ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Veerle Provoost - Bioethicist
Veerle Provoost studies genetic and social parenthood in the context of donor conception.

Why you should listen

Veerle Provoost is a professor at the Bioethics Institute Ghent of Ghent University and a member of the Network on Ethics of Families. For her current research she coordinates a team of researchers who work on a study about genetic and social parenthood in the context of donor conception.

Using empirical research methods and Socratic conversation techniques, Provoost studies how professionals and ordinary people reason about health and how they make decisions in health-related contexts. In her courses on empirical research methods for ethics and bioethics, she teaches students how to look beyond mere experiences or general attitudes and to explore the principles and values that guide people's reasoning and decision-making. Her research shows that patients may bring their own sets of principles when making medical decisions, principles that may be very different from what medical staff anticipated and may feature around moral elements that may completely escape the attention of ethicists. For one, the moral reasoning of everyday people is centered more around relationships than around the principles that are at the core of scholarly bioethics.

In her talk TEDxGhent talk, she explains how we can gain valuable insights from families of children conceived with donor sperm and their views about what a family really is. These alternative families teach us what matters most in the decisions we all make for our children, whether or not they are genetically related to us. The parents and children she studied created their own family stories (about how their families were made) in highly diverse but very creative ways. However, some parents thought that they should strictly follow the advice of experts in their communication with their children. Because of that, they discounted their own competence. Based on her research experience, Provoost warns us for the negative effects of problematizing these families. Because no matter what a family looks like, or how it is made, parents should believe in their abilities and their creativity. As they know their families best, they are the real experts in how to find the best way to tell their own family story to their own child.

More profile about the speaker
Veerle Provoost | Speaker | TED.com
TEDxGhent

Veerle Provoost: Do kids think of sperm donors as family?

Veerle Provoost: 細紋仔認唔認為精子捐贈者係家庭嘅一員?

