Eldra Jackson: How I unlearned dangerous lessons about masculinity
Eldra Jackson: Jinsi ya kuvunja mzunguko wa uwanaume wa sumu
Eldra Jackson III works daily to connect to his most authentic self -- and his calling is to support others in doing the same. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
something to cry about.
kitu cha kulilia.
to a disease in our society,
ugonjwa ndani ya jamii yetu,
to be known as "toxic masculinity."
kujulikana kama "sumu ya uwanaume."
of a life sentence in prison
ya kifungo cha maisha gerezani
and attempted murder.
na jaribio la mauaji.
that there's a solution for this epidemic.
kuwa kuna suluhisho la hili janga.
because I was a part of human trials.
nilikua kwenye majaribio ya binadamu.
to look at your belief system
kuangalia mfumo wa imani yako
negatively impact not just yourself,
yana athari za hasi sio tu kwako,
to be vulnerable with people
kukabiliwa na watu
but hold you accountable.
bali watakufanya uwajibike.
that in order to share this,
kua ili niwashirikishe hili,
of healing is on the horizon,
ya uponyaji inawadia,
to share my story in full.
kushirikisha hadithi kikamilifu.
I was born into the ideal family dynamic:
nilizaliwa kwenye familia ya hali bora:
Eldra wa tatu.
who earned a Purple Heart
mwenye Moyo wa Zambarau
marry, and begin his own brood.
kuoa, na kuanzisha kizazi chake.
in the California prison system?
kwenye gereza la California?
that big boys don't cry,
kua wavulana wakubwa hawalii,
confidently other than anger,
kwa ujasiri zaidi ya hasira,
the performance on the field,
utendaji uwanjani,
about the rules off it.
juu ya kanuni zake.
any one specific ingredient
sehemu moja maalumu
Sacramento, California miaka ya 1980.
in Sacramento, California in the 1980s,
I identified as having respect:
niliyoyatambua kua na heshima:
his mom's car for a joyride and wreck it.
mama yake na kuliendesha na kuliharibu.
the cost of a totaled vehicle,
gharama za gari lililoharibika,
of household chores and no sports.
ya kazi za nyumbani na bila michezo.
to transition from athlete to gangster
kubadilika kutoka mwanamichezo kuwa jambazi
for me to be well-suited
kwa mimi kufaa sana
as in a position of power.
kwenye sehemu ya nguvu.
it did so in my mind.
kweye akili yangu.
on the fast track to prison life.
kwenye njia ya haraka ya maisha gerezani.
I continued my history
niliendelea na historia yangu
was the place that I would die.
ambayo ningeweza kufa.
in solitary confinement
kwenye kifungo cha upweke
nearly 30 times.
karibia mara 30.
how I lived or if I died.
jinsi nilivyoishi au kama ningekufa.
that happened in my life to that point
kwa hatua hiyo ya maisha yangu
New Folsom.
to join a group called Inside Circle.
kikundi kiitwacho Duara la Ndani.
referred to around the yard
linalojulikana maeneno ya uga
the vision of a man named Patrick Nolan,
ndoto ya mtu mmoja aitwae Patrick Nolan,
of being sick and tired
na kuchoka
or Southern California,
Kusini mwa California,
in the wrong direction on a windy day.
muelekeo mbaya siku yenye upepo.
walking down the street,
akitembea mtaani,
I'll just go along with the crowd.
nitafuata tu mkumbo.
cha kubadilisha.
and we question these things.
na kuuliza haya mambo.
I'm not thinking,
sifikirii,
that my life took a turn.
ambapo maisha yangu yaligeuka.
who were seeking truth.
waliokuwa wakitafuta ukweli.
I had manufactured to hide behind.
nilizotengeneza kujifichia.
that the jig was up.
ambapo ngoma ilipoisha.
as I believed I was,
nilikua mkali,
who were seeking to serve and support
wanaume waliotaka kuhudumia na kusaidia
that I graduated to a place within
nilipohitimu kwenye sehemu ya ndani
at the hands of a babysitter a secret.
kwenye mikono ya yaya kama siri.
of my younger sister being harmed.
mdogo wangu wa kike kuumizwa.
to keep her safe.
kumweka salama.
for a long career of hurting others,
kazi ndefu ya kuumiza wengine
where someone was going to get hurt,
ambapo mtu angeenda kuumia,
that loving put me in harm's way.
kupenda kuliniweka kwenye njia ya madhara.
about another person made me weak.
mtu mwingine kulinifanya niwe dhaifu.
na nguvu.
a shaky sense of self
hisia binafsi zisizo imara
ya heshima.
resembles sitting in a fire.
kunafanana na kukaa kwenye moto.
were invited into the open
zilikaribishwa kwenye uwazi
is who I wanted to be in life.
nilivyotaka kuwa maishani.
that not only festered
ambazo hazikuweka tu jipu
unsafe space for others.
sehemu isiyo salama kwa wengine.
of old, diseased ways of thinking,
zamani, zenye ugonjwa wa kufikiri,
to the fact of the power of the work.
wa ukweli wa nguvu ya hiyo kazi.
of former law-enforcement officials
la maafisa wa utekelezaji sheria wa zamani
my current threat level to society.
kiwango changu cha tishio kwenye jamii.
since I was 14 years old
tangu nilivyokuwa miaka 14
usimamizi wa nchi
woman named Holly,
aitwae Holly,
emotions in a safe way.
hisia kwa njia salama.
not have all the answers.
nisipokua na majibu yote.
some machismo caricature,
namna ya ugumu wa kibonzo.
usually defined as weaknesses
zinazofafanuliwa kama udhaifu
not just on myself,
sio tu kwangu mwenyewe,
in my community.
kwenye jamii yangu.
to victimize others as well as themselves.
kuathiri wengine pamoja na wenyewe.
of how they want to show up in the world
wanataka kutokea kwenye dunia
to show up on their behalf.
kutokea kwa niaba yao.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Eldra Jackson III - EducatorEldra Jackson III works daily to connect to his most authentic self -- and his calling is to support others in doing the same.
Why you should listen
Eldra Jackson III is a spiritual warrior who lives a passion of "saving lives one circle at a time." After living most of his life devoid of emotions and coming face-to-face with the reality of dying behind bars, he came to a point of self-inquiry, seeking answers as to how his life had spiraled into a mass of destruction set upon self and others. From this point, the space was made to save his life.
Today, Jackson works to bring his spiritual medicine into the world while simultaneously guiding others to tap into their own internal salve and help identify wounds. Through his intensive awareness work, he is on a mission to show the world what's possible as each person does their own internal examination to begin the path towards emotional and psychic health. Learn more about him in the documentary The Work.
Eldra Jackson III | Speaker | TED.com