TED2019
David Brooks: The lies our culture tells us about what matters -- and a better way to live
Dejvid Bruks (David Brooks): Laži koje nam naša kultura govori da su bitne, i bolji način življenja
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„Naše društvo se nalazi usred društvene krize”, kaže kolumnista i autor Dejvid Bruks, „zarobljeni smo na dnu izolacije i rascepkanosti. Kako da pronađemo izlaz?” Na osnovu svojih putovanja po Sjedinjenim Državama i susretima sa velikim brojem ljudi poznatim kao „tkači”, Bruks iznosi svoju viziju kulturne revolucije koja nas sve ohrabruje da vodimo život sa više smisla, svrhe i radosti.
David Brooks - Op-ed columnist
Writer and thinker David Brooks has covered business, crime and politics over a long career in journalism. Full bio
Writer and thinker David Brooks has covered business, crime and politics over a long career in journalism. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
So, we all have bad seasons in life.
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Svi smo mi imali loše periode u životu.
00:15
And I had one in 2013.
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Ja sam imao jedan 2013. godine.
00:18
My marriage had just ended,
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Moj brak se upravo raspao
00:19
and I was humiliated
by that failed commitment.
by that failed commitment.
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i bio sam ponižen tom neuspelom vezom.
00:22
My kids had left home for college
or were leaving.
or were leaving.
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Moja deca su napustila dom
zbog fakulteta ili su se spremala da odu.
zbog fakulteta ili su se spremala da odu.
00:26
I grew up mostly
in the conservative movement,
in the conservative movement,
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Odrastao sam u pretežno
konzervativnom okruženju,
konzervativnom okruženju,
00:28
but conservatism had changed,
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ali konzervatizam se menjao,
00:30
so I lost a lot of those friends, too.
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tako da sam i tu
izgubio dosta tih prijatelja.
izgubio dosta tih prijatelja.
00:32
And so what I did is,
I lived alone in an apartment,
I lived alone in an apartment,
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I šta sam radio? Živeo sam
sȃm u stanu i samo radio.
sȃm u stanu i samo radio.
00:35
and I just worked.
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00:37
If you opened the kitchen drawers
where there should have been utensils,
where there should have been utensils,
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Ako biste otvorili ladicu u kuhinji
gde bi trebalo da bude posuđe,
gde bi trebalo da bude posuđe,
tamo su stajale beleške.
00:40
there were Post-it notes.
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00:42
If you opened the other drawers
where there should have been plates,
where there should have been plates,
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Ako biste otvorili drugu ladicu,
gde je trebalo da stoje tanjiri,
gde je trebalo da stoje tanjiri,
ja sam tamo imao koverte.
00:46
I had envelopes.
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00:47
I had work friends, weekday friends,
but I didn't have weekend friends.
but I didn't have weekend friends.
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Imao sam prijatelje sa posla,
prijatelje tokom radnih dana,
prijatelje tokom radnih dana,
ali ne i vikend-prijatelje.
00:51
And so my weekends
were these long, howling silences.
were these long, howling silences.
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Tako da su moji vikendi
bili duge, prazne tišine.
bili duge, prazne tišine.
00:56
And I was lonely.
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Bio sam usamljen.
00:58
And loneliness, unexpectedly,
came to me in the form of --
came to me in the form of --
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A usamljenost je, krajnje neočekivano,
došla do mene u obliku -
došla do mene u obliku -
01:02
it felt like fear,
a burning in my stomach.
a burning in my stomach.
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kao osećaj straha, žar u želucu.
01:05
And it felt a little like drunkenness,
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I pomalo kao pijanstvo -
01:07
just making bad decisions,
just fluidity, lack of solidity.
just fluidity, lack of solidity.
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pravite loše odluke, sve samo protiče,
bez čvrstog oslonca.
bez čvrstog oslonca.
01:13
And the painful part of that moment
was the awareness
was the awareness
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A bolan deo tog momenta je bila svesnost
01:17
that the emptiness in my apartment
was just reflective of the emptiness
was just reflective of the emptiness
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da je praznina mog stana
samo odraz praznine u meni,
samo odraz praznine u meni,
01:20
in myself,
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01:22
and that I had fallen for some of the lies
that our culture tells us.
that our culture tells us.
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i da sam naseo na neke laži
koje nam naša kultura servira.
koje nam naša kultura servira.
01:27
The first lie is that
career success is fulfilling.
career success is fulfilling.
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Prva laž je da nas
poslovni uspeh ispunjava.
poslovni uspeh ispunjava.
01:30
I've had a fair bit of career success,
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Ja sam imao solidan uspeh u poslu,
01:32
and I've found that it helps me avoid
the shame I would feel
the shame I would feel
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i otkrio sam da mi to pomaže
u izbegavanju sramote,
u izbegavanju sramote,
01:35
if I felt myself a failure,
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ako bih se osećao promašeno,
ali mi nije donelo
nikakvo pozitivno dobro.
nikakvo pozitivno dobro.
01:37
but it hasn't given me any positive good.
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01:40
The second lie is I can make myself happy,
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Druga laž je da mogu sebe učiniti srećnim,
01:44
that if I just win one more victory,
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samo ako ostvarim još jednu pobedu,
01:46
lose 15 pounds, do a little more yoga,
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oslabim oko sedam kilograma,
malo više radim jogu
malo više radim jogu
01:50
I'll get happy.
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i biću srećan.
01:51
And that's the lie of self-sufficiency.
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E, to je laž o samodovoljnosti.
01:54
But as anybody
on their deathbed will tell you,
on their deathbed will tell you,
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Ali svako će vam na samrti reći
01:57
the things that make people happy
is the deep relationships of life,
is the deep relationships of life,
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da su stvari koje čine ljude srećnim
u stvari bliski odnosi u životu,
u stvari bliski odnosi u životu,
02:00
the losing of self-sufficiency.
