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Srikumar Rao: Plug into your hard-wired happiness
斯瑞库马 拉奥: 唤醒你的幸福基因
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斯瑞库马 拉奥（Srikumar Rao）说 ，尽管我们在追求幸福，却终其一生在学习如何不幸福。在2009《工作现场》研讨会上，他教我们如何摆脱“如果... 才会幸福”的心理模型，回归于我们与生具来的幸福。
Srikumar Rao - Happiness teacher
Executive, educator, writer and life coach Srikumar S. Rao asks, "Are you ready to succeed?" -- and in his famous course "Creativity and Personal Mastery," he teaches his students how to do so. Full bio
Executive, educator, writer and life coach Srikumar S. Rao asks, "Are you ready to succeed?" -- and in his famous course "Creativity and Personal Mastery," he teaches his students how to do so. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:13
I have a vision for each one of you,
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斯瑞库马 拉奥：
我对大家都有这样一个愿景：
我对大家都有这样一个愿景：
00:16
and the vision I have for you
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我希望，
00:18
is that when you wake up in the morning,
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当清晨你醒来的时候，
00:20
your blood is singing at the thought
of being who you are
of being who you are
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一想到你是谁，你要做什么，
00:24
and doing what you do;
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你就会热血沸腾；
00:26
that as you go through the day,
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这一天中，
00:27
you can literally sink
to your knees in gratitude
to your knees in gratitude
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你时刻愿意跪下感恩
00:31
at the tremendous good fortune
that's been bestowed on you;
that's been bestowed on you;
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上天赐予你的无限幸福；
00:35
that as you go through the day,
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这一天中，
00:37
you become radiantly alive several times.
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你时刻感到自己
容光焕发， 激情四射。
容光焕发， 激情四射。
00:43
And if your life isn't like that,
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如果你现在的生活不是如此，
00:47
I'd like to humbly suggest
that you're wasting your life.
that you're wasting your life.
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请容我指出，
你正在浪费你的生命。
你正在浪费你的生命。
00:50
A life is too short to be wasted.
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人生很短，切莫浪费光阴。
00:53
So what I propose to do
in the next 17 minutes --
in the next 17 minutes --
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所以在接下来的17分钟内，
00:57
I've used up one minute already --
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我已经讲了一分钟了，
00:59
is to give you a set of powerful tools
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我将提供一些能够帮助你
01:02
which can get you started on being there.
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对走向那个愿景有益的建议。
01:06
Is that of interest to you?
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大家有兴趣听吗？
01:07
Audience: Yes.
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听众：有。
01:09
Srikumar Rao: OK.
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斯瑞库马： 好的。
01:10
This is a conference on happiness,
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这是一个关于幸福的研讨会，
01:12
but even if it wasn't
a conference on happiness,
a conference on happiness,
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但是即便不是关于幸福，
01:14
would it be right if I said
that in some way, shape, fashion or form,
that in some way, shape, fashion or form,
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如果我说， 在某种程度、
某种形式上，
某种形式上，
01:19
you're devoting your entire life
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你终其一生，
都是为了幸福
都是为了幸福
01:22
to being happy?
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对吗？
01:23
Everything you do -- your job, family,
children, relationships, whatever --
children, relationships, whatever --
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所有你所做的事情，你的工作，
家庭，子女，人际等等，
家庭，子女，人际等等，
01:28
is a quest for happiness.
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都是在追求幸福，
01:30
Correct?
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对吗？
01:31
I'd like you to think about the following:
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那么我想请你思考这个问题：
01:35
What do you have to get
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你需要拥有什么
01:38
in order to be happy?
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才能变得幸福呢？
01:41
We're just going to spend
a minute on this.
a minute on this.
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我们在这花一分钟思考一下。
01:43
What do you have to get
in order to be happy?
in order to be happy?
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你到底需要什么才会幸福？
01:48
Anybody, quick?
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很简单的回答一下，有人吗？
01:50
When I conduct this experiment,
a bunch of stuff comes up:
a bunch of stuff comes up:
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当我进行这个实验的时候，
经常出现很多答案：
经常出现很多答案：
01:53
vast wealth, trophy spouse, good health,
lots of travel, time, etc, etc, etc.
lots of travel, time, etc, etc, etc.
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万贯家财，完美配偶，健康体格，
频繁出游，许多时间，等等等等。
频繁出游，许多时间，等等等等。
02:00
Right now, if you were to think about it,
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那么现在，如果你要回答这个问题，
02:02
you probably have a list
of, "Here's what I need to get
of, "Here's what I need to get
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你可能也会有这样一个清单，
02:05
in order to be happy."
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”拥有了...就会幸福“的清单。
02:08
I would like you to consider this:
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我想请你想一想，
02:10
anything that you can get --
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你能得到的任何东西，
02:13
let me repeat that -- anything
you can get, you can un-get.
you can get, you can un-get.
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让我重复一遍，你能得到的任何东西，
你也都可能会失去，
你也都可能会失去，
02:16
Is that correct?
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对吗？
02:17
So, vast wealth can make you happy.
Vast wealth can disappear tomorrow.
Vast wealth can disappear tomorrow.
