TEDSalon 2006
Rives: If I controlled the Internet
Rives nadzoruje internet
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Koliko pesnikov bi lahko spravilo eBay, Friendster in Monster.com v 3-minutno pesem vredno stoječih ovacij? Uživajte ob Rivesovem edinstvenem talentu.
Rives - Performance poet, multimedia artist
Performance artist and storyteller Rives has been called "the first 2.0 poet," using images, video and technology to bring his words to life. Full bio
Performance artist and storyteller Rives has been called "the first 2.0 poet," using images, video and technology to bring his words to life. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:26
I wrote this poem after hearing a pretty well known actress
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To pesem sem napisal potem, ko sem slišal precej znano igralko
00:30
tell a very well known interviewer on television,
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povedati zelo znanemu televizijskemu voditelju:
00:33
"I'm really getting into the Internet lately.
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"V zadnjem času sem se resnično začela navduševati nad internetom.
00:35
I just wish it were more organized."
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Želim si samo, da bi bil bolj organiziran."
00:37
So ...
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Torej ...
00:38
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
00:42
If I controlled the Internet,
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Če bi jaz nadziral internet,
00:45
you could auction your broken heart on eBay.
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bi lahko na eBay-u prodal svoje strto srce,
00:49
Take the money; go to Amazon;
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vzel denar, šel na Amazon in
00:51
buy a phonebook for a country you've never been to -- call folks at random
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kupil telefonski imenik države, kjer še nisi bil, naključno klical ljudi,
00:55
until you find someone who flirts really well in a foreign language.
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dokler ne bi našel nekoga, ki odlično flirta v tujem jeziku.
00:58
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
00:59
If I were in charge of the Internet,
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Če bi bil jaz zadolžen za internet,
01:01
you could Mapquest your lover's mood swings.
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bi lahko Mapquest-al razpoloženjska nihanja svojih ljubimcev.
01:04
Hang left at cranky, right at preoccupied,
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Ob razdražljivosti se drži leve, desne ob prezaposlenosti,
01:08
U-turn on silent treatment,
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ostro zavij ob tihih dnevih,
01:10
all the way back to tongue kissing and good lovin'.
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nazaj do strastnih poljubov in vročega ljubljenja.
01:13
You could navigate and understand every emotional intersection.
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Lahko bi navigirali in razumeli vsako čustveno križišče.
01:16
Some days, I'm as shallow as a baking pan,
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Kakšen dan sem plitev kot ponev,
01:19
but I still stretch miles in all directions.
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a se vseeno raztezam kilometre v vse smeri.
01:21
If I owned the Internet, Napster, Monster and Friendster.com
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Če bi bil lastnik interneta, bi bili Napster, Monster in Friendster.com
01:27
would be one big website.
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ena sama velika spletna stran.
01:29
That way you could listen to cool music
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Tako bi lahko poslušali super glasbo
01:31
while you pretend to look for a job
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medtem, ko bi se pretvarjali, da iščete službo,
01:33
and you're really just chattin' with your pals.
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v resnici pa bi samo klepetali s prijatelji.
01:35
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
01:36
Heck, if I ran the Web, you could email dead people.
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Hudiča, če bi jaz upravljal internet, bi lahko poslali email mrtvim.
01:40
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
01:42
They would not email you back
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Ne bi vam odgovorili ...
01:44
(Laughter) --
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(smeh)
01:45
but you'd get an automated reply.
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... a dobili bi samodejni odgovor.
01:47
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
01:49
Their name in your inbox
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Njihova imena med vašo prejeto pošto ...
01:51
(Laughter) --
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(smeh)
01:52
it's all you wanted anyway.
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... saj to je itak vse, kar ste si želeli.
01:54
And a message saying, "Hey, it's me. I miss you.
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In sporočilo: "Hej, jaz sem. Pogrešam te.
01:57
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
01:58
Listen, you'll see being dead is dandy.
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Boš videl, biti mrtev je super.
02:01
Now you go back to raising kids and waging peace and craving candy."
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Zdaj pa se vrni k vzgoji otrok, mirovnim prizadevanjem in hrepenenju po sladkarijah.
02:05
If I designed the Internet, childhood.com would be a loop
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Če bi jaz oblikoval internet, bi bilo otroštvo.com zanka
02:10
of a boy in an orchard, with a ski pole for a sword,
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dečka v sadovnjaku, s smučarsko palico namesto meča,
02:15
trashcan lid for a shield, shouting, "I am the emperor of oranges.
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pokrovom smetnjaka namesto ščita, vpijočega: "Jaz sem vladar pomaranč!
02:18
I am the emperor of oranges. I am the emperor of oranges."
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Jaz sem vladar pomaranč! Jaz sem vladar pomaranč!"
02:21
Now follow me, OK?
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Sledite mi, OK?
02:22
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
02:23
Grandma.com would be a recipe for biscuits and spit-bath instructions.
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Babica.com bi bil recept za piškote in inštrukcije friziranja s slino.
02:26
One, two, three.
