TED2005
Anna Deavere Smith: Four American characters
Anna Deavere Smith的美國特質
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既是作家又是演員的Anna Deavere Smith，透過作者Studs Terkel，囚犯Paulette Jenkins，韓裔雜化店老闆和野牛騎士體認生活，摘錄至她的個人表演中 “上路吧：尋找美國人的特質。”
Anna Deavere Smith - Actor, playwright, social critic
Anna Deavere Smith's ground-breaking solo shows blur the lines between theater and journalism, using text from real-life encounters to create gripping portraits. Full bio
Anna Deavere Smith's ground-breaking solo shows blur the lines between theater and journalism, using text from real-life encounters to create gripping portraits. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:25
So my grandfather told me when I was a little girl,
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我還是個小女孩時我祖父告訴我，
00:27
"If you say a word often enough, it becomes you."
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"如果妳常常唸著同一句話，它會變成妳的一部分。"
00:30
And having grown up in a segregated city, Baltimore, Maryland,
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我在一個實行種族隔離政策的的城市，馬里蘭州巴爾的摩市長大
00:33
I sort of use that idea to go around America with a tape recorder --
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祖父的話啟發了我，我帶著錄音機，開始巡迴美國
00:36
thank God for technology --
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感謝科技的發達。
00:38
to interview people, thinking that if I walked in their words --
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我訪問了許多人，試著去感同身受（穿別人的鞋子走路），
00:41
which is also why I don't wear shoes when I perform --
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這正是為什麼我表演時不穿鞋，
00:43
if I walked in their words, that I could sort of absorb America.
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揣摩他們的感受，讓我能更了解真正的美國精神。
00:47
I was also inspired by Walt Whitman,
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我也受到Walt Whitman的啟發，
00:48
who wanted to absorb America and have it absorb him.
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他受美國精神影響，也影響著美國精神。
00:51
So these four characters are going to be from that work
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以下這四個角色是源自於
00:55
that I've been doing for many years now,
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我從進行多年的工作，
00:56
and well over, I don't know, a couple of thousand people
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已經超過，嗯，應該超過幾千人了，
00:59
I've interviewed.
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我訪問過的人。
01:00
Anybody out here old enough to know Studs Terkel, that old radio man?
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在座有哪位年紀夠長，還記得資深的廣播人Studs Terkel？
01:05
So I thought he would be the perfect person
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想要問美國歷史上的關鍵時刻
01:07
to go to to ask about a defining moment in American history.
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我認為他是最合適的人選。
01:11
You know, he was "born in 1912, the year the Titanic sank,
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他出生於1912年，鐵達尼號沉船的那一年，
01:15
greatest ship every built. Hits the tip of an iceberg,
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當時所建造最大的船，撞上了冰山的一角，
01:18
and bam, it went down. It went down and I came up. Wow, some century."
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蹦的一聲，沉入海中。船沉了，我出生了。哇，多偉大的世紀。
01:26
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
01:28
So this is his answer about a defining moment in American history.
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這是他對美國歷史上關鍵時刻的答案。
01:32
"Defining moment in American history, I don't think there's one;
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美國歷史的關鍵時刻，我認為沒有；
01:37
you can't say Hiroshima, that's a big one --
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就算是在廣島投下原子彈這樣的大事，
01:39
I can't think of any one moment I would say is a defining moment.
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我不認為有任何的時刻是所謂的關鍵時刻。
01:42
The gradual slippage -- 'slippage' is the word
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逐漸淪喪，淪喪這個字
01:45
used by the people in Watergate, moral slippage --
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是人們對水門事件的看法，道德淪喪，
01:48
it's a gradual kind of thing, combination of things.
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這是逐漸形成的，許多事情造成的。
01:50
You see, we also have the technology.
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你們都清楚的，我們雖然擁有科技的進步。
01:53
I say, less and less the human touch.
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我可以這樣說，人情味卻越來越少了。
01:56
"Oh, let me kind of tell you a funny little play bit.
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對了，告訴你一個有趣的小故事。
01:59
The Atlanta airport is a modern airport,
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亞特蘭大機場是一個現代化機場，
02:01
and they should leave the gate there.
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登機門的位置也很好。
02:02
These trains that take you out to a concourse and on to a destination.
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機場捷運能夠帶你往來於各個轉運站與機場間。
02:07
And these trains are smooth,
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捷運列車平穩，
02:09
and they're quiet and they're efficient.
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安靜，有效率的行駛。
02:12
And there's a voice on the train, you know the voice was a human voice.
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車廂裡有一種聲音，是由真人發聲的。
02:16
You see in the old days we had robots, robots imitated humans.
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過去是機器人模仿真人。
02:21
Now we have humans imitating robots.
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我們現在卻去模仿機器人。
02:26
So we got this voice on this train: Concourse One: Omaha, Lincoln.
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在捷運車廂裡會聽到這樣的廣播︰第一轉運站︰奧馬哈，林肯。
02:32
Concourse Two: Dallas, Fort Worth. Same voice.
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第二轉運站︰達拉斯，福特堡。相同的聲音。
02:35
Just as a train is about to go, a young couple rush in
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一輛列車正準備要駛離時，一對年輕夫婦衝了進去。
02:40
and they're just about to close the pneumatic doors.
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就在自動門正要關上的那一刻。
02:43
And that voice, without losing a beat, says,
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這個廣播的聲音，不疾不徐的說，
02:46
'Because of late entry, we're delayed 30 seconds.'
