TEDxVermilionStreet
Arik Hartmann: Our treatment of HIV has advanced. Why hasn't the stigma changed?
艾瑞克哈特曼: 我們對於愛滋病毒的治療已經進步了，為什麼汙名卻仍然沒改變？
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在過去三十年間，愛滋病毒的治療已經有明顯的進步，為什麼我們對於愛滋病患的感受沒有跟著進步？在被診斷出愛滋病之後，艾瑞克哈特曼選擇讓自己過著透明的生活，公開他的狀況，希望能教育人們。在這場坦率、個人化的演說中，他分享了帶著愛滋病毒過日子的感受，並請求大家消除對於這種疾病的錯誤觀念。
Arik Hartmann - Naturalist
Arik Hartmann is tackling the ignorance and misinformation surrounding HIV/AIDS. Full bio
Arik Hartmann is tackling the ignorance and misinformation surrounding HIV/AIDS. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
So I want to start this talk
by showing y'all a photo,
by showing y'all a photo,
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在這場演說的一開始，
我想讓各位看一張照片，
我想讓各位看一張照片，
00:16
and it's a photo many of you
have probably seen before.
have probably seen before.
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在座很多人可能已經看過這張照片。
00:20
So I want you all to take a moment
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我想請各位花一點點時間，
00:22
and look at this photo,
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看看這張照片，
00:24
and really reflect on some
of the things that come to mind,
of the things that come to mind,
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然後好好深思出現在腦海中的東西，
00:28
and what are some
of those things, those words.
of those things, those words.
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那些東西、那些話語，是什麼？
00:31
Now, I'm going to ask you all
to look at me.
to look at me.
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現在，我想請各位看著我。
00:36
What words come to mind
when you look at me?
when you look at me?
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當你們看著我的時候，
想到的是什麼？
想到的是什麼？
00:40
What separates that man up there
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把我和上面那個人區隔開的
00:43
from me?
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是什麼？
00:46
The man in that photo is named David Kirby
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照片中的男子名叫大衛柯比，
00:48
and it was taken in 1990
as he was dying from AIDS-related illness,
as he was dying from AIDS-related illness,
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照片是在 1990 年拍攝的，
他因為愛滋相關的疾病病危，
他因為愛滋相關的疾病病危，
00:52
and it was subsequently
published in "Life Magazine."
published in "Life Magazine."
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後來照片在《生活》雜誌刊登出來。
00:55
The only real thing
separating me from Kirby
separating me from Kirby
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真正把我和柯比
區隔開來的東西，只有一樣，
區隔開來的東西，只有一樣，
00:59
is about 30 years of medical advancements
in the way that we treat HIV and AIDS.
in the way that we treat HIV and AIDS.
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就是在治療愛滋病毒和愛滋病方面，
約三十年的醫療進步。
約三十年的醫療進步。
01:05
So what I want to ask next is this:
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所以，接著我想要問：
01:10
If we have made such exponential progress
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如果在對抗愛滋病毒上我們
01:12
in combatting HIV,
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已經有這麼快速的進展，
01:14
why haven't our perceptions
of those with the virus evolved alongside?
of those with the virus evolved alongside?
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為什麼我們對於愛滋病人的
感受沒有一併演進？
感受沒有一併演進？
01:19
Why does HIV elicit this reaction from us
when it's so easily managed?
when it's so easily managed?
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既然愛滋病病毒已能被簡單處理，
為什麼它還會引發這樣的反應？
為什麼它還會引發這樣的反應？
01:25
When did the stigmatization even occur,
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這種汙名化是何時發生的？
01:29
and why hasn't it subsided?
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為什麼它還沒有消失？
01:32
And these are not
easy questions to answer.
easy questions to answer.
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要回答這些問題並不容易。
01:36
They're the congealing
of so many different factors and ideas.
of so many different factors and ideas.
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它們都牽涉到許多
不同的因素和想法。
不同的因素和想法。
01:39
Powerful images, like this one of Kirby,
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強大的影像，像是柯比這張照片，
01:42
these were the faces of the AIDS crisis
in the '80s and '90s,
in the '80s and '90s,
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這些是在八○、九○年代
愛滋危機時的臉孔，
愛滋危機時的臉孔，
01:45
and at the time the crisis
had a very obvious impact
had a very obvious impact
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在那危機的時代，非常明顯
01:48
on an already stigmatized group of people,
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會影響到已經被汙名化的族群，
01:50
and that was gay men.
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也就是同性戀族群。
01:52
So what the general straight public saw
was this very awful thing
was this very awful thing
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所以，一般的異性戀大眾看到的，
是這件非常糟的事情
是這件非常糟的事情
01:57
happening to a group of people who
were already on the fringes of society.
were already on the fringes of society.
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發生在一個已經處在
社會邊緣的族群身上。
社會邊緣的族群身上。
02:02
The media at the time began
to use the two almost interchangeably --
to use the two almost interchangeably --
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當時的媒體幾乎就把兩者
──愛滋病和同性戀──
──愛滋病和同性戀──
02:05
gay and AIDS --
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當作可互換使用的詞，
02:07
and at the 1984
Republican National Convention,
Republican National Convention,
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在 1984 年共和黨全國代表大會上，
02:10
one of the speakers joked
that gay stood for: "Got AIDS yet?"
that gay stood for: "Got AIDS yet?"
