TEDSalon 2006
Rives: If I controlled the Internet
Rives menguasai internet
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Berapa banyak penyair dapat menjejalkan eBay, Friendster, dan Monster.com ke dalam 3 menit puisi yang pantas mendapatkan sambutan luar biasa? Nikmatilah bakat unik Rives.
Rives - Performance poet, multimedia artist
Performance artist and storyteller Rives has been called "the first 2.0 poet," using images, video and technology to bring his words to life. Full bio
Performance artist and storyteller Rives has been called "the first 2.0 poet," using images, video and technology to bring his words to life. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:26
I wrote this poem after hearing a pretty well known actress
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Saya menulis puisi ini setelah mendengar seorang aktris terkenal
00:30
tell a very well known interviewer on television,
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yang mengatakan kepada seorang reporter terkenal di televisi,
00:33
"I'm really getting into the Internet lately.
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"Saya sering menggunakan internet belakangan ini.
00:35
I just wish it were more organized."
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Saya hanya berharap internet lebih teratur."
00:37
So ...
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Jadi --
00:38
(Laughter)
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(Tawa)
00:42
If I controlled the Internet,
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jika aku menguasai internet,
00:45
you could auction your broken heart on eBay.
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engkau dapat melelang hatimu yang hancur di eBay,
00:49
Take the money; go to Amazon;
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ambillah uangnya, pergilah ke Amazon,
00:51
buy a phonebook for a country you've never been to -- call folks at random
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belilah buku telepon negara yang belum pernah kau datangi, telepon sembarang orang
00:55
until you find someone who flirts really well in a foreign language.
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sampai engkau menemukan perayu ulung dalam bahasa asing.
00:58
(Laughter)
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(Tawa)
00:59
If I were in charge of the Internet,
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Jika aku mengendalikan internet,
01:01
you could Mapquest your lover's mood swings.
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engkau dapat memetakan suasana hati kekasihmu.
01:04
Hang left at cranky, right at preoccupied,
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Belok kiri untuk marah, kanan untuk gembira,
01:08
U-turn on silent treatment,
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putar arah untuk bungkam,
01:10
all the way back to tongue kissing and good lovin'.
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dan seterusnya hingga berciuman dan bercinta,
01:13
You could navigate and understand every emotional intersection.
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engkau dapat mengemudi dan memahami semua persimpangan emosi.
01:16
Some days, I'm as shallow as a baking pan,
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Terkadang, aku sedangkal loyang,
01:19
but I still stretch miles in all directions.
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namun aku tetap terbentang ke mana-mana.
01:21
If I owned the Internet, Napster, Monster and Friendster.com
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Jika aku pemilik internet, Napster, Monster, dan Friendster.com
01:27
would be one big website.
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akan menjadi satu situs besar.
01:29
That way you could listen to cool music
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Sehingga engkau dapat mendengarkan musik
01:31
while you pretend to look for a job
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sambil bersandiwara sedang mencari kerja
01:33
and you're really just chattin' with your pals.
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padahal hanya mengobrol dengan teman-temanmu.
01:35
(Laughter)
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(Tawa)
01:36
Heck, if I ran the Web, you could email dead people.
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Wah, jika aku mengelola situs, engkau dapat mengirim email kepada orang mati.
01:40
(Laughter)
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(Tawa)
01:42
They would not email you back
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Mereka tidak akan menanggapimu --
01:44
(Laughter) --
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(Tawa)
01:45
but you'd get an automated reply.
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namun engkau akan mendapat balasan otomatis,
01:47
(Laughter)
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(Tawa)
01:49
Their name in your inbox
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Nama mereka dalam kotak masukmu --
01:51
(Laughter) --
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(Tawa)
01:52
it's all you wanted anyway.
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toh, hanya ini yang kau harapkan.
01:54
And a message saying, "Hey, it's me. I miss you.
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Dan sebuah pesan, "Hey, ini aku. Aku rindu padamu.
01:57
(Laughter)
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(Tawa)
01:58
Listen, you'll see being dead is dandy.
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Dengarlah, menjadi orang mati itu indah.
02:01
Now you go back to raising kids and waging peace and craving candy."
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Kini kembalilah kau untuk membesarkan anak, mengobarkan perdamaian, dan mengidamkan permen."
02:05
If I designed the Internet, childhood.com would be a loop
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Jika aku merancang internet, childhood.com akan menjadi sebuah lingkaran
02:10
of a boy in an orchard, with a ski pole for a sword,
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dari anak kecil di kebun, memegang tongkat ski layaknya pedang,
02:15
trashcan lid for a shield, shouting, "I am the emperor of oranges.
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penutup tempat sampah layaknya tameng dan berteriak, "Akulah raja para jeruk.
02:18
I am the emperor of oranges. I am the emperor of oranges."
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Akulah raja para jeruk. Akulah raja para jeruk."
02:21
Now follow me, OK?
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Sekarang ikutlah aku, baik?
02:22
(Laughter)
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(Tawa)
02:23
Grandma.com would be a recipe for biscuits and spit-bath instructions.
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Grandma.com penuh dengan resep biskuit dan petunjuk mandi dalam sekejap.
