TEDxIndianaUniversity
Euna Lee: What I learned as a prisoner in North Korea
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In March 2009, North Korean soldiers captured journalist Euna Lee and her colleague Laura Ling while they were shooting a documentary on the border with China. The courts sentenced them to 12 years of hard labor, but American diplomats eventually negotiated their release. In this surprising, deeply human talk, Lee shares her experience living as the enemy in a detention center for 140 days -- and the tiny gestures of humanity from her guards that sustained her.
Euna Lee - Journalist
Euna Lee strives to be a voice for the voiceless and a window for those with no access to outside information. Full bio
Euna Lee strives to be a voice for the voiceless and a window for those with no access to outside information. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
I recently read about
what the young generation of workers want
what the young generation of workers want
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in Harvard Business Review.
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One thing that stuck out to me
was: don't just talk about impact,
was: don't just talk about impact,
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but make an impact.
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I'm a little bit older than you,
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maybe much older than you,
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but this is exactly the same goal
that I had when I was in college.
that I had when I was in college.
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I wanted to make my own impact
for those who live under injustice;
for those who live under injustice;
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it's the reason that I became
a documentary journalist,
a documentary journalist,
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the reason I became
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a prisoner in North Korea for 140 days.
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It was March 17, 2009.
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It is St. Patrick's Day for all of you,
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but it was the day
that turned my life upside down.
that turned my life upside down.
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My team and I were making a documentary
about North Korean refugees
about North Korean refugees
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living below human life in China.
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We were at the border.
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It was our last day of filming.
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There was no wire fence
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or bars
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or sign to show that it is the border,
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but this is a place that a lot
of North Korean defectors use
of North Korean defectors use
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as an escape route.
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It was still winter,
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and the river was frozen.
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When we were in the middle
of the frozen river,
of the frozen river,
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we were filming about
the condition of the cold weather
the condition of the cold weather
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and the environment
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that North Koreans had to deal with
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when they seek their freedom.
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And suddenly, one
of my team members shouted,
of my team members shouted,
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"Soldiers!"
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So I looked back,
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and there were two small soldiers
in green uniforms with rifles,
in green uniforms with rifles,
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chasing after us.
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We all ran as fast as we could.
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I prayed that, please
don't let them shoot my head.
don't let them shoot my head.
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And I was thinking that,
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if my feet are on Chinese soil,
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I'll be safe.
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And I made it to Chinese soil.
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Then I saw my colleague
Laura Ling fall on her knees.
Laura Ling fall on her knees.
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I didn't know what to do
at that short moment,
at that short moment,
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but I knew that I could not
leave her alone there
leave her alone there
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when she said,
"Euna, I can't feel my legs."
"Euna, I can't feel my legs."
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In a flash, we were surrounded
by these two Korean soldiers.
by these two Korean soldiers.
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They were not much bigger than us,
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but they were determined
to take us to their army base.
to take us to their army base.
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I begged and yelled for any kind of help,
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hoping that someone
would show up from China.
would show up from China.
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Here I was, being stubborn
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towards a trained soldier with a gun.
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I looked at his eyes.
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He was just a boy.
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At that moment,
he raised his rifle to hit me,
he raised his rifle to hit me,
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but I saw that he was hesitating.
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His eyes were shaking,
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and his rifle was still up in the air.
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So I shouted at him,
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"OK, OK, I'll walk with you."
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And I got up.
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When we arrived at their army base,
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my head was spinning
with these worst-case scenarios,
with these worst-case scenarios,
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and my colleague's
statement wasn't helping.
statement wasn't helping.
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She said, "We are the enemy."
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She was right: we were the enemy.
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And I was supposed to be frightened, too.
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But I kept having these odd experiences.
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This time, an officer brought me his coat
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to keep me warm,
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because I lost my coat on the frozen river
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while battling with one of these soldiers.
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I will tell you what I mean
by these odd experiences.
by these odd experiences.
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I grew up in South Korea.
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To us, North Korea was always the enemy,
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even before I was born.
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South and North have been
under armistice for 63 years,
under armistice for 63 years,
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since the end of the Korean War.
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And growing up in the South
in the '80s and '90s,
in the '80s and '90s,
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we were taught propaganda
about North Korea.
about North Korea.
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And we heard so many graphic stories,
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such as, a little young boy
being brutally killed
being brutally killed
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by North Korean spies
just because he said,
just because he said,
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"I don't like communists."
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Or, I watched this cartoon series
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about a young South Korean boy
defeating these fat, big, red pig,
defeating these fat, big, red pig,
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which represented the North Koreans'
first leader at the time.
first leader at the time.
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And the effect of hearing
these horrible stories over and over
these horrible stories over and over
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instilled one word in a young mind:
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"enemy."
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And I think at some point,
I dehumanized them,
I dehumanized them,
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and the people of North Korea
became equated
became equated
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with the North Korean government.
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Now, back to my detention.
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It was the second day
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of being in a cell.
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I had not slept
since I was out at the border.
since I was out at the border.
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This young guard came to my cell
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and offered me this small boiled egg
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and said, "This will give you
strength to keep going."
strength to keep going."
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Do you know what it is like,
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receiving a small kindness
in the enemy's hand?
in the enemy's hand?
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Whenever they were kind to me,
I thought the worst case
I thought the worst case
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was waiting for me after the kindness.
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One officer noticed my nervousness.
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He said, "Did you think
we were all these red pigs?"
we were all these red pigs?"