Filmed:
1,144,738 views

我哋應該點定義阿爸、阿媽——或者一個家庭?生命倫理學家 Veerle Provoost 喺非傳統嘅家庭嘅範圍下探索呢啲問題,呢啲家庭不外乎同收養、再婚、代孕媽媽同精子捐贈有關。佢分享咗幾個家庭創造嘅家庭故仔嘅故事。
- Bioethicist
Veerle Provoost studies genetic and social parenthood in the context of donor conception. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:12
What is a parent父母?
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乜嘢係父母?
00:15
What is a parent父母?
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阿爸,阿媽又係乜嘢?
00:19
It's not an easy容易 question個問題.
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呢個問題唔簡單
00:21
Today今日 we have adoption採用,
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今日,我哋有領養
00:24
stepfamilies再婚家庭,
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再婚家庭
00:25
surrogate代理 mothers母親.
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同代孕媽媽
00:27
Many好多 parents父母 face塊面 tough艱難 questions個問題
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好多父母都面臨著難題
00:31
and tough艱難 decisions決定.
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同艱難嘅選擇
00:33
Shall we tell our child孩子
about the sperm精子 donation捐贈?
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講唔講畀個细路知
精子捐贈呢件事?
00:39
If so, when?
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如果講, 幾時講?
00:41
What words的話 to use?
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點講?
00:43
Sperm精子 donors捐助者 are often經常 referred
to as "biological生物 fathers老竇,"
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精子捐贈人通常被稱為「親身阿爸」
00:49
but should we really
be using使用 the word "father老竇?"
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但係我哋應唔應該用「阿爸」呢個詞?
00:53
As a philosopher哲學家 and social社會 scientist科學家,
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身為一個哲學家同社會科學家
00:56
I have been studying研究 these questions個問題
about the concept概念 of parenthood為人父母.
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我研究父母身份呢個問題
01:01
But today今日, I will talk to you
about what I learned
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今日,我想同大家講下
01:04
from talking講嘢 to parents父母 and children孩子.
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我同啲父母同細路
傾偈學到嘅嘢
01:07
I will show顯示 you that they know
what matters個問題 most in a family家庭,
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佢哋知道個屋企裡邊咩最緊要
01:11
even though雖然 their佢哋 family家庭
looks睇黎 a little different不同.
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就算佢哋同一般家庭有啲唔同
01:15
I will show顯示 you their佢哋 creative創造性 ways方式
of dealing交易 with tough艱難 questions個問題.
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我會講下佢哋點有創意咁處理難題
01:21
But I will also show顯示 you
the parents'父母 ' uncertainties不塙定性.
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亦會講下呢啲父母嘅不安
01:27
We interviewed採訪 couples夫婦
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我哋採訪過幾對
喺根特大學附屬醫院
01:28
who received收到 fertility肥力 treatment治療
at Ghent根特 University大學 Hospital醫院,
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接受不孕治療
01:33
using使用 sperm精子 from a donor.
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通過精子捐贈而受孕嘅夫婦
01:35
In this treatment治療 timeline時間表,
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我哋喺呢個治療嘅
時間線上嘅兩個點
01:36
you can see two pointsD
at which we conducted進行 interviews採訪.
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(治療同之後 7-10 年)做採訪
01:40
We included包括 heterosexual異性戀 couples夫婦,
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我哋包括咗因男方不育嚟尋治嘅
01:44
where the man for some reason原因
did not have good-quality質素好 sperm精子,
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異性戀夫婦
01:48
and lesbian女同 couples夫婦 who obviously顯然
needed需要 to find sperm精子 elsewhere第二度.
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同需要精子捐贈嘅女同性戀夫婦
01:54
We also included包括 children孩子.
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我哋亦包括佐啲細路
01:58
I wanted to know
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我之前想知
02:00
how those children孩子 define定義 concepts概念
like parenthood為人父母 and family家庭.
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啲細路點定義父母同家庭
02:06
In fact事實, that is what I asked問吓 them,
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事實上,我有問佢哋呢個問題
02:10
only not in that way.
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不過用咗唔同嘅問法
02:13
I drew提請 an apple蘋果 tree instead相反.
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我畫咗一棵蘋果樹
02:17
This way, I could ask問吓 abstract抽象,
philosophical哲學 questions個問題
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然後以一種唔容易離題嘅方式
02:20
in a way that did not make them run運行 off.
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問佢哋一啲抽象嘅、哲學性嘅問題
02:25
So as you can see,
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大家喺度睇到
02:27
the apple蘋果 tree is empty.
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呢棵蘋果樹係空嘅
02:29
And that illustrates my research研究 approach方法.
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呢個就係我嘅研究方法
02:32
By designing設計 techniques技術 like this,
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咁樣
02:34
I can bring as little meaning意義 and content內容
as possible可能 to the interview面試,
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我可以盡量減少我講嘅嘢