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因為有乘客遲到，我們將延遲30秒發車。
02:49
Just then, everybody's looking at this couple with hateful eyes
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那個時候，車上每人都用一種厭惡的眼神看著這對夫婦，
02:54
and the couple's going like this, you know, shrinking.
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那對夫妻就像這樣，縮在一起。
02:56
Well, I'd happened to have had a couple of drinks before boarding --
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剛好，我上車前喝了一點酒，
02:59
I do that to steel my nerves -- and so
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我喝酒是為了讓自己冷靜，所以
03:02
I imitate a train call, holding my hand on my --
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我模仿列車上的廣播，把手放在我的嘴邊—
03:05
'George Orwell, your time has come,' you see.
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"George Orwell，你的預言成真了耶。" 你看。
03:09
Well, some of you are laughing. Everybody laughs
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你們有些人在笑了。當我那樣說話時
03:11
when I say that, but not on this train. Silence.
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大家都在笑，但在列車上沒人笑。安靜無聲。
03:15
And so suddenly they're looking at me.
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突然所有人的目光都在我身上。
03:16
So here I am with the couple, the three of us
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我跟這一對夫婦，我們三個人
03:19
shrinking at the foot of Calvary about to be up, you know.
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想在腳下找個地洞鑽下去，你明白那樣的尷尬吧。
03:23
"Just then I see a baby, a little baby in the lap of a mother.
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那時後我看見一個嬰兒，躺在媽媽的腿上。
03:30
I know it's Hispanic because she's speaking Spanish to her companion.
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我知道她是西班牙人，因為她用西班牙語跟她的同伴聊天。
03:35
So I'm going to talk to the baby. So I say to the baby,
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我想跟嬰兒說話，我對著嬰兒說。
03:38
holding my hand over my mouth because my breath must be 100 proof,
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因為滿嘴酒臭，所以我用手遮著嘴巴
03:42
I say to the baby, 'Sir or Madam,
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對著嬰兒說，" 先生，或是女士，
03:46
what is your considered opinion of the human species?'
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你對人類的信念是什麼？"
03:51
And the baby looks, you know, the way babies look at you clearly,
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這個嬰兒看著，嗯，就是嬰兒想看清楚你的模樣，
03:53
starts laughing,
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開始笑，
03:54
starts busting out with this crazy little laugh.
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開始一陣莫名興奮的笑。
03:57
I say, 'Thank God for a human reaction, we haven't lost yet.'
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我心裡想著，"感謝上帝，讓我們沒有失去人類的純真。"
04:01
"But you see, the human touch, you see, it's disappearing.
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但是，人情味正逐漸消失。
04:03
You know, you see, you've got to question the official truth.
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你知道，你會對真相提出質疑。
04:06
You know the thing that was so great about Mark Twain --
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馬克‧吐溫很偉大，
04:09
you know we honor Mark Twain, but we don't read him.
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我們尊敬馬克‧吐溫，但是很少人讀他的作品。
04:13
We read 'Huck Finn,' of course, we read 'Huck Finn' of course.
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讀過哈克歷險記吧，當然，我們應該都讀過哈克歷險記。
04:16
I mean, Huck, of course, was tremendous.
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哈克耶，當然讀過，多麼了不起啊。
04:18
Remember that great scene on the raft, remember what Huck did?
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記得在竹筏上的那一幕嗎，記得哈克做了什麼嗎？
04:21
You see, here's Huck; he's an illiterate kid; he's had no schooling,
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這就是哈克，一個不識字的孩子，沒有上過學，
04:24
but there's something in him.
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但是他有某些很棒的特質。
04:26
And the official truth, the truth was, the law was,
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事實是，以法律的角度，
04:29
that a black man was a property, was a thing, you see.
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黑人是一項財產，是一件商品，你明白嗎。
04:32
And Huck gets on the raft with a property named Jim, a slave, see.
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哈克與黑奴吉姆一起乘上竹筏，一個奴隸，瞧。
04:36
And he hears that Jim is going to go and take his wife and kids
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他聽到吉姆要去帶他的妻子和孩子們
04:40
and steal them from the woman who owns them,
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從他們的女主人那裡偷偷將他們帶走，
04:42
and Huck says, 'Ooh, oh my God, ooh, ooh --
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哈克說，"不，老天爺，不，不，
04:46
that woman, that woman never did anybody any harm.
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那個女人，那個女人從未傷害過任何人。
04:49
Ooh, he's going to steal; he's going to steal;
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哇，他將要偷偷把他們帶走，偷偷的
04:50
he's going to do a terrible thing.'
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他將會做一件可怕的事情。"
04:52
Just then, two slavers caught up, guys chasing slaves, looking for Jim.
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就在這個時候，兩個黑奴划船追上來了，一群追捕黑奴的人，他們正在追捕吉姆。
04:57
'Anybody up on that raft with you?' Huck says, 'Yeah.'
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"有誰跟你一起搭乘那艘竹筏嗎？" 哈克回答，" 有。"
05:06
'Is he black or white?' 'White.' And they go off.
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"是黑人還是白人？" "白人。" 他們就離開了。
05:13
And Huck said, 'Oh my God, oh my God, I lied, I lied, ooh,
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哈克說:"我的天啊！我的天啊！我說謊了！我說謊了！哇!
