David Brooks: The lies our culture tells us about what matters -- and a better way to live
David Brooks: Minciunile pe care cultura noastră ni le spune despre ceea ce contează și un mod de a trăi mai bine
Writer and thinker David Brooks has covered business, crime and politics over a long career in journalism. Full bio
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by that failed commitment.
de eșecul acelui angajament.
or were leaving.
sau erau pe picior de plecare.
în mişcarea conservatoare,
in the conservative movement,
mulţi prieteni și de acolo.
I lived alone in an apartment,
singur într-un apartament,
unde ar fi trebuit să fie ustensilele,
where there should have been utensils,
where there should have been plates,
unde ar fi trebuit să fie farfuriile,
but I didn't have weekend friends.
dar nu prieteni de weekend.
niște tăceri lungi şi urlătoare.
were these long, howling silences.
came to me in the form of --
a venit la mine sub forma...
a burning in my stomach.
de arsuri în stomac.
just fluidity, lack of solidity.
doar fluiditate, lipsă de soliditate.
was the awareness
era conştientizarea
was just reflective of the emptiness
era o reflecţie ca goliciunii
that our culture tells us.
pe care cultura noastră ni le spune.
career success is fulfilling.
în carieră te împlineşte.
the shame I would feel
pe care aş fi simţit-o
că doar eu mă pot face fericit,
mai fac un pic de yoga,
on their deathbed will tell you,
de moarte ți-ar spune
is the deep relationships of life,
sunt relaţiile profunde din viaţă,
of the meritocracy.
minciuna meritocraţiei.
is you are what you accomplish.
că eşti ceea ce realizezi.
că poţi să câştigi demnitate
is you can earn dignity
to prestigious brands.
is conditional love,
iubirea condiţionată,
drumul spre iubire.
is you're not a soul to be purified,
că nu eşti un suflet ce trebuie purificat,
a little more than others
mai mult decât alţii
a little more than others.
prin omisiune:
failing to show up for my friends,
o mână de ajutor prietenilor,
that as I was falling into the valley --
că mă prăbușeam într-o vale,
were doing that, too.
the secret to my career;
care mi s-au întâmplat
to a lot of other people.
cu aptitudini de comunicare peste medie.
with above average communication skills.
a lot of other people were detached
mulţi oameni erau detaşaţi
from each other.
over 45 are chronically lonely.
sunt singuratici cronic.
report having meaningful conversation
că au conversaţii semnificative
say they trust their neighbors,
că au încredere în vecinii lor,
political party is unaffiliated.
nu au preferințe politice.
cea mai rapidă e cea ateistă.
movement is unaffiliated.
mental health problems are rising.
bolile mintale la fel.
30 percent since 1999.
over the last several years,
în ultimii ani,
se sinucid în fiecare an;
kill themselves every year;
dependenței de opioide;
I flew out here to say
we have environmental crisis,
avem o criză a mediului,
şi relaţională;
and relational crisis;
coming out of Washington ...
venind de la Washington...
"You suffer your way to wisdom."
„Suferi până ajungi la înţelepciune.”
am înțeles câteva lucruri.
I've had a few realizations.
political freedom is great,
libertatea politică e foarte bună,
care e uitat pentru că nu e devotat.
because he's uncommitted to things.
you want to swim in,
on the other side.
şi hotărî odată ce l-ai traversat.
one of those bad moments in life,
ai acele momente grele în viaţă,
or grief, they get smaller,
devin mai mici,
they lash out.
plin de resentimente, devin violenţi.
gets transmitted."
devine transmisibilă.”
is that it's an interruption of life.
că e o întrerupere a vieţii.
you thought you were.
care credeai că eşti.
what you thought was the floor
prin ce credeai tu că e podeaua
revealing a cavity below,
încă un gol dedesubt,
revealing a cavity below.
dezvăluind încă un gol dedesubt.
you never anticipated,
mai mult decât ai anticipat vreodată,
will fill those depths.
va umple acele goluri.
you get out of the head of the ego
şi dragostea celor apropiați,
is longing and love for another,
described in his book,
l-a descrisă în cartea sa,
tot ce înseamnă a fi îndrăgostit.
when being in love is burned away.
and a fortunate accident.