02:26
One, two, three.
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Satu, dua, tiga.
02:28
That links with hotdiggitydog.com.
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Terhubung dengan hotdiggitydog.com.
02:30
That is my grandfather.
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Itulah kakekku.
02:32
They take you to gruff-ex-cop-on-his-fourth-marriage.dad.
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Dan membawamu ke "ayah berkelahi dengan mantan polisi pada pernikahan keempatnya".
02:34
He forms an attachment to
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Yang menampilkan lampiran ke
02:35
kind-of-ditzy-but-still-sends-ginger-snaps-for-Christmas.mom,
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"pelupa namun tetap mengirim kue jahe untuk Natal kepada ibu."
02:37
who downloads the boy in the orchard, the emperor of oranges,
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yang mengunduh anak itu di kebun, raja para jeruk,
02:41
who grows up to be me --
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yang tumbuh menjadi diriku --
02:44
the guy who usually goes too far.
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orang yang biasanya terlalu jauh.
02:46
So if I were emperor of the Internet,
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Jadi jika aku menjadi Raja internet,
02:49
I guess I'd still be mortal, huh?
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kurasa hidupku masih tidak abadi, kan?
02:52
But at that point, I would probably
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Namun pada saat itu, mungkin aku
02:54
already have the lowest possible mortgage
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telah memiliki kewajiban paling sedikit
02:58
and the most enlarged possible penis
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dan penis paling besar --
03:00
(Laughter) --
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(Tawa)
03:01
so I would outlaw spam on my first day in office.
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aku akan melenyapkan semua sampah internet pada hari pertamaku bekerja.
03:03
I wouldn't need it.
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Aku tak akan memerlukannya.
03:05
I'd be like some kind of Internet genius, and me,
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Aku akan menjadi pakar internet, dan aku,
03:07
I'd like to upgrade to deity and maybe just like that --
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aku ingin menjadi dewa dan mungkin hanya seperti itu saja --
03:11
pop! -- I'd go wireless.
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pop - aku masuk ke dalamnya.
03:14
(Laughter)
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(Tawa)
03:15
Huh? Maybe Google would hire this.
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Hah? Mungkin Google mau menerimanya.
03:17
I could zip through your servers and firewalls like a virus
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Aku dapat menyelinap ke server dan firewallmu seperti virus
03:19
until the World Wide Web is as wise, as wild and as organized
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hingga dunia internet menjadi sebijak, seliar, dan seteratur
03:23
as I think a modern-day miracle/oracle can get, but, ooh-eee,
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seperti yang dapat diramalkan untuk masa kini, namun, ooh
03:28
you want to bet just how whack and un-PC
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engkau tahu betapa buruk dan tidak nyatanya
03:32
your Mac or PC is going to be when I'm rocking
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komputermu saat aku menjalankan hal ini,
03:34
hot-shit-hot-shot-god.net?
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hot shot god.net?
03:36
I guess it's just like life.
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Aku rasa ini seperti kehidupan.
03:38
It is not a question of if you can --
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Ini bukan pertanyaan tentang apakah engkau mampu.
03:40
it's: do ya?
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Benar kan?
03:42
We can interfere with the interface.
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Kita dapat mengacak interfacenya.
03:44
We can make "You've got Hallelujah" the national anthem of cyberspace
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Kita dapat membuat "You've got Hallelujah" sebagai lagu kebangsaan dunia cyber
03:47
every lucky time we log on.
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setiap kali kita masuk.
03:49
You don't say a prayer.
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Engkau tidak mengucapkan doa.
03:51
You don't write a psalm.
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Engkau tidak menulis mazmur.
03:53
You don't chant an "om."
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Engkau tidak mengumandangkan syair.
03:55
You send one blessed email to whomever you're thinking of
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Engkau mengirim berkat melalui email kepada siapa saja yang kau pikirkan
03:59
at dah-da-la-dat-da-dah-da-la-dat.com.
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di dah da la dat da dah da la dat dot com.
04:05
Thank you, TED.
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Terima kasih, TED.
04:06
(Applause)
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(Tepuk tangan)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Rives - Performance poet, multimedia artistPerformance artist and storyteller Rives has been called "the first 2.0 poet," using images, video and technology to bring his words to life.
Why you should listen
Part poet, part storyteller, part philosopher, Rives is the co-host of TEDActive as well as a frequent TED speaker. On stage, his poems burst in many directions, exposing multiple layers and unexpected treats: childhood memories, grown-up humor, notions of love and lust, of what is lost forever and of what's still out there waiting to unfold. Chimborazo.
A regular on HBO's Def Poetry Jam, Rives also starred alongside model Bar Refaeli in the 2008 Bravo special Ironic Iconic America, touring the United States on a "roller coaster ride through the eye-popping panorama of American pop culture." Flat pages can't contain his storytelling, even when paper is his medium. The pop-up books he creates for children unfold with surprise: The Christmas Pop-Up Present expands to reveal moving parts, hidden areas and miniature booklets inside.
His latest project—the Museum of Four in the Morning—is an ode to a time that may well be part of a global conspiracy. In a good way.
Rives | Speaker | TED.com