05:17
I did a terrible thing, did a terrible thing -- why do I feel so good?'
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我做了一件可怕事，我做了一件可怕事—可是為什麼我卻覺得好開心？"
05:22
"But it's the goodness of Huck, that stuff that Huck's been made of,
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這就是哈克的善良，這就是哈克的本性，
05:24
you see, all been buried; it's all been buried.
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現在呢，都消失了，完全都消失無蹤了。
05:26
So the human touch, you see, it's disappearing.
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人情味，你很清楚，它正逐漸的消失。
05:29
So you ask about a defining moment --
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所以你問到關鍵時刻。
05:31
ain't no defining moment in American history for me.
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對我來說在美國的歷史上是沒有關鍵時刻的。
05:33
It's an accretion of moments that add up to where we are now,
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歷史不斷的累積，造就了我們今日的現狀，
05:36
where trivia becomes news.
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新聞是由瑣事所組成的。
05:38
And more and more, less and less awareness of the pain of the other.
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越來越多社會新聞告訴我們，大家對他人的痛苦越來越視而不見。
05:44
Huh. You know, I don't know if you could use this or not,
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嗯，不知道這是否也發生在你的生活裡，
05:48
but I was quoting Wright Morris, a writer from Nebraska, who says,
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Wright Morris，一位內布拉斯加的作家，他說，
05:52
'We're more and more into communications
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通訊設備越來越發達，
05:55
and less and less into communication.'
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溝通卻是越來越少。
06:00
Okay, kids, I got to scram, got to go see my cardiologist."
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孩子，我得滾了，去看我的心臟科醫生。
06:05
And that's Studs Terkel.
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這是Studs Terkel的笑話。
06:06
(Applause)
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(掌聲)
06:12
So, talk about risk taking. I'm going to do somebody that nobody likes.
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接下來，談談冒險。我要模仿大家都討厭的人。
06:19
You know, most actors want to do characters that are likeable --
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大多數演員都想要演大家喜歡的角色，
06:24
well, not always, but the notion, especially at a conference like this,
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也不總是如此，但是，特別是在這樣的演講場合裡，
06:27
I like to inspire people.
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我喜歡激勵大家。
06:29
But since this was called "risk taking,"
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但是既然是冒險，
06:31
I'm doing somebody who I never do, because she's so unlikeable
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我要扮演從來沒飾演過的角色，因為她真的很討人厭，
06:35
that one person actually came backstage
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有一次一位觀眾到後台來
06:36
and told me to take her out of the show she was in.
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要我把刪掉她這個角色。
06:40
And I'm doing her because I think we think of risk,
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我之所以模仿她是因，
06:43
at a conference like this, as a good thing.
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在這裡探討冒險，我覺得是件好事。
06:45
But there are certain other connotations to the word "risk,"
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但冒險這個詞還有些其他涵義，
06:48
and the same thing about the word "nature." What is nature?
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天性這個詞也有其他涵義。天性真正的意義是什麼？
06:51
Maxine Greene, who's a wonderful philosopher
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Maxine Greene，一位偉大的哲學家，
06:54
who's as old as Studs, and was the head of a philosophy --
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跟Studs是同時期的人，是偉大
06:58
great, big philosophy kind of an organization --
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哲學體系組織中的翹楚。
07:02
I went to her and asked her what are the two things
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我向她請教，問她有哪兩件事
07:04
that she doesn't know, that she still wants to know.
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是她不清楚，到現在仍然在探索的。
07:07
And she said, "Well, personally, I still feel like I have to curtsey
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她說，"嗯，就我來說，當我遇見我的大學校長時
07:09
when I see the president of my university.
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我仍然會覺得我應該行屈膝禮。
07:12
And I still feel as though I've got to get coffee
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我仍然覺得我應該拿咖啡
07:14
for my male colleagues, even though I've outlived most of them."
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給我的男同事，即使我比他們年長許多。"
07:16
And she said, "And then intellectually,
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她接著說，"理性的來看，
07:19
I don't know enough about the negative imagination.
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我不是很明白這些負面的想像力。
07:22
And September 11th certainly taught us
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911事件當然讓我們了解到
07:24
that that's a whole area we don't investigate."
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有許多領域我們尚未深入研究。"
07:26
So this piece is about a negative imagination.
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接下來的表演談的是負面的想像力。
07:29
It raises questions about what nature is, what Mother Nature is,
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我們可以更深入探究：本質是什麼？大自然是什麼？
07:33
and about what a risk can be.
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風險是什麼？
07:35
And I got this in the Maryland Correctional Institute for Women.
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我在馬利蘭婦女懲戒所中找到了答案。
07:37
Everything I do is word for word off a tape.
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以下的模仿是按照錄音的內容，一字不漏。
07:40
And I title things because I think people speak in organic poems,
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我下了個標題，有時人們說話即興成詩，
07:44
and this is called "A Mirror to Her Mouth."
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我命名為"她嘴邊的鏡子"。
07:45
And this is an inmate named Paulette Jenkins.
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這是囚犯Paulette Jenkins的故事。
07:56
"I began to learn how to cover it up,
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一開始我想要掩蓋它，
08:00
because I didn't want nobody to know that this was happening in my home.
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我不要別人知道我家發生了這樣的事。
08:05
I want everybody to think we were a normal family.
