TED Salon Brightline Initiative
Melinda Epler: 3 ways to be a better ally in the workplace
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We're taught to believe that hard work and dedication will lead to success, but that's not always the case. Gender, race, ethnicity, religion, disability, sexual orientation are among the many factors that affect our chances, says writer and advocate Melinda Epler, and it's up to each of us to be allies for those who face discrimination. In this actionable talk, Epler shares three ways to support people who are underrepresented in the workplace. "There's no magic wand for correcting diversity and inclusion," she says. "Change happens one person at a time, one act at a time, one word at a time."
Melinda Epler - Writer, advocate
Melinda Epler works with the tech industry to solve diversity and inclusion together. Full bio
Melinda Epler works with the tech industry to solve diversity and inclusion together. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
In 2013, I was an executive
at an international engineering firm
at an international engineering firm
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in San Francisco.
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It was my dream job.
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A culmination of all the skills
that I've acquired over the years:
that I've acquired over the years:
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storytelling, social impact,
behavior change.
behavior change.
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I was the head of marketing and culture
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and I worked with the nation's
largest health care systems,
largest health care systems,
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using technology and culture change
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to radically reduce
their energy and water use
their energy and water use
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and to improve their social impact.
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I was creating real change in the world.
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And it was the worst
professional experience of my life.
professional experience of my life.
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I hit the glass ceiling hard.
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It hurt like hell.
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While there were bigger issues,
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most of what happened
were little behaviors and patterns
were little behaviors and patterns
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that slowly chipped away
at my ability to do my work well.
at my ability to do my work well.
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They ate away at my confidence,
my leadership, my capacity to innovate.
my leadership, my capacity to innovate.
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For example, my first
presentation at the company.
presentation at the company.
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I walk up to the front of the room
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to give a presentation on the strategy
that I believe is right for the company.
that I believe is right for the company.
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The one they hired me to create.
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And I look around the room
at my fellow executives.
at my fellow executives.
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And I watch as they
pick up their cell phones
pick up their cell phones
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and look down at their laptops.
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They're not paying attention.
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As soon as I start to speak,
the interruptions begin
the interruptions begin
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and people talk over me
again and again and again.
again and again and again.
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Some of my ideas are flat out dismissed
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and then brought up
by somebody else and championed.
by somebody else and championed.
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I was the only woman in that room.
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And I could have used an ally.
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Little behaviors and pattern like this,
every day, again and again,
every day, again and again,
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they wear you down.
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Pretty soon, my energy
was absolutely tapped.
was absolutely tapped.
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At a real low point, I read an article
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about toxic workplace culture
and microaggressions.
and microaggressions.
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Microaggressions --
everyday slights, insults,
everyday slights, insults,
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negative verbal
and nonverbal communication,
and nonverbal communication,
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whether intentional or not,
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that impede your ability
to do your work well.
to do your work well.
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That sounded familiar.
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I started to realize
that I wasn't failing.
that I wasn't failing.
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The culture around me was failing me.
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And I wasn't alone.
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Behaviors and patterns like this
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every day affect underrepresented people
of all backgrounds in the workplace.
of all backgrounds in the workplace.
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And that has a real impact
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on our colleagues, on our companies
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and our collective capacity to innovate.
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So, in the tech industry,
we want quick solutions.
we want quick solutions.
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But there is no magic wand
for correcting diversity and inclusion.
for correcting diversity and inclusion.
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Change happens one person at a time,
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one act at a time, one word at a time.
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We make a mistake
when we see diversity and inclusion
when we see diversity and inclusion
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as that side project over there
the diversity people are working on,
the diversity people are working on,
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rather than this work inside all of us
that we need to do together.
that we need to do together.
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And that work begins
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with unlearning what we know
about success and opportunity.
about success and opportunity.
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We've been told our whole lives
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that if we work hard,
that hard work pays off,
that hard work pays off,
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we'd get what we deserve,
we'd live our dream.
we'd live our dream.
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But that isn't true for everyone.
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Some people have to work 10 times as hard
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to get to the same place
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due to many barriers
put in front of them by society.
put in front of them by society.
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Your gender, your race, your ethnicity,
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your religion, your disability,
your sexual orientation,
your sexual orientation,
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your class, your geography,
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all of these can give you more
of fewer opportunities for success.
of fewer opportunities for success.
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And that's where allyship comes in.
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Allyship is about understanding
that imbalance in opportunity
that imbalance in opportunity
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and working to correct it.
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Allyship is really seeing
the person next to us.
the person next to us.
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And the person missing,
who should be standing next to us.
who should be standing next to us.
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And first, just knowing
what they're going through.
what they're going through.
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And then, helping them succeed
and thrive with us.
and thrive with us.
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When we work together to develop
more diverse and inclusive teams,
more diverse and inclusive teams,
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data shows we will be more innovative,
more productive and more profitable.
more productive and more profitable.
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So, who is an ally?
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All of us.
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We can all be allies for each other.
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As a white, cisgendered woman
in the United States,
in the United States,
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there are many ways I'm very privileged.
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And some ways I'm not.
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And I work hard every day
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to be an ally for people
with less privilege than me.
with less privilege than me.
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And I still need allies, too.
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In the tech industry,
like in many industries,
like in many industries,
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there are many people
who are underrepresented,
who are underrepresented,
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or face barriers and discrimination.
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Women, people who are nonbinary --
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so people who don't necessarily
identify as man or woman --
identify as man or woman --
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racial and ethnic minorities,
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LGBTQIA, people
with disabilities, veterans,
with disabilities, veterans,
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anybody over age 35.
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(Laughter)
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We have a major bias toward youth
in the tech industry.
in the tech industry.
