Esha Alwani: What it's like to have Tourette's -- and how music gives me back control
이샤 알와니(Esha Alwani): 투렛 증후군을 앓는다는 것, 그리고 음악을 통해 되찾은 통제력
Esha Alwani's message to the world is simple: "Music is healing therapy, and we need to make a place for it in our lives." Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
what it would feel like
your left arm was continuously flapping,
were about to break,
a loud, high-pitched screech.
소리를 지르게 되는 상황이요.
at the young age of six,
증상들의 일부일 뿐입니다.
my life literally changed overnight.
제 삶은 하루아침에 바뀌었습니다.
see my friends or even eat out,
친구를 만나거나 외식을 할 수도 없었죠.
the attention of everyone in the room.
neuropsychologist my parents could find.
뉴욕으로 날라갔죠.
the easy remedy we had hoped for.
그 의사에겐 없었어요.
with an incurable neurological disorder,
신경질환이라는 진단을 내렸는데
an essential and valuable part
only made things worse.
that I couldn't move them.
움직일 수가 없었거든요.
and drink me as soup.
먹겠다고 위협했죠.
some sort of relief.
just ended up making things worse.
in the United States alone,
and mental illness
to treat these conditions
이런 병들의 치료가
a daily dose of music.
처방했다고 생각해 보세요.
my personal experience with music
on my neurological disorder.
말씀드리려고 해요.
is essentially a series
의지와 상관없이 움직이고
what it's like to have Tourette syndrome
설명할 가장 좋은 방법은
you're all very familiar with --
or drink water upside down,
거꾸로 물도 마셔 보지만
you can do about it
and the hiccups have taken their course.
저절로 멈출 때까지 말이죠.
after an attack of tics,
침실 바닥에 지쳐 쓰러져
would attempt to soothe me and herself
제 어머니는 진정을 위해
to soothe our aching hearts.
평화로운 음악을 틀어주시면,
of the drums to uplift us.
드럼 비트를 감상합니다.
our moods would be lighter,
기분도 가벼워집니다.
I became an addict of this newfound drug.
아주 빨리 중독되었습니다.
into my bouts of sadness and self-pity,
자기연민에 빠져있는 걸 알아차릴 때마다
and rhythms from each one of those keys
곧 저를 자유롭게 해주리란 것을
how much music was helping me.
도움이 되는지 잘 몰랐습니다.
it wasn't to impress anybody.
작곡을 하지 않았습니다.
the less my symptoms surfaced,
증상들은 더욱 잦아들었고,
these songs were soothing my symptoms.
진정시킨건지 궁금해졌습니다.
any other cases of medicinal music.
있는지도 알고싶었습니다.
a highly successful US congresswoman,
미국의 여성 국회의원인
and the ability to sing
music therapists to work with her.
그녀를 치료했습니다.
to sing her thoughts,
노래로 내뱉을 수 있도록 격려했습니다.
전달할 수 없었기 때문이죠.
to regain her speech.
다시 연설을 할 수 있었습니다.
our brains to release a natural painkiller
방출시킨다는걸 발견했습니다.
for a healthy nervous system
필수적인 물질이며,
breathing and pulse rate,
영향을 미칩니다.
our cortisol levels,
for neurological symptoms.
someone with a neurological disorder.
누군가를 알게 될 것입니다.
전달할 수 있도록 도와주세요.
and heal us from within.
내면을 치유하는 능력을 가지고 있다 것을요.
for the rest of my life.
이 병을 짊어지고 살아야 합니다.
excuse myself from my classroom,
주변에 양해를 구해야함을 뜻합니다.
can be extremely distracting.
매우 산만하게 할 수 있기 때문이죠.
when I wink my eyes involuntarily,
thinks I'm flirting with him,
제가 '작업'을 걸었다고 오해하는 경우가
"Sorry -- I wasn't trying to flirt."
꼬시려고 그런거 아니에요."라고 말해야 하죠.
and even just listen to music,
심지어 그냥 음악을 듣고만 있어도
in highly stressful situations,
매우 긴장되는 무대에
before my performance --
the tics take a back seat.
and composed my own music.
만들었던 것일지도 모릅니다.
it was the music that composed me.
저를 만들었다는 걸 깨달았습니다.
my mask off too soon
and then you were not
dragged it out
그랬어야 했는데
I lose a bit of myself I put it back on
가면을 다시 썼어
my own heart in two
계속 나를 꾸며냈어
to know the real me
I'm not loving you
널 사랑하지 않아
from me and my mask
떠나버렸지
I'm not loving you
널 사랑하지 않아
just like that
그냥 그렇게
it hurt more than it ever has before
이번이 좀 더 아픈 것 같아
was a little more
to know the real me
I'm not loving you
너를 사랑하지 않아
from me and my mask
떠나버렸지
I'm not loving you
너를 사랑하지 않아
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Esha Alwani - Singer-songwriterEsha Alwani's message to the world is simple: "Music is healing therapy, and we need to make a place for it in our lives."
Why you should listen
Esha Alwani's passion for singing, songwriting and performing started at a young age. It quickly gained priority in her life when she realized that music had the ability to help manage the symptoms of her neurological disorder, Tourette's syndrome. She shares a message of positivity, hope and perseverance to people in similar situations.
A singer-songwriter from the happy island of Aruba, Alwani wrote and recorded her first EP, Beautiful, with a desire to share her music and awareness of the healing effects of music. She quickly found herself in partnerships with the Autism Foundation of Aruba and the Tourette Association of America, and she appeared at the TAA annual conference in 2016 in Arlington, Virginia.
Soon after the release of her second EP, Dangerous, Alwani began performing as the opening act for international superstars on some of Aruba's biggest stages. From arena shows with audiences of 10,000 -- opening for artists like Alicia Keys and Maluma -- to private events with artists like Nicky Jam and companies like Hublot and Cartier. Alwani has also performed at two sold-out performances at the legendary Bluebird Café in Nashville, Tennessee.
Esha Alwani | Speaker | TED.com