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我要大家認為我們是個正常的家庭。
08:08
I mean we had all the materialistic things,
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我是說我們不愁吃穿，
08:11
but that didn't make my children pain any less;
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但這並沒有讓我的孩子免於痛苦，
08:14
that didn't make their fears subside.
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這並沒有讓我的孩子遠離恐懼。
08:17
I ran out of excuses about how we got black eyes
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我再也沒有理由來解釋，我們的黑眼圈
08:20
and busted lips and bruises. I didn't had no more excuses.
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破了的嘴角，及身上的傷痕是怎麼來的。我再也掰不出理由了。
08:24
And he beat me too. But that didn't change the fact
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他也打過我。但那沒有改變
08:27
that it was a nightmare for my family; it was a nightmare.
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對我家人來說這是場惡夢的事實，一場惡夢。
08:31
And I failed them dramatically,
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我讓他們失望透了，
08:33
because I allowed it to go on and on and on.
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因為我一而再，再而三的讓它發生。
08:37
"But the night that Myesha got killed --
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Myesha被殺死的那一個晚上，
08:39
and the intensity just grew and grew and grew,
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詭異的氛圍一直累積，一直累積，
08:43
until one night we came home from getting drugs,
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直到那個晚上，我們買好了藥回到家，
08:48
and he got angry with Myesha, and he started beating her,
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他對Myesha非常生氣，開始揍她，
08:51
and he put her in a bathtub. Oh, he would use a belt.
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把她丟進浴缸裡。噢，他用皮帶抽打她。
08:54
He had a belt because he had this warped perverted thing
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他用皮帶打她，因為發生變態亂倫的事，
08:57
that Myesha was having sex with her little brother
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Myesha與她的弟弟發生性關係，
08:59
and they was fondling each other -- that would be his reason.
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他們彼此撫摸對方，這就是他打死Myesha的原因。
09:01
I'm just talking about the particular night that she died.
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我說的是她死的那個詭異的夜晚。
09:05
And so he put her in the bathtub,
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他把她放進浴缸裡，
09:08
and I was in the bedroom with the baby.
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我和嬰兒在臥室裡。
09:09
"And four months before this happened, four months before Myesha died,
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四個月前，就是Myesha死之前的四個月，
09:13
I thought I could really fix this man. So I had a baby by him -- insane --
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我以為我有辦法應付這個男人。所以我懷了他的小孩，瘋狂吧。
09:19
thinking that if I gave him his own kid, he would leave mine alone.
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我以為如果把他的親生孩子交給他，他就會放過我其他的孩子了。
09:22
And it didn't work, didn't work.
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可是沒有用，一點用都沒。
09:26
And I ended up with three children, Houston, Myesha and Dominic,
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我有三個孩子，Houston，Myesha和Dominic，
09:30
who was four months old when I came to jail.
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Dominic四個月大時，我進了監獄。
09:33
"And I was in the bedroom. Like I said, he had her in the bathroom
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當時我人在臥室。就像我剛剛說的，他把她帶到浴室，
09:35
and he -- he -- every time he hit her, she would fall.
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他，他，每次他打她，她就摔倒。
09:40
And she would hit her head on the tub. It happened continuously, repeatedly.
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她的頭撞到了浴缸。持續一直重覆，一直重覆。
09:45
I could hear it, but I dared not to move. I didn't move.
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我聽到撞擊的聲音，但是我不敢動。我沒去阻止。
09:49
I didn't even go and see what was happening.
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我甚至沒去看看到底發生了什麼事。
09:51
I just sat there and listened.
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我只是坐在那裡靜靜的聽。
09:54
And then he put her in the hallway.
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然後他把她放在走廊上。
09:59
He told her, just set there. And so she set there for about four or five hours.
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他告訴她，待在那裡。她在那裡待了四、五個小時。
10:06
And then he told her, get up.
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然後他叫她站起來。
10:09
And when she got up, she says she couldn't see.
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當她站起來時，她說她看不見了。
10:12
Her face was bruised. She had a black eye.
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她的臉被打傷了。眼睛被打到黑青。
10:17
All around her head was just swollen;
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整個頭都腫起來了；
10:19
her head was about two sizes of its own size.
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她的頭大概是原來的兩倍大。
10:25
I told him, 'Let her go to sleep.' He let her go to sleep.
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我告訴他，讓她去睡吧。他讓她去睡了。
10:32
"The next morning she was dead.
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第二天早上她死了。
10:37
He went in to check on her for school, and he got very excited.
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他到她的房裡看看她上學了沒，他非常的驚訝。
10:40
He says, 'She won't breathe.'
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他說，她沒呼吸了。
10:42
I knew immediately that she was dead.
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我知道她死了。
10:46
I didn't even want to accept the fact that she was dead, so I went in
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我無法接受她已經死了的事實，所以我跑進去
10:49
and I put a mirror to her mouth --
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把一面鏡子放到她的嘴邊，
10:51
there was no thing, nothing, coming out of her mouth.
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沒有呼吸，她的嘴裡沒有任何氣息了。
10:55
He said, he said, he said,
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他激動的說著，他說，他說
10:56
'We can't, we can't let nobody find out about this.'
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我們不能，我們不能讓任何人發現這件事。
10:58
He say, 'You've got to help me.' I agree. I agree.
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他說，你必須幫我。我同意了。我竟然同意了。
11:02
"I mean, I've been keeping a secret for years and years and years,
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我想，我必須一直保守這個祕密，一直保守下去，
11:05
so it just seemed like second hand to me, just to keep on keeping it a secret.