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万贯家财可以让你幸福，
万贯家财也可能一夜尽失，
万贯家财也可能一夜尽失，
02:21
A number of people in the financial sector
have discovered this already.
have discovered this already.
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金融业的人们早就体会到了这一点。
02:26
So whatever you get
that can make you happy
that can make you happy
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所以，那些可以让你幸福的东西，
02:30
can go away.
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也可能会离你而去。
02:31
Where does that leave you?
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而你会剩下什么？
02:33
Not a very nice place, right?
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一个并不乐观的处境，对吧？
02:35
I have a different proposition
to suggest to you.
to suggest to you.
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我想提供你一种不同的观点。
02:38
What I have to suggest to you
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这个观点就是
02:39
is that there is nothing
that you have to get, do or be
that you have to get, do or be
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任何你想得到的东西，
02:44
in order to be happy.
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都不会让你幸福。
02:46
Let me repeat that:
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让我重复一遍：
02:47
there is nothing that you have to get,
do or be in order to be happy.
do or be in order to be happy.
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任何你想得到的东西
都不会让你幸福。
都不会让你幸福。
02:51
In fact, happiness is your innate nature.
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事实上， 幸福是你的本性。
02:54
It is hardwired into you.
It is part of your DNA.
It is part of your DNA.
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幸福与生具来，是你DNA的一部分。
02:59
You cannot not be happy.
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你不可能不会幸福。
03:02
Now, all of you are very polite,
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现在，你们都表现的都很有礼貌，
03:03
and in some of the other forums
I speak in, such as top business schools,
I speak in, such as top business schools,
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在其他我参与过的研讨会上，
比如在一些顶尖的商学院，
比如在一些顶尖的商学院，
03:08
they're not so polite.
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他们就没有那么礼貌。
03:09
And invariably, somebody articulates
what many of you are thinking,
what many of you are thinking,
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每一次，都会有人问我一个
你们每个人都想问的问题：
你们每个人都想问的问题：
03:13
which is: "If happiness
is my innate nature,
is my innate nature,
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“如果幸福是与生具来的，
03:17
how come I am not experiencing it?
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那麽为何我感受不到？
03:19
How come I am experiencing my life sucks?"
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为什么我反而觉得
我的生活很糟糕呢？
我的生活很糟糕呢？
03:22
(Laughter)
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03:24
And the answer to that
is actually very simple.
is actually very simple.
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要回答这个问题其实很简单：
03:28
You have spent your entire life
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因为你这一生都在花时间
03:32
learning to be unhappy.
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学习怎么不幸福。
03:36
Let me repeat that: you have spent
your entire life learning to be unhappy.
your entire life learning to be unhappy.
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我再重述一下：你一辈子的时间
都花在了学习怎样不幸福。
都花在了学习怎样不幸福。
03:42
And the way we learn to be unhappy
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我们学习如何不幸福的方式
03:45
is by buying into
a particular mental model.
a particular mental model.
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是因为相信了一个
特定的心理模型。
特定的心理模型。
03:48
A mental model is a notion we have
that this is the way the world works.
that this is the way the world works.
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而这个心理模型就是
我们自己认为，世界运转的方式。
我们自己认为，世界运转的方式。
03:51
All of us have mental models,
we've got dozens of mental models.
we've got dozens of mental models.
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我们所有人都有心理模型，
而且有很多种模型。
而且有很多种模型。
03:54
We've got mental models
on how to find a job,
on how to find a job,
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我们的模型有：
如何找工作，
如何找工作，
03:57
how to get ahead at work,
how to pick a restaurant to eat at,
how to pick a restaurant to eat at,
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如何干好工作，
挑一个什么样的餐厅吃饭，
挑一个什么样的餐厅吃饭，
04:00
how to have a movie
to go to ... dozens of them.
to go to ... dozens of them.
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看一个什么样的电影，等等。
04:03
The problem isn't
that we have mental models.
that we have mental models.
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问题不是我们有
这些心理模型，
这些心理模型，
04:05
The problem is that we don't know
that we have mental models.
that we have mental models.
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而是我们不知道
我们有这些模型。
我们有这些模型。
04:08
We think this is the way the world works.
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我们认为这是
世界运作的方式，
世界运作的方式，
而当我们越用这个模型思考的时候，
04:10
And the more we invest in a mental model,
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04:12
the more it appears that this, in fact,
is the way the world works.
is the way the world works.
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我们越发得觉得世界就是
这样在运作的。
这样在运作的。
04:16
But it isn't: it's just a mental model,
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但是并非如此，
这只不过是一个心理模型而已，
这只不过是一个心理模型而已，
04:18
and the mental model we have
that we buy into so strongly
that we buy into so strongly
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我们之所以能这么强烈地
相信我们所认知的模型，
相信我们所认知的模型，
04:22
is that we have to get something
so we can do something
so we can do something
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是因为我们相信，我们必须有所得，
才能有所作为，
才能有所作为，
04:26
so we can be something.
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有所成就。
04:28
Like, we have to get a great deal of money
so we can travel to exotic places
so we can travel to exotic places
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比如我们要花很多的钱
来旅游度假，
来旅游度假，
04:31
so we can be happy.
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然后就会幸福。
我们必须恋爱，
才能有良好的性生活，
才能有良好的性生活，
04:34
We have to be in a relationship
so we can have great sex
so we can have great sex
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然后我们才能幸福。
04:37
so we can be happy.