02:40
because I want to hear聽到 that from them.
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而將重點放喺佢哋講嘅嘢
02:44
I asked問吓 them:
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我問佢哋:
02:46
What would your family家庭 look like
if it were an apple蘋果 tree?
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如果你嘅家庭係一顆蘋果樹
佢會係咩樣?
02:50
And they could take a paper apple蘋果
for everyone個個都 who, in their佢哋 view视图,
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佢哋就係代表
02:54
was a member成員 of the family家庭,
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家庭成員嘅紙蘋果寫上個名
02:56
write a name名字 on it
and hang it wherever無論 they wanted.
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想挂喺樹上嘅邊度就掛嗰度
02:59
And I would ask問吓 questions個問題.
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然後我再問問題,多數細路
03:02
Most children孩子 started初時
with a parent父母 or a sibling兄弟.
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會從爸爸媽媽或者兄弟姊妹度講起
03:05
One started初時 with "Boxer拳擊手,"
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有個細路從 「拳師」講起
03:08
the dead dog of his grandparents祖父母.
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佢係個細路嘅阿爺屋企死咗嘅狗仔
03:11
At this pointD, none of the children孩子
started初時 mentioning the donor.
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嗰時,冇一個細路提及精子捐贈人
03:16
So, I asked問吓 them about their佢哋 birth出生 story故事.
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我問佢哋出世嘅故仔嗰時
03:21
I said, "Before you were born出生,
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我話:「喺你出世之前,
03:23
it was just your mom亞媽 and dad老竇,
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個屋企就得你嘅爸爸、媽媽,
03:25
or mom亞媽 and mommy亞媽.
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或者媽媽同媽咪。你可唔可以
03:27
Can you tell me how you came
into the family家庭?"
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同我講下你係點嚟到呢個屋企呢?」
03:31
And they explained解釋.
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佢哋就講畀我聽
03:33
One said,
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一個細路話
03:35
"My parents父母 did not have good seeds種子,
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「我嘅阿爸阿媽冇好嘅種子,
03:38
but there are friendly友好 men男人 out there
who have spare備用 seeds種子.
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但係有啲好人有剩餘嘅種子,
03:43
They bring them to the hospital醫院,
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佢哋將啲種子帶去醫院度,
03:45
and they put them in a big jarJar.
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放喺一個大罐度。
03:48
My mommy亞媽 went there,
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我媽咪佢喺醫院
03:49
and she took two from the jarJar,
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從個罐度摞咗兩粒種子,
03:52
one for me and one for my sister亞妹.
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一個係我,一個係我妹妹。
03:55
She put the seeds種子 in her belly肚皮 --
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佢將種植放入佢肚腩度。
03:58
somehow無論如何 --
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唔知點,
04:00
and her belly肚皮 grew增長 really big,
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佢嘅肚腩就變到好大,
04:02
and there I was."
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然後我就出咗世。」
04:05
Hmm.
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04:08
So only when they started初時
mentioning the donor,
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佢哋有提到精子捐贈人時
04:12
I asked問吓 questions個問題 about him,
using使用 their佢哋 own自己 words的話.
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我就用佢哋嘅語言
問關於捐赠人嘅問題
04:15
I said,
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我話
04:17
"If this would be an apple蘋果
for the friendly友好 man with the seeds種子,
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「如果呢個蘋果係
嗰個有種植嘅好人,
04:21
what would you do with it?"
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你會點做?」
04:24
And one boy男孩 was thinking思維 out loud大聲,
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有個男仔攞住個紙蘋果
04:26
holding舉行 the apple蘋果.
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諗邊講
04:27
And he said,
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話:
04:29
"I won't唔會 put this one
up there with the others.
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「我唔會將個蘋果放喺個樹上,
04:33
He's not part部分 of my family家庭.
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佢唔係我屋企人,
04:36
But I will not put him on the ground地面.
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但係我亦唔會將佢放喺個地度,
04:38
That's too cold and too hard努力.
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個地度太凍太硬。
04:41
I think he should be in the trunk樹幹,
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我覺得佢應該喺個樹幹度,
04:44
because he made作出 my family家庭 possible可能.
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因為佢使我哋有個屋企,
04:47
If he would not have done this,
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如果冇佢(將種子放入個罐度),
04:49
that would really be sad傷心
because my family家庭 would not be here,
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就冇我哋屋企, 咁就好慘喇,
04:53
and I would not be here."
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我就唔會喺度。」