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gubitak samodovoljnosti.
02:03
The third lie is the lie
of the meritocracy.
of the meritocracy.
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Treća laž je laž meritokratije.
02:07
The message of the meritocracy
is you are what you accomplish.
is you are what you accomplish.
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Poruka meritokratije
je da ste vi ono što ste postigli.
je da ste vi ono što ste postigli.
02:11
The myth of the meritocracy
is you can earn dignity
is you can earn dignity
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Mit meritokratije je da možete
steći dostojanstvo
steći dostojanstvo
02:13
by attaching yourself
to prestigious brands.
to prestigious brands.
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povezujući sebe sa prestižnim brendovima.
02:16
The emotion of the meritocracy
is conditional love,
is conditional love,
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Emocija meritokratije je uslovna ljubav,
02:19
you can "earn" your way to love.
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možete „zaraditi” ljubav.
02:20
The anthropology of the meritocracy
is you're not a soul to be purified,
is you're not a soul to be purified,
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Antropologija meritokratije je da vi niste
duša koja treba da se pročisti,
duša koja treba da se pročisti,
02:24
you're a set of skills to be maximized.
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već skup veština koje treba uvećati.
02:26
And the evil of the meritocracy
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A zlo meritokratije
02:28
is that people who've achieved
a little more than others
a little more than others
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je da ljudi koji su postigli
malo više od drugih
malo više od drugih
02:31
are actually worth
a little more than others.
a little more than others.
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u stvari i vrede malo više od drugih.
02:34
And so the wages of sin are sin.
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I tako se za greh plaća grehom.
02:36
And my sins were the sins of omission--
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Moji grehovi su bili grehovi propusta -
02:38
not reaching out,
failing to show up for my friends,
failing to show up for my friends,
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nisam pružio ruku,
nisam bio tu za prijatelje,
nisam bio tu za prijatelje,
bežanje, izbegavanje sukoba.
02:41
evasion, avoiding conflict.
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02:43
And the weird thing was
that as I was falling into the valley --
that as I was falling into the valley --
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Čudna stvar je da,
kako sam propadao u provaliju -
kako sam propadao u provaliju -
02:46
it was a valley of disconnection --
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to je provalija izolacije -
mnogi drugi ljudi
su takođe radili to isto.
su takođe radili to isto.
02:48
a lot of other people
were doing that, too.
were doing that, too.
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02:51
And that's sort of
the secret to my career;
the secret to my career;
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I to je neka vrsta tajne moje profesije;
mnoge stvari koje mi se dešavaju
02:53
a lot of the things that happen to me
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se uvek dešavaju
i velikom broju drugih ljudi.
i velikom broju drugih ljudi.
02:54
are always happening
to a lot of other people.
to a lot of other people.
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Ja sam veoma prosečna osoba
sa natprosečnim veštinama komunikacije.
sa natprosečnim veštinama komunikacije.
02:57
I'm a very average person
with above average communication skills.
with above average communication skills.
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03:00
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
03:01
And so I was detached.
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I tako sam ja bio isključen.
03:03
And at the same time,
a lot of other people were detached
a lot of other people were detached
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Istovremeno, mnogo drugih ljudi
je bilo isključeno,
je bilo isključeno,
03:06
and isolated and fragmented
from each other.
from each other.
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izolovano i razdvojeno jedno od drugih.
03:09
Thirty-five percent of Americans
over 45 are chronically lonely.
over 45 are chronically lonely.
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Trideset pet procenata Amerikanaca
preko 45 godina su hronično usamljeni.
preko 45 godina su hronično usamljeni.
03:12
Only eight percent of Americans
report having meaningful conversation
report having meaningful conversation
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Svega osam procenata Amerikanaca
kaže da smisleno razgovaraju sa komšijama.
kaže da smisleno razgovaraju sa komšijama.
03:15
with their neighbors.
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Svega 32% Amerikanaca
kaže da veruje komšijama,
kaže da veruje komšijama,
03:16
Only 32 percent of Americans
say they trust their neighbors,
say they trust their neighbors,
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03:19
and only 18 percent of millennials.
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od toga samo 18% milenijalaca.
03:21
The fastest-growing
political party is unaffiliated.
political party is unaffiliated.
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Najbrže raste politička stranka
neopredeljenih.
neopredeljenih.
03:24
The fastest-growing religious
movement is unaffiliated.
movement is unaffiliated.
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Najbrže se razvija
religijski pokret neopredeljenih.
religijski pokret neopredeljenih.
Depresija je u porastu,
problemi mentalnog zdravlja su u porastu.
problemi mentalnog zdravlja su u porastu.
03:26
Depression rates are rising,
mental health problems are rising.
mental health problems are rising.
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03:29
The suicide rate has risen
30 percent since 1999.
30 percent since 1999.
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Stopa samoubistava
je porasla 30% od 1999. godine.
je porasla 30% od 1999. godine.
03:33
For teen suicides
over the last several years,
over the last several years,
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Što se tiče samoubistava tinejdžera,
u poslednjih nekoliko godina
u poslednjih nekoliko godina
03:35
the suicide rate has risen by 70 percent.
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stopa samoubistava je porasla za 70%.
03:39
Forty-five thousand Americans
kill themselves every year;
kill themselves every year;
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Svake godine se ubije 45 000 Amerikanaca;
03:41
72,000 die from opioid addictions;
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od zavisnosti od narkotika umre 72 000;
03:44
life expectancy is falling, not rising.
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životni vek se skraćuje, a ne produžava.
03:48
So what I mean to tell you,
I flew out here to say
I flew out here to say
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Ono što želim da vam kažem,
doleteo sam ovamo da kažem
doleteo sam ovamo da kažem
03:51
that we have an economic crisis,
we have environmental crisis,
we have environmental crisis,
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da imamo ekonomsku krizu,
imamo ekološku krizu,
imamo ekološku krizu,
03:54
we have a political crisis.