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04:39
All of this is a variation
of the if-then model.
of the if-then model.
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所有这些都是“如果， 然后”，
这个模型的变体。
这个模型的变体。
04:44
And the if-then model is:
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这个“如果，然后”模型就是
04:46
if this happens,
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如果发生这样一件事，
04:48
then we will be happy.
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然后
我们就会幸福。
04:52
If I were to get a better job,
if I were to get more money,
if I were to get more money,
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如果我们有一个更好的工作，
如果我们有更多的钱，
如果我们有更多的钱，
04:55
if my boss would have a heart attack,
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如果我的老板心脏病突发，
04:57
if only I was married,
if only my wife would leave me --
if only my wife would leave me --
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如果我结婚了，
如果我老婆能离开我，
如果我老婆能离开我，
05:03
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
05:04
if only I had children,
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如果我有孩子，
05:06
if my children would grow up
and go to college ...
and go to college ...
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如果我的孩子都已经
长大去了大学。
长大去了大学。
05:09
It doesn't matter what it is.
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不论是什么，
05:11
The whole notion is if this happens,
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整个模型的概念是：
如果这个发生了，
如果这个发生了，
05:14
then I will be happy.
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然后我才能会幸福。
05:17
And right now, the only thing
that's different
that's different
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现在， 你与身边听众之间，
05:20
between the persons in this audience
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唯一不同的地方就是，
05:23
is what is the particular "if"
that you are focusing on?
that you are focusing on?
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你们所关注的这个
特定的“如果”是不一样的。
特定的“如果”是不一样的。
05:26
And the only thing that's different
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你与十年前的你之间
05:28
between you now
and where you were 10 years ago
and where you were 10 years ago
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唯一不一样的地方也只是
05:31
is what is the particular "if"
that you were focusing on?
that you were focusing on?
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你所关注的这个
特定的“如果”不同而已。
特定的“如果”不同而已。
05:34
Think about your life 10 years ago.
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回想10年前你的生活，
05:37
Spend a minute doing that.
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花一分钟回想一下，
05:40
Ten years ago, if you remember clearly,
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10年前，你如果还记得，
05:42
there were certain things you wanted.
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肯定有一些东西你当时非常想得到，
05:43
Is that correct?
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对吗？
05:45
Odds are pretty good
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很大概率上，
05:47
that many of those things you wanted
10 years ago you now have.
10 years ago you now have.
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10年前你想有的很多东西，
你现在都有了，
你现在都有了，
05:50
Is that correct?
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对吗？
05:52
Where has that left you?
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那现在呢？
像还在原地踏步，对吗？
05:56
In exactly the same place, right?
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05:59
What we don't realize
is the model itself is flawed.
is the model itself is flawed.
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我们没有意识到的是，
这个心理模型本身是有缺陷的。
这个心理模型本身是有缺陷的。
06:03
The if-then model --
"If this happens I will be happy" --
"If this happens I will be happy" --
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这个 “如果怎样，就会幸福”的模型
06:06
the model itself is flawed.
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本身就有缺陷。
06:09
But instead of recognizing
that it is the model itself that's flawed,
that it is the model itself that's flawed,
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但是我们没能意识到
这个模型有问题，
这个模型有问题，
06:13
what we do is spend
enormous amounts of time
enormous amounts of time
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反而花了很多时间
06:17
changing the "if."
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来改变这个“如果”。
06:19
"Oh, well, I thought if I became
CEO it would help,
CEO it would help,
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哦，我觉得如果我
变成了CEO就会幸福，
变成了CEO就会幸福，
06:22
but now I realize it's not
that I want to become a CEO.
that I want to become a CEO.
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但是我发现
我并不是想当CEO，
我并不是想当CEO，
06:25
I want to become the billionaire CEO,
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我想当亿万财富CEO，
06:28
and then I will be happy."
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然后我就会幸福。
06:30
You've got your own variation on that.
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你们会有自己不同的衡量标准。
06:32
But it's the model itself that's flawed,
not what you put on the "if" side
not what you put on the "if" side
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然而问题本质是
这个模型有缺陷，
这个模型有缺陷，
而不是你定义的那个“如果”。
06:37
of the equation.
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06:38
I can demonstrate that to you.
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我可以给大家举例说明。
06:40
Can any of you recall a time
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你们能回想一下，
06:42
when you were confronted with a scene
of such spectacular beauty
of such spectacular beauty
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当你看到某个极其美丽的场景，
06:47
that it took you outside of yourself
into a place of great serenity?
into a place of great serenity?
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让你感到心旷神怡，无比平静。
06:52
Maybe a rainbow, a mountain range,
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或许是一道彩虹，一片山峦，
06:54
a valley, the sea.
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一个山谷，一片海洋。
06:56
And if you remember that --
raise your hands if you could.
raise your hands if you could.
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如果你回想起了这一刻，请举手。
06:59
Virtually all of you could, right?
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几乎每个人都有过，对吧？
07:01
Have you ever wondered why that happened?