04:57
So also, parents父母
constructed構建 family家庭 tales故事 --
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所以,父母都會講啲
05:01
tales故事 to tell their佢哋 children孩子.
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關於屋企嘅故仔畀啲仔女聽
05:04
One couple夫婦 explained解釋 their佢哋 insemination人工授精
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有對夫婦為咗解釋佢哋受精嘅過程
05:07
by taking採取 their佢哋 children孩子 to a farm農場
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帶咗啲仔女去農場
05:11
to watch a vet獸醫 inseminate受精 cows.
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睇獸醫同奶牛接種
05:15
And why not?
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有咩唔得呢?
05:17
It's their佢哋 way of explaining解釋;
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呢個係佢哋解釋嘅方式
05:19
their佢哋 do-it-yourself自己動手
with family家庭 narratives敍述.
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佢哋自製嘅家庭敘事方式
05:22
DIYDiy.
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DIY
05:24
And we had another另一個 couple夫婦
who made作出 books --
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我哋仲採訪咗一對自己整書
05:26
a book for each每個 child孩子.
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一個細路一本書嘅夫婦
05:28
They were really works工程 of art藝術
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嗰啲書真係藝術品
05:30
containing their佢哋 thoughts思想 and feelings感情
throughout整個 the treatment治療.
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寫咗夫婦喺治療過程嘅感想
05:34
They even had the hospital醫院
parking停車 tickets in there.
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仲放埋當時喺醫院嘅泊車飛入去
05:37
So it is DIYDiy:
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呢就係 DIY
05:39
finding發現 ways方式, words的話 and images圖像
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揾到方法、語言同畫面
05:41
to tell your family家庭 story故事 to your child孩子.
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將你屋企嘅故仔話畀啲仔女知
05:45
And these stories故事 were highly高度 diverse不同,
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呢啲故仔多種多樣
05:48
but they all had one thing in common常見:
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但係有個共同點:
05:53
it was a tale故事 of longing渴望 for a child孩子
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都有講對 BB 嘅渴望
05:57
and a quest追求 for that child孩子.
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同追求
06:00
It was about how special特殊
and how deeply深深 loved their佢哋 child孩子 was.
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係關於佢哋對仔女深深嘅愛
06:07
And research研究 so far shows顯示
that these children孩子 are doing fine.
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研究顯示, 呢啲仔女發育得好正常
06:11
They do not have
more problems個問題 than other kids孩子.
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並冇比其他細路多問題
06:14
Yet尚未, these parents父母 also wanted
to justify證明 their佢哋 decisions決定
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但係,呢啲父母亦想通過啲家庭故仔
06:19
through透過 the tales故事 they tell.
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為自己辯護
06:21
They hoped希望 that their佢哋 children孩子
would understand理解 their佢哋 reasons原因
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佢哋希望佢哋嘅仔女明白
06:24
for making決策 the family家庭 in this way.
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佢哋用呢種方式組建家庭嘅理由
06:27
Underlying基礎 was a fear恐懼
that their佢哋 children孩子 might可能 disapprove反對
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表面之下,佢哋好驚佢哋嘅仔女會
06:31
and would reject拒絕 the non-genetic非遺傳 parent父母.
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唔認同甚至抗拒冇血緣嘅父母
06:34
And that fear恐懼 is understandable理解,
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呢種擔心係情有可原
06:37
because we live in a very heteronormativeheteronormative
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事關我哋身處一個異性主流
06:40
and geneticizedgeneticized society社會 --
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同強調基因遺傳嘅社會
06:42
a world世界 that still believes相信
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一個仲係相信一個真正嘅家庭
06:43
that true真係 families家庭 consist
of one mom亞媽, one dad老竇
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有一個爸爸,一個媽媽,仲有
06:48
and their佢哋 genetically基因 related相關 children孩子.
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同佢哋有血緣關係嘅仔女嘅家庭
06:51
Well.
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06:54
I want to tell you about a teenage青少年 boy男孩.
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我想同大家分享一個男仔嘅故仔
06:57
He was donor-conceived捐助者設想嘅
but not part部分 of our study研究.
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佢係靠捐贈出世
但唔係我哋嘅研究對象
07:00
One day, he had an argument參數
with his father老竇,
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有一日,佢同佢阿爸鬧交
07:03
and he yelled大叫,
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佢話:
07:05
"You're telling話畀 me what to do?
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「你要叫我做嘢?
07:07
You're not even my father老竇!"
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你都唔係我爸爸!」
07:11
That was exactly完全 what
the parents父母 in our study研究 feared.
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呢就係我哋研究嘅父母最驚嘅
07:15
Now, the boy男孩 soon好快 felt覺得 sorry,
and they made作出 up.