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imamo političku krizu.
03:55
We also have a social
and relational crisis;
and relational crisis;
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Ali isto tako imamo i društvenu
i krizu u odnosima.
i krizu u odnosima.
03:58
we're in the valley.
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Mi smo u provaliji.
03:59
We're fragmented from each other,
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Razdvojeni smo jedni od drugih,
04:01
we've got cascades of lies
coming out of Washington ...
coming out of Washington ...
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imamo bujice laži
koje nam stižu iz Vašingtona...
koje nam stižu iz Vašingtona...
04:03
We're in the valley.
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Mi smo u provaliji.
04:05
And so I've spent the last five years --
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Zato sam ja proveo poslednjih pet godina -
04:07
how do you get out of a valley?
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kako se izlazi iz provalije?
04:09
The Greeks used to say,
"You suffer your way to wisdom."
"You suffer your way to wisdom."
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Grci su imali običaj da kažu:
„Kroz patnju do mudrosti.”
„Kroz patnju do mudrosti.”
04:13
And from that dark period where I started,
I've had a few realizations.
I've had a few realizations.
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Od tog mračnog perioda u kome sam počeo,
shvatio sam nekoliko stvari.
shvatio sam nekoliko stvari.
04:17
The first is, freedom sucks.
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Kao prvo, sloboda je bez veze.
04:20
Economic freedom is OK,
political freedom is great,
political freedom is great,
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Ekonomska sloboda je okej,
politička sloboda je odlična,
politička sloboda je odlična,
04:23
social freedom sucks.
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društvena sloboda je bez veze.
04:26
The unrooted man is the adrift man.
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Čovek bez korena je napušten čovek.
04:28
The unrooted man is the unremembered man,
because he's uncommitted to things.
because he's uncommitted to things.
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Čovek bez korena je zaboravljen čovek,
zato što nije posvećen ničemu.
zato što nije posvećen ničemu.
04:32
Freedom is not an ocean
you want to swim in,
you want to swim in,
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Sloboda nije okean
u kome želite da zaplivate,
u kome želite da zaplivate,
04:36
it's a river you want to get across,
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to je reka koju želite da pređete,
04:38
so you can commit and plant yourself
on the other side.
on the other side.
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kako biste mogli da se posvetite
i posadite sebe na drugoj strani.
i posadite sebe na drugoj strani.
04:41
The second thing I learned
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Druga stvar koju sam naučio
04:42
is that when you have
one of those bad moments in life,
one of those bad moments in life,
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jeste da, kada imate
loše momente u životu,
loše momente u životu,
možete se ili slomiti,
04:45
you can either be broken,
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04:46
or you can be broken open.
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ili se otvoriti pri padu.
04:48
And we all know people who are broken.
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Svi znamo ljude koji su slomljeni.
04:50
They've endured some pain
or grief, they get smaller,
or grief, they get smaller,
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Pretrpeli su neki bol
ili tugu, smanjili se,
ili tugu, smanjili se,
postali ljuti, ogorčeni, agresivni.
04:53
they get angrier, resentful,
they lash out.
they lash out.
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04:55
As the saying is,
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Kao što izreka kaže:
04:56
"Pain that is not transformed
gets transmitted."
gets transmitted."
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„Bol koji se ne pretvori
u nešto biva prenesen.”
u nešto biva prenesen.”
04:59
But other people are broken open.
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Ali postoje ljudi
koji se otvore kroz svoj pad.
koji se otvore kroz svoj pad.
05:03
Suffering's great power
is that it's an interruption of life.
is that it's an interruption of life.
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Velika snaga patnje
je što ona prekida život.
je što ona prekida život.
05:06
It reminds you you're not the person
you thought you were.
you thought you were.
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Podseća vas da niste osoba
koja ste mislili da jeste.
koja ste mislili da jeste.
05:09
The theologian Paul Tillich said
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Teolog Pol Tilih kaže
05:10
what suffering does is it carves through
what you thought was the floor
what you thought was the floor
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da patnja u stvari rezbari
po onome što je bio pod
po onome što je bio pod
05:14
of the basement of your soul,
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podruma vaše duše,
05:15
and it carves through that,
revealing a cavity below,
revealing a cavity below,
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i ona rezbari kroz dno
otkrivajući šupljine ispod,
otkrivajući šupljine ispod,
05:17
and it carves through that,
revealing a cavity below.
revealing a cavity below.
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rezbari kroz dno,
otkrivajući šupljine ispod.
otkrivajući šupljine ispod.
05:20
You realize there are depths of yourself
you never anticipated,
you never anticipated,
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Shvatate da u vama postoje dubine
koje niste nikada upoznali,
koje niste nikada upoznali,
i jedino duhovna hrana i bliskost
mogu ispuniti te dubine.
mogu ispuniti te dubine.
05:23
and only spiritual and relational food
will fill those depths.
will fill those depths.
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05:28
And when you get down there,
you get out of the head of the ego
you get out of the head of the ego
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A kada se spustite dole,
izađete iz glave svog ega
izađete iz glave svog ega
i dođete do srca,
05:31
and you get into the heart,
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05:32
the desiring heart.
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srca punog želja.
05:34
The idea that what we really yearn for
is longing and love for another,
is longing and love for another,
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Ideja da je ono za čim stvarno žudimo
pripadnost i ljubav prema drugima,
pripadnost i ljubav prema drugima,
05:38
the kind of thing that Louis de Bernières
described in his book,
described in his book,
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to su stvari koje je Lui De Bernije
opisao u svojoj knjizi
opisao u svojoj knjizi
„Mandolina kapetana Korelija”.
05:41
"Captain Corelli's Mandolin."