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我覺得好像是聽別人的新聞一樣，這樣我才能保守這個祕密。
11:09
So we went to the mall and we told a police that we had, like, lost her,
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我們去了商場，告訴警察，我們找不到女兒，
11:15
that she was missing.
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她失蹤了。
11:18
We told a security guard that she was missing,
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我們告訴一名警衛她失蹤了；
11:24
though she wasn't missing.
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她並沒有失蹤。
11:26
And we told the security guard what we had put on her
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我們告訴警衛她身上穿的衣服，
11:28
and we went home and we dressed her in exactly the same thing
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回到家後，完全按照那個樣子幫她把衣服穿上，
11:31
that we had told the security guard that we had put on her.
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按照我們對警衛說的樣子。
11:35
"And then we got the baby and my other child,
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然後抱著嬰兒，帶著另一個孩子，
11:40
and we drove out to, like, I-95.
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開車上了，好像是，95號州際公路。
11:47
I was so petrified and so numb,
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我非常害怕，非常麻木，
11:50
all I could look was in the rear-view mirror.
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我一直死盯著後照鏡看。
11:55
And he just laid her right on the shoulder of the highway.
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他把她丟棄在高速公路的路肩。
12:05
My own child, I let that happen to."
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我的孩子，我讓這一切發生。
12:15
So that's an investigation of the negative imagination.
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那是消極的想像力的訪談。
12:20
(Applause)
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(掌聲)
12:25
When I started this project
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當我開始這項
12:27
called "On the Road: A Search For an American Character"
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啟程計畫︰探索美國人的特質
12:29
with my tape recorder, I thought that I was going to go around America
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帶著我的錄音機，我想要巡迴全美
12:31
and find it in all its aspects -- bull riders, cowboys, pig farmers,
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透過野牛騎士，牛仔，養豬人家，樂儀隊，啦啦隊，來探索
12:36
drum majorettes -- but I sort of got tripped on race relations,
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美國人的特質，但是種族議題牽絆著我，
12:40
because my first big show was a show about a race riot.
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我第一場重要的演出就是關於種族暴亂。
12:43
And so I went to both -- two race riots,
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因此我親臨兩次種族暴亂現場，
12:46
one of which was the Los Angeles riot. And this next piece is from that.
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其中之一是洛杉磯暴動。以下這段模仿的靈感來源就是這場種族暴亂。
12:49
Because this is what I would say
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這就是為什麼我說
12:51
I've learned the most about race relations, from this piece.
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從這個事件我學到了許多有關與種族族群的關係。
12:55
It's a kind of an aria, I would say, and in many tapes that I have.
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這有點像是獨白，在很多我做的錄音訪談裡都有獨白。
12:59
Everybody knows that the Los Angeles riots happened
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每人都知道洛杉磯暴動之所以發生
13:02
because four cops beat up a black man named Rodney King.
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是因為四個警察痛毆一位名叫Rodney King的黑人。
13:05
It was captured on videotape -- technology --
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它被錄影下來—拜科技之賜，
13:07
and it was played all over the world.
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並且傳遍了全世界。
13:09
Everybody thought the four cops would go to jail.
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大家都認為這四個警察鐵定會坐牢。
13:10
They did not, so there were riots.
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但是沒有，所以發生了暴動。
13:13
And what a lot of people forget, is there was a second trial,
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許多人都忘了，第二次審訊，
13:15
ordered by George Bush, Sr.
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是由老喬治‧布希，先生所下令的。
13:17
And that trial came back with two cops going to jail
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這次的判決，讓兩個警察坐牢
13:22
and two cops declared innocent. I was at that trial.
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另外兩個警察無罪釋放。那次的審判我也在場。
13:25
And I mean, the people just danced in the streets
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人們在街道上跳舞，
13:27
because they were afraid there was going to be another riot.
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因為他們害怕會引起另一次暴動。
13:29
Explosion of joy that this verdict had come back this way.
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這次判決的結果令人興喜若狂。
13:32
So there was a community that didn't -- the Korean-Americans,
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有一個族群並不開心，韓裔美國人，
13:36
whose stores had been burned to the ground.
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許多韓國人的商店被大火燒毀。
13:38
And so this woman, Mrs. Young-Soon Han,
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這名婦女，Young-Soon Han女士，
13:40
I suppose will have taught me the most that I have learned about race.
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讓我真正深刻體驗到種族族群的問題。
13:44
And she asks also a question that Studs talks about:
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她也問了一個Studs也問過的疑問︰
13:47
this notion of the "official truth," to question the "official truth."
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官方事實，我們應該質疑所謂的官方事實。
13:50
So what she's questioning here, she's taking a chance
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她發出這樣的疑問，利用這次的機會
13:52
and questioning what justice is in society.
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對所謂的社會上的公平正義提出質疑。
13:55
And this is called, "Swallowing the Bitterness."
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這是"不得不接受的現實"。
13:59
"I used to believe America was the best.
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以前我相信美國是最好的。
14:04
I watched in Korea many luxurious Hollywood lifestyle movie.
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我在韓國看了許多生活奢華舒適的好萊塢電影。
14:12
I never saw any poor man, any black.
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從沒看過任何窮人，黑人。
14:17
Until 1992, I used to believe America was the best -- I still do;
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直到1992，我還是相信美國是最好的—我現在依然相信，
14:21
I don't deny that because I am a victim.