între noi,
towards each other underground,
had fallen from our branches,
de pe ramurile noastre,
one tree and not two."
un singur copac, şi nu doi.”
you discover is your soul.
este sufletul tău.
or not believe in God,
dacă credeţi sau nu în Dumnezeu,
că există ceva în voi
that there's a piece of you
mărime, culoare sau greutate,
şi valoare infinite.
infinite dignity and value.
don't have more of this
nu au mai mult
pentru că îți distruge sufletul.
it's an obliteration of another soul.
on a bunch of physical molecules,
asupra unor molecule fizice,
another person's soul.
sufletului altei persoane.
is it yearns for righteousness.
the soul yearns for righteousness.
sufletul tânjeşte după dreptate.
which I borrowed from Einstein:
pe care am împrumutat-o de la Einstein:
is not going to be solved
nu poate fi soluţionată
on which you created it.
la care a fost creată.
to a different level of consciousness."
la un alt nivel de conştientizare.”
is you throw yourself on your friends
e să apelați la prieteni
pe care nu le-ați avut niciodată.
that you ever had before.
into the wilderness.
where there's nobody there to perform,
şi acesta se fărâmă,
and it crumbles,
capabil de a fi iubit.
of being loved.
că atunci când fiica sa s-a născut
that when her daughter was born,
more than evolution required.
mai mult decât o cerea evoluţia.
that's at the deep of ourself,
care e în interiorul nostru,
you're ready to be rescued.
eşti gata să fii salvat.
when you're in the valley
să ieși de acolo.
by a couple named Kathy and David,
în casa unui cuplu, Kathy şi David,
public school, his name's Santi.
din Washington, pe nume Santi.
who needed a place to stay
care nu avea unde să stea
and that kid had a friend.
şi acela avea şi el un copil.
25 around the kitchen table,
downstairs in the basement.
să fac cunoştinţă cu un copil,
shake hands here.
on the face of the earth,
amator de îmbrăţişări,
every Thursday night when I'm in town,
în fiecare joi când eram în localitate,
frumos până la capăt.
where you're showing all the way up.
for all the ills of our culture
toate bolile culturii noastre
really putting relationship first,
relaţiile pe primul loc,
these communities are everywhere.
că aceste comunităţi sunt peste tot.
called "Weave: The Social Fabric."
„Ţesătura: Materialul Social.”
weavers anywhere, everywhere.
și găsim „ţesători” peste tot.
who grew up in --
Asiaha Butler, care au crescut în...
in a tough neighborhood.
în Englewood, un cartier rău famat.
because it was so dangerous,
pentru că era foarte periculos,
and she saw two little girls
with broken bottles,
goală cu sticle sparte
and she said, "We're not leaving.
şi i-a spus: „Nu plecăm.
that abandon that."
care să abandoneze asta.”
„Voluntar în Englewood”
and now she runs R.A.G.E.,
have had tough valleys.
who came home from an antiquing trip
s-a întors acasă din vacanță
a ucis copiii și s-a sinucis.
had killed himself and their two kids.
face voluntariat în comunitate,
she volunteers in the community,
de violență, predă.
with violence, she teaches.
experience because I was angry.
pentru că am fost furioasă.
what he tried to do to me
a ceea ce el a încercat să-mi facă
screw you, you're not going to do it.'"
du-te naibii, nu vei reuși.”
an individualistic life,
vieţi individualiste,
they have a different set of values.
au seturi de valori diferite.
they have planted themselves down.
s-au înfipt în pământ.
in the town square,
called Roots of Empathy.
a bunch of kids, an eighth grade class,
what the infant is thinking,
să ghicească ce gândeşte copilul,
who was bigger than the rest
care era mai mare decât restul
prin sistemul de asistenţă maternală,
been through the foster care system,
pentru că părea mare şi înfricoşător.
because he looked big and scary.
Darren, hold the baby.