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05:43
He had an old guy talking to his daughter
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Tu je jedan starac pričao sa ćerkom
o svom odnosu sa pokojnom ženom,
05:45
about his relationship with his late wife,
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05:47
and the old guy says,
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i starac je rekao:
05:48
"Love itself is whatever is leftover
when being in love is burned away.
when being in love is burned away.
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„Ljubav sama po sebi je ono što ostane
kada zaljubljenost izgori.
kada zaljubljenost izgori.
05:52
And this is both an art
and a fortunate accident.
and a fortunate accident.
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I to je i umetnost i srećna okolnost.
05:55
Your mother and I had it.
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Tvoja majka i ja smo imali to.
05:57
We had roots that grew
towards each other underground,
towards each other underground,
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Naše korenje je raslo pod zemljom
jedno prema drugome,
jedno prema drugome,
05:59
and when all the pretty blossoms
had fallen from our branches,
had fallen from our branches,
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i kada je sve prelepo cveće
opalo sa naših grana,
opalo sa naših grana,
otkrili smo da smo jedno drvo, a ne dva.”
06:02
we discovered that we are
one tree and not two."
one tree and not two."
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06:05
That's what the heart yearns for.
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To je ono čemu srce žudi.
06:07
The second thing
you discover is your soul.
you discover is your soul.
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Druga stvar koju otkrijete je vaša duša.
06:10
Now, I don't ask you to believe in God
or not believe in God,
or not believe in God,
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Ne tražim od vas da verujete
ili ne verujete u boga,
ili ne verujete u boga,
ali tražim da verujete
da postoji jedan vaš delić
da postoji jedan vaš delić
06:13
but I do ask you to believe
that there's a piece of you
that there's a piece of you
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koji nema oblik, veličinu, boju ni težinu,
06:16
that has no shape, size, color or weight,
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ali vam daje beskonačno
dostojanstvo i vrednost.
dostojanstvo i vrednost.
06:18
but that gives you
infinite dignity and value.
infinite dignity and value.
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06:21
Rich and successful people
don't have more of this
don't have more of this
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Bogati i uspešni ljudi nemaju toga više
od onih koji su manje uspešni.
06:23
than less successful people.
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06:25
Slavery is wrong because
it's an obliteration of another soul.
it's an obliteration of another soul.
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Ropstvo je loše zato što predstavlja
uništenje druge duše.
uništenje druge duše.
06:29
Rape is not just an attack
on a bunch of physical molecules,
on a bunch of physical molecules,
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Silovanje nije samo napad
na gomilu fizičkih molekula,
na gomilu fizičkih molekula,
06:32
it's an attempt to insult
another person's soul.
another person's soul.
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to je pokušaj da se uvredi
duša druge osobe.
duša druge osobe.
06:34
And what the soul does
is it yearns for righteousness.
is it yearns for righteousness.
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A ono za čim duša žudi je pravednost.
06:38
The heart yearns for fusion with another,
the soul yearns for righteousness.
the soul yearns for righteousness.
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Srce žudi za spajanjem sa drugim bićem,
a duša žudi za pravednošću.
a duša žudi za pravednošću.
06:41
And that led to my third realization,
which I borrowed from Einstein:
which I borrowed from Einstein:
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To nas vodi do mog trećeg otkrovenja,
koje sam pozajmio od Ajnštajna:
koje sam pozajmio od Ajnštajna:
06:45
"The problem you have
is not going to be solved
is not going to be solved
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„Problem koji imate se neće rešiti
06:48
at the level of consciousness
on which you created it.
on which you created it.
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na nivou svesti na kome je stvoren.
06:50
You have to expand
to a different level of consciousness."
to a different level of consciousness."
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Morate se proširiti
do drugih nivoa svesnosti.”
do drugih nivoa svesnosti.”
06:54
So what do you do?
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Šta treba da radimo?
06:56
Well, the first thing you do
is you throw yourself on your friends
is you throw yourself on your friends
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Prva stvar koju treba da uradite
jeste da se otvorite pred prijateljima
jeste da se otvorite pred prijateljima
06:59
and you have deeper conversations
that you ever had before.
that you ever had before.
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i da vodite dublje razgovore
nego što ste ih pre vodili.
nego što ste ih pre vodili.
Ali druga stvar koju morate uraditi
je da morate otići sami u divljinu.
je da morate otići sami u divljinu.
07:02
But the second thing you do,
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07:03
you have to go out alone
into the wilderness.
into the wilderness.
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Idite na mesto gde nema nikoga
pred kim ćete se pretvarati,
pred kim ćete se pretvarati,
07:05
You go out into that place
where there's nobody there to perform,
where there's nobody there to perform,
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i gde ego nema šta da radi,
pa će se smrviti.
pa će se smrviti.
07:08
and the ego has nothing to do,
and it crumbles,
and it crumbles,
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Tek tada ćete biti sposobni
da budete voljeni.
da budete voljeni.
07:11
and only then are you capable
of being loved.
of being loved.
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07:13
I have a friend who said
that when her daughter was born,
that when her daughter was born,
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Imam prijateljicu koji kaže da je,
kada se njena ćerka rodila,
kada se njena ćerka rodila,
07:17
she realized that she loved her
more than evolution required.
more than evolution required.
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shvatila da je voli više
nego što to evolucija zahteva.
nego što to evolucija zahteva.
07:21
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
07:22
And I've always loved that.
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To me je uvek oduševljavalo.
07:23
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
07:24
Because it talks about the peace
that's at the deep of ourself,
that's at the deep of ourself,
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Zato što to govori o miru
koji se nalazi duboko u nama,
koji se nalazi duboko u nama,
07:27
our inexplicable care for one another.
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našoj neizrecivoj brizi za drugoga.
07:30
And when you touch that spot,
you're ready to be rescued.
you're ready to be rescued.
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Kada stignete do te tačke,
spremni ste za spasenje.
spremni ste za spasenje.
