TEDSalon 2006
Rives: If I controlled the Internet
Rivs kontroliše internet
Filmed:
Readability: 4.5
2,257,231 views
Koliko bi pesnika moglo da strpa "eBay" (Ibej), "Friendster" (Frendster) i Monster.com u trominutnu pesmu vrednu ovacija? Uživajte u Rivsovom jedinstvenom talentu.
Rives - Performance poet, multimedia artist
Performance artist and storyteller Rives has been called "the first 2.0 poet," using images, video and technology to bring his words to life. Full bio
Performance artist and storyteller Rives has been called "the first 2.0 poet," using images, video and technology to bring his words to life. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:26
I wrote this poem after hearing a pretty well known actress
0
1000
4000
Napisao sam ovu pesmu nakon što sam čuo vrlo poznatu glumicu
00:30
tell a very well known interviewer on television,
1
5000
3000
kako govori vrlo poznatom tv voditelju.
00:33
"I'm really getting into the Internet lately.
2
8000
2000
"Zaista me zanima internet u poslednje vreme.
00:35
I just wish it were more organized."
3
10000
2000
Samo bih volela da je organizovaniji."
00:37
So ...
4
12000
1000
Dakle -
00:38
(Laughter)
5
13000
2000
(smeh)
00:42
If I controlled the Internet,
6
17000
3000
da ja kontrolišem internet,
00:45
you could auction your broken heart on eBay.
7
20000
4000
mogli biste svoje slomljeno srce da prodate na "eBay"-u,
00:49
Take the money; go to Amazon;
8
24000
2000
uzmete novac, odete na "Amazon",
00:51
buy a phonebook for a country you've never been to -- call folks at random
9
26000
4000
kupite telefonski imenik zemlje u kojoj nikada niste bili, nasumično zovete ljude
00:55
until you find someone who flirts really well in a foreign language.
10
30000
3000
dok ne nađete nekog ko zaista dobro flertuje na stranom jeziku.
00:58
(Laughter)
11
33000
1000
(smeh)
00:59
If I were in charge of the Internet,
12
34000
2000
Da sam ja zadužen za interenet,
01:01
you could Mapquest your lover's mood swings.
13
36000
3000
imali biste mape za promene raspoloženja svog ljubavnika.
01:04
Hang left at cranky, right at preoccupied,
14
39000
4000
Skreni levo za džangrizavo, desno za zauzeto,
01:08
U-turn on silent treatment,
15
43000
2000
polukružno za tretman ćutanjem,
01:10
all the way back to tongue kissing and good lovin'.
16
45000
3000
skroz nazad za francuski poljubac i dobru ljubav,
01:13
You could navigate and understand every emotional intersection.
17
48000
3000
i mogli biste da upravljate i razumete svaku emocionalnu raskrsnicu.
01:16
Some days, I'm as shallow as a baking pan,
18
51000
3000
Nekim danima plitak sam kao pleh,
01:19
but I still stretch miles in all directions.
19
54000
2000
ali još uvek se protežem miljama u svim pravcima.
01:21
If I owned the Internet, Napster, Monster and Friendster.com
20
56000
6000
Da ja posedujem internet, "Napster", "Monster" i "Frendster.com"
01:27
would be one big website.
21
62000
2000
bili bi jedan veliki sajt.
01:29
That way you could listen to cool music
22
64000
2000
Tako biste mogli slušati super muziku
01:31
while you pretend to look for a job
23
66000
2000
dok se pretvarate da tražite posao
01:33
and you're really just chattin' with your pals.
24
68000
2000
a ustvari ćaskate sa svojim ortacima.
01:35
(Laughter)
25
70000
1000
(smeh)
01:36
Heck, if I ran the Web, you could email dead people.
26
71000
4000
Dođavola, da ja vodim internet, mogli biste da šaljete mejlove mrtvim ljudima.