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And many others.
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There is always someone
with less privilege than you.
with less privilege than you.
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On this stage, in this room.
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At your company, on your team,
in your city or town.
in your city or town.
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So, people are allies
for different reasons.
for different reasons.
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Find your reason.
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It could be for the business case,
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because data shows
diverse and inclusive teams
diverse and inclusive teams
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will be more productive,
more profitable and more innovative.
more profitable and more innovative.
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It could be for fairness
and social justice.
and social justice.
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Because we have a long history
of oppression and inequity
of oppression and inequity
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that we need to work on together.
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Or it could be for your kids,
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so your kids grow up
with equal opportunities.
with equal opportunities.
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And they grow up creating
equal opportunities for others.
equal opportunities for others.
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Find your reason.
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For me, it's all three.
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Find your reason and step up
to be there for someone who needs you.
to be there for someone who needs you.
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So, what can you do as an ally?
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Start by doing no harm.
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It's our job as allies to know what
microaggressions are and to not do them.
microaggressions are and to not do them.
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06:01
It's our job as allies
to listen, to learn,
to listen, to learn,
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to unlearn and to relearn,
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and to make mistakes and to keep learning.
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Give me your full attention.
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Close your laptops,
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put down your cellphones
and pay attention.
and pay attention.
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If somebody is new or the only
person in the room like them,
person in the room like them,
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or they're just nervous,
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this is going to make a huge difference
in how they show up.
in how they show up.
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Don't interrupt.
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Underrepresented people
are more likely to be interrupted,
are more likely to be interrupted,
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so just take a step back and listen.
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Echo and attribute.
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If I have a great idea,
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echo my idea and then attribute it to me,
and we thrive together.
and we thrive together.
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Learn the language I use
to describe my identity.
to describe my identity.
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Know how to pronounce my name.
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Know my pronouns -- he, she, they.
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Know the language I use to describe
my disability, my ethnicity, my religion.
my disability, my ethnicity, my religion.
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This really matters to people,
so if you don't know, just ask.
so if you don't know, just ask.
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Listen and learn.
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An executive told me recently
that after doing allyship on his team,
that after doing allyship on his team,
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the whole team started to normalize
calling themselves out and each other out
calling themselves out and each other out
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for interrupting.
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"I'm so sorry I'm interrupting
you right now, carry on."
you right now, carry on."
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"Hey, she's got
a great idea, let's listen."
a great idea, let's listen."
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Number two, advocate
for underrepresented people in small ways.
for underrepresented people in small ways.
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Intervene; you can change
the power dynamics in the room.
the power dynamics in the room.
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If you see somebody is the only
person in the room like them
person in the room like them
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and they are being belittled,
they are being interrupted,
they are being interrupted,
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do something, say something.
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Invite underrepresented people to speak.
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And say no to panels
without underrepresented speakers.
without underrepresented speakers.
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Refer someone for a job
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and encourage them to take that job
and to take new opportunities.
and to take new opportunities.
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And this one's really important --
help normalize allyship.
help normalize allyship.
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If you're a person with privilege,
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it's easier for you
to advocate for allies.
to advocate for allies.
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So use that privilege to create change.
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Three, change someone's
life significantly.
life significantly.
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So, be there for somebody
throughout their career.
throughout their career.
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Mentor or sponsor them,
give them opportunities as they grow.
give them opportunities as they grow.
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Volunteer -- volunteer for a STEM program,
serving underserved youth.
serving underserved youth.
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Transform your team
to be more diverse and inclusive.
to be more diverse and inclusive.
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And make real commitments
to creating change here.
to creating change here.
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Hold yourself and your team
accountable for creating change.
accountable for creating change.
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And lastly,
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help advocate for change
across your company.
across your company.
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When companies teach
their people to be allies,
their people to be allies,
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diversity and inclusion
programs are stronger.
programs are stronger.
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You and I can be allies for each other,
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whether we're inside or outside of work.
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So, I realized recently
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that I still have lingering shame and fear
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from that moment in my career
when I felt utterly alone,
when I felt utterly alone,
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shut out and unsupported.
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There are millions of people out there,
like me, right now, feeling that way.
like me, right now, feeling that way.
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And it doesn't take much
for us to be there for each other.
for us to be there for each other.
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And when we're there for each other,
when we support one another,
when we support one another,
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we thrive together.
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And when we thrive, we build better teams,
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better products and better companies.
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Allyship is powerful.
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Try it.
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Thank you.
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(Applause)
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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Melinda Epler - Writer, advocateMelinda Epler works with the tech industry to solve diversity and inclusion together.
Why you should listen
Melinda Briana Epler has over 25 years of experience developing business innovation and inclusion strategies for startups, Fortune 500 companies and global NGOs.
As CEO of Change Catalyst, Epler currently works with the tech industry to solve diversity and inclusion together. Using her background in storytelling and large-scale culture change, she is a strategic advisor for tech companies, tech hubs and governments around the world. She co-leads a series of global solutions-focused conferences called Tech Inclusion. Epler is also Director of Program Development at Backstage Capital, a venture capital firm, where she develops startup curriculum and builds healthy local and global entrepreneur ecosystems for underestimated founders.
Previously, Epler was a marketing and culture executive and award-winning documentary filmmaker. Her film and television work includes projects that exposed the AIDS crisis in South Africa, explored women's rights in Turkey and prepared communities for the effects of climate change. She has worked on several television shows, including NBC's "The West Wing."
Epler speaks, mentors and writes about diversity and inclusion in tech, allyship, social entrepreneurship, underrepresented entrepreneurs and investing.
Melinda Epler | Speaker | TED.com