07:33
The hard thing about
when you're in the valley
when you're in the valley
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Teška stvar je da, kada ste na dnu,
07:37
is that you can't climb out;
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ne možete se uspeti,
07:38
somebody has to reach in and pull you out.
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već neko mora da vam pruži ruku
i povuče vas napolje.
i povuče vas napolje.
07:41
It happened to me.
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To se desilo meni.
07:42
I got, luckily, invited over to a house
by a couple named Kathy and David,
by a couple named Kathy and David,
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Pozvan sam, srećom, u kuću
para po imenu Keti i Dejvid,
para po imenu Keti i Dejvid,
07:46
and they were --
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a oni su bili -
07:48
They had a kid in the DC
public school, his name's Santi.
public school, his name's Santi.
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Imali su sina u državnoj školi
u Vašingtonu, po imenu Santi.
u Vašingtonu, po imenu Santi.
07:50
Santi had a friend
who needed a place to stay
who needed a place to stay
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Santi je imao prijatelja
kome je trebalo prenoćište
kome je trebalo prenoćište
07:53
because his mom had some health issues.
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jer mu je mama bila bolesna.
07:54
And then that kid had a friend
and that kid had a friend.
and that kid had a friend.
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Onda je taj klinac imao prijatelja,
a on je opet imao prijatelja.
a on je opet imao prijatelja.
07:57
When I went to their house six years ago,
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Kada sam otišao do njih pre šest godina,
07:59
I walk in the door, there's like
25 around the kitchen table,
25 around the kitchen table,
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video sam da ih je oko 25
oko kuhinjskog stola,
oko kuhinjskog stola,
čitava gomila ih je spavala u podrumu.
08:02
a whole bunch sleeping
downstairs in the basement.
downstairs in the basement.
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08:04
I reach out to introduce myself to a kid,
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Pružio sam ruku da se predstavim klincu,
08:07
and he says, "We don't really
shake hands here.
shake hands here.
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a on mi je rekao: „Mi se u stvari
i ne rukujemo ovde.
i ne rukujemo ovde.
08:10
We just hug here."
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Mi se ovde zagrlimo.”
08:12
And I'm not the huggiest guy
on the face of the earth,
on the face of the earth,
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Ja nisam baš tip koji voli grljenje
najviše na svetu,
najviše na svetu,
08:15
but I've been going back to that home
every Thursday night when I'm in town,
every Thursday night when I'm in town,
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ali odlazim u tu kuću
svakog četvrtka uveče ako sam u gradu,
svakog četvrtka uveče ako sam u gradu,
08:18
and just hugging all those kids.
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i jednostavno izgrlim svu tu decu.
08:20
They demand intimacy.
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Oni zahtevaju bliskost.
08:22
They demand that you behave in a way
where you're showing all the way up.
where you're showing all the way up.
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Oni zahtevaju da se ponašate
tako da ste potpuno prisutni.
tako da ste potpuno prisutni.
08:26
And they teach you a new way to live,
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I uče vas novom načinu života,
koji je lek za sve bolesti naše kulture,
08:28
which is the cure
for all the ills of our culture
for all the ills of our culture
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koji je put direktnog -
stvarnog stavljanja odnosa na prvo mesto,
stvarnog stavljanja odnosa na prvo mesto,
08:30
which is a way of direct --
really putting relationship first,
really putting relationship first,
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ne samo rečima, već stvarno.
08:33
not just as a word, but as a reality.
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08:37
And the beautiful thing is,
these communities are everywhere.
these communities are everywhere.
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A divna stvar je što
su ove zajednice svugde.
su ove zajednice svugde.
08:41
I started something at the Aspen Institute
called "Weave: The Social Fabric."
called "Weave: The Social Fabric."
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Započeo sam nešto na Institutu Aspen,
pod nazivom: „Tkanje: materijal društva”.
pod nazivom: „Tkanje: materijal društva”.
08:45
This is our logo here.
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Ovo je naš logo.
08:46
And we plop into a place and we find
weavers anywhere, everywhere.
weavers anywhere, everywhere.
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Upadnemo negde i nađemo tkače svugde.
08:50
We find people like Asiaha Butler,
who grew up in --
who grew up in --
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Pronalazimo ljude poput Ajše Batler,
koja je odrasla u -
koja je odrasla u -
08:54
who lived in Chicago, in Englewood,
in a tough neighborhood.
in a tough neighborhood.
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koja je živela u Čikagu u Englevudu,
u nezgodnom kraju.
u nezgodnom kraju.
08:56
And she was about to move
because it was so dangerous,
because it was so dangerous,
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Razmišljala je da se odseli
zato što je bilo veoma opasno,
zato što je bilo veoma opasno,
09:00
and she looked across the street
and she saw two little girls
and she saw two little girls
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pogledala je prekoputa
i videla dve devojčice
i videla dve devojčice
09:03
playing in an empty lot
with broken bottles,
with broken bottles,
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kako se igraju na praznom igralištu
sa slomljenim flašama.
sa slomljenim flašama.
09:05
and she turned to her husband
and she said, "We're not leaving.
and she said, "We're not leaving.
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Okrenula se prema svom mužu
i rekla: „Ne selimo se.
i rekla: „Ne selimo se.
09:08
We're not going to be just another family
that abandon that."
that abandon that."
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Nećemo biti još jedna porodica
koja je ovo napustila.”
koja je ovo napustila.”
09:11
And she Googled "volunteer in Englewood,"
and now she runs R.A.G.E.,
and now she runs R.A.G.E.,
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Izguglala je „volontiranje u Englevudu”
i sada tamo vodi R.A.G.E,
i sada tamo vodi R.A.G.E,
veliku lokalnu organizaciju.
09:14
the big community organization there.
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Neki od ovih ljudi su imali teške padove.
09:16
Some of these people
have had tough valleys.
have had tough valleys.