01:40
(Laughter)
27
75000
2000
(smeh)
01:42
They would not email you back
28
77000
2000
Ne bi vam odgovorili -
01:44
(Laughter) --
29
79000
1000
(smeh)
01:45
but you'd get an automated reply.
30
80000
2000
ali dobili biste automatski odgovor.
01:47
(Laughter)
31
82000
2000
(smeh)
01:49
Their name in your inbox
32
84000
2000
Njihovo ime u vašem inboxu
01:51
(Laughter) --
33
86000
1000
(smeh)
01:52
it's all you wanted anyway.
34
87000
2000
je ionako sve što ste uopšte želeli.
01:54
And a message saying, "Hey, it's me. I miss you.
35
89000
3000
I poruku koja kaže, "Hej, ja sam. Nedostaješ mi.
01:57
(Laughter)
36
92000
1000
(smeh)
01:58
Listen, you'll see being dead is dandy.
37
93000
3000
Čuj, videćeš da je kicoški mrtav biti
02:01
Now you go back to raising kids and waging peace and craving candy."
38
96000
4000
ali nastavi decu odgajati, za mir se zalagati i za kolačima čeznuti."
02:05
If I designed the Internet, childhood.com would be a loop
39
100000
5000
Da ja dizajniram internet, "detinjstvo.com" bio bi krug
02:10
of a boy in an orchard, with a ski pole for a sword,
40
105000
5000
od dečaka u voćnjaku sa ski štapom umesto mača,
02:15
trashcan lid for a shield, shouting, "I am the emperor of oranges.
41
110000
3000
poklopcem od kante umesto štita, koji viče "Ja sam car pomorandži.
02:18
I am the emperor of oranges. I am the emperor of oranges."
42
113000
3000
Ja sam car pomorandži. Ja sam car pomorandži."
02:21
Now follow me, OK?
43
116000
1000
Pratite me sad, OK?
02:22
(Laughter)
44
117000
1000
(smeh)
02:23
Grandma.com would be a recipe for biscuits and spit-bath instructions.
45
118000
3000
"Baka.com" bio bi recept za keks i instrukcije za umivanje pljuvačkom.
02:26
One, two, three.
46
121000
2000
Jedan, dva, tri.
02:28
That links with hotdiggitydog.com.
47
123000
2000
To se povezuje sa hotdiggitydog.com.
02:30
That is my grandfather.
48
125000
2000
To je moj deda.
02:32
They take you to gruff-ex-cop-on-his-fourth-marriage.dad.
49
127000
2000
On vas vodi do krupnog-bivšeg-policajca-u-svom-četvrtom-braku.tate.
02:34
He forms an attachment to
50
129000
1000
On stvara vezu sa
02:35
kind-of-ditzy-but-still-sends-ginger-snaps-for-Christmas.mom,
51
130000
2000
pomalo-rasejanom-ali-ipak-šalje-kolačiće-za-božiš.mamom,
02:37
who downloads the boy in the orchard, the emperor of oranges,
52
132000
4000
koja "skida" dečaka iz voćnjaka, cara pomorandži,
02:41
who grows up to be me --
53
136000
3000
koji odrasta u mene -
02:44
the guy who usually goes too far.
54
139000
2000
momka koji obično pretera.
02:46
So if I were emperor of the Internet,
55
141000
3000
Dakle, da sam ja vladar interneta,
02:49
I guess I'd still be mortal, huh?
56
144000
3000
mislim da bih i dalje bio smrtan, ha?
02:52
But at that point, I would probably
57
147000
2000
Ali tada bih verovatno već
02:54
already have the lowest possible mortgage
58
149000
4000
imao najnižu moguću hipoteku
02:58
and the most enlarged possible penis
59
153000
2000
i najviše uvećan penis -
03:00
(Laughter) --
60
155000
1000
(smeh)
03:01
so I would outlaw spam on my first day in office.
61
156000
2000
i zabranio bih spamove svog prvog dana na poslu.