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你曾想过为什么会有这样的感受吗？
07:04
The reason that happened is that somehow,
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原因就是在某种方式、
07:08
for some reason,
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某个原因，
07:10
at that instant,
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某一刻，
07:13
you accepted the universe
exactly as it was.
exactly as it was.
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你接受了宇宙万物的原貌。
07:18
You didn't say,
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你不会说，
07:19
"That's a beautiful rainbow,
but it's kind of off to the left,
but it's kind of off to the left,
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“那是一道漂亮的彩虹，
但是左边有点偏。
但是左边有点偏。
07:22
and if I could move it
200 yards to the right,
200 yards to the right,
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如果我能把它往右移200码，
07:25
it would be ever so much more beautiful."
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它就会更漂亮。“
07:27
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
07:29
You didn't say,
"That's a beautiful valley,
"That's a beautiful valley,
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你不会说， “这是一个很美丽河谷，
07:31
but the tree in the foreground
has too many crooked branches.
has too many crooked branches.
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但是前边的树有太多树枝了。
07:34
So if you gave me
a chainsaw and 20 minutes,
a chainsaw and 20 minutes,
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如果你让我用一个电锯修整20分钟，
07:36
I'd make it ever so much better."
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我会把它修的更漂亮。
07:39
Oh no, the rainbow off-center
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当然不是这样，
有点偏的彩虹
有点偏的彩虹
07:40
was just fine.
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其实刚刚好，
07:41
The tree with its crooked branches
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有很多支叉的树
07:43
was just fine.
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也是刚刚好。
07:44
And the moment you accepted
the universe just as it was,
the universe just as it was,
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在你接受了万物原貌的那一刻，
07:49
your habitual-wanting self dropped away,
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你习惯性需求的自我
就会消失了，
就会消失了，
07:53
and the happiness which is
your innate nature surfaced,
your innate nature surfaced,
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然后你体内与生具来的
幸福感就会出现了，
幸福感就会出现了，
07:56
and you felt it.
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而且你能感受幸福的存在。
07:57
And I know you felt it because now,
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我明白你现在的感受，
因为现在，
因为现在，
08:00
even now after all those years,
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尽管过了很多年，
08:02
you can still remember it.
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你还是会记得。
08:06
The problem is that your life right now,
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现在你人生的问题是，
08:09
with all of the problems that you have --
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还有其他你所有的问题，
08:11
more precisely, all of the problems
that you think you have --
that you think you have --
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更精确地说，
你认为你所有的问题，
你认为你所有的问题，
08:16
is equally perfect.
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都一样完美。
08:19
But you do not accept it.
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但是你没有接受它。
08:21
In fact, you're spending all your time
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事实上，你在花所有的时间
08:24
striving with might and main
to make it different.
to make it different.
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用所有的方法试图改变它。
08:28
You are not accepting it.
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你没法接受它。
08:31
And when you're not accepting it,
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当你没办法接受事实的时候，
08:33
you're buying into the if-then model:
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你就自然而然的陷入
“如果 然后”的心理模型：
“如果 然后”的心理模型：
08:35
if this happens, then I will be happy.
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如果这个发生，
然后我就会幸福。
然后我就会幸福。
08:38
And it's the model itself that is flawed.
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这个模型本身是有缺陷的。
08:43
So let me show you how
you can get out of that,
you can get out of that,
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让我现在来告诉你
怎么摆脱这个模型，
怎么摆脱这个模型，
08:45
or at least you can begin the steps
towards getting out of that.
towards getting out of that.
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或者至少能让你
开始朝这个方向前进。
开始朝这个方向前进。
08:50
I'd like to share with you that action.
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我想和你们分享这个行动，
08:52
We all live our lives because we want
to achieve something, correct?
to achieve something, correct?
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我们一生都想取得
某种成就， 是吗？
某种成就， 是吗？
08:56
You know, we are here
and we want to have something.
and we want to have something.
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你知道， 我们想在
世上干一番事业。
世上干一番事业。
08:58
Alex wants to have
a successful conference.
a successful conference.
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阿历克斯想举办
一个成功的大会。
一个成功的大会。
09:01
You know, many of you want to have
great programs for your companies
great programs for your companies
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你们很多人都想要为公司
09:05
that are very successful.
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完成一些宏图伟业。
09:06
You want to progress, have more money,
all of that, is that correct?
all of that, is that correct?
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你想要进步，更多的钱，
所有这些， 对吗？
所有这些， 对吗？
09:13
Each of those is an outcome;
you would like something to happen.
you would like something to happen.
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每一个如果都是一个结果；
你想要发生的结果。
你想要发生的结果。
09:17
Now, I'd like you to think
about the following:
about the following:
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现在我想请你考虑，
09:20
actions are within your control,
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你可以控制行为，
09:22
not entirely, but to a large extent.
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虽不是所有，
但也很大程度上是。
但也很大程度上是。
09:24
The outcome is completely
out of your control.
out of your control.
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然而结果是完全不受控制。
09:27
OK?
191
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好吗？
09:28
Actions are within your control.
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你可以控制行为。
09:30
The outcome is completely
outside your control.
outside your control.