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09:19
I met a woman named Sarah in Ohio
who came home from an antiquing trip
who came home from an antiquing trip
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Upoznao sam ženu po imenu Sara
iz Ohaja koja se vratila kući s puta
iz Ohaja koja se vratila kući s puta
09:23
and found that her husband
had killed himself and their two kids.
had killed himself and their two kids.
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i saznala da je njen muž
ubio njihovo dvoje dece i sebe.
ubio njihovo dvoje dece i sebe.
09:27
She now runs a free pharmacy,
she volunteers in the community,
she volunteers in the community,
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Ona sada vodi besplatnu apoteku,
volontira u zajednici,
volontira u zajednici,
09:31
she helps women cope
with violence, she teaches.
with violence, she teaches.
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pomaže ženama da se uhvate u koštac
sa nasiljem, predaje.
sa nasiljem, predaje.
09:34
She told me, "I grew from this
experience because I was angry.
experience because I was angry.
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Rekla mi je: „Iz ovog iskustva sam izrasla
zato što sam bila ljuta,
zato što sam bila ljuta,
09:37
I was going to fight back against
what he tried to do to me
what he tried to do to me
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borila sam se protiv onoga
što je on pokušao da mi uradi
što je on pokušao da mi uradi
time što ću promeniti nešto na ovom svetu.
09:40
by making a difference in the world.
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09:41
See, he didn't kill me.
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Vidiš, nije me ubio.
09:43
My response to him is,
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Moj odgovor njemu je:
09:45
'Whatever you meant to do to me,
screw you, you're not going to do it.'"
screw you, you're not going to do it.'"
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„Šta god si mislio da mi uradiš,
šipak, nećeš mi to uraditi.“
šipak, nećeš mi to uraditi.“
09:50
These weavers are not living
an individualistic life,
an individualistic life,
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Ovi tkači ne žive odvojene živote,
09:53
they're living a relationist life,
they have a different set of values.
they have a different set of values.
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oni žive povezane živote,
imaju drugačiji skup vrednosti.
imaju drugačiji skup vrednosti.
Imaju moralnu motivaciju.
09:56
They have moral motivations.
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09:58
They have vocational certitude,
they have planted themselves down.
they have planted themselves down.
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Imaju profesionalnu sigurnost,
oni su pustili korenje.
oni su pustili korenje.
Upoznao sam lika u Jangstaunu u Ohaju
10:01
I met a guy in Youngstown, Ohio,
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10:03
who just held up a sign
in the town square,
in the town square,
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koji je držao transprarent
na gradskom trgu:
na gradskom trgu:
10:05
"Defend Youngstown."
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„Odbranite Jangstaun”.
10:06
They have radical mutuality,
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Oni imaju ekstremno zajedništvo,
10:08
and they are geniuses at relationship.
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i geniiji su u međuljudskim odnosima.
10:11
There's a woman named Mary Gordon
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Jedna žena po imenu Meri Gordon
10:12
who runs something
called Roots of Empathy.
called Roots of Empathy.
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vodi nešto pod nazivom „Koreni empatije“.
Oni pokupe gomilu dece, osmaka,
10:15
And what they do is they take
a bunch of kids, an eighth grade class,
a bunch of kids, an eighth grade class,
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10:18
they put a mom and an infant,
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i stave ih zajedno sa mamama i bebama,
10:20
and then the students have to guess
what the infant is thinking,
what the infant is thinking,
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a onda đaci moraju da pogode
o čemu beba razmišlja,
o čemu beba razmišlja,
kako bi ih učili empatiji.
10:23
to teach empathy.
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10:24
There was one kid in a class
who was bigger than the rest
who was bigger than the rest
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Bio je jedan dečak u razredu
koji je bio veći od ostalih
koji je bio veći od ostalih
10:27
because he'd been held back,
been through the foster care system,
been through the foster care system,
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zato što je dosta propustio u školi,
bio je u sistemu hraniteljske porodice,
bio je u sistemu hraniteljske porodice,
10:31
seen his mom get killed.
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video kako mu ubijaju majku.
10:32
And he wanted to hold the baby.
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I on je želeo da drži bebu.
10:34
And the mom was nervous
because he looked big and scary.
because he looked big and scary.
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Mama je bila nervozna
zato što je bio velik i zastrašujući.
zato što je bio velik i zastrašujući.
10:37
But she let this kid,
Darren, hold the baby.
Darren, hold the baby.
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Alii je ipak pustila tog klinca,
Darena, da drži bebu.
Darena, da drži bebu.
10:39
He held it, and he was great with it.
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Držao ju je i odlično mu je išlo.
10:43
He gave the baby back and started
asking questions about parenthood.
asking questions about parenthood.
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Vratio je bebu i počeo
da se raspituje o roditeljstvu.
da se raspituje o roditeljstvu.
10:47
And his final question was,
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Njegovo poslednje pitanje je bilo:
10:48
"If nobody has ever loved you,
do you think you can be a good father?"
do you think you can be a good father?"
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„Ako vas niko nikada nije voleo,
da li mislite da možete biti dobar otac?”
da li mislite da možete biti dobar otac?”
10:52
And so what Roots of Empathy does
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Ono što „Koreni empatije“ rade
10:54
is they reach down and they grab
people out of the valley.
people out of the valley.
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jeste da pruže ruku i čupaju ljude sa dna.
To je ono što tkači rade.
10:57
And that's what weavers are doing.
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11:01
Some of them switch jobs.
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Neki od njih menjaju poslove.
11:03
Some of them stay in their same jobs.
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Neki ostaju na istim poslovima.
11:06
But one thing is,
they have an intensity to them.
they have an intensity to them.
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Ali stvar je u tome
što oni imaju strast prema njima.
što oni imaju strast prema njima.
11:09
I read this --
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Pročitao sam ovo -
11:11
E.O. Wilson wrote a great book
called "Naturalist," about his childhood.
called "Naturalist," about his childhood.
