Veerle Provoost: Do kids think of sperm donors as family?
ورلی پرووست: آیا بچهها اهداء کنندگان اسپرم را عضوی از خانواده میدانند؟
Veerle Provoost studies genetic and social parenthood in the context of donor conception. Full bio
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about the sperm donation?
اهدای اسپرم بگوییم؟
to as "biological fathers,"
«پدران بیولوژیکی» شناخته میشوند،
be using the word "father?"
about the concept of parenthood.
درباره پدران و مادران بودهام.
about what I learned
با شما سخن خواهم گفت
و فرزندان یاد گرفتهام.
what matters most in a family,
چه چیزی در خانواده بیش از همه اهمیت دارد،
looks a little different.
کمی متفاوت به نظر میرسد.
of dealing with tough questions.
با مسائل دشوار را به شما نشان خواهم داد.
the parents' uncertainties.
به شما نشان خواهم داد.
at Ghent University Hospital,
درمان ناباروری بودند با استفاده از
at which we conducted interviews.
در آنها مصاحبه را انجام دادیم.
did not have good-quality sperm,
needed to find sperm elsewhere.
به دنبال اسپرم بگردند را در نظر گرقتیم.
like parenthood and family.
خانواده و پدران و مادران را شرح میدهند.
philosophical questions
سوالات انتزاعی و فلسفی را
as possible to the interview,
مفهوم اندکی را وارد مصاحبه کنم،
if it were an apple tree?
سیب بود چه شکلی میشد؟
for everyone who, in their view,
را برای هرکسی که از نظرشان
and hang it wherever they wanted.
که خواستند آن را آویزان کنند.
with a parent or a sibling.
پدران و مادران یا اقوام شروع کردند.
started mentioning the donor.
بچهها با اهدا کننده شروع نکرد.
به دنیا آمدنشان پرسیدم.
into the family?"
تو از کجا آمدی توی خانواده؟»
who have spare seeds.
که دانههای اضافی دارند.
mentioning the donor,
اهدا کننده به میان میآوردند،
using their own words.
خودشان سوال میپرسیدم.
for the friendly man with the seeds,
مرد مهربانی باشد که دانه داشت،
up there with the others.
because my family would not be here,
خانواده من اصلا وجود نداشت،
constructed family tales --
خانوادگی داشتند--
گاوها را باردار میکند.
with family narratives.
آنها با روایت خانوادگی.
who made books --
چند کتاب درست کرده بودند --
throughout the treatment.
آنها در طول درمان بود.
parking tickets in there.
را هم در کتاب گذاشته بودند.
خانوادهتان برای فرزندتان.
and how deeply loved their child was.
عمیق آنها به فرزندشان بود.
that these children are doing fine.
که این بچهها حالشان خوب است.
more problems than other kids.
to justify their decisions
میخواستند تصمیم خود را
تعریف میکردند توجیه کنند.
would understand their reasons
فرزندانشان متوجه دلایل آنها
that their children might disapprove
که فرزندشان آنها را قبول نکند
دگرجنسگرا هنجارنه زندگی میکنیم
of one mom, one dad
پسر نوجوان برایتان بگویم.
but not part of our study.
آمده بود اما جزء تحقیق ما نبود.
with his father,
the parents in our study feared.
در تحقیق ما از آن وحشت داشتند.
and they made up.
و با هم آشتی کردند.
that is most interesting.
with the lack of a genetic link.
نبود رابطه ژنتیکی نداشت.
در این سن انجام میدهند.
is a little different.
what's best for their child.
برای فرزندشان بهترین است انجام دهند.
long before they even were parents.
آنکه حتی پدر شوند به وجود میآید.
to the counselor,
بی کم و کاست انجام دهند.
the advice they were given.
را هنوز به خاطر دارند.
not unless he asks,
مگر آنکه بپرسد،
to children's questions.
«نه، از گاو به دست میآید،»
and she's made in the same way.
که او هم همین طور درست شده است.
I just go and ask her."
what they had in mind,
که آنها در نظر داشتند،
it is to be an open-communication family.
در خانواده رابطه وجود داشته باشد.
we gather evidence first.
ابتدا مدرک جمعآوری میکنیم.
what this pill is doing
که قرص چه کار میکند
that is theoretically sound,
که از نظر تئوری صحیح هستند
that there is evidence for --
مدرکی برای آن وجود دارد --
improves patients' lives.
بیماران واقعا بهبود یافته است.
would now like to offer you a paradox:
این تناقض را به شما ارائه کند:
که از توصیه پیروی نکنید.
to the warmth we found in those families.
مشاهده کردیم را زیر سوال نمیبرم.
and the trip to the farmer?
که جوابگوی نیاز آنها است،
as members of families,
از شما میخواهم به یاد داشته باشید،
are warm relationships.
روابط گرم و صمیمی است.
professionals to create those.
we can do with some advice.
از کمی توصیه هم استفاده کنیم.
that works for your family.
که به درد خانواده شما میخورد.
because you live your family life.
چون شمایید که در خانودهتان زندگی میکنید.
and your creativity,
خود ایمان داشته باشید،
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Veerle Provoost - BioethicistVeerle Provoost studies genetic and social parenthood in the context of donor conception.
Why you should listen
Veerle Provoost is a professor at the Bioethics Institute Ghent of Ghent University and a member of the Network on Ethics of Families. For her current research she coordinates a team of researchers who work on a study about genetic and social parenthood in the context of donor conception.
Using empirical research methods and Socratic conversation techniques, Provoost studies how professionals and ordinary people reason about health and how they make decisions in health-related contexts. In her courses on empirical research methods for ethics and bioethics, she teaches students how to look beyond mere experiences or general attitudes and to explore the principles and values that guide people's reasoning and decision-making. Her research shows that patients may bring their own sets of principles when making medical decisions, principles that may be very different from what medical staff anticipated and may feature around moral elements that may completely escape the attention of ethicists. For one, the moral reasoning of everyday people is centered more around relationships than around the principles that are at the core of scholarly bioethics.
In her talk TEDxGhent talk, she explains how we can gain valuable insights from families of children conceived with donor sperm and their views about what a family really is. These alternative families teach us what matters most in the decisions we all make for our children, whether or not they are genetically related to us. The parents and children she studied created their own family stories (about how their families were made) in highly diverse but very creative ways. However, some parents thought that they should strictly follow the advice of experts in their communication with their children. Because of that, they discounted their own competence. Based on her research experience, Provoost warns us for the negative effects of problematizing these families. Because no matter what a family looks like, or how it is made, parents should believe in their abilities and their creativity. As they know their families best, they are the real experts in how to find the best way to tell their own family story to their own child.
Veerle Provoost | Speaker | TED.com