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一位發言人開玩笑說同性戀（GAY）
代表「Got Aids Yet（得愛滋沒）？」
代表「Got Aids Yet（得愛滋沒）？」
02:15
And that was the mindset at the time.
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那就是當時的心態。
02:18
But as we started
to understand the virus more
to understand the virus more
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但隨著我們更了解這種病毒，
02:21
and how it was transmitted,
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更了解它如何傳染，
02:22
we realized that that risk
had increased its territory.
had increased its territory.
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我們發現，風險的範圍擴大了。
02:27
The highly profiled case
of Ryan White in 1985,
of Ryan White in 1985,
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1985 年的萊恩懷特案例非常知名，
02:31
who was a 13-year-old hemophiliac
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他是位十三歲的血友病患者，
02:33
who had contracted HIV
from a contaminated blood treatment,
from a contaminated blood treatment,
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因為用感染的血液治療，
讓他染上了愛滋病毒，
讓他染上了愛滋病毒，
02:36
and this marked the most profound shift
in America's perception of HIV.
in America's perception of HIV.
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造成美國人對愛滋病毒的感受
產生最深刻轉變。
產生最深刻轉變。
02:42
No longer was it restricted
to these dark corners of society,
to these dark corners of society,
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這病毒不只出現於社會的黑暗角落，
02:46
to queers and drug users,
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不只是同志和吸毒者才會得到，
02:48
but now it was affecting people
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它也會影響到那些
02:49
that society deemed
worthy of their empathy,
worthy of their empathy,
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被社會視為值得同情的人，
02:52
to children.
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孩子們。
02:54
But that permeating fear
and that perception, it still lingers.
and that perception, it still lingers.
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但那具穿透力的恐懼和感受
仍然徘徊不去。
仍然徘徊不去。
02:59
And I want a show of hands
for these next few questions.
for these next few questions.
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接下來的幾個問題，
要請各位舉手表示。
要請各位舉手表示。
03:02
How many of you in here
were aware that with treatment,
were aware that with treatment,
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在座有哪些人知道，透過治療，
03:06
those with HIV not only
fend off AIDS completely,
fend off AIDS completely,
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得了愛滋病毒的人
不只是能完全抵禦愛滋病，
不只是能完全抵禦愛滋病，
03:09
but they live full and normal lives?
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他們還能回到完整、正常的生活？
03:14
Y'all are educated.
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你們都是受過教育的。
03:15
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
03:16
How many of you are aware
that with treatment,
that with treatment,
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在座有哪些人知道，透過治療，
03:19
those with HIV can reach
an undetectable status,
an undetectable status,
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得了愛滋病毒的人能夠
達到一種檢測不到的狀態，
達到一種檢測不到的狀態，
03:22
and that makes them
virtually uninfectious?
virtually uninfectious?
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且會讓他們幾乎是沒有傳染力的？
03:27
Much less.
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少了很多人。
03:28
How many of you were aware
of the pre- and postexposure treatments
of the pre- and postexposure treatments
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在座有哪些人知道，
有暴露前和暴露後治療，
有暴露前和暴露後治療，
03:33
that are available
that reduce the risk of transmission
that reduce the risk of transmission
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可以將傳染的風險減少掉
03:35
by over 90 percent?
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至少 90%？
03:39
See, these are incredible advancements
that we have made in fighting HIV,
that we have made in fighting HIV,
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看吧，我們在對抗愛滋病毒上
有這些不可思議的進步，
有這些不可思議的進步，
03:43
yet they have not managed
to dent the perception
to dent the perception
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但這些進步卻沒能夠影響到大部份
03:46
that most Americans have
of the virus and those living with it.
of the virus and those living with it.
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美國人對於該病毒以及病患的感受。
03:50
And I don't want you to think
I'm downplaying the danger of this virus,
I'm downplaying the danger of this virus,
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我並不希望你們認為我刻意
輕描淡寫這種病毒的危險性，
輕描淡寫這種病毒的危險性，
03:56
and I am not ignorant of
the harrowing past of the AIDS epidemic.
the harrowing past of the AIDS epidemic.
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我並不是不知道在愛滋病
流行時的那段悲慘歷史。
流行時的那段悲慘歷史。
04:00
I am trying to convey
that there is hope for those infected
that there is hope for those infected
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我想傳達的訊息是，
受感染的人是有希望的，
受感染的人是有希望的，
04:03
and HIV is not the death sentence
it was in the '80s.
it was in the '80s.
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且愛滋病毒不再像
八○年代時代表著死刑了。
八○年代時代表著死刑了。
04:07
And now you may ask, and I asked
this question myself initially:
this question myself initially:
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你可能會問這個問題，
我自己在一開始就問了：
我自己在一開始就問了：
04:11
Where are the stories?
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故事在哪裡？
04:13
Where are these people living with HIV?
Why haven't they been vocal?
Why haven't they been vocal?
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帶著愛滋病毒過日子的人在哪裡？
他們為什麼沒聲音？
他們為什麼沒聲音？
04:17
How can I believe these successes,
or these statistics,
or these statistics,
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我要如何相信這些成功經驗
或是這些統計數據，
或是這些統計數據，
04:21
without seeing the successes?