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但是完全控制不了结果。
09:32
Have any of you recognized
that when you have a goal
that when you have a goal
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你们有意识到当你有一个目标，
09:35
and you start to work towards it,
195
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2014
然后你朝着目标努力工作，
09:37
some of the time
you don't achieve your goal,
you don't achieve your goal,
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2298
有些时候你不会达成目标，
09:39
and some of the time what you get
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1723
有时你反而还会得到
09:41
is the exact opposite of what you wanted?
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2351
和预期截然不同的结果。
09:43
Has that happened to any of you?
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1793
你们身上是不是都发生过这种事？
09:46
Like there was a friend of mine
who said, "Gee, you know,
who said, "Gee, you know,
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好像我的一个朋友说，
“ 天呐，你知道吗，
“ 天呐，你知道吗，
09:49
I have not been paying
a lot of attention to my wife,
a lot of attention to my wife,
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我已经很久没有
关心过我的妻子了，
关心过我的妻子了，
09:53
and this has to change."
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1184
情况必须要有所改变。”
09:54
So the next time
we went on a business trip,
we went on a business trip,
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2071
所以在下次我们一起出差的时候，
09:56
he bought a very expensive dress for her.
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2521
他给妻子买了一条昂贵的裙子。
09:59
And this was his way of showing,
you know, I care for you,
you know, I care for you,
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2966
这是他表达的方式，
你看，我在乎你，
你看，我在乎你，
10:02
and nice things would happen.
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1937
他以为会有好事发生。
10:04
And when he presented the gift
to his wife, her immediate reaction was,
to his wife, her immediate reaction was,
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4023
当他回家给她妻子礼物的时候，
她第一反应却是：
她第一反应却是：
10:09
"After 20 years of marriage,
you don't know my size?"
you don't know my size?"
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“我们结婚20多年了，
你还不知道我的尺码？”
你还不知道我的尺码？”
10:12
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
10:14
"And furthermore, don't you know
I never wear this kind of thing?"
I never wear this kind of thing?"
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4715
“还有，你不知道我从来
都不穿这种裙子吗？”
都不穿这种裙子吗？”
10:19
And the next thing you know,
he had a full-blown marital spat.
he had a full-blown marital spat.
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3645
然后显而易见，
他和他老婆大吵一架。
他和他老婆大吵一架。
10:23
Has that happened to any of you?
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你们有类似经历吗？
10:24
You've taken action
for a particular outcome
for a particular outcome
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2793
你用尽心思想达成一件事，
10:27
and the outcome you got
was the exact opposite
was the exact opposite
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2176
结果却和你想要的
恰恰相反。
10:29
of what you wanted?
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1484
10:31
Happens all the time.
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1384
这经常发生。
10:33
Well, we live in a world
where what we think of,
where what we think of,
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4430
我们生活的世界，
10:37
what we invest in,
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1422
所想所投入的，
10:39
is the outcome.
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都是结果。
10:40
We define our life in the following way:
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1945
我们经常这样定义我们的生活：
10:42
here I am, here is where I want to go,
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我现在在这儿，我想去那儿，
10:44
these are the steps I have to take
in order to get from where I am
in order to get from where I am
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3119
我需要做这些事情
我才能去想去的地方，
10:48
to where I want to go,
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1182
10:49
and if I succeed, life is wonderful.
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2525
如果我们成功了，
生活就会很棒。
生活就会很棒。
10:52
And if I don't, then I have failed,
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4027
如果没成功，
说明我是个失败者，
说明我是个失败者，
10:56
life is no good, life sucks.
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2481
生活就不好了，就很糟糕。
11:00
True? False?
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对吧？
11:02
That is how we live.
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1548
这是我们的生活方式。
11:03
We invest in the outcome,
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2171
我们寄希望于结果，
11:05
and as I've just pointed out,
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1900
正如我之前指出的，
11:07
the outcome is frequently different
from what we would like,
from what we would like,
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3326
结果往往和期望不同，
11:11
and sometimes the diametric opposite
of what we would like.
of what we would like.
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3355
而且有时候背道而驰。
11:14
You invest in the outcome
and you are guaranteed to have
and you are guaranteed to have
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4155
如果你寄希望于结果，
那么你一定
那么你一定
11:18
more than your share of frustration, angst
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2130
会十分沮丧，焦虑，
11:20
and all the rest of the stuff
that makes life suck.
that makes life suck.
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2620
而且其他东西也会让生活变的糟糕。
11:24
There is an alternative.
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1254
其实我们还有另一个选择，
11:26
And the alternative is that you do not
invest in the outcome,
invest in the outcome,
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3837
就是不要太过关注于结果，
11:29
you invest in the process.
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2680
要投入过程。
11:33
And the best way to describe that
is a quote by John Wooden.
is a quote by John Wooden.
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4391
约翰伍德的话最能形容这个方法。
11:37
I don't know how many of you
are familiar with John Wooden.
are familiar with John Wooden.
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我不知道你们当中
多少人熟悉约翰伍德。
多少人熟悉约翰伍德。
11:40
He's very well-known in the United States
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2028
他在美国很出名，
11:42
and certainly among basketball fans.
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2038
尤其是在篮球迷中。
11:45
He's the only person ever to make
the basketball Hall of Fame
the basketball Hall of Fame
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3854
他是唯一一个
以运动员和教练双重身份
以运动员和教练双重身份
11:49
both as a player and as a coach.
