Lucy Kalanithi: What makes life worth living in the face of death
Lucy Kalanithi is dedicated to helping others choose the health care and end-of-life experiences that best align with their values. Full bio
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was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer,
medical students at Yale.
in the trunk of his car,
the care he took with his patients.
the experience of illness
of a heart that had ceased beating.
to approach suffering together.
as a neurosurgeon
and a cough that wouldn't go away.
in Paul's lungs and in his bones.
with devastating diagnoses;
for 22 months.
through really tough medical decisions.
into the hospital for the last time
as a caregiver --
deepened what that meant.
his identity during his illness,
bouncing back to where you were before,
the hard stuff isn't hard.
approach it together,
Paul said to me after his diagnosis was,
we get to say anything out loud.
to be exactly what we needed.
just keep saying things out loud.
an advance directive is an act of love --
a tangible part of our love story.
accept his diagnosis.
in devastating situations,
and uncertainty of a serious illness.
against lung cancer,
months to a few years left to live.
from doctor to patient.
like he was suddenly at a crossroads,
he'd be able to see the path,
gleaming white desert.
had erased all familiarity.
what made my life worth living,
help to do so."
for my colleagues in health care.
have clarity around their prognoses
but it's especially tough
terminal illnesses like cancer.
how long they have left,
they painted a rosier picture
the possible outcomes of an illness,
with those conversations,
immensely helpful with big decisions.
Paul was not likely to see her grow up.
of being there for her birth
to say goodbye to a child
means accepting suffering.
working as a neurosurgeon,
was totally impossible.
prescribed a stimulant medication
his priorities and his worries.
he was willing to make.
are the best way to ensure
like that "birds and bees" talk
as quickly as possible,
as things change.
to give us answers they didn't have,
through painful choices ...
but his will to live wasn't.
means more than just staying alive.
a patient came into my clinic.
with a serious chronic disease.
about her life and her health care,
about their health care preferences.
started their answers with the words
medical treatment,
excessive or unwanted medical treatment.
psychological consequences
and a quarter of ICU doctors
that for some of their patients,
that didn't fit with the person's values.
your wishes are respected
if it offered any chance of longer life?
about the quality of that time,
are thoughtful and brave,
do you want genetic screening?
in a clinic or at home?
live the way you want to?
a decision in your health care.
that's not right for you.
is stitched with its color."
that we could cure his illness.
both joy and sadness at the same time;
and sleepless nights,
run around on the grass.
and watch the sunset with our friends.
meditation have helped a lot.
I get to watch our daughter grow.
about what I'm going to say to her
range of experience --
despite suffering.
isn't always a battle.
different than we thought.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Lucy Kalanithi - CaregiverLucy Kalanithi is dedicated to helping others choose the health care and end-of-life experiences that best align with their values.
Why you should listen
Stanford internist Lucy Kalanithi is the widow of neurosurgeon and writer Paul Kalanithi, who was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer at age 36. Shortly after his diagnosis, Paul wrote about his transformation from doctor to patient, and explored what makes life worth living in the face of death in his poignant memoir When Breath Becomes Air. After Paul died in 2015, Lucy completed his memoir and wrote its powerful epilogue. As a caregiver for her husband during all phases of his illness and as a practicing physician and a thinker on healthcare value, Lucy is dedicated to helping others choose the health care and end-of-life experiences that best align with their values. She lives in the Bay Area with her and Paul’s daughter, Cady.
Lucy Kalanithi | Speaker | TED.com