TEDxWomen 2012
Angela Patton: A father-daughter dance ... in prison
Angela Patton: Et far- og datter-ball... i fengsel
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På Camp Diva, jobber Angela Patton med å hjelpe døtre og fedre til å ta del i hverandres liv. Hva så med fedrene som ikke kan være der -- fordi de er i fengsel? Patton forteller historien om et veldig spesielt ball. (Filmet på TEDxWomen)
Angela Patton - Activist
Angela Patton is an ambassador for who she calls "at-promise" (as opposed to "at-risk") girls and a serial innovator. Full bio
Angela Patton is an ambassador for who she calls "at-promise" (as opposed to "at-risk") girls and a serial innovator. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:17
I was sitting with my girls,
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Jeg satt med jentene mine,
00:20
and Joy said,
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og Joy sa,
00:22
"Dang, I wish he'd get off my back.
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"Søren, jeg skulle ønske han ikke blandet seg sånn.
00:26
My daddy, he calls me all the time."
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Faren min, han ringer meg hele tiden."
00:30
"Lucky for you he calls at all," said Jasmine.
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"Du er heldig at han ringer i det hele tatt," sa Jasmine.
00:33
"I haven't heard from my dad in years."
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"Jeg har ikke hørt fra faren min på flere år."
00:36
At this moment, I knew the girls needed a way
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Da forsto jeg at jentene trengte en måte
00:41
to connect with their fathers.
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å komme nærmere fedrene sine på.
00:43
At Camp Diva, my non-profit organization,
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På Camp Diva, min veldedige organisasjon,
00:47
we have these types of conversations all the time
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så har vi denne slags samtaler hele tiden
00:51
as a way to help girls of African descent
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som en måte å hjelpe jenter med afrikansk opphav
00:54
prepare for their passage into womanhood.
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å forberede overgangen til å bli kvinner.
00:57
These girls just needed
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Disse jentene trengte bare
01:01
a way to invite their fathers into their lives
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en måte å invitere fedrene sine inn i livene deres på,
01:05
on their own terms.
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på deres premisser.
01:07
So I asked the girls,
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Så jeg spurte jentene,
01:09
"How can we help other girls
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"Hvordan kan vi hjelpe andre jenter
01:12
develop healthy relationships with their fathers?"
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å utvikle et sunt forhold til fedrene sine?"
01:16
"Let's have a dance," one girl shouted,
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"Vi kan ha et ball," ropte en jente,
01:21
and all the girls quickly backed her up.
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og alle jentene var raske til å støtte henne.
01:25
They started dreaming about the decorations,
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De begynte å drømme om dekorasjoner,
01:28
invitations, the dresses they were going to wear,
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invitasjonene, kjolene de skulle gå i,
01:31
and what their fathers could and could not wear. (Laughter)
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og hva fedrene deres kunne og ikke kunne gå i. (Latter)
01:36
It was off and running before I could even blink my eyes,
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De var i full gang før jeg rakk å blunke,
01:40
but even if I could have slowed down those girls,
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men selv om jeg kunne ha lagt en demper på dem,
01:44
I wouldn't have,
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så hadde jeg ikke gjort det.
01:46
because one thing that I have learned
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For er det en ting jeg har lært
01:48
from over a decade of working with girls
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fra å jobbe med jenter i over ti år
01:51
is that they already know what they need.
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så er det at de allerede vet hva de trenger.
01:54
The wisdom lives inside of them.
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Visdommen bor i dem.
01:59
As long as they have infrastructure,
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Så lenge de har infrastruktur,
02:02
mentorship and resources,
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veiledere og ressurser,
02:04
they can build what they need,
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så kan de bygge hva de trenger selv,
02:07
not only to survive, but to thrive.
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ikke bare for å overleve, men for å blomstre.
02:13
So we had a dance,
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Så vi hadde et ball,
02:17
and girls and their fathers came in multitudes.
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og jentene og fedrene deres kom i hopetall.
02:22
They were dressed to the nines.
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De var staselig kledd.
02:25
They acted sweet.
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De oppførte seg pent.
02:27
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
02:31
They acted silly.
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De var tullete.
02:32
They really enjoyed each other's company.
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De nøt virkelig hverandres selskap.
02:36
It was a huge success.
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Det ble virkelig vellykket.
02:38
And the girls decided to make it an annual event.
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Og jentene bestemte seg for å gjøre det til en årlig hendelse.
02:44
So as the seasons changed,
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Årstidene gikk,
02:46
and it was time to plan the dance again,
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og det var på tide å planlegge ballet igjen.