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我不會因為自己是個受害者就否定美國的好。
14:25
But at the end of '92, when we were in such turmoil,
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92年年底，在這樣的動亂裡，
14:30
and having all the financial problems, and all the mental problems,
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面臨金融問題，心理煎熬，
14:34
I began to really realize that Koreans
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我開始真正的意識到韓國人
14:38
are completely left out of this society and we are nothing.
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完全被這個社會所遺忘，我們什麼也不是。
14:45
Why? Why do we have to be left out?
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為什麼？為什麼我們必須被遺忘？
14:48
We didn't qualify for medical treatment, no food stamp, no GR,
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我們沒有資格享有藥物治療，沒有食物卷，沒有政府糧食配給，
14:54
no welfare, anything. Many African-Americans who never work
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沒有社會福利等等。許多非裔美國人從來沒有工作過
15:01
got minimum amount of money to survive.
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卻可以領到補助金過活。
15:05
We didn't get any because we have a car and a house.
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我們什麼都沒有，因為我們有車子、有房子。
15:13
And we are high taxpayer. Where do I find justice?
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我們繳的是最高的稅率。公平正義在哪裡？
15:24
"OK. OK? OK. OK.
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好。好。好。好。
15:31
Many African-Americans probably think that they won by the trial.
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許多非裔美國人或許會認為他們在審判中獲得勝利。
15:35
I was sitting here watching them the morning after the verdict,
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宣判後的隔天早晨，我坐在這裡看著他們，
15:38
and all the day they were having a party, they celebrated,
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整天都在派對，慶祝，
15:42
all of South Central, all the churches. And they say,
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整個洛杉磯中南區所有的教堂。他們說，
15:45
'Well, finally justice has been done in this society.'
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嗯，社會的公平正義最終還是實現了。
15:51
Well, what about victims' rights?
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嗯，那受害者的權利呢？
15:54
They got their rights by destroying innocent Korean merchants.
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他們伸張了他們的權利卻傷害了無辜的韓國商人。
16:07
They have a lot of respect, as I do, for Dr. Martin King.
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他們非常的推崇Martin King博士，我也是。
16:14
He is the only model for black community; I don't care Jesse Jackson.
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他是黑人社會最好的模範；Jesse Jackson不算在內。
16:21
He is the model of non-violence, non-violence --
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他是非暴力行為，非暴力運動的典範—
16:25
and they would all like to be in his spirit.
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大家都深受他的精神感召。
16:30
"But what about 1992? They destroyed innocent people.
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那1992年呢？他們傷害了無辜的人。
16:37
And I wonder if that is really justice
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透過這樣的手段伸張權利，
16:41
for them, to get their rights in that way.
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我懷疑對他們真的認為那是公平正義嗎？
16:48
I was swallowing the bitterness, sitting here alone and watching them.
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我把痛苦往肚裡吞，孤伶伶的坐在這裡看著他們。
16:57
They became so hilarious, but I was happy for them.
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他們如此的興高采烈，我也為他們高興。
17:04
I was glad for them. At least they got something back, OK.
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我替他們感到高興。至少他們爭取到了某些正義，好吧。
17:09
Let's just forget about Korean victims and other victims
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讓我們忘記那些被他們傷害的韓國人
17:16
who were destroyed by them.
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和其他的受害者。
17:21
They fought for their rights for over two centuries,
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他們為了爭取權利已經奮鬥超過兩個世紀了，
17:30
and maybe because they sacrifice other minorities,
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或許因為他們犧牲了其他少數民族，
17:33
Hispanic, Asian, we would suffer more in the mainstream.
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西班牙人，亞洲人，所以我們受到更多的挑戰。
17:38
That's why I understand;
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那就是我為什麼理解，
17:39
that's why I have a mixed feeling about the verdict.
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那就是我為什麼對這樣的判決有矛盾的感覺。
17:42
"But I wish that, I wish that, I wish that
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但是我真的，真的，真的希望
17:47
I could be part of the enjoyment.
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我能夠分享他們的喜悅。
17:50
I wish that I could live together with black people.
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我希望我能夠跟黑人一起生活。
17:57
But after the riot, it's too much difference.
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但是在暴動之後，一切大不相同。
18:07
The fire is still there. How do you say it? [Unclear].
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那把怒火仍在燃燒。那個字怎麼說？
18:14
Igniting, igniting, igniting fire. Igniting fire.
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燃燒，燃燒，燃燒起來，燃燒起來。
18:22
It's still there; it can burst out anytime."
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怒火仍在那裡；大火隨時都可能竄起來。
18:34
Mrs. Young-Soon Han.
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Young-Soon Han女士。
18:36
(Applause)
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(掌聲)
18:44
The other reason that I don't wear shoes
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另一個我不穿鞋的原因是
18:48
is just in case I really feel like I have to cuddle up
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萬一我真的得去擁抱某人
18:51
and get into the feet of somebody,
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設身處地以他的觀點看事情，
18:53
walking really in somebody else's shoes.
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真心的去感同身受。
18:55
And I told you that in -- you know, I didn't give you the year,
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在，嗯，我沒說是哪一年，
18:58
but in '79 I thought that I was going to go around
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在1979年我巡迴的時候
19:01
and find bull riders and pig farmers and people like that,
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遇見了野牛騎士和養豬人家，
19:03
and I got sidetracked on race relations.