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呢個男仔好快就知錯
然後同佢爸爸好返
07:19
But it is the reaction反應 of his father老竇
that is most interesting有趣.
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最好玩嘅就係佢爸爸對呢件事嘅反應
07:24
He said,
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佢話:
07:25
"This outburst突出 had nothing to do
with the lack缺乏 of a genetic遺傳 link連結.
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「成件事同我哋冇基因聯繫冇關係,
07:31
It was about puberty青春期 --
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關個仔喺青春期多啲。
07:35
being difficult困難.
138
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07:36
It's what they do at that age年齡.
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到嗰個年齡就係咁㗎啦,
07:38
It will pass透過."
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而且會過去嘅。」
07:41
What this man shows顯示 us
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呢個男人使我哋明白
07:43
is that when something goes wrong,
142
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有啲事唔順利時
07:46
we should not immediately即刻 think
143
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唔好即刻諗
07:48
it is because the family家庭
is a little different不同.
144
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係因為屋企有啲唔同
07:51
These things happen發生 in all families家庭.
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查實個個屋企都會有啲嘢唔同
07:55
And every now and then,
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而且
07:57
all parents父母 may可能 wonder:
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所有嘅父母都想知
08:00
Am I a good enough parent父母?
148
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佢哋做阿爸阿媽夠唔夠稱職
08:03
These parents父母, too.
149
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我哋研究嘅父母亦會咁問
08:05
They, above以上 all, wanted to do
what's best最好 for their佢哋 child孩子.
150
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畢竟,佢哋都想畀仔女最好嘅嘢
08:09
But they also sometimes有時 wondered:
151
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1895
佢哋有時亦會諗
08:12
Am I a real真正 parent父母?
152
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我係咪一個真正嘅阿爸阿媽?
08:14
And their佢哋 uncertainties不塙定性 were present目前
long before they even were parents父母.
153
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佢哋喺做爸爸媽媽之前就唔確定
08:18
At the start初時 of treatment治療,
154
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個療程啱啱開始時
08:19
when they first saw the counselor顧問,
155
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佢哋第一次去見諮詢師時
08:22
they paid支付 close關閉 attention注意
to the counselor顧問,
156
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佢哋就聽得好專心
08:24
because they wanted to do it right.
157
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2007
事關佢哋好想做得好
08:27
Even 10 years later之後,
158
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甚至十年後
08:30
they still remember記得
the advice建議 they were given.
159
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佢哋仲記得當初收到嘅建議
08:36
So when they thought about the counselor顧問
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所以佢哋諗起嗰個諮詢師
08:40
and the advice建議 they were given,
161
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同佢畀嘅建議
08:42
we discussed討論 that.
162
510677
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我哋就討論下
08:43
And we saw one lesbian女同 couple夫婦 who said,
163
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3564
有一對女同性戀夫婦講:
08:48
"When our son asks問吓 us,
164
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1604
「我哋嘅仔仔問我哋︰
08:50
'Do I have a dad老竇?'
165
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『我有冇阿爸?』
08:53
we will say 'No"沒有, you do not have a dad老竇.'
166
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我哋會話:『唔,你冇阿爸。』
08:56
But we will say nothing more,
not unless除左 he asks問吓,
167
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但係我哋唔會再講咩,除非佢再問,
09:00
because he might可能 not be ready準備 for that.
168
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事關佢可能未準備好接受嗰個答案。
09:02
The counselor顧問 said so."
169
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嗰個諮詢師都話係咁。」
09:05
Well.
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1170
09:07
I don't know; that's quite都幾 different不同
171
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呢個同我哋一般
09:09
from how we respond響應
to children's兒童 questions個問題.
172
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解答細路嘅問題好唔一樣
09:12
Like, "Milk牛奶 -- is that made作出 in a factory?"
173
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譬如「牛奶係咪喺工廠裡邊造出嚟?」
09:15
We will say, "No, it comes from cows,"
174
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3162
我哋會話「唔係,
牛奶喺奶牛個度出嚟嘅。」
09:18
and we will talk about the farmer農民,
175
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1756
然後我哋會講下農民
09:20
and the way the milk牛奶 ends結束 up in the shop.
176
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同牛奶點樣去到商店
09:23
We will not say,
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我哋唔會講
09:26
"No, milk牛奶 is not made作出 in a factory."
178
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3608
「唔係,牛奶唔係喺工廠度
整出嚟嘅。」
09:32
So something strange奇怪 happened發生 here,
179