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5987
E. O. Vilson je napisao sjajnu knjigu
pod nazivom „Prirodnjak”,
pod nazivom „Prirodnjak”,
o svom detinjstvu.
11:17
When he was seven,
his parents were divorcing.
his parents were divorcing.
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Kada je imao sedam godina,
roditelji su mu se razveli.
roditelji su mu se razveli.
11:21
And they sent him
to Paradise Beach in North Florida.
to Paradise Beach in North Florida.
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Poslali su ga u Paradajs Bič
u Severnoj Floridi.
u Severnoj Floridi.
11:24
And he'd never seen the ocean before.
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1836
Nikada pre nije video okean.
11:26
And he'd never seen a jellyfish before.
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Nikada pre nije video ni meduzu.
11:29
He wrote, "The creature was astonishing.
It existed beyond my imagination."
It existed beyond my imagination."
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Napisao je: „Biće je bilo neverovatno,
prevazišlo je sva moja očekivanja.”
prevazišlo je sva moja očekivanja.”
11:33
He was sitting on the dock one day
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Jednog dana, sedeo je na obali
11:35
and he saw a stingray
float beneath his feet.
float beneath his feet.
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2737
i video ražu kako pluta
ispod njegovih nogu.
ispod njegovih nogu.
11:38
And at that moment, a naturalist was born
in the awe and wonder.
in the awe and wonder.
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U tom momentu se rodio prirodnjak
iz čuđenja i radoznalosti.
iz čuđenja i radoznalosti.
11:42
And he makes this observation:
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On beleži sledeću opasku:
11:44
that when you're a child,
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da, kada ste dete,
11:45
you see animals at twice the size
as you do as an adult.
as you do as an adult.
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vidite životinje duplo veće
nego što to odrasli vide.
nego što to odrasli vide.
11:50
And that has always impressed me,
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To me je uvek fasciniralo,
11:51
because what we want as kids
is that moral intensity,
is that moral intensity,
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jer ono što mi kao deca želimo
jeste ta moralna strast,
jeste ta moralna strast,
11:56
to be totally given ourselves
over to something
over to something
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da se u potpunosti predamo nečemu
11:59
and to find that level of vocation.
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i da pronađemo taj nivo profesije.
12:02
And when you are around these weavers,
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Kada ste u okruženju ovih tkača,
12:04
they see other people
at twice the size as normal people.
at twice the size as normal people.
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oni vide druge ljude kao duplo veće
u odnosu na normalne ljude.
u odnosu na normalne ljude.
12:07
They see deeper into them.
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Oni ih vide dublje.
12:09
And what they see is joy.
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I ono što vide je radost.
12:13
On the first mountain of our life,
when we're shooting for our career,
when we're shooting for our career,
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Na prvoj planini života,
kada težimo ka karijeri,
kada težimo ka karijeri,
12:16
we shoot for happiness.
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mi tražimo sreću.
12:19
And happiness is good,
it's the expansion of self.
it's the expansion of self.
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Sreća je dobra, to je proširenje sebe.
12:22
You win a victory,
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Pobedili ste,
12:24
you get a promotion,
your team wins the Super Bowl,
your team wins the Super Bowl,
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dobili ste unapređenje,
vaš tim je pobedio na Super boulu,
vaš tim je pobedio na Super boulu,
12:28
you're happy.
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srećni ste.
12:30
Joy is not the expansion of self,
it's the dissolving of self.
it's the dissolving of self.
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Radost nije proširenje sebe,
to je razrešenje od sebe.
to je razrešenje od sebe.
12:34
It's the moment when the skin barrier
disappears between a mother and her child,
disappears between a mother and her child,
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To je momenat kada barijera u vidu kože
nestaje između majke i njenog deteta,
nestaje između majke i njenog deteta,
12:39
it's the moment when a naturalist
feels just free in nature.
feels just free in nature.
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to je momenat kada se prirodnjak
oseća jednostavno slobodno u prirodi.
oseća jednostavno slobodno u prirodi.
12:43
It's the moment where you're so lost
in your work or a cause,
in your work or a cause,
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To je momenat kada ste toliko zadubljeni
u svoj posao ili nešto drugo,
u svoj posao ili nešto drugo,
12:46
you have totally self-forgotten.
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da ste potpuno zaboravili na sebe.
12:48
And joy is a better thing
to aim for than happiness.
to aim for than happiness.
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A radost je mnogo bolja stvar od sreće.
12:51
I collect passages of joy,
of people when they lose it.
of people when they lose it.
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Ja prikupljam delove radosti ljudi
kada se izgube u nečemu.
kada se izgube u nečemu.
12:54
One of my favorite is from Zadie Smith.
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Jedna od mojih omiljenih je od Zajdi Smit.
12:56
In 1999, she was in a London nightclub,
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Godine 1999. ona je bila
u londonskom noćnom klubu,
u londonskom noćnom klubu,
13:00
looking for her friends,
wondering where her handbag was.
wondering where her handbag was.
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tražeći svoje prijatelje,
pitajući se gde joj je tašnica.
pitajući se gde joj je tašnica.
13:03
And suddenly, as she writes,
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Odjednom, kako je napisala:
13:05
"... a rail-thin man with enormous eyes
reached across a sea of bodies
reached across a sea of bodies
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„...čovek tanak kao grana
sa ogromnim očima posegao je,
sa ogromnim očima posegao je,
preko mora tela, za mojom rukom.
13:08
for my hand.
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13:10
He kept asking me the same thing
over and over, 'Are you feeling it?'
over and over, 'Are you feeling it?'
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Stalno me je pitao
jedno te isto: „Osećaš li to?”
jedno te isto: „Osećaš li to?”