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當時我把焦點轉到種族關係上。
19:06
Finally, I did find a bull rider, two years ago.
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在兩年前，我終於找到了野牛騎士。
19:09
And I've been going to the rodeos with him, and we've bonded.
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我跟他一起去騎野牛比賽，現在我們是哥兒們了。
19:12
And he's the lead in an op-ed I did about the Republican Convention.
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我在共和黨大會專欄寫了很多有關他的事。
19:17
He's a Republican -- I won't say anything about my party affiliation, but anyway --
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他是共和黨— 我不會告訴我是哪一黨的，嗯，
19:22
so this is my dear, dear Brent Williams,
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我超級喜歡的Brent Williams，
19:26
and this is on toughness,
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我要談的是堅韌，
19:27
in case anybody needs to know about being tough
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如果你需要了解對工作抱持
19:30
for the work that you do. I think there's a real lesson in this.
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堅毅的態度。我認為Brent有值得學習的地方。
19:33
And this is called "Toughness."
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這一段叫"堅毅不拔"。
19:36
"Well, I'm an optimist. I mean basically I'm an optimist.
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嗯，我是樂天派。骨子裡我是樂觀主義者。
19:41
I mean, you know, I mean, it's like my wife, Jolene,
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我是說，嗯，我是說，就像我太太，Jolene，
19:43
her family's always saying,
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她家的人總是說，
19:45
you know, you ever think he's just a born loser?
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嗯，你不覺得他是扶不起的阿斗嗎？
19:47
It seems like he has so much bad luck, you know.
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他總是那麼倒楣，你看。
19:49
But then when that bull stepped on my kidney, you know,
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當那頭野牛踩過我的腎臟，
19:51
I didn't lose my kidney -- I could have lost my kidney,
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我的腎還在—原本我的腎可能不保，
19:53
I kept my kidney, so I don't think I'm a born loser.
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可是我保住了我的腎，所以我不認為我是倒楣鬼。
19:55
I think that's good luck.
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我有夠幸運的。
19:56
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
19:58
"And, I mean, funny things like this happen.
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我是說，發生這樣的事還蠻有意思的。
20:00
I was in a doctor's office last CAT scan,
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上次我在醫生的辦公室做電腦掃描，
20:04
and there was a Reader's Digest, October 2002.
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有一本2002年10月份的讀者文摘。
20:07
It was like, 'seven ways to get lucky.' And it says
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有一篇好像是，讓你好運的七種方法。內容是說
20:10
if you want to get lucky,
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如果你想要好運，
20:11
you know, you've got to be around positive people.
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嗯，你身邊的人必須是積極正向的。
20:13
I mean, like even when I told my wife that you want to come out here
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我是說，當我告訴我太太妳想來這裡
20:17
and talk to me, she's like, 'She's just talking;
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訪問我，她說，她只是說說罷了，
20:19
she's just being nice to you. She's not going to do that.'
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她只是客氣。她不會來這裡的。
20:21
"And then you called me up and you said you wanted to come out here
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然後妳打電話給我，告訴我說妳要來
20:23
and interview me and she went and looked you up on the Internet.
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訪問我，結果她上網去查妳是何方神聖。
20:25
She said, 'Look who she is.
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她說，嘿！知道她是誰嗎。
20:27
You're not even going to be able to answer her questions.'
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你哪能回答她的問題啊。
20:29
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
20:33
And she was saying you're going to make me look like an idiot
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她說妳會讓我看起來像個白痴
20:35
because I've never been to college,
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因為我沒有上過大學，
20:36
and I wouldn't be talking professional or anything.
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不論是專業或是其他的議題我都插不上嘴。
20:38
I said, 'Well look, the woman talked to me for four hours.
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我說，你看，這個女人竟然一口氣跟我聊了4 個小時。
20:40
You know, if I wasn't talking -- you know,
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假如我都插不上嘴，哪裡可能啊，
20:42
like, you know, she wanted me to talk,
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就好像是，她真的想要和我聊聊，
20:43
I don't think she would even come out here.'
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我當初還不相信她真的會來這裡。
20:48
"Confidence? Well, I think I ride
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信心嗎？嗯，我騎在牛背上時
20:51
more out of determination than confidence.
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我的決心更勝於信心。
20:54
I mean, confidence is like, you know,
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我是說，信心就像是，嗯，
20:55
you've been on that bull before; you know you can ride him.
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在你騎上那頭野牛，在知道你能夠騎上牠之前。
20:57
I mean, confidence is kind of like being cocky, but in a good way.
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我是說，信心有點像是自大，不過是好的自大。
21:01
But determination, you know, it's like just, you know, 'Fuck the form,
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但是決心，嗯，決心比較像是，嗯，"去他的規矩，
21:04
get the horn.'
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抓住牛角再說。"
21:06
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
21:10
That's Tuff Hedeman, in the movie '8 Seconds.'
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那是Tuff Hedeman，在電影《8秒出擊》裡的台詞。
21:12
I mean, like, Pat O'Mealey always said when I was a boy,
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我是說，像，當我還是個孩子的時，Pat O'Mealey總是說，
21:14
he say, 'You know, you got more try than any kid I ever seen.'
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他說，嗯，你是我看過的孩子中最勇於嘗試的。
21:17
And try and determination is the same thing.
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嘗試與決心指的是同一件事。
21:19
Determination is, like, you're going to hang on that bull,
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決心就像是，你死抓著野牛不放，
21:21
even if you're riding upside down.