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如果我沒親眼看見成功？
04:24
And this is actually
a very easy question for me to answer.
a very easy question for me to answer.
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對我來說，要回答這個問題很容易。
04:28
Fear, stigma and shame:
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恐懼→汙名→羞恥：
04:32
these keep those living with HIV
in the closet, so to speak.
in the closet, so to speak.
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這些因素讓得了愛滋病毒的人
可以說是躲在櫃子裡面。
可以說是躲在櫃子裡面。
04:36
Our sexual histories are as personal
to us as our medical histories,
to us as our medical histories,
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我們在性方面的過去經驗
和我們的病例一樣是很個人的資訊，
和我們的病例一樣是很個人的資訊，
04:40
and when you overlap the two,
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當你把兩者部份重疊時，
04:41
you can find yourself
in a very sensitive space.
in a very sensitive space.
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就會發現自己處在一個
非常敏感的空間中。
非常敏感的空間中。
04:44
The fear of how others
perceive us when we're honest
perceive us when we're honest
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當我們誠實的時候，
會害怕別人對我們的感受，
會害怕別人對我們的感受，
04:47
keeps us from doing many things in life,
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因此讓我們在人生中
有許多事都不敢去做，
有許多事都不敢去做，
04:50
and this is the case
for the HIV-positive population.
for the HIV-positive population.
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對於愛滋病毒檢測
陽性的人而言就是如此。
陽性的人而言就是如此。
04:53
To face social scrutiny and ridicule
is the price that we pay for transparency,
is the price that we pay for transparency,
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我們要為透明所付出的代價，
就是面對社會的嚴密檢視和奚落，
就是面對社會的嚴密檢視和奚落，
04:59
and why become a martyr
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為什麼要當烈士，
05:01
when you can effectively pass
as someone without HIV?
as someone without HIV?
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如果你裝成沒有愛滋病的人
就能有效地混過去？
就能有效地混過去？
05:05
After all, there are no
physical indications you have the virus.
physical indications you have the virus.
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畢竟，沒有任何身體上的特徵
代表你得了愛滋病毒。
代表你得了愛滋病毒。
05:08
There's no sign that you wear.
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你身上沒有戴著標牌。
05:12
There is safety in assimilation,
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同化能夠帶來安全感，
05:14
and there is safety in invisibility.
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不被看見能夠帶來安全感。
05:18
I'm here to throw back that veil
and share my story.
and share my story.
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我來這裡是要把面紗揭開，
分享我的故事。
分享我的故事。
05:23
So in the fall of 2014,
I was a sophomore in college
I was a sophomore in college
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2014 年秋天，我是大二學生，
05:27
and like most college students,
I was sexually active,
I was sexually active,
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我和大部份大學生一樣性活躍，
05:30
and I generally took precautions
to minimize the risk that sex carries.
to minimize the risk that sex carries.
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我通常都會做預防措施
把性帶來的風險減到最小。
把性帶來的風險減到最小。
05:35
Now, I say generally,
because I wasn't always safe.
because I wasn't always safe.
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我說「通常」，因為
我並非總是那麼小心。
我並非總是那麼小心。
05:39
It only takes a single misstep
before we're flat on the ground,
before we're flat on the ground,
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只要一次失誤，我們就可能完蛋了，
05:42
and my misstep is pretty obvious.
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而我的失誤十分明顯。
05:44
I had unprotected sex,
and I didn't think much of it.
and I didn't think much of it.
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我曾做過沒有保護措施的性交，
而我不以為意。
而我不以為意。
05:47
Fast-forward about three weeks,
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把時間快轉三週，
05:49
and it felt like I'd been trampled
by a herd of wildebeest.
by a herd of wildebeest.
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感覺就像我被一群牛羚踩踏過去。
05:54
The aches in my body were
like nothing I have felt before or since.
like nothing I have felt before or since.
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我過去和之後都沒有體驗過
這種程度的身體疼痛。
這種程度的身體疼痛。
05:58
I would get these bouts
of fever and chill.
of fever and chill.
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我會不斷發燒又發冷。
06:01
I would reel with nausea,
and it was difficult to walk.
and it was difficult to walk.
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我會因為眩暈嘔吐，很難行走。
06:05
Being a biology student,
I had some prior exposure to disease,
I had some prior exposure to disease,
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身為生物學系的學生，
我比別人早接觸到疾病知識，
我比別人早接觸到疾病知識，
06:09
and being a fairly informed gay man,
I had read a bit on HIV,
I had read a bit on HIV,
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而身為一個有見識的同性戀，
我對愛滋病毒有些認識，
我對愛滋病毒有些認識，
06:13
so to me, it clicked
that this was seroconversion,
that this was seroconversion,
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所以，對我來說，
這似乎就是血清轉化現象，
這似乎就是血清轉化現象，
06:16
or as it's sometimes called,
acute HIV infection.
acute HIV infection.
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或時候會被稱為急性愛滋病毒感染。
06:19
And this is the body's reaction
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而這是身體的反應，
06:21
in producing antibodies
to the HIV antigen.
to the HIV antigen.
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產生愛滋病毒抗原的抗體。
06:24
It's important to note that not everybody
goes through this phase of sickness,
goes through this phase of sickness,
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很重要的是要注意到，並非
每個人都會經歷這個生病階段，
每個人都會經歷這個生病階段，
06:28
but I was one of the lucky ones who did.