13:13
My ridiculous heels were killing me,
I was terrified that I might die,
I was terrified that I might die,
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Glupe štikle su me ubijale
i bojala sam se da mogu umreti,
i bojala sam se da mogu umreti,
13:17
yet I felt simultaneously
overwhelmed with delight
overwhelmed with delight
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ali sam istovremeno
bila preplavljena oduševljenjem
bila preplavljena oduševljenjem
13:20
that 'Can I Kick It?'
should happen to be playing
should happen to be playing
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što je pesma „Can I Kick It?”
išla u ovom dragocenom
momentu istorije sveta
momentu istorije sveta
13:22
on this precise moment
in the history of the world
in the history of the world
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na zvučniku,
13:24
on the sound system,
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i sada je prelazila u „Teen Spirit”.
13:26
and it was now morphing
into 'Teen Spirit.'
into 'Teen Spirit.'
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13:28
I took the man's hand,
the top of my head blew away,
the top of my head blew away,
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Prihvatila sam ruku čoveka i otkačila se.
13:31
we danced, we danced,
we gave ourselves up to joy."
we gave ourselves up to joy."
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Plesali smo, plesali
i prepustili se radosti.”
i prepustili se radosti.”
13:35
And so what I'm trying to describe
is two different life mindsets.
is two different life mindsets.
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Ono što pokušavam da opišem
su dva različita sistema razmišljanja.
su dva različita sistema razmišljanja.
13:39
The first mountain mindset, which is about
individual happiness and career success.
individual happiness and career success.
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Prvi je sistem planine, koji se zasniva
na ličnoj sreći i uspehu u poslu.
na ličnoj sreći i uspehu u poslu.
13:44
And it's a good mindset,
I have nothing against it.
I have nothing against it.
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To je dobar sistem razmišljanja,
nemam ništa protiv njega.
nemam ništa protiv njega.
13:47
But we're in a national valley,
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Ali mi se nalazimo na nacionalnom dnu,
13:49
because we don't have
the other mindset to balance it.
the other mindset to balance it.
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zato što nemamo razvijen
drugi način razmišljanja
drugi način razmišljanja
da održavamo ravnotežu.
13:52
We no longer feel good
about ourselves as a people,
about ourselves as a people,
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Više se ne osećamo dobro kao narod,
13:54
we've lost our defining
faith in our future,
faith in our future,
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izgubili smo veru u budućnost,
13:57
we don't see each other deeply,
we don't treat each other as well.
we don't treat each other as well.
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ne gledamo jedni druge dublje,
ne ophodimo se dobro jedni prema drugima.
ne ophodimo se dobro jedni prema drugima.
14:01
And we need a lot of changes.
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I potrebno nam je puno promena.
14:03
We need an economic change
and environmental change.
and environmental change.
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Potrebne su nam ekonomske promene
i ekološke promene.
i ekološke promene.
14:06
But we also need a cultural
and relational revolution.
and relational revolution.
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Ali nam isto tako treba i kulturna promena
i promena u odnosima.
i promena u odnosima.
14:09
We need to name the language
of a recovered society.
of a recovered society.
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Potrebno nam je da imenujemo jezik
oporavljenog društva.
oporavljenog društva.
14:14
And to me, the weavers
have found that language.
have found that language.
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Za mene, tkači su našli taj jezik.
14:17
My theory of social change
is that society changes
is that society changes
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Moja teorija društvene promene
jeste da se društvo menja
jeste da se društvo menja
14:20
when a small group of people
find a better way to live,
find a better way to live,
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kada mala grupa ljudi
pronađe bolji način življenja,
pronađe bolji način življenja,
14:23
and the rest of us copy them.
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a mi ostali ih kopiramo.
14:25
And these weavers have found
a better way to live.
a better way to live.
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Ovi tkači su našli bolji način življenja.
14:28
And you don't have to theorize about it.
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Nema potrebe za teoretisanjem oko toga.
14:30
They are out there as community builders
all around the country.
all around the country.
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Oni su prisutni širom zemlje
kao graditelji društva.
kao graditelji društva.
14:34
We just have to shift our lives a little,
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Samo treba malo da promenimo naše živote,
14:36
so we can say, "I'm a weaver,
we're a weaver."
we're a weaver."
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i možemo da kažemo:
„Ja sam tkač, mi smo tkači.”
„Ja sam tkač, mi smo tkači.”
14:39
And if we do that,
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Ako to uradimo,
14:42
the hole inside ourselves gets filled,
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naše celo unutrašnje biće
će biti ispunjeno,
će biti ispunjeno,
14:44
but more important,
the social unity gets repaired.
the social unity gets repaired.
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ali što je još važnije,
društveno jedinstvo će se popraviti.
društveno jedinstvo će se popraviti.
14:47
Thank you very much.
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Hvala vam mnogo.
14:48
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
David Brooks - Op-ed columnistWriter and thinker David Brooks has covered business, crime and politics over a long career in journalism.
Why you should listen
David Brooks became an Op-Ed columnist for The New York Times in September 2003. He is currently a commentator on "The PBS Newshour," NPR’s "All Things Considered" and NBC's "Meet the Press."
He is the author of Bobos in Paradise and The Social Animal. In April 2015, he released with his fourth book, The Road to Character, which was a #1 New York Times bestseller.
Brooks also teaches at Yale University, and is a member of the American Academy of Arts & Sciences.
Born on August 11, 1961 in Toronto, Canada, Brooks graduated a bachelor of history from the University of Chicago in 1983. He became a police reporter for the City News Bureau, a wire service owned jointly by the Chicago Tribune and Sun-Times.
He worked at The Washington Times and then The Wall Street Journal for nine years. His last post at the Journal was as Op-ed Editor. Prior to that, he was posted in Brussels, covering Russia, the Middle East, South Africa and European affairs. His first post at the Journal was as editor of the book review section, and he filled in as the Journal's movie critic.
He also served as a senior editor at The Weekly Standard for 9 years, as well as contributing editor for The Atlantic and Newsweek.
David Brooks | Speaker | TED.com