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2430
所以就有怪事發生
09:34
and of course課程 these children孩子 noticed注意 that.
180
562496
2358
啲細路都發覺到
09:37
One boy男孩 said,
181
565571
1285
一個男仔講︰
09:39
"I asked問吓 my parents父母 loads負荷 of questions個問題,
182
567445
2392
「我問我爸媽好多問題,
09:41
but they acted行動 really weird奇怪.
183
569861
1809
但係佢哋嘅反應得好奇怪。
09:44
So, you know, I have a friend朋友 at school學校,
and she's made作出 in the same相同 way.
184
572788
3944
我喺學校有個朋友,
佢亦係捐贈受孕出世嘅。
09:49
When I have a question個問題,
I just go and ask問吓 her."
185
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3000
我有嘢想問時, 就直頭去問佢。」
09:53
Clever guy.
186
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1208
叻仔!
09:55
Problem個問題 solved解決.
187
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1297
問題就咁解決咗
09:57
But his parents父母 did not notice通知,
188
585765
2584
但係佢嘅父母都唔覺得係咁
10:00
and it certainly梗係 was not
what they had in mind介意,
189
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2582
佢哋同個諮詢師討論建立
10:03
nor what the counselor顧問 had in mind介意
190
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1934
一個開放式溝通嘅家庭時
10:05
when they were saying how important重要
it is to be an open-communication開放式通信 family家庭.
191
593439
5197
應該冇諗到呢個情況
10:12
And that's the strange奇怪 thing about advice建議.
192
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2254
畀人哋意見就係奇怪
10:14
When we offer提供 people pills,
we gather收集 evidence證據 first.
193
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3296
我哋同人開藥時,會先收集證據
10:18
We do tests測試,
194
606536
1256
再做化驗
10:19
we do follow-up後續行動 studies研究.
195
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1301
再做後續研究
10:21
We want to know, and rightly so,
what this pill is doing
196
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3927
我哋要知道個藥丸有咩作用
10:25
and how it affects影響 people's人民 lives生活.
197
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同會點影響病人嘅生活
10:28
And advice建議?
198
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1321
至於畀意見呢?
10:30
It is not enough for advice建議,
199
618748
1846
專家畀意見
10:32
or for professionals專業人士 to give advice建議
that is theoretically理論上 sound聲音,
200
620618
4823
唔應該就係理論上好好
10:37
or well-meant正意味.
201
625465
1301
或者有善意,就得喇
10:39
It should be advice建議
that there is evidence證據 for --
202
627447
3381
畀出嘅意見應該有
10:42
evidence證據 that it actually講真
improves提高 patients'患者 ' lives生活.
203
630852
3901
真正改善人嘅生活嘅證據
10:48
So the philosopher哲學家 in me
would now like to offer提供 you a paradox悖論:
204
636174
4563
身為一個哲學家
我想畀大家一個悖論諗下:
10:54
I advise建議 you to stop following以下 advice建議.
205
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4084
我建議大家唔再聽從任何建議
10:59
But, yes.
206
647897
1392
11:02
(Applause掌聲)
207
650221
2917
(掌聲)
11:06
I will not end結束 here with what went wrong;
208
654591
2563
我唔想講完咩錯咗就停低
11:09
I would not be doing justice正義
to the warmth溫暖 we found發現 in those families家庭.
209
657178
4236
咁係對唔住我哋研究嘅咁溫暖嘅家庭
11:14
Remember記得 the books
and the trip旅行 to the farmer農民?
210
662931
2630
仲記唔記得
嗰啲自製書同去農場嘅郊遊?
11:17
When parents父母 do things that work for them,
211
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3614
父母做適合啲仔女嘅嘢時
11:21
they do brilliant輝煌 things.
212
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1573
佢哋做得好叻
11:24
What I want you to remember記得
as members成員 of families家庭,
213
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3643
我想大家記住,作為家庭嘅一份子
11:28
in no matter個問題 what form形式 or shape形狀,
214
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2491
無論個屋企係咩形式
11:30
is that what families家庭 need
are warm溫暖 relationships關係.
215
678930
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屋企人需要互相關愛
11:37
And we do not need to be
professionals專業人士 to create創建 those.
216
685409
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冇專業人士嘅指導
11:41
Most of us do just fine,
217
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2302
我哋都會做得好好
11:44
although雖然 it may可能 be hard努力 work,
218
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1709
雖然可能會好難
11:47
and from time to time,
we can do with some advice建議.
219
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時不時,仲要聽下其他人嘅意見
11:51
In that case情況下,
220
699209
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所以
11:52
bear in mind介意 three things.
221
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2023
記住三件事
11:55
Work with advice建議
that works工程 for your family家庭.
222
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3287
聽取適合你屋企人嘅意見
12:00
Remember記得 -- you're the expert專家,
because you live your family家庭 life.
223
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記住,你係專家
事關呢個係你同你家人嘅生活
12:06
And finally最後,
224
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收屘
12:08
believe in your abilities能力
and your creativity創造力,
225
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3990
相信你自己嘅能力同創意
12:13
because you can do it yourself自己.
226
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3345
你自己搞得掂
12:17
Thank you.
227
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多謝
12:18
(Applause掌聲)
228
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6478
(鼓掌)
Translated by Yingyan Chan
Reviewed by Sylvia He