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而我很幸運是有經歷的人之一。
06:31
And I was lucky as in,
there were these physical symptoms
there were these physical symptoms
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說幸運，是因為有這些身體徵兆，
06:34
that let me know, hey, something is wrong,
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才讓我知道，嘿，
好像有什麼不對勁，
好像有什麼不對勁，
06:37
and it let me detect
the virus pretty early.
the virus pretty early.
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讓我能在很早期就偵測出病毒。
06:41
So just to clarify,
just to hit the nail on head,
just to hit the nail on head,
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所以，為了澄清，
為了要能準確知道，
為了要能準確知道，
06:45
I got tested on campus.
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我在校園裡做了檢測。
06:47
And they said they would call me
the next morning with the results,
the next morning with the results,
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他們說，隔天早上會
打電話給我告訴我結果，
打電話給我告訴我結果，
06:51
and they called me,
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他們打來了，
06:53
but they asked me to come in
and speak to the doctor on staff.
and speak to the doctor on staff.
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但他們是叫我過去，和醫生直接談。
06:56
And the reaction I received from her
wasn't what I was expecting.
wasn't what I was expecting.
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而我從她身上得到的反應
和我預期的不同。
和我預期的不同。
07:01
She reassured me what I already knew,
that this wasn't a death sentence,
that this wasn't a death sentence,
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她向我保證我已經知道的事，
這並不是判死刑，
這並不是判死刑，
07:05
and she even offered
to put me in contact with her brother,
to put me in contact with her brother,
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她甚至願意讓我和她哥哥聯絡，
07:08
who had been living with HIV
since the early '90s.
since the early '90s.
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她哥哥從九○年代初就
一直和愛滋病毒共存。
一直和愛滋病毒共存。
07:11
I declined her offer,
but I was deeply touched.
but I was deeply touched.
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我拒絕了她的好意，但我深受感動。
07:15
I was expecting to be reprimanded.
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我本來預期會被譴責的。
07:17
I was expecting pity and disappointment,
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我本來預期會有憐憫和失望，
07:20
and I was shown compassion
and human warmth,
and human warmth,
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我得到的卻是同情和人情溫暖，
07:23
and I'm forever grateful
for that first exchange.
for that first exchange.
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我永遠感激那第一次的交流。
07:27
So obviously for a few weeks,
I was a physical mess.
I was a physical mess.
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不難想像，接下來幾週，
我的身體狀況糟透了
我的身體狀況糟透了
07:32
Emotionally, mentally, I was doing OK.
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情緒上、心理上，我都還可以。
07:34
I was taking it well.
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對這件事我很能接受。
07:36
But my body was ravaged,
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但我的身體受盡蹂躪，
07:38
and those close to me,
they weren't oblivious.
they weren't oblivious.
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和我親近的人，他們不會沒察覺。
07:41
So I sat my roommates down,
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所以，我請室友們坐下，
07:43
and I let them know
I'd been diagnosed with HIV,
I'd been diagnosed with HIV,
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我讓他們知道我被
診斷出了愛滋病毒，
診斷出了愛滋病毒，
07:46
that I was about to receive treatment,
and I didn't want them to worry.
and I didn't want them to worry.
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我很快就要接受治療，
我不希望他們擔心。
我不希望他們擔心。
07:51
And I remember the look on their faces.
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我還記得他們臉上的神情。
07:54
They were holding each other
on the couch and they were crying,
on the couch and they were crying,
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坐在沙發上，他們抱著彼此哭泣，
07:57
and I consoled them.
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而我在安慰他們。
07:58
I consoled them about my own bad news,
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因為我的壞消息，我還要安慰他們，
08:01
but it was heartwarming
to see that they cared.
to see that they cared.
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但看到他們在乎，讓我覺得很窩心。
08:05
But from that night, I noticed a shift
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但從那晚之後，
我就注意到，我在家中
我就注意到，我在家中
08:08
in the way that I was treated at home.
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被對待的方式有所轉變。
08:11
My roommates wouldn't
touch anything of mine,
touch anything of mine,
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我的室友不會碰任何我的東西，
08:13
and they wouldn't eat
anything I had cooked.
anything I had cooked.
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他們也不吃我煮的任何東西。
08:16
Now, in South Louisiana,
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在南路易斯安那州，
08:19
we all know that you don't refuse food.
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我們都知道你不會拒絕食物的。
08:21
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
08:22
And I'm a damn good cook,
so don't think that passed me by.
so don't think that passed me by.
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而我是個超棒的廚師，
所以別以為我沒注意到。
所以別以為我沒注意到。
08:25
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
08:28
But from these first silent hints,
their aversion got gradually more obvious
their aversion got gradually more obvious
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但從這些最初的沉默暗示之後，
他們的反感漸漸變明顯了，
他們的反感漸漸變明顯了，
08:32
and more offensive.
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且更冒犯我了。
08:34
I was asked to move my toothbrush
from the bathroom,
from the bathroom,
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我被要求牙刷不能放在浴室，
08:38
I was asked to not share towels,
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我被要求不能和他們共用毛巾，
08:40
and I was even asked
to wash my clothes on a hotter setting.
to wash my clothes on a hotter setting.