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2136
入选篮球名人堂的人。
11:51
And what he told his entering team --
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699804
1970
他告诉他的球队，
11:53
he led UCLA to an unprecedented number
of victories and finals in the NCAA --
of victories and finals in the NCAA --
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6074
他领导UCLA多次打入NCAA决赛
并获得了史无前例的胜利，
并获得了史无前例的胜利，
11:59
and what he used to tell any new team
is he never spoke about winning.
is he never spoke about winning.
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5433
他从未对新赛队提及过要赢取比赛。
12:06
He always said, "When it's over
and you look in the mirror,
and you look in the mirror,
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4287
他总是说，“当比赛结束，
看着镜子里的自己，扪心自问，
看着镜子里的自己，扪心自问，
12:10
did you do the best
that you were capable of?
that you were capable of?
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2705
你竭尽全力了吗？
12:13
And if you did the best
that you were capable of,
that you were capable of,
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2792
如果你全力以赴了，
12:16
the score doesn't matter.
251
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1498
比分就不重要了。
12:18
But I would suspect that if you did
the best that you were capable of,
the best that you were capable of,
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3672
但是我认为，
当你全力以赴之后，
当你全力以赴之后，
12:22
you will find the score to your liking."
253
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2172
你会发现，分数通常
也会让你很满意。”
也会让你很满意。”
12:26
That is investing in a process.
254
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2897
这就是在投入过程，
12:29
What we do is the exact opposite.
255
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2260
而我们做的恰恰相反。
12:31
We invest in the outcome.
256
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1761
我们只在关注结果。
12:33
This is what I want -- oh,
I want it so desperately,
I want it so desperately,
257
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2748
哦，这就是我想要的，
非常想得到，
非常想得到，
12:36
because if I get it I will be happy.
258
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2402
因为如果我得到了，
我就会幸福。
我就会幸福。
12:38
And you try with might and main,
to do whatever you can,
to do whatever you can,
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3337
你费尽心思，
绞尽脑汁，
绞尽脑汁，
12:42
but you are always focusing
on, "This is the outcome."
on, "This is the outcome."
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4016
然而总是在关注结果。
12:46
Now, focusing on the outcome is fine.
261
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2087
关注结果未尝不可，
12:48
It gives you direction.
262
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1262
它可以为你指明方向。
12:50
Investing in the outcome means
263
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2072
但是只投入结果意味着
12:52
that you make the achievement
of a particular outcome
of a particular outcome
264
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4945
你用特定的结果来衡量
12:57
dependent for your well-being.
265
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2770
是否幸福。
12:59
And that is a surefire recipe for failure.
266
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2659
这个方法必然失败。
13:03
What you can do is something else.
267
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2094
你能做的绝不仅如此。
13:05
You can invest in the process.
268
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3047
你可以关注过程。
13:09
That is, once you have determined,
here is where I am,
here is where I am,
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2865
也就是说，当你下定决心，
我现在在这儿，
我现在在这儿，
13:12
here is where I want to be,
and that's fine,
and that's fine,
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2300
我要去那儿，
13:15
you focus on the outcome only
to the extent that it gives you direction,
to the extent that it gives you direction,
271
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3984
你关注结果的程度
能够给你方向就好，
能够给你方向就好，
13:19
and then you invest yourself
completely in the process.
completely in the process.
272
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3316
然后全身心的投入过程中。
13:22
You say, here are the steps
you want to take,
you want to take,
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2127
你可以说，这些是
你想要採取的步骤，
你想要採取的步骤，
13:24
and you put everything into it.
274
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1959
然后全身心的投入一切。
13:26
And if you succeed, wonderful.
275
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2695
如果你成功了，
那太棒了。
那太棒了。
13:30
And if you don't succeed,
276
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2168
如果没能成功，
13:32
still wonderful,
277
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1944
依然很棒，
13:36
because now you have a new starting point,
and from that new starting point,
and from that new starting point,
278
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3662
因为现在你有了一个新起点，
从这个新起点，
从这个新起点，
13:39
you select another outcome and keep going.
279
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2261
你可以选择一个新方向
继续前进。
继续前进。
13:42
And when you do that, you will find
that every day is a blast.
that every day is a blast.
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3436
当你这么做以后，
你会发现每天都活力四射。
你会发现每天都活力四射。
13:46
Let me give you an example.
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1321
让我来举个例子。
13:48
And if you have children -- raise
your hands if you have children.
your hands if you have children.
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3135
如果你有孩子，
如果你有孩子请举手。
如果你有孩子请举手。
13:51
Have you ever seen
a small child learn to walk?
a small child learn to walk?
283
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2467
你有见过婴儿学步吗？
13:54
What happens, and this happens
typically between 11 and 13 months,
typically between 11 and 13 months,
284
822708
3213
一般在11到13个月大时，
13:57
is the child gets up
and she sees everybody walking,
and she sees everybody walking,
285
825945
3696
常常是这样：孩子起床后，
她看到每个人都在走路，
她看到每个人都在走路，
14:01
she wants to walk, she gets up,
she falls down, she starts crying
she falls down, she starts crying
286
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3616
她便想走路，
她站起来，她摔倒，开始哭，
她站起来，她摔倒，开始哭，
14:05
and momma runs up and comforts her,
kisses the place, makes it well.
kisses the place, makes it well.