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Veerle Provoost - Bioethicist
Veerle Provoost studies genetic and social parenthood in the context of donor conception.

Why you should listen

Veerle Provoost is a professor at the Bioethics Institute Ghent of Ghent University and a member of the Network on Ethics of Families. For her current research she coordinates a team of researchers who work on a study about genetic and social parenthood in the context of donor conception.

Using empirical research methods and Socratic conversation techniques, Provoost studies how professionals and ordinary people reason about health and how they make decisions in health-related contexts. In her courses on empirical research methods for ethics and bioethics, she teaches students how to look beyond mere experiences or general attitudes and to explore the principles and values that guide people's reasoning and decision-making. Her research shows that patients may bring their own sets of principles when making medical decisions, principles that may be very different from what medical staff anticipated and may feature around moral elements that may completely escape the attention of ethicists. For one, the moral reasoning of everyday people is centered more around relationships than around the principles that are at the core of scholarly bioethics.

In her talk TEDxGhent talk, she explains how we can gain valuable insights from families of children conceived with donor sperm and their views about what a family really is. These alternative families teach us what matters most in the decisions we all make for our children, whether or not they are genetically related to us. The parents and children she studied created their own family stories (about how their families were made) in highly diverse but very creative ways. However, some parents thought that they should strictly follow the advice of experts in their communication with their children. Because of that, they discounted their own competence. Based on her research experience, Provoost warns us for the negative effects of problematizing these families. Because no matter what a family looks like, or how it is made, parents should believe in their abilities and their creativity. As they know their families best, they are the real experts in how to find the best way to tell their own family story to their own child.

More profile about the speaker
Veerle Provoost | Speaker | TED.com

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