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我甚至被要求洗衣服時
設定的水溫要更高。
設定的水溫要更高。
08:44
This wasn't head lice, y'all.
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各位，這不是頭蝨。
08:46
This wasn't scabies. This was HIV.
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這不是疥瘡。這是愛滋病毒。
08:48
It can be transmitted through blood,
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它的傳染途徑有血液、
08:51
sexual fluids like semen or vaginal fluids
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性體液，如精子或陰道分泌液，
08:54
and breast milk.
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還有母乳。
08:55
Since I wasn't sleeping with my roommates,
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既然我沒和我的室友上床，
08:58
I wasn't breastfeeding them --
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我也沒有餵他們母乳，
09:00
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
且我們又沒有在重演《暮光之城》，
（譯註：吸血鬼電影）
（譯註：吸血鬼電影）
09:01
and we weren't reenacting "Twilight,"
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09:03
I was of no risk to them
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我對他們而言是沒風險的。
09:05
and I made this aware to them,
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我讓他們知道這件事，
09:08
but still, this discomfort, it continued,
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但這種不舒服感仍然持續著，
09:10
until eventually I was asked to move out.
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2240
直到最後我被要求搬出去。
09:13
And I was asked to move out
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我會被要求搬出去，
09:15
because one of my roommates
had shared my status with her parents.
had shared my status with her parents.
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3616
是因為其中一名室友和
她的父母談了我的狀況。
她的父母談了我的狀況。
09:18
She shared my personal
medical information to strangers.
medical information to strangers.
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她把我的個人醫療資訊
和陌生人分享。
和陌生人分享。
09:25
And now I'm doing that
in a roomful of 300 of y'all,
in a roomful of 300 of y'all,
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而我現在在這間三百人的廳中
也在做著同樣的事，
也在做著同樣的事，
09:28
but at the time, this was not
something I was comfortable with,
something I was comfortable with,
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但當時，那件事讓我感到不舒服，
09:32
and they expressed their discomfort
with their daughter living with me.
with their daughter living with me.
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而她父母表示，讓他們的女兒
和我同住會讓他們感到不舒服。
和我同住會讓他們感到不舒服。
我是同性戀，在有
宗教信仰的家庭中長大，
宗教信仰的家庭中長大，
09:37
So being gay, raised
in a religious household
in a religious household
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09:39
and living in the South,
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還住在南方，
09:41
discrimination wasn't new to me.
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1760
歧視對我來說並不陌生。
09:43
But this form was,
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但這個形式是以前沒碰過的，
09:46
and it was tremendously disappointing
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1816
且它非常讓人失望，
09:48
because it came
from such an unlikely source.
from such an unlikely source.
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3000
因為它是來自那麼
不可能歧視我的來源。
不可能歧視我的來源。
09:52
Not only were these
college-educated people,
college-educated people,
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他們不只受大學教育，
09:55
not only were they other members
of the LGBT community,
of the LGBT community,
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他們不只也是 LGBT 社群的成員，
09:59
but they were also my friends.
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他們還是我的朋友。
10:02
So I did. I moved out
at the end of the semester.
at the end of the semester.
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所以，我照做了，
我在學期末時搬出去了。
我在學期末時搬出去了。
10:05
But it wasn't to appease them.
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但搬出去不是為了滿足他們。
10:07
It was out of respect for myself.
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而是出於對我自己的尊重。
10:10
I wasn't going to subject myself to people
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我不要讓我自己臣服於
10:12
who were unwilling
to remedy their ignorance,
to remedy their ignorance,
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那些不願補救自身無知的人，
10:15
and I wasn't going to let something
that was now a part of me
that was now a part of me
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2896
我不要讓現在已經
成為我一部份的東西
成為我一部份的東西
10:18
ever be used as a tool against me.
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1880
被用來當作對抗我的工具。
10:21
So I opted for transparency
about my status,
about my status,
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3576
所以，我選擇讓我的狀況透明化，
10:25
always being visible.
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1960
永遠被看見，不再躲藏。
10:27
And this is what I like to call
being the everyday advocate.
being the everyday advocate.
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我把它稱為「當個日常的倡導者」。
10:31
The point of this transparency,
the point of this everyday advocacy,
the point of this everyday advocacy,
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這種透明化的重點，
做日常倡導者的重點，
做日常倡導者的重點，
10:35
was to dispel ignorance,
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是要消除無知，
10:37
and ignorance is a very scary word.
195
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2976
而無知是個非常可怕的詞。
10:40
We don't want to be seen as ignorant,
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2456
我們都不想被視為無知的人，
10:42
and we definitely
don't want to be called it.
don't want to be called it.
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2576
我們肯定不想被說是無知的人。
10:45
But ignorance is not
synonymous with stupid.
synonymous with stupid.
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3016
但無知並不是愚笨的同義詞。
10:48
It's not the inability to learn.
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2376
無知並非沒有能力去學習。
10:50
It's the state you're in before you learn.
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3136
它是在你學習之前的一種狀態。
10:54
So when I saw someone
coming from a place of ignorance,
coming from a place of ignorance,
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3336
所以，當我看到
來自無知之地的人時，
來自無知之地的人時，
10:57
I saw an opportunity for them to learn.