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即使你在牛背上已經七葷八素了。
21:23
Determination's like, you're going to ride
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決心就像是，你一直騎著
21:25
till your head hits the back of the dirt.
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直到你摔下來頭撞到地為止。
21:28
"Freedom? It would have to be the rodeo.
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狂放嗎？ 騎野牛比賽當然很狂放。
21:32
"Beauty? I don't think I know what beauty is.
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優雅嗎？我不認為我可以解釋什麼是優雅。
21:37
Well, you know, I guess that'd have to be the rodeo too.
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嗯，我猜這騎野牛比賽也很優雅吧。
21:39
I mean, look how we are, the roughy family,
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我是說，瞧瞧我們，一家人都很粗獷，
21:40
palling around and shaking hands and wrestling around me.
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從上場，握手到開始與野牛拼博。
21:43
It's like, you know, racking up our credit cards on entry fees and gas.
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像是，嗯，用信用卡去刷入場券和加油費用。
21:46
We ride together, we, you know, we, we eat together
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我們一起騎野牛，我們，嗯，我們，我們吃在一起
21:49
and we sleep together.
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睡在一起。
21:50
I mean, I can't even imagine what it's going to be like
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我是說，我甚至無法想像我最後一次
21:53
the last day I rodeo. I mean, I'll be alright.
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騎野牛比賽會是怎麼樣。我是說，我一定行的。
21:55
I mean, I have my ranch and everything,
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我是說，我有農場，我什麼都有了，
21:56
but I actually don't even want to think the day that comes.
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說實話我一點也不想去想我死的那一天。
21:59
I mean, I guess it just be like --
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我是說，我猜這就有點像是，
22:01
I guess it be like the day my brother died.
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有點像是我哥哥去逝的那一天。
22:05
"Toughness? Well, we was in West Jordan, Utah, and this bull
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堅強嗎？嗯，我們在西喬丹，猶他州，
22:10
shoved my face right through the metal shoots in a --
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有顆子彈劃過了我的臉，
22:13
you know, busted my face all up and had to go to the hospital.
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當然，我臉都開花了，必須去醫院。
22:16
And they had to sew me up and straighten my nose out.
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他們必須幫我把裂開的皮膚縫起來並且幫我把鼻子弄正。
22:18
And I had to go and ride in the rodeo that night,
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因為我必須參加晚上的騎野牛比賽，
22:20
so I didn't want them to put me under anesthesia,
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因此我沒有讓他們幫我上麻醉，
22:23
or whatever you call it. And so they sewed my face up.
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這樣說沒錯吧。他們幫我把臉上的傷口縫好。
22:26
And then they had to straighten out my nose,
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然後他們幫我把鼻子弄正，
22:28
and they took these rods and shoved them up my nose
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他們拿這些棒子，向上戳進的鼻子裡
22:31
and went up through my brains
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穿過我的腦袋，
22:33
and felt like it was coming out the top of my head,
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感覺就像是要穿過我頭頂似的，
22:35
and everybody said that it should have killed me,
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每人都說我死定了，
22:37
but it didn't, because I guess I have a high tolerance for pain.
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但是我好好的，我想這是因為我很能夠忍受疼痛。
22:41
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
22:44
But the good thing was, once they shoved those rods up there
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有件好事是，當他們在我鼻子裡向上推那些棒子
22:47
and straightened my nose out, I could breathe,
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把我的鼻子弄直了，我就可以順暢呼吸了，
22:49
and I hadn't been able to breathe
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在高中騎野牛比賽弄斷鼻子後
22:51
since I broke my nose in the high school rodeo."
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我呼吸就沒順暢過。
22:54
Thank you.
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謝謝
22:56
(Applause)
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(掌聲)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Anna Deavere Smith - Actor, playwright, social criticAnna Deavere Smith's ground-breaking solo shows blur the lines between theater and journalism, using text from real-life encounters to create gripping portraits.
Why you should listen
Hailed by Newsweek as "the most exciting individual in American theater," Anna Deavere Smith uses solo performance as a public medium to explore issues of race, identity and community in America. Her grandfather once told her, "Say a word often enough, and it becomes you."
Inspired by this and Walt Whitman's idea "to absorb America," Deavere Smith began interviewing people (more than 2,000 now) across the country some 20 years ago. Without props, sets or costumes, she translates those encounters into profound performances, each drawing verbatim from the original recorded interview. She has an uncanny ability to inhabit the characters -- or rather the people -- she's representing onstage, regardless of their race, gender or age. And while her approach to cultural commentary is now widely imitated, she remains the master of the form. Her play, Let Me Down Easy, premiered this year at the Long Wharf Theater.
Deavere Smith is perhaps best known for her examination of race relations, having written and performed Fires in the Mirror, a raw view of those affected by the Crown Heights riots of 1991, and Twilight: Los Angeles, which tackled the 1992 Los Angeles riots. Along the way, she's earned two Obies, a MacArthur "genius" grant, and several Tony nominations, while also teaching at Stanford and NYU, and roles on such shows as The West Wing and HBO's Life Support. Her most recent book is Letters to a Young Artist: Straight Up Advice on Making a Life in the Arts, and she is the founding director of the Institute on the Arts and Civic Dialogue, a group that brings together artists to make works about social change.
Anna Deavere Smith | Speaker | TED.com