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referring to the cartoon
that I just showed you.
that I just showed you.
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Every day was like a psychological battle.
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The interrogator had me sit at a table
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six days a week
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and had me writing down
about my journey, my work,
about my journey, my work,
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over and over until I wrote down
the confession that they wanted to hear.
the confession that they wanted to hear.
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After about three months of detention,
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the North Korean court sentenced me
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to 12 years in a labor camp.
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So I was just sitting in my room
to be transferred.
to be transferred.
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At that time, I really had
nothing else to do,
nothing else to do,
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so I paid attention
to these two female guards
to these two female guards
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and listened to what
they were talking about.
they were talking about.
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Guard A was older,
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and she studied English.
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She seemed like she came
from an affluent family.
from an affluent family.
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She often showed up
with these colorful dresses,
with these colorful dresses,
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and then loved to show off.
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And Guard B was the younger one,
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and she was a really good singer.
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She loved to sing Celine Dion's
"My Heart Will Go On" --
"My Heart Will Go On" --
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sometimes too much.
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She knew just how
to torture me without knowing.
to torture me without knowing.
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(Laughter)
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And this girl spent a lot of time
in the morning to put on makeup,
in the morning to put on makeup,
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like you can see in any young girl's life.
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And they loved to watch
this Chinese drama,
this Chinese drama,
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a better quality production.
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I remember Guard B said,
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"I can no longer watch our TV shows
after watching this."
after watching this."
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She got scolded
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for degrading her own country's
produced TV shows.
produced TV shows.
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Guard B had more
of a free mind than Guard A,
of a free mind than Guard A,
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and she often got scolded by Guard A
whenever she expressed herself.
whenever she expressed herself.
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One day, they invited
all these female colleagues --
all these female colleagues --
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I don't know where they came from --
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to where I was held,
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and they invited me
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to their guard room
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and asked
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if one-night stands
really happen in the US.
really happen in the US.
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(Laughter)
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This is the country where
young couples are not even allowed
young couples are not even allowed
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to hold hands in public.
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I had no idea where they
had gotten this information,
had gotten this information,
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but they were shy and giggly
even before I said anything.
even before I said anything.
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I think we all forgot
that I was their prisoner,
that I was their prisoner,
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and it was like going back
to my high school classroom again.
to my high school classroom again.
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And I learned that these girls also
grew up watching a similar cartoon,
grew up watching a similar cartoon,
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but just propaganda towards
South Korea and the US.
South Korea and the US.
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I started to understand where
these people's anger was coming from.
these people's anger was coming from.
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If these girls grew up
learning that we are enemies,
learning that we are enemies,
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it was just natural
that they would hate us
that they would hate us
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just as I feared them.
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But at that moment, we were all just girls
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who shared the same interests,
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beyond our ideologies that separated us.
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I shared these stories with my boss
at Current TV at the time
at Current TV at the time
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after I came home.
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His first reaction was,
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"Euna, have you heard
of Stockholm Syndrome?"
of Stockholm Syndrome?"
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Yes, and I clearly remember
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the feeling of fear
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and being threatened,
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and tension rising up
between me and the interrogator
between me and the interrogator
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when we talked about politics.
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There definitely was a wall
that we couldn't climb over.
that we couldn't climb over.
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But we were able to see
each other as human beings
each other as human beings
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when we talked about family,
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everyday life,
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the importance of the future
for our children.
for our children.
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It was about a month before I came home.
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I got really sick.
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Guard B stopped by my room to say goodbye,
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because she was leaving
the detention center.
the detention center.
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She made sure that no one watched us,
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no one heard us,
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and quietly said,
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"I hope you get better
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and go back to your family soon."
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It is these people --
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the officer who brought me his coat,
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the guard who offered me a boiled egg,
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these female guards who asked me
about dating life in the US --
about dating life in the US --
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they are the ones
that I remember of North Korea:
that I remember of North Korea:
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humans just like us.
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North Koreans and I were not
ambassadors of our countries,
ambassadors of our countries,
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but I believe that we were representing
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the human race.
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Now I'm back home and back to my life.
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The memory of these people
has blurred as time has passed.
has blurred as time has passed.
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And I'm in this place
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where I read and hear
about North Korea provoking the US.
about North Korea provoking the US.
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I realized how easy it is
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to see them as an enemy again.
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But I have to keep reminding myself
that when I was over there,
that when I was over there,
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I was able to see humanity
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over hatred
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in my enemy's eyes.
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Thank you.
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(Applause)
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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Euna Lee - JournalistEuna Lee strives to be a voice for the voiceless and a window for those with no access to outside information.
Why you should listen
A seasoned journalist with more than years of experience, Euna Lee is a television executive producer for Voice of America's Korean Service (VOA). Prior to VOA, she worked for Fusion media, AJ+ and Al Jazeera TV networks.
Lee’s name became widely known after she was captured by the North Korean regime while covering a human trafficking story for Current TV, a cable network co-founded by former Vice President Al Gore. She wrote a memoir, The World is Bigger Now, about her experience while detained in North Korea for 140 days.
Lee has received various awards for her fearless work, including McGill Medal by University of Georgia and Glamour magazine's Women of the Year Award in 2009. At VOA, she strives to be a voice for the voiceless and a window for those with no access to outside information. Born and raised in South Korea, Lee holds a master’s degree in journalism from Columbia University.
Euna Lee | Speaker | TED.com