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3216
我看到的是讓他們學習的機會。
11:00
And hopefully, if I could
spread some education,
spread some education,
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3136
我希望，如果我可以散佈一些教育，
或許可以幫助遇到類似像
我的室友狀況的其他人，
我的室友狀況的其他人，
11:03
then I could mitigate
situations for others
situations for others
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2216
11:06
like I had experienced with my roommates
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把情況緩和下來，
11:08
and save someone else
down the line that humiliation.
down the line that humiliation.
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幫其他人省去一些羞辱。
11:12
So the reactions I received
haven't been all positive.
haven't been all positive.
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3200
我得到的反應不全是正面的。
11:17
Here in the South,
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1976
在南方這裡，
11:19
we have a lot stigma
due to religious pressures,
due to religious pressures,
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3376
我們背負許多汙名，
原因包括宗教的壓力、
原因包括宗教的壓力、
11:22
our lack of a comprehensive sex education
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2896
我們缺乏全面的性教育，
11:25
and our general conservative outlook
on anything sexual.
on anything sexual.
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3576
以及我們一般來說會用保守眼光
來看任何和性有關的事。
來看任何和性有關的事。
11:28
We view this as a gay disease.
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1960
我們把愛滋病視為同性戀的病。
11:31
Globally, most new HIV infections
occur between heterosexual partners,
occur between heterosexual partners,
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4416
全球來看，大部份新的愛滋病毒
感染案例發生在異性伴侶間，
感染案例發生在異性伴侶間，
11:36
and here in the States,
women, especially women of color,
women, especially women of color,
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在美國這裡，女性，
特別是有色人種女性，
特別是有色人種女性，
11:38
are at an increased risk.
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面臨的風險在上升。
11:40
This is not a gay disease.
It never has been.
It never has been.
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這並不是同性戀的病，從來就不是。
11:43
It's a disease we should
all be concerned with.
all be concerned with.
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2200
這是一種我們應該要關心的疾病。
11:47
So initially, I felt limited.
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3376
所以，一開始，我覺得很受限。
11:50
I wanted to expand my scope
and reach beyond what was around me.
and reach beyond what was around me.
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4080
我想要擴展我的眼界，
想要脫出圍繞在我身邊的一切。
想要脫出圍繞在我身邊的一切。
11:55
So naturally,
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所以，很自然地，
11:58
I turned to the dark underworld
of online dating apps,
of online dating apps,
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我轉向了線上約會
應用程式的黑暗世界，
應用程式的黑暗世界，
12:01
to apps like Grindr,
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2176
像 Grindr 這種應用程式，
12:04
and for those of you who are unfamiliar,
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1936
如果你不熟悉這領域，
12:06
these are dating apps
targeted towards gay men.
targeted towards gay men.
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2296
這些都是同性戀的約會應用程式。
12:08
You can upload a profile and a picture
225
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1856
你可以上傳你的個人資訊和照片，
12:10
and it will show you
available guys within a radius.
available guys within a radius.
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2696
它就會告訴你在一個半徑內
可聯繫的同性戀。
可聯繫的同性戀。
12:13
Y'all have probably heard of Tinder.
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你們可能都聽過 Tinder。
12:15
Grindr has been around for a lot longer,
228
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1936
Grindr 的歷史比它長很多，
12:17
since it was much harder
to meet your future gay husband
to meet your future gay husband
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3096
因為若想找個同性戀的
未來老公相對難許多，
未來老公相對難許多，
12:20
at church or the grocery store,
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2136
不論在教堂、雜貨店，
12:22
or whatever straight people did
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1856
或使用任何異性戀在發現
能用手機約會前的所使用的方式。
能用手機約會前的所使用的方式。
12:24
before they found out
they could date on their phones.
they could date on their phones.
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12:27
(Laughter)
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1136
（笑聲）
12:28
So on Grindr, if you liked
what you saw or read,
what you saw or read,
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3096
所以，在 Grindr 上，
如果你喜歡你看到或讀到的，
如果你喜歡你看到或讀到的，
12:31
you could send someone a message,
you can meet up, you can do other things.
you can meet up, you can do other things.
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你就可以發個訊息給對方，
你們可以見面，可以做其他事。
你們可以見面，可以做其他事。
12:35
So on my profile,
I obviously stated that I had HIV,
I obviously stated that I had HIV,
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所以，在我的個人資訊中，
我很明確寫出我有愛滋病毒，
我很明確寫出我有愛滋病毒，
12:39
I was undetectable, and I welcomed
questions about my status.
questions about my status.
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4296
我的病毒是檢測不出來的，
且我歡迎大家詢問我的狀況。
且我歡迎大家詢問我的狀況。
12:44
And I received a lot of questions
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2016
我收到很多問題，
12:46
and a lot of comments,
both positive and negative.
both positive and negative.
239
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2520
和很多意見，正面和負面的都有。
12:49
And I want to start with the negative,
240
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2616
我想要從負面的開始，
12:52
just to frame some of this ignorance
that I've mentioned before.
that I've mentioned before.
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3040
只是想表達我之前提到的無知。
12:56
And most of these negative comments
were passing remarks or assumptions.
were passing remarks or assumptions.
242
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4536
大部份的負面意見
都是在提出評論或是假設。
都是在提出評論或是假設。
13:00
They would assume things
about my sex life or my sex habits.
about my sex life or my sex habits.