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Ena, dva, tri.
02:28
That links with hotdiggitydog.com.
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Ta stran bi bila povezana na krščen-matiček.com.
02:30
That is my grandfather.
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To je moj dedek.
02:32
They take you to gruff-ex-cop-on-his-fourth-marriage.dad.
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S povezavo na četrtič-poročen-zadirčen-bivši-kifeljc.oče,
02:34
He forms an attachment to
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ki se navezuje na
02:35
kind-of-ditzy-but-still-sends-ginger-snaps-for-Christmas.mom,
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malce-prismojena-a-za-Božič-še-vedno-pošilja-ingverjeve-piškote.mami,
02:37
who downloads the boy in the orchard, the emperor of oranges,
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ki presnemava dečka v sadovnjaku, vladarja pomaranč,
02:41
who grows up to be me --
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ki zraste in postane jaz,
02:44
the guy who usually goes too far.
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tip, ki gre običajno predaleč.
02:46
So if I were emperor of the Internet,
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Torej, če bi bil bil vladar interneta,
02:49
I guess I'd still be mortal, huh?
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bi bil verjetno vseeno umrljiv, ne?
02:52
But at that point, I would probably
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A takrat bi verjetno že imel
02:54
already have the lowest possible mortgage
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najnižjo možno hipoteko
02:58
and the most enlarged possible penis
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in najbolj povečan penis, kar je možno ...
03:00
(Laughter) --
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(smeh)
03:01
so I would outlaw spam on my first day in office.
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zato bi že prvi dan v pisarni prepovedal spam.
03:03
I wouldn't need it.
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Ne bi ga potreboval.
03:05
I'd be like some kind of Internet genius, and me,
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Bil bi nekakšen internetni genij, in jaz ...
03:07
I'd like to upgrade to deity and maybe just like that --
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... rad bi se nadgradil v božanstvo in mogoče bi - takole
03:11
pop! -- I'd go wireless.
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pop - postal brezžičen.
03:14
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
03:15
Huh? Maybe Google would hire this.
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Mogoče bi me najel Google.
03:17
I could zip through your servers and firewalls like a virus
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Kot virus bi lahko švigal skozi vaše strežnike in požarne zide,
03:19
until the World Wide Web is as wise, as wild and as organized
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dokler WWW ne bi bil tako pameten, tako divji in tako organiziran
03:23
as I think a modern-day miracle/oracle can get, but, ooh-eee,
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kot je po moje lahko sodoben čudež/prerok, ampak, ooooooo,
03:28
you want to bet just how whack and un-PC
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bi radi stavili, kako zdelan in ne-PC
03:32
your Mac or PC is going to be when I'm rocking
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bo vaš Mac ali PC, ko bom glavni
03:34
hot-shit-hot-shot-god.net?
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blazno-blazen-pomembnež-bog.net?
03:36
I guess it's just like life.
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Po moje je tako, kot v življenju.
03:38
It is not a question of if you can --
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Ni vprašanje ali zmoreš,
03:40
it's: do ya?
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pač pa: Ali že?
03:42
We can interfere with the interface.
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Posegamo lahko v uporabniški vmesnik.
03:44
We can make "You've got Hallelujah" the national anthem of cyberspace
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"You've got Hallelujah" lahko proglasimo za državno himno kiberprostora
03:47
every lucky time we log on.
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vsakič, ko se srečno prijavimo.
03:49
You don't say a prayer.
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Ne moliš.
03:51
You don't write a psalm.
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Ne napišeš psalma.
03:53
You don't chant an "om."
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Ne mrmraš oooommmmm.
03:55
You send one blessed email to whomever you're thinking of
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Pač pa pošlješ blagodejen email komurkoli o katerem razmišljaš
03:59
at dah-da-la-dat-da-dah-da-la-dat.com.
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@ da da la dat da da da la dat.com.
04:05
Thank you, TED.
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Hvala, TED.
04:06
(Applause)
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(aplavz)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Rives - Performance poet, multimedia artistPerformance artist and storyteller Rives has been called "the first 2.0 poet," using images, video and technology to bring his words to life.
Why you should listen
Part poet, part storyteller, part philosopher, Rives is the co-host of TEDActive as well as a frequent TED speaker. On stage, his poems burst in many directions, exposing multiple layers and unexpected treats: childhood memories, grown-up humor, notions of love and lust, of what is lost forever and of what's still out there waiting to unfold. Chimborazo.
A regular on HBO's Def Poetry Jam, Rives also starred alongside model Bar Refaeli in the 2008 Bravo special Ironic Iconic America, touring the United States on a "roller coaster ride through the eye-popping panorama of American pop culture." Flat pages can't contain his storytelling, even when paper is his medium. The pop-up books he creates for children unfold with surprise: The Christmas Pop-Up Present expands to reveal moving parts, hidden areas and miniature booklets inside.
His latest project—the Museum of Four in the Morning—is an ode to a time that may well be part of a global conspiracy. In a good way.
Rives | Speaker | TED.com