the evolution of new forms of intellectual expression. In 2005, the Institute published the first "networked books," which an important milestone in the shift to social reading and writing as discourse moves from pages to screens. After waiting 25 years, since he saw the first public demo of VR, Stein is currently working on a platform to present music and art performance in a shared social space.
Bob Stein | Speaker | TED.com