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3536
他們對我的性生活
或是性習慣做出假設。
或是性習慣做出假設。
13:04
They would assume
I put myself or others at risk.
I put myself or others at risk.
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他們會假設我讓
我自己及他人承受風險。
我自己及他人承受風險。
13:07
But very often I would just be met
with these passing ignorant remarks.
with these passing ignorant remarks.
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但我經常遇到
這種提出無知評論的人。
這種提出無知評論的人。
13:11
In the gay community,
it's common to hear the word "clean"
it's common to hear the word "clean"
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在同性戀社群中，
常常會聽到「乾淨」這個字，
常常會聽到「乾淨」這個字，
13:15
when you're referring to someone
who is HIV negative.
who is HIV negative.
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指的是愛滋病毒檢測結果陰性的人。
13:18
Of course the flip side to that
is being unclean, or dirty,
is being unclean, or dirty,
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當然，它反面就是不乾淨，或骯髒，
13:22
when you do have HIV.
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也就是指有愛滋病毒的人。
13:23
Now, I'm not sensitive
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我並不敏感，
13:25
and I'm only truly dirty
after a day in the field,
after a day in the field,
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我只有在田裡一整天之後
才會真的很骯髒，
才會真的很骯髒，
13:29
but this is damaging language.
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但這是種有破壞性的用詞。
13:31
This is a community-driven stigma
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這是一種由社群驅使的汙名，
13:33
that keeps many gay men
from disclosing their status,
from disclosing their status,
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讓許多同性戀不敢揭露他們的狀況，
13:36
and it keeps those newly diagnosed
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也讓剛被診斷出愛滋病的人
13:38
from seeking support
within their own community,
within their own community,
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不能在他們自己的社群內尋求協助，
13:40
and I find that truly distressing.
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而我覺得這點非常令人苦惱。
13:43
But thankfully, the positive responses
have been a lot more numerous,
have been a lot more numerous,
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但，謝天謝地，正面的回應更多，
13:47
and they came from guys who were curious.
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做出這些回應的是好奇的人。
13:49
And they were curious
about the risks of transmission,
about the risks of transmission,
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他們好奇想了解傳染的風險，
13:52
or what exactly "undetectable" meant,
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或是「無法檢測出來」是什麼意思，
13:55
or where they could get tested,
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或是可以在哪裡做檢測，
13:57
or some guys would ask me
about my experiences,
about my experiences,
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或是還有人會問我我的經歷，
13:59
and I could share my story with them.
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我就能和他們分享我的故事。
14:01
But most importantly,
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但，最重要的是，
14:04
I would get approached by guys
who were newly diagnosed with HIV
who were newly diagnosed with HIV
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會有剛被診斷出愛滋病的人來找我，
14:08
and they were scared, and they were alone,
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他們很害怕，他們很孤單，
14:10
and they didn't know
what step to take next.
what step to take next.
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他們不知道下一步該怎麼做。
14:13
They didn't want to tell their family,
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他們不想要告訴家人，
14:15
they didn't want to tell their friends
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他們不想要告訴朋友，
14:17
and they felt damaged,
and they felt dirty.
and they felt dirty.
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他們覺得受損、骯髒。
14:21
And I did whatever I could
to immediately calm them,
to immediately calm them,
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我會盡我所能立刻安撫他們，
14:24
and then I would put them in contact
with AcadianaCares,
with AcadianaCares,
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接著，我會讓他們和
AcadianaCares 搭上線，
AcadianaCares 搭上線，
14:27
which is a wonderful resource
we have in our community
we have in our community
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那是我們社群當中一個很棒的資源，
14:30
for those with HIV.
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針對愛滋病患者的。
14:32
And I'd put them in contact
with people I knew personally
with people I knew personally
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我讓他們聯絡我自身認識的人，
14:35
so that they could not only
have this safe space to feel human again,
have this safe space to feel human again,
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讓他們不只能找到一個
再次感到自己是人的地方，
再次感到自己是人的地方，
14:39
but so they could also have
the resources they needed
the resources they needed
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同時也可以取得他們需要的資源，
14:42
in affording their treatment.
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讓他們能負擔治療。
14:44
And this was by far
the most humbling aspect
the most humbling aspect
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目前為止，這是我讓自己透明化之後
14:47
of my transparency,
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最謙遜的面向，
14:49
that I could have some positive impact
on those who were suffering like I did,
on those who were suffering like I did,
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我能夠對和我一樣受苦的人
造成正面的影響，
造成正面的影響，
14:54
that I could help those
who were in the dark,
who were in the dark,
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我可以協助在黑暗中的人，
14:57
because I had been there,
and it wasn't a good place to be.
and it wasn't a good place to be.
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因為我也曾在黑暗中待過，
那並不是個好棲身處。
那並不是個好棲身處。
15:01
These guys came from
all different backgrounds,
all different backgrounds,
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這些人來自各式各樣的背景，
15:03
and many of them
weren't as informed as I had been,
weren't as informed as I had been,
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當中許多人並不像
我當時知道的那麼多，
我當時知道的那麼多，
15:06
and they were coming to me
from a place of fear.
from a place of fear.