02:49
one girl named Brianna spoke up,
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Så tok en jente som het Brianna ordet,
02:52
and she said,
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og hun sa
02:54
"My dad can't come to the dance,
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"Faren min kan ikke komme,
02:57
and this whole thing is making me sad."
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og jeg blir lei meg av alt det her."
03:01
"Why not?" the girls asked.
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"Hvorfor ikke?" spurte de andre jentene.
03:04
"Because he's in jail," she bravely admitted.
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"Fordi han sitter inne," var hun modig og innrømte.
03:09
"Well, can he just get out for a day?" one of the girls asked. (Laughter)
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"Kan han ikke bare slippe ut den ene dagen?" spurte en av jentene. (Latter)
03:14
"And come in shackles?
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"Og komme i lenker?
03:17
That's worse than not having him here at all."
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Det er verre enn om han ikke kommer i det hele tatt."
03:21
At this moment, I saw an opportunity
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Det var da jeg så en mulighet
03:26
for the girls to rise to the occasion
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for jentene til å ta utfordringen
03:29
and to become their own heroes.
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og bli sine egne helter.
03:31
So I asked, "What do you think we should do about this?
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Jeg spurte, "Hva syns dere vi bør gjøre med dette?
03:36
We want every girl to experience the dance, right?"
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Vi vil vel at alle jentene kan få med seg ballet, ikke sant?"
03:41
So the girls thought for a moment,
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Så jentene tenkte en stund,
03:43
and one girl suggested,
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så foreslo en av dem,
03:45
"Why don't we just take the dance in the jail?"
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"Hvorfor ikke bare ha det i fengselet?"
03:50
Most of the girls doubted the possibility of that,
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De fleste av dem tvilte på at det var mulig,
03:54
and said, "Are you crazy?
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og sa "Er du sprø?
03:56
Who is going to allow a bunch of little girls,
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Hvem vil tillatte masse småjenter,
03:59
dressed up — " (Laughter)
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som har pyntet seg --" (Latter)
04:02
" — to come inside a jail and dance with their daddies in Spongebob suits?"
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"-- å komme i fengsel for å danse med fedrene sine i Svampebob-kostymer?"
04:07
Because that's what they called them.
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For det var det de kalte det.
04:11
I said, "Girls, well, well,
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Jeg sa, "Jenter, ja, ja,
04:15
you never know unless you ask."
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du vet ikke før du har spurt.
04:19
So a letter was written to the Richmond City Sheriff,
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Så vi skrev et brev til sheriffen i byen Richmond,
04:23
signed collectively by each girl,
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underskrevet av hver enkelt av jentene,
04:27
and I would have to say, he is a very special sheriff.
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og jeg må si at han er en veldig spesiell sheriff.
04:33
He contacted me immediately and said,
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Han kontaktet meg med en gang og sa,
04:37
whenever there is an opportunity to bring families inside,
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der det er en mulighet for å få familier inn på innsiden,
04:43
his doors are always open.
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så er hans dør alltid åpen.
04:47
Because one thing he did know,
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Fordi var det en ting han visste,
04:49
that when fathers are connected to their children,
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så var det at når fedrene var tilknyttet sine barn,
04:52
it is less likely that they will return.
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var det mindre sjanse for at de kom tilbake.
04:57
So,
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Så,
04:59
16 inmates and 18 girls were invited.
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16 innsatte og 18 jenter var invitert.
05:05
The girls were dressed in their Sunday best,
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Jentene var kledd i sine fineste søndagssklær,
05:09
and the fathers traded in their yellow and blue jumpsuits
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og fedrene byttet inn sine gule og blå overaller
05:14
for shirts and ties.
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med skjorte og slips.
05:18
They hugged.
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De klemte hverandre.
05:21
They shared a full catered meal of chicken and fish.
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De delte et fullt cateringmåltid med kylling og fisk.
05:25
They laughed together.
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De lo sammen.
05:29
It was beautiful.
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Det var vakkert.
05:34
The fathers and daughters even experienced
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Fedrene og deres døtre fikk til og med
05:38
an opportunity to have a physical connection,
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muligheten til fysisk kontakt,
05:42
something that a lot of them didn't even have
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noe mange av dem ikke hadde hatt
05:45
for a while.
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på en god stund.
05:46
Fathers were in a space where they were able to
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Fedrene fikk muligheten til å
05:50
make their daughters play,
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hjelpe sine døtre å leke,
05:53
and pull out her chair and extend his hand for a dance.
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og dra ut stolen for henne, og gi henne sin hånd til en dans.
05:59
Even the guards cried.
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Selv vaktene gråt.
06:03
But after the dance,
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Men etterpå,
06:06
we all realized that Dad still would be in jail.