03:03
I wouldn't need it.
62
158000
2000
Ne bi mi trebali.
03:05
I'd be like some kind of Internet genius, and me,
63
160000
2000
Bio bih kao neki internet genije, a ja,
03:07
I'd like to upgrade to deity and maybe just like that --
64
162000
4000
ja bih voleo da se unapredim u božanstvo i možda tek tako -
03:11
pop! -- I'd go wireless.
65
166000
3000
puf - postao bih bežičan.
03:14
(Laughter)
66
169000
1000
(smeh)
03:15
Huh? Maybe Google would hire this.
67
170000
2000
Ha? Možda će Google da unajmi ovo.
03:17
I could zip through your servers and firewalls like a virus
68
172000
2000
Mogao bih da se provučem kroz vaše servere i fajervole poput virusa
03:19
until the World Wide Web is as wise, as wild and as organized
69
174000
4000
sve dok Svetska mreža ne postane mudra, divlja i organizovana
03:23
as I think a modern-day miracle/oracle can get, but, ooh-eee,
70
178000
5000
onako kako mislim da savremeno čudo/proročanstvo može da bude, ali eee,
03:28
you want to bet just how whack and un-PC
71
183000
4000
želite da se kladite koliko će lud i ne-PC
03:32
your Mac or PC is going to be when I'm rocking
72
187000
2000
vaš Mek ili PC biti kada zavladam ja,
03:34
hot-shit-hot-shot-god.net?
73
189000
2000
najveća faca bog.net?
03:36
I guess it's just like life.
74
191000
2000
Pretpostavljam da je to kao život.
03:38
It is not a question of if you can --
75
193000
2000
Nije pitanje da li možeš.
03:40
it's: do ya?
76
195000
2000
Već hoćeš li?
03:42
We can interfere with the interface.
77
197000
2000
Možemo da se mešamo sa interfejsom.
03:44
We can make "You've got Hallelujah" the national anthem of cyberspace
78
199000
3000
Možemo od "Imate Aleluja" napraviti himnu sajbersvemira
03:47
every lucky time we log on.
79
202000
2000
svaki put kad se ulogujemo.
03:49
You don't say a prayer.
80
204000
2000
Ne molite se.
03:51
You don't write a psalm.
81
206000
2000
Ne pišete psalm.
03:53
You don't chant an "om."
82
208000
2000
Ne pevate om.
03:55
You send one blessed email to whomever you're thinking of
83
210000
4000
Pošaljete jedan imejl sa blagoslovom svima kojih setite
03:59
at dah-da-la-dat-da-dah-da-la-dat.com.
84
214000
6000
na dah da la dat da dah da la dat dot com.
04:05
Thank you, TED.
85
220000
1000
Hvala ti, TED.
04:06
(Applause)
86
221000
3000
(aplauz)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Rives - Performance poet, multimedia artistPerformance artist and storyteller Rives has been called "the first 2.0 poet," using images, video and technology to bring his words to life.
Why you should listen
Part poet, part storyteller, part philosopher, Rives is the co-host of TEDActive as well as a frequent TED speaker. On stage, his poems burst in many directions, exposing multiple layers and unexpected treats: childhood memories, grown-up humor, notions of love and lust, of what is lost forever and of what's still out there waiting to unfold. Chimborazo.
A regular on HBO's Def Poetry Jam, Rives also starred alongside model Bar Refaeli in the 2008 Bravo special Ironic Iconic America, touring the United States on a "roller coaster ride through the eye-popping panorama of American pop culture." Flat pages can't contain his storytelling, even when paper is his medium. The pop-up books he creates for children unfold with surprise: The Christmas Pop-Up Present expands to reveal moving parts, hidden areas and miniature booklets inside.
His latest project—the Museum of Four in the Morning—is an ode to a time that may well be part of a global conspiracy. In a good way.
Rives | Speaker | TED.com