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他們是從恐懼的地方過來找我。
15:09
Some of these people I knew personally,
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這些人當中，有的我認識本人，
15:11
or they knew of me,
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或是他們聽說過我，
15:13
but many more, they were anonymous.
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但更多是匿名的人。
15:15
They were these blank profiles
who were too afraid to show their faces
who were too afraid to show their faces
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他們的個人資訊是空白的，
在發生了他們告訴我的那些事之後，
在發生了他們告訴我的那些事之後，
15:19
after what they had told me.
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他們害怕到不願露臉。
15:21
And on the topic of transparency,
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至於透明化的這個主題，
15:24
I want to leave y'all with a few thoughts.
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我想要留給各位幾個想法，
15:26
I found that with whatever risk
or gamble I took
or gamble I took
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我發現，當我公開我的臉孔，
不論我冒什麼風險或賭上什麼，
15:30
in putting my face out there,
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15:32
it was well worth any negative comment,
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任何負面評論都值得，
我受到的任何抨擊都值得，
15:34
any flak I received,
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15:36
because I felt I was able to make
this real and this tangible impact.
this real and this tangible impact.
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因為我覺得我能夠造成
這真實、有形的影響。
這真實、有形的影響。
15:41
And it showed me that our efforts resound,
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它讓我看到我們的努力得到迴響，
15:44
that we can alter the lives
that we encounter for the good,
that we encounter for the good,
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我們為善能夠改變
那些和我們相遇的生命，
那些和我們相遇的生命，
15:48
and they in turn can take that momentum
and push it even further.
and push it even further.
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輪到他們用那動能向前更推進一步。
15:52
And if any of you or anyone you know
is dealing with HIV,
is dealing with HIV,
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如果你們或是你們認識的人
正在對抗愛滋病毒，
正在對抗愛滋病毒，
15:56
or if you want to see what resources
you have in your community,
you have in your community,
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或是如果你想要知道
你的社群內有什麼資源，
你的社群內有什麼資源，
15:59
or just educate yourself
more on the disease,
more on the disease,
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或只是想讓自己學更多
關於這疾病的知識，
關於這疾病的知識，
16:02
here are some wonderful national sites
that you can access
that you can access
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這裡有一些很棒的全國網站，
可以上去看看，
可以上去看看，
16:05
and you are more than welcome
to find me after this talk
to find me after this talk
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也非常歡迎你們在
這場演說之後來找我，
這場演說之後來找我，
16:08
and ask me anything you'd like.
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問我任何你們想問的問題。
16:11
We've all heard the phrase
"to see the forest through the trees,"
"to see the forest through the trees,"
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我們都聽過「見樹不見林」，
16:15
so I implore all of you here to really
see the human through the disease.
see the human through the disease.
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我懇求在座所有人，
真正去看到這疾病背後的「人」。
真正去看到這疾病背後的「人」。
16:21
It's a very easy thing
to see numbers and statistics
to see numbers and statistics
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只看數字和統計資料很容易，
只感受到危險也非常容易。
16:25
and only see the perceived dangers.
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16:28
It's a much harder thing to see
all the faces behind those numbers.
all the faces behind those numbers.
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難的是看到這些數字
背後的所有面孔。
背後的所有面孔。
16:34
So when you find yourself
thinking those things, those words,
thinking those things, those words,
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當你發現你自己開始思考
這些事、這些話，
這些事、這些話，
16:37
what you might have thought
looking at David Kirby,
looking at David Kirby,
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當你看著大衛柯比時
你可能會想什麼，
你可能會想什麼，
16:40
I ask you instead,
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我請你改個方式，
16:43
think son,
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想想兒子，
16:45
or think brother,
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或想想兄弟，
16:47
think friend
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想想朋友，
16:49
and most importantly, think human.
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最重要的，想想人類。
16:52
Seek education when faced with ignorance,
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面對無知的人時，尋求教育，
16:55
and always be mindful,
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總是記得留心，
16:57
and always be compassionate.
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總是保有同情心。
17:00
Thank you.
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謝謝你們。
17:01
(Applause)
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（掌聲）
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Arik Hartmann - NaturalistArik Hartmann is tackling the ignorance and misinformation surrounding HIV/AIDS.
Why you should listen
Arik Hartmann was diagnosed with HIV in 2014 at his college campus clinic after a bout of flu-like illness. After disclosing his HIV status to roommates, he was faced with increasing ostracization and ultimately was asked to leave the home he had been renting. From that moment he decided to always be open about his HIV status and to use it open a dialogue and educate others. He began tackling the ignorance and misinformation surrounding HIV/AIDS within his local community in Louisiana, and more surprisingly in the gay community. Using dating apps like Grindr and Tinder as a medium for HIV advocacy, he began to educate strangers about HIV/AIDS and to help those newly diagnosed acquire treatment and care. Hartmann believes that by being transparent with our illnesses and health we can all engage and educate those around us -- and hopefully dispel damaging stigmas.
Though his advocacy is HIV oriented, Hartmann is a passionate naturalist and can be found catching snakes and frogs in his free time. He has worked with the United States Geological Survey assisting in coastal ecology and herpetological research. He received his undergraduate degree in Resource Biology and Biodiversity from the University of Louisiana at Lafayette. He currently lives in Gainesville, Florida and plans to pursue a master's degree in wildlife ecology.
Arik Hartmann | Speaker | TED.com