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innså vi alle at fedrene fortsatt ville være i fengsel.
06:11
So we needed to create something
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Så vi bestemte oss for å lage noe
06:14
that they could take with them.
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de kunne ta med seg.
06:16
So we brought in Flip cams,
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Vi tok med små videokameraer.
06:19
and we had them look at the Flip cams
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Og vi ba dem se på videokameraene
06:21
and just interview each other --
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og bare intervjue hverandre --
06:23
their messages, their thoughts.
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det de ville fortelle, deres tanker.
06:27
This was going to be used as a touchstone
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Det ville være et felles bånd
06:30
so when they started to miss each other
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sånn at når de begynte å savne hverandre
06:32
and feel disconnected,
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og føle at de ikke var knyttet sammen,
06:35
they could reconnect through this image.
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så kunne de gjenopprette et bånd gjennom det bildet.
06:38
I'll never forget that one girl looked in her father's eyes
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Jeg vil aldri glemme den ene jenten som så faren i øynene
06:43
with that camera and said,
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tok kamera og sa,
06:45
"Daddy, when you look at me, what do you see?"
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"Pappa, når du ser på meg, hva ser du?"
06:52
Because our daddies are our mirrors
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Fordi fedrene våre er våre speil
06:56
that we reflect back on
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som reflekterer tilbake mot oss
06:58
when we decide about what type of man we deserve,
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når vi bestemmer oss for hva slags mann vi fortjener,
07:03
and how they see us for the rest of our lives.
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og hvordan de ser oss resten av våre liv.
07:06
I know that very well,
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Jeg vet det ekstra godt,
07:10
because I was one of the lucky girls.
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fordi jeg var en av de heldige jentene.
07:12
I have had
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Jeg hadde
07:18
my father in my life always.
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alltid faren min i livet mitt.
07:24
He's even here today.
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Han er til og med her i dag.
07:26
(Applause)
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(Applaus)
07:35
And that is why it is extremely special
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Og det er derfor det er så spesielt for meg
07:39
for me to make sure that these girls
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å sørge for at disse jentene
07:42
are connected to their fathers,
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er knyttet til sine fedre,
07:45
especially those who are separated
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særlig de som er fra hverandre
07:48
because of barbed wires and metal doors.
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på grunn av piggtråd og metalldører.
07:53
We have just created a form
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Vi har bare laget en mulighet
07:56
for girls who have heavy questions on their heart
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for jenter som har tunge spørsmål på hjertet
07:59
to be in a position to ask their fathers those questions
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å få en sjanse til å stille fedrene sine disse spørsmålene
08:04
and given the fathers the freedom to answer.
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og å gi fedrene deres friheten til å svare.
08:08
Because we know that the fathers
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Fordi vi vet at fedrene
08:12
are even leaving with this one thought:
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også sitter igjen med denne ene tanken:
08:15
What type of woman am I preparing to put in the world?
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Hva slags kvinne er det jeg sender ut i verden?
08:20
Because a father is locked in
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At en far er innelåst
08:24
does not mean he should be locked out
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betyr ikke at de skal stenges ute
08:27
of his daughter's life.
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fra deres døtres liv.
08:29
(Applause)
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(Applaus)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Angela Patton - ActivistAngela Patton is an ambassador for who she calls "at-promise" (as opposed to "at-risk") girls and a serial innovator.
Why you should listen
As the leader and CEO of Girls For A Change (GFAC), Angela Patton is committed to "preparing black girls for the world ... and the world for black Girls. Patton founded Camp Diva in Richmond, Virginia in 2004, to honor Diva Mstadi Smith-Roan, a five-year-old who died in a firearm accident earlier that year. That summer, Patton planned a two-week experience that gave Diva's mother an opportunity to share her motherly love with girls in need of a support system. The program grew and went national in October 2013, when Camp Diva merged with California-based Girls For A Change, a nonprofit through which 100 girls' groups throughout nation work together to envision and execute lasting change in their neighborhoods, cities or schools. In the summer of 2016, Patton lead her board and staff to retool the organization's focus and build a program structure to more accurately reflect GFAC's goal to work with black girls and to disseminate our programs using a specific, replicable approach.
Following the release of Patton's TED Talk describing a father-daughter dance for incarcerated dads and their "at-promise" girls, her work was featured on ABC World News, Inside Edition, NPR and This is Life Lisa Ling. She has spoken for corporations, at conferences on girls as well as colleges and universities throughout the country. When she isn't inspiring change, advocating gender equality and empowering girls, she enjoys festivals and concerts with her husband and motivator, Raymond Patton, and their loving children, Imhotep and Asani.
Angela Patton | Speaker | TED.com