287
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3956
然后母亲会跑过来安慰她，
亲亲受伤的地方，平复心绪。
亲亲受伤的地方，平复心绪。
14:09
She tries again, falls down,
mommy runs up again.
mommy runs up again.
288
837285
2939
她再次尝试，再摔倒，
母亲又跑上前来。
母亲又跑上前来。
14:12
After some time, mommy feels tired
and no longer runs up
and no longer runs up
289
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3687
一段时间后，妈妈累了，
不再理会，
不再理会，
14:15
and the child stops crying,
290
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1931
孩子也便停止了哭泣，
14:17
and then she gets up, takes a step
291
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2046
她站起来，向前一步，
14:19
and doesn't fall down,
and then she takes another,
and then she takes another,
292
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2570
并没有摔倒，然后再向前一步，
14:22
and a beautiful smile comes on her face.
293
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脸上露出了灿烂的笑容。
14:24
And very soon, generally within 24 hours,
she's walking all over the place,
she's walking all over the place,
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很快，一天之内，
她就能到处走路，
她就能到处走路，
14:28
upsetting your living room arrangements.
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打乱你客厅的布置。
14:30
And you know you've gone
to a new stage of parenting.
to a new stage of parenting.
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此时你就知道自己到了
做父母的下一个阶段。
做父母的下一个阶段。
14:33
Right?
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对吗？
14:34
Now, imagine what would happen
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现在想象一下，
14:37
if each time the child fell,
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如果这个孩子每次摔倒时
14:40
she would say, "Oh my God, I failed again.
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都想，“哦 天呐，我又失败了。
14:43
I'm never going to learn to walk."
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我再也不想学走路了。“
14:46
And you have to get counseling for her
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然后你需要辅导她
14:48
to help her deal with
feelings of inadequacy
feelings of inadequacy
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帮住她如何解决无力感，
14:51
and not being able to achieve
and fail yet again.
and fail yet again.
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挫败感和失望感。
14:55
How long do you think it would take her
to learn to walk if you had to do that,
to learn to walk if you had to do that,
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你觉得如果这样，
要多久才能学会走路呢，
要多久才能学会走路呢，
14:59
if every three times she fell down,
you had to get a counselor
you had to get a counselor
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如果孩子每跌到三次，
15:02
to counsel her and so on?
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你每次都得开导她、
安慰她等等...？
安慰她等等...？
15:04
Sounds funny, doesn't it?
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听起来很可笑不是吗？
15:06
But that is exactly what we're doing.
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但是这恰恰是我们在做的事情。
15:08
What the child is doing
is focusing on the process.
is focusing on the process.
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而孩子在做的
就是关注过程。
就是关注过程。
15:13
She's investing in the process,
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她投入在过程中，
15:15
not in the outcome.
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而不是在结果上。
15:18
What we do is the exact opposite.
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和我们所做的正好相反。
15:21
As we grow up, we lose the ability
to invest in the process,
to invest in the process,
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当我们渐渐长大，
我们失去了关注过程的能力。
我们失去了关注过程的能力。
15:25
we start investing in the outcome.
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我们开始关注结果。
15:27
By definition the outcome
is outside of our control,
is outside of our control,
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结果本来就在我们的
控制能力范围之外，
控制能力范围之外，
15:31
and if that's where we spend
all of our emotional energy,
all of our emotional energy,
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如果我们都花时间精力在结果上，
15:33
we are going to get drained as we do.
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我们会变的疲惫不堪。
15:36
But if, on the other hand, we said,
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但是，如果从另一方面来讲，
15:38
"Here is the outcome,
I am going to invest in the process
I am going to invest in the process
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“这是我想要的结果，
我关注在过程上，
我关注在过程上，
15:41
and give it every single bit I could,"
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然后拼尽全力。“
15:44
every day is a blast,
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每天都很开心，
15:46
and you're well on your way to achieving
the vision that I outlined to you.
the vision that I outlined to you.
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4213
那你就正一步一步地迈向
我为你勾勒的愿景路上。
我为你勾勒的愿景路上。
15:51
The question that I get all the time,
is people say, "Professor Rao,
is people say, "Professor Rao,
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人们总问我一个同样的问题，
15:54
but nothing makes me passionate."
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“拉奥教授，但是没有什么
能让我激情澎湃。“
能让我激情澎湃。“
15:57
So I say, "OK, what would?"
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我会说，“好，再想想什么会？”
15:58
And they invariably come up with,
you know, here is a list of things.
you know, here is a list of things.
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然后他们不约而同的会说，
你知道，其实有这样一个清单。
你知道，其实有这样一个清单。
16:02
Here's my job and here's how much it pays,
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我想要的工作，
我想赚的钱，
我想赚的钱，
16:04
this is the kind of person my boss is,
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理想中老板的为人，
16:06
the kind of people my colleagues are,
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同事的为人，
16:08
and here's how my customers are,
here's how much I travel,
here's how much I travel,
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理想的客户怎么样，
我多久要旅行一次，
我多久要旅行一次，
16:11
here's how big my office is,
how deep the carpeting is,
how deep the carpeting is,
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我的办公室有多大，
地毯多干净，
地毯多干净，
16:13
how many windows I have --
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有多少窗户，
16:15
a bunch of parameters.