Darren, să ţină în braţe copilul.
asking questions about parenthood.
să pună întrebări despre a fi părinte.
do you think you can be a good father?"
poți fi un tată bun?”
people out of the valley.
they have an intensity to them.
au o motivație puternică.
called "Naturalist," about his childhood.
numită „Naturalist”, despre copilăria sa.
his parents were divorcing.
părinţii lui divorţau.
to Paradise Beach in North Florida.
în Florida de Nord.
oceanul până atunci.
It existed beyond my imagination."
Nu mi-aș fi imaginat că există așa ceva.”
float beneath his feet.
înotând sub picioarele lui.
in the awe and wonder.
se născuse din uimire și curiozitate.
as you do as an adult.
decât le vezi când eşti adult.
is that moral intensity,
e acea motivație morală,
over to something
acestor „ţesători”,
at twice the size as normal people.
de două ori decât oamenii normali.
when we're shooting for our career,
când ţintim pentru cariera noastră,
it's the expansion of self.
your team wins the Super Bowl,
echipa ta câştigă Super Bowl-ul,
it's the dissolving of self.
e dizolvarea sinelui.
disappears between a mother and her child,
dispare dintre mamă şi copilul ei,
feels just free in nature.
se simte liber în natură.
in your work or a cause,
de muncă sau de o cauză,
to aim for than happiness.
bun de ţintit decât fericirea
of people when they lose it.
despre oameni care o pierd.
e de la Zadie Smith.
de noapte din Londra
wondering where her handbag was.
întrebându-se unde îi era poşeta.
reached across a sea of bodies
a străbătut o mare de trupuri
over and over, 'Are you feeling it?'
iarăşi şi iarăşi: «Îți place?»
I was terrified that I might die,
mi-era frică că am să mor,
overwhelmed with delight
copleşită de încântarea
should happen to be playing
in the history of the world
into 'Teen Spirit.'
trecerea la «Teen Spirit».
the top of my head blew away,
iar mintea mi s-a spulberat,
we gave ourselves up to joy."
ne-am predat bucuriei.”
is two different life mindsets.
două mentalităţi de viaţă diferite.
individual happiness and career success.
individuală şi despre succesul în carieră.
nu am nimic împotriva ei.
I have nothing against it.
the other mindset to balance it.
pentru a găsi echilibrul.
about ourselves as a people,
faith in our future,
we don't treat each other as well.
and environmental change.
şi de o schimbare a mediului.
and relational revolution.
şi de revoluţie culturală şi relaţională.
of a recovered society.
unei societăţi recuperate.
have found that language.
au găsit acel limbaj.
is that society changes
e că societatea se schimbă
find a better way to live,
găsesc un mod mai bun de a trăi,
a better way to live.
un mod mai bun de a trăi.
all around the country.
we're a weaver."
„Sunt un ţesător, suntem ţesători.”
the social unity gets repaired.
unitatea socială se va repara.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
David Brooks - Op-ed columnistWriter and thinker David Brooks has covered business, crime and politics over a long career in journalism.
Why you should listen
David Brooks became an Op-Ed columnist for The New York Times in September 2003. He is currently a commentator on "The PBS Newshour," NPR’s "All Things Considered" and NBC's "Meet the Press."
He is the author of Bobos in Paradise and The Social Animal. In April 2015, he released with his fourth book, The Road to Character, which was a #1 New York Times bestseller.
Brooks also teaches at Yale University, and is a member of the American Academy of Arts & Sciences.
Born on August 11, 1961 in Toronto, Canada, Brooks graduated a bachelor of history from the University of Chicago in 1983. He became a police reporter for the City News Bureau, a wire service owned jointly by the Chicago Tribune and Sun-Times.
He worked at The Washington Times and then The Wall Street Journal for nine years. His last post at the Journal was as Op-ed Editor. Prior to that, he was posted in Brussels, covering Russia, the Middle East, South Africa and European affairs. His first post at the Journal was as editor of the book review section, and he filled in as the Journal's movie critic.
He also served as a senior editor at The Weekly Standard for 9 years, as well as contributing editor for The Atlantic and Newsweek.
David Brooks | Speaker | TED.com