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等等诸事。
16:17
And what I tell them is what
I want to share with you,
I want to share with you,
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我想与你们分享我所告诉他们的，
16:20
because all of that stuff --
first of all, it doesn't exist.
first of all, it doesn't exist.
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因为所有那些事情，
首先，它们都还不存在。
首先，它们都还不存在。
16:23
But second, even if it did
and you were plugged into it,
and you were plugged into it,
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第二，即使存在，
你为之努力，
你为之努力，
16:26
it would not take more than six months
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1841
不出半年
16:28
for you to be the same sorry,
miserable self there as you are now,
miserable self there as you are now,
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3435
你就会觉得和从前一样，
难过痛苦。
难过痛苦。
16:32
because passion exists inside you.
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3438
因为激情在你心中。
16:36
It does not exist in the job.
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激情不在工作里。
16:39
And if you don't find a way
to ignite it within you
to ignite it within you
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3553
如果你没有找到
点燃心中激情的方法，
16:43
right where you are,
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1836
16:44
you are not going to find it outside.
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2771
你更不会在外界找到。
16:48
But if you do find a way
to ignite it where you are,
to ignite it where you are,
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4694
但是如果找到点燃激情的方法，
16:53
then you will find that the external world
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你就会发现生活
16:55
rearranges itself
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变的焕然一新，
16:59
to accommodate the new person
that you are becoming.
that you are becoming.
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2881
来迎合全新的你。
17:03
And as you do that, you will find
that miracles happen on a regular basis.
that miracles happen on a regular basis.
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这样做了以后，你会发现
身边经常充满了奇迹。
身边经常充满了奇迹。
17:08
Persons come up
whom you're delighted to meet.
whom you're delighted to meet.
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你乐意遇见的人会出现，
17:10
New people enter your life.
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1508
你会认识新的人，
17:11
It's just a breeze,
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1455
这都轻而易举。
17:14
because all you do in your life
is you take journeys.
is you take journeys.
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3106
因为你所做的就是享受过程。
17:17
You came here to this conference;
you went on a journey.
you went on a journey.
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2842
你来参加这次研讨会，
你在旅途中。
你在旅途中。
17:21
You hang around the water cooler,
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1600
你在饮水机旁闲晃，
抱怨你的工作环境多么糟糕，
17:22
talking about how terrible
your place of work is;
your place of work is;
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1030778
2470
17:25
you went on a journey.
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1260
也是在一个旅程中。
17:27
You watch "Desperate Housewives,"
you go on a journey.
you go on a journey.
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2729
你看“绝望的主妇”也是一段历程。
17:29
You go on a journey
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1679
这段历程
17:31
where 40-something women are having
affairs with 19-something gardeners
affairs with 19-something gardeners
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3351
不过是40多岁的主妇
在她们的丈夫们和模特们暧昧的时候
在她们的丈夫们和模特们暧昧的时候
17:34
while the husbands
are playing around with models.
are playing around with models.
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2367
和19岁的园丁出轨的旅程。
17:37
All you do is go on journeys.
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所有这些都是不同的旅程。
17:39
There's nothing wrong with that,
but just ask yourself,
but just ask yourself,
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2599
这并没有什么错，
但是要问问自己，
但是要问问自己，
17:41
"Is this a journey I want to take?
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3095
“我想要走一段怎样的路程？
17:44
Does this take me to a place
I want to spend time?"
I want to spend time?"
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3039
我想花时间去
这条路带我去的地方吗？
这条路带我去的地方吗？
17:48
And if you start doing that,
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如果你开始这么做，
17:50
you will find that your life changes.
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2254
你会发现生活开始改变了。
17:53
The kind of people you meet,
the things you talk about,
the things you talk about,
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2579
你接触的人，谈论的事，
17:55
the movies you go to,
the books you read --
the books you read --
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2033
去看的电影，所读的书，
17:57
everything changes.
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1455
一切都变了。
18:00
And you begin all of that
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然后你会通过关注过程
18:03
by focusing on the process.
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开始新的世界。
18:05
Invest in the process, not in the outcome.
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3014
投入过程，而不是结果。
18:09
Thank you.
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谢谢大家。
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Srikumar Rao - Happiness teacherExecutive, educator, writer and life coach Srikumar S. Rao asks, "Are you ready to succeed?" -- and in his famous course "Creativity and Personal Mastery," he teaches his students how to do so.
Why you should listen
Srikumar Rao was an executive at Warner Communications and McGraw-Hill before he created his celebrated MBA course, "Creativity and Personal Mastery." The course -- the only business school course that has its own alumni association -- shows students how to discover their unique purpose, creativity and happiness, through group work and a philosophical perspective. Its popularity has led to write-ups in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal and Business Week.
Rao is also an adviser to senior business executives, whom he helps find deeper meaning and engagement in their work. He's the author of Are You Ready to Succeed: Unconventional Strategies for Achieving Personal Mastery in Business and Life, and has been a contributing editor for Forbes. His latest book is titled Happiness at Work: Be Resilient, Motivated, and Successful - No Matter What.
Srikumar